MedWorm.com provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest items from the 'Head Nurse' source. Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:45:37 +0100 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/1111-90-years-ago.html In Flanders Fields the poppies grow Between the crosses row on row, That mark our place; and in the sky The larks, still bravely singing, fly Scarce heard amid the guns below.We are the Dead. Short days ago We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow, Loved and were loved, and now we lie In Flanders fields.Take up our quarrel with the foe: To you from failing hands we throw The torch; be yours to hold it high. If ye break faith with us who die We shall not sleep, though poppies grow In Flanders fields. And one for Canela Cruz, in Iraq now...AshbahThe ghosts of American soldierswander the streets of Balad by night,unsure of their way home, exhausted,the desert wind blowing trashdown the narrow alleys as a voicesounds from the minaret, a soulful callreminding them how alone they are,ho... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1951825 Tue, 11 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1951825 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/what-i-cook-on-my-day-off-when-i-have.html It's been raining buckets all day. Just now it's raining double-buckets, which makes me glad that I have a cold and the next two days off. The cold isn't bad, really; I've been taking loads of zinc, which really does seem to help hold off the worst of the symptoms.I also have a loaf of bread and a pot of soup. Therefore, the recipes:Nurse Jo's When-You-Have-A-Cold, Clean-Out-The-Fridge Soup1 small box chicken or vegetable broth1 normal-sized can of diced tomatoes in juice1 normal-sized can of red kidney beans, drained and rinsedDump all of these into a big pot. In a skillet, saute without browningA half of a fist-sized yellow onion, diced A couple of cloves of garlic, minced (I use, like, six; but I'm weird)A couple of stalks of celery, de-stringed (you do this by breaking the tops off an... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1947123 Mon, 10 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1947123 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/what-hell-is-wrong-with-you-people.html Quick update: My folks are apparently in Mexico and are fine. Uh...okay.Now, then: What the hell is WRONG with you people? Are you all mad as a sack of badgers? Where the hell do you get off? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, you guys?I mean, really. Do not (I repeat, do not) start a fistfight with your relative in your elderly and ill other relative's hospital room. If you do, I will be forced to call the police. And the po-pos, having dealt with your lousy self already, will not be happy that they have to come break that shit up.Again.Also, do not piss and moan and complain until I move heaven and earth to find an interpreter that speaks the same language as your patient from Furthest Backobeyondistan, then fail to show up at the hospital, or even return your pages, after I find the one person in t... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1947124 Sun, 09 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1947124 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/james-james-morrisons-motherseems-to.html Has anybody seen my parents? If so, could you please contact me and let me know they're okay? I'm afraid, what with the outcome of this election, that they've decided to move somewhere more right-wing without telling Beloved Sister and me.*** *** *** *** ***Max has learned to bay.He's made great friends with an extremely wiggly, extremely friendly half-grown Basset hound down the street (whose owners are kind enough to let her off-leash to come visit him) and has learned her tricks.Given that she's a bass and he's more tenor-to-alto in his baying, it makes for a funny duet. You hear the lower, deeper dog noise and expect that Max would be making it, but instead it's Gretchen The Basset. Max is the one whining and whickering in a high voice and baying way up, an octave above Gretchen's bay... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1939015 Thu, 06 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1939015 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/when-code-doesnt-work.html Everybody loses patients. Everybody remembers the patients they lost--maybe not by name, or even by face, but you remember. Every patient who dies leaves a little hole in you.The first one is the worst for most people. And it's bad enough when it's a patient who's been shifted to comfort care; it's worse when it's a failed code. When you walk into a room to find a person, who was fine half an hour or an hour before, is just plain dead, it's shocking. Codes are shocking, too, in their violence and their (usual) pointlessness.That happened to a coworker of mine the other day. Her patient had been fine and stable and cheerful all shift long and had laid down to take a nap near the end of the shift. He was scheduled to go home the next day. When she made her last put-'em-to-bed rounds of the d... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1939017 Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1939017 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/housekeeping-note.html I've deleted a couple of links.They were to blogs that were, for the most part, much more conservative politically than I am. It's not because the authors are conservatives that I deleted them; I agreed with those authors more often than you'd think, and on a wider variety of issues.The reason I've deleted the links is this: in the aftermath of the Presidential election, the comments sections of those blogs, including comments left by the authors of the blogs, contained some of the most vicious, mean-spirited, and even out-and-out racist shit I've ever read. I understand that Republicans and other conservatives must be angry and disappointed as hell right now. If Obama had lost, I would probably still be in bed, planning only to nurse a hangover and learn French prior to my move to Montre... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1939016 Wed, 05 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1939016 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/blog-post.html (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1933156 Tue, 04 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1933156 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/is-there-physicist-in-house.html You remember, I'm sure, the high school physics demonstration of the space/time continuum and how gravity affects both space and time. It's the one that uses a rubber sheet and balls of varying sizes and weights.Your teacher (or the guy on the public-access cable channel who had sticky-up white hair and a bad lab coat) stretched the rubber sheet tight to illustrate space/time. Then she (or he) dropped a marble or a tennis ball or a bowling ball into the middle of it, and the sheet bent around the ball. Right? You with me so far? After that first object was dumped into the sheet, everything that came after gravitated toward the heaviest thing on the sheet, remember?So here's my theory: a patient arriving from post-op or directly from admissions has the same effect on the space/time continuu... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1930209 Tue, 04 Nov 2008 05:00:00 +0100 1930209 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/11/saying-goodbye.html Today I loaded Strider into the car.We drove east along a little state highway. Over the lake, across the creek, past the McCain/Palin billboard, up and down the hills where the oaks are just turning color. The sky is cloudless and blue today, and Strider had his nose out the window when he wasn't resting his head on my arm.When we got to the place where I had gone to pick him up six months ago, he got very excited. He greeted his foster mom by rearing up and putting his front paws on her shoulders, then bending down to lick her face. She was thrilled at how beautifully his coat had come in, and how all the mange he'd had was gone. I was glad to see that he still remembered the person who'd held him on her lap (all 80 pounds of him, at the time!) and sung to him when he was so sick with pn... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1926404 Sat, 01 Nov 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1926404 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/what-i-cook-on-my-day-off-thank-god-its.html Maybe next year I'll have a So Happy It's Summer edition, too.Today the low was 33. Wahoo! The guy on the radio mentioned that it would be a chilly day, with highs only in the low 70's. Everybody in Colorado and Minnesota is laughing right now. Everybody in Maine and North Dakota is crying.So today I cooked a pot pie. Pot pies are easy and basic: all you need is a sauce and some biscuit dough to go over the top of whatever you put in the sauce. You can make 'em with a cream-based sauce and chicken and call it chicken pot pie, or use leftover stew meat and a thickened beef broth and call it shepherd's pie. Here are the very basic basics of the dish:First, preheat your oven to 400 (200C or Gas Mark 6) and butter a  9" x 13" pan (largish; I don't know what the metric equivalent is).For the s... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1901438 Thu, 23 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1901438 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-heee-gasp-wiping.html (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1888985 Sun, 19 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1888985 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/monday-morning-remedy.html (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1888984 Sun, 19 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1888984 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/carnival-of-crackpots.html Once, many years ago, I read a book called Letters to Ms. It had selections from the first ten years of the magazine's editorial letters, divided into sections like "Praise", "Criticism" and "Crackpots". In the introduction, the editor told the story of how Gloria Steinem once got a postcard accusing her of being a "Commie witch bitch lesbo...who sleeps with n$#*%*#s. Isn't that just like a Jew?" Ms. Steinem reportedly pinned the postcard up in her office to remind her of what she was doing right.May got an interesting comment the other day about how female nurses are perverts who grope unconscious male patients. It was, of course, in all caps. No other content, either; apparently the crackpot who sent that one in had only that to say.And I get the occasional crackpot as well. It's not eno... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1879819 Wed, 15 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1879819 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/morning-drama.html Max somehow rolled under my very low platform bed while he was asleep last night:Those are his paws sticking out from under the bed.When he woke up and decided he wanted to get up, there was much whimpering and scrabbling of paws until I went and lifted the bed off of him. Even lying down on his stomach, he's taller than the bottom of the bed, which presented some problems. Poor guy. Meanwhile, there's Strider:I can haz chiropractor? (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1870664 Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1870664 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/buzzclick-buzzclick.html Manglement has rolled out a New Plan for us.It involves, as do so many things that Manglement thinks up, Customer Service.See, Manglement recently discovered the Intertubes. They learned, much to their shock and awe, that people go online on the Innerweb to see what sort of ratings hospitals and doctors get. It's not just which hospital is covered by your insurance package any more, no sir; it's the Customer Service rating of said hospital that might just determine where you go.So Manglement came up with a way for us to improve our Customer Service Performance. Wait for it: it's going to knock your non-skid socks off:The members of The Healthcare Team are to make hourly rounds.No, no. I'm not joking. Doesn't matter who does it: nurse's aide, nurse, physical therapist, respiratory therapist... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1853565 Sun, 05 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1853565 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/interesting-email-i-got.html There's an interesting article up at Nursing Degrees about what drives nurses out of the profession. Here 'tis:http://www.onlinenursingdegrees.org/nursingfacts/reasons-why-nurses-quit.htm (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1852534 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1852534 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/10/housekeeping-its-good-thing.html Why, yes, I changed the format. I'm so glad you noticed. Do you like the little nurse up in the corner? I do. That's a candid photo a coworker took of me as I swanned from room to room this past week, dispensing oral Dilaudid and love to all my patients.This new Blogger template is so easy to use that I've decided to stop being a rebel Luddite and actually add things like tags and updated links to the blog. So, in the next few weeks, you'll be seeing some changes:1. New, updated links to blogs like Macho Nurse and Cooking Nurse. 2. Tags! It's hard, when you're looking for a mac-and-cheese recipe or Rules For Residents, to have to wander back through the archives and read post after post, hoping you'll hit the right one.3. Some form of organization for the archives. I've not looked into th... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1850972 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1850972 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/09/blog-post.html (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1825575 Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1825575 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/09/in-which-auntie-jo-loses-it-and-levels.html Y'know how everybody has pet peeves? And how those pet peeves are totally incomprehensible to the rest of the world? My pet peeve (this week; it might be different later) is bad writing.Not that I consider myself a great prose stylist, or anything, but dayum. I mostly avoid the worst breaches of English writing. Mostly. This is not something I could say about a lot of stuff I've been reading lately, both online and in print. Thus, here follows a list of the things that make Auntie Jo get out the wire hangers and start screaming about pronouns:1. No more passive voice--EVER!I don't recall where I saw it, but I ran across the phrase "Birth was given to the idea..." and immediately stopped reading. "Birth" is never "given" to anything. One can give birth, or one can be born, but for Frog's sa... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1770455 Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1770455 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/09/this-is-fun.html Very Good Taste posted a list of 100 things every omnivore should eat. You're supposed to go through it and mark what you've eaten, to see where you stand when compared with the ideal.Here 'tis....1. Venison*2. Nettle tea*3. Huevos rancheros*4. Steak tartare*5. Crocodile (I've eaten alligator. Does that count?)*6. Black pudding*7. Cheese fondue*8. Carp*9. Borscht*10. Baba ghanoush*11. Calamari*12. Pho*13. PB&J sandwich*14. Aloo gobi*15. Hot dog from a street cart*16. Epoisses17. Black truffle*18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes*19. Steamed pork buns*20. Pistachio ice cream*21. Heirloom tomatoes*22. Fresh wild berries*23. Foie gras*24. Rice and beans*25. Brawn, or head cheese26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper (only once, and to my great distress)*27. Dulce de le... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1750083 Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1750083 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/how-experienced-nurse-are-you-take-this.html A patient arrives on your unit with the following list of allergies:Hydrocodone, codeine, morphine, Demerol, Zofran, Reglan, beef, iodine, tomatoes, Provera, Lupron Depot, acetaminophen, ASA, wheat products, soy, synthetic estrogens, Benadryl, corticosteroids, epinephrine, ketorolac, Ultram, metoprolol, oral potassium, oxygen, Lipitor, fenfluramine, PCN and analogues, mycins, Trazodone, Haldol, allopurinol, Lithium, and Lasix.Your response is:A. "Gosh, this person has a lot of medical issues. I'd better get to researching the possible side effects of the other drugs I might give them!"B. "Gosh, this person must be obese, bipolar, and have hypertension and diabetes. Drag-O."C. "Hmm. The only two drugs NOT on that list are Dilaudid and Phenergan. Also, oxygen? What, he breathes methane at ho... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1739066 Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1739066 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/ah-shock-of-role-transition.html Somebody, I don't remember who now, with a glass of wine in me, asked what I would say to the newbies who are having the SHOCK of ROLE TRANSITION as they go from being a student to being a new grad/new nurse/newbie.Honestly? All I remember from the first months of nursing practice is this: I prayed every day that I wouldn't kill somebody, and I felt horribly alone.Both those feelings, it turns out, were bogus. Like, "Boh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-GUS!!" the way Tom and Ray say it on "Car Talk". Bogus, like we never imagined it could be in the 80's. Bogus, like carob is to chocolate, or Cool Whip is to whipped cream.Being a newbie is *hard*. It's almost as hard as nursing school in that the amount of information you have to absorb is huge; it's just more focused. Being a newbie is scary, in that you d... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1729349 Sat, 23 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1729349 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/neat-o-site-and-question.html In reverse order.First, for those of you who work in hospitals/clinics/whatever that require uniforms or particular scrub colors: Does your facility provide any sort of scrub allowance for employees? (Nursing students, sorry, but I just want the working RNs/aides/PTs/OTs/secretaries etc. to answer this one.) Do you have particular scrub shops where you can get an extra discount? How about folks coming to the facility itself to sell scrubs? Tell me all about it.Now, for those of you *looking* for scrubs, here's a site which has--hurrah!--coupon codes! One of the very pleasant founders emailed me the other day and asked that I put it up. Find Nurse UniformsWhy this theme in particular? Because Sunnydale General has decided to go to a choice of scrub colors, all of which are hideous, beginni... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1713908 Mon, 18 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1713908 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/im-good-enough-im-smart-enough-and.html So...new nursing students. How y'all feeling right now? Classes start in, what, three weeks? Two?Got your shoes ready? Got your pens and pencils? Paper? Xanax? Good.Following is a list of tips drawn from what I remember of my own school experience, back when the earth was still cooling:1. You are smart enough to get through this. You got in, right? That's no small task in a field where there are anywhere from 30 to 200 applicants for every slot in nursing school. Rest assured that if you were smart enough to get in, you will be smart enough to finish--and finish *well*--provided you remember one thing:2. This may be the hardest work you've ever put in in your life.I've heard from doctors who became nurses and nurses who became doctors that nursing school is harder than med school by a cou... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1709039 Thu, 14 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1709039 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/handmaidens-helpmeets-and-problem-of.html There's a lot of discussion about the OMGWTF Nursing Shortage and of how to get younger, more diverse folks into nursing. What I've seen lately proposed as solutions make sense, but they don't get to the root of the problem: Nurses are seen as handmaidens and helpmeets to doctors rather than as scientific professionals in their own right, who often practice with a surprising degree of autonomy.Two illustrations of that, from the educational angle: I have a colleague who never fails to mention that she finished pre-med school at the top of her class, passed the MCAT, and was accepted to medical school, but took to nursing as a sort of Med-Lite second-best when she decided she wanted to have kids and a husband. Further back, when I was starting nursing school, every single dadratted classmat... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1709040 Wed, 13 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1709040 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/if-dogs-wrote-personal-ads.html MATURE, DIGNIFIED male seeks calm and loving partner for long walks on the beach, quiet evenings at home, and belly rubs. I am h/w proportionate, have a full head of reddish-brown hair (no grey yet!) and keep my nails carefully trimmed. I enjoy soft music, good food, relaxing times together, and the occasional snack. Write MAX, box XXXX.**** **** **** **** **** ****ATHLETIC BLOND seeks energetic friend for adventures! Interests include property destruction, digging in the dirt, scratching my own back, tearing up shit, property destruction, barking, running around in circles, shedding, property destruction, and (if I'm given the chance) desecration of the world's most sacred archaelogical sites. Call me! Come on! Come on! C'monc'omonc'mon! Let's go run around together!!! BOOF!! to STRIDER, ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1696138 Mon, 11 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1696138 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/i-dont-give-damn-bout-no-stinkin-dogs.html (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1696139 Sun, 10 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1696139 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/jolly-green-gumball.html A tip for those of you who bought a swimsuit prior to starting weightlifting:It won't fit any more.Several years ago, prior to meeting Atilla The Cheerleader, I bought a swimsuit. It's green, with a square neck. It fit three years ago and looked okay, actually.Then I got lats. And shoulders. And pectoral muscles. And my legs went all square and muscle-y, and I got biceps. The belly's still there, but I look more fit.And the swimsuit? Holy lord, it *so* does not fit any more.Square-neck suit + big lats + impressive shoulders + pecs that are things of beauty = Jolly Green Gumball.I have ordered a plain black V-neck from Land's End. Humph. (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1693628 Sat, 09 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1693628 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/panic-ur-doin-it-wrong.html I know this sounds impossible, but our hospital has been on Disaster OMGWTF Footing for the last month.Yes, fiends and neighbors, the last month.Disaster is usually reserved for, you know, actual disasters. Like plane crashes. And hurricanes. And, I dunno, maybe huge leaks of refrigerant, or bioactive compounds from some horrible lab somewhere that're turning everybody into bunny-hopping happy zombies with bad 80's hair.Or the air conditioning going out. That's also a disaster. But anyway. We've been on Disaster Footing, with Code Whatevers that Signify An Internal Disaster, daily except for weekends.Why, you ask? Because of a computer glitch. Scheduling is all fucked up, is the short answer. Somebody somewhere has been transitioning to some wonderful computer system that's going to be al... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1692138 Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1692138 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/pictures-for-those-that-wants-em.html Strider, looking sweeter than he actually is:Max, my snugglebunny strudel-noodle:You can see why I'm considering trading in the Accord for a Honda Fit. (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1682957 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1682957 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/585-posts-time-for-fluffitude.html Notable Links I Enjoy, By Jo...Style Spy: A fashion blogger from just down the street. I envy her life, her pumps, and her friend Plumcake's Cadillac.Your Pharmacist May Hate You: Drugmonkey doesn't know this yet, but I'm going to carry him off on my hot-pink, nitro-fueled Vespa.Blomma Finds: Things to lust over for the home.Shedworking: A UK blog on sheds. Go ahead, check it out. Lust for things for your garden.fisforfrank: I cannot say enough good things about these folks. I stumbled on their Etsy store while I was looking for knobs for the kitchen cabinets, and ended up buying almost all my knobs from them (a few pulls came from other sources). The knobs are like tiny pieces of sculpture and are reasonably priced, because the quality is so very high. If you're looking for something to d... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1682956 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1682956 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/its-pun.html Hello to everybody who navigated here from the LA Times!You won't, unfortunately, find any advice on how to be a "head", or charge, nurse. Nor will you find anything resembling Penthouse Forums. Nor will you find anything on that foam that rises to the top of a glass of beer (well, you might, but it's not the theme of the blog). It's *Head* Nurse. Neuroscience. Like, head-brains-neuroscience? Pun? Got it?Head Nurse. Neuroscience. Brain on top, spine down the back. You may laugh now. Yeah, everybody makes that mistake. You would not *believe* some of the comments I have to reject.Original mention here. (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1679340 Tue, 05 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1679340 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/good-advice.html When you're driving down the highway and somebody passes you going eight zillion miles an hour, check your rearview mirror--there's always a second one following.A little loose powder dusted under your lower eyelashes will keep your mascara from smearing.Hang all bags and place all pumps so you can see them from the door of the room.Buy ten pairs of socks, all the same color, for work. That way you can match socks in the dark.If you're starting an IV on a frail little old person with prominent veins, don't use a tourniquet. Just drop the arm over the side of the bed and let the vein engorge that way. You won't blow the vein when you flush the IV.The heaviest bell peppers contain the most seeds, and the largest avacados have the biggest pits.If you're mixing Mucomyst and Coke for oral admin... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1676972 Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1676972 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/08/holy-freakin-kamole-it-is-too-damned.html A hundred and six outside Casa Del Thank God For Airconditioning, friends. That's what it is today. Ah, nothing like that dry, baking Texas heat in the summertime, except for when it's a hundred and six outside with humidity of seventy-four percent.This time of year, all I eat (seems like) is peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and water. And frozen veggies, straight out of the bag, applied to temples, wrists, and ankles.When I was in Seattle two weeks ago, it was sunny and 75. And everybody I ran into, from the barmaid at the fish bar to the cashier at Archie McPhee, started the conversation with something like, "Gosh, isn't it hot? I can't stand this heat." Given that the low that morning at the Dallas airport was a full ten degrees warmer than Seattle's high, I was not inclined to be sym... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1676973 Sat, 02 Aug 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1676973 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/07/happy-birthday-mom.html This is actually a day early, as my time off ends tomorrow. *sigh*My Mom will be seventy years old tomorrow, July 16th. Hooray!People who lived to be 70:1. Methuselah (969)2. Benjamin Franklin (84)3. Helen Keller (88)4. Florence Nightengale (90)5. George Burns (100)People who did not live to be 70:1. Jesus (33?)2. Mozart (35)3. Eva (Uncle Tom's Cabin, age 6?)4. Rumwold (Anglo-Saxon saint, aged 3 days in 662)5. Amelia Earhart (42)Things that happened in July, 1938:1. Steam locomotive "Mallard" (Hi, Dad!) sets land speed record of 126 mph.2. Wrong Way Corrigan takes off on the 18th, heading (he thinks) for California. Later, he lands in Ireland. Wups.3. Mauthausen concentration camp built (eesh.)4. Two barns were destroyed by fire near Sheboygan.5. Brian Dennehy was born (actor).If you searc... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1625577 Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1625577 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/07/and-now-for-something-completely.html or, That Didn't Work At All.Some time ago, right after I moved in here, I bought some great midcentury modern wallpaper to put in the kitchen. The kitchen project was stalled until this week, when I had a few extra days off work.So down came the horrible masonite on the walls. I taped and mudded and sanded and primed and put up the first wall's worth of paper.The Kitchen said, "What the hell do you think you're doing?I replied, "Putting up wallpaper. What does it look like I'm doing?"The Kitchen snapped, "I hate that stuff. Take it down right the hell now."ME: Buuuhhh...buuuhhh....I like this wallpaper!KITCHEN: *I* don't. I'm not Midcentury Modern, you idiot; I'm Postwar Cute!ME: Uh...there's a difference?KITCHEN: Well, duuuuhhh. Yeah.ME: So what's Postwar Cute?KITCHEN: Take a look at me, ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1622099 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1622099 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/07/can-we-just-print-this-out-post-it-on.html You know it's going to be a bad day when you walk in and somebody immediately calls a code.Except this one wasn't a code. It was, technically, a "Rapid Response Team" situation, but given that the patient ended up intubated and 100% ventilated, it was a code. But I'm getting ahead of myself.A lot of families hate the idea of signing a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) on Grandpa or Grandmother. They think that a DNR means "Do Not Treat" or "Ignore" or "Hasten the Death Of" rather than what it actually means.To wit: Grandpa was not in the best of shape when he came to us X days ago. He'd had two major ischesmic (clotting) strokes and a large, horrible bleed in his brain and was breathing irregularly and gaspingly when he was delivered to us by a relieved ambulance crew. Grandpa hadn't moved on his o... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1582926 Sun, 06 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1582926 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/07/product-reviews-shit-that-works-like.html It's been a while since I've done one of these. Therefore, without further ado, Shit That Works Like It's Supposed To:1. Cline Vineyards Viognier, 2007I've only ever tasted Becker Vineyards' (just down the road! Try the lamb!) viognier before, and found it a little on the sweet side. Cline Vineyards is a California establishment that produces a semi-dry viognier with a nice, peachy aftertaste that also includes a little oak and some citrus. It's good for drinking when the temperature is, say, 102* for the fifth stinkin' day in a row.2. MyChelle Fruit Fiesta Facial PeelThe blog on which I read the first review of this product mentioned "vat of acid" and "having my face used as a pinata at a school for wayward children". I didn't find it all that difficult to endure, but then, late-thirties ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1575410 Thu, 03 Jul 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1575410 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/06/odds-and-ends.html Things not to do:Show up tanked on the day of surgery.No matter how nervous you are about having brain surgery, it's probably best not to appear at the hospital at 6 am completely schnockered. It'll require a delay in the start time. Yank the spike out of a REALLY big bag of fluid.You all know that I am Genius Incarnate when it comes to being clumsy in new and creative ways. In the past, I've spilled most of the contents of the pharmacy on myself...but I reached a new high recently when I accidentally yanked the spike out of a three-liter bag of saline that was hanging at about head-level.No, I don't want to talk about it any further. Thank you.Sell drugs out of your hospital room.Calling security is a pain in the ass. Could you not wait until you got home to make some extra bank?Attempt ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1543144 Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1543144 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/06/two-questions.html First, which one of you smart-alecks sent me the subscription to Glamour?It was in my mailbox today. Ha, ha, ha. Very funny. (*golf clap*)Second, who has recommendations for dog training books? Strider is apparently even younger than his rescue foster thought and is a total doofus. He needs training before he puts on that 20 lbs. he needs. Sheesh.Daily Strider Tidbit: He has what I'm now calling the Strider Boing: It's a move where he leaps straight up in the air, all four paws off the ground at once with his spine parallel to the ground (so he's not on his hind legs, if you see what I mean). He gets a good 30 inches of vertical air under those paws. This move is usually accompanied by a basso profundo BOOF! and can be seen in moments of great excitement, like when Brownian motion occurs o... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1526109 Mon, 16 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1526109 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/06/meet-strider.html No, not that one.I picked up a very sweet, very very very large dog yesterday from a very very very kind woman who fosters Pyrenees and other large dogs.Strider is a close-to if not pure-bred Anatolian shepherd. I wanted a dog who was calm, athletic, not inclined to hysterics, and large enough for Max, the German/Anatolian cross who rules the back yard, to play with. Strider met all of those qualifications, plus he has a very sweet face.So off I went in the Honda, not knowing what to expect. Strider had been picked up in Houston and had spent some time in a really awful kill-shelter there. He had mange, pneumonia, heartworms, had been underfed, and generally wasn't in the best of shape when he got rescued. The woman who fostered him has done an amazing job: he's healthy, healing, and not t... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1522043 Sun, 15 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1522043 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/06/strider-day-two.html Scene: The back yard, morningSTRIDER: Dude. What *is* that thing?MAX, yawning: Lawnmower.STRIDER: What's it do?MAX: Shortens the grass so we get better back-skritches.STRIDER, examining lawnmower from all angles: Is it dangerous?MAX, rolling on back: Just stay away; you'll be fine.STRIDER: ....Okay. I guess I can't herd it. *sigh*Scene: The living room,  afternoonMAX: Don't go there, man. I'm warning you. I've tried it.STRIDER: Aw, c'mon. It's cute and fuzzy! What harm could it do?KITTY-CAT: I'll kill ya! I'll kill ya! I'll taste blood! Murder! DIE! DIE!! DIE DIE DIEDIEDIE!!!(KITTY-CAT swipes at STRIDER with claws out.)STRIDER: Holy shit, dude! She's got needle-paws!MAX: Told you. You can't win with that one. It's crazy.Scene: The back yard, nightfallMAX: Doh dee doh doh dum dee dah dum d... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1522042 Sun, 15 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1522042 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/06/my-family-problem-solvers.html So, my uncle. Nice man. Hunts and fishes, but eats what he kills. Raises good dogs and raised two good kids. The sort of grandfather you'd want for your child, you dig? Goes to baseball games, can fry a mean catfish, has a good sense of humor. Sober, steady, church-going. I've never heard him raise his voice and have only heard of one time (and this was hearsay) when he used a naughty word, and that was "hell". Or "damn"; I don't really recall which.My uncle. My Beloved Mother's baby brother, the one who loves Chefboy and is never in a bad mood? That one?Sent a cosh.A real, live, spring-handled, lead-ended, leather-wrapped cosh. As in, I'm not entirely certain this is legal within city limits cosh. Eight inches long, weighs about two pounds, makes a satisfying and painful thwap when you wh... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1508285 Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1508285 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/05/gracious-snakes.html I post, I go to bed. I wake up earlier than God, and bang! Six comments in six hours.Strike a nerve, much?Some study I Googled last night said that 430,000 nurses report that they're victims of violence or intimidation on the job every year, and that that number is likely low due to under-reporting. Seems that a lot of nurses think that getting clocked or yelled at is just part of the business of being a nurse, and that some managers think it's whiny if you report being a victim of violence.Hm.You know, what pisses me off most about last night, is this: (well, two things, actually)First, that the first-line person, my manager, did not automatically go to bat for me. Instead of laying out ground rules, he attempted to perform some weird magical act of conflict resolution that would somehow ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1469628 Tue, 27 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1469628 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/05/this-customer-service-bullshit-has-got.html Normally, I never post immediately on coming home from work. I'm too frazzled, too scattered, and unable to complete a spoken sentence, let alone a written one.Today, though, it's different. Today, for the fourth or fifth time in as many years, I had a patient take a swing at me. What's different about today is that this particular patient was alert, oriented, knew where he was and what he was doing, and was trying to hurt me.This patient was the typical Sunnydale Hospital* frequent-flier: pages and pages of old charts, all of them with extra pages attached from nurses who'd had run ins with him. The documentation was complete and careful and clear: this particular person was a nutjob. No way 'round it; he had enough baggage for the Rolling Stones on tour.His course was also typical: nonco... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1469629 Mon, 26 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1469629 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/05/butt-tufts-and-other-hazards-of.html Or, what I do on my day off.Max is shedding. Among those of us with double-coated dogs, there's a less-polite, more-descriptive term: "Blowing the coat". Max is blowing his coat.Yesterday it was close to 100* here. In one day, Maximus Doggitude went from looking like a gentleman, albeit a shaggy one, to looking like he'd earned the nickname "Banjo" by living under a bridge for six months. My neighbors, who live with a good-natured pug and a corgi who never ventures outside except under duress, were amazed to see me pulling handfuls of hair out of Max's coat, especially on his hindquarters. Anatolian shepherds, being a mountain breed, tend toward large poofs of fur to keep their hrbls warm in the winter. Max's hrbl frbls were out of control.Doggie dreadlocks, only six days after his last in... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1460933 Wed, 21 May 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1460933 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/04/take-that-work-frustrations.html This post was going to be titled "When Morons Attack".But I ran a mile.Then I lifted weights.Then I stretched. And did some yoga.And now I'm cheerful and warm and relaxed and no longer concerned with morons. Instead, I think I'll go buy some doggie nail-clippers and then hang out with Max for the rest of the day. (Source: Head Nurse) Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1409703 Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1409703 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/04/spring-sprang-sprung.html This is the time of year when it's hard to go to work. The weather is beautiful, the birds are singing (did you know male mockingbirds will sing all night long in search of a mate? They will. Especially the ones in my back yard), Max is wanting belly-rubs, there are music festivals and art shows outside in the sun, and I'm stuck inside with patients with disseminated vasculitis and brain stem tumors and stupid, stupid families.The past few weeks have been a sojurn in the Land of the Tiny-Brained.For instance, if you have a family member with a fistula that communicates between esophagus and trachea, and that person is unable to swallow in the first place, and has a tracheostomy to make it possible for them to breathe without choking, and the nurse has said six times in the last three hours... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1392495 Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1392495 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/04/day-in-life.html Getting Better All The TimeThere's been an outbreak of what I'm convinced is norovirus at work. Norovirus is That Nasty Stomach Bug family of viruses--the sort of bug that incubates in a day or so and takes a day or two to resolve. Since all nurses work some degree of sick most or all of the time, it makes sense that something that could only be eradicated by bleach and scrubbing might be lurking in the viral soup that is our hospital.My turn was yesterday. I was pretty damned puny, but Chef Boy brought over bread and ginger ale, and I ate soup and laid on the couch, making noises like the cartoon woman in the introduction to "Mystery!" Today I am better, though not enough better to, say, climb the Matterhorn or work out. I shall (she says, determinedly) finish the laundry and nap.Sky of B... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1373423 Tue, 15 Apr 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1373423 http://head-nurse.blogspot.com/2008/03/how-to-have-good-stay-in-hospital-or.html Driving your nurse crazy, in three hundred eighty four thousand, six hundred forty-two easy steps.*Adopt a lofty tone. Nobody here will remember how important you are. Therefore, it's crucial that you remind them at every possible opportunity. Condescend as often as possible. Refer to your nurse as "The Girl". Refer to every female doctor as "Nurse"--they love that. If you can, work in a shadow of doubt about your nurse's or doctor's competence. Ask repeatedly if they've "ever done this before."Don't forget to bring your four-page, single-spaced list of demands. Make certain that you've listed all of your drug allergies, even if they're not actually allergies, on the first page in bold type. List all of your previous surgeries on the second page, with editorial comments such as "spent six ... Head Nurse blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1335201 Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:00:00 +0100 1335201