MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'al anon'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:24:27 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5182331&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-does-letting-go-mean%2F Let go as they fall “To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means ’I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, its the realization I can’t control another human. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reali... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5182331 Wed, 31 Aug 2011 17:16:04 +0100 5182331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5169713&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fam-i-an-alcoholic%2F Individual drinking habits may be found on a continuum from responsible drinking through alcohol abuse to alcoholism, or physical dependence. There are many signs that may point to an alcohol problem. Drunkenness on its own or solitary drinking does not necessarily indicate alcoholism. The questionnaire will be meaningful to you only if you are honest with yourself when taking it. The important question is: Is your use of alcohol creating significant negative consequences in your life? Do you sometimes drink heavily after a setback or an argument, or when you receive a poor grade? When you experience trouble or are undergoing stress, do you always drink more heavily than usual? Can you handle more liquor now than you could when you first began drinking? Have you ever awakened the “... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5169713 Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:30:01 +0100 5169713 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5125970&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-purpose-of-alateen%2F Alateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members. The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service. The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity. What Alateen members learn compulsive drinking is a disease. they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person. they are not the cause of anyone else’... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5125970 Thu, 11 Aug 2011 19:49:32 +0100 5125970 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103517&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fco-dependent-relapse%2F A Checklist of Symptoms Leading to Co-dependent Relapse: Co-dependent : A Person who has let someone else’s behavior affect him or her and is obsessed with controlling others behaviour Denial Patterns: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others. Low Self-esteem Patterns: I have difficulty making decisions. I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never “good enough.” I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behaviors over my own. I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person. Compliance Patterns: I c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103517 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 15:48:00 +0100 5103517 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5097101&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F24-workplace-actions-of-acoas%2F Adult Children of Alcoholism / Addiction in the Workplace ACOA’s often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true co-dependency style these often confuse and confound us. Some of these are; We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood. We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships. We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job. Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them. We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5097101 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:47:09 +0100 5097101 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5078041&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fteens-its-not-your-fault%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!   Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5078041 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 04:07:53 +0100 5078041 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029222&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbeyond-co-dependency%2F : And Getting Better All the Time By Melody Beattie A book for any one who has had a relationship with an alcohol, addict or compulsive gambler. Adult Children of Alcoholism / addiction, wives, husbands, parents &etc. Review By Neal J. Pollock (VA USA) While I have not read Melody Beattie’s other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the obvious signs of co-dependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship. I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards co-dependency, but there may also be peopl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029222 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:47:07 +0100 5029222 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5008669&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F12-12th-step-activities%2F Service to Others in Sobriety This twelth step work activity list was developed by talking to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous members for a research project. They seem to apply to all 12 Step Fellowships. Took calls or spent time with a sponsee Guided an alcoholic/addict through the 12-Steps Held a service position in a 12-Step program (Within meetings; coffee maker, door greeter, chairperson, secretary, treasurer) (Outside of meetings: service delegate, public outreach organizer (i.e. jails, etc.), literature delegate). Say something positive to an alcoholic/addict Listened to an alcoholic/addict for at least 10 minutes at meetings, on the phone or face-to-face Say hello to a newcomer Reached out to an alcoholic/addict having a hard time Shared personal story wi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5008669 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 15:42:00 +0100 5008669 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4953373&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F12-steps-for-a-sponsor%2F Twelve Steps of SponsorshipThese can be applied to all 12-Step anonymous fellowships such as Al-anon, Alateen, Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous etcI will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.I cannot give you dreams or “fix you up” simply because I cannot.I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain.I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4953373 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:36:13 +0100 4953373 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893923&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstages-in-the-alcoholic-family%2F Chaos in alcoholic familiesA family with an alcohol in its midst will go through several stages in dealing with the chaos and disruption caused by the alcoholic. These stages are described below in order of appearance.Denial: Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away by both marriage partners. Drinking because of tiredness, worry, or a bad day is not unbelievable. The assumption is that the episode is isolated and is, therefore, not a problem.Attempts to Eliminate the Problem:The non-alcoholic spouse realizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to pressure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. At the same time, the spouse tries to hide the problems from the outside and keep up a good.front. Children may start t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893923 Fri, 03 Jun 2011 19:03:25 +0100 4893923 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872481&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Ffht-X0H6iyI%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!  Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation and it’s important to addr... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872481 Mon, 09 May 2011 15:34:00 +0100 4872481 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4696958&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-12-step-recovery-program%2F Families of alcoholics / addicts often walk on eggsFor those who don’t know or have never heard of Al-anon, it is a 12-step recovery program that is the counter-part to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step recovery program. It was initiated by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson; one of the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous) as a safe haven and support group for anyone who is dealing with a loved ones alcoholism (and/or drug addiction)I have been attending Al-anon meetings for 20 years and came away from my first meeting thinking…”What a bunch of losers, as well as… I heard some interesting things here.”As a professional family substance abuse counselor, I encourage my clients to attend Al-anon and find out if it is something they wish to incorporate in t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4696958 Fri, 08 Apr 2011 16:23:02 +0100 4696958 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4560607&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fam-i-controlling-2%2F Some insightful questions to examine possible relationship problems in recovery.I must be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.I value other’s approval of my thinking, feelings and behaviors over my own.I agree with others so they will like me.I focus my attention on protecting others, even from themselves.I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.I keep score of "good deeds and favors," becoming very hurt when they are not repaid.I am very skilled at guessing how other people are feeling.I can anticipate others’ needs and desire, meeting them before they are asked to be met.I become resentful when others will not let me help them.I am calm and efficient in other people’s crisis situations.I feel good about ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4560607 Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:25:00 +0100 4560607 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4545258&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frosebud-and-the-12-steps%2F Having been ship wrecked by the sea of alcoholism, Rosebud hits rock bottom and lands in the Cocoon where she makes astounding discoveries by finding the Twelve Steps.On an island far away Meggy Snail and Miranda Starfish hike to a mountain top where they converse with the Talking Tree of Hope, spend nights under the stars and attend a camp fire meeting filled with colorful characters.Rosebud later discovers treasures beneath the sand in ribbon wrapped boxes.The difficult subject of alcoholism is illuminated in a new and creative way through fantasy creatures and their separate journeys.The second section of the book gives insight into the Al-Anon program through the author’s personal journey.Not only are meetings described but her lessons learned may help the reader look within.In a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4545258 Thu, 03 Mar 2011 16:12:00 +0100 4545258 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489985&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEsEBu0zngAk%2F These symptoms and characteristics of the thoughts and actions of a codependent are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.Denial Symptoms: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.Low Self Esteem Symptoms: I have difficulty making decisions.I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.I value others approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.Compliance Symptoms: I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others anger... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489985 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:02 +0100 4489985 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489986&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZa0qJUk3-VE%2F Stop Enabling the AlcoholicDiscontinuing “enabling,” along with putting the onus for the drinker’s behavior and its consequences on the drinker.Do not cover up for them. Let them be responsible for their actions.Accept your responsibility, if any, for enabling, and then transfer 100 percent of the responsibility back to the alcoholic once you have talked it over.He or she is then unable to use you as an excuse.Enabling includes protecting the problem drinker from the negative consequences of alcohol use. After all, if someone makes excuses when you miss appointments because of drinking too much, reheats dinner because you’ve missed it after stopping at the bar on the way home from work, readily has sex with you even if you’re drunk, or lends you money every time you lose your job... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489986 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:00 +0100 4489986 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4470532&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcoholism-affects-the-entire-family-2%2F …Not Just the AlcoholicHow many people are involved in the life of any one alcoholic? Family, friends, employer, co-workers… It is important to remember that all these people are affected by alcoholism-not just the alcoholic. Many of them spend a lot of time and energy trying to "fix" the alcoholic: covering up for them, punishing them, taking responsibility for them.For over 56 years, Al-Anon Family Groups (including Alateen for younger members) has been providing help and hope to families and friends of alcoholics. In non-professional, mutual support meetings, members share their own experience, strength, and hope to help one another to recover from the effects of alcoholism. Living with alcoholism has been described as living on a merry-go-round, where each family memb... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4470532 Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:25:00 +0100 4470532 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4439026&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecognizing-co-dependency%2F Alcoholism may be a disease of isolation, but it is rarely an individual problem. Understanding how "enabling" works is the first step in helping both the alcoholic and the co-dependent seek help.Enabling is any action by another person or an institution that intentionally or unintentionally has the effect of facilitating the continuation of an individual’s addictive process.Who Is An Enabler? Most often, enablers are persons who genuinely care about the alcoholic — family, friends, co-workers, clergy.Their love and concern, unfortunately, often leads them to do things that actually help the alcoholic stay that way.They "cover" for the alcoholic, inventing excuses for absenteeism, tardiness, or inappropriate behavior.They "save" the alcoholic by taking... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4439026 Sat, 05 Feb 2011 15:12:00 +0100 4439026 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4429230&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falateens-purpose-2%2F Cover via AmazonAlateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service.The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.What Alateen members learncompulsive drinking is a disease.they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.they are not the cause of anyone... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4429230 Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:04:36 +0100 4429230 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4411728&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fyour-loved-ones-addiction%2F Educating Yourself About Your Loved One’s AddictionRegardless of the status of your loved one’s recovery program or lack thereof, I recommend to clients that they educate themselves about substance abuse to discover as much as they can on a personal level.We all know knowledge is power, therefore the more you learn, the calmer your state of mind will be.Concepts to ExploreHere are some concepts to consider which may help when furthering your education of your loved ones addiction issues (they are expanded upon in the original article, see below): Do Your Own Research on AddictionBe Wary of Well-Meaning AdviceBe Mindful of Who You Talk ToAttend Open Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings (meetings open to anyone with or without an addiction issue)Attend Al-Anon meetings (meetings for the... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4411728 Fri, 28 Jan 2011 15:09:00 +0100 4411728 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4382953&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F7-cs-for-alcoholic-detachment%2F Image via WikipediaChildren, Adult Children and partners of alcoholics often develop seven ways or attitudes to deal with the drinker. These are;Guilt and shame implied by the alcoholic about causing them to drink excessivelyIf I caused alcoholism, I must be able to find a remedyIf I can’t cure it I can control the behaviour and drinkingAvoiding self-care in deference to the alcoholics needsFearfully not expressing own needs and feelingsMaking poorly considered decisions – unhealthy, irrationalBelittling self, abilities, accomplishments and potentialIn recovery children of alcoholics and co-dependents learn to reverse these attitudes. Quite simply these principles are life attitudes.The Seven C’s of Another Persons Alcoholism – DetachmentI didn’t Cause itI can’t Cur... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4382953 Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:40:00 +0100 4382953 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4352855&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftypes-of-12-step-meetings-2%2F Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery.The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are:OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem.Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the programAt the end of the meeting there is usually a period for lo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4352855 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:44:01 +0100 4352855 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4305111&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomen-the-12-steps-of-aa%2F 12 Steps lead women upwardsWomen and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: A Gendered NarrativeThis paper examines how women “work” the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) from a gendered perspective.Feminist critics of AA havechallenged the language of AA’s Twelve Steps,the spiritual nature of the steps, andthe male-dominated culture of the Twelve-Step program.This paper offers insight into how women in AA approach, interpret, and utilize the Twelve Steps to recover from alcoholism.Through survey and narrative data, findings suggeststhat women working AA’s Twelve Steps become empowered andchange for the better in spite of the male-dominated culture and language of the Twelve Steps andregardless of the difficulty they may have encountered in completing these steps.In part... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4305111 Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:21:02 +0100 4305111 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287585&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FN0vztXo_0FE%2F Image via WikipediaMany areas of our life need healing.One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency.Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for others or ourselves.Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.Some of us may have... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287585 Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:44:00 +0100 4287585 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287588&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6iKgemJAL-0%2F During the past 12 months how often have you: Given money to your partner thinking he/she might buy alcohol or drugs with it?Purchased alcohol or drugs for your partner?Taken over your partner’s typical chores and responsibilities neglected because of his/her drinking or drug use?Lied or made excuses to family or friends to hide your partner’s drinking or drug use?Drank or used drugs with your partner, or in your partner’s presence?Told your partner that it was okay to drink or use drugs on certain days or for special family or social gatherings?Borrowed money to pay bills caused by your partner’s drinking or drug use?Changed or cancelled family plans or social activities because your partner was drinking, using drugs, or hungover?Had sex with your partner when you ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287588 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:19:00 +0100 4287588 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287590&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FlQa8_FSAwnc%2F .A new research study reveals a strong link between alcohol dependency and gambling problems, Reuters reported.According to researchers at the Research Institute on Addictions at the University at Buffalo, N.Y., adults with an alcohol addiction are 23 times more likely to have a gambling problem than those who do not drink.“If you’re in trouble with alcohol, the odds you’re also in trouble with gambling increase enormously,” said lead author Dr. John W. Welte. “Most of that correlation is that problem behaviors tend to cluster in the same people.”The study also found factors that identified which racial and ethnic groups were more likely to have a gambling problem. “Gambling is more common among lower socioeconomic people, blacks and Hispanics, than among ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287590 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:57:02 +0100 4287590 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4266280&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-mp3-podcasts%2F An official Al-anon MP3 websiteFor over 55 years, Al-Anon (which includes Alateen for younger members) has been offering strength and hope for friends and families of problem drinkers. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people… alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon/Alateen fellowship.New Podcast website Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.Drinking During the HolidaysJanie, Ern... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4266280 Wed, 15 Dec 2010 16:16:27 +0100 4266280 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4259200&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fputting-the-pieces-back-together%2F Image via WikipediaPutting the pieces back together – Ed Grisamore – Macon.com.I met with two women one afternoon last week, and we talked about putting things together. Actually, it was more like putting things back together. A self-repair shop.Carol and Donna are members of Al-Anon. This is why, for confidentiality reasons, I will not publish their last names.This is not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous, but Al-Anon follows the same 12-step and 12-tradition program that have become the model for AA. The only requirement for membership in Al-Anon is to have been affected by someone else’s drinking or substance abuse.Al-Anon meetings are not guilt trips, blame games or dress rehearsals on how to play the victim.They practice the three “C’s” at Al-Anon.“I didn�... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4259200 Tue, 14 Dec 2010 10:52:08 +0100 4259200 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287581&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2Fnz4ptnbbE0g%2F /Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. Examined the processes through which 20 committed members (aged 29-52 yrs) of self-help groups for adult children of alcoholics experience alterations in their perceptions of family of origin.Results suggest that world view transformation in the family of origin domain involves;learning to define the family as pathological,assigning responsibility for this pathology to a disease,forgiving oneself,accepting that one was adversely affected by the family’s problem, andultimately learning to accept one’s parents’ shortcomings.Humphreys, Keith. World view change in Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy. Vol 46(2), Ap... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287581 Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:37:02 +0100 4287581 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4203318&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fnew-aa-speaker-tapes-mp3%2F A new collection of Speaker Tapes has been found in America. The collection of MP3 tracks includes; Alcoholics Anonymous AA Founders AA Pioneers Big Book Authors Al-anon Narcotics Anonymous This library of tapes is estimated at 50,000 on wire recordings, reel-to-reel tapes, cassettes and dates back to the 1940′s. Collected by Bill and Arbutus O’Neal of Texas. This collection is progressively being converted to MP3 however there are currently several hundred available for free down load. These AA speaker tapes are mostly American but there are talks from Australia, Britain, Germany and Tokyo. Go to; Recovery Speakers Donations to the project are welcome Related articles MP3 Recovery Tracks for Lesbians in AA (recoveryissexy.com) The AA Tools of Recovery (recoveryi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4203318 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 15:19:00 +0100 4203318 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4187056&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FqPmRjnYgmms%2F This article explores the roots and spiritual dimensions of 12-step recovery programs. It further explores the ways in which theoretical and clinical knowledge about the delivery of spiritual care interventions may be gained from an understanding of AA’s spiritual approach to recovery.Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing; Lessons in Holism and Spiritual Care. Eileen M. McGee, J Holist Nurs 2000; 18; 11.Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption.Random ArticlesBrain Damage & CirrhosisTreating Alcoholism as a Chronic DiseaseAdjunctive therapyThe Experiences of Alcohol DependenceThe Brief-TSF Model (Source: Twelve Step Facilitation.com) Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4187056 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 18:27:40 +0100 4187056 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4119727&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fforgiveness-of-self-2%2F Image via Wikipedia I have studied many ways to self-forgiveness and have found this to be the definitive document on the why, who, how and where of forgiveness. Recovering members of 12-Step fellowships, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, ACOA, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, may find this helpful. It is important to forgive ourselves for our own confusion and unhappiness. It’s important to forgive ourselves for our own failures and stuckness––for the dreams, desires and visions that did not come true. If it seems that we may go unfulfilled in the ways we expected or strived for, we must be especially kind to ourselves in self-forgiveness. It is also important to forgive ourselves for the wounds we carry and the harm we caused others. Through the medium of prayer or me... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4119727 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:53:00 +0100 4119727 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982125&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FP1MAAuSR4k0%2F Research proves that the Al Anon method of encouragement and support is the best way to help a recovering alcoholic / addict stay sober A recent American clinical study examined the effect of perceived criticism on relapse back to substance abuse, and found that the perception of criticism was a very significant factor leading to relapse. Families can best help in the recovery process by remaining encouraging and supportive, and additionally attending both therapy with the alcoholic, as well as some form of family support organization. The Al Anon philosophy: Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. I�... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982125 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:39:07 +0100 3982125 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3946694&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdefinition-of-codependency%2F Codependency is a condition that results in a dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people.  A codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed.  Enabling This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other person to continue to be needy.  This behavior is called enabling.  The enabler will purposefully overlook someone abusing a child, will call in sick for someone suffering from addiction, will put roadblocks to prevent their child from becoming independent, or even keep a sick family member from getting the treatment that would make them well.  These are behaviors common to codependents.  A codependent often suffers from a ‘Messiah Complex’ where he sees problems with everyone ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3946694 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:10:00 +0100 3946694 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3933269&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-on-youtube%2F Al-Anon Speaks for Itself Part 1 A wife, father, husband, and daughter describe what it is like to love someone who has a drinking problem – an alcoholic. The wife says, "I didn’t live in reality at all. I covered up and made believe." The father says, "When the police came and told me the charges against my son, it was unbelievable. To see my son taken away in handcuffs was the most difficult day of my life." To the right of the YouTube panel you will find other videos about Al-anon. Click here for the YouTube video; Al-Anon Speaks for Itself Part 1 See also; Al-Anon May be able to help Alcoholic Family Roles Lifeskills for Adult Children Choicemaking Share, print or e-mail this articleAl-anon Speaks for ItselfAlcohol and the FamilySex Addictio... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3933269 Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:22:17 +0100 3933269 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3907789&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchanging-roles-in-the-family-disease-of-alcoholism%2F Changing The Part We Play In The Family Disease of Alcoholism Quotes from the Book "How Al-Anon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics" p32-33 Recovery ‘…the most helpful and most loving action any family member can take is to get help for ourselves. By recovering from the effects of this disease we become able to stop playing our part in the family disease. The balance is disrupted. Suddenly it is no longer so comfortable for the alcoholic. We cannot make choices for other people, even those mast important to us. We are not gods, and we can’t truly know what is best for anyone else, no matter how obvious a particular course of action may seem to us at the time. Most of us had to hit a "bottom" in personal agony, before we were ready to make... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3907789 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:37:00 +0100 3907789 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3876898&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadult-children-of-alcoholics-can-practice-being-normal-2%2F “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. "I know what it is to be codependent. I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parents, but struggle with how to do it. They have some notions that are guided by prin... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3876898 Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:57:00 +0100 3876898 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3858387&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdetachment-with-love%2F Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. In Al-Anon we learn: Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people; Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery; Not to do for others what they could do for themselves; Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink; Not to cover up for an... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3858387 Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:35:47 +0100 3858387 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833565&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-and-alcoholic-family-roles-2%2F One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviors in alcoholic families is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981). In this model children adopt various coping and enabling roles. Little caretaker The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their Behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment. Family hero The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabli... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833565 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:17:00 +0100 3833565 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3816766&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fletting-go-of-blame%2F Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.” When we understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that affects the drinker as well as those close to the drinker, we realize that blame is as relevant with this disease as it is with diabetes or Alzheimer’s. The more we know about the disease we are dealing with, the better we are able to make healthy choices as to how we react. “Many of the symptoms of alcoholism are in the behavior of the alcoholic. The people who are involved with the alcoholic react to his behavior. They try to control it, make up for it, or h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3816766 Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:41:00 +0100 3816766 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808846&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-23rd-psalm-for-recovery%2F Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship. The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want. He makes me to go to many meetings. He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health. He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake. He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first. He makes me more humble and grateful. He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference. Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil. Fo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808846 Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:00:01 +0100 3808846 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808848&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhalt-for-health%2F HALT. Don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. As a codependent I use this reminder to help me set healthy limits for myself, which I never learned as a child of an alcoholic. In the past, I often believed I should be able to go for days without food or sleep. I also tested the limits of my ability to handle enormous doses of stress and isolation without tending to my own emotional needs. Al-Anon has taught me a gentler, simpler way of caring for myself. I find it of great benefit to have a brief list of the most basic areas in which I neglect my own well-being: nourishment, emotional wellness, fellowship, and physical rest. First, is my stomach rumbling? Then I need to stop what I’m doing and eat some food. Am I too angry about the trivial details of my life? If so ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808848 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:49:00 +0100 3808848 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3798830&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-sick-cycle-of-dependency-2%2F Being dependent on others almost comes natural when we are in a state of confusion. We seek others opinions, beliefs, and advice. What others say, if we place them in a position of authority, becomes "The Word." Unfortunately, the advice and opinion of the other person, is really a form of "approval" that we seek. The "approval" we seek is not healthy for the relationship. It forms a relationship of "one up and one down" (someone higher or a "step above" us). Doing Too Much To Cover Up Our Needs Unfortunately, no one can really give you advice as a prescription to your situation. Because no one really knows you, and knows ALL your history, and your ENTIRE situation. But because of alcoholism or in fact, anything that may be creating a huge ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3798830 Wed, 28 Jul 2010 14:57:19 +0100 3798830 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3763064&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FdNyj1oSWx7o%2F Alcoholism is a worldwide issue, causing problems not only for the drinker but for everyone else connected with that person as well. People who are sometimes called codependents. Every alcoholic affects at least 4 other people, many of them children troubled by their parents’ drinking. Often, these young people have nowhere to turn for help. This is where Alateen comes in. Alateen is fellowship of young relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together to discuss their difficulties, encourage one another, and learn how to cope with their problems. These young people are often introduced to Alateen by concerned friends, neighbors, school counselors, and clergy. Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups which helps those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3763064 Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:36:00 +0100 3763064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3754082&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F_Xb1IIrPztQ%2F The AA and Al-anon comic books illustrate the process to alcoholism and recovery. Ethan Persoff provides a complete set of the 1968-1974 Al-anon and Alcoholics Anonymous comic strips now available at this website. See also; Tools of Recovery 12 Step Sponsor - - Share, print or e-mail this article Recovery Books, Medallions & DVD's (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3754082 Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:47:00 +0100 3754082 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3730105&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomens-sexual-health%2F Women Say Sexual Health Issues Impact Multiple Aspects of Their Lives. Many women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, compulsive gambling or co-dependency may identify with this survey. The women included were heterosexual, lesbian and/or bisexual. National Survey Shows 70% of Women Have Experienced a Sexual Health Issue A new survey released today shows 70 percent of women report having experienced a sexual health issue, of which 22 percent felt very or extremely concerned. The survey also found that many women claim they would be comfortable talking to a health care provider about a sexual health issue, but less than one-fifth (18%) actually visited their health care provider when they experienced one. The survey, commissioned by the US National Women’s Health Resource Center (... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3730105 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:27:01 +0100 3730105 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3701811&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-friend-or-partners-excessive-drinking%2F Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. These questions can help you decide if you are involved with an excessive drinker. Do you worry about how much someone else drinks? Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking? Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking? Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking, to please you? Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions? Are plans frequently upset, or cancelled, or meals delayed because of the drinker? Do you make threats, such as, "If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you"? Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath? Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a dr... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3701811 Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:51:08 +0100 3701811 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3691117&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F5-friendship-themes-from-sex-and-the-city-2%2F Friends as Family. Members of 12 Step Fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics will recognise these themes as being part and parcel of everyday life in recovery. These themes may also be familiar to one of the stars, Kirsten Davis, who is in recovery from alcoholism. An Indiana University press release says; Remember The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink? These films illustrate what Maresa Murray calls the "friends as family" concept. Today, television viewers see a myriad of shows with similar themes. Think Sex and the City, Entourage, Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle. "We are currently seeing some of the same themes from 20-25 years ago in families, relationships and media," says Murray. "One ex... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3691117 Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:06:00 +0100 3691117 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3687363&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fspouses-of-alcoholics%2F Alcoholic Partner’s Criticism Linked to Relapse – ‘But not All’ A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Ala-anon’s purpose of offering "understanding and encouragement" to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation. The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive. The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race. Al-Anon is a support group... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3687363 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:55:00 +0100 3687363 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3672056&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcohol-collateral-damage%2F Al-anon  Studies have found that when actively drinking, an alcoholic affects at least four people around him or her. According to members of Alanon (a 12-step support group for relatives and friends of alcoholics), spouses and children of alcoholics often suffer from depression, mood swings, anger, guilt, and resentment of their situation and a feeling of isolation. Ariel S., a long-time member of Alanon, said, "My husband was addicted to alcohol and I was addicted to him." She said that after she went to her first Alanon meeting, she learned what is called the "3 Cs." I didn’t cause alcoholism, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it,’" she said. Learning that alcoholism was a disease helped her understand her husband’s ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3672056 Wed, 16 Jun 2010 16:09:00 +0100 3672056 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656943&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fzen-and-a-cup-of-tea%2F Balanced life of Zen When ever I consider Steps 4 to 9 of the 12-Step program I know I am emptying my cup of memories from my drinking days. I know that when the cup is drained I can be my true self. And, that process of draining my cup goes on continuously. A Zen story explains; Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?” This may apply equally ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656943 Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:54:01 +0100 3656943 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3652696&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-skeptics-guide-to-aa-2%2F Undrunk; A Skeptics Guide to AA – A Recovery Book In this unprecedented book, A.J. Adams uses self-deprecating humor, entertaining anecdotes, and frank descriptions to introduce readers to the complete Alcoholics Anonymous ‘undrunk’ lifestyle. Beginning with the story of his first AA meeting, he takes the mystery out what goes on behind closed doors, in order to encourage addicts who are reluctant to get help walk through them. "My eyes wandered around the room, taking in the strange collection of humanity seeking to claim me as a fellow sufferer. If variety is the spice of life, this crowd was the jambalaya of affliction." Adams addresses the journey through detox and treatment, offering his own struggle of coming to terms with his alcoholism. He then presents ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3652696 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 17:44:00 +0100 3652696 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3652697&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-relationship-myths%2F Ah, relationships in recovery. How delightful, how satisfying, how frustrating, how disastrous. Take your pick or apply any other expression. It does not matter how we describe relationships in recovery the fact is we may be learning or relearning facts-of-life. When we are clean and sober we look at relationships differently, and, as we progress in the program we change our perspectives. Many long term Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA) members say we should keep out of new relationships for the first 12 months on the program. That’s probably good advice especially when we look at some of the common myths of relationships. We are having enough trouble trying to re-establish a relationship with ourselves let alone with another perso... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3652697 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:55:00 +0100 3652697 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3645061&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhelp-an-alcoholic-5-2%2F Seek help It’s dumbfounding to learn that some never seek help of any kind with severe alcohol abuse. One wife says, "If my husband had sought help, he would have been admitting how serious my problem was. It was a big family secret." But other people emphasize the importance of not going it alone when someone you care about has a drinking problem. This comment captures the essence of many suggestions: "Join a support group to keep your own life buoyant and prosperous and to analyze your own negative coping strategies." Not surprisingly, many people who take traditional twelve-step recovery routes suggested going to Al-Anon, also a twelve-step-based program. Also, a number of people make a general comment that family and friends should seek counselling for their ow... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3645061 Wed, 09 Jun 2010 15:33:00 +0100 3645061 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3641331&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcoholism-is-a-family-disease%2F Family Recovery Family recovery is one of the keys to treatment for alcoholism. Alcoholics and alcohol abusers attract more public attention, but their families and friends also suffer long-term effects from alcoholism-and their recovery may be essential to the alcoholic’s recovery, according to a leading researcher in the field. “Alcoholism is a family disease. While it is important for the family to support the alcoholic’s recovery, it is also important for members of the family to get involved in their own recovery. Family recovery decreases the chances that the children of alcoholics will repeat the pattern and engage in unhealthy relationships,” said Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics and director of the Mid-Atla... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3641331 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:07:01 +0100 3641331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3641332&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-12-step-recovery-program-love-it-or-leave-it%2F For those who don’t know or have never heard of Al-anon, it is a 12-step recovery program that is the counter-part to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step recovery program. It was initiated by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson; one of the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous) as a safe haven and support group for anyone who is dealing with a loved ones alcoholism (and/or drug addiction) Attendee’s include wives, husbands, partners, parents and adult children of alcoholics/ addicts. Young children of alcoholics attend Alateen sponsored by Al-anon. I have been attending Al-anon meetings for 20 years and came away from my first meeting thinking…"What a bunch of losers, as well as… I heard some interesting things here." As a professional family substance abus... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3641332 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:07:00 +0100 3641332 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3612063&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FTPFst3GR8wo%2F Alateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members. The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service. The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend. Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity. What Alateen members learn compulsive drinking is a disease. they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person. they are not the cause of anyone else’... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3612063 Sat, 29 May 2010 16:11:00 +0100 3612063 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607826&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falateen-acceptance%2F Whenever we Alateen members met with Al-Anon, I felt doubtful. I didn’t think adults could help me in any way, because they were sure to have the same sick attitudes as my alcoholic parents. I would think to myself, "Oh great, here we go again." But I was the one with the sick attitude. I had closed my mind, not only to my parents, but to all adults. I brought this attitude to meetings, so I didn’t learn a thing. I had to deal with my old resentments before I could recognize the wonderful gift Al-Anon was offering. Here were people who could help me heal the wounds my parents’ drinking had left, and help me to know that it is safe to be a part of my world. It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away, but because I made the effort, I began to see that adu... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607826 Thu, 27 May 2010 15:38:00 +0100 3607826 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607827&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frewards-of-the-acoa-12-steps%2F ACOA works, it really works This is an extract of a post on an ACOA discussion group and is used with permission of the writer. You got me thinking..about how my life used to be before attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings versus today… I used to suffer depression but now with medication and therapy, I don’t I used to have rage attacks, but after working the 12 steps, I don’t I used to feel hopeless ad helpless but today I feel powerful and in control of my life I used to have NO relationship with my children but today they live 10 minutes from me and end every conversation with, I love you mom I used to have NO relationship with my grandchildren but today I am the BEST Nana I know of. I used to have a poor relationship with my hubby but today we are actually teaching ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607827 Tue, 25 May 2010 16:24:01 +0100 3607827 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3589049&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F9rA1gdDX8QY%2F What’s Your Greatest Asset? Amy Eden writes about the assets of ACOA’s. “I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel exasperated with the emphasis on problems tied to being the offspring of alcoholics. Today I need to hear the B side of the record, to think about our other characteristics.” Here are her first five assets of ACOA’s. YOU CAN EMPATHIZE YOU’RE INDEPENDENT YOU’RE CREATIVE YOU’RE RESILIENT YOU’RE CALM Full post at Guess What Normal Is. Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, DVD's & Medalions (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3589049 Wed, 19 May 2010 18:56:01 +0100 3589049 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3581857&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FM-DHjXM6q9I%2F The term “co-dependency” was coined more than 20 years ago by authors who studied the negative impact of drug and alcohol use on families. Since then, use of the term has been expanded to include a pattern of psychologically unhealthy behaviors that are learned by individuals as a way of coping with a family environment marked by ignored or denied emotional turmoil. Most people are able to enjoy a sense of healthy, mutual interdependence in their lives. However, people with co-dependency seem to habitually form relationships that are one-sided and emotionally destructive. The central feature of co-dependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships, usually in an attempt to avoid the feeling of abandonment. Signs and symptoms of co-dependency include: Controlling behavior M... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3581857 Wed, 19 May 2010 18:39:01 +0100 3581857 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3570066&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEMjAVyzMfXQ%2F Grief and recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency go hand-in-hand. This is an important recovery book. Quoting Groucho Marx, film director Woody Allen once said facetiously, "I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member." But there is a club so universal that adults join and rejoin it many times. The only requirement for membership is living in a world replete with change. Author Melody Beattie calls this unofficial club "The Grief Club" in her book of the same name. She says the club has many subgroups. She unwillingly joined the "My Child Died and My Heart is Broken and Nobody Gets It" subgroup in 1991, when her young son Shane died in a skiing accident. Years later, she became the member of other clubs too, suc... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3570066 Sun, 16 May 2010 18:33:00 +0100 3570066 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3542890&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F5t_yegZQXgU%2F Uniqueness: I value what is unique in me I value my own specialness and I dare to reveal it. Since the universe expresses itself through the differences in all of creation, I choose to acknowledge my own uniqueness. My inner self speaks through the nonconformity that I am. Today I applaud nonconformity and the differences within my life. I am free of the need to please others or to conform to what they are. When I am true to myself, I easily and lovingly express my own opinions and beliefs without fear of rejection. My self-worth is not on the line when I recognize the uniqueness in myself and others. I do not have to agree with everyone, and everyone does not have to agree with me. Belief in my differentness allows me to understand those who do not understand me. I praise my uniqueness an... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3542890 Thu, 06 May 2010 16:41:01 +0100 3542890 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3547013&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FgluO7X5_ONw%2F · A.A.’s 12-Step Recovery Program · Al-Anon Offers New Life · Alcohol and Anxiety · Alcohol Problems Database · Alcoholic Defence Mechanisms · Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing · An Introduction to Medication for Alcohol Dependence · Anti-Craving Drugs · Binge Drinking & Brain Damage · Brain Damage & Cirrhosis · Brief-TSF Description · Brief-TSF Learning Objectives · Buy Brief-TSF Random ArticlesManaging Addiction as a Chronic ConditionAlcohol use by healthcare professionals.Integrating Primary Medical Care With Addiction TreatmentStrategies for Dealing with Common ProblemsCharacteristics of Children of Alcoholics (Source: Twelve Step Facilitation.com) Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3547013 Tue, 04 May 2010 07:27:33 +0100 3547013 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3522834&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FiLUMsoNDk3Y%2F Detachment and recovery from alcoholism Like alcoholics themselves, the families and friends of alcoholics display symptoms denial, anxiety, guilt and require treatment. Al-Anon groups have proved to be an excellent resource for these people. But Al-Anon’s central concept, that of detachment, is resented and rejected by many prospective members of Al-Anon. Detachment involves realizing that the family member or friend cannot control the alcoholic’s behavior, accepting this powerlessness, and separating one’s self from the behavior though not from the person. It also means that family life must not revolve around the alcoholic’s problems and behavior and that the alcoholic must be allowed to take the consequences of his or her behavior. It does not m... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3522834 Sat, 01 May 2010 15:31:00 +0100 3522834 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3524458&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FCJmvl9mKIa0%2F Sobriety disc Twelve Step fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon, Cocaine Anonymous and others don’t just address the substance or overt behaviour. In progressing through the 12 Steps other benefits will be realized. These are know as the rewards of recovery. One example is; THE TWELVE REWARDS OF SOBRIETY By Searcy W., 55 years sober as at 2001 aged 90. Faith instead of despair. Courage instead of fear. Hope instead of desperation. Peace of mind instead of confusion. Real friendships instead of loneliness. Self-respect instead of self-contempt. Self-confidence instead of helplessness. A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt. A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence. The love... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3524458 Sat, 01 May 2010 13:54:01 +0100 3524458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3519716&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F0IjhNB2yMoM%2F Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.” When we understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that affects the drinker as well as those close to the drinker, we realize that blame is as relevant with this disease as it is with diabetes or Alzheimer’s. The more we know about the disease we are dealing with, the better we are able to make healthy choices as to how we react. “Many of the symptoms of alcoholism are in the behavior of the alcoholic. The people who are involved with the alcoholic react to his behavior. They try to control it, make up for it, or h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3519716 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:33:52 +0100 3519716 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3519718&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEpiWRhseIRc%2F Twelve Steps of Sponsorship These can be applied to all 12-Step anonymous fellowships such as Al-anon, Alateen, Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous etc I will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo. I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition. I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living. I cannot give you dreams or “fix you up” simply because I cannot. I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times. I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain. I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3519718 Thu, 29 Apr 2010 07:38:06 +0100 3519718 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3522831&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FgDG0Cy-PGuQ%2F AA & 12-Step Treatment AA Assists Alcoholics Avoid Alcohol AA Can Help Most Alcoholics AA Fact File AA’s 12-Step Recovery Program Al-Anon offers new life Alcohol and Anxiety Alcohol Problems Database Alcoholic Defense Mechanisms Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing Alcoholics Anonymous Program in India Alcoholics can benefit from Al-Anon Alcoholics Have Trouble Identifying Emotions Alcoholism / Addiction Treatment Saves Money Alcoholism in women Alcoholism Treatment in a Nursing Home Altruism helps AA members stay sober An Introduction to Medication for Alcohol Dependence Anti-craving Drugs Attendance at Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Binge Drinking & Brain Damage Brain Damage & Cirrhosis Brief Intervention in Emergency Room Effective Brief-TSF Descrip... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3522831 Sat, 24 Apr 2010 05:54:31 +0100 3522831 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3494349&cid=t_293174_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F04%2F22%2Falcoholism-family-and-the-limits-of-love%2F On April 25th, Hallmark Hall of Fame will broadcast the movie “When Love Is Not Enough — The Lois Wilson Story,” starring Winona Ryder and Barry Pepper (CBS, 9:00 pm ET). The movie, which portrays the life of Lois Wilson, co-founder of Al-Anon Family Groups and wife of Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill Wilson, is based on William G. Borchert’s 2005 book, The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough. Borchert’s earlier screenplay was the basis of the acclaimed movie My Name is Bill W. which starred James Woods, James Garner, and JoBeth Williams. The premiere of the movie also falls during the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc.’s (NCADD) 24th Annual Alcohol Awareness Month with its theme, “When Love Is Not Enough: Helping Families Coping With Alco... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3494349 Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:16:15 +0100 3494349 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3490881&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-alcoholism-warning-signs%2F Alcoholism can strike anyone The following symptoms of alcohol abuse and alcoholism may indicate a problem. Not everyone will have all the signs, but if there are many present then it would be worthwhile to seek help from a therapist or Alcoholics Anonymous. If some one you love has these signs seek help from Al-anon or a specialist alcohol family counselor. Withdrawing from family and friends. Lying about how much they drink. Drinking to “get going” in the morning. Drinking to calm down. Problems at work or school. Doing things they regret while drinking. Getting in fights while drinking. Engaging in risky behavior while drunk. Developing physical tolerance. Having “blackouts” while drinking. See also; Al-Anon May be able to help Spiritual Health Blockages Alcoholics Anonymous ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3490881 Mon, 19 Apr 2010 12:21:50 +0100 3490881 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3490883&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftypes-of-12-step-meetings-3%2F Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery. The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are ‘open’ and ‘closed’. OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem. Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the program At the end of the meeting... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3490883 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 10:27:18 +0100 3490883 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3483129&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6kng1PCRMsU%2F Many people have experienced or practiced abuse in alcoholic or addictive relationships. You may be an alcoholic, addict, codependent or child of a bad relationship (Adult Child of Addiction / Alcoholism). In recovery these behaviors need to be addressed in the program in confidence with a sponsor or counselor. This list is not complete, but it may help you begin to find understanding and ways out of the quagmire of pain. Signs of abusive relating; 1.  Isolates you from friends and family 2.  Is verbally abusive 3.  Blames others for their problems 4.  Alcohol and drug abuse 5.  Does things to instill fear 6.  Punishes you for spending time away from them 7.  Expects you to wait on them like a servant 8.  Is extremely jealous of all aspects of your life 9.  Controls you through th... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3483129 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 08:11:37 +0100 3483129 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3480938&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FDPgFXdr9R1w%2F Bill W. and wife Lois sharing their story as the co-founders of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-anon. Go to this link to see more video’s of Bill and Lois. See also; Bill’s Story in the book ‘Alcoholics Anonymous’ Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, DVD's & Medalions (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3480938 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 10:47:45 +0100 3480938 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3476087&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftheres-no-shame-in-sex-therapy-2%2F This article may be a guide to seeking help. When Stephen Braveman suggested to his wife that they needed sex therapy, he did so with trepidation. He worried he’d "be seen as a pig who only wants sex." Even though he’s a practicing sex therapist himself, his marriage wasn’t immune from the intimacy challenges that face so many couples. In his case, says Braveman of Monterey, Calif., his upbringing during the "free love" 1960s in California put him at odds with his wife’s native German culture. "It’s just not in her personality to be verbally expressive in the bedroom," he says. Still, she agreed to join him in therapy, and the couple has "made progress." Sex, of course, isn’t purely physical. Intertwined between... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3476087 Fri, 16 Apr 2010 11:41:10 +0100 3476087 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3454205&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fanger-recovery%2F Adapted from “Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth” by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse; Health Communications, Inc., 1987. Anger is a word we apply to a wide range of feelings. . . Anger can be as simple as a minor irritation. We frequently feel angry when we’re frustrated or when our plans are thwarted. Annoyances may be barely noticeable at first, but if annoyances continue, they can generate considerable wrath. We feel a form of anger when we’re disappointed and let down–most often it takes the form of resentment. When we’re angry, but don’t want to make a deal of it, we use a euphemism, “I’m really teed-off.” Anger is frequently a response to being hurt or suffering loss. Even so, we may not recognize it as such. For ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3454205 Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:23:55 +0100 3454205 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3454207&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadult-children-of-alcoholics-can-practice-being-normal%2F Don't let the trust stop at birth “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. “I know what it is to be codependent. I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman, supervisor of the Hazelden Family Program, reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parent... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3454207 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:25:00 +0100 3454207 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3441067&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUBRQnJKXiWM%2F In dysfunctional families, parents violate the boundaries of their children. Parents from these families; do not respect their children’s personal freedom and privacy, they discount their children’s feelings, do not honor their attempts at independent thinking and decision-making, and do not allow them to experience their impulses toward creativity, spirituality and self actualization. These deficits in the children’s development are revisited by problems in their adult relationships and careers, and with raising their own families. When parents disrespect a child’s boundaries, the child’s sense of self are compromised. This affects their; sense of autonomy, self-respect, feelings of effectiveness and making a difference. In place of a healthy sen... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3441067 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 15:21:41 +0100 3441067 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3441069&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FV3q18z3Hq_E%2F Codependency has become a buzzword of our time, and as with all buzzwords that acquire a certain cultural currency, the vital concepts behind it can sometimes be undermined with time. In the case of this particular buzzword, however, we cannot afford to let its meaning slip away. Codependency is one of our most destructive psychological habits, and, unfortunately, one of the most prevalent What is codependency? Contrary to what many people think, codependency does not only refer to dependent relationships that involve substance abuse. Its connotations are far broader. Someone who is codependent is one who has let another’s behavior or feelings affect them in a way that interferes with work, creativity, other relationships and personal growth. Alternately, the word codependency also... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3441069 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 14:34:00 +0100 3441069 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3429458&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FOF5ANYSGzas%2F Seek help It’s dumbfounding to learn that some never seek help of any kind with severe alcohol abuse. One wife says, "If my husband had sought help, he would have been admitting how serious my problem was. It was a big family secret." But other people emphasize the importance of not going it alone when someone you care about has a drinking problem. This comment captures the essence of many suggestions: "Join a support group to keep your own life buoyant and prosperous and to analyze your own negative coping strategies." Not surprisingly, many people who take traditional twelve-step recovery routes suggested going to Al-Anon, also a twelve-step-based program. Also, a number of people make a general comment that family and friends should seek counselling for their ow... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3429458 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:33:00 +0100 3429458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3420763&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdaily-affirmations-for-adult-children-of-alcoholics%2F The messages that we give to ourselves are the most important messages we hear. The internal briefings and conversations we hold determine our attitudes, our behavior and the course of our lives. If, as children, we were criticized and shamed, our internal dialogue will be self-deprecating. If we are used to large doses of self-imposed sarcasm and negative reviews of our daily performance, we gradually mutilate our self-esteem, our creativity and our spirit. As adult children of alcoholics, we can continue to remain in the past and believe the negatives that we were taught; or we can change our beliefs with affirmative thoughts that can set us free into better and more expansive experiences. What we choose to believe will ultimately rule our world. Affirmations are a way to wake us up&#8... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3420763 Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:41:00 +0100 3420763 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3416329&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fremoving-guilt-and-shame%2F Recovery from alcoholism, codependency and addiction encompasses getting rid of the guilt and shame of past actions. This is done in Step 4 of the 12 Step program of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA) and Narcotics Anonymous. The list below is taken from the Step 4 section of the book ‘The 12 Steps for Adult Children’.  The different areas to be examined in Step 4 work suggested in the book above are: Repressed Anger Approval Seeking Caretaking Control Fear of Abandonment Fear of Authority Figures Frozen Feelings Isolation Low Self-Esteem Overdeveloped Sense of Responsibility Repressed Sexuality And from Clarence S. of Alcoholics Anonymous The inventory is of our defects, not our incidents. Here are the defects: Resentment, A... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3416329 Mon, 29 Mar 2010 15:47:00 +0100 3416329 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3416334&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhelp-an-alcoholic-8-2%2F Take care of yourself "Live a full life of your own." "Make sure you live a life of your own that does not depend on the undependable person." "Carry on with your life after you’ve let the alcoholic know you aren’t babysitting anymore." "Let them go, and focus on your own health and peace of mind.” These comments from masters underline the importance of taking care of yourself despite the problems with the drinker. Often, however, in an attempt to hide a family member’s alcohol abuse from others, spouses withdraw and isolate themselves from friends and other family members. Taking care of yourself might mean signing up for a class in the evenings, getting together with buddies from the past, or going away by yourself for a weekend. See al... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3416334 Sun, 28 Mar 2010 18:08:58 +0100 3416334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3412597&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F-B4KDydrQeg%2F What is co-dependency How does co-dependency happen? Who is affected by co-dependency? What can be done for a co-dependent? Am I a co-dependent? Understanding Co-dependency answers these questions and develops a scientifically based framework for separating the person and their past from their current disease or disorder. It places our past history and present environment (marriage, job, personal life) in their proper perspectives and shows us how to build a happy, healthy life. The time has come for a book that establishes the fundamentals of co-dependency and Understanding Co-dependency is that book. - Order Today >> Understanding Co-Dependency - Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, DVD's & Medalions (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3412597 Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:20:00 +0100 3412597 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3411291&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FjMPXlnm3cUo%2F The dynamics of the healthy family. In previous articles I have talked about Dysfunctional Families, Goals for ACOA’s in Recovery, Al-Anon, Dysfunctional Rules of Codependency and Alcoholic Family Roles. In a healthy family system, family members openly acknowledge their problems, discuss them openly, and work toward change. They believe change is acceptable, and actively solicit workable solutions from other family members. Children in these families are free to express their needs and wants. Family members can talk about feelings and traits in themselves that they feel should be changed: shame and embarrassment do not immobilize them. There is permission to express appropriate anger. The adults of the family model healthy, congruent behavior for their children: what they tell the... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3411291 Fri, 26 Mar 2010 10:39:22 +0100 3411291 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3411292&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fus90hpgupE8%2F Try to adopt the following approaches to your alcoholic / addict; 1. Try to learn the facts about alcoholism and other drug addiction. Keep an open mind. 2. Recognize addiction for what it is-a disease of the body, mind, behavior, and spirit from which people can and do recover. Like other diseases, nobody really intends to get it or wish it upon their loved ones once they have it. Try to remember that the alcoholic / addict in your family isn’t doing this at you. This is a disease beyond will power. 3. Practice detachment. Do not allow yourself to become obsessed with your family member. This is sometimes called “release with love.” In effect, there are times that you simply must let go and let the alcoholic / addict experience the consequences of their drinking and dru... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3411292 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 22:40:43 +0100 3411292 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3411293&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUilAQpp3t1g%2F The Complete ACOA Sourcebook – The Collection When they were first released in the 1980s, Janet Woititz’s groundbreaking works, Adult Children of Alcoholics, Struggle for Intimacy and The Self-Sabotage Syndrome, provided a new message of hope to adult children who had grown up in the shadow of alcoholic parents. Their message today is as profound and timeless as it was two decades ago. Now, in this complete collection, readers will learn again the insight and healing power of Janet Wotitiz’s words. The Complete ACoA Sourcebook is a compilation of three of Dr. Woititz’s classic books, addressing head-on the symptoms of The Adult Children of Alcoholics syndrome and providing strategies for living a normal life as an adult. Readers will find help for themselves: at home, i... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3411293 Thu, 25 Mar 2010 15:24:00 +0100 3411293 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3383088&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Faf-VlOItELU%2F Altruism emerges when thoughts focus on a Higher Power Many members of 12-Step Fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, ACOA, Narcotics Anonymous and Alateen, will agree with this research. Thoughts related to a Higher Power cultivate cooperative behaviour and generosity, according to University of British Columbia psychology researchers. In a study to be published in Psychological Science journal, researchers investigated how thinking about a Higher Power and notions of a Higher Power influenced positive social behaviour, specifically cooperation with others and generosity to strangers. Azim Shariff and Ara Norenzayan found that priming people with ’Higher Power concepts’ — by activating subconscious thoughts through word games — promoted selflessness. In additio... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3383088 Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:33:00 +0100 3383088 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3383095&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6R862cUmVc4%2F Spiritual Awakening is a process that happens within us. It is recognizing that a power greater than ourselves exists and can assist us if we will just ask for help and guidance. We do not have to “do it on our own.” Part of the awakening includes a new way of internally and externally handling events as they occur. We can learn to internally process the event differently so that it has a different meaning (thought), followed by a different internal action (emotion), and a different external action (behavior). The process of this “event-changing” happens within us. The events do not change, my relationship to the events changes. Therefore, the challenge becomes about overcoming the internal conflict between the false self that is creating the misperceptions, and the Real Self that ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3383095 Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:45:44 +0100 3383095 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3374384&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-lois-wilson-story%2F Available for the first time in paperback, the biography of one of the recovery movement’s most influential figures: Lois Burnham Wilson, creator of Al-Anon and wife of Alcoholics Anonymous cofounder Bill W. Acclaimed author and screenwriter William G. Borchert explores the life and times of Lois Burnham Wilson, the spirited creator of Al-Anon and wife of Alcoholics Anonymous co-founder Bill Wilson. From her privileged childhood in turn-of-the-century New York City to her socialite status as the ‘Wall Street Wife’ of the charismatic Bill in the roaring ’20s to the couple’s audacious cross country motorcycle excursions in the 1930s, Lois was every bit the adventure-seeker. But nothing could have prepared her for the chaos, anguish, and loss caused by Bill&#821... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3374384 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 19:43:00 +0100 3374384 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3374385&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-skeptics-guide-to-aa%2F Alcoholics Anonymous ‘undrunk’ lifestyle In this unprecedented book, A.J. Adams uses self-deprecating humor, entertaining anecdotes, and frank descriptions to introduce readers to the complete Alcoholics Anonymous ‘undrunk’ lifestyle. Beginning with the story of his first AA meeting, he takes the mystery out what goes on behind closed doors, in order to encourage addicts who are reluctant to get help walk through them. “My eyes wandered around the room, taking in the strange collection of humanity seeking to claim me as a fellow sufferer. If variety is the spice of life, this crowd was the jambalaya of affliction.” Adams addresses the journey through detox and treatment, offering his own struggle of coming to terms with his alcoholism. He then presents a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3374385 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 18:32:11 +0100 3374385 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3346733&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FFQaSVgL25e8%2F This article will give many people in recovery food for thought. What is a healthy relationship and how does sex fit in? In the simplest terms, a healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good about yourself and your partner. Not only do you enjoy being together, but you can express your true self, and allow your partner to do the same. All relationships are different, of course, but healthy ones have at least five important qualities in common. The acronym S.H.A.R.E. can help you remember these qualities. Safety: In a healthy relationship you feel safe. You don’t worry that your partner will harm you physically or emotionally, and you don’t feel inclined to use physical or emotional violence against your partner. You can try new things (such as taking a night class) or c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3346733 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:56:44 +0100 3346733 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339808&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FnRw09tNZoIU%2F Let go as they fall “To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means ’I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, its the realization I can’t control another human. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reali... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339808 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:45:51 +0100 3339808 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339813&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FV-dxDYRUr1Q%2F Avoiding and shielding: Any behavior by the codependent covering up for, or preventing the abuser, or self from experiencing the full impact or harmful consequences of drug use. Attempting to control: Any behavior by the codependent performed with the intent to take personal control over the significant other’s drug use. Taking over responsibilities: Any behavior by the codependent designed to take over the abuser’s personal responsibilities, such as household chores or employment. Rationalizing and accepting: Any behavior by the codependent conveying a rationalization or acceptance of the significant other’s drug use. Cooperating and collaborating: Any assistance or involvement by the codependent in the buying, selling, adulterating, testing, preparing, or use of drugs. ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339813 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:34:14 +0100 3339813 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3318669&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FwbkcJMdjf2w%2F Individual drinking habits may be found on a continuum from responsible drinking through alcohol abuse to alcoholism, or physical dependence. There are many signs that may point to an alcohol problem. Drunkenness on its own or solitary drinking does not necessarily indicate alcoholism. The questionnaire will be meaningful to you only if you are honest with yourself when taking it. The important question is: Is your use of alcohol creating significant negative consequences in your life? Do you sometimes drink heavily after a setback or an argument, or when you receive a poor grade? When you experience trouble or are undergoing stress, do you always drink more heavily than usual? Can you handle more liquor now than you could when you first began drinking? Have you ever awakened the “... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3318669 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:48:31 +0100 3318669 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3307103&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FXX-8CyylmOY%2F I Found My True Self I grew up in a middle-class family in Australia. We had a three-story home with an indoor swimming pool and I had a pony. But home was not as it looked from the outside. Not How It Looked My family looked very successful, but my mother drank alcohol daily and my dad drank beer and got drunk. Mum and Dad had weekly arguments. My brother was a qualified Chemist at 21. He committed suicide one night— the disease of alcoholism got him. It took me years to seek my own recovery after two marriage break-ups, loss of homes and a life of unmanageability that I did not recognize. My third husband, whom I love very much, is still out there drinking, although he has been in AA. I have been in Al-Anon (12 Step group for relatives and friends of alcoholics) for nine years. Recogn... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3307103 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:21:44 +0100 3307103 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3290998&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FkbiPHTe68SM%2F Foregiveness and rebirth I have studied many ways to self-forgiveness and have found this to be the definitive document on the why, who, how and where of forgiveness. Recovering members of 12-Step fellowships, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, ACOA, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, may find this helpful. It is important to forgive ourselves for our own confusion and unhappiness. It’s important to forgive ourselves for our own failures and stuckness––for the dreams, desires and visions that did not come true. If it seems that we may go unfulfilled in the ways we expected or strived for, we must be especially kind to ourselves in self-forgiveness. It is also important to forgive ourselves for the wounds we carry and the harm we caused others. Through the medium of prayer o... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3290998 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 00:34:00 +0100 3290998 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3276093&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpartners-of-alcoholics%2F Partner’s Criticism Linked to Alcoholic Relapse A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Al-Anon’s purpose of offering “understanding and encouragement” to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation. The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive. The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race. Al-Anon is a support groups for those who are affect... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3276093 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:42:00 +0100 3276093 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271197&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FFat4OfKfvfM%2F Learn about the disease This is a bit like the picture at left – can you see other faces in the flowers and the disease of alcoholism? Understand the nature of the chemical alcohol, how alcohol affects the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic in different ways, and why the alcoholic continues to drink when drinking is obviously harming them. Learn about the early-, middle-, and late-stage symptoms of the disease and how these symptoms change as the alcoholic continues to drink. Learn about the underlying physiological changes, including adaption, tolerance, physical dependence, and the withdrawal syndrome, all of which have a profound effect on the alcoholic’s behaviour. Finally, learn why the alcoholic needs to drink, why he becomes irritable, frustrated, and depressed when he is not drink... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271197 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:15:03 +0100 3271197 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271202&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FqEcnPjY-dAg%2F Self propelled merry-go-round Some people, known as co-dependents, act to protect the alcoholic or attempt to make the drugging stop in ways that at first seem to disable the drinking. But, paradoxically, the effect on the addict is the opposite. What usually happens is more drinking. Enabling can take several forms, such as; Avoiding and shielding: Any behavior by the codependent covering up for, or preventing the abuser, or self from experiencing the full impact or harmful consequences of drug use. Attempting to control: Any behavior by the codependent performed with the intent to take personal control over the significant other’s drug use. Taking over responsibilities: Any behavior by the codependent designed to take over the abuser’s personal responsibilities, such as hous... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271202 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:30:16 +0100 3271202 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267205&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FJIqYh2Sos6A%2F Al-Anon Speaks for Itself A wife, father, husband, and daughter describe what it is like to love someone who has a drinking problem. The wife says, “I didn’t live in reality at all. I covered up and made believe.” The father says, “When the police came and told me the charges against my son, it was unbelievable. To see my son taken away in handcuffs was the most difficult day of my life.” To the right of the YouTube panel you will find other videos about Al-anon. Click here for the YouTube video; Al-Anon Speak Part 1 Al-anon Speak part II Al-anon Speak part III Al-anon Speak part IV See also; Al-anon / Alateen Recovery MP3 tracks for all 12-Step Fellowships Self-care Boundaries Language of Letting Go A Woman’s Way Through The Twelve Steps Related R... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267205 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:01:47 +0100 3267205 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267206&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FIWEiwmvaa7k%2F Families may be reunited with Al-anons help Research proves that the Al-anon method of encouragement and support is one of the best ways to help a recovering addict stay sober A recent American clinical study examined the effect of perceived criticism on relapse back to substance abuse, and found that the perception of criticism was a very significant factor leading to relapse. Families can best help in the recovery process by remaining encouraging and supportive, and additionally attending both therapy with the alcoholic, as well as some form of family support organization. The Al Anon philosophy: Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267206 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:47:52 +0100 3267206 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267207&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8lWnTrijfao%2F Which letterbox has a dysfunctional family Growing up in an alcoholic family “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. “I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parents, but struggle with how to do it. They have s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267207 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:32:33 +0100 3267207 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3259269&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FMQr5lGvE6bA%2F ACOA's often have inner shadows of early life Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) refers to individuals who have grown up in a dysfunctional family as a result of their parents or caretakers alcoholism. Each ACOA finds they often have common characteristics in adulthood as the result of their childhood and upbringing, often including alcohol or drug abuse themselves. These traits can also be found in other dysfunctional families that include drug addiction, compulsive gamblers, or workaholism. The condition is often referred to as co-dependency as the sufferer usually needs a person dependent or addicted to alcohol or drugs to feel needed. Adult Children of Alcoholics can also refer to any 12 Step Fellowship that, like Al-anon, who assist ACOA with their common problems. Common Traits ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3259269 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:22:33 +0100 3259269 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3254738&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-program-of-action-2%2F Action will untabgle the heart to recovery A.A.’s 12-Steps – A Program of Action A.A.’s Twelve Steps, which constitute its program of recovery, are in no way a statement of belief; they simply describe what the founding members did to get sober and stay sober. They contain no new ideas: surrender, self-inventory, confession to someone outside ourselves, and some form of prayer and meditation are concepts found in spiritual movements throughout the world for thousands of years. What the Steps do is frame these principles for the suffering alcoholic – sick, frightened, defiant, and grimly determined not to be told what to do or think or believe. The Steps offer a detailed plan of action: admit that alcohol has you beaten, clean up your own life, admit your faults do whatever... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3254738 Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:12:20 +0100 3254738 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3247078&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FxkGXSkbExTQ%2F Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery. The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are: OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem. Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the program At the end of the meeting there is usually a period fo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3247078 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:12:00 +0100 3247078 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3247080&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FeMKSi0uKrnY%2F We examined the processes through which 20 committed members (aged 29-52 yrs) of self-help groups for adult children of alcoholics experience alterations in their perceptions of family of origin. Results suggest that world view transformation in the family of origin domain involves; learning to define the family as pathological, assigning responsibility for this pathology to a disease, forgiving oneself, accepting that one was adversely affected by the family’s problem, and ultimately learning to accept one’s parents’ shortcomings. Humphreys, Keith. World view change in Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy. Vol 46(2), Apr 1996, 255-263. See also; ACOA’s have Streng... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3247080 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:15:54 +0100 3247080 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3244054&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8GHcEl-Ava4%2F This article from PsychCentral tells the story of an elderly women who found love again and gives some pointers. Want to find love again? There’s no reason to think that you can’t find someone to love. A few simple pointers may help. Start with giving yourself a pep talk. Don’t try to replace someone you’ve lost. Let friends and acquaintances know that you are open to meeting someone special. Be honest about what you’re looking for. Consider online dating services as a way to enlarge your pool of eligible singles. Be reasonably cautious Trust your instincts. Know what you want. When you find yourself wanting to spend more time with someone who seems promising, please remember that you both already have pretty full lives. Don’t expect your adult kids to love your new love &#821... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3244054 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:11:37 +0100 3244054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3228013&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fco-dependent-defence-behaviours%2F Some behaviours seem to have us locked into unbreakable patterns Psychological and emotional defence mechanisms are used by all human beings and may be necessary for survival in some situations. However, people from dysfunctional families (co-dependents, adult children of alcoholics for example) may have developed defence behaviours that are increasingly dysfunctional. When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell We’ve all used defences to distance ourselves from distressing feelings and maintain a sense of emotional stability. Our defence patterns began in childhood when they prevented us from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. However, as an adult we o... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3228013 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:29:34 +0100 3228013 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3223492&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FOXJ56Txguc8%2F Family Recovery Family recovery is one of the keys to treatment for alcoholism. Alcoholics and alcohol abusers attract more public attention, but their families and friends also suffer long-term effects from alcoholism-and their recovery may be essential to the alcoholic’s recovery, according to a leading researcher in the field. “Alcoholism is a family disease. While it is important for the family to support the alcoholic’s recovery, it is also important for members of the family to get involved in their own recovery. Family recovery decreases the chances that the children of alcoholics will repeat the pattern and engage in unhealthy relationships,” said Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics and director of the Mid-Atla... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3223492 Sat, 30 Jan 2010 11:20:31 +0100 3223492 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3220742&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FSSXmSpeaQLE%2F Yoda´s Playlist XA-Speakers Tapes have 1,232 AA and other 12-Step related MP3 recordings. XA – Speaker Tape Category AA – Alcoholics Anonymous – » Speakers who identify as alcoholics Al-Anon Family Groups – » Speakers who identify as Al-Anons NA – Narcotics Anonymous – » Speakers who identify as drug addicts CA – Cocaine Anonymous – » Speakers who identify as cocaine addicts OA – Overeaters Anonymous – » Speakers that identify as overeaters GSA – GreySheeters Anonymous – » Speakers who identify as compulsive overeaters CDA – Chemically Dependent Anonymous – » Speakers who identify as chemically dependant =========================== AA Primary Purpose Speaker Tapes All AA speaker tapes are now i... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3220742 Fri, 29 Jan 2010 01:18:05 +0100 3220742 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3208699&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-acoa-co-dependency%2F ACOA's often feel frozen in relationships You can talk to a dozen experts, read a dozen books and get a dozen different interpretations of ACOA co-dependency. Many accept it as a disease in as much as it has an onset, is progressive, predictable and in time is potentially fatal, although other causes of death are generally cited. It is assumed that all Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) are co-dependents, but we each act out this illness in a different way.  Basically, there are two general concepts: As children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home environment, we learned to hide or divorce our feelings, our true selves (also knows as the “Inner Child”) and we adopted a survival role in order to cope with the stresses. The experts in the field of alcohol... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3208699 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:38:19 +0100 3208699 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3208700&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdance-humor-for-recovery%2F Judy recently shared the following on her Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) e-mail group. I found it so useful that I asked her to allow it to be published here. Judy readily agreed. Good morning group, When I read the daily reading on losing a sense of humour it reminded me … I had to learn to play. When I came to ACA some of the members encouraged me to play by asking what I had never done as a child that I wanted to do. I wanted to learn to roller skate and I wanted a bicycle. I went out and bought a used pair of skates and a used bike. My friends took me roller skating and held my hand around the rink until I could go it alone. It was fun but what I discovered was that what I really wanted to do was dance. I gave away my skates and took dance lessons and I’ve been dancing for... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3208700 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:47:13 +0100 3208700 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3201908&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpartner-enabling-of-alcoholism-2%2F Enabling is like a dam holding back responsibility Enabling is the ideas, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors that unintentionally continue to foster drinking, alcohol related problems or make matters worse by not allowing the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their alcoholism. Enabling is part of the set of behaviors practiced by codependents of alcoholism. Researchers report that the majority of partners took over chores or duties from the alcoholic client at some point during the relationship, drank or used other drugs with the client, and lied or made excuses to others to cover for the drinker. Moreover, particular relationship beliefs were associated with higher behavioural enabling scores. Enabling Behaviors are practiced in four forms; Direct Enabling The behavior that acts ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3201908 Sun, 24 Jan 2010 03:53:00 +0100 3201908 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189416&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZdOs3r5afxQ%2F Self-care. The bike is waiting! Self-care is about setting boundaries, letting go “Some of us have so many voices in our heads, we could hold group therapy by ourselves,” said Rokelle Lerner, a popular speaker and trainer on relationships, women’s issues, and addicted family systems. This internal chorus is often composed of voices from our family of origin, voices of critical teachers or bosses, voices from past relationships or current situations. Often these voices are drowned out by our own voice nagging, reprimanding, berating, but rarely praising us. In times of stress or chaos, the voices grow louder and it’s easy to go numb, Lerner recently told the audience at Hazelden’s Women Healing Conference in Minneapolis. “We become estranged from our pur... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189416 Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:51:00 +0100 3189416 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3185637&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fworried-about-his-drinking%2F As a co-dependent I always felt that my loved one’s drinking was a terrible reflection on me, and I worried about what people thought. One day he told me he wanted to get sober. I was elated for a day, until his next relapse into a binge. Then I was devastated. Some months later, my loved one finally did go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Two days later, the drinking began again. The most important thing I’ve learned in Al-Anon since then is that my well-being cannot depend upon whether or not the alcoholic drinks. His behavior is not a reflection of me, it’s a reflection of his disease. However, my behavior is a reflection of me, and I owe it to myself to pay attention to what it has to tell me. I have to take care of myself. I have to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3185637 Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:23:43 +0100 3185637 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3180411&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmilitary-families-alcoholism%2F Al-Anon/Alateen Helps Military Families Recent published reports show that heavy drinking has increased in the military. What data is not shown are the effects of this drinking on others. For 55 years family members and friends of alcoholics have found help and hope in Al-Anon meetings. There are meetings held on or near military bases in the US, Canada, and around the world. Al-Anon provides a safe, confidential, and free place for military families to share with and learn from other family members and friends of problem drinkers. The latest Al-Anon/Alateen Membership Survey (completed in November 2003) shows that 25 percent of Al-Anon members and 29 percent of teen members surveyed have a relationship with a problem drinker on active duty in the military. An additional six percent have a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3180411 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:45:16 +0100 3180411 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3172209&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FrubghhGQVUk%2F Detachment with love takes on deeper meaning One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. Al-Anon, a Twelve Step mutual-help group for friends [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3172209 Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:01:57 +0100 3172209 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3172210&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F-upWgFjik1Q%2F I encourage everyone IF you really want to see those beautiful changes occurring in ALL your relationships, work the steps! (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3172210 Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:15:50 +0100 3172210 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3153650&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FQhE9pUK_mtU%2F The biggest obstacle to treatment of alcoholism is getting the alcoholic to break through the denial that is a hallmark of this condition (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3153650 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:08:02 +0100 3153650 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3136718&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FYNki-y1FF94%2F Relapse is not total failure; its only a stage Failure rates to comply with treatment for alcoholism do not differ significantly from other chronic diseases. People with disease such as diabetes, asthma and hypertension frequently fail to comply with treatment. (Lewis 2002) Relapse can range from a return to chronic heavy drinking to binge drinking, to a [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3136718 Sat, 02 Jan 2010 16:11:27 +0100 3136718 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3136727&cid=t_293174_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FSDakuYv4HXE%2F These levels of denial may be observed by family, healthcare workers and friends of the alcoholic. These levels may be applied to any addictive process such as gambling, sex addiction, spending, co-dependency, overeating, workaholism, smoking and being an Adult Child of Alcoholism. Just swap ‘alcohol; for your particular malady. Level A: “No Problem” The person at this level [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3136727 Fri, 01 Jan 2010 10:23:00 +0100 3136727