MedWorm.com provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest items from the 'Still arriving.' source. Sat, 13 Aug 2011 14:32:37 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4934720&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F06%2Ftoday-big-day.html I have expressed many times that I am humbled by the overwhelming and unexpected success of this blog. Without you the followers and readers this blog would have just disappeared. With you help I have been able to reach people who not only just found out they were positive but others who have in fact been living with HIV/AIDS for years. With many thanks to ALL of you my dream of spreading awareness and giving a face to this illness is reaching a new height.  Yesterday I was contacted by a Senior Producer at CNN who asked if I would be interested in being a featured guest on CNN live to discuss living with the illness and how over the years I have thrived. I jumped at the opportunity and can't wait to share my thoughts with the world.  The segment is scheduled to air TODAY AT 1:45... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4934720 Wed, 15 Jun 2011 15:56:00 +0100 4934720 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893802&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F06%2Fupdate-brewing.html While sitting at my doctors office today I was reviewing the sheet that goes over why you're actually seeing the doctor and realized that HIV is listed as a common diagnosis. I've attached the photo of the sheet. It makes me sad that its listed under common :( (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893802 Fri, 03 Jun 2011 15:12:00 +0100 4893802 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4813608&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F05%2Faids-is-getting-old.html Turning 30 is a huge milestone birthday, at least, it was for most people I know. In the months leading up to my birthday I used the time to evaluate where I stood in my life. What were my accomplishments? What were my failures? As AIDS approaches its 30th birthday the people who fight the disease are asking the same questions. While we've made significant advances against the disease, such as new medications and expanding access to treatment. HIV/AIDS is still a killer. AIDS has become the elephant in the middle of the room that no one wants to talk about. By allowing that to happen we've done a massive disservice to the early pioneers and AIDS advocates. Where modern day activists accept a promise of hope, maybe, 10 years from now the first generation of AIDS activists demanded action an... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4813608 Thu, 12 May 2011 10:16:00 +0100 4813608 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3780519&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F07%2Fpcp-civil-rights-and-harvey-milk.html It's really been a hot minute since my last update so I am going to cover a few issues/thoughts/medical updates in this blog. From the feedback that I get these are the kind of blog postings you like. Minus the sometimes infrequent updates :)The first thing I want to cover is civil rights. Miss Sherrod (former USDA official) has been all up in the news recently and as I was sitting on the bus today I noticed the Civil Rights Act posting on the interior wall. I got to thinking what if the Civil Rights Act of 1964 read: "Under federal law it is unlawful to deny access or services with regards to race, color, national origin or sexual orientation. " Where would the GLBT movement be today? Adding two little words could have set our movement light years ahead. Remembering that the infamous Ston... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3780519 Fri, 23 Jul 2010 02:42:00 +0100 3780519 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3742373&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F07%2Fnew-winds-of-change.html I'm in process of starting life anew. I have been brought to new levels of both humility and being humble. I am in the process of trying to compose probably the second hardest posting of the life of this blog and will be hoping to get a lot of feedback and input from you my readers. Also, I am doing something a little out of the box. For those of you who follow me and even newcomers I want to know what do you want me to write about? Life, yes of course, but I have got a few suggestions of topics people want my feelings on so I am going to make this kind of a suggestion time for you the readers. Don't be shy! More to come on the new winds of change in the upcoming days.Hugs and love,James (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3742373 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 00:46:00 +0100 3742373 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3395328&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fno-lie-can-live-forever.html The title of the blog is actually a quote from Dr. Martin Luther King. He said it as part of a larger speech on the steps of Alabama's state capitol after the first successful march from Selma. Today it has just as much meaning as it did back then. No matter how much the Republican party wants Americans to believe this bill is bad for them and for America THIS lie cannot live forever. The hateful rhetoric that has been said/shouted, the venemous spit that has literally spit out of the mouths of GOP and "Tea Party" voters as well as the encouragement that some GOP lawmakers gave the protesters however WILL LIVE ON. In William Shakespears Julius Caesar, Marc Antony says over Caesar's body "The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones." How true this will ... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3395328 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 12:40:00 +0100 3395328 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3231760&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fmy-name-is-james.html and I am an addict. I have spent many nights going over exactly how I would write this blog. I want to submit an apology to you. This blog was started and has been hailed as an honest look into everyday life with HIV and don't get me wrong it is but I have left out a part of it. For those who have been following me over the years (or newcomers who have read past couple of years posts) may recall when my friends Matt and Lee and subsequently Danny passed away relatively close together. Having two close longtime friends pass away from the very thing that I fight was too much of a reality for me. Funny that even I as a clinical therapist couldn't deal with it and turned to drugs to escape. I found it difficult to even get through the first stage of grief. I took crystal meth and found that od... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3231760 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 02:13:00 +0100 3231760 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3182334&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fget-your-own-color.html Ok now I am sympathetic to just about every humanitarian cause known to man but I am here to tell you I am just about over the taking of the red ribbon. For those of you who do not know the history of the red ribbon here is a short but pointed history lesson: First worn publicly by Jeremy Irons at the 1991 Tony Awards, the ribbon soon became renowned as an international symbol of AIDS awareness, becoming a politically correct fashion accessory on the lapels of celebrities. It became more widly known as a symbol for HIV/AIDS awareness when Elizabeth Taylor first wore it at an awards show when her best friend at the time Rock Hudson died of AIDS related complications. I am truly empathetic to the people of Haiti and their suffering. What I am not empathetic to is the overuse of the ribbons ... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3182334 Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:36:00 +0100 3182334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3122176&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fi-am-but-one-light.html MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL! Last night I went to a Candlelight Service at church (I will talk about my new church in a bit) and had one of the most beautiful and touching experiences of my life. The Chicago Children's Choir was singing Stille Nacht (Silent Night), when they got through the first verse ushers moved through the aisles and lit congregants candles. As this process was going on lights in the church went out until the only light was that of our candles. It was during this time that I completely stopped and let myself be taken by the stillness and was at absolute peace. For me symbolically all the tiny candle flames reminded me of the struggle and those who fight for HIV/AIDS related causes. My one flame in that huge church didn't really make that large of a di... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3122176 Sat, 26 Dec 2009 04:13:00 +0100 3122176 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3089497&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fnot-ready-to-make-nice.html Hello friends in blogland. As most of you who have followed me for any amount of time you know that I express a lot of my thoughts and feelings through music/poetry. The other day I was listening to the radio and the song "Not Ready To Make Nice" by The Dixie Chicks came on. As I was signing it the thought suddenly entered my head that this song is EXACTLY how I feel about HIV. Actually it is me singing the song to HIV. If you are not familiar with the song lyrics I will post them below and then the blog will continue.Forgive, sounds goodForget, I'm not sure I couldThey say time heals everythingBut I'm still waitingI'm through with doubtThere's nothing left for me to figure outI've paid a priceAnd I'll keep payingI'm not ready to make niceI'm not ready to back downI'm still mad as hell and... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3089497 Tue, 15 Dec 2009 05:51:00 +0100 3089497 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3048308&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fyou-have-aids.html Today is December 1st. It is a sort of National holiday. Albeit not like Secretary's Day, or Arbor Day...We don't go around saying Happy World AIDS Day! It's certainly not a day that is to be celebrated, more a day for personal reflection. Perhaps one of the best corporate outreaches was Aldo's "If one person has AIDS, we all do." It's a shame that we do not embrace that ideology. HIV/AIDS is a disease that needs to be done away with permanently. To me it's amazing how quickly science can develop a vaccine for a new flu, or for measels, or shingles but after 2 decades there still isn't a vaccine for HIV. I know this posting is late for you to take action now but I want to challenge you to call your state Representative and Senators and tell them to step up action and actually take a proact... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3048308 Wed, 02 Dec 2009 03:58:00 +0100 3048308 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2671046&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F08%2Famericans-really-piss-me-off.html I have been watching CNN extensively and the subject being talked most about is Healthcare Reform. This country disgusts me! One woman in a town hall meeting got up and asked why should SHE be taxed to pay for healthcare for Americans who can't afford it? You know what you selfish jackass why should innocent Americans go and fight for your freedom? Get your ass up, put on a uniform and go defend your own freedom! Someone else shouldn't have to die for you. Sadly, our men and women in the armed forces do and must die to protect our freedom. All of the greatest civilizations in the past have fallen due to greed, pride and poor leadership. What's sad is that people in this country just listen to the talking points of the leaders of their party and they do ABSOLUTELY NO research on Healthcare ... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2671046 Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:18:00 +0100 2671046 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2576822&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F07%2Fdisclosure.html I am struggling MAJORILY. After 5 years of blogging and speaking about my status to journalists, being on television, speaking to large groups I never imagined that I would struggle with disclosure. Let me explain. In Atlanta I have a very small but VERY close group of friends. They are very supportive and always there when I get sick. That being said a large percentage of them were gay. I only have two straight friends from all my time in Atlanta. It's not that I am opposed to them...the opportunity just never arose for me to interact or meet them really. However, now I am in Chicago, all of that has changed. I have a few gay friends and more straight friends. I met them through a part time job I got as a photographer. None of them have EVER given me any reason to feel "threatned" or frig... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2576822 Tue, 07 Jul 2009 07:26:00 +0100 2576822 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2512691&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F06%2Fwhy-i-really-fight-hiv.html Like some people there are times when I wonder about the meaning and purpose of my life. I think to this very blog. Tonight I sat down and read every single post and every comment all over again. WOW! I was a pretty bitter and angry person at times. Other times, I saw a scared little boy, afraid he was going to miss out on all life had to offer. What kept me writing? I looked back at some of your comments and have included 10 that I have received from you, my readers:Anonymous said...You are very brave to be so open about your (well, ok...our disease). I am in complete isolation and "out" to nobody about it. Thanks for blogging so I feel I'm not alone.Anonymous said...I admire you and thank you for your blog. I suffer from our disease in silence and isolation to avoid the shame my children... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2512691 Tue, 16 Jun 2009 02:54:00 +0100 2512691 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2442509&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F05%2Feek-i-had-staph-infection-cut-out-of-my.html EEK I had a staph infection cut out of my finger two days ago. I feel like shit today. Hopefully I will get the money for antibiotics soon. Keep me in yo (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2442509 Fri, 29 May 2009 16:59:00 +0100 2442509 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2442510&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F05%2Fliberty-and-justicefor-all.html Picture it, Georgia 1983, A man in his early 30's comes out to his parents as having HIV. Horrified they disown him and never PHYSICALLY speak to him again. Now imagine it's 23 years later and he is in the hospital dying of AIDS related complications, unconscience, beside him is his loving "partner" of 25 years. He is there holding his hand, perhaps talking to him, hoping he can hear him tell stories of the time they met, or that wonderful vacation that they took together. All of a sudden out of nowhere a hospital security guard comes in with a group of people that the partner has never seen before DEMANDING that he is not welcome in the room anymore and that he must leave the property. They are the dying mans family and want to be alone with him. You are escorted out of the room and will ... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2442510 Thu, 28 May 2009 05:53:00 +0100 2442510 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2326521&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F04%2Funprecendented.html Two blogs in two days!!! This is unheard of! I just wanted to invite all of you out there to join a really cool HIV/AIDS group on facebook. The link can be found at http://apps.facebook.com/causes/128107/57580606?m=7638c73a While you are there look me up using my name! James McLarty-Lopes. See you soon.James (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2326521 Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:53:00 +0100 2326521 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2326523&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F04%2Fnew-era.html Hello out there in the blogosphere. It's been quite a while since my last posting. I hope that all of you who have followed me through the years have not given up on me. Life gets hectic at times and as such I either forget to blog or...well errr there really is no or, I just forget. There have been a lot of things going on so we can catch up.I want to start this blog posting off by saying goodbye to a friend of mine...Justin Bush, 24, of Atlanta, GA who passed away at 6:30 last night. He was a mess but will be missed by all who really knew the person he was. I really can't recall if I have stated this is a previous post or not so I will here. If I have please forgive me. I officially am married now thanks to the great state of California!!! Chad and I were married into wedded bliss (or un... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2326523 Sat, 04 Apr 2009 20:35:00 +0100 2326523 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1423313&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2008%2F05%2Fmy-grandma-what-un-socialized-nation.html I must admit that I am a Michael Moore fan. I know that he makes a lot of Americans angry. If the shoe fits may I suggest wearing it? After all is their a point in being angry about something you can’t change or you don’t find offense to because it directly affects you? Tonight my housemate and I sat together and watched the movie Sicko (made by Michael Moore). As we sat down to watch it I warned him that usually movies made by Michael Moore make me angry. Not in the violent OMG I just wanna hit something way but in the true blindness of society in regards in injustice one. In 2001 I was diagnosed with breast cancer, two weeks before my birthday. Living in this great land of America I was able to find a doctor who was willing to treat me. Oh wait, no I didn’t! I was told by doctor a... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1423313 Tue, 06 May 2008 07:22:00 +0100 1423313 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1296111&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2008%2F03%2Flong-long-travelled-road.html Well readers I come to you at this hour with news that makes me happy beyond compare. As you all know I filed for Social Security in February 2005. I was denied in June of 2005 and again in October 2005. I have been waiting for a hearing since then! I got a letter in the mail from the Social Security Administration dated March 6, 2008 that says the following..."Our records show you have requested a hearing before an Administrative Law Judge, (ALJ). You did this because you disagreed with our decision on this Social Security disability or Supplemental Security Security Income (SSI) disability claim. Sometimes we look at claims again before the ALJ holds a hearing. We looked at this claim for Social Security disability benefits or Supplemental Security Income payments again and we are writin... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1296111 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:38:00 +0100 1296111 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1220868&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2008%2F02%2Flong-awaited-update.html Alright so hold on to your britches my friends we have a lot of catching up to do! First all Chad and I survived the holidays. Wicked crazy I know. Chad ended up telling his family that if I was not welcome on Thanksgiving then neither was he. We stayed at home had a nice home cooked meal, finished decorating my grandmothers Christmas Tree for her grave, delivered it, and went back home. We spent Christmas eve at my mother's house, he spent Christmas Day with his family and we ended it all by going to my Dad's house X-Mas night. PHEW...it was a really wicked crazy time. Needless to say that I am glad it's over and dread it happening again in a mere 9 1/2 months. In December I was interviewed by Don Lemon of CNN for World AIDS Day. Below you will find the link. http://www.cnn.com/video/#/vi... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1220868 Sun, 10 Feb 2008 14:17:00 +0100 1220868 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1037825&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F11%2Fhappy-holidays.html Wow...so OMG I totally have a new catergory for a blog other than life. Which I personally think that relationships are a part of life. They do pose a new set of rules and challenges though so I suppose it is worthy enough to have it's own myspace Blog Catergory. So I must admit I don't really know how to handle a situation and I am needing some advice. Please be nice in the advice!I will not be celebrating this Thanksgiving with my beau. I just found this out a few hours ago. It would really bother me no matter what year it was...however, this will be our first one. I don't get in the middle of any persons family. That certainly isn't my place. However, I don't feel it appropriate that I have to do without my significant other simply becuase they will not stand up to theirs. I did it to m... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1037825 Tue, 20 Nov 2007 10:07:00 +0100 1037825 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=719445&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F07%2Fcan-you-see-me.html Well here I am. I made it out of the hosptial and am about as fully recovered as I am going to get. While I lost eye sight in the left eye I haven't lost sight of life. Try saying that three times fast! It was confirmed as many of you read from Joshua that I had an infection, specifically HSV (Herpes Simplex Virus 1), hijack my lymph system and travelled to my brain where it cut off the oxygen to the optic nerve in my left eye. As most of you know and remember I also have Cytomeglavirus (CMV) in the left eye as well. The CMV would "flair up" causing me to have bouts of blindness in my left eye. The difference is I knew when the blindness was coming on and that it would only be temporary. That however is no longer the case, as I have lost the vision permanently. So while yes it does suck, I... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=719445 Sat, 07 Jul 2007 07:41:00 +0100 719445 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=565871&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F04%2Fbecon-of-light-has-been-extinguished.html It's been a while since my last update. Nothing new to report about labs or such. A friend of mine of 6 years passed away on Thursday April 19. At this point I still haven't gotten over the others so right now I am feeling rather numb.So yesterday the long journey physically came to an end. We laid Danny to rest. I have cried numerous times but have yet to experience the enevitable breakdown that is going to occur. On Sunday we went to the visitation and on the way I stopped and purchased a miniture disco ball and placed it in with him to be buried. Please let me explain the signifigance of the disco ball. Many eons ago when Backstreet was the happening place to go Danny and I were out dancing. While I was getting some looks and grabs Danny had guys all over him. When we left the dance fl... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=565871 Tue, 24 Apr 2007 08:04:00 +0100 565871 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495785&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F02%2Fone-last-refrain.html Viral load: 50,000Cd4: 227One GloryFrom: Rent{denotes change by blogger}I'm writing one great song before I...One song Glory One song Before I go Glory One song to leave behind Find one song One last refrain GloryFrom the pretty boy front man Who wasted opportunity One song He had the world at his feet Glory In the eyes of a young {guy} A young {guy} Find glory Beyond the cheap colored lightsOne song Before the sun sets Glory - on another empty life Time flies - time dies Glory - One blaze of glory One blaze of glory - glory Find Glory In a song that rings true Truth like a blazing fire An eternal flame FindOne song A song about love GloryFrom the soul of a young man A young man FindThe one song Before the virus takes hold GloryLike a sunset One song To redeem this empty life Time flies An... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495785 Thu, 08 Feb 2007 05:47:00 +0100 495785 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495787&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F10%2Fbearer-of-bad-news.html So last night I had to go to Hoedowns and tell my friends who were also Lee's friends of his passing. I only got to the second person and wouldn't you know it...who showed up? Therapist James. I was having to console everyone all the while I was still searching for that one person, that one mutual friend with whom the consoling would be shared. And finally I found her. I told Genevieve hugged her and she started crying. During our hug she put her arms around me and for the first time since I knew he passed I was able to just cry. We cried and finally were able to get back to the dance floor and tell stories that made us laugh.My best friend Wayne is struggling right now. With every AIDS related complication death that we go through it brings up our very since of mortality. Wayne told me th... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495787 Fri, 06 Oct 2006 11:14:00 +0100 495787 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495788&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F10%2Faids-strikes-again.html So it has been a little over a month since Matthew passed away unexpectedly from AIDS Related Complications. Just when I start to cope and deal with his death I get word tonight that yet another one of my friends (Lee Medley, a DJ whom I have known for MANY MANY years) has passed away because of AIDS Complications. I cannot say anymore than I have already said. People wonder why I am not necessarily the easiest person in the world to get close to...go back and read the last few posts. I am tired of losing my friends. (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495788 Wed, 04 Oct 2006 05:31:00 +0100 495788 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495789&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F10%2Fhappy-booby-cancer-awareness-month.html Hey all!I know it's been a while since my last update. Things have just been really hectic in my life. I am still trying to get things in regards to my feelings about Matt's death ironed out and move on. I am just not ready to right now. So moving on...As most of you know October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Your's truely is a TWO TIME SURVIVOR. I was diagnosed in 2001 and again in 2003. Invasive Ductal Carcinoma of the left breast. I share this story with you because Breast Cancer much like HIV doesn't care who you are. I go for a mammogram (IT HURTS LIKE HELL CONSIDERING I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF BREAST TISSUE TO SQUEEZE THE HELL OUT OF!!!!!!!!!!) every 6 months and do my Self Breast Exam once a month. So to celebrate this month of awareness soap up your boobys and feel for lumps! Early... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495789 Tue, 03 Oct 2006 10:27:00 +0100 495789 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495786&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F09%2Ftired-and-alone.html Alright well I am sure you are waiting for the updates I promised you on Monday. Here they are. My viral load fell from 44,000 to 6,000 (ish) that is awesome news! On the other hand my CD4 count also fell and is holding in the low 500’s. Hopefully we will see them continue to improve over the next few months. I have to go on blood pressure medication as well. My BP was 158/90.In Orthopedic news they are treating me for a shin splint. No leukemia. My doc does have me out of work for the month to make sure I have the full potential for recovery. Thanks to everyone who sent out happy thoughts.Psychologically I am exhausted. I had a breakdown this morning. I am going to give you, my readers, a rare glimpse into something that I rarely show anyone (family and close friends included). I am goi... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495786 Fri, 01 Sep 2006 19:07:00 +0100 495786 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495790&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fbone-update.html Just a quick note to update everyone on the current medical drama. I went today and had my bone scan done. The Nuclear Medicine doctor simply said "I am not pleased." When asked why he simply replied that my doctor would have his findings on his desk next week. So I am going to be sneaky and go to radiology records on Monday before I go see my infectious disease doctor and get the report so I know what in the hell it says.I do want to make known that leukemia is just one of the possibilites that it could be. While I exhibit a lot of the symptoms such as englared spleen and liver, fatigue, weight loss...it is not a given. For example one of the most striking sign of leukemia is an abnormally high white blood cell count. Well I don't have that but I do have a high red blood cell count. There... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495790 Fri, 25 Aug 2006 19:48:00 +0100 495790 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495791&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fnew-news.html One of my favorite quotes from the movie Sordid Lives is "I think I am going to explode at any minute if any more shit hits the fan today!" Although not on the verge of exploding I am on the verge of perhaps having to undergo some serious chemotherapy again. Let me explain...Back in March I started experiencing pain in my tibia aka "shin". I had some x-rays taken and they all came back fine so the final diagnosis at the time was simply a shin splint. I went to my orthopedic doctor today who did some further x-rays and he noticed a slight difference in the x-ray taken in May and the one taken today. In my "bone matrix" (the bone itself) there are supposed to be two colors bright white which is the bone and then a little darker color in the middle of the bone which is where bone marrow is fo... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495791 Tue, 22 Aug 2006 18:00:00 +0100 495791 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495792&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fstuck.html It seems as if I have done nothing but sit in the bedroom and just listen to Without You over and over and over again. I am stuck.I met with Matt's mom and roommate this morning and after the meeting I took some clothes over to the funeral home for him. Not sure if there is going to be a "service" or just a visitation and then his family and close friends take his ashes and spread them. Matt was very fortunate that his family loved, and supported him even through the HIV and AIDS. Tonight I celebrate his life. (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495792 Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:30:00 +0100 495792 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2512692&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fim-furious.html I am furious that this pandemic has been allowed to go on as long as it has. I am furious that I have buried my friends so that drug companies can continue to makes millions of dollars off of AIDS patients. I am furious that we are spending money to send soldiers to invade soverign nations while we actually have a problem here at home called AIDS. I am furious that people are under the assumption that just because you take medicine that will automatically extend your life 20+ years. I am furious that AIDS has to be a part of our daily life. I am furious that we live in a world where AIDS is not the fore front of the media because it can be "controlled." Well guess what if people are still dying of AIDS everyday, every 12 seconds, then IT IS NOT BEING CONTROLLED.I am furious of the complaca... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2512692 Wed, 16 Aug 2006 01:55:00 +0100 2512692 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495793&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fwithout-you.html This Blog Posting is dedicated to my friend Matt who passed today from AIDS Related Complications. Matt was 28, diagnosed in 1999. He was 5'10, 145 pounds, brown hair with brown eyes.Matt may you rest in peace in...a place where AIDS was just a dream.a place where the only cocktail is the one you're sipping on the beach.a place where you don't worry about getting sick anymore.a place where you don't have to worry in fear about disclosure.I will miss your e-mails, I will miss your calls, but most of all I already miss the fabulousness that is you!A song from my favorite musical RENT.Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, The children play. The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly, without you.The earth turns, th... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495793 Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:35:00 +0100 495793 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495795&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fhepatology-update.html So Dr. Frieda Millhouse-Jones yesterday came to the same conclusion that many other specalists in my medical team have. I am an enigma. Her words...not mine. So she did some scans of my liver and drew a new set of labs. All the labs came back normal, with the exception of my liver. She sent the film to a radiologist for "further review". I go tomorrow for an ultrasound and then I go to see Dr. Millhouse-Jones at 2:30 for the final verdict on my testing.Right now I am just suffering from MAJOR fatigue. I slept most of the day yesterday with the exception of getting up for dinner. After that I got home and slept some more and was called into work. I dealt with a few patients and literally just fell asleep on a hosptial bed and woke up this morning, having missed two pages. However, they knew... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495795 Wed, 09 Aug 2006 18:17:00 +0100 495795 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495796&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F08%2Fcontinuing-saga-of-aids-boy.html Well yet another ARC (AIDS Related Complication) to add to the list is liver malfunction. So I went to my new PCP last week because I was coughing up my lung (big surpirse I know) and come to find out thankfully it was just bronchitis (yet another shocker) and not pneumonia. Since I was a new patient she went ahead and drew baseline labs for me. Nothing remarkable really except the fact that my liver is dying. Liver functions are measured by enzymes called AST and ALT.AST stands for Aspartate aminotransferaseALT is Alanine AminotransferaseLow levels of AST and ALT are normally found in the blood. When body tissue or an organ such as the heart or liver is diseased or damaged, additional AST/ALT is released into the bloodstream. The amount of AST/ALT in the blood is directly related to the e... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495796 Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:22:00 +0100 495796 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495797&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fangry-patients-press-1-pissed-patients.html GURRRRRLLLLLLLL! Today my frustration factor is through the freaking roof. It just so happens that today doctor offices win the Most Ignunt and Annoying People of the Day Award. Here is the story.When I got my health insurance in June I had to select a primary care physician. I cannot tell you how sad I was when I found out that the doctor (Workowski) who has treated me now for over a year and half could not be my PCP. That’s alright I said to myself I will just find another doctor who practices at Crawford Long Hospital and that certainly will make things easier. Well I found a doctor who practices medicine on the exact same floor as my Infectious Disease doctor, just on the opposite side of the hall named Dr. Jones. HOW FLIPPIN’ SWEET IS THAT, I said to myself. Well I called and was ... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495797 Tue, 25 Jul 2006 20:08:00 +0100 495797 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495798&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fim-not-available-right-nowleave.html Apparently my car has become a message service.  As I was getting ready to do some errands I go to my car and there on my windshield was a card.  Remembering that when my wallet was stolen someone put my license on the windshield as well (review blog posting, I’ve Died…This is Hell).  Anyway I got the card and it was from a neighbor across the street.  Two weeks ago Jarred and I were walking down our street and he noticed someone was passed out and neighbors standing around her.  Well we went over there to ensure that she was alright and she banged herself up pretty badly.  No one present (with the exception of yours truly) was certified in First Aid.  So until the ambulance got to us I constantly did pulse checks, m... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495798 Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:50:00 +0100 495798 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495799&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fellis-islandwe-hardly-knew-ye.html Alright well I am going to take this blog posting in a whole new direction. Typically the only time I get political on my blog is when it deals specifically with HIV/AIDS issues in politics. However, I am going to take a new direction today by actually addressing immigration laws. Before I get started I want to make one thing clear…I am NOT against immigration. America was founded by immigrants. My family over the course of time immigrated here. So I am all for it. What I am not for however, is having to change my way of life because of immigration. When my family came here years ago I can assure you that no one catered to them. They had to learn American English (and yes there is a difference), they had to learn the laws of the land, and most importantly they had to be documented. Ellis... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495799 Fri, 14 Jul 2006 20:11:00 +0100 495799 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495800&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Five-diedthis-is-hell.html As you can tell from the title this past weekend was hellacious!  Saturday Jarred and I went out to eat at Sonny’s BBQ for lunch.  While we were there I removed my keys, wallet (it’s really fat) and cell phone from my pocket and put it safely on the bench beside me.  Well we got up I gathered my belongings and we left.  About an hour or so later I realized that my wallet was not in my back pocket!  I called the restaurant and no one turned it in.  (  So I called Atlanta Police Department they came out to the restaurant (it was about 9:00 now) and filed a report.  I was bummed because I was afraid that I was not going to be able to get into my favorite hangout because it’s 21 and up.  Well I call... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495800 Mon, 10 Jul 2006 20:43:00 +0100 495800 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495801&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fjust-as-side-note.html I realized today that the vast majority of the people that comment on my blog are anonymous. Having come to said realization I know that would obviously create hesitation in possibly purchasing an HIV/AIDS awareness ribbon. Understanding that you have never met me I can appreciate the difficulty of this situation. I do want you to know that as a licensed professional in the psychiatric community I do uphold your fundamental right to privacy and assure you that discretion will be used. Meaning that after the order is placed and shipped your information will be destroyed. Seeing as how this is a grassroots campaign credit cards are of course not accepted and all checks are to be made out to the Atlanta Interfaith AIDS Network. If there are questions regarding the validity of this organizatio... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495801 Thu, 06 Jul 2006 18:55:00 +0100 495801 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495802&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Fribbons-for-all-and-general-update.html This blog posting is going to cover a general update on things and some random ideas that I am currently thinking about.  So if it seems a little difficult to follow it may just be.       I have been getting a few e-mails asking how Pride was.  Pride was…pride was…pride was testing this year.  I have to say that despite our main stage falling on Friday night (only ONE minor injury) and festivities being cancelled on Sunday due to rain that the volunteers and Board of Directors did a hell of a job.  Having never really had a crisis like the stage falling and tents blowing over during a horrible wind storm we managed to evacuate the park and ensure no one seriously got hurt.  Having a disaster plan is on... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495802 Thu, 06 Jul 2006 01:53:00 +0100 495802 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495803&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F07%2Flatitude-and-longitude-unknown.html Puddin' (my nickname given to me by my inner circle) is not in a good place right now. I am concerned because I still haven't heard about my latest labs regarding resistance and there are a couple of other areas that are fuzzy right now. I hate the utter feeling of being lost and not knowing the general direction that I am travelling in. While it is not natural to know everything about the situation you are in it honestly is not something that I am accustomed to. Although it seems that most of my friends are having the summer blues of some sorts. Maybe we are just on a wierd planetary cycle right now where the heavens are just testing us. I am grateful that I have friends that I can share my problems with and hope they feel the same way. (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495803 Mon, 03 Jul 2006 18:13:00 +0100 495803 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495804&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F06%2Fmothers-view.html Growing up my family and I were a very close knit.  We had our ups and downs as most families do, but we still loved each other in spite of our differences (  My mother and I have a very unique relationship.  We certainly didn’t see eye to eye when I told her I was gay.  She was pretty angry actually.  Then when I got sick she prayed with everything in her heart that it wasn’t HIV/AIDS…of course it was.  She struggled a lot internally and searched for answers to questions that most parents didn’t have the guts to ask.  Below is an article that my mother wrote entitled “HIV/AIDS a Mother’s View”.  I am making this blog posting to honor my mother for growing and not standing still.In January 2004 my... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495804 Mon, 26 Jun 2006 18:55:00 +0100 495804 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495805&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F06%2Five-got-secret.html At the beginning of last month GSN (Gameshow Network) was here in Atlanta doing a contestant search for next season. The best secrets were selected from every city and put on their website for voting. Well mine was selected! To view my secret and others simply go to the link below. Thanks :)James wants you to check out this video at GSN.com/Secret: http://www.gsn.com/secret/index.php?videoID=46 (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495805 Mon, 26 Jun 2006 17:23:00 +0100 495805 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495806&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F05%2Fvirologic-failure.html The results are in. I am on virologic failure number three. My viral load has gone from 4.000 two weeks ago to 40,400. My CD-4 count went up slightly to 602, however, that is due to the rapid progression of the HIV. Over the course of the next few weeks my CD-4 count will drop again in response to the escalating viral load. My doctor drew labs today to check which medication I am resistant to and what needs to be changed. It takes a few weeks for that particular test to come in and when it does I will post the results for all of you :) (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495806 Mon, 22 May 2006 18:49:00 +0100 495806 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495807&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F05%2Flab-updates.html I had my new set of labs drawn on Wednesday the 17th.  I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday the 22nd to review the results.  In this set of labs they are testing for the following:  testosterone levels, CD-4 count, and a ultra sensitive HIV viral load test (ultra sensitive is the one that can detect below than 50).  When I have the results in a few days I will post them along with any new treatment options that are given to me. (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495807 Sat, 20 May 2006 18:46:00 +0100 495807 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495808&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F05%2Fi-call-bullsh.html So I went for my checkup with my doctor this morning and the results are in.  My  CD-4 (T-cell) count in March was at 925 and now they are down to 511 and my viral load which has been undetectable since August is now up to 4,000.  Amazing that a “largely undetectable virus” or an “inactive virus” can deplete my immune system.  Whoda thunk?  I obviously am not dealing to well with the news.  My doctor is doing repeat tests in two weeks to see in changing my meds needs to be the next step.  Write more then. (Source: Still arriving.) Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495808 Mon, 01 May 2006 17:56:00 +0100 495808 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=495809&cid=s_35280_135_f&fid=35280&url=http%3A%2F%2Fstillarriving.blogspot.com%2F2006%2F04%2Fwhy-i-fight-hiv.html This post is being made to recant an article written by a wonderfully articulate, intelligent, but absolutely ignorant woman by the name of Rebecca Culshaw PhD.  I no way am I going to attack her level of degree because I know I am proud of my B.A. Below is a link to the article that she wrote late 2005 entitled “Why I Quit HIV”http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig7/culshaw1.htmlThe purpose of my blog posting is to combat the “truths” that she brought to light in her article.  I highly encourage you to FIRST read her article as I will be selecting pieces of that to combat specifically.  I would like for you to keep in mind that she is NO WAY a serologist or a doctor but simply a biology mathematician!  Here we go…In the fourth paragraph she state... Still arriving. blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=495809 Thu, 27 Apr 2006 21:22:00 +0100 495809