MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'ambulances'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:48:24 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833440&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F499%2Fgoodbye-nee-naw%2F It’s five years since I began the Nee Naw blog. Back then, I thought that few people beyond my real life friends would be interested. I was delighted when it started getting over fifty readers per day. Four years later, that became in excess of three thousand readers and, beyond my wildest dreams, a book deal! I have had some brilliant experiences because of this blog. For instance, appearing live on Radio Four (and nervously talking nonsense about stink bombs), being the subject of a four page spread in The Times, having boxes of Percy Pigs unexpectedly turn up in the post and seeing my book sandwiched between Cheryl Cole and Russell Brand in the biography section (though I was less impressed to find it in the “Tragic Life Stories” section at Smiths in Walthamstow). I will never for... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833440 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 12:49:11 +0100 3833440 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3302394&cid=t_101014_111_f&fid=36048&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.b5media.com%2F%7Er%2Fb5media%2FAHeartyLife%2F%7E3%2FG0Rq5NgLS-E%2F A report just issued by the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine has found that “Forty-five percent of Americans – 135 million people — are more than an hour away from primary stroke centers, the facilities that are best equipped to care for them if they are stricken by the condition.” And, less than 25% of Americans can reach stroke care within a half hour. When someone has a stroke (cerebral vascular accident, or CVA), the most vital part of treatment is time. The faster treatment can be given, the higher the chances of a good outcome. If patients are living an hour or more from this care, precious time is lost and many lives can’t be saved. Using information from the United States Census Bureau, the researchers came up with the following statistics: 2... A Hearty Life blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3302394 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:43:58 +0100 3302394 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3126627&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F448%2Funknown-male%2F It was the middle of the afternoon on Christmas Day, and a desperate sounding old lady called 999. “Do you know where they’ve taken my husband?” she begged. “He only popped out for some gravy. I didn’t realise we’d run out, you see. The shop is only down the road! An hour later, he hadn’t come back from the shop, so I went round there myself. They said a man fitting his description had collapsed and they’d called an ambulance!” “What’s the address of the shop?” asked the call taker. (Although we are not allowed to give out details of calls and where patients have been taken because of the data protection act, we can give callers information that might help them find a relative, like suggesting which hospital to call.) ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3126627 Tue, 29 Dec 2009 12:49:10 +0100 3126627 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3118893&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F446%2Fchristmas-spirits%2F I’m back! Did you miss me? I spent a month in Australia, visiting Sydney, Alice Springs and surrounding desert and tropical North Queensland. I had a whale of a time and didn’t want to come back. Oddly enough, when I went to Queensland I found my hotel was right next to the local ambulance station. I might have stood around taking photos of it like a right old spotter. I swear this wasn’t planned. When I got back from Australia I decided to take a bit of a blogging holiday. Life is a bit hectic at the moment and morale at Nee Naw Control isn’t exactly high right now. It never is this time of year, especially for those of us who are working Christmas and New Year and not getting any extra pay, whilst our colleagues who are rostered off are eligible for triple pay if ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3118893 Wed, 23 Dec 2009 21:04:23 +0100 3118893 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2943806&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F443%2Ftrue-story%2F We received a call to a male who was suffering from amnesia… … when the crew arrived, no one could remember making the 999 call… (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2943806 Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:37:46 +0100 2943806 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2934700&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F441%2Fbanana-man-latest%2F Today, Banana Man did not ring to offer us a banana once. He rang to tell us that he is getting married. Eighty-three times. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2934700 Tue, 27 Oct 2009 20:41:41 +0100 2934700 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2924821&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F439%2Fwaterloo%2F Today I was allocating the central part of the South East desk. I like this desk. The reason I like this desk is because it contains Waterloo Ambulance Station, which is directly behind Control. So when you send an ambulance to a call, you can see it drive past the window on blue lights. For some reason, this makes me happy. I’m easily pleased. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2924821 Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:25:18 +0100 2924821 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2912208&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F437%2Fnever-judge-a-call-by-its-cover%2F Joe is a paramedic who’s had enough. He works on an FRU in an area notorious for misuse of the service and unsavoury characters. He has spent the last umpteen years dashing through the streets on blue lights to be greeted with pregnant ladies brandishing their neatly packed suitcases or twenty-year-olds with colds who wanted him to bring them the paracetamol. He’s filled out endless LA52s (’incident report forms’) after being abused by the local scrotes and That Regular Who Dribbled on Reynolds’ Arm. Joe can’t remember the last time he was sent to someone who was actually seriously ill. I think if you offered Joe a nice little job in a cake shop instead, he’d snap it up - and to be honest, he’d have more chance of using his skills there, shou... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2912208 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 14:37:34 +0100 2912208 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2904892&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F434%2Famber-cars%2F This weekend the LAS have been trialling Amber Cars (and a few Amber Ambulances too). Ambulance 999 calls come in three categories - red, amber and green. Red calls are immediately life threatening, amber calls are serious but not immediately life threatening and green calls are not serious but still need an ambulance. (For the purpose of keeping this post simple, let’s assume this categorisastion works perfectly.) Us allocators send in order of priority, so a red call that has been waiting one minute will get an ambulance before an amber call that has been waiting fifteen minutes. The problem with this system is that at busy times, we will only be able to send on the most serious calls, and the greens and ambers end up waiting far longer than they should. A few years ago, the LAS b... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2904892 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 09:02:23 +0100 2904892 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2901645&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F432%2Fthe-return-of-banana-man%2F Since the deaths of Enid Whiner and Horace Halfpenny, the East Central desk has been somewhat short of regulars. We only really have two, a crazy pensioner who consistently tells us she’s had a fall and then shouts at the ambulance crew when they have the temerity to turn up at her flat, and a nasty psychopathic drug user who calls from phone boxes telling us about his nuclear weapons and occasionally dribbles on Tom Reynolds’ uniform. Today, however, saw the return of one very regular regular, one I had never hoped to hear from again. Back in my call taking days, the ambulance service was absolutely terrorised by one very persistent individual, who would make call after call after call, mostly to the same fictitious address in Bethnal Green, and occasionally (just for a change... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2901645 Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:09:12 +0100 2901645 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2828223&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F430%2Fmarshmallows%2F I thought I’d heard everything there was to hear in this job. But today we had a call that was so bizarre and horrible that it left us speechless. A woman committed suicide. She didn’t use one of the “normal” methods like cutting her wrists or overdosing. She didn’t even go for the more dramatic jumping under a train or hanging herself. No, she choked herself to death with a large quantity of marshmallows. It was the sort of call that you look at and think “no… this can’t be… they’ll get there and it’ll all be a misunderstanding. Or a hoax. She couldn’t possibly have…” But she had. The call was exactly as given. She was already dead by the time the crew arrived. We often like to share a bag of Flumps on th... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2828223 Wed, 23 Sep 2009 19:16:11 +0100 2828223 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2778446&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F428%2Fdear-hoaxer%2F You called 999 and told us that your friend had been attacked by a group of ten or more youths. He’d been stabbed, you told the call taker, come quickly. He’s lying unconscious in a pool of blood. You weren’t sure if he was breathing, you said. The call taker you spoke to was new. The adrenaline rose in him as he gave you the instructions. He told you how to maintain your friend’s airway, but you dropped the phone and didn’t come back. His trainer reassured him that he’d done everything right, but he still worried. He’d never taken a call like this before. Meanwhile, the allocator upstairs looked at your call and took the decision to divert the ambulance from Mrs Jones, age 85, two streets away, who was in the midst of a heart attack, and sent it t... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2778446 Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:02:40 +0100 2778446 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2774637&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F426%2Frip-horace-halfpenny%2F Everyone knew Horace Halfpenny. He was a foul-mouthed, malodorous drunk who thought nothing of flinging his colostomy bag (and occasionally part of his innards) at the professionals who tried to help him. Horace was the proverbial bad penny. We simply couldn’t get rid of him. He was banned from nearly every hospital in London, but he still called. A crew took him to Harlow, but days later he was back. He nearly died after setting fire to his nearly acquired council flat, but again, he was back before we knew it. Managers, police, social workers all got on the case and tried to stop Horace calling but to no avail. He was here, there, everywhere, popping up all over London with the infernal refrain: “MY BOWELS ARE HANGING OUT!” But now Horace will never be calling us again... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2774637 Tue, 08 Sep 2009 08:33:50 +0100 2774637 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2737756&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F423%2Fwatermelons%2F We had a call last week which read as follows: “78 year old male. Scrotum has swollen to three times size of a football.” “Three times the size of a football?” I said incredulously, almost forgetting to send the ambulance out in my horror. “A football is this big… so three footballs… that’s impossible! It would almost reach the floor!” “Maybe it’s a misprint?” suggested colleague G. “Perhaps he meant ’scrotum has swollen to three times normal size, is now size of football’” “More feasible,” I said. “But still rating quite highly in the Enormous Scrotum stakes.” “What are you lot squealing about?” said Male Management, peering over my shoulder. “OH MY GOD... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2737756 Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:27:15 +0100 2737756 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2734062&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F418%2Fkatherine-howell-the-darkest-hour%2F Life has been a little bit hectic recently so sorry for the lack of blogging! I do have some ambulance tales coming quite soon but in the meantime, here’s a quick plug for a great book. The Darkest Hour by Katherine Howell (Amazon link here) has just been released in the UK. Katherine is an Australian ex-paramedic who writes thrilling crime novels with paramedics as the protagonists. Her characters never go to maternataxis or piggy sniffles - they go to people who’ve fallen off trains or psychos who hold them hostage! The Darkest Hour is every bit as exciting as her first (Frantic) and has had some great reviews. One paper said that she is set to do for paramedics what Patricia Cornwell did for forensic pathologists! Anyway, I highly recommend this book to anyone who loves ambu... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2734062 Wed, 26 Aug 2009 13:05:32 +0100 2734062 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2702326&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F416%2Fdriving-test%2F As some of you may know, when I originally started work for the LAS five years ago, I really wanted to be a paramedic, and working in the control room was an interim measure until I passed my driving test. I soon hit a stumbling block when I discovered I was actually completely terrible at driving. I also found that I enjoyed working in the control room a lot more than I expected, particularly when I was promoted to allocator earlier this year. I would also find the pay drop from allocator to student paramedic totally crippling, as I live on my own in London and have a lot of student debts. In short, the paramedic dreams and driving lessons kind of fell by the wayside. However, 2009 has been a year of everything miraculously going right for me, and therefore I decided to give my driving te... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2702326 Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:02:11 +0100 2702326 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2678652&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F413%2Fcrew-emergency%2F There’s a phone number you can ring which will make every single phone in the dispatch end of Ambulance Control ring. This is known as the Crew Emergency Line and it is programmed into every ambulance crew’s phone. It makes everyone jump when someone rings it, and 90% of the time the call comes from a paramedic who has accidentally sat on their phone whilst treating a patient. The rest of the time it is a crew who want to arrange a GP or something but are fed up with our normal lines being busy. Anyway, the other night, the Crew Emergency line rang, and I was first to pick up. “Hello, East Central?” I said. Silence. Then some faint voices in the background, sounding a bit stressed, possibly? I couldn’t make anything out. No one spoke to me. “Someone&#821... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2678652 Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:02:40 +0100 2678652 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2630152&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F411%2Fswine-flu-again%2F The comments on my post about swine flu have been really eyeopening. There were one or two that made me angry and think “this commenter is PRECISELY the sort of person who ignores the advice in the media and thinks they are entitled to abuse the 999 service” but mainly I saw people who were terrified of getting swine flu and worried that their GP service won’t be able to do enough if they do. For a couple of commenters, these fears had become a reality as they or a relative had caught swine flu, and not all were satisfied with the service they’d received from GPs etc. For those people, 999 had become an option because they felt they had nowhere else to turn. This is still a misuse of the service, but it’s one borne out of fear and caring, not selfishness and e... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2630152 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:41:45 +0100 2630152 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2630153&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F409%2Fguilty-conscience%2F Last night, we had a call from NHS Direct who wanted us to send an ambulance round to put an old lady to bed because her carer hadn’t turned up to do it. NHS Direct should know better than this; we’re not here to put people to bed, we’re here for people who are ill and injured, and in the middle of the swine flu pandemic we’re rushed off our feet with calls as it is. So I had to get the call taker to refuse and tell them it was not our job and that they would have to make other arrangements. (The only time we are allowed to refuse an ambulance straight away at the call taking stage is if there is no illness or injury.) Of course, I spent the rest of the shift worrying about the old lady and whether they managed to contact someone else for her, or whether she was stu... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2630153 Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:11:51 +0100 2630153 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2594447&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F407%2Fswine-flu%2F “Call a hambulance! I’ve eaten too many Percy Pigs and now I think I’ve got swine flu!” I’ve just come back from three weeks’ leave and found the service absolutely inundated with calls from people who think they have swine flu. No one seems to have taken any notice whatsoever of the NHS’s advice, which is to ring your GP if you are worried that you may have a touch of hamthrax. (The only expection is if someone develops life threatening symptoms as a result of the flu, which is extremely rare and usually only seen in people who had poor health to start with). No, the general public have cleverly decided that they want to take their piggy germs to a hospital where they can spread it to thousands of sick and pregnant people and on their way infect a... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2594447 Sun, 12 Jul 2009 19:27:44 +0100 2594447 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2572943&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F404%2Fa-visit-to-heathrow%2F Last week, work arranged for a bunch of us from Control to go to Heathrow Airport to meet the Heathrow Nee Naws and have a behind-the-scenes tour. As a big fan of the TV programme Airline and a total spotter, I jumped at the chance. It was a really, really interesting day. We started off with a drive around the perimeter road, watching planes take off and land every few seconds. We pulled up at one of the RVPs - the places emergencies services meet up at if there’s a serious incident. There was a clear view of the runway from the RVP. “A couple of years ago, we were sent here for an ‘aircrash immiment’,” one of the paramedics told us. “Half of the undercarriage of the plane had come down and a crash landing was inevitable. We watched the plane circle rou... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2572943 Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:32:07 +0100 2572943 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2510759&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F394%2Fatchoo-2%2F I’m on nights this week and it has been CRAZILY busy. Usually, the East Central is dead by 2am on a week night. This week, I’ve still been juggling a screen full of calls at 5am. So what do you think is responsible for the increase in call rate? Drunken people enjoying the good weather? Swine flu? No, it’s the pollen count. Our screens are full of young people having “severe difficulty in breathing”, brought on by hayfever. It’s the first time I can remember this happening, and from a Control point of view, it’s hard to tell how serious these calls are. Some people are undoubtedly calling just for bog standard hayfever symptoms, and as a sufferer myself I know how horrible that “pins in eyes, feathers in throat, corks up nose” feeling i... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2510759 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 19:35:06 +0100 2510759 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2510760&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F392%2Ftwo-tragedies%2F A few weeks ago, a two-year-old boy was killed when he was hit by a rollercoaster after accidentally wandering on to the tracks. You may have heard about it in the media. This didn’t happen in my sector, but on the desk opposite, so while I was getting on with my work, I kept picking up snippets of information across the room. “It sounded awful,” said one of the call takers. “Everyone was screaming. I couldn’t get any sense out of anyone.” “DSO’s on the phone,” announced the radio op. “He says HEMS are working on him but it’s not looking good. Crews are going to have to go off the road afterwards. The FRU paramedic is really upset. Sounds like a really awful call.” Seconds later, I had my own call to worry about. A tipsy teenage boy had fallen down a river embankmen... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2510760 Sun, 14 Jun 2009 19:16:15 +0100 2510760 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2473482&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F389%2Fgranny-from-hell%2F I like old people, so I have a tendency to think they are all sweet and nice and try to send ambulances to them as quickly as possible. The other day, we had a call to a seventy-two year old female with a nosebleed. I decided to send the ECP (Emergency Care Practitioner) – a paramedic in a car who has extra training, and can deal with a lot of calls at home. The ECP will always perform a full set of checks on the patient before deciding whether to call for an ambulance or leave the patient at home and perhaps refer them to a GP, district nurse, etc. The ECP had been at the old lady’s house no longer than a couple of minutes when he rang me. “I’ve had to leave!” he puffed. “I thought she was going to attack me?” “The seventy two year old with a nosebleed?!” I said, confus... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2473482 Sat, 13 Jun 2009 07:55:47 +0100 2473482 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2473483&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F386%2Fthem-and-us%2F (This post will probably be boring if you do not work for the LAS, so please scroll past if you like!) The East Central desk are seriously persona non grata with the East Central Ambulance Crews at the moment. No one wants to bring us Percy Pigs, in fact we barely get a grunt from some of the crews when they answer the phone. We are The Enemy, a bunch of saddos whose purpose in life is to make crews’ lives difficult. What have we done? Well, basically, we’ve been checking up on their every move. For instance, if a crew is at hospital for longer than 30 minutes, they get a message telling them asking them exactly what the delay is. If they are trying to avoid their rest break (to get their £10 missed break payment or an early finish), we have to report them to their managers. N... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2473483 Fri, 12 Jun 2009 11:03:00 +0100 2473483 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2473484&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F384%2Fregulars-update%2F And while I am on the subject of regular callers, an update on some of the others who I have previously mentioned on this blog. Horace Halfpenny, the exceedingly unpleasant man with protruding bowels who cheated death after setting fire to his new flat while he was in it, has not been seen for some time. He has moved on from the hostel in my sector where he was staying and hopefully is somewhere deep in the South West where my poor crews don’t have to get abused by him. Ben Higginbotham, the aggressive depressive who likes to ring us to talk about Neighbours and Hollyoaks but turns nasty when the crew arrive, has been ringing a lot lately to ask us to contact his mother for him. One of the paramedics told us that his mother has, in fact, been dead over a year. I felt sorry for him – bu... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2473484 Fri, 12 Jun 2009 10:10:03 +0100 2473484 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2469532&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F382%2Fstrike-day%2F Today’s tube strike in London made me really, really angry. It wasn’t the fact that I had to get up at 4.30am and sit on a dirty, stinking nightbus just to get to work on time. It wasn’t the fact that at the end of my twelve hour shift, I had to walk the two miles to Liverpool Street to catch the overground train home. It wasn’t the fact that my arduous journey meant that I missed the start of the England football match. It wasn’t even the fact that the tube workers could all be watching said football match from the comfort of their local pub with loads of beer, safe in the knowledge they don’t have to get up for work tomorrow. No, none of those things were what made me REALLY angry. What made me really angry was the fact that by rush hour, the streets o... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2469532 Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:47:14 +0100 2469532 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2469533&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F380%2Fanother-regular-george-lennon%2F A comment on my last post inspired me to tell you about another of our regular callers. George Lennon is in his forties. He’s an alcoholic who is prone to fits. He’s also prone to calling up when there is nothing wrong with him, and equally prone to telling the ambulance crew who have rushed over on blue lights to tend to him to Foxtrot Oscar. He is far more likely to let crews in if they are female. George likes the ladies. He likes them so much that he likes to snap them with his mobile phone and then print the pictures off and stick them on his wall. When one paramedic objected to this, he offered to let her take his photo too. She obliged, and now there’s a picture of George’s grinning face pinned to the noticeboard in the ambulance station mess room. George has never been anyt... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2469533 Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:51:58 +0100 2469533 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2447614&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F377%2Frip-enid-whiner%2F One of the paramedics told me that Enid Whiner, one of our sector’s most frequent callers, passed away in hospital some time in the last few weeks. I hope this doesn’t make me sound cold-hearted, but my first reaction was one of relief. There were two scenarios involving Enid that I have been dreading since I moved to this section - one, that she’d be seriously ill at home and I wouldn’t take her call seriously and end up in Coroner’s Court explaining how my actions lead to her death, or two, that one day I’d send my last ambulance to her and contribute to someone else’s death and end up in Coroner’s Court explaining THAT decision. On the other hand, I wish we’d found a better way of tackling Enid’s issues before she died. She may... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2447614 Sat, 30 May 2009 12:50:13 +0100 2447614 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2414838&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F374%2Fthe-percy-pig-incident%2F It was the middle of a boring, quiet midweek nightshift and one of our crews requested a service run to a nearby 24 hour garage. (A service run is when an ambulance leaves its normal area to run an errand of some variety. They are still available for calls.) “No wonder they want to go to that one,” I remarked. “It’s got a Marks and Spencer’s Simply Food! I bet they’re after Percy Pigs.” “I want some Percy Pigs!” said the radio op. “So do I!” I said, rubbing my empty stomach. “G602, your request for a run to the fuel station is granted,” said the radio op. “But only if you pick us up some Percy Pigs while you’re there. Over.” We all giggled at her joke, mainly the fact she’d said “Pe... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2414838 Sat, 16 May 2009 14:16:21 +0100 2414838 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2414839&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F370%2Frace-for-life%2F Tomorrow morning I’m braving the pouring rain to run 5km round Regents Park for the Race For Life. I do this every year but it’s the first year I’ve been able to mention it on my blog - Race For Life is for women only and Mark Myers wouldn’t have been allowed to run! Cancer Research is a charity I support because I know many people who have been affected by cancer. My dad died from cancer when I was seven and my friend Lisa died from cancer almost exactly one year ago. More cheerfully, my grandfather has just beaten cancer for the third time and is back out dancing again, despite being nearly ninety. If you can spare a few quid to sponsor me, I’d be really grateful. You can donate online here. In other news, I’ve just finished a block of nightshifts and ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2414839 Fri, 15 May 2009 20:15:53 +0100 2414839 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2405263&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F367%2Fkatie-and-peter-split%2F Dear Management Unfortunately I am unable to come in for my night shift tonight. I am too upset about Katie and Peter’s break up. I have lost all faith in true love, not that I ever had much in the first place and need to spend the evening snivelling in front of repeats of Katie and Peter: The Next Chapter. Love Suzi Nee Naw (East Central Desk) Here - thanks Elliott! - is one of the last pictures of Katie and Peter together - and THAT bandage. (I will write something about ambulances again soon, honest. This isn’t turning into a Jordan blog!) (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2405263 Mon, 11 May 2009 16:08:13 +0100 2405263 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2376088&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F363%2Fkatie-price-and-the-london-marathon%2F Some of you may know that I am a huge fan of Katie Price, aka Jordan. I have all her books, an underwear set and the exercise video. I even had a pet mouse called Jordan at one point. Some people think she is a rather odd choice of idol for me, because we couldn’t be more different (eg: She wears glamorous frilly knickers for work, I wear ill fitting bottle green combats. She is a wife and mum, I am a confirmed child free singleton. She fancies Peter Andre, I don’t. Etc.) but I think that is the whole point. I don’t look up to people who are like me because I am already the best at being me! I think Katie is a fascinating, bright and extraordinary person and I admire the way she just gets on with everything and always has a smile on her face. She can get away with anythin... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2376088 Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:40:36 +0100 2376088 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2376089&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F361%2Fhems-overhead%2F Just as I was preparing to leave work, there was a serious stabbing on my patch. The HEMS team sent the helicopter. I explained what was going on to the night turn allocator, and set off on my way home. Just as I was leaving the building, I heard a loud whirr overhead and looked up to see HEMS flying low above me. My first thought is “Oh, I wonder where it’s going?” Then I remembered, of course, it was going to MY call. The call I’d handed over less than five minutes ago. It’s funny, when you leave the building, you hand over the calls and the ambulances to the next person and you forget the world you are walking out into is the same world that you’ve been sending crews out into all day. Sometimes you switch off too well when you leave and forget that ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2376089 Mon, 27 Apr 2009 19:19:03 +0100 2376089 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2365060&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F358%2Fride-out-on-a-fru%2F The other day I was very kindly invited to join one of our local FRUs (ambulance car) for a day shift. I was, of course, fishing for juicy stories for the book, but sod’s law decided to strike and predictably nothing of the sort happened. Still, we had a busy day and I learned a lot about FRUs and what they are useful for, which will be very useful for allocating - for the last few weeks, the sector allocators (ie. me) have been responsible for allocating FRUs. Previously, they had their own desk and allocators and I don’t mind admitting that my use of them has been a trifle hit and miss. We started the day with three little old ladies and two little old men who had some combination of chest pain, difficulty breathing and confusion. Only one of these turned out to be seriously ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2365060 Thu, 23 Apr 2009 09:06:58 +0100 2365060 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2353836&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F356%2Fouch%2F We had a call yesterday that made me wince: “16 year old female states her tongue has split after having it pierced”. I actually have several body piercings myself (in my nose, lips and belly button - and no, I don’t wear them to work) but it still made me squirm. Fortunately, I managed to stop squirming long enough to text my body piercer friend for advice. His reply was: “Sounds impossible, unless she had it pierced right at the tip and then pulled it really hard. Also her mouth would be filling up with blood so she would not be able to call you in first place.” It turned out that there had been a certain amount of exaggeration and melodrama within the diagnosis. The girl didn’t have two independently wagging tongues or anything like that, it was just... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2353836 Tue, 21 Apr 2009 12:50:01 +0100 2353836 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2348197&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F354%2Fbusy-saturday-night%2F Last night was one of those crazy busy Saturday nights. It was a nice warm night, Arsenal and Chelsea were playing in the FA cup and the people of London wanted a night out. It didn’t help that the computer system decided to go down not once, not twice, but three times. When this happens, the calls get taken on pieces of paper and read out to the crews by phone or radio. It’s not so bad once you get going - the problem is the transition from computer to paper which results in a hairy ten minutes or so where you have to work out where all your ambulances are and what they are doing. It’s almost as bad changing from paper back to computer, so therefore it’s better if the system goes down and just stays down rather than going off and on like it did last night. By 3am, ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2348197 Sun, 19 Apr 2009 15:15:35 +0100 2348197 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2348198&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F352%2Fblack-cab-v-big-white-taxi%2F Last night we had a call to a woman who’d fallen over and sprained her ankle. The location of the call was “sitting in a black cab”. Sitting in a black cab a mile or two away from the hospital on a busy Friday night. Why on earth did they call an ambulance? Surely the obvious solution here is to get the cab driver to drive to the hospital? They could have driven there and back twice in the forty minutes it took for an ambulance to arrive. I can only suspect the patient didn’t want to pay the fare, or thought she would be seen quicker arriving in a big white taxi as opposed to a black one. It gets worse, though. The ambulance crew were on scene for about fifteen minutes and didn’t even take the patient to hospital. As soon as they had left, the taxi driver call... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2348198 Sat, 18 Apr 2009 15:00:47 +0100 2348198 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2348199&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F349%2Fbook-update%2F Lots of people keep asking so I thought I’d just give you a quick update about how things are going with the book! I’ve got to submit it to Penguin at the end of May and I’m pleased to say I’m well on target. I’ve probably already got the requisite amount of words down although it still needs a lot of tidying up. So far, it consists of: * A “how ambulance control works” section (stuff I’ve probably written about before in my blog, but not all at once) * My favourite posts from the blog. * All new material - some completely new stories and a bit more detail on some of our regular callers. Plus the inside scoop on my visit to 10 Downing Street and the story of How I Found My Flat. I’ve tried to balance old stuff and new stuff - I want all... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2348199 Thu, 16 Apr 2009 20:23:46 +0100 2348199 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2348200&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F347%2Fg20-protests%2F A week ago, you may well have noticed some rather small scale rioting going on London’s financial districts. Had you been anywhere near the London Ambulance Control room, you might have also noticed some small scale panicking coming from the East Central Allocator (me) too. The area of the protests was slap bang in the middle of the area I cover, and if it all kicked off, it was going to be a very busy day. When a major incident occurs, we open up another, smaller, control room (known as ICR - Incident Control Room) next to the main control room. It has its own allocators, radio operators, etc. Any call related to the incident is transferred out there. Because we had prior knowledge that the G20 protests were happening, the room was already set up and ready to go, with the computer ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2348200 Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:19:53 +0100 2348200 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2310082&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F344%2Fobservation-shift-needed%2F I need a favour. I need a nice ambulance crew (or FRU) who are willing to let me come out with them for an observation shift between now and the end of May. The shift, or parts of it, will get a mention in my book (which I have permission from the LAS to write and will be observing all confidentiality stuff so don’t worry about getting in trouble!) A crew from the NE or EC sectors would be best as that’s where I live but I will travel if necessary! Steve has very kindly let me come out with him a few times but has a training crew at the moment so can’t. He can vouch for the fact that I am great at carrying oxygen bags and won’t insist on going back for a rest break, though. Thanks! EDIT. Shift arranged! Thanks for all the offers! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2310082 Sun, 05 Apr 2009 15:04:34 +0100 2310082 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2310083&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F339%2Ffire%2F I was doing a rare shift back on my erstwhile home desk, the North East, when I happened to notice an orange triangle pop up on the mapping screen right on top of my house. “What’s going on there?” I asked the other allocator, who was responsible for looking after that bit of the sector. “Four pump fire!” she said. “Can I use your manager, please?” She took my open mouthed silence as assent. I was too busy pulling up the call in question on my screen to care what she did with my manager. She could send him to Timbuktu for all I cared at that moment. The call read “Large Even Number, Something Street” which was a small comfort because I live at “Large Odd Number, Something Street” which is directly opposite. However, I know f... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2310083 Thu, 26 Mar 2009 10:57:31 +0100 2310083 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2310084&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F337%2Fcall-takers-and-the-fast-test%2F As I mentioned before, the new AMPDS protocols (the thing that tells call takers what to ask) come in very soon. I haven’t had my training yet but lots of the others have, and on the whole they look great - less potential for red calls to people with flu, easier to understand terms (eliminating the dreaded “I don’t know, I’m not a doctor”) and appropriate questions for scenarios that weren’t covered before (like epileptics who feel they are about to have a fit). There is one thing that made me laugh, though. Previously, the identification of strokes was a bit hit and miss - we simply triaged something as a stroke if someone said they thought it was a stroke, or if the call taker thought it sounded a bit like a stroke. Now we have to do the FAST test - as... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2310084 Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:23:33 +0100 2310084 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2285258&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F335%2Freasons-enid-whiner-has-called-999-this-week%2F * She couldn’t reach her TV remote control. * She wanted someone to turn her electric fan on. * She wanted the position of her bed adjusting. * She wanted the crew to give her her medication, even though she’d already had it. * Her incontinence pad needed changing. * Her inflatable mattress needed pumping up. If I had been writing this post a few days ago, I would probably have said something about how it is a shame that Enid is so lonely and has no one else to care for her but it is getting to the stage when Enid is actually driving me insane, and every time I see her address pop up on the screen, I want to throw the computer out of the window. Enid isn’t stupid, she knows that we won’t come out for any of these things, so she always tells the call taker she has di... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2285258 Mon, 23 Mar 2009 11:32:06 +0100 2285258 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2271295&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F332%2Fnew-sector-new-regulars%2F Here are the regulars I have become familiar with in my first month on my new sector: Horace Halfpenny The infamous colostomy flinging wanderer known and dreaded throughout London. Currently residing in a hostel on my sector after making a miraculous recovery from 50% burns caused by setting fire to his own flat. Giving the crews hell. Archie Blazer Psychiatric patient, just out of prison. Exceedingly unpleasant man. Rings and tells call takers that he knows where they live and it will be them needing the ambulance, not him. Funnily enough, we know where he lives too, so he gets frequent visits from the police. Enid Whiner Lonely, elderly, bed bound female who always rings with “chest pain” or “difficulty breathing”. When the crew arrive, she either wants her bedc... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2271295 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 13:11:44 +0100 2271295 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2271296&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F330%2Fugh%2F Diagnosis: “Ate tuna and pickle sandwich. Now feels sick.” What did he expect? Tuna and pickle has got to be one of the most vile fillings ever to grace a sandwich. I felt sick just thinking about it. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2271296 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 00:10:34 +0100 2271296 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2256503&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F328%2Fromance-is-dead%2F The call taker had typed “CHOPPED FINGER OFF” as the diagnosis, which seemed like more than enough reason for me to send an ambulance. Off one sped. The problem was that the call taker then didn’t type anything else, which made me suspicious. Why wasn’t she triaging the call and what had happened at midnight at a residential address to cause an amputated finger? Picking up the phone to listen in, I soon discovered why the call wasn’t progressing. The poor call taker couldn’t get a word in edgeways as the injured man ranted and raved. For a change, he wasn’t ranting and raving about the ambulance service, he was ranting and raving about his girlfriend and how awful she was. Now, we are taught various techniques for taking control of the call and get... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2256503 Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:20:57 +0100 2256503 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2256504&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F326%2Ftwitter%2F I’ve started a Nee Naw twitter, seeing as everyone else seems to be on it. I have no idea how to work it yet (tips greatly appreciated), but if you’d like to be my Twitter friends, search for Nee Naw! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2256504 Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:01:17 +0100 2256504 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2240648&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F321%2Fmy-new-sector%2F I’ve completed two weeks as an Allocator on the East Central and I haven’t killed anyone yet! I’ve also managed not to fall out with any crews or colleagues or cause a significant drop in those all-important performance figures. I haven’t yet worked out which ambulance belongs to Mr Reynolds but I’m working on it. So I can tentatively consider myself a success in my new role. So far. The hardest part so far is getting used to regularly working on a different sector. I was on the North East for three years and only worked other sectors on overtime or relief shifts, allocating with the help of someone who usually works that desk. I knew all the crews’ shift times off by heart and all the little idiosyncrasies of the sector, like the way Tottenham crews gra... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2240648 Fri, 06 Mar 2009 16:51:39 +0100 2240648 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2206698&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F315%2Fbusy-night%2F I had a novel experience this weekend: allocating on the South East on a Friday night. “South East” is a rather misleading name because the sector actually covers the whole of the West End and related area but doesn’t cover Bromley and Orpington (the far south east point of London) - those are part of the South West. Confused already? Good. It’s fair to say I haven’t had such a busy night since New Year’s Eve. In the space of about four hours, we had: (in approximate chronological order, though to be perfectly honest it is all a bit mixed up in my head now) * One “man lying unconscious in the road” who actually turned out to have a life threatening head injury. (And about fifty who were just drunk or asleep.) * One man hit by a fast moving bu... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2206698 Sun, 22 Feb 2009 16:42:21 +0100 2206698 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2200408&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F311%2Fridiculous-diagnosis-of-the-night%2F “25 year old female - Drank a mixture of bleach and aftershave. Caller states he was using it to clean his shirt and patient mistook it for a drink.” If this wasn’t ridiculous enough, the call was received at 2.30am! Who on earth cleans their shirt with a mixture of bleach and aftershave in the middle of the night? Presumably this was a tall tale designed to cover up the fact a self harm attempt, but really, could they not have come up with something SLIGHTLY more believable? I almost wanted to withhold the ambulance on grounds of Unconvincing Lying! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2200408 Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:48:16 +0100 2200408 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2200409&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F309%2Fcotton-bud-in-ear-life-threatening-emergency%2F A couple of weeks ago, the QA (Quality Assurance) man brought round a copy of the new AMPDS (that is, the system call takers use for triage) protocols. It got a hearty thumbs up from just about everyone. AMPDS’s biggest problem is the inclusion of the question “Is s/he breathing normally?” in just about every protocol. If the caller answers no, it tends to decide that the patient has “severe respiratory distress” and churn out a Cat A response. The trouble with this is that if the patient is puffing with pain, or upset and crying, of course their breathing is going to be difficult from normal - but not in a medically relevant way. Yet AMPDS treats someone who is hyperventilating at the pain of their papercut the same as someone with a life threatening asthma a... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2200409 Thu, 19 Feb 2009 11:58:51 +0100 2200409 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2190483&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F307%2Fall-change%2F When I was promoted to Allocator, I was told there was a chance I’d have to change desks and even teams, but I rather brushed it to the back of my mind, thinking that as there was a vacancy on my current desk (the North East), I’d get to stay there. Well, management seem to have had other ideas, because I was told this week I am moving teams (so a whole new rota, and new colleagues) AND desks (so a whole new area to get to know). It really feels like a whole new job now! I’m going to miss my old deskmates - we had a really good team there and I expect they will fall apart without me to keep them in check, hahaha. But I’m quite looking forward to my new desk too - I’ve worked with my new deskmates before and they all seem really nice. And it’s nice to get... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2190483 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 15:37:45 +0100 2190483 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2187664&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F305%2Fplane-crash%2F The reason most Emergency Medical Dispatchers fear the West Desk is because it contains London Heathrow Airport. And London Heathrow Airport contains the possibility of plane crashes. A plane crash is the ultimate major incident of major incidents which would entail us using all our training - and not just the bits we use every day and know off by heart. Some of the procedures are things we have only learned theoretically, and if the worst happens, we have to remember them and get them right because with something like a plane crash, there’s no room for error or slowness. Since my promotion to Allocator, I’ve been slightly nervous that I might have to move to the West Desk, so it was therefore ironic that on my last weekend on the North East Desk, there was a plane crash at Lon... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2187664 Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:29:39 +0100 2187664 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2182405&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F303%2Fsplat%2F Another message from the police: Address: OUTSIDE 45 HIGH ROAD, N28 Diagnosis: PERSON ? FALLEN FROM SCAFFOLDING Special Instructions: POLICE HELICOPTER HAS IDENTIFIED BODY LYING AT BOTTOM OF SCAFFOLDING Of course, we sprang into action for that one! The radio operator broadcasted the call, and H609, who were on their way to one of our regulars who’d fallen in his living room yet again, leapt at the opportunity to go to something a bit more exciting. There were no other takers, so I cancelled them from the regular and sent them to the police job. I let HEMS know, and I was just in the process of ringing a manager when… From: METROPOLITAN POLICE SERVICE To: LONDON AMBULANCE SERVICE CANCELLATION. BODY IS ACTUALLY A LARGE PUDDLE. Hang up on manager. Cancel HEMS. Send H609 back to t... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2182405 Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:34:30 +0100 2182405 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2182406&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F300%2Fmy-bowels-are-hanging-out%2F I can guarantee that the above phrase will ring a bell with pretty much every crew from Tolworth to Chase Farm. And probably many crews from Essex Ambulance Service, South East Coast, possibly even Yorkshire and Scottish Highlands. I wouldn’t even be surprised if some crews from Australia and Timbuktu are nodding knowingly. You see, this is the catchphrase of one of our most prolific regulars. Horace Halfpenny is a homeless, alcoholic gentleman with no affiliation to any particular area. He drifts around London, occasionally stopping off at payphones to call 999. Sometimes he asks a member of the public to call for him. But the problem is always the same. Horace’s bowels are hanging out. I’m led to believe that Horace’s bowels are indeed hanging out - but this is an... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2182406 Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:21:36 +0100 2182406 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2156355&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F298%2Flet-it-snow%2F So, yesterday I left for work an hour early… and arrived an hour early! The tube was running absolutely fine; the only thing that took longer than usual was buying my dinner because half the shops at Waterloo were closed and there were only three tills open at Marks and Spencer. I got to work just as the “extreme over capacity plan” (which, incidentally, I think should be renamed the “getting rid of rubbish calls” plan and used every single day) was winding down. Apparently, for most of the day, anyone ringing with a non life threatening problem (that is, green and some amber calls) were told they needed to make their own way hospital, unless it was blindingly obvious that they couldn’t, in which case sector were allowed to use their common sense and sen... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2156355 Tue, 03 Feb 2009 14:20:30 +0100 2156355 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2152854&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F294%2Fcommunication-between-the-police-and-ambulance-service%2F Address: PIZZA WORLD TAKEAWAY, 200 HIGH STREET, NE20 Diagnosis: CALLER STATES HE IS THE KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHES TO GO TO PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL. Special Instructions: CALLER WILL WAIT INSIDE PIZZA SHOP AS HAS ORDERED A PIZZA. From: LONDON AMBULANCE SERVICE To: METROPOLITAN POLICE SERVICE Message: PLEASE CAN WE HAVE YOUR ASSISTANCE WITH MALE PSYCHIATRIC PATIENT, POSSIBLY VIOLENT, STATING HE IS KING OF ENGLAND AND WISHING TO BE TRANSPORTED TO PSYCH UNIT. From: MPS To: LAS Message: SORRY, NO POLICE AVAILABLE AT PRESENT. WE ARE ON CHANGEOVER. From: LAS To: MPS Message: NO WORRIES - APPARENTLY PATIENT HAS ORDERED PIZZA WHILE HE WAITS. From: MPS To: LAS Message: NO ANCHOVIES FOR US PLEASE. Twenty minutes later. From: LAS To: MPS Message: PLEASE CANCEL. PATIENT HAS RUNG BACK STATING PIZZA NOW R... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2152854 Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:24:27 +0100 2152854 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2144465&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F284%2Fare-you-sur%2F Yesterday, after slaving over a hot application form for weeks and passing an assessment despite not knowing the callsign of the CCV at Waterloo (neither did any one else, including several senior managers), I had an interview for an Allocator position, something I have been after for a long, long time. It’s basically what I am doing now, but with more responsibility (and more money!) It’s still in the thick of the action but higher up the career ladder. It all went reasonably well except for one question. Imagine the easiest, most basic question you could be asked. Something you probably learned on the first day in training school. I will not print this question as management probably do not want their interview questions published, so let’s pretend for the sake of this ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2144465 Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:08:51 +0100 2144465 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2125241&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F280%2Fthe-best-way-to-go%2F I don’t take calls very often any more, and it’s been a long time since I’ve had a real, full on, this-is-what-we’re-here-for cardiac arrest call. In the last four days, I’ve had three. The worst came early this morning. There was nothing unusual about what had happened - an elderly female had passed away unexpectedly in her sleep and been discovered by her daughter. What was more unusual was the daughter’s reaction - she was utterly hysterical. All I could hear was “dead, dead, dead”. After discovering - eventually - who was dead and why, I offered the resuscitation instructions. The caller didn’t do them and she didn’t reject them. Instead, she described her mother’s appearance - stiff, freezing cold, mauve. It was like sh... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2125241 Thu, 22 Jan 2009 21:37:50 +0100 2125241 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2107649&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F278%2Fidiot-of-the-week-award%2F Call taking the other night, I took a call from one of the rudest, most unpleasant, man I have ever encountered. It went something like this: Me: Emergency ambulance, what’s - Him: Are you just going to ask stupid ****ing questions or are you going to send me an ambulance? Me: Um, I’m going to ask questions and I am going to send you the ambulance. Talking to me will not delay help coming. What’s the problem? Him: Listen here, you ****. I don’t have time for this. My wife could be dying and you just want to sit here and ask me questions. Me: We need to ask questions so we can send you the right help. While I am talking to you, someone else is arranging help. Him: I demand you stop asking me questions and ring the ambulance crew up and tell them to come now. Me: That... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2107649 Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:54:33 +0100 2107649 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2097810&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F276%2Ftragedy%2F Tragedies are common in this job. Ambulances aren’t supposed to go to happy events. But usually, in every call, there’s a glimmer of hope, a small positive that we can take home from the situation. Occasionally, this is not so. Occasionally a job is just horror from beginning to end and makes you shudder and feel cold inside. To begin with, there was no indication that the call was anything out of the ordinary. A few days before Christmas, a thirty-nine year old female, in labour. Waters broken. Baby due on Christmas day. How sweet. Sixteen year old daughter making the call. Panicking a bit. As we sent the ambulance, we rolled our eyes and made the usual comments about maternataxis and how after sixteen years as a mother one should know how to get to hospital by taxi and…... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2097810 Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:01:04 +0100 2097810 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2081010&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F274%2Fplease-vote-for-me%2F neenaw http://www.neenaw.co.uk (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2081010 Mon, 05 Jan 2009 21:38:05 +0100 2081010 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2021339&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F271%2Firony%2F After complaining in my last post about the numerous calls we get to “man lying in the road”, what did I happen to find on my way to work yesterday? Yes, that’s right, a man lying in the road. Flat on his face, outside the tube station, in a pool of what looked like urine, a man in his 40s wearing ordinary clothes and carrying a rucksack full of books. I pretended I was in some kind of first aid training exercise and did the whole routine. Check for danger (no knife wielding maniacs or runaway steamrollers in vicinity… good), check for response (unlike in any first aid exercise I have ever done, the response was “mnurgh”, whatever question I asked or instruction I gave), do secondary survey to determine if patient has anything horrible like a broken leg ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2021339 Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:02:19 +0100 2021339 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2021340&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F269%2Ffru-assaulted%2F This week, the North East Desk acquired a bunch of FRUs (Fast Response Unit, ambulance car, solo, etc). There have always been FRUs in the North East, of course, but previously they were run by their own desk and while we could see what they were doing, we didn’t have any control over them. So far, I’ve much preferred having them on the desk - it’s more work but makes things easier in the long run. However, our first weekend with the FRUs on the desk was marred by a horrible incident. We got a call to a “man lying in the road”. As I’ve mentioned before, 99% of these calls turn out to be someone drunk, or a homeless person sleeping. The member of the public who calls in doesn’t want to get too close and put themselves in danger, so they let a parame... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2021340 Sun, 07 Dec 2008 15:33:58 +0100 2021340 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2017464&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F266%2Fthe-caller-who-cried-wolf%2F Some time ago, I wrote about one of our regular callers, Brenda Kramer. (Not her real name - don’t start!) Brenda was an alcoholic who liked to call us out for increasingly inventive diagnoses (once she pretended her house was on fire, another time she pretended to be a neighbour who had found her, Brenda, dead). Invariably, she would turn out to have nothing wrong with her, waste the crews’ time, refuse to travel, be abusive towards them and occasionally answer the door completely naked. And ten minutes after they left, she’d call 999 again. Most call takers would recognise her voice as soon as it came through. Since I made that last post, two and a half years ago, Brenda stepped up her abuse of the 999 system. She was calling several times every single day. Social Servi... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2017464 Fri, 05 Dec 2008 14:54:28 +0100 2017464 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1968671&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F264%2Fforeign-bodies%2F While you may think ambulance workers are mature professionals who have seen and heard everything, every now and then a call pops up on our screen that makes our eyes water. One such call appeared the other day. A four year old boy had somehow managed to get a Triple A battery wedged irretrievably in his foreskin. (Point of note: the FRED system automatically dispatched a fast response car, thinking the “Triple A” bit referred to an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm. Not so clever, FRED…) This, of course, led to much confusion and speculation as to how the battery found itself in the offending region in the first place and the position it must be in for it to be so irrevocably wedged. No firm conclusions were reached. The conversation progressed to other foreign objects in genita... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1968671 Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:31:38 +0100 1968671 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1837062&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F262%2Fwere-here-for-heart-attacks-and-babies-not-breathing%2F This week, a bulletin came round from the control room from the Complaints Department. It said that when ringing back lower priority calls, people have been saying things like “We don’t have an ambulance to send at the moment. All our vehicles are out on higher priority calls, like heart attacks, babies not breathing - that’s what we’re here for”. The bulletin said we should not say things like that, because it gives the caller the impression that their call isn’t important. I just don’t agree with this. It seems to be saying that it is wrong for Control staff to try to educate people about the proper use of the service. How are we ever going to cut down on inappropriate calls if nothing is done to teach people? By not saying things like that, we a... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1837062 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:56:18 +0100 1837062 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1833092&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F260%2Fcalltaking%2F I must have upset management this week, because I found myself taking calls for the first time in ages. When you’re not used to taking calls it can be a bit of a culture shock to find yourself confronted with the entire spectrum of 999 callers - the rude, the polite, the stupid, the helpful, the suspicious, the infuriating and the plain bizarre. You start the day with your best “polite voice” on keep reciting things to yourself like “there are no inappropriate calls, only inappropriate responses” and “don’t take it personally, they are only shouting because they are upset” but after 12 hours the smile starts to slip. You realise that “I’ve picked my spot and it is bleeding” IS an inappropriate call, whichever way you look at... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1833092 Fri, 26 Sep 2008 15:10:58 +0100 1833092 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1825439&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F255%2Fteamwork-and-the-disaster-desk%2F It’s become a bit of a running joke that whenever I work on a particular desk on the other side of the room (usually when I am in on overtime), everything kicks off and there is calamity and disaster. Well, the other week, I worked on that particular desk as an allocator, and it was the day from hell. There were three open leg fractures, an old lady crushed by a milk float, a stabbing, a bottling, a fight between forty people and an extremely suspicious death… but one call overshadowed the rest. The Desk of Disaster, unlike my usual home, the North East, contains large patches of countryside, the no man’s land between London’s suburbs and the territory of the neighbouring ambulance service. Even on blue lights, running from the nearest ambulance station, it takes at... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1825439 Tue, 23 Sep 2008 12:30:24 +0100 1825439 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1775503&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F253%2Fnew-site-design%2F Nee Naw has been given a revamp by my friend Eddie of I Want Your T-Shirt Web Design. Please take a minute to have a look at the new design and give me your thoughts. I’m loving the new look but if there’s anything you lot think could be improved, leave a comment here and I’ll pass it on. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1775503 Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:38:11 +0100 1775503 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1733754&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F252%2Fbananaman-foiled%2F I am pleased to report that finally, after a year of torment, Banana Man has been caught and stopped. I worked for twelve hours on the East Central desk today and there was NOT ONE single call to that particular Woolworths, no one collapsed on the runway at Gatwick Airport, no itchy penises and definitely no offers of a banana. He was caught by an ingenious police officer, who called him back pretending to be someone running a competition, asking him to give his name and address so his prize could be sent. Banana Man took the bait and revealed all. It transpired that Banana Man is only a teenager and is seriously disabled, so at the moment he isn’t being prosecuted. Social Services are getting involved and trying to put a stop to the calls, and so far so good. I must admit that afte... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1733754 Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:46:52 +0100 1733754 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1733755&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F251%2Fsuicide%2F For some reason, it seemed the depressives of London all decided to pick the same weekend to attempt to end it all. Even the nurses answering the blue call phones at the hospital commented on the number of overdoses and slit wrists that were coming in. There was one call that stood out, though. A woman in her thirties. Her husband had just walked out, leaving her with a selection of children between four and twenty-one. Beside herself, she couldn’t go on. Then and there, in the presence of her kids, she’d decided to commit suicide. You may ask yourself what sort of person would kill themselves in front of her children, but if you want proof that the balance of her mind was disturbed, look no further than the method she used to die. She drank hydrochloric acid. If you’re... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1733755 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:12:13 +0100 1733755 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1733756&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F250%2Floose-horse%2F Meanwhile, on the extreme other side of my patch, a Hornchurch crew were on the way back to their ambulance station, which is located in a semi-rural area on the very edge of London. They were flagged down by a rather frantic looking FRU, who’d come across a loose horse wandering across a dual carriageway. Horses aren’t entirely my speciality, and this is the LAS, not the RSPCA, but they couldn’t exactly just leave it, so I typed the incident as a running call and called the police, hoping they’d have the faintest idea what to do, because none of us did. An hour later (and fortunately with no life threatening calls in the crew’s area that couldn’t be covered, because that would have presented me with a dilemma) the horse was rounded up and returned to i... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1733756 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:26:36 +0100 1733756 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1733757&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F249%2Fa-genuine-call-for-once%2F Two police officers on the beat around 2AM, five minutes walk from where I live, saw a gang of youths running away from a bus station. Running to the bus station, they found a eighteen year old boy lying on the ground with serious stab wounds. The ticket the police sent us requested an ambulance “on the extreme hurry up”. Fortunately, one of my vehicle had just finished up at the hospital, about a mile away, as the call came in. It only took them a couple of minutes to reach the bus station, but it was too late. The boy’s injuries were too severe, and although they blued him into hospital, he died. Six hours later, at the end of my shift, I passed the bus station on my way home. I could see the blue and white police tape, a couple of patrol cars, and that people had alre... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1733757 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 18:25:33 +0100 1733757 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1733758&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F248%2Fanother-hoaxer%2F I clocked it as a hoax as soon as it came in. We’ve been getting regular hoaxes from a male who gives various addresses around a dodgy council estate in the East End. He’s cleverer and more calculating than Banana Man - he never gives the same address twice, so we can’t simply tag the location as one we do not send to, he uses different mobile numbers and call boxes, so we can’t recognise him by the number, and he gives outlandish yet plausible diagnoses - “I’ve stabbed my wife”, “My girlfriend has overdosed and isn’t breathing” and, on this occasion, he told us he’d been shot, howled in pain, then dropped the phone as if passing out. I knew it was going to be a hoax. But I couldn’t treat it any differently. I sent th... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1733758 Mon, 25 Aug 2008 17:17:55 +0100 1733758 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1700598&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F247%2Flife-status-questionable%2F We get loads of these calls. Hundreds. The story goes, a helpful passerby has seen someone lying (NOT “laying”, please dear call takers) by the roadside, has not wanted to get up close to them, has rung us and has been unable to verify if the patient is conscious or breathing, and thus we have to treat them as if they are in cardiac arrest until proven otherwise. 99.9% of the time, not only are these patients not dead, they are not even ill. Some of them are drunk and a lot of them are merely homeless people sleeping. They rarely take kindly to having an ambulance crew turn up and prod them, and us control bods are similarly unimpressed that these calls have to take precedence over strokes and fits and broken legs. So when we got the following ten minutes from the end of the s... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1700598 Tue, 12 Aug 2008 15:35:06 +0100 1700598 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1674791&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F246%2Fbanana-man%2F Having worked out that we are no longer sending ambulances to that address that might just be a Woolworth’s in the East End, our obsessive hoaxer has now taken to telling us he is at Gatwick Airport. Sitting on the runaway. Suffering from an itchy penis. Offering us bananas. I must have spoken to him twenty times last night. I swear that if I ever come across this individual, I will do something with a banana which necessitates a genuine phone call to the emergency services. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1674791 Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:44:19 +0100 1674791 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1615880&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F245%2Fspellchecker%2F Apparently we are getting a spell checker added to the call taking system. This is not a moment too soon. I sometimes think the ambulance service has a deliberate policy of employing people who cannot spell “vomiting” (it’s either vommiting or vomitting. Occasionally vommitting…) or diarrhoea (the permutations are endless…) I know diarrhoea is a difficult word to spell and some people are dyslexic or whatever, but honestly, if you need to write a word several times a day, you should learn to spell it! It’s a shame that a spellchecker won’t pick up the countless calls to persons “laying” in the road (to which my response is always “Laying what? An egg?”). I’m not sure the spellchecker would help with the following erro... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1615880 Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:30:38 +0100 1615880 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1615881&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F244%2Fknife-crime%2F Four people were stabbed to death on my sector (the North East) yesterday. I’ve been on nights this week, so I was only really involved in the Walthamstow and Tottenham stabbings, though I caught the aftermath of the Leyton one. As they’ve all been reported in the national news, I can’t give any details other than to say what I heard from the crews and 999 callers was quite stomach churning and heartrending, and why the hell do people go round doing this to each other? What the newspapers DON’T report is the hundreds of non-fatal stabbings that happen every day. Stabbing used to be a major big deal, but now it’s commonplace, and only makes the news if someone died. There was another stabbing in the afternoon on my sector, where the patient had life-threateni... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1615881 Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:57:59 +0100 1615881 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1615882&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F243%2Fjimmy%2F A while ago, I wrote about Jimmy, a regular caller of whom I am rather fond. (A stark contrast to most of our regulars, who are complete pains in the posterior). Shortly after I made that post, Jimmy called us feeling suicidal and was taken in to the local hospital - something which has happened on countless occasions before. From that day on, we heard nothing. Jimmy went from calling us several times a night to never calling us at all. I remembered what Jimmy had told me - that he’d been told he wouldn’t live to see his 25th birthday, that he was now 26, and certainly wouldn’t live to see another birthday unless he stopped drinking… despite his best efforts, Jimmy had cut down but not stopped. I assumed the worst, and felt sad for Jimmy. This is one of the perils o... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1615882 Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:47:46 +0100 1615882 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1577228&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F242%2Fweeping-willows%2F The call on our screen was from Greater Manchester Ambulance Service, and there was a lot of detail crammed into a short space. “30yof ? ‘mental breakdown’. Has just had daughter taken away from her. ? suicidal. Sister in Manchester concerned for her safety. Sent text saying ‘goodbye’. Patient’s name Anna, sister’s name Jenny.” A lot of the time, we get calls like this, turn up, find the patient drowning their sorrows but otherwise okay and make a reassuring call to the concerned relative. Other times, we find the house locked, with no answer at the door, call the police round with their enforcers to break it down… just at the point the ‘patient’ returns from shopping. Such ‘patients’ are rarely impressed. On ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1577228 Fri, 04 Jul 2008 08:48:16 +0100 1577228 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1551252&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F241%2Fregular-hoaxers%2F I will never understand why some people think it is funny or clever to hoax call the emergency services. Hoax calls cost lives. Whilst ambulance crews drive round in circles trying to find patients that don’t exist and accidents that never happened, and control staff waste hours on the phone trying to determine the location of fictitious incidents, other, genuine patients are put in danger. The vast majority of hoaxes come from children, most of whom, I hope, get a stern talking to from their parents when the ambulance turns up (children tend not to realise that we can trace any landline call, and the owner of any registered mobile!) and never do it again. There are also a fair few from older teenagers, who, I’m guessing, are doing it for a dare. This type of hoax is pretty ea... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1551252 Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:27:18 +0100 1551252 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1458426&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F240%2Fquick-quiz%2F Okay, a quick quiz for you. The four jobs that I wrote about on my observation shift with Steve - what do they all have in common. Just a quick recap, there was: * An old lady on the floor with a broken hip who was in very severe pain. * A man who’d swallowed a fish bone and thought it might be stuck in his throat, who was alert and standing round chatting when we arrived. * A rather perplexing depressed man who refused all help from us and sent us away. * A prisoner with a potentially life threatening arterial bleed after being slashed in the face. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1458426 Tue, 20 May 2008 20:29:58 +0100 1458426 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1458427&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F239%2Fobservation-shift-4-prisoner%2F There was just time for one more job before my day out with Steve and his crewmate was over. Glancing at the clock, Steve asked me what I’d like to see. A working suspended, perhaps? A BBA? Anaphylactic shock? No, I said, I’d like to see a bit of nasty trauma. *RING RING* *RING RING* I was first in the ambulance and leant over the partition to see what was on the MDT screen. It was a call to the prison. A prisoner had had his throat slit. This is what happens when I’m not careful what I wish for. Off we went to the prison, where we were met with by a vacant looking security guard who went through an elaborate ritual of opening and closing gates at snail’s pace before ushering us through and pointing wordlessly in the direction of one of the prison blocks. We wer... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1458427 Tue, 20 May 2008 20:13:32 +0100 1458427 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1451713&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F238%2Femail%2F I somehow seem to have managed to lose a week’s worth of emails to my neenaw address - if you’ve sent me anything recently and not got a reply, please resend it! Thanks. (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1451713 Sat, 17 May 2008 19:49:37 +0100 1451713 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1451714&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F237%2Fwhat-did-you-do-this-weekend%2F One of the worst things about this job is having to work at weekends. I’m always acutely aware of the things I could be doing when instead I am rising at 5am to go and sit in a stuffy control room wearing green and talking to idiots, timewasters and the occasionally critically ill person. My general procedure for working Saturdays is to sit with a glum look on my face moaning “The football will be kicking off about now… and now my friends will be in the pub… and now they’ll be out clubbing… and POOR ME”. And then sometimes, something happens to make you stop feeling sorry for yourself, and that there are much worse places you can be. An ordinary family, consisting of a man and a woman in their late twenties and their ten month old son, who appare... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1451714 Sat, 17 May 2008 19:45:01 +0100 1451714 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1434383&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F236%2Fobservation-shift-3-depressed%2F Our third call was to the local council estate for a middle aged man who was, apparently, feeling depressed and suicidal. Now I like psychiatric patients. Maybe it’s because I’m a bit nuts too, but I seem to have a certain affinity with them and often find myself having long, drawn out chats with them on quiet night shifts. We rang the intercom and Raymond, our patient, unhurriedly let us in. Silently, he beckoned us into his bedroom, flopped on to the bed and sighed. I wasn’t surprised he was depressed; his bedroom was one of the most depressing places I have ever been in. Walls stained nicotine brown, carpet sticky, furniture ancient, it was severely in need of a make over. “So, Raymond, what seems to be the problem today?” said Steve cheerily. “I&#... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1434383 Sun, 11 May 2008 19:39:55 +0100 1434383 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1433695&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F235%2Fobservation-shift-2-expect-the-unexpected%2F The second call was to the canteen of the local police station, for a member of staff choking on a fishbone. Great, I thought, a rare opportunity to watch a police officer get punched in the back without anyone getting in trouble! (I jest, of course I love the police. I couldn’t do their job, dealing with breaking bad news and horrible criminals all day long. It would drive me mad.) Anyway, I was disappointed when we arrived because the patient, Alan, a) wasn’t a police officer, he was a handyman doing some work at the police station b) was standing up chatting to some other members of staff and it wasn’t entirely clear which one we were supposed to be attending to. It turned out that Alan wasn’t so much choking on the fish bone but had swallowed it and could now f... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1433695 Sat, 10 May 2008 15:24:00 +0100 1433695 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1428927&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F234%2Fobservation-shift-1-broken-hip%2F A few weeks ago, I went on an observation shift with Steve and his crewmate. We had a touch of Observer’s Curse - only four jobs over the whole shift, about half what I’d expect for a busy station like theirs - but all the calls were interesting in their own way and I’d rather see four “real” calls than eight cases of flu! There was also a rather amusing incident when we took our rest break at another ambulance station, and all the crews at that station, not knowing who I was or even that I wasn’t just another paramedic/EMT, decided to launch into a diatribe about how much they hate control staff, how evil we all are and how all we care about is screwing them over and giving them rest breaks. I covered my “Emergency Medical Dispatcher” epaul... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1428927 Thu, 08 May 2008 07:58:10 +0100 1428927 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1426232&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F233%2Fofficial-nee-naw-reopening%2F Right folks, this blog is back in business! And what better way to get things started but with my favourite topic, a rant about care homes? The call went something like this: Me: “Nee Naw Service, what is the address of the emergency?” Care home worker gives an address which is not the address the phone is registered to. This is not unusual for care homes as they sometimes go via a switchboard. But I can’t get a match for the address she gives me. Computer says no. Computer says address does not exist. I try to get her to spell it, but she just keeps repeating the address. Then she gasps, and says “No, actually, it’s…” and gives me the address the phone is registered to which has been sitting in front of me all along. Great. Several minutes wast... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1426232 Wed, 07 May 2008 08:54:04 +0100 1426232 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1353877&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F232%2Ftemporary-blog-closure%2F As you’ve probably noticed, I haven’t updated this blog for a while. This is for a number of reasons: low morale in the control room (the powers that be have been messing with our rotas, overtime and the structure of the control room, and it would be difficult for me to post without going into a rant about it, which is not what I started this blog for!), general difficult personal circumstances that I won’t go into, the fact that I have just moved house and don’t have a computer desk which makes typing rather awkward, annoyance at hackers, spammers and rude colleagues commenting on my posts and not having the time to constantly check for inappropriate comments that need deleting. I will pick up in the future but right now I cannot give you the entertaining posts tha... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1353877 Sun, 06 Apr 2008 21:08:38 +0100 1353877 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1236941&cid=t_101014_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2008%2F02%2F16%2Fanother-campus-tragedy-niu%2F Northern Illinois University (NIU) is a peaceful university located in Dekalb, Illinois, about 65 miles west of Chicago. It has a beautiful campus and the town and university live in a beneficial co-existence. It is the last place you’d ever expect the kind of tragedy that unfolded on Thursday to happen. Stephen Phillip Kazmierczak, the gunman who killed five students and himself and injured 20 more at Northern Illinois University on Thursday still had guns and ammunition available when he turned the gun on himself. Campus police responded to the shooting within minutes, but could only call for ambulances; Kazmierczak was already dead upon their arrival. And according to the Detroit Free Press, Kazmierczak, 27, was the last person on earth you’d suspect as being capable of t... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1236941 Sat, 16 Feb 2008 13:30:16 +0100 1236941 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1211999&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F231%2Fbe-careful-what-you-wish-for-part-1%2F This week is Relief Week, which means I get to work on other desks. Yesterday, I found myself on the South West desk. The South West is where Steve works, and as I rang his station, I wondered if he was working today. On my tea break, I checked my phone, and there was a message from Steve. “Listening to you on channel 4! I’m on the FRU, SW500.” I promised I’d keep an eye open for any interesting calls for him! Back in the room, there was a buzz on my radio. “Red base, SW500 on channel 4?” said a familiar voice. “Go ahead, SW500, over.” “I’ve just been sent on cad 590, an amber* to a woman who has had… vaginal pain… for two weeks. I don’t suppose I could be cancelled?” I checked that we had a vehicle ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1211999 Wed, 06 Feb 2008 10:45:54 +0100 1211999 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1191305&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F230%2Fambulance-arrives-too-quickly%2F Thanks to Reynolds for this link. Well, no thanks really, because it has made me angry and flabbergasted very early in the morning. The article is about a 77-year-old man who had a fall in a pub. He fractured his skull and sadly died. His family are thinking of suing the ambulance service, because, wait for it, they arrived TOO QUICKLY and therefore did not see all the information given in the 999 call. Have you ever heard anything like it? Perhaps they should have parked on the opposite side of the road and refused to leave the cab until the call was complete? No doubt then someone would be suing because the ambulance took too long to arrive! A few points: - The ambulance took four minutes to arrive. On average, 999 calls take 2-3 minutes. So perhaps someone should sue those helpful bys... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1191305 Thu, 31 Jan 2008 12:05:24 +0100 1191305 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1177618&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F229%2Fjimmy-the-alcoholic%2F Our regular callers are a funny lot. There are nice ones, nasty ones and downright annoying ones, like Mrs Haddock, an elderly woman with Parkinson’s disease, who calls every night without fail, claiming to be on the floor when really she wants the nice ambulance crew to change the TV channel for her. Legend has it that when one ambulance crew refused, she tried to attack them with her walking stick! Probably the second most frequent caller on our sector, after Mrs Haddock, is Jimmy. Jimmy is 26 years old, a psychiatric patient and an alcoholic. His address is tagged on our computer system, and the warning reads something like this. “Jimmy Smirnoff, alcoholic, psychiatric, can be violent and unpredictable, self-harm, injects self with disinfectant and bleach, carries knives. S... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1177618 Fri, 25 Jan 2008 11:02:05 +0100 1177618 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1147236&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F228%2Ftwo-things-siren-voices-and-recent-comments%2F If you’re at a loose end, I strongly recommend you have a read of Siren Voices, a new blog by an Emergency Medical Technician. I know there’s a lot of ambulance blogs out there now, and I do enjoy reading all of them, but I think this one is something special. Go and have a read! — On a less cheerful note, there has been a spate of comments on my blog recently from a disgruntled colleague who seems to think that I make up tales to “spice up” this blog. This simply isn’t true. I change details to protect patient (and colleague) confidentiality, but that’s it. As for background information, I use reliable sources like the BBC and the LAS website. If ever there is an error in anything I have written, it was made in good faith and not to “spice... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1147236 Sat, 12 Jan 2008 11:38:39 +0100 1147236 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1128582&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F226%2Fnew-years-eve%2F Many of my non-ambulance friends say they don’t like New Year’s Eve. Everywhere’s packed and expensive and you are forced to hug people you don’t like and then make your way home with a bunch of puking drunks. Well, let me tell you that compared with my New Year’s Eve, that sounds like heaven! You people with normal jobs don’t know how lucky you are. A New Year’s Eve of call taking is about as close you can get to hell on earth. However many ambulances you have, however many call takers you have (we had more call takers than telephones), you are never, ever going to cope. There were 1,825 calls between midnight and 4am, and 6,114 for the entire day. (To compare - on an average weekend night, I’d expect about 700 calls between midnight and 4am... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1128582 Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:54:37 +0100 1128582 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1128583&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F225%2Fhospital-on-fire%2F Just as everyone is whinging about going back to work, I am finally getting four whole days to myself. I only managed two complete days off between December 21st and today… so I was looking enviously on at everyone else enjoying the post-Christmas and New Year Festivities (more on the latter later) and eagerly looking forward to joining in… only to find it’s too late and everyone is busy taking their trees down! Damnit. Who’d be a shift worker?! I was hoping for a q-u-i-e-t shift yesterday. It was my last one, and having changed from days to nights and back again in the space of four days, my body clock had packed up and I was half asleep. Still, a chilly Wednesday at the beginning of January - there wouldn’t be much going on, would there? Wrong. “Hel... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1128583 Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:58:25 +0100 1128583 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1123227&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F224%2Fnew-years-resolution%2F … I will update my blog more often! Sorry. I’ve been so busy! At the moment I am in the middle of a hellish block of shifts: Friday, Saturday and Sunday days, Monday night, then Wednesday day! By the end of it I won’t know if I am coming or going. I am gritting my teeth and thinking of the Christmas Attendance Bonus… A little piece of Christmas cheer for you. Two days before Christmas, we had a call in to a man in his early fifties who, by the sounds of it, was having a heart attack. Just as the crew arrived, he stopped breathing and went into cardiac arrest. The crew got out their drugs and zappers and whatever else they use on the euphemistically “suspended”, and thirty minutes later, we got the following blue call (well, not quite, I’ve subst... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1123227 Mon, 31 Dec 2007 15:14:20 +0100 1123227 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1076165&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F223%2Fmy-babys-not-breathing%2F The title of this post is probably number one on the list of “things call takers don’t want to hear”. Unfortunately, it was exactly how the call began. “My baby’s not breathing,” said the panicked mother. “He’s blue and his face is covered in vomit… I think he’s choked on it!” I asked for the address immediately. I wouldn’t have understood what she’d said but fortunately she was calling from a landline, so I could see her address. She lived on a dual carriageway. When you get a call to a dual carriageway, it’s important to find which carriageway the address is on, otherwise the ambulance may be sent from the wrong direction, meaning it has to go all the way up to the next junction, go round a roundabout a... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1076165 Fri, 07 Dec 2007 14:15:30 +0100 1076165 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1068636&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F222%2Fnasty-rta%2F While offices all over the world are steady winding down for Christmas, Nee Naw Control just gets busier and busier. The cold weather has a negative effect on the elderly and festive drinking does little for the young. Staffing levels are not great, because everyone’s off with the flu, and the overall result is one of Too Many Calls, Not Enough Ambulances. I was just about managing to keep on top of it by getting the poor radio op to lose her voice broadcasting the calls we were holding and cajoling the long suffering ambulances turn around a little bit quicker at hospital. Then the call which was to be the final straw came in. A car hit a motorcyclist on a busy, fast road right in the middle of my patch. The car actually drove over the top of the motorcyclist before it managed to ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1068636 Tue, 04 Dec 2007 10:32:09 +0100 1068636 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1057248&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F221%2Fstill-alive-2%2F Sorry I haven’t posted lately! I have been dead busy but I promise to provide you with some new ambulance tales soon - but not right now as I am supposed to be working on a presentation about the 999 system for some St John Ambulance cadets! To give me some inspiration for new posts, I’m throwing this one over to you lot: ask me a question or give me a topic and I promise to write a blog post about it. (Er, assuming it’s on topic and not breaking the law or the bounds of decency.) (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1057248 Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:18:03 +0100 1057248 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1000921&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F220%2Ftimeline-of-a-bba%2F I hope you’re not all sick to death of reading posts about babies making unexpected appearances! I’ve gone for a different angle on this one and brought home a copy of the log, so you can see exactly what was going on behind the scenes while I was helping a new grandfather deliver his daughter’s baby. 13.41:49 Call comes in. I give the standard opening line - “Ambulance service, what’s the problem? Tell me exactly what’s happened?”* Middle-aged gentleman explains: “My daughter is pregnant! And she’s having a baby! Like, now! On the bathroom floor!” I condense this to three letters - BBA - which is a clear message to sector to GO GO GO. By the time I have typed BBA and pressed return, the allocator on the sector desk can see the c... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1000921 Fri, 02 Nov 2007 13:44:56 +0100 1000921 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=969992&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F219%2Fa-complaint%2F Last weekend, at about 4am, I took a call from a middle aged man. He’d apparently been cooking his dinner and spilled some oil on the floor, slipped in it and banged his head, knocking himself out. When he’d come round, he’d called 999. There was nothing really unusual about the call, except the fact that the man had been cooking at 4am in the first place, so I didn’t really give it a second thought, until half an hour later another call came in from the same place. The same man was ranting and raving and calling the poor ambulance crew that had attended him all sorts of unpleasant words. I now realised that his slightly slurred speech that I had previously attributed to his knock on the head was actually due to drunkenness. Looking back, drunkenness was probably th... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=969992 Mon, 22 Oct 2007 17:42:38 +0100 969992 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=952028&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F218%2Feastenders-in-unrealistic-shocker%2F Ian Beale calling for an ambulance: “Ambulance. We’re on the top floor. It’s a block of flats. A big block of flats. I don’t know what it’s called. ” [Lucy shouts something that sounds like “Rsomethingside House”] “Rsomethingside House! My wife’s been SHOT! Just come quick! What? Yeah. Police.” That’s ALL he said, and yet somehow the ambulance managed to get there within ORCON and whisk poor Jane to hospital. Now, I know it would probably spoil the flow of the storyline for Ian to spend too much time talking to 999, but he could at least have given an intelligible address with some kind of indication of which area he was in and answered a couple of questions (as another character, Garry, did in a recent storyline when... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=952028 Mon, 15 Oct 2007 19:40:14 +0100 952028 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=931041&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F217%2Fhow-many-ambulances-does-it-take-to-change-a-lightbulb%2F Occasionally, we get wildly inappropriate calls which are not your usual brand of timewaster but people who do not know where to turn and are using 999 as a kind of general helpline. I often wonder what makes them request ‘ambulance’ instead of ‘police’ or ‘fire’ - I guess it’s just that they see police as scary law enforcers and don’t want an entire engine full of firemen turning up, so ambulance is the only option left. One such call came in this week, at around 8pm. It was from a woman in her 80s who was a carer for her disabled, bedbound sister, who was even older. The little old lady was very upset because the lightbulb in her sister’s bedroom had broken. Apparently, her sister was scared of the dark, never switched the light out ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=931041 Fri, 05 Oct 2007 16:56:37 +0100 931041 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=913455&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F216%2Fnothing-to-live-for%2F If I’d been on night shifts this week, I’d have David Beckham’s dad to add to my list of celebrity patients (along with David Hasselhoff and Brian Harvey). But as I was on days, I found myself dealing with what must be one of the most horrible calls ever. I was on the radio at the time and I don’t envy the call taker who took this one bit. It came in from man who was doing building work on a house. He heard a commotion coming from the house opposite and went to see if everyone was okay. Everyone was not okay; everyone was screaming because someone was not breathing. Since everyone was panicking, the workman dialled 999. Before starting CPR, the call taker quickly asked what had happened, in case this was a dangerous situation for our crew. The workman didn’t ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=913455 Sat, 29 Sep 2007 09:28:06 +0100 913455 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=909347&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F215%2Fbba-fever%2F Since I posted the BBA Transcript from the Guardian last week, the EMD concerned, Katie Vallis, has shot to fame and appeared on BBC Five Live, BBC News, ITV News, GMTV and in The Sun and The Mail! I think it’s brilliant that the ambulance service, and the control room in particular, are getting some positive recognition for once. Normally, whenever we end up in the papers it’s because someone has made a mistake or had to wait too long for an ambulance and it is somewhat demoralising to have all the good things the service does overlooked to dwell on the rare occasions when things go wrong. Us people in the control room are particularly overlooked. Successful resuses, BBAs, choking toddlers saved, people talked out of suicide… I’ve done all these and never received ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=909347 Fri, 28 Sep 2007 09:24:25 +0100 909347 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=903219&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F214%2Fstuck-in-a-tunnel%2F I’m into my fourth week (or thereabouts) of allocating. I think I’m doing okay. I say this because no one has died as a result of my actions and none of the crews have put in an official complaint about me. Today something somewhat out of the ordinary happened which tested my fledging allocating skills. If you were travelling by tube today, you might already be aware of it. There was some kind of signal failure on a tube (underground train) line leading to several trains being stuck in tunnels. London tube trains are very cramped and hot and a lot of the passengers are standing up, so when this happens you get a lot of people fainting, having panic attacks, shouting at each other and generally London Underground requested ambulances to four different tube stops, three of whi... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=903219 Tue, 25 Sep 2007 20:04:47 +0100 903219 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=895766&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F213%2Fhaunted-by-ambulances%2F I live on a busy road in the middle of my sector, so it’s not unusual for calls to the vicinity of my home to pop up on my screen. Today, however, was a little unusual. No sooner than I had sat down the in the allocator’s chair, I had to give out a call to an assault that had happened smack-bang outside my house. That was especially scary considering I had been there on my own in the dark 90 minutes beforehand! Then, a few minutes later, there was a diabetic collapsed in the road just round the corner by my local pub. A spate of calls followed for a drunk lying in the road near the High Street around lunchtime, though this is hardly unusual. A young woman was run over by a car travelling at 40mph a couple of junctions down the road from my house in the early afternoon (I know f... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=895766 Mon, 24 Sep 2007 19:17:26 +0100 895766 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=894078&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F212%2Ffacebook%2F I’ve followed Beaker’s lead and set up a Facebook account for Nee Naw - if anyone would like to add me as a friend, I’m there as Mark Myers or mark [at] neenaw.co.uk. Not quite sure what I am going to do with it yet. Maybe post lots of pretty pictures of ambulances taken with my mobile phone camera. (Yes, I do do that. How sad.) (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=894078 Sun, 23 Sep 2007 14:27:16 +0100 894078 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=892354&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F211%2Fpsychiatric-patients%2F Psychiatric patients are some of my favourites, just behind deaf old people. I could sit and take calls from them all night. My record spent on the phone with a psychiatric patient was one hour and forty minutes. It was quiet on call taking but there was a shortage of ambulances in her area, and because she was non-violent and non-suicidal — the reason she’d rung was because she was scared there were monsters in her house — she was a low priority call and I offered to stay on the phone until we got there. I had nearly lost my voice by the time we did. I had the following conversation with a psychiatric patient yesterday: Me: Emergency ambulance, blah… Him: (in calm and friendly tone) I think I need to go to A+E. I self harmed yesterday. (At this point I am thinking... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=892354 Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:43:34 +0100 892354 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=880083&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F210%2Fbba-transcript%2F A transcript of a BBA call from Guardian Unlimited - thought this would be of interest to some of you! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=880083 Tue, 18 Sep 2007 13:49:11 +0100 880083 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=880084&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F209%2Ffeeling-chilli%2F On a lighter note, a call one of my colleagues took recently: Caller: I’ve got a chilli in my vagina! Call taker: Um. Okay. What’s the address we’re coming to? Caller: No… I just wanted some advice. We’re not actually allowed to give advice over the phone but on this occasion my colleague thought this was less like advice and more like Stating The Bleeding Obvious… Call taker: Well, my advice is to take the chilli out of your vagina. And some more good advice is not to put chillis in your vagina. They are far better in curries. Caller: Thank you! Call taker: (firing up the psychiatric card just in case) Are you sure you don’t need an ambulance? (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=880084 Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:12:09 +0100 880084 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=880085&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F208%2Fkeeping-it-together%2F Unless you’ve been living on another planet, you will undoubtedly have heard of Madeleine McCann, the missing child whose parents are now under suspicion of murdering her. I have been rather captivated by the case, but this is a blog about ambulances, not missing children, so I won’t start boring you with my endless opinions and speculation. There is one thing, though, that I think is relevant, and that’s one of the reasons people have for suspecting the McCanns. Apparently, their lack of emotion, the way they have calmly and efficiently gone about setting up a fund and a worldwide publicity campaign to find Madeleine, is an indicator that they are guilty. According to some, any parent faced with the loss of their child should simply fall to pieces and become an ineffectu... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=880085 Tue, 18 Sep 2007 11:04:14 +0100 880085 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=873708&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F207%2Flast-breath%2F My shifts on call taking are generally limited to two every five weeks these days, on the part of my rota called “relief week” which is when we work with other watches. Consequently, I’m a bit rusty with it and tend to forget how exasperating a lot of the calls are and how exhausting a day on call taking is. Thank god I don’t have to do it four days in a row any more. One call reminded me of just how close to incidents we really do get as call takers. It was a call from an elderly lady who was a carer for her even more elderly friend. Her friend had suddenly started vomiting a lot of bright red blood, which as you can imagine is not a good sign. The call came out as a category A, which would usually have meant an ambulance in about five minutes, but unfortunately,... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=873708 Sat, 15 Sep 2007 11:16:50 +0100 873708 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=833313&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F206%2Fand-now-for-something-completely-different%2F Sick of ambulances? Sick of posts about whinging patients, dying people and crews who don’t want to take meal breaks? Then go and read my friend Victoria’s Jukebox, where you can read all about the summer’s music festivals and other music related stuff. And, should you enjoy what you read, you can vote for her in the Digital Music Awards here. It’s just the thing you need to cheer you up after a week of nightshifts *yawn* (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=833313 Fri, 31 Aug 2007 12:38:54 +0100 833313 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=821262&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F205%2Fmore-allocating%2F It was a block of four day shifts this week, and I was allowed to allocate on every single one of them, so I’ve pretty much got it mastered now. I still have to ask my more experienced colleagues for advice from time to time, but usually it’s just for reassurance I’ve got it right. It helped no end that I’ve been with people who have taken the time out to help me even though they’ve got their own workload, so if you’ve been on the east sectors this week - thank you! On my last post, a couple of you asked questions about how allocating works, so I’m going to give you a quick run down. Of course, I’m new to this and a more experienced allocator would probably be able to explain it better, but here goes! There are three priorities of calls Red... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=821262 Fri, 24 Aug 2007 15:59:23 +0100 821262 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=799160&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F204%2Fallocating%2F Quick recap of roles in Nee Naw Control for those who don’t work here, in “career ladder” order (note: not necessarily order of importance): Call Taker (takes 999 and doctor’s calls. Sits downstairs in “the pit”.) Telephone Dispatcher (takes calls from ambulance crews, deals with queries, takes orders from radio op and allocator) Radio Operator (speaks to crews on radio, deals with queries, takes orders from allocator, assists allocator when busy) Allocator (decides which ambulances go where, makes all the important decisions, generally rules the desk) Management (give out late reports, talk about statistics) Due to reshufflement of our desk and people going on holiday or leaving for bigger and better things, the time has come for me to move on to allo... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=799160 Tue, 14 Aug 2007 13:42:19 +0100 799160 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=795019&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F203%2Flying-in-the-road%2F I just went down the shops to buy some lunch, and saw a man lying in a doorway. I went up to him and saw he was resting on a dirty blanket and snoring. He smelled of alcohol. I prodded him and he stirred. “You ok?” I asked. “Need any help?” “Mmmmph,” said the man grumpily. “I’m sleeping… leave me alone…” I did as I was told. When I came back from the shops, there was an ambulance, a police car and an FRU parked by the doorway. Three paramedics and two policemen were standing around the man. He was telling them that he was sleeping and that they should go away. Why can’t people ASK “patients” if they are okay before they call ambulances for them? Being drunk and homeless and sleeping in a doorway is neit... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=795019 Mon, 13 Aug 2007 13:36:16 +0100 795019 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=782888&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F202%2Fthe-sun-has-got-its-hat-on%2F London finally got some hot, sunny weather this weekend. Where was I? Working weekend nights, of course. I swear there is someone up there planning the weather and he has a copy of my rota. As I walked past the Fire Station pub on Waterloo Road, sweating in my greens on my way to work, it was very hard not to kick over the pints of cool, refreshing beer being sipped by people with normal jobs and not a care in the world. How dare they be enjoying themselves when I have to work?!? I copped a session call taking on Saturday night because we were seriously understaffed. I haven’t done a Saturday downstairs for absolutely ages and I forgot what it was like. Every call was either: “My mate has had too much to drink and is passed out in the middle of the road!” “My mate ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=782888 Mon, 06 Aug 2007 14:06:47 +0100 782888 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=762928&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F201%2Frevenge-of-the-rest-breaks%2F As many of you already know, a few months ago the ambulance service introduced a new rest break scheme which resulted in many arguments between crews and control staff. The crews, who had been happily giving themselves unofficial breaks at hospital between calls for years, were suddenly forced to have 30 minute unpaid breaks at their base station. Should they miss their break, they either got to go home early or got a £10 payment. Well, you can guess what happened — all the crews did their best to avoid getting their break by taking a drive around town until another call came in or similar. Management started putting more pressure on us control staff to make sure crews didn’t miss their break, and things got generally heated as the crews felt control were trying to cheat them ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=762928 Fri, 27 Jul 2007 16:12:21 +0100 762928 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=760368&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F200%2Fa-night-on-the-south-east%2F It’s strange, but every time I have to work on a desk other than my usual, high drama seems to occur. I was moved to the South East in order to train my latest victim trainee, but staffing levels were very low yesterday and the call rate went through the roof (28 calls waiting at one point — I haven’t seen it like that since one very hot Friday in 2005) and training had to be stopped so she could take calls and I could take the radio. I used to work on the South East, but it’s all changed because recently because they closed the Central Desk and decided to combine it with the least busy sector, the South East. Never mind that this makes no sense at all geographically. Now Westminster and Bloomsbury, both parts of Central London north of the river are supposedly Sou... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=760368 Thu, 26 Jul 2007 16:00:39 +0100 760368 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=745459&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F199%2Fa-sad-suspended%2F I knew it was going to be a suspended the second the operator connected the call. Whilst a hysterical caller does not always (or even usually) mean a serious call, these weren’t the usual panicking screams but howls of sheer terror. I wondered if it was going to be something gruesome; it was almost a relief went she told me that the patient was her elderly grandmother, who was “not waking up”. “Hurry up!” she sobbed, again and again, oblivious of the fact that she hadn’t even given me an address to send to. It’s usually one of the most frustrating things on earth to be told to hurry when you are waiting for a response from the caller, but I could hardly feel annoyed in the circumstances. I managed to coax the address out of her (thankfully, just d... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=745459 Fri, 20 Jul 2007 08:58:40 +0100 745459 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=696764&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F198%2Fholiday%2F I’m off on holiday for a week and I don’t intend to have ANY run ins with ambulances while I am away. Except for my reading material — Katherine Howell has very kindly sent me a copy of her paramedic thriller ‘Frantic’, which I’ll be reading on the beach. See you next week! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=696764 Tue, 26 Jun 2007 08:32:02 +0100 696764 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=689922&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F197%2Fa-coincidence%2F 95% of the calls we take on a shift are the same old things: suspected heart attacks, strokes, breathing problems, road traffic accidents, diabetics, epileptics and timewasters with minor ailments. While all except the latter are deserving cases, we could deal with them blindfolded. There’s only usually a handful of calls on each shift that make us sit up and go “Crikey! Look what’s happened there!” On a nightshift, the calls tend to be even more mundane and if you were to walk into the control room about 3am, you’d see a lot of bored faces and people trying to prop their eyes open with matchsticks. It was therefore rather strange that one night this week, we received two identical sounding unusual calls to our sector. Two adult males, living within five mil... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=689922 Fri, 22 Jun 2007 16:19:39 +0100 689922 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=674325&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F196%2Fwhy-i-want-suspendeds%2F My recent entry about seeing my first ’suspended’ - or, to be more accurate, my first dead body - prompted a bit of a discussion (okay, a bit of mudslinging and an argument about grammar) in the comments section. It’s been pointed out that some people, probably including myself, come across as far too eager to experience a ‘juicy’ job such as a resus or serious trauma. To some, it appears that we are almost willing people to die in order to give us the job we want. We are only happy when someone else is suffering. I don’t see it like that, but I do hold my hand up to being a bit overeager. As a fresh faced trainee at Control all those years ago, I still remember how I anticipated my first ’suspended’ call; on my observation shifts with crews... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=674325 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 17:58:47 +0100 674325 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=674326&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F195%2Fanother-major-incident%2F In the wake of the nappy incident, I was feeling rather cynical when the news of the collapsed building in Victoria hit the control room. “Building collapsed, debris everywhere, people ? trapped,” I read over a colleague’s shoulder (it wasn’t my sector). “Yeah, right. Bet a brick has fallen in the road or something. A bit of scaffolding at the most.” After the twentieth call on the matter, I was being forced to eat my words. Fortunately Ambulance Control always treats every call as given, whether we believe it or not, and a plethora of ambulances, managers, HEMS, the HART team and the other emergency services were on scene straight away. Any nearby ambulance not on a job was ordered to go on standby at the nearby hospital. And yes, the building had def... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=674326 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 15:45:35 +0100 674326 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=674327&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F194%2Fnappy-ending%2F One morning this week, our desk had a Chemical Incident to deal with. A dustbin man rang in to say that he and his colleagues had been loading a bin into their truck when an unspecified substance had poured out. It was bubbling and smoking and turning the tarmac green. Their eyes were watering, and they felt sick because of the repugnant smell. Police cars, fire engines and ambuli rushed to the scene. The area was cordoned off. The local hospital closed its A+E minors area so the six patients could be treated without fear of cross-contamination. The Hazardous Area Response Team had a field day. So there I was, several hours later, thinking what an exciting day I’d had at work, and how for once I’d not spent the whole time dealing with crap, when I settled down to read the news... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=674327 Fri, 15 Jun 2007 14:42:36 +0100 674327 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=650528&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F193%2Fpurple-plus%2F Today, I went out for an observation shift with Steve and his crewmate in posh, leafy South London. I’ll write about the other calls we did later; one deserves a post to itself. Every time I’ve been out on the road with Steve, I’ve told him that I want to see a suspended patient (otherwise known as a cardiac arrest, or a dead body, depending on how long they’ve been like that). Every time the MDT (ambulance computer) rang with a new call, I’d jump up and down and go “Is it a suspended? Is it? Is it?” and of course, it wouldn’t be; it would be “old woman fallen over” or “cut toe” or suchlike. Well, this time the MDT rang and Steve turned to me and said: “You know you wanted to see a suspended? Well, we’ve ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=650528 Thu, 31 May 2007 19:48:24 +0100 650528 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=637580&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F192%2Ffaith-restored%2F No sooner than I’d written the last entry sounding off about broken finger woman’s friend, we received a call from their neighbour. “I just wanted to apologise on her behalf. I am so sorry that they were rude to you — in fact, that they called you out for a broken finger in the first place! I gave them such a telling off, and put them in a taxi to the hospital. So you can cancel.” I must remember, for every idiot who makes me cross, there is a decent, sensible person who makes the world a better place. And this meant we did not have to send to Finger Woman, and had an available ambulance for the poor long suffering man with the infected operation wound, who’d been waiting for ages, and the little old lady stuck on the floor with an injured arm. Which ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=637580 Sat, 26 May 2007 20:50:29 +0100 637580 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=637581&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F191%2Fone-of-those-nights%2F You know it’s going to be one of those nights when you’ve only been in work for half an hour, and you’ve spent at least fifty percent of that time trying to explain to someone why a woman who has caught her finger in a child’s pushchair why she isn’t going to get an ambulance any time soon. The conversation went a little like this: Woman: So you’re saying, unless you have a LIFE THREATENING EMERGENCY, you have to wait ages? Me: Er… yes. Woman: But she might have broken her finger! Me: Yes, and that isn’t a life threatening emergency. Woman: You’re telling me that if you broken your finger, you wouldn’t call an ambulance? Me: I certainly would not. I would call a taxi, if anything. Can’t you call a taxi? Woman: I can’t... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=637581 Sat, 26 May 2007 18:54:51 +0100 637581 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=628805&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F190%2Fdispatch-training%2F I don’t know whether I am coming or going any more! I got back from a month’s annual leave (yes, colleagues, if you were wondering why no one can get leave at the moment, it’s because I nabbed it all) in aid of my 30th birthday (I needed time off to get used to the horror of being that old) and found I was back training Trainee Number 2, this time on dispatch. I was given a grand total of thirty seconds to prepare for this! After a month off I found I had forgotten how to do my job myself, let alone teach someone else to do it, so this wasn’t a great start. Anyway, just as everything was starting to come together and Trainee 2 was just about to start flying solo, the poor girl goes and ends up in hospital! Nothing too serious, fortunately, and she will be back soon.... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=628805 Mon, 21 May 2007 16:53:46 +0100 628805 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=611142&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F189%2Fimpromptu-observations%2F It seems that I just can’t keep away from ambulances - even on my day off. It was Saturday night, and my friend A and I were off to a party somewhere in the midsts of the West Sector, in one of those places that I’m not convinced really exists. I should have known it was a bad idea. It was a very decadent party, with a outdoor jacuzzi, a chocolate fountain and, er, a Eurovision sweepstake. About 2am, I suddenly started to feel rather tired and needed a lie down. This may well have had something to do with the four pints of beer, bottle of wine, glass of congealed toffee/chocolate/cherry cocktail and fifty-nine vodka jellies* I had consumed. An hour or so later, I was awakened by M, the host of the party, bellowing “MARK, MARK! A HAS CUT HIS ARM! QUICK! QUICK!” I ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=611142 Mon, 14 May 2007 11:30:53 +0100 611142 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=568982&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F188%2Flondon-marathon%2F I’m off work on annual leave at the moment, so having left those London Ambulances behind, I promptly jumped into a St John Ambulance and headed down to the 14.5 mile mark of the London Marathon to provide first aid to weary runners. It’s the second time I’ve done this; the first, last year, was very different. Then, I was on the 21 mile mark but it was a cool, drizzly day, so we weren’t inundated with casualties and got to watch most of the runners coming past. I spent a substantial amount of time handing out Vaseline, and my favourite moment of the day was around 5pm, long after the street sweepers and pick up coaches had passed and the streets had reopened, when a lone dalek came staggering down the road. This year was very different. It was 23C for a start, and... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=568982 Wed, 25 Apr 2007 17:34:26 +0100 568982 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=542328&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F187%2Ffriday-13th%2F Back on my usual desk, circa 5am. Sector Controller: Oh look, it’s Friday 13th… Me: Load of superstitious nonsense. Nothing going on here at all. Another Sector Controller: EEP! HEMS! Have you seen call 123? Everyone in the room looks at call 123 Sector Controller: (reads) 35 year old male jumped from 7th floor window. Father on scene. Resus not attempted, caller states beyond help. I kept quiet after that. What a horrible call, and what a horrible way to die. And what a horrible thing for the poor guy’s father to witness. What on earth could drive someone to do such a thing? (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=542328 Fri, 13 Apr 2007 17:03:34 +0100 542328 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=540007&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F186%2Fwest-is-not-best%2F I got to work last night to find my name on the manning for the West Desk, as opposed to my usual comfort zone of Desk Which Covers The Area Which I Live. My initial reaction to this was to turn around and run home again. The West Desk scares me; it is full of strange places where I have never been and had never heard of until I started this job. Like Ruislip and Southall. I’m still not entirely convinced these places exist. Maybe one day I will have to take a day trip there and see them for myself. I settled myself down behind the radio, propped open my map book, wrote out a list of the sector’s ambulance stations and phone numbers and prayed for a quiet night. Well, just thinking the word ‘quiet’ had the opposite effect. As soon as I sat down, about five lost amb... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=540007 Thu, 12 Apr 2007 15:25:19 +0100 540007 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=506575&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F185%2Fnhs-direct-question%2F Here’s a question for any NHS Direct bods who might be reading this. The other day I had to arrange a out of hours GP for a patient who had decided not to travel to hospital with the crew. (Why people ring for ambulances and refuse to go to hospital I will never know. People are strange.) NHS Direct were handling the GP out of hours calls. I had the following conversation: NHSD: Okay, I just need to run through a few questions. Is the patient conscious and breathing? Me: *confused noise* Er, yes, he is. NHSD: Sorry, we have to ask everyone that… Me: No, it’s not that — you just threw me because that’s what we ask everyone too! NHSD: Okay then. Is he blue around the lips? Non blanching rash? Chest pain? Overdose? I recognised these last questions as NHS Direc... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=506575 Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:18:18 +0100 506575 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=506576&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F184%2Fone-chow-mein-and-a-cardiac-arrest-please%2F When an ambulance crew take a critically ill patient to hospital on blue lights, we ring the hospital to warn them. This is called (imaginatively) a ‘blue call’. All the blue call numbers are programmed into our phone system so we only have to dial a couple of digits to get them. The hospital in Romford, however, has just moved so we have to dial the full number to put the blue call in. T601 were bringing in a man in cardiac arrest, so I dialled the number. Them: “Hello, can I help you?” Me: “This is London Ambulance with a priority call.” Them: “Yes?” Me: T601 are bringing in a 60 year old male, suspended… Them: Uh… sorry… I think you have wrong number. This is Chinese Takeaway!” I was a laughing stock for the rest... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=506576 Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:10:45 +0100 506576 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=506577&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F183%2Fabusive-callers-again%2F On my last post about abusive callers, Dave asked: Is much of the abuse you receive related to the panic of the patient or the people who care about him/her? Or is it generally just abusive drunkenness? I think this is a good question, good enough to warrant a post of its own in a reply. Here, in my opinion, are the reasons why people are rude/abusive and the types of rudeness that result. 1) Personality of the caller. You can’t really do anything about this one except try not to make the situation worse. Some people are just plain rude. Sometimes it’s a psychiatric problem, sometimes they just aren’t very nice. For some reason, rude people are forever calling 999, possibly because they have an exaggerated sense of entitlement, or because they like taking charge of situa... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=506577 Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:01:11 +0100 506577 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=491757&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F182%2Fabusive-999-calls%2F A piece of really shocking news (not) in today’s Metro — 999 call takers suffer abuse from callers! I don’t know where this study was performed, but it certainly wasn’t the LAS. Apparently these unnamed call takers took an average of 59 calls per shift, which is absolutely nothing in my book (I have taken 250 on a Friday night. I think 150 would be about average, though that is a guess) and only four were abusive. It depends on your definition of abusive, of course, but I would say that at least half of our callers are rude/unco-operative/shouting and I would estimate 5% cross the line into swearing, threats, insults etc. It depends a lot on the time of day - this is one of the many reasons why I prefer dayshifts and loathe weekend nights. I’d like them to d... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=491757 Thu, 22 Mar 2007 09:42:12 +0100 491757 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=491759&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F181%2Ffirst-aid-courses%2F It’s been three years since I joined St John Ambulance, so this week I was dispatched to the wilds of North London on my day off for a refresher first aid course. People imagine that as a Johnny you are treating casualties all the time, but it’s not actually like that. A lot of it is standing around in the rain watching rubbish football teams waiting for something to happen, and when something does happen, all the Johnnies swoop like vultures on the poor patient and fight over who he is going to treat him or her. It can get very silly. Anyway, as a result our first aid gets a bit rusty and we have to requalify every three years to prove we still know what we are doing. The course is called First Aid at Work and as the name suggests, it is intended for people who are the appoint... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=491759 Thu, 22 Mar 2007 09:27:58 +0100 491759 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471726&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F180%2Fobserving-shift%2F So, what feels like several years ago now, I was invited to come out and see how the other half live, doing a day turn on an ambulance not far from my home in East London. The crew who were kind enough to take me aren’t bloggers, so I shall have to invent pseudonyms for them. I shall call them Ant and Dec. I was expecting this to be rather different from my last shift out with Steve, where the most exciting thing that happened was the football on the telly, and I wasn’t wrong. Steve works in a fairly posh suburban area where all (well, most) of the callers are polite and the calls are genuine. There’s no such thing as quiet in the ambulance service, but it’s certainly quieter. The area where Ant and Dec work — I’ll call it Callsville — in contrast,... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471726 Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:21:35 +0100 471726 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471728&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F179%2Fstill-alive%2F Just popping in to let you know I’m still alive. It’s been two very busy four-shift weeks at work, and I’ve been off gallivanting around the country at weekends (yes, that ‘having a life outside the ambulance service’ thing) and just not had time to update my blog. The New Trainee did very well and has been signed off, and I think my training was a lot better this time too. I will be back soon with a detailed post about my day out observing in East London. Hope you’re all well out there in Blogland! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471728 Tue, 13 Mar 2007 20:36:24 +0100 471728 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471730&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F178%2Fobserving-again%2F I’m off observing! If you notice anyone strange hanging around your ambulance station today, it might just be me… (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471730 Fri, 23 Feb 2007 05:08:37 +0100 471730 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471732&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F177%2Fnew-victim%2F One of the superintendents came up to me yesterday and handed me a pair of blue epaulets. “These are for your trainee,” she told me. “But I don’t have a trainee!” I said, confused. “Oh yes you do,” she said. “She starts tomorrow.” So it looks like I have been given another chance to pass my bad call taking habits on to a new generation. Wish me luck! (Source: Nee Naw) Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471732 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 05:19:52 +0100 471732 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471734&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F176%2Fdognap%2F Today, I nearly broke into a patient’s house and stole his dog. Okay, that sounds bad. Maybe I’d better start from the beginning. The call came from the police, and read: “NEIGHBOURS CONCERNED FOR ELDERLY GENTLEMAN. HE HAS NOT BEEN SEEN FOR A FEW DAYS AND HIS DOG IS WHINING AT THE WINDOW.” Calls like this are called “suspected collapse behind locked doors”. Half the time we go to them, we find a dead body on the other side of the locked door, the rest of the time we find a very angry person returning from a shopping trip to find their front door hanging off its hinges as the police search their house fruitlessly. This call, however, was neither. The elderly man had fallen and had been on the floor for an unspecified length of time. His house was in a ... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471734 Sat, 17 Feb 2007 21:02:48 +0100 471734 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471738&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F174%2Fweeding-out-the-snifflers%2F When it gets busy, the dispatch desks spend a lot of time calling back our lower priority calls “apologising” for delays and hoping that the callers will get the message that they shouldn’t be calling us and should be calling a GP/taxi/etc instead. We are not allowed to refuse people an ambulance but we are allowed to warn them of long delays and generally coax them into deciding to cancel and deal with the problem more appropriately. We are on rather shaky ground doing this, but since the Telephone Advice people stopped using TAS and started using a new system called PSIAM we have no option. Gone are the days of the No Send Policy — using PSIAM, Telephone Advice are forced to make us send out ambulances for any person who insists on one. As you can tell, I am not a... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471738 Tue, 13 Feb 2007 10:37:30 +0100 471738 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=471740&cid=t_101014_101_f&fid=34835&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.neenaw.co.uk%2Findex.php%2Fambulances%2F173%2Fbystander-reactions%2F Reader Aira is working on a development progress about bystander reactions and the various ways in which bystanders react in distress or emergency situations. If you have relevant experiences you’d like to share with her, you can email her at: aira [dot] planting [at] northonetv [dot] com. Aira’s request has lead to some discussion about typical bystander reactions. From my experience, the typical bystander reaction is this: 1) Ring 999, even though you can see at least four people doing the same. If you happen to be passing on a bus or car, and have no idea where you are, do this anyway, and under no circumstances get off the bus to help, as this may make you late for an important engagement, such as a church service. 2) Swear repeatedly at call taker for asking you stupid q... Nee Naw blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=471740 Mon, 05 Feb 2007 14:32:09 +0100 471740