MedWorm.com provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 5000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest items from the 'Know A New Freedom' source. Sat, 16 Aug 2008 14:44:26 +0100 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/11/14/dairy-free/ For the past few months, I kept coming across information concerning a dairy-free diet. The first few times I didn’t pay much attention to it. The idea intrigued me, but I felt my diet was restricted enough already since I don’t eat sugar, flour, wheat, caffeine, and a host of other things. As time has gone on, I’ve seen more and more references to a dairy-free way of life and it suddenly occurred to me that it wasn’t just a coincidence so I decided to educate myself. I’m almost sorry I read everything I did because it was all so disturbing. The more I read about the effects of consuming dairy, the more I want to never ever consume another ounce of dairy in my life. This stuff is vile! It’s almost as bad as sugar, which is saying quite a lot. As of today, I’m officially giving up dairy. I have 5 containers of my (formerly) beloved Greek yogurt in my refrigerator that need to find a home, because I will not be eating them. A few people have asked me why I’m making this change, and I get a little overwhelmed trying to explain because there are just so many reasons. I’m going to document them here, and hopefully this list will help me to answer people who are curious about my latest dietary change. Here are some symptoms/ailments that have been linked to dairy consumption: Migraines Breast cancer Diabetes (both types) Obesity High Cholesterol Heart disease Irregular bowel movements Sinus/Allergy problems Colds/Sore Throats PMS/Emotional problems Acne/Problem skin I suffer from more than 1/2 of the problems on that list. I want to see if giving up dairy changes that. Apparently, it only takes 7-10 days to start noticing a difference. I will be sure to report back to let you know how I’m feeling and if there are any changes to how I’m feeling. Although all this dairy stuff has been disturbing, it didn’t cause me to lose my sense of humor. During my lunch hour today, I went to a local health food store, Trader Joes, and Whole Foods to find dairy replacements. Specifically I was looking for some unsweetened plain soy yogurt. I purchased quite a few things, and I had to laugh at myself as I was walking up the driveway with my grocery store bags in hand. Here I was replacing three basic food items on my food plan: milk, yogurt, and powdered milk. And in my hand were three full grocery bags of assorted items to take their place. Did I really need 6 boxes of assorted flavors of unsweetened soy milk? It’s apparent that this change is stirring up a little bit of fear and a need to control, as most change does for me. Still funny, though! One other note - I wasn’t able to find a yogurt or powdered milk alternative, so I bought two types of soy cheese, tempeh and tofu as well. I don’t believe there is a soy yogurt alternative that has no sugar in it, so looks like I’m going to learn to live without it. I might try silken tofu blended with fruit to take its place, but I’m not sure. My diet now has a whole lot of soy in it, and I don’t want to go too far overboard in that direction, either. In my travels studying the problems with dairy, I also read quite a few things about animal products in general. I have a feeling I might turn into a full-fledged vegan, but that is for another day. Today, I address the dairy. Here are some more resources if you’re interested: Not Milk Go Dairy Free Challenge (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1027255 Thu, 15 Nov 2007 00:50:22 +0100 1027255 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/11/03/hungry-weight/ For some reason, I’ve been getting hungry about an hour before my meal time for almost a week now. I’m not sure what’s going on, but it sure is annoying. The funny thing is, I thought for sure this meant I would be sure to see a big drop in weight this month; I lost a whopping 1/2 pound. Ha! Maybe if I don’t change anything this month, the weight loss would show up next month, though, since this hunger thing is a new development. I don’t know if I’ll be able to go a full month without making a change if this continues, though. I don’t do well with hunger. It scares me and triggers negative reactions in my mind. I know I won’t die between meals, but logic doesn’t help a whole lot when hunger comes to town. It’s such a driving, primal force! My sick mind is so torn between wanting to keep my food the same so I will lose weight and making a change so I can eat more. Both sides of my compulsive eating disease are rearing their ugly heads. I left a message for my sponsor about the hunger, so I’m sure we’ll come up with a plan of action for this - and I can return to sanity. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1002334 Sat, 03 Nov 2007 20:28:43 +0100 1002334 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/10/23/conflict/ As a rule I don’t handle conflict very well. It stresses me out and makes me nervous. Yesterday was chock full of conflict, and it’s no surprise that today I’m feeling unsettled. The first incident had nothing to do with me; my coworkers and boss had some strong words in our weekly department meeting. I was able to notice my discomfort, yet mind my own business and keep my mouth shut. That is a lot of progress for me. My instinct is to either antagonize or appease. I want to pick sides, roll up my sleeves and get in the thick of it, letting the side I didn’t choose know how wrong they are. Or I want to crack a joke to ease the tension in the room, distract the offending parties and move on to more pleasant items of business. I was a bit rattled up after the meeting, little did I know it was just a small taste of what awaited me. In the afternoon, the owner of the company flipped his lid complete with cursing and slamming things down at and around me. The whole incident shocked me, and I felt wholly unprepared for it. It’s making me realize there are bigger issues at stake - God is “raining bricks” down on my head to get my attention where this job is concerned. And to top off the evening, my oldest son decided it was acceptable to go into a rage and yell at me and his brother when he was told to give his brother a turn on the XBox. I felt like I handled that situation well, but I still hated that it happened. Again, I was taken aback at the behavior - it was completely unexpected. Later that night, my husband and I had a misunderstanding about the disciplining practices around the whole situation, so that just compounded the issue. Today I will need to work on forgiveness because I’m feeling pretty angry and resentful at my son. It’s going to take a lot of prayer, because I don’t feel any sort of peace in me at this moment. This morning I spent time exercising and praying and now I’m writing - I’m just trying to do the next right thing in hopes that today is a better day. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=971533 Tue, 23 Oct 2007 12:15:26 +0100 971533 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/10/18/my-body-image/ I’ve been a little too concerned about my body size and shape lately. I hate when I spend too much time and energy focused on that because it means I’ve lost some serenity. It also means I need to step up my recovery program, which is something I don’t like admitting, either. I did some journaling this morning and my thoughts about this came out there, too. I’m glad, because I believe that putting the negative thoughts onto paper is an important part of the process of getting over the negativity. Here’s an excerpt of what I wrote: Thank you [I was writing a letter to God] for the willingness to take the dog for a walk this morning. I hated how fat and sluggish I felt the past two nights going to bed. I don’t know if it’s my period coming on or what, but my stomach feels heavier than normal. I’m noticing, though, that I’m becoming a little too concerned and involved in my body size. My distorted mind sees me as fat, even though the scale and my clothing size tells me different. Will I ever get over this? I keep thinking it will change and I’ll love my body if I exercise regularly and everything is firm and toned and I’m in good shape, etc. I’ve been skinny in the past, but never in great shape with well-defined muscles and minimal fat and cellulite except for a brief period in my middle teenage years. The question really is, though - why does it matter? What difference does it make? It’s all tied into EGO as usual. If I had no ego, I’d be perfectly content with being a normal body weight. But my ego wants more. It wants to be at or below a normal body weight, be in perfect physical condition, have gorgeous hair, skin and makeup, etc. Thinking about these ideals, I can say with certainty that I’ll never be there. Who really is besides super models and celebrities? Does that mean I’ll never be satisfied with my body? That’s a sad and scary thought. God, please help me be more accepting of my body and to let go of unreasonable expectations. Help me to stop comparing myself to all the young girls at work who do have what I consider perfect bodies. They haven’t bore children, and they most likely have not gone through the hell of active food addiction like I have. It’s helpful to re-read what I wrote, because it really drives the point home that I have unreasonable expectations where my body is concerned. I know a good deal of that is from the media bombardment and another great portion from my diseased mind. If I could remember those things and remind myself that balance and moderation in all things is what ultimately brings me the peace and serenity I crave, I’ll be well on my way towards accepting my body exactly as it is today. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=961837 Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:09:41 +0100 961837 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/10/10/hearing-aids/ I’ve worn hearing aids since I was five years old. Well except for some periods where I went without them for various reasons. When I was a teenager, I decided to not wear them because I was self-conscious. Being dumb is apparently part of the teenage condition. These days I don’t care what anyone thinks or says about my aids, I can’t function well without them. When I got my first set of hearing aids, they were the over the ear kind, because the in the ear models hadn’t been invented yet. I was so grateful when that kind came out so I could conceal the aid a bit more. Last year I had to replace my aids and the audiologist highly recommended I get the over the ear kind again because my hearing loss had significantly increased. I’ve grown a lot since those teenage years because the only concerns I had about wearing the over the ear model this time had nothing to do with how it would look when wearing them. I was more concerned with the weight of the aids on my ears and the inability to use a Bluetooth wireless headset. However, when I got a taste of all the features these new digital hearing aids boasted, I soon forgot about the feared inconveniences. My hearing aids have mini computers inside each of them and they’re constantly talking to each other to stay in sync depending upon the noises in my environment. When I go in for a check up, they plug the aid into the computer and a program shows exactly how long I’ve worn the aids, and at what settings I’ve kept them on. The volume and other, detailed noise levels can all be set right on the computer. I’m so amazed by that. I’m also so pleased with my new maturity about my looks is concerned. When the doctor saw my disappointment over having to get the over the ear models, he assumed I was worried about how I would look. It felt good to know that I no longer care what other people think about me, and that my looks was the last thing on my mind. Ironically, I look better today than I have in over a decade! Gotta love it. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=943187 Thu, 11 Oct 2007 02:56:21 +0100 943187 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/10/09/weight-october/ This month when I weighed, I was down 2 pounds to 158.8. I’m pleased with that number, very pleased. I’m also noticing changes in my body; my stretch marks on my stomach are shifting again and my upper thighs are finally, finally firming up! I guess it really does take the body a long time to adjust to losing over 100 pounds. My food has been pretty darn clean this month, which explains the weight loss, I’m sure. I love when I have the willingness to do what’s good for me. I also came across some pretty cool practical tools that make it easier for me to weigh and measure when I’m out and about. Check out the Chef’n SleekStor™ Collapsible Cups. I love these things! Owning these means I can carry a measuring cup in my purse, even when it’s not the size of a suitcase! In addition to the measuring cups, I also bought the Chef’n SleekStor™ Swivel Spoons - another addition to my repertoire of food tools. On top of that, I was able to revive my pocket scale, so I’ve got no excuse at all for not weighing and measuring no matter where I am. And weighing and measuring on a regular basis is really the only thing that works for me to stay squeaky clean with the food. There’s so much freedom in not wondering after a meal if I had too much or too little - the lack of head games is a refreshing, enlightened way to live. I hope to experience it the rest of my life. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=939975 Wed, 10 Oct 2007 03:34:21 +0100 939975 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/27/spiritual-experience/ One of the terms you hear frequently around 12 step rooms is this mysterious “spiritual experience”. I’ve had many spiritual experiences since walking into my first meeting, but somehow I still tend to naturally stray away from the spiritual side of things. It’s not something that comes naturally to me all the time, although it is improving all the time. Usually I am prompted by something someone says, or something I’ve read to return to the thing that brings me the most joy: letting go and letting God. This morning I was reminded once again that I need to return to God’s grace after reading this passage in one of my daily readers: God’s power in your life increases as your ability to understand His grace increases. The power of God’s grace is only limited by the understanding and will of each individual. God’s miracle-working power is only limited in each individual soul by the lack of spiritual vision of that soul. God respects free-will, the right of each person to accept or reject His miracle-working power. Only the sincere desire of the soul gives Him the opportunity to bestow it. I pray that I may not limit God’s power by my lack of vision. I pray that I may keep my mind open today to His influence. Powerful! Each one of those sentences has enough substance in it that I could ponder them individually for a while before moving to the next. I love that all I need to do is grow my spiritual vision of my soul to know peace and God’s good grace. How do I grow my spiritual vision? I believe it’s by thoroughly trusting and accepting whatever live brings me each day, even when - or especially when I’m disappointed by circumstances. My human vision is limited. I see the trees and wish they were trees of another species. What I can’t see is that the entire forest is just beyond the few trees in front of me and there’s trees whose infinite beauty and strength I never even knew existed. Today I’m going to be grateful for the trees in front of me and trust that I will see the rest of the forest when I’m meant to. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=907192 Thu, 27 Sep 2007 12:46:44 +0100 907192 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/21/earlybirds/ A friend asked me to be a speaker at an AA meeting tomorrow. I’ll tell my story of what it used to be like, what happened, and what it’s like now - concerning my alcoholism. I’m excited, but not - because the meeting is at 6 freaking AM on a Saturday! Who are these people who like going to meetings at 6 AM on the weekends? Not me, that’s for sure. When my friend asked, she said, “Do you want to?” I said, “No, but I will.” Since I’m so honest and all these days. I’m going to tell my sponsor that I deserve bonus points for this one. Can’t wait for her reaction to that! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=892468 Sat, 22 Sep 2007 01:51:08 +0100 892468 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/21/world-alzheimers-day/ Today is World Alzheimer’s Day! And through out the whole month of September, any donations towards the cause will be matched dollar for dollar by The Harrah’s Foundation. All over the world, people are attending a Purple Party in their area to help raise awareness and funds for this debilitating disease. Even though World Alzheimer’s Day is today, if you didn’t host or attend an event, it’s not too late to organize your own Purple Party to get some funds raised before September ends. If you register your party on ActionALZ.org and agree to raise just $150, you’ll even get a free party kit. Think about hosting a virtual Purple Party, too, because contributors can donate online! I look forward to the day when there’s a cure for Alzheimer’s - it scares me that so little is known about it today. This disease runs in my family, so it’s a personal fear. I don’t want to spend the sunset of my life not remembering all of the years before it. My memories are one of my most cherished possessions; it sends chills down my spine to even slightly entertain the thought of not having my memories to accompany me through life. Do what you can, however little, to help support this cause, won’t you? (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=892469 Sat, 22 Sep 2007 01:20:39 +0100 892469 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/21/back-from-vacation/ Our vacation was absolutely wonderful and everything with the food turned out just fine. I’m so glad that I took care of myself and prepared my food ahead of time, though, because I really needed it. There were quite a few instances where I would have been completely out of luck with eating any sort of food that falls on my food plan if I didn’t have my own food with me. That’s a big plug for planning right there! I know I freaked out a little, and got a bit anal about it all, but I’m glad I thought it all through. There was one tough time at dinner on the last day we were there that actually put me in tears. My aunt had a nice, home-cooked meal on the table for everyone and I realized there wouldn’t be enough green vegetables for everyone else if I took my full two cups of green beans (fresh from the garden!). I asked my aunt if she had any more vegetables I could cook up and she looked at me like I had three heads and said, “There’s corn on the cob, salad, and mashed potatoes on the table. And cranberries are good for you, too.” Well, corn on the cob and mashed potatoes both count as a starch for me, not a vegetable. The salad had crumbled bacon, cheese, and a creamy salad dressing mixed through out already. The cranberries were in some sort of gelled concoction, not to mention the fact that the cranberry is a fruit. I sort of went into an internal panic. I’m not close enough to my aunt to “talk back” - she’s really my mom’s aunt and is almost 80 years old, so I didn’t think there was too much I could say that would have made a difference anyway. I went back to the table briefly before running downstairs to the bathroom where I lost it for a few minutes. In that moment, I was just upset about being a compulsive overeater and hating that I wasn’t a “normal” eater who didn’t have to go through these issues. I hated being different than everyone else the whole weekend, and have everyone make observations about how I was eating. “Oh, you’re so good.” “I wish I could do that.” It gets old after a while. After a few minutes, though, I started to get myself together and headed back upstairs. When I looked up, my husband was coming down. Seeing him made me burst into tears all over again. We headed back downstairs where he held me for a few minutes and listened to me moan about hating being different. Then I recomposed myself yet again and we headed up. I felt so self-conscious because it was obvious that everyone knew I was upset and had been crying. Then everyone started announcing that they didn’t need any green beans and that I should take as many as I needed. lol I got through it, though, and the important thing is that I remained abstinent. It wasn’t comfortable or easy, but it was much better than the alternative. The experience also helped me to cultivate some gratitude for the fact that I don’t have to fight like that every day or every meal - I am surrounded by supportive people who help make it easy to stay on my plan. If I only have to experience that type of situation on rare occasions, I can handle it. In the meantime, I can also look at why the situation caused me to become so upset so I can do something about it the next time. We’re planning a trip back to the same location in another couple of months, so perhaps I’ll get an opportunity to put some new skills into place then. Wouldn’t that be great? (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=892470 Sat, 22 Sep 2007 00:54:46 +0100 892470 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/11/live-in-the-two/ I’ve been on a deep-thinking, soul-searching quest lately to discover what it is I’m meant to do with my working life. Right now I feel like I’m on the edge, just waiting to jump off and take a chance with something exciting, rewarding, and fulfilling. When I learned about the Live in the Two self improvement model, I was anxious to take the test to see where I stood. The test informed me that I am not living in the two - that is, I don’t have all the habits and thinking of those who are living in the top 2% of earners among us. I wasn’t terribly surprised with my results since I’m not earning a top 2% salary right now, that is for sure. If I had scored in the top 2%, then I’d have some more serious questions to ask myself. Instead, I get a chance to learn some more self improvement tips to improve my lifestyle. I firmly believe that once I make some changes and delve further into discovering my dream, that life in the two is definitely possible. Right now, my biggest obstacle is self-discipline, believe it or not. Most people consider me to be one of the most self-disciplined people they know because I have not strayed from my food plan for over 5 years. While that does take discipline, it’s really all about turning my life over to a higher power and getting the support I need to keep up the good habits. Since I know I have self-discipline skills in me, I’m not worried that I’ll be able to focus them on other parts of my life that need it, too. I’m ready to have more peace of mind and serenity. Sure, having the money will be nice - life is easier when money isn’t a factor - but I honestly believe that living my dreams will be more fulfilling than any money I’ll ever make. I’m anxious to get started. Do you live in the two? Take the test to find out. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=865727 Wed, 12 Sep 2007 01:26:28 +0100 865727 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/10/food-freakout/ We’re going on a trip for a few days this coming weekend and I’m starting to get a bit panicked about the food situation. It looks like we’re going to be going out to eat quite a bit, which I hate for two reasons. One - it’s expensive, and two - I can never fully guarantee that I’ll get exactly what I need there. It’s just safer to eat my food at home. I’m doing as much planning ahead as I can. Here’s my plan so far. Friday B: Pineapple Loaf (that I make at home and bring with) L: Grilled sirloin steak, house salad, baked potato at Cracker Barrel D: Out to eat somewhere S: Blueberries & Yogurt (from home - they’ll be in a cooler all day) Saturday B: Blueberry Loaf (I’m hoping the hotel can heat it up for me) L: Tuna, pepper strips & carrots, and brown rice* (packed from home) D: Out to eat somewhere S: Apple & yogurt (packed from home) Sunday B: Pineapple Loaf L: Tuna, pepper strips & carrots, and brown rice D: Out to eat a country restaurant S: Apple & yogurt Monday B: Blueberry Loaf L: Regular food (we’ll be at a relative’s house) D: Regular food S: Apple & yogurt Tuesday B: Pineapple Loaf L: Out to eat on the way home D: Dinner at home! S: Blueberries & yogurt (at home!) * I bought an electric burner today to bring with us. I’m debating if I really need it. I would use it to heat up my breakfast loaf somehow if the hotel won’t do it for me. I could use it to make my brown rice, but I also could make that ahead of time and bring it with me. The only thing is - it wouldn’t be as fresh and it would have to be stored in a cooler with ice. Yuck. Okay, I think I’m bringing the burner. I’m thinking we could even use it to make eggs for the rest of the family to save on going out for breakfast. Okay, so that is 6 times out to eat in 5 days, I guess that’s not too bad. It could be worse. I’m glad I wrote it all out like this. Now I know what I need to pack and this will ease my fears greatly. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=858668 Tue, 11 Sep 2007 01:26:22 +0100 858668 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/10/teen-rehab/ I’ve noticed a trend in my 12-step meetings: there are more and more teenagers coming in through the doors. I know that more teenagers are finding help today with their addictions than ever before, and that’s a good thing. Sure, it’s sad that so many teenagers are even in a position to have to attend a 12-step meeting, but I could have probably used something like Teen Rehab ECHO MALIBU when I was that age myself. There weren’t rehabs when I was a teenager, though, unfortunately. Over the past ten years or so, there have been a lot of different rehabs for teenagers cropping up - and some of their practices have been questionable, at best. At Echo Malibu, the focus is on helping the teen get better in a healthy, loving, and nurturing environment, so they don’t do things like force the kids to do chores as a lesson in “humility”. The patients there are treated with respect and are introduced to a variety of recovery regimens such as 12-step meetings and therapy sessions provided by licensed or certified professionals. Since the addiction gene is hereditary, I try to stay up on what is available as far as recovery options for kids and teens because I have my own that could walk in my footsteps at any time. It’s good to know a place like Echo Malibu exists should my family need it. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=856943 Mon, 10 Sep 2007 11:04:24 +0100 856943 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/09/07/weight-september/ Wow, I’m late getting here to post my weight for September. It’s been a hectic month so far, with me holding onto my serenity with a very tenuous grasp. Anyway, I lost the 2 pounds I gained in August, thankfully. I’m now back down to 160. I realized after I weighed that I have lost 120 pounds. For some reason, I’ve been saying 110 pounds for a while now. I have no idea how I calculated 280 minus 160 equals 110. Duh. So yeah, I’ve lost a full person, and almost half of my body weight. What’s wild about that is - when I was 280 pounds, I knew I was heavy, but I didn’t think I was that heavy. Denial and rationalization at its best, I suppose. I’ll be back some time this weekend to post about my amazing experience last weekend. I was at a worldwide convention for one of my 12-step programs and it was simply incredible. In the midst of a lot of chaos in my life, I’ve been blessed to be surrounded by even more recovery. I’m so grateful for that - and I feel even closer to my Higher Power than I have in years. There’s something to be said for adversity! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=852201 Sat, 08 Sep 2007 02:38:20 +0100 852201 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/21/slogans/ There are a lot of slogans that I hear “around the rooms”. In early recovery they confused me, then I embraced them, followed by a period of thinking they were pretty corny. Today I’m back to embracing them, corny or not, they’re helpful. They help me right size my problems and to (dare I say it) Keep It Simple, Sweety. Here are a few slogans I seem to use pretty regularly - whether it’s because I hear them from my sponsor or in the rooms - they resonate with me. Mind Your Business - I was just reminded of this one a couple of days ago when I was getting wrapped up in what my husband was doing (and not doing). It’s amazing how my serenity immediately comes back when I put this slogan into action. First Things First - When there are problems, it’s easy for me to get confused. I don’t know which way to turn next or what to do, and then I’m reminded - First Things First - what is the most spiritually sound choice I can make? Do that first. Live and Let Live - This is closely related to minding my business. It means other people are free to make their own choices; I don’t have to have an opinion about what they’re doing and I don’t have to let what they’re doing affect what I do. Let Go and Let God - Letting God in to guide me and the decisions I make is by far my biggest “secret” to living a sane, useful, and serene life. There but for the Grace of God Go I - It’s easy for me to get judgmental and snub my nose at others - but then I’m humbly reminded that I didn’t do anything special to deserve my place in life. That knowledge knocks me off my high horse pretty quick. To Thine Own Self be True - I spent most of my life following others, imitating them and doing whatever they did in the name of fitting in and being liked. I had no idea who I really was, and therefore I was largely unhappy. Today I know that not only my happiness, but the happiness of other people in my life is directly dependent on me staying true to myself. One Day at a Time - Nothing is so bad that I can’t endure it for 24 hours. Tomorrow is always a new day, and for this I am grateful. I love living life one day at a time and not 3 days, months, or years in the past or future! Identify, Don’t Compare - When I’m in a situation where I find myself feeling uncomfortable, it’s easy for me to start comparing myself to others on some imagined ladder of self worth. I put myself either above or below others, when really, I need to lay the ladder down and put us all on equal ground then start looking for what we have in common. My happiness in this life depends on peacefully coexisting with everyone else who inhabits this world with me. I’ve discovered a true joy for my fellow people by using this slogan, and have felt myself truly come alive. What a miracle! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=814351 Wed, 22 Aug 2007 01:23:17 +0100 814351 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/17/drug-rehab-2/ Last night before my meeting, I met a friend for dinner and coffee. We got on the subject of how caffeine is a drug and my friend asked how bad my withdrawal symptoms were when I stopped using it. To her surprise, I told her I actually stopped ingesting caffeine at the same time I stopped drinking and compulsively overeating. I didn’t know the difference between the different substance withdrawals because they all hit me at the same time, and hard. My friend reflected, and I agreed, that I probably should have been in a treatment facility in those early days and that I’m lucky I didn’t get seriously hurt coming off of alcohol, sugar, flour, and caffeine all at once. It was a rough few days spent in bed and the bathroom; my body definitely went into shock. In hindsight I think I should have looked into getting professional help, but I just didn’t know any better at the time. Today I’m much more educated about the different avenues to recovery from addiction. People can spend time in a drug rehab, or an alcohol rehab, or an eating disorder rehab when they first get sober instead of doing it on their own. There are also referral services available to direct you to the right resource for you. I wonder where they would have sent me with my multiple addictions going on? Probably to the alcohol rehab since that is considered a more dangerous addiction than food by most. The concept of a referral service is a good one, in my opinion because people, in general, aren’t that well-schooled in their options for help where addiction is concerned. Hell, I didn’t even realize I had a problem with alcohol - talk about denial! I think the referral services could have helped me along in that direction because they’d ask the pertinent questions to get me the help I needed. Ah well, I don’t have any regrets about how I got sober. Are you in recovery from addiction? How did you get there? Did you know someone in a 12-step room? Did you look in the phone book for help? Did you use a referral service to direct you to the right treatment facility for you? I’m always interested in other people’s stories. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=806694 Sat, 18 Aug 2007 02:35:50 +0100 806694 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/17/invisible-acts-of-power/ I recently completed one of the most influential books I’ve ever read in my entire life. Invisible Acts of Power by Caroline Myss had such a profound effect on me that I want to share what I learned with everyone I come across. I know that’s an impossibility, but I can share the overriding spirit and principal of the book with people I encounter. That principal is being of service. What is service? Service is doing something for others with absolutely no expectations of anything in return. Service is being loving in every act you perform. Service is being there for someone, whether you realize you’re helping them or not. Service is respecting your fellow human beings as you encounter them through out your days. Service is its own reward. “Service is not an option, it is a biological necessity.” - Caroline Myss That might sound simple, and perhaps not so moving, but after reading the many real-life examples the author provided, you’ll understand more. I discovered this book through a new book club I’m in with a group of women in recovery from multiple addictions. It was absolutely divine to share in the life-altering experience this book afforded all of us. In turn, I shared this book with a coworker whose feelings for the book ran just as strong as mine. She said she has been reading it slow because she wants to savor every word; every sentence is packed with meaning and powerful messages - and I agree. I plan to use this book as a reference in the future - it’s something I’d like to keep on my bedside to flip through regularly so I don’t ever forget that I want to remain spiritually changed, as this book made me. If you’re looking for something to awaken your soul, a purpose in your life - I recommend this book. If you are open to the messages contained within, you will be awakened and filled with purpose after reading. I was. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=806101 Sat, 18 Aug 2007 00:53:31 +0100 806101 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/16/no-opinion/ Other people’s actions need not affect us. I read this quote today just when I needed to; I was getting worked up over something my husband was doing at work. The truth is that it really is none of my business, and that I really don’t need to have an opinion on this. I want to have one so bad, though! Then I realized that it was affecting my serenity and I could hear my sponsor’s words in my head. “Nothing in this world is worth losing my serenity over.” Each time I thought about as the rest of the day wore on, I just said a quick little prayer asking God to take the thoughts from me. And He did! By the time I was driving home, my serenity was still intact and I was no longer torturing myself with the thoughts. What a gift. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=806102 Fri, 17 Aug 2007 00:22:05 +0100 806102 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/07/silver-sinus/ After being prescribed one too many medications that have given me far more than one too many side effects, I decided to start researching alternative treatments for my sinus problems. For the past month, I’ve discontinued use of all prescription medication and gone with a more homeopathic approach to prevent the frequent sinus infections I’ve suffered with my entire life. So far, the methods have been working very well - and I haven’t gotten an infection yet. Time will tell if I’ll continue to be fortunate enough to avoid the sinus infections forever, but I’m not worried if I do get one because I just discovered a 100% natural sinus infection treatment. Now I don’t have to fear getting sinus infections and going on course after course of antibiotics, hoping they’ll cure the infection because this treatment is made from a mineral that clinical studies have shown to eliminate hundreds of types of disease causing bacteria, fungi, parasites and viruses. A big problem with antibiotics is they only treat bacterial infections and there are lots of other things that can give you an infection. In essence, you could be taking antibiotics until the cows come home, and still suffer from the symptoms of sinus infection, because your infection doesn’t get cured! If this stuff works 1/2 as well as the other homeopathic remedies I’m using now, I’ll be sold. As far as I’m concerned, the less prescription medications I put in my body, the better. My body just doesn’t like them for some reason, and I suffer from nasty side effects almost every time. No more! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=787009 Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:28:47 +0100 787009 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/07/acceptance/ A big part of living a happy, joyous, and peaceful life is learning the art of acceptance. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous tells us that “acceptance is the answer to all our problems today, and I believe that. It might sound a big far-fetched to say that simply gaining acceptance will be the answer to every single one of our problems, no matter how large or small, but if you really think about it - it’s true. When we are struggling with an issue in our lives, it’s because we lack acceptance of the issue. Say, for instance, your mother-in-law drives you crazy because she still wants to control your husband. If you accepted the fact that your mother-in-law was a control freak and that no matter what you do, you can’t change it, it suddenly becomes a non-issue. I have been amazed at how praying for and receiving acceptance has worked in my life. When the dog chews up my favorite pair of shoes, I have a choice: get pissed off or accept the fact that the shoes are gone and move on. I could choose to stay angry at the dog and waste hours of my day harboring bad feelings for her, telling everyone I come across about my problems with her. Or I could accept the fact that the shoes were left in her reach (my fault), she’s just a dog who hasn’t learned better impulse control yet, and that the shoes are not going to come back no matter how hard I wish for them unless I can find them at the store again. When I choose the latter attitude, I have much more peace in my life. And that’s what I’m striving for today: I want to live a peaceful, serene life. Thankfully I know today that I have the power to change my thoughts and actions to bring about the life I want. This doesn’t mean that I won’t have problems - on the contrary! Life still happens and things I don’t like keep coming my way, but what I choose to do and think about all of those things are what makes the difference. Today I choose serenity. I choose joy. I choose peace. Because today I choose acceptance. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=786025 Wed, 08 Aug 2007 01:03:54 +0100 786025 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/02/spending-spree/ We went on a bit of a spending spree the past couple of weeks - which would have been fine if we did it after I had taken a look at the bills for the pay period and had a firm idea on how much we had to spend. Instead, we just bought what we wanted and let the chips fall where they may. Not the healthiest financial behavior. It’s an old pattern of ours that we really need to break. Once I did the bills and saw that we were going to be tight on money, I panicked a little bit inside. I hate that feeling. I was proud of us for not putting anything on our credit cards, but then started to think it might have actually been better to use one of those 0% credit cards we’ve been offered in the mail. This way I would have a little time to plan and prepare for paying off the card instead of all of the money immediately being gone from our checking account. It’s probably a good idea for me to compare credit cards now and have one or two ready to go in cases like this in the future. I like the idea of planning for our purchases and payments on such, rather than just arbitrarily deciding to go on a spending spree with cash from our checking account. At least we don’t go on spending sprees with our credit cards any more; I have a healthy fear of getting into debt with them - I guess we’re making progress! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=774275 Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:14:00 +0100 774275 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/08/01/august-weight/ Today was weigh day and the news wasn’t so good this month. I weighed in at 162.6, giving me a gain of almost 2 pounds. Eep! I know that I’ve been craving (and eating!) a lot of red meat this month, as well as going out to eat a lot, so I am attributing the gain to that. It’s amazing how much faster I can gain the weight than lose it. Ah well, it was just a reality check and not anything I obsessed over all day. I even still felt plenty cute in the clothes I wore yesterday, which is a switch from how I used to feel on a day where I knew there was a weight gain. My head can tell me any number of lies and one of them used to be that if the scale went up, I was fat and ugly. Thank God I know that’s not true today. This month I am going to be more conscientious about my protein choices, more vigilant about bringing my food scale with me when I go out to eat, and I’m back to taking my coffee black again. We’ll see what September 1st brings! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=774276 Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:56:58 +0100 774276 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/16/natural-health/ I recently discovered the joys of the neti pot, and in my adventures to learn all things neti, I’ve been spending a lot of time in different health food stores - both online and off. I have been simply amazed at how many natural products there are on the market for our health. After getting such fabulous results from my neti pot, I have a lot of faith that other natural health products will work well, too. I want to get away from taking traditional medication where possible, just because I hate all of the side effects. I’m not going to turn into someone who turns down antibiotics or other necessary drugs when I’m seriously ill, but for every day things, I’m finding I really do prefer natural health to synthetic. For instance, by using the neti pot, I have been able to discontinue daily use of antihistamine and decongestant prescription medication I have been taking for years. That is amazing. My next step is to look into natural health supplements to replace the daily multi-vitamins I take now. I don’t get any side effects (that I’m aware of) from my current multi-vitamin, but if I’m going natural, I might as well do it all the way, right? I never would have thought I would turn into this total granola girl, but hey - I feel good, and that’s all that really matters, in my opinion! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=737696 Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:40:26 +0100 737696 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/16/invisble-acts-of-power/ I’m in a new book club with some friends from program and we’ve chosen our first book: Invisible Acts of Power by Caroline Myss. I’m about 1/3 of the way through it, and so far I’m really liking it. The book is all about service - and you know how much of a proponent of service I am! So I get to pat myself on the back as I read along. Heh. But seriously, it’s a great read so far and I’m learning a lot of new things about chakras. Before this week, I don’t know that I knew anything, really, about chakras at all. I love all this new age-y type stuff, though, so I’m soaking it all in. I have a feeling I’ll want to buy a book devoted solely to chakras once I’m done this one. Our bookclub meeting is in less than two weeks - I will be sure to check back in afterwards to tell you how it went. I’m very interested to hear other people’s take on the book, and the insights they gained from it. I’ll share mine in more depth at that time as well. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=737697 Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:36:41 +0100 737697 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/12/remote-pc/ Doing service in my 12-step groups is good for my ego. Or maybe it’s bad, since I’m getting a little full of myself over here. Heh. You see, I know a bit about technology since I work in IT and not too many other people in my groups know much at all about computers in general. So when I do things, I get lots of accolades. Recently I had to teach some members of my group how to run an application I built for them and it was getting quite frustrating trying to teach them over the phone and email. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do to get it done, but we ended up being able to have a face to face meeting where I had my laptop to show them in person. In the future, though, I have a better idea so we don’t have to wait so long to get things done. We’re going to use a program for remote access so I can log into their machines to show them what I need to. Using Remote PC is only $4.95 a month for the plan we would need, which is a lot cheaper than other solutions out there like GoToMyPC or pcAnywhere. We could even use Remote PC to have a virtual meeting on my computer where they connect in, so I could show multiple people at the same time how to work different programs. I think using Remote PC to demonstrate would be even better than doing it in person because everyone would be able to see my screen at the same time and I’d only have to explain it once. I’m sure once I show them all this new capability, I will receive even more kudos. I can see I’m going to have my work cut out for me about staying humble. Getting our groups up to speed with technology is worth it, though. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=734032 Thu, 12 Jul 2007 23:34:42 +0100 734032 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/12/obesity-map/ This obesity map I found on CNN just makes me sad. What will that map look like in 10 or 20 years from now? Completely red? I sure hope not. It scares me to think how unhealthy our nation is, as a whole. And I’m saddened thinking about how many untreated food addicts are out there, floundering around, trying to figure out what’s wrong with them. The dramatic increase in hydrogenated oils in our food supply in recent years plays a large part in this problem. Most people just buy what’s on the shelves in the stores without giving too much thought about the ingredients. That choice is proving to be fatal, as the food industry does not have our best interests at heart. There’s one thing on their minds and that is the almighty dollar. The more addictive they can make a food, the more it will sell. It’s like a group of people in the industry suddenly realized 20 years ago that there are certain foods that are highly addictive like sugar, white flour, and hydrogenated oils, and said, “Let’s load our foods up with these - we’ll sell more of them!” And they did. Now our country is paying the price for that greed, and I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to go back. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730889 Thu, 12 Jul 2007 20:48:38 +0100 730889 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/09/defects/ I read something I really needed to this morning… and as I sat there letting the message of the reading sink in, I realized a good friend would also benefit from reading it. So this is dedicated to my friend, she knows who she is. I learn honest through dishonesty, tolerance through intolerance, patience through impatience. -Anonymous Sometimes we have to see ourselves in action before our character defects become glaring enough to do something about them. While we may abhor our dishonesty, intolerance, impatience and our other selfish traits, without them we wouldn’t know the joy of having them replaced with honesty, tolerance, and patience. God is willing to help us with our shortcomings, but the amount of help we get is related to how sincere we are in asking for them to be removed. When we are thoroughly dismayed by our attitudes and actions, we are closer to being entirely ready to have God remove our defects of character. Today I’ll pay special attention to recogninzing my character defects so I can learn from them. I really love the second line in the reading where we’re reminded that if we didn’t have the defects, we wouldn’t recognize the joy of living with the corresponding asset. And I do believe that our character defects are only assets gone awry over the years. They all served us for a time - we needed them at some point to feel safe, but today they just don’t serve me any more. I know better, healthier ways to stay safe that don’t involve engaging in compulsive behaviors - what a gift that is. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730890 Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:10:50 +0100 730890 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/02/weight-july/ I weighed this morning because I forgot yesterday. I’m down another pound, which puts me at 160.8. That means I have officially lost 120 pounds. Holy moly! The ironic thing is, I’ve been feeling fat lately… I don’t know if it’s just because my body is shifting again (it does this every few months) or what, but it’s annoying. I also desperately need to get into a good exercise routine to firm up things. There’s just too much loose stuff for my liking. I wonder if I’ll ever be truly happy with my body? Man, I hope so. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730891 Mon, 02 Jul 2007 14:38:48 +0100 730891 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/01/alcoholic-types/ WebMD is reporting on a new study about the different types of alcoholics. The findings broke the alcoholics into five different types. This study now gives proof to something the people in 12-step fellowships have known for some time: to qualify as an alcoholic, you don’t have to be one of those stereotypical falling down, living in the gutter, can’t hold a job type drunks. In fact, the lowest percentage of alcoholics fall into that classification. Here are the five alcoholic types as defined by this study: The young adult subtype accounts for about 32 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They’re young adults who rarely seek help for alcohol dependence. About 24 years old, they became alcoholics by age 20, on average. They drink less frequently than other alcoholics, but they tend to binge drink when they drink. This is the largest subtype. The young antisocial subtype comprises 21 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They are 26 years old, on average. More than half have antisocial personality disorder. They tended to start drinking at 15 and became alcoholics by 18 — earlier than other subtypes. They are more likely to smoke tobacco and pot. The young antisocial subtype and the young adult subtype don’t overlap, Moss tells WebMD. The functional subtype accounts for about 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. They’re generally middle-aged, working adults who tend to have stable relationships, more education, and higher incomes than other alcoholics. They tend to drink every other day, often consuming five or more drinks on drinking days. The intermediate familial subtype makes up nearly 19 percent of U.S. alcoholics. Nearly half have close relatives who are alcoholics. Alcoholics in this subtype typically began drinking by 17 and became alcoholics in their early 30s. The chronic severe subtype is the rarest subtype, accounting for about 9 percent of U.S. alcoholics. This subtype mainly includes men, has the highest divorce rate, and frequently includes users of illicit drugs. See? Only 9% of all alcoholics fall into the category of what a lot of people think of when they hear the word alcoholic. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730892 Sun, 01 Jul 2007 14:14:17 +0100 730892 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/01/spiritual-retreat/ You know, maybe I need a vacation in a spiritual place to get a jumpstart on my prayer and meditation practices. I’ve heard a few things recently about Peru being a deeply spiritual place. And you know, there are some Cheap Hotels in Lima to stay in. I could head down in October for the Señor de los Milagros, Peru’s largest religious celebration, which takes place in Lima. Now that would be a shot in the arm for my spirituality, don’t you think? I wonder how much the airfare is going for - time to investigate. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730893 Sun, 01 Jul 2007 13:49:10 +0100 730893 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/07/01/habits/ The other day while I was in the shower shaving my legs, I was thinking about how I don’t spend enough time in prayer and meditation. My first line of defense is always, “I don’t have enough time.” An excuse that doesn’t hold much weight when you really confront it. It just so happened that I had this thought while I was shaving my legs and it occurred to me that I spend more time each day shaving my legs than I do communing with God. Now that is just plain sad. If I can make the time every single day to shave my legs, then I can make the time to pray and meditate. Here’s my current (extremely lacking) routine consists of: Before getting in the shower, I hit my knees and ask God to keep me sober and abstinent from compulsive eating. I ask Him to keep my thoughts free of selfish, self-seeking, and dishonest motives. I ask Him to give me the words and the actions to say and do throughout the day. I ask that He help me keep my will aligned with His. I then think about my day ahead (briefly) and ask for God to be there with me throughout any challenges that may arise or to give me strength to get through things I feel may be hard. Then I jump in the shower. At night, I hit my knees again and thank God for another day of sobriety and abstinence. I think about the key people who had an effect on me that day and I express my gratitude for them being in my life. I think about the day that passed and acknowledge where my behavior could have been better and decide if I need to make an amends or not. Then I hop in the bed. Now, I also will “talk” to God periodically through out the day, so it’s not like I’m forgetting about my morning and evening prayers in between saying them. It’s just that I don’t spend enough time just being quiet and listening to what God has to say to me. In the past when I’ve made that part of my routine, I’ve seen tremendous, immediate results. I do fully intend to get back to the practice of meditation, and I know I will be reminded of that each and every time I shave my legs now. I believe God gave me that thought, just so I would be constantly reminded. I love that my God works like that in my life. Now - to heed the message! (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730894 Sun, 01 Jul 2007 13:40:09 +0100 730894 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/06/29/credit-cards/ When we made a large medical purchase a couple months ago, we didn’t have the cash on hand to pay for it entirely, so we financed it through a credit plan. I didn’t read the small print very well, because it turns out the interest rate on this loan is through the roof. I am now in the process of looking for a credit card that offers 0% balance transfers and one that has a much lower rate. It’s time to start looking at websites for credit cards where there are features to compare credit cards. I refuse to throw such a good portion of my money out the window on interest charges to the bank when I know there are better offers out there. It is pretty easy to get a credit card with a lower interest rate, whatever your thoughts are on that subject. Some people think it’s too easy to get credit cards and then people end up wrecking their credit. While that may be true, I liken it to another hot topic - guns. Guns are easy enough to acquire, and yes you can kill someone with a gun. However, the guns themselves aren’t killing people. People are killing people. In other words, you need to be responsible for your own actions - whether it’s with credit cards, guns, or anything else - take some personal responsibility is my motto. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730895 Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:00:06 +0100 730895 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/06/25/mourning-a-friendship/ I recently ended a relationship (well, sort of) with a dear friend of mine. I keep feeling like maybe I made a mistake because I feel extremely sad about the loss of the friendship. However, reading this passage today affirms that I made the right decision and that it’s normal to grieve. Who knew? I left because there was no room for me. But you could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. –Stephen Sondheim Sunday in the Park with George To leave someone we love is to knowingly break a vital connection. Even if we chose to leave, we wonder why it often hurts so much. But the heart isn’t logical; it feels the trauma of the loss and the responsibility of being the one to say good-bye. Love is a process; it doesn’t end because we say good-bye. No matter how painful or harmful a relationship was, there were good things about it, just as there were lovable things about the other person. The challenge is to accept with grace the choice we’ve made and to forgive whatever hurt we’ve received. We can refuse to indulge in self-righteousness or indignation. Those feelings are born out of the illusion of power that comes with being the one who leaves. Most of all, we can grieve the loss and then let go of the person we loved so that we can heal. I have to break some relationships because it is healthier for my recovery. Still, I can hurt and grieve over the loss of those relationships. From: Answers in the Heart by Anonymous (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730896 Mon, 25 Jun 2007 12:36:59 +0100 730896 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/06/13/driving-parallels/ The way I drive is a pretty good indicator of how I am doing emotionally and spiritually. Sounds funny, doesn’t it? But, it’s true. If I’m racing down the highway, trying to make all the green lights, getting annoyed every time a slow car or red light gets in my way, banging my hands on the steering wheel and yelling, “Come on!!!!” - there’s a problem. I am definitely not God-centered, or anything else centered for that matter. On the other hand, if I’m cruising along at or near the speed limit (hey, I have a lead foot), happily accepting each stop sign, red light, and obnoxiously slow person in front of me, I’m feeling serene in all areas of my life most likely. I can believe that I got stopped by every red light because “the universe has it out for me” or because I wasn’t meant to get where I was going until the precise time I arrived. Maybe I hit 10 red lights because that means I missed getting into an accident ahead. Who knows? The point is, it’s all about my perspective. If I believe that God is taking care of me no matter what, and that I just need to trust - it carries over into all aspects of my life. I just happen to notice it first when I’m behind the wheel, as silly as it may seem. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730897 Wed, 13 Jun 2007 13:43:28 +0100 730897 http://knowanewfreedom.com/2007/06/05/hard-call/ I’m currently procrastinating on making an amends to someone. This person is a woman I sponsored for a few months, which makes it even harder for some reason. The deal is, we never had a regular call time, so she would just call and try to reach me. For a while, it worked out fine, as she seemed to reach me fairly regularly. However, over the past couple of months, she started calling at times that just didn’t work for me at all. In the past, if we hadn’t connected in a few days, I’d call her back when I could. I stopped doing that. I haven’t called her in over a month, and that’s just not the way to end a sponsor/sponsee relationship. I owe her an apology for not returning her calls and just saying, “Hey, this isn’t working.” Since it wasn’t working for me, and also because I knew one of the other reasons I didn’t call her back was because she got on my nerves - I put off making that call. Every time, I’d tell myself that I’d answer the next time and let her know that it just wasn’t working out. The next time would come, however, and I would say the same thing. And now I’m stuck where I am today - having never answered her calls nor called her back. It sucks. Of course I’m in a lot of fear about this phone call, and my sponsor is giving me some tough love on this one. She pretty much said yesterday to call her already and let her know how I made out when I’m done. Gulp! Hopefully tomorrow will be the day I gather the courage to make that call so I can put this behind me. (Source: Know A New Freedom) Know A New Freedom blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=730898 Wed, 06 Jun 2007 02:26:35 +0100 730898