MedWorm: Mental Illness

Trains galore...

The 4th Avenue Blues — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:18:00 +0100

I spent another long morning down at the rail yard. I hiked all the way from where the old train station used to be to the end of that old dilapidated cotton mill. One thing about walking the tracks is you get to see the backside of town. I did get to see two trains which thrilled my soul. I waved vigorously at the engineer as one train passed. Helen is already here. She is washing my sheets and comforter. Soon, she will get supper started. She is frying pork chops and preparing rutabagas, mashed potatoes, pear salad, and cornbread muffins. My mouth is already watering. Folks, I really don't know what to write these days. This is the first time in the life of this blog that I have nothing to say or write. Hopefully, this writer's block will pass. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)

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Progress?

bipolar.and.me — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:38:00 +0100

I didn't talk with my "online friend" at all yesterday. This is a big step for me. But it took a little bit of work. I was playing and he logged on as soon as he got home from work. I don't know if he didn't want to say hello or he didn't have a chance to see that I was online (it was only about 60 seconds that he had logged on), but I heard the garage door open for Mark, and I immediately logged off.We got dinner, did some things, and it was quite awhile before I logged back on which is NOT typical of me at all. Before I logged back on, I took all of my nighttime meds (and tripled my Seroquel dose), and he wasn't on. It took maybe 30 minutes, and I couldn't even type I was so out of it. People were asking me to do "instances" (dungeons) with them, and I just told them I had a bad cold and took a lot of cold medicine and was going to bed soon.So...Day 1 of not speaking to him at all. Maybe all it will take is time and space to distance myself and not feel so desperate to talk to him. I feel much better about it today, and not so anxious. I do NOT want to stop playing the game though!I think the Abilify must be helping, though, or I wouldn't have even been able to do what I did yesterday. I didn't logon at ALL during the day which I normally do. I just worked really hard.Speaking of work - one of the contractors got cut yesterday. I'm a contractor, too. I'm a little bit worried that I may lose my job now. We're in different departments, and she's a sourcer while I'm a full life cycle recruiter, so it IS different. Mark said if they were doing layoffs, it would all be done in mass quantities so people wouldn't be sitting around wondering "am I next?", and thinks it was her job performance. My job performance SUCKS in my opinion. I have too much on my plate, and haven't been giving my job 100%. Speaking of...I'd better get to work. (Source: bipolar.and.me)

Week two in the process: evaluating the importance of this blog

The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:00:00 +0100

In which Douglas contemplates his binary navel.One thing I noticed now that I've mentally put my blog on the back burner is that I am awfully dedicated to something that doesn't do anything for me. I refer, of course, to earning money, the universal validator of purpose and relevance. However, if I wanted to blog for money, I certainly wouldn't blog here. I know you folks don't click on the Google ads. If I just wanted money, I'd update my Bear Grylls blog which earns money through Google ads and Amazon.com affiliate purchases each and every month. But I don't update that blog. Instead I blog here.That doesn't sound smart. Why do I blog here?Frankly, I feel like I've got a free lemonade stand on the side of the Information Super Highway. People expect the stand to be there when they feel like dropping by. They also expect the lemonade to taste the same as the last time they visited. If my current lemonade has a faint hint of Depression and they were expecting the sparkling flavor of spicy ADHD, then I lose them. Same if it's the other way around. The majority of readers aren't here to learn more about Douglas Cootey. They just want some more lemonade, and only when they're in the mood for it. The end result is that I stay still while my readers move on with their lives.That can't be any fun. So why do I blog here? Roughly 3000 people a month drop by for my quirky flavored lemonade. Most don't bother letting me know what they think of it. They just drink and go. I have no idea one way or another what it is they enjoy here or why some never drop by again. This bothers me sometimes, especially when I'm paying attention to stats. For example, I'm down 30 subscribers from last month, but then I don't know why I was up 30 subscribers to begin with. That doesn't sound like fun, either. So why do I blog here?The readers who do take time to comment truly make my day. I love feedback. Even the negative kind is better than silence. My need for feedback means I don't just blog for myself. I blog to be heard. Ah, so I blog for feedback, I blog to express myself, and I blog to be heard. Is that enough, though?Lately, I feel by writing about my weaknesses all the time I am allowing them to define me.I don't believe that is a good path towards success. My message, that you can master your disabilities without psych meds by utilizing optimism, humor, determination, and a large dose of self-analysis, is meaningless to many people. They like their psych meds. They feel the meds are worth the risk of side-effects. They need solutions now, not ten years down the road as I have done. And besides, who am I but just another guy with an opinion? If I really want that opinion to have any weight then I will need to find success - financial success. This will mean taking my disabilities on in a way that is more intense than I have ever attempted. It will mean finding success outside of my blog in a way that is national, not local. I have current freelance work. I've also had art published in England, and my scrapbook papers have been sold around the world, but none of it has built to a critical mass. Each success seems detached from the other. In the end, I'm still just this guy.Since I want more for myself, and since I am determined not to let my disabilities define me, I must simply roll up my sleeves and work harder. I'm glad I'm taking time to analyze just how terribly ADHD interferes with my productivity. Instead of just rolling with it day by day, I'm stepping back and seeing things in a new light. Lastly, I want to thank all my readers for their subscriptions and comments and time. I know you are busy and I appreciate every one of you. I'm not going anywhere. The Splintered Mind is one of the most successful things I have ever done in my life. I have touched thousands of people while coming to terms with my own limitations. It has been a good experience for me and I'm glad for the opportunity. I just think it is time I grow here to incorporate my new goals. This blog needs to be part of the creative process for me, not separate from it. I'm just not entirely sure how I'll bridge the gap, though, and not lose readers, but I have some great ideas......I love to read your comments so please take time to visit my site. Registration is not necessary. You can even post anonymously. (Source: The Splintered Mind by Douglas Cootey)

How goes, peeps?

Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:57:00 +0100

I'll TELL you how it goes here: unable to get to fucking sleep!I had an incredibly nasty migraine earlier which has fortunately passed, but my sinuses are screaming at me that they just might decide to exert enough pressure to induce another one at any moment. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure that I give two shits (so long as I am able to crawl in to work in the morning, that is). I am very good right now both physically and emotionally, and I dare anyone or anything to wrench the positive feelings from me.I know I owe a few friends phone calls, and I'll gladly get around to it over the next few days. In the meantime, peace out, and may you all find the loves of your lives. :-) (Source: Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind)

I walk the line

Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind — Fri, 16 May 2008 06:35:00 +0100

Hell fuckin' YEAH I love this song, and I was listening to it earlier in the evening during a very special phone conversation with P.; of course, I'm sure that some people may be pissed off to hear that, but I am in a unique place right now which doesn't require that I mind who I do or do not piss off. Does that make me bad? Hell no, it simply makes me REAL.(Johnny Cash)I keep a close watch on this heart of mineI keep my eyes wide open all the timeI keep the ends out for the tie that bindsBecause you're mine, I walk the lineI find it very, very easy to be trueI find myself alone when each day is throughYes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for youBecause you're mine, I walk the lineAs sure as night is dark and day is lightI keep you on my mind both day and nightAnd happiness I've known proves that it's rightBecause you're mine, I walk the lineYou've got a way to keep me on your sideYou give me cause for love that I can't hideFor you I know I'd even try to turn the tideBecause you're mine, I walk the lineI keep a close watch on this heart of mineI keep my eyes wide open all the timeI keep the ends out for the tie that bindsBecause you're mine, I walk the line (Source: Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind)

I worked a week. i even used my flex time this week.

My life's Adventure — Fri, 16 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

I did leave work half an hour early on Wednesday and then worked an extra half hour yesterday. I did manage to go the camping store and did also manage to not spend too much. I did not buy things... (Source: My life's Adventure)

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Song for rachael leaving

Apesma's Lament — Fri, 16 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

It hurts to see her go, but six and a half years is a pretty good run. Rachael Myers is leaving the lead organizer position at Real Change to take the ED job at the Washington Low Income Housing Alliance. I remember her interview in late-2001 for the organizer position. She was the stand-out in a weird field. There was bizarrely over-qualified guy who dropped out because the pay was too low. (Source: Apesma's Lament)

The face of depression

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 23:48:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

More astroturfing from the usa - save.org

seroxat secrets... — Thu, 15 May 2008 22:02:56 +0100

Bob Fiddaman at Seroxat Sufferers writes about a patient organisation in America called Suicide Awareness Voices Of Education (SAVE). This organisation is a fantastic example of astroturfing. For those of you unfamiliar with the word, astroturfing is a term for formal public relations campaigns… that seek to create the impression of being spontaneous, grassroots behavior. Hence the reference to AstroTurf (artificial grass) is a metaphor to indicate fake grassroots support. The goal of such a campaign is to disguise the agenda of a client as an independent public reaction to some political entity—a politician, political group, product, service or event. Astroturfers attempt to orchestrate the actions of apparently diverse and geographically distributed individuals, by both overt (”outreach,” “awareness,” etc.) and covert (disinformation) means. Astroturfing may be undertaken by anything from an individual pushing their own personal agenda through to highly organised professional groups with financial backing from large corporations. The tactic was invented by US pharmaceutical firms to promote drugs - and promptly adopted by the Republicans to shore up George Bush after 9/11. SAVE has a Board of Reference - the members of that Board include some of the finest reputations and opinions that pharmaceutical money can buy in the USA today. You simply MUST spend a few minutes to read Bob’s post about this ‘patient organisation’ - I’m shocked by what he has discovered about it. (Source: seroxat secrets...)

Beating depression

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:40:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

The blankie

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:48:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

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Today in my garden

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 18:43:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

The terror of depression

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:53:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Hard step in the right direction

bipolar.and.me — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:35:00 +0100

I know I just wrote a post, but I felt this was important enough to write another one.I'm living in a "fantasy world". I somehow need to disconnect myself from the online game. I can't do it completely, I know that, but I can play less. Somehow. Someway. As for my online friend? I don't think there needs to be a "break-up" talk, so to speak - just light discussion, kept brief and formal. Do I think I can do this? I don't know. If I can get past my online friend, maybe I can get past the game altogether. It's so ridiculous, his idea of us actually meeting, or even moving to where he lives, and me actually listening to it. I normally log onto the game during my lunch hour from home, but I haven't today. I didn't this morning (except before work), either. That's a huge step in the right direction. I don't think anyone realizes how much I play. I'm going to go buy Mark a card, and maybe something extra - and I even showered to do it!!! : )Now, if I can just keep the momentum going. It makes me feel like crying, though. It's actually painful. I want to cry this very instant. (Source: bipolar.and.me)

'schizophrenia' - a carer's journal — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:29:00 +0100

I went to ward round yesterday as arranged t three o'clock. Ward round would take place at three thirty I was then told.I was shown in to a room and Sam was brought to me. We chatted a bit. He found it hard to stay on the same subject. He kept giggling. He couldn't answer questions.Then suddenly they appeared. The consultant psychiatrist, his ward doctor and Sam's new named nurse.I talked of what had happened on Friday and how it had come about. I tried to involve Sam but he couldn't keep on the subject. his answers were about something totally different. he ended up only able to giggle and not talk at all. He kept leaving and returning. This is how the doctors see him. They don't see how well he can be at times when out with us. I tried to say some of this but all I got back was negativity.We think Sam has been better for the last few weeks but the named nurse was so very negative. They had seen no improvement, she said. His inappropriate sexual behaviour had increased. He would not join in with activities. They were a rehabilitation ward and could not meet his needs. They thought the family work and psychological therapy was counter productive as he was not ready for it.I had to walk away in the middle of writing this - I was so angry reminding myself of her negativity.The psychiatrist stepped in and pointed out that Sam's clinical psychologist had experience of working with patients with Sam's level of illness. In the main I found him supportive - but they were trying to put it back into my court as to what happens next. They seem to have given up.I was angry and firm but got nowhere. I pointed out that the ward was advertised as for "complex needs" patients and that all wards should be rehabilitation wards.He will get no more leave with us for the moment - not even with staff accompanying us. The named nurse made it clear that many staff felt it was unsafe to take Sam out and it shouldn't be down to who happens to be on duty. So he is clearly unlikely to be taken out by staff on their own. However members of the Assertive Outreach team can still take him out - as long as the ward staff agree. So that could still be an issue.The consultant psychiatrist showed me out past the seven locked doors. He is trying to be human and reasonable. There are few psychiatrists who would lower themselves to do so - even most of the nurses always try to get an ancillary staff to show us out as they see it as beneath them.At the end I was drained. I slept soundly and had difficulty wakening this morning. When I did my aches and pains had returned. (Source: 'schizophrenia' - a carer's journal)

Emptiness?

bipolar.and.me — Thu, 15 May 2008 16:24:00 +0100

Today is Mark's birthday, and I was SO tired (probably because of the Abilify), that I forgot to wish him a Happy Birthday before he left for work. I've called him several times, but he hasn't answered his phone. I need to bathe and go get him a card and something small. Perhaps be prepared when he gets home to go to dinner for a change....Finally Mark made his point last night, although I think he's made it before now. He said he doesn't like me "chatting" while playing the online game. I do giggle sometimes, but not always because of my "online friend". I don't think he appreciates it. Although he plays the game himself, he chats with NO ONE. Not a single person. But he's not a social person AT ALL. Does he suspect something may be happening? I don't know...maybe. He got a little irritated with me last night about it. I logged off around 8:30p - very early for me, but really only because my "online friend" was tired and logged off at the same time. Will this keep me from talking to my friend? I don't see how that could happen. If he DEMANDS I do no typing while I play, what am I supposed to do? I HAVE to talk to other players while I play - it's just part of the game for me. I do things in "groups", while he never does. This is SO NERDY, but I even have a wireless headset so I can talk to other players as we play instead of typing everything out. And yes, I've talked to my "online friend" during game play.I'm so very, very confused and lost, and just want things to be the way they should be. If they were, would I feel an emptiness in my life?The Abilify usually works VERY QUICKLY for me, within a few days I would say, and today is day #2 that I've taken it. I would expect to see results soon. I have worked much more today than slacking off like I normally do. I'm FORCING myself to do it. When I was DEEPLY depressed the last time, it worked in 2 days - seriously! I know it's supposed to be for mania, but it works the opposite for me for some reason.Not only that, but Abilify used to make me "restless", and I'm hoping that will carry over to playing the game. I'm hoping that I won't be able to STAND just sitting there playing a game for hours on end. I'll have to stop playing and get up and DO something for a change. (Source: bipolar.and.me)

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Witch's cauldron...

The 4th Avenue Blues — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:33:00 +0100

I have a big pot of titillating beef stew bubbling away like a witch's cauldron on the stove this morning. My house smells wonderful. I made enough to feed an army and will freeze most of it. Also, today I am making a pan of cornbread like my mother always made it. You heat the oil in an iron skillet till it is smoking and pour in the cornbread batter. It fries and makes a crunchy crust on the outside. This morning was my injection and that was routine. Tim, one of my fellow employees, picked me up and took me. I don't feel well enough to drive lately. I managed to talk Dad into giving me a little money for breakfast this morning. I ate up at Sarah Jay's getting the big breakfast platter with scrambled eggs, biscuits and gravy, sausage, buttery grits, and orange juice. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)

Slightly belated welcome

The Trouble With Spikol — Thu, 15 May 2008 15:22:22 +0100

(Source: The Trouble With Spikol)

Real

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 10:40:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Woe to the unrighteous

Apesma's Lament — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

From Chapter 22. Another Jeremiah gem courtesy my friend Donna. 13 "Woe to him who builds his palace by unrighteousness, his upper rooms by injustice, making his countrymen work for nothing, not paying them for their labor. 14 He says, 'I will build myself a great palace with spacious upper rooms.' So he makes large windows in it, panels it with cedar and decorates (Source: Apesma's Lament)

Leading bipolar disorder researcher refers to me as "doctor"

Furious Seasons — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

Some of you may recall that in late 2006 I wrote a series of posts casting doubt on some of the statistics in the BOLDER II trial of Seroquel. The trial was a part of the drug's approval for bipolar depression. You can read these posts here and here. As it turned out, I submitted a letter to the editor of the Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology, which published the study, asking for clarification of the statistics from Michael Thase, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh and lead author of the study. It took almost 18 months--man, academic publishing moves far too slowly in the Internet age--but I've received a copy of the letter and Thase's response. I thank Thase for his reply and the journal for publishing my query. It's fairly uncommon for a mere patient to have anything published in a medical journal. But perhaps I am a mere patient no more. In the letter, Thase writes: "The points raised by Dr Dawdy were the topic of a flurry of Internet commentary in 2006 and 2007 and are easily answered, at least on the surface." While I am not a doctor--and would never dream of playing one on TV--and my letter doesn't identify me as one, I'll take the compliment from Dr. Thase. I also thank him for his answer to my query. You can read the rest of the exchange on this .pdf (pages 23 and 24). I guess I now have to pen a letter to the journal clarifying the reference to me in his letter. Ah, the ironies of running a website. Speaking of ironies, this is the same Michael Thase who recently supported a study asserting that bipolar disorder in being overdiagnosed. (Source: Furious Seasons)

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America the medicated nation

Furious Seasons — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

A report out by Medco Health Solutions, a pharmacy benefits management company, claims that over half of all insured Americans are taking prescription drugs of some kind. That's the first time the percentage has ever passed 50 percent. The most commonly used drugs according to Medco were blood pressure and cholesterol drugs. That goes against what IMS Health reported earlier this year when its own figures showed that anti-depressants were the most widely used class of drugs in America. I assume they are looking at different datasets of drug use. I wasn't able to locate a copy of the Medco report. Anyhow, America has sure become a medicated nation and you can read this AP account of the report for opinions on what's driving all of this. Medill Reports dug into the data a bit more and found that psych meds were stars: "Nearly half of women ages 20 to 44 are being treated for a chronic condition, according to the research. Antidepressants are the most commonly used medication among this group, consumed by 16 percent of the demographic. "While 16 percent is a substantial statistic, more evaluation needs to be done to determine if this drug category is being properly prescribed, [Caleb] Alexander [University of Chicago expert] said. Many people are on antidepressants who do not need them, but ironically many people need to be on them who are not, he said, adding that advertising might have a role in overall increased prescription drug use." Sixteen percent is an extremely high number. Just as striking was a reported explosion of ADHD med use among girls: "For youth age 19 and under, the research ranks asthma and allergy drugs as the most commonly prescribed, followed by medications for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and antidepressants. The number of girls taking ADHD medication rose 72 percent from 2001 to 2007, a spike Alexander said is staggering. "'There’s no question that there is a subset of children … that require these [ADHD drugs],' Alexander said, 'but I think it’s a legitimate concern that some of these medicines may be overused in children to treat conditions that don’t truly represent a serious deviation from normal adolescence.'" Staggering doesn't even begin to describe that jump in ADHD med use amongst girls. (Source: Furious Seasons)

Sexual dysfunction on anti-depressants higher than thought, longer lasting

Furious Seasons — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

Thanks to CL Psych who flagged this issue the other day and posted one academic paper acknowledging that not only are there weird problems such as genital anesthesia--such a polite term--connected with anti-depressant use in some cases, but that the rate of sexual dysfunction on the happy pills isn't very happy at all. In fact, it's much higher than doctors have commonly assumed and than pharma companies have been willing to admit. There's a reason of course: admitting that taking Prozac, for example, could cause sexual dysfunction in a high percentage of cases would utterly crater sales. Let me offer a disclaimer before I dig into all of this: I am not denying that some people experience benefits from taking anti-depressants. I am not saying depression should not be treated. I am not looking for a fight on those fronts. I am simply raising some separate issues that should be of prime concern to anyone who takes or might take an anti-depressant and might want complete information about possible effects of taking these drugs. Classically, the pharma companies have admitted to dysfunction in 10 percent or fewer of cases (I can remember in the early 1990s reading some Lilly literature on Prozac that claimed a rate of less than 5 percent). I think it's generally accepted wisdom among anti-depressant users, current or former, that it's more like 30 percent. And maybe higher, according to this recent study by a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh: "In postmarket studies, clinicians have more systematically solicited information about SSRI-associated sexual problems such as lowered libido and difficulties with arousal or orgasm, via structured clinical interviews or validated sexual functioning questionnaires and found that they are present at dramatically higher rates, at frequencies as high as 98 percent. While these dysfunctions are very common, and while they typically endure for as long as the individual is taking the medication, it has been generally assumed that these side effects always resolve after discontinuing treatment." Apparently, such side effects don't ebb with discontinuation. That's kind of a problem. What's more, two case reports in the forthcoming Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology report on sexual problems generated by using Celexa (see pages 16 and 18 of this .pdf). In one case, a patient experienced episodes of spontaneous ejaculation. That's got to be a messy and sad situation. While I don't necessarily believe that sexual dysfunction occurs 98 percent of the time in anti-depressant use--if it did then the word on the street about the problem would be so loud that almost no one would take the drugs and it's clear that about 30 million people take these drugs each year--it's still fairly evident that these problems occur at rates well above 10 percent. Doctors have long told patients, "Oh, it won't happen to you" or words to that effect. They've also told patients that the effects of delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia and libido loss--two of the more common side effects--will go away once a patient is off that particular drug. Unfortunately, the Pitt study reports that this is not always the case and that some patients' sexual functioning never returns to normal. And, the researcher, Antonei Csoka, makes it clear that patients are not being told about this phenomenon. "It is important that patients are informed about the high probability of sexual side effects while on SSRI medications. It is worth noting that none of the three patients received adequate informed consent with regards to the known risks of sexual side effects, so as to be able to consider those risks in their decision to take the medications. Patients should also be told that there are indications that in an unknown number of cases, the side effects may not resolve with cessation of the medication, and could be potentially irreversible." It's absolutely imperative that doctors begin telling their patients about the potential for these problems as part of the informed consent process. I know doctors probably won't like the fact that these papers are being written by psychologists--who not only noticed these kinds of issues cropping up in therapy sessions, but have investigated the various Internet forums devoted to these issues--but it's time that they woke up to the fact that they are supposed to be serving their patients and not a treatment paradigm that refuses to acknowledge significant problems with anti-depressants. What's more, researchers need to actively begin researching these issues, especially in regards to long-term use, and stop acting like this isn't a problem. It would also be swell if they looked into how these drugs might effect the development of sexual function in children and teens who take these drugs. DISCLOSURE: So you all know my personal bias on this matter, here comes the full disclosure. I generally did not experience sexual side effects as a result of anti-depressant use with one exception worth noting. For a time, I experienced a complete lack of interest in sex while taking Prozac (very annoying in retrospect). Luckily, this problem ebbed with time. My experience with the other anti-depressants I've taken--Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Wellbutin, Lexapro and Luvox as well as those lovely anti-depressant adjuncts Risperdal and Seroquel--was more positive on this front. (Source: Furious Seasons)

Mich. judge tells young man to commit suicide

Furious Seasons — Thu, 15 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

I've run into stories over the years of judges saying remarkably stupid things to people in court, but this one utterly takes the cake: "Novi District Court Judge Brian MacKenzie said Wednesday his office still is looking into comments made April 10 by Judith Holtz. "Holtz had told Michael Robert Dickey of Farmington Hills that it would be cheaper, faster and less painful for the people who cared about him if he took his own life. "Court transcripts obtained by WXYZ-TV in Detroit show Holtz suggested Dickey jump from the roof of his house or slash his wrists as she chastised the 20-year-old for a third charge involving alcohol. He was being sentenced for being a minor in possession." That all kind of speaks for itself and is beyond outrageous. What amazes me is that this over a charge of being a minor in possession of alcohol, very small potatoes as the world turns. I hope the judge is disciplined both by the presiding judge of the court and the Michigan State Bar Association. (Source: Furious Seasons)

For that matter: psychiatry at it's worst

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 02:38:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

No one fights like i do

soulful sepulcher — Thu, 15 May 2008 01:52:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

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Responding to the ect discussion

The Trouble With Spikol — Wed, 14 May 2008 19:15:01 +0100

Sue Clark-Wittenberg, who I mentioned yesterday, wrote in and had this to say: Hi Liz, I am Sue Clark-Wittenberg the woman you're writing about in Canada. Electroshock always causes brain damage according to Dr. Harold Sackeim. He did an ECT study in 2007. Dr. Peter R. Breggin wrote an article called "Disturbing News for Patients and Shock Doctors" see www.breggin.com. His section called "blogs" and see this article. Also Dr. Breggin wrote a book called Electroshock: Its Brain Disabling Effects. See Leonard Roy Frank's quotationary at endofshock.com Google "Dr John Friedberg Testimony" a neurologist who talks about damage to the brain by ECT. I know what I am talking about. See other ECT websites: breggin.com banshock.org capa.oise.utoronto.ca icbe.wordpress.com capacanada.wordpress.com ect.org idiom.com/~drjohn/ect1.html mindfreedom.org Thanks, Sue, for writing in, and welcome to the site. I am familiar with the Sackheim study, Breggin's work and Friedberg's testimony, as are most of us who oppose the use of ECT. I've written extensively about the subject, and have always quoted those sources in the past. It's just ... I'd be grateful to hear from other voices, as these are the ones that always get cited. I will check out the websites that I'm not familiar with, as well. TTWS reader Jim Quinn wrote in to say the following: My mother and brother have both had ECT, repeatedly. It repeatedly rescued them from very severe psychosis. My mom had it back in the bad old days, when they used more current and no drugs. After a treatment in the 1990s, she reported that the procedure was much, much, MUCH improved. When you look at the horrible side effects of the available drugs, it seems to me that ECT looks like a pretty good option - especially when the drugs just don't work. I think much of the opposition to ECT is based on ignorance and hysteria; people wouldn't be so fearful of it if the opposition was more reasoned. Until we get much better drugs, we should be grateful that ECT is available to those who need it. But Mary Maddock, a shock survivor from Ireland, says: Even if a small percentage of people believe electro shock may do them good there are many, many others who believe their lives have been destroyed by electro shock. While it is still used as a from of 'help' many people will receive it as a 'treatment' even when they know it harms them. The easy profitable option such as electro shock and drugs will be used more and more for psycho/social difficulties when most people need other forms of support. Every person in a civilized world should have their basic needs: shelter, good food, a helpful job, love and companionship, fun, music, joy etc in their lives. We should be promoting these and doing our best to provide these for each other and then no one would have to resort to brain damaging 'helps' like electro shock. For those who are new to this site, this is exactly what I love about having a mental health blog -- generating discussions like this one with opposing points of view. Sometimes I stick my nose in and say what I think and sometimes I just moderate. The comments must first be "approved" because otherwise Viagra would post 100 comments a day, none of the relevant. Keep 'em comin', and I'll try to post them as soon as I get a free moment. Sorry if there's a delay. (Source: The Trouble With Spikol)

Back on abilify

bipolar.and.me — Wed, 14 May 2008 17:16:00 +0100

First of all, I ran out of Zyprexa and Geoden, and went a night without it. Yesterday, I felt kind of sick, had it refilled, and slept most of the late afternoon/early evening away.When I called to get refills, I had them refill my Abilify. What the heck? My online computer game usage is out of control, I have this online "friend" that I can't seem to shake the feelings I've developed, and need to gain some order back into my life. If Abilify isn't the answer, what is? I don't shower daily, I play the game constantly, hoping he'll come online, and waiting for him to say something to me. I've even become "moody" to him now. Sulky, up, down, whatever. He hasn't commented on it, but it just proves that I can't deal with it. I'm constantly pushing him away, then pulling him back. How many times have I said this now? I need to go to the beauty salon and get my hair done, get my eyebrows waxed, buy new clothes that actually fit so I'm not constantly wearing sweats, get new contacts, just ALL kinds of maintenance. I haven't even had my car, my new BMW, inspected, and it ran out in 1/08! Why isn't Mark asking me what's wrong? He'll make comments like "you only go out of the house once a year", or something like that. Am I depressed? I don't feel like I am. I don't cry, and I don't feel like crying. I just feel like PLAYING THE GAME. But that's a form of escape, right? What am I escaping from exactly? What is it in my life that I'm trying so desperately not to face?Mark hates his job and is pretty miserable about it. Perhaps that's why he hasn't said much about my state of mental health - he's in over his head himself. Tomorrow is his birthday, and I need to get him a card and a "token" for his birthday. He's already bought his big present, but I need to show I care.That means getting out of the house, though....God, PLEASE let the Abilify be the answer to all of these problems!!! (Source: bipolar.and.me)

Sorting it all out

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 16:37:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Ruby me

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:15:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Two more days of work done.

My life's Adventure — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

I worked Monday and Tuesday. I did not sleep Monday night. Yesterday was bad I was very tired and slept as soon as I got home from work. I did good work though. I had my year end review and... (Source: My life's Adventure)

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Looking at buying computer stuff but instead buying camping stuff and paying bills

My life's Adventure — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

I am still trying not to buy stuff. I just spent about twenty minutes surfing the web site of a local computer store realising they have very good prices for hard drives. I will be planning on buying there but... (Source: My life's Adventure)

Mad pride article gets more responses

Furious Seasons — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

A couple other voices on the 'Net have weighed in on Sunday's New York Times on folks with allegedly serious mental illnesses writing about such matters online. I wrote about the piece the other day. John Grohol at PsychCentral.com smartly critiques the article, especially its underlying set of assumptions about mental health care: "The article only refers to psychiatrists as being responsible for treating people with mental illness, which is an unfortunate oversight. Psychiatrists make up the smallest profession responsible for the treatment of mental illness — it would have been more balanced to refer to 'mental health professionals.' "The writer’s bias goes beyond only referring to psychiatrists in the article. She also apparently believes that mental disorders can only be treated by drugs (which is mentioned a few times in the article; psychotherapy is mentioned zero times): "'Mr. Oaks, who was found to be schizophrenic and manic-depressive while an undergraduate at Harvard, says he maintains his mental health with exercise, diet, peer counseling and wilderness trips — strategies that are well outside the mainstream thinking of psychiatrists and many patients.' "Really now? Having regular exercise, a good diet, and engaging in self-help support groups is “outside the mainstream thinking of psychiatrists” when it comes to maintaining good mental health and wellness? How does she know that? Did she survey them? "Of course not — this is the writer’s opinion creeping into the writing, and getting it 100% wrong." It's one of journalism's tragedies when a reporter doesn't place a call to someone who would be a good source for a story like this--Grohol in this case, who'd I'd wager knows a lot more about mental health writing on the 'Net than does Fuller Torrey. Meanwhile, the wonderful "flawedplan" at Writhe Safely absolutely lets rip: "Oh I can imagine an earlier me who would come away from that complete piece of shit grateful for the exposure and yay for recognition! But that column pissed off a lot of people in a number of ways I can relate to, beginning with its placement. I ask you, does this social stigma make my butt look too big? Because Gabrielle Glaser’s "Mad Pride Fights a Stigma" is in the Fashion & Style Section, it must be tres chic, don’tchaknow, the fight against prejudice and discrimination, just one more set of kooks aboard the pop cult bandwagon with their self-important, trendy and disposable cause. Sigh." And the buttkicking goes from there. (Source: Furious Seasons)

Teenage depressionland, circa now and then

Furious Seasons — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

SAMSHA--and I can never make myself type out that acronym--released results of a survey yesterday asserting that 8.5 percent of American teens experience a major depressive episode each year from 2004 through 2006. That loosely tracks with the national average among adults of about 7 percent. According to USA Today, 12.7 percent of teen girls experienced depression compared to 4.6 percent of boys (the SAMHSA study the paper links to doesn't break out the gender differences). That's fairly close to the adult dynamic also--i.e., depression affecting women more than men until later in life when it evens out. Not that it's a good thing. It's difficult to know what to make of these numbers. Are they better or worse or about the same as, say, 1995? Or earlier? As a depressed former teen circa 1980, I certainly remember my fair share of depressed and bummed out teens. We just didn't talk about it then or take medication for it and we seemed to get along probably about the same as teens do today. What would be interesting to know is how this rate has varied over time--the SAMSHA survey doesn't say and the agencies database isn't exactly friendly--because if you are making a big public health push on something like depression, then you'd like to know if you are getting any results. My loose guess is that things are about the same as they were at the dawn of the Prozac age. But that's a loose guess. (Source: Furious Seasons)

1,500th post

Furious Seasons — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

I'd just like to take this opportunity to let you all know that this is the 1,500th post on this site. That's kind of a landmark. To date, those 1,500 posts have gotten about 8,900 comments, or about 6 comments per post. Considering that not many people commented the first year or so that this site was in existence, that's purty good. Keep 'em coming. And thanks. Just for fun, this site's first post on Sept. 25, 2005 was gloriously entitled "Testing 1...2...3." Yes, it was a test post. (Source: Furious Seasons)

Seroquel approved as new lithium, depression next

Furious Seasons — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

AstraZeneca announced today the FDA has approved Seroquel, its $4 billion year in sales atypical antipsychotic, as a maintenance treatment for bipolar disorder used in conjunction with either Lithium of valproic acid (aka Depakote). Getting the drug approved as a maintenance treatment is tantamount to the FDA declaring it the new Lithium, the longtime "gold standard" maintenance drug for bipolar disorder. I congratulate AZ on getting this nasty little drug approved in such a way that they can now market it as a "forever" treatment and cannot wait to see the new ads. It's a drug the company has been researching for literally every condition under the sun--anxiety, depression, public speaking phobia, you name it--and it's now cropping up on America's streets as a drug of abuse, either snorted or mainlined. Nice. Ever nicer, one analyst interviewed by Bloomberg noted: "'Seroquel is increasingly being rolled out for additional indications and may, in due course, become the go-to product for depressive disorders,' Charles Stanley analyst Jeremy Batstone-Carr said in an e-mail." The go-to drug for depression? How about the stay-away-from drug for depression? Or the take-once-in-a-blue-moon drug for depression? Anyhow, Seroquel is set for FDA approval as a standalone maintenance treatment for depression and anxiety and I expect it to sail through the FDA approval process despite the fact that this drug really knocks people out. Good to those of you who take or will take this drug. (Source: Furious Seasons)

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Us government ignores human rights, injects immigration deportees with antipsychotics

Furious Seasons — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

This is an official holy-shit story from the Washington Post: "The U.S. government has injected hundreds of foreigners it has deported with dangerous psychotropic drugs against their will to keep them sedated during the trip back to their home country, according to medical records, internal documents and interviews with people who have been drugged." I first wrote about this phenomenon last October when the Los Angeles Times reported on similar doings in the LA area. I'll be blunt: what's going on here is a major human rights violation, regardless of what one thinks of immigration issues: "Involuntary chemical restraint of detainees, unless there is a medical justification, is a violation of some international human rights codes. The practice is banned by several countries where, confidential documents make clear, U.S. escorts have been unable to inject deportees with extra doses of drugs during layovers en route to faraway places." The paper reports that one detainee was given an injection of Haldol, one of the harshest psych meds there is, and Ativan, an anti-anxiety drug. Doping detainees on the Haldol absent a medical indication of schizophrenia is utterly barbaric--and it's pretty damn barbaric even with the proper indication. This practice, which disgusts me as an American, simply must stop. (Source: Furious Seasons)

Bipolar Mo — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

My mouth sores are gradually healing and I'm now being weaned off lentil soup onto semi-solids like macaroni cheese. Wow, soon I'll be almost as independent as a toddler. God I'm dying for some real food. I've been tired and lethargic all week spending much of the time sleeping. This is a real bummer as my wife is on holiday this week and we had planned to go away for a few days. Instead of a nice break in the highlands, she has been left to do the garden, shopping, etc. and nurse me in between.I haven't had a drink since last Thursday afternoon, almost a week. No shakes, no problems, not missing it at all, can't be arsed about anything in fact. Turned out I didn't even need the diazepam that much either, after 6 days I've still got 12 of the 21 left.We did manage to get out for a walk yesterday and I took a couple of photos before my camera packed in. Funny how things always go bad when it's bad. I've messed about with Photoshop for a while but I'm going back to bed now. I hope this is drug induced leucopenia and not the start of the summertime blues. (Source: Bipolar Mo)

Things fall apart

Apesma's Lament — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100

"Daddy's peeing out of his mouth," laughed Mica. "No he's not," defended Kay. "Yes he is! It's going into the toilet, so he's peeing." "No he's not!" "Yes he is!" The commentary of my five-year-olds raged back and forth as I sat on the side of the tub projectile vomiting for about the sixth time today. Nothing stays down. Even Pedia-lite. This has been one of the suckier days of my life. (Source: Apesma's Lament)

I know you

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 03:57:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:55:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

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Excuse me while i scream 3

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:12:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Excuse me while i scream 2

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:50:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Excuse me while i scream

soulful sepulcher — Wed, 14 May 2008 01:16:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

Happy birthday to me!!!

Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:03:00 +0100

Indeed, I turned 37 yesterday at 2:15pm CDT...take care all, and I'll post again later! :-) (Source: Weird Cake: Treats from a Bipolar Mind)

'schizophrenia' - a carer's journal — Tue, 13 May 2008 20:16:00 +0100

What happened on Friday just takes us back to square one with Sam's leave.We had been fighting so long to get his leave back after the events before Christmas. At last we got leave with him on our own again and ...it all goes wrong.So what next?Did Sam not realise the effect his actions would have? I believe not. He had certain imperatives going through his mind and just acted upon them. If he had been susceptible to reason then he wouldn't have gone off.But his actions had a huge impact on so many other people. He came back safely of his own volition - but after so much trouble for so many people. If we don't recognise this as well then the professionals will think we are living in cloud cuckoo land.However it is still the case that keeping Sam locked on a corridor with only short cigarette breaks in an outdoor cage as outdoor experience contributes to his mental illness. So where do we go from here?I spoke with Sam's psychologist from the Assertive Outreach team today. He wants to keep taking Sam out. I'm going to ward round tomorrow so I can pass on his views.Nobody on the ward has asked us what actually happened on Friday. I am only involved in discussions about his leave at ward round tomorrow because I "suggested" it might be helpful for me to be there. Perhaps they see it as so clear cut without even needing to know what happened. (Source: 'schizophrenia' - a carer's journal)

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Ect, canada, and saying the unthinkable

The Trouble With Spikol — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:44:37 +0100

Many people know I had ECT and it didn't work for me and I think the industry that promotes it is wildly corrupt and I'm deeply suspicious of its use. However, I must say that I have seen people respond to it -- especially those who have been catatonic or close to it. The procedure has had consistently popularity in Canada as well as the U.S. From this week's CBC News: A report in the Canadian Medical Association Journal last week shows the procedure is commonly used to treat drug-resistant depression in seniors. However, critics of the procedure believe its usage should be stopped, and it is a painful procedure that leads to brain damage. On Sunday, about a dozen protesters rallied in Ottawa, calling for a ban of the procedure. Protest organizer Sue Clark-Wittenberg had electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) 35 years ago, and says it has kept her from getting an education and a good job. "The bottom line is electroshock always damages the brain. Electroshock always causes memory loss," she says. I'm going to do something very out of character for me, and that is defend ECT just a wee little bit. First of all, though ECT is annoying, disruptive, headache-inducing and nauseating, it is not painful. It certainly was 35 years ago, when Clark-Wittenberg got ECT, but now -- with the use of IV drugs (yum ... drugs) -- no pain is involved. Also, the body does not violently convulse because it's in a state of drug-induced relaxation. So, though I dislike ECT, I can't say it's painful. It's not. As for brain damage, it depends how you define that. Do people who have epilepsy suffer brain damage each and every time they have a seizure? I don't know the answer to that because I'm not a doctor, but I wonder. Does memory loss always equal brain damage? Hey docs! Write and let me know. I know many of you will be surprised by this point of view coming from me. I'll tell you why. I know a woman -- let's call her Jane -- who was in her 70s and depressed. She had suffered one other clinical depression in her life, but had otherwise been fine. This time, the depression would not go away, despite endless rounds of medication combinations. Things got so bad, she was unable to leave her bed and had to be hospitalized simply to get the basics: food and hygiene. She was unable to talk, walk, eat, go to the bathroom, or otherwise function. She was inert. Her family was distraught. Her body was shutting down. Doctors pitched the idea of ECT. Naturally, everyone was very upset. Shock treatments? One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? The family was terrified. But what were the options? They were exhausted from watching her slip away. They were bereft. So they gave the go-ahead. And I bet you know the end of this story. Jane came back to life in a completely miraculous way. It took a little time --I'm not saying she was jumping around like Robert De Niro in Awakenings -- but the ECT saved her life. She came out of the hospital and is the same old Jane as she was before -- only without the depression. She's a delightful person who talks about that time in her life with complete wonder. It's hard for her to imagine it happened to her, though she did do maintenance ECT for about a year. Now she doesn't do it at all, and considers depression a ghost of her past. Or hopes it is, anyway. But if it comes back, she won't hesitate to do ECT again. It wasn't painful to her and her memory loss was, she says, a worthwhile sacrifice. So there you have it. An ECT success story from Liz Spikol! Despite criticism, electroshock therapy commonly used in depression [Pictured is a mouthguard sold by Somatics, one of the major ECT machine manufacturers. You wear the mouthguard when you have ECT.] (Source: The Trouble With Spikol)

Time lapse

soulful sepulcher — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:06:00 +0100

(Source: soulful sepulcher)

At what cost?

Treatment Advocacy Center — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:57:00 +0100

Serious mental illness cost the U.S. at least $193 billion a year in lost earnings, estimates a new study by the National Institute of Mental Health. This staggering figure just begins the scratch the surface of the financial toll schizophrenia and other serious illnesses cause.In fact, we know this study included very few people with schizophrenia. Nor did it access people in hospitals or prisons. The number is undoubtedly much, much higher. This leads to some obvious question:Why did a NIMH study leave these patients out?How much higher could the real figure be? Twenty percent? Fifty percent? Double?And, most importantly: At what cost do we as a nation get serious in providing access to treatment?The Treatment Advocacy Center (www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org) is a national nonprofit dedicated to eliminating barriers to the timely and effective treatment of severe mental illnesses. TAC promotes laws, policies, and practices for the delivery of psychiatric care and supports the development of innovative treatments for and research into the causes of severe and persistent psychiatric illnesses, such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. (Source: Treatment Advocacy Center)

Sorry!

The 4th Avenue Blues — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:32:00 +0100

Sorry for my outburst this morning. I am just not feeling well and tend to use the blog to vent. I feel badly and better at the same time for writing that post. Misery loves company as they always say, and I just don't want to be alone. I feel so alone these days. (Source: The 4th Avenue Blues)