MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'ass'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:05:24 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159909&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2F24%2Fyes-virginia%2F In brief because it is about twenty hours past my bedtime, not that I even have a bedtime as such anymore on accounts of being a professional citizen of the twenty four hour clock but regardless I am bloody knackered: Yes, Virginia, you CAN be the migrant child of two divorced people who both left school at fourteen, go to medical school as well as stuffing about in around three other degree programmes in total AND shatter all of the above by having twins as well as being noticably knocked up currently and you still shall become an Obstetrician someday. As long as you don’t go and screw it up. If you are a pain in the ass for long enough, they’ll do anything to stop interviewing you it would seem. G (Source: Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....par... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159909 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 11:57:28 +0100 5159909 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5140193&cid=t_292100_136_f&fid=39023&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fbenjaminrubenstein%2F%7E3%2FHKft-Far7Pw%2Facid-dip.html I worked from home today, and took a brief afternoon break down at my swimming pool. Before I hopped in, the Russian lifeguard (aren't they always from the Eastern Bloc?) called everyone out for ten minutes. I couldn't understand her broken English, but figured the pool needed cleaning or chlorine. Ten minutes later she blew the whistle and I took a dip. Then she walked towards me. "...Pool...out...," she said. That was all I got. Not the best time for a language barrier. I climbed out. "But you blew the whistle," I said. "I know. I sorry...acid." "You're adding acid to the pool? Do I need to shower?" "You might want...don't have to...I would." "OK....will I be safe if I do not shower?" I said. Will my skin fall off? "...Go shower." I showered and waited for her next non-accidenta... I've Still Got Both My Nuts: A True Cancer Blog blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5140193 Fri, 19 Aug 2011 01:31:00 +0100 5140193 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5107960&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2F08%2Faheady%2F 1. Normal OB visit like a normal patient past the gestation at which I got sin binned to my couch last time. Yep. 2. Normal forty minute wait to be seen. Also affirmative, although I could have been seen sooner by one of my immediate colleagues if it wasn’t for the fact that there are only so many people I want my obstetric rap sheet spread between. Nobody expects the nasty surprises from somebody without horns and a tail. 3. Normal morning and evening vomit? Uh-huh, although I am now completely off the max.olon because one or two spews is easier than bothering. 4. Normal for me giant weight gain to date. Um…. 5. Only measuring three weeks ahead at 22. No wonder this feels so damn easy. Now if you shall excuse me, I have two weeks of straight nightshift to suffer through. Bet... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5107960 Mon, 08 Aug 2011 10:34:38 +0100 5107960 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103529&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2F06%2Fbrief-notes-from-the-land-of-the-knackered%2F 1. Normal Karyotype. 2. Interview done for College of Odds and Sods. Unfortunately I think number one above is probably the better item to dwell on for oh-so many reasons than the apty named number two because I theeenk I could have interviewed in a slightly less startled-rabbit manner. Well, I could have with a scotch or two on board and perhaps not directly on the back of huffing my pregnant high-heeled insane way fifteen minutes down a busy road and up a flight of stairs but I DID enjoy looking at my abdomen at the blessed end when the panel asked if I had any questions. I asked, as the least reproductively dangerous candidate on the grounds that I neither want to drive a mini-van or become a GP and I already own more children than the average female doctor even a GP, for their views o... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103529 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 12:07:00 +0100 5103529 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5086582&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F07%2F31%2Fbusiness%2F I think it’s business as usual round these parts, or back to it, at least. Sigh. In other worse, in case I have failed to mention it, I have just spent the last entire whole week on a miraculous thing called annual leave and because I never have enough free time, this means I have been busier than a blue arsed proverbial trying to unkill my garden, untangle all the miscellaneous doll limbs from hair in the twin’s playroom, conquer my laundry pile (Last Load Today and I have even successfully committed laundry apartheid with the result that the whites are actually not a shade of reddy-brown for a change), purchase some visually acceptable maternity clothes that DON’T make me look like the arse-end of a barge and so on. I still look like the arse-end of a barge, in cas... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5086582 Sun, 31 Jul 2011 04:51:37 +0100 5086582 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4324795&cid=t_292100_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fwinterize-your-mind-and-body%2F2011.01.08 This is a guest post from Dr. Jena Wider. ********** Winterize Your Mind And Body During the winter months, certain health issues may arise that women should have on their radar. From mental health issues like stress, depression and seasonal affective disorder (SAD), to physical concerns like skin care, the winter can certainly pack an extra punch. Depression peaks during the holiday season, affecting more than 17 million Americans, according to the National Mental Health Association. On average, women are more vulnerable to stress-related illnesses like depression and anxiety than men. One study, conducted by Pacific Health Laboratories, revealed that 44 percent of American women report feeling sad through the holidays compared to 34 percent of American men. “Depression of any kind ... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4324795 Sat, 08 Jan 2011 17:00:17 +0100 4324795 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4179544&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F11%2F18%2Faction%2F ArgahamanIhatemyjobIamsobloodyTIREDallthetimewoeisME. Etc. You get the idea. I apologise, deeply, for the lack of updates Chez MII regarding the snail’s pace dowregging from hell (a.k.a. The Blog With The Bursting Sharps Bin Just Begging For A Toddler To Investigate And NO Don’t Freak, I Do Keep It On The Top Shelf And Not Even Saag At Her Finest Mountain-Goat Peak Could Reach The Bloody Thing). Actually, I don’t have much at all to say about THAT matter other than: Last Pill Today, Hasta La Vista and Kiss My Migraine Headache On The Way Out And Don’t Let The Hot Flushing Door Hit You In The Ass Oestreogen (It’s Been Nice Knowing You). I could finish this post there and bid you all a good night on the grounds that I do tend to drivel on (okay, and ON) when ... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4179544 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 09:54:07 +0100 4179544 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4155415&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F11%2F11%2Fby-inches%2F Sometimes it’s kind of hard to know how to break the silence. After all, the drama of the whole ‘will I ever have a happy ending?’ is about two years and counting gone. By all standards of infertility blogs, I did get my happy ever after. I do have two rudely healthy children. I’m even kind of attached the the little buggers although I do wish Naan would cease widdling on my carpets with such unnerving accuracy and that Saag would not ringlead BOTH of the silly creatures into what has become a Traditional Evening (fortunately temperate climate) Pre-Bath Nudey Streak right down the side of the house  to show the entire street what twin girls are REALLY made of. Hint, it sure as hell isn’t sugar and spice. Also, I probably shouldn’t have tau... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4155415 Thu, 11 Nov 2010 09:56:49 +0100 4155415 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3913295&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F08%2F29%2Fdisclaimer%2F Ah, um, well. Heh. This is awkward. I’m so sorry to disappoint you all, but we appear to have had a minor misunderstanding. You’ll laugh, promise. I was returning comments to rain on individual well-wishing parades one-by-one but then I decided it might be wiser (and considerably easier) to clarify things in one big, fat NOT PREGNANT post. Also, I felt really mean returning such nice thoughts with ‘NOT PREGNANT!’. Sorry, I’m not pregnant. Not as far as I can reasonably tell right now. I’m sorry for the miscommunication regarding my uterus but the congratulations are probably several embryo transfers premature. You see, in the process of cracking a small frustrated funny about how pissing on stick shaped objects is kind of pointless when one is deliberat... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3913295 Sun, 29 Aug 2010 04:04:15 +0100 3913295 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3823179&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F08%2F04%2Fand-so-it-goes%2F Denizens of the Internet, just in case you wondered (although I guess you’ve all probably figured out that owning two screaming two year olds means that stabbing oneself with teeny-tiny doses of FSH is rather less of a dramatic affair the 4th transfer around) I’m stimming. Apparently. I mean, I’ve been jabbing for DAYS now and sometimes I’m still surprised that I get the right end into my flabby gut, what with all the leg pulling and yelling for ‘Mama, NOW!’. As I recall, the LAST time I did this, there was a little less flab to choose from and a lot less distraction. Needle Time was a serious time Chez MII. It’s somewhere between the fifth verse of the Hokey Pokey song and bedtime these days and usually also right after I’ve burned my han... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3823179 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 10:10:12 +0100 3823179 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3487277&cid=t_292100_131_f&fid=34989&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.b5media.com%2F%7Er%2Fb5media%2FGeneticsHealth%2F%7E3%2Fy55lPkzaUZ4%2F Tina Fey at the Date Night premiere Three years ago, the president of Warner Brothers allegedly declared, “We are no longer doing movies with women in the lead.” This came after a string of female-starring flops like Jodie Foster’s The Brave One and Nicole Kidman’s The Invasion. Warner Brothers denied the allegations, but the distinct lack of female-driven movies from all studios speaks to a hesitance on the part of executives to gamble on women at the box office. And women over 25? Forget it. Sure, maybe Miley Cyrus can carry a flick, but who’s going to watch Date Night, which stars Tina Fey – an almost 40-year-old married lady with a kid? Apparently, a lot of people. In its second weekend, Date Night (with Steve Carell as Fey’s leading man), held down the number thr... Genetics and Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3487277 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 18:08:02 +0100 3487277 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3487092&cid=t_292100_97_f&fid=35606&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theangriestpharmacist.com%2F2010%2F04%2F20%2Fim-not-good-with-advice%2F The virus invading my site is expanding. It’s begun to screw up the theme…as I’m sure you can tell. The site will be going down periodically Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday as I work to fix it. I’ve got all comments and posts archived. So, hopefully, I can restore everything the same sans pornospamvirus. There might be a theme change in order as well — something a little more easily modifiable. Don’t worry if you see outages… I'm not good with advice... Alcohol inspires genius. BEER-endipity. (Source: The Angriest Pharmacist) The Angriest Pharmacist blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3487092 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 05:45:46 +0100 3487092 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3273117&cid=t_292100_180_f&fid=38612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fpickthebrain%2FLYVv%2F%7E3%2FUDw91MLkrew%2F Image courtesy of Roy Lichtenstein Life is wonderful! Life is a miracle! Life is awesome! Life is in fact all of these things. Unfortunately, reality being what it is, life can, from time to time, suck beyond the telling of it. Every so often life comes along and metaphorically kicks you in the gut. During these times it is perfectly normal to want to cry. There is nothing wrong with wallowing in brief bouts of self-pity. That key is that those bouts be “brief.” Excessive self pity accomplishes nothing. When you are ready to move on, here are five things you can do to laugh when the world wants you to cry: (Note: I’m not talking about real tragedy, like when a loved one passes away. I’m talking about the occasions when we throw a pity party for ourselves because we... PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3273117 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 08:48:49 +0100 3273117 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3302321&cid=t_292100_88_f&fid=35612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftheknifeman.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F02%2Frode-into-nazereth.html I have had to admit, or at least refer for admission, a number of patients recently in a genuine display of Cover Your Ass medicine. I hate practicing CYA medicine, and yet it seems to form an increasing part of my practice. Evidence Based Ass Covering.Increasing seniority brings with it a diminishing ability to be wrong. Mistakes are allowed, almost expected of junior staff, and as long as they aren't disastrous... well, you know what I mean.However, the ever increasing pressure of the 4 Hour target (All Hail) gives me less and less time to think about what's wrong with, and what's best for my patients.And so, I end up referring those folks who just aren't right. I am losing faith in my clinical acumen, because I know I can't always be right, and I can't afford to be wrong.Of late I have ... The KnifeMan blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3302321 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 22:18:00 +0100 3302321 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3149348&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F01%2F07%2Fokay-ill-bite%2F ….but I’m not going as far as ‘borrowing’ somebody else’s code for the button. Delurk, will you? I can say please if it helps. Also, why not REALLY screw with the concept and delurk anonymously (if I have not myself already screwed with that possibility in the appropriate settings window, it has been some time since I dusted off the ’settings’ page and had a look-see)? Heck, while you’re at it, tell me something really silly you’ve done. It’ll make me feel all better about getting the name of the year completely wrong, IN MARCH. Oh, and that time I walked out of a plane loo with wet toilet paper all over my foot. And that time a gust of wind flashed my rather second-best knickers and burned the retinas of anybody unlucky enough t... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3149348 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 05:34:03 +0100 3149348 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3101090&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F12%2F18%2Frepost%2F Or, possibly riposte? Yes, I know it’s lazy of me to ‘borrow’ and recycle the post I wrote for the cross-pollination effort a while back. Yes, you may tell me I cannot have ice-cream for dessert today, and I shall not argue or whine too much about it. Mostly because I am officially the fattest a chicken-legged stick insect can get right now and in the only slightly-unfortunately-cushingoid place I really gain weight, to boot, my abdomen. I am a striae ravaged olive on a damn stick. Okay, two sticks. To abuse some more food analogies since I have started in that theme, nothing says ’sexy’ like having a beer gut right underneath your saggy fried eggs.  I think I’m hungry. Anyway. I am most pissed about it (although you will note NOT pissed enough to r... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3101090 Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:36:56 +0100 3101090 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2959039&cid=t_292100_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2009%2F11%2F03%2Fcancer-patient-boot-camp%2F Cartoon by Robert & Donna Trussell © 2009 Posted in Cancer Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer humor, cancer patient, cancer survivor, chemo humor, kick cancer's ass, lance armstrong, medical cartoon, medical humor, robert trussell (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2959039 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:07:32 +0100 2959039 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2824169&cid=t_292100_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F09%2F22%2Fhouse-in-a-psychiatric-hospital%2F If you’re a fan of the show, House MD, you probably enjoyed last night’s 2-part season opener with Dr. Gregory House finding himself in a psychiatric hospital. If you haven’t yet seen the episode and intend on watching it, you may want to skip reading any further, as I’m going to discuss plot components that might give away some of it for you. Contrary to the ridiculous depiction of staff and how a psychiatric hospital is run on the Fox show, Mental, this two-part episode of House actually did a fairly even-handed job of showing what life in a psychiatric hospital can be like. While the use of the solitary room was a little over-the-top (and likely a part of the plot and power-play between House and the administrator), everything else was far more realistic than a r... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2824169 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:16:48 +0100 2824169 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2804263&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F09%2F17%2Fwell-i-never-2%2F If I did bore all and sundry to tears yesterday with what I now concede is an extremely long winded and rather uninspiring account of how I posted a letter without stamping it first (see I did it in ONE sentence, I can be to the point, sometimes), then I guess today’s brief missive may fail similarly to hit the mark. Not one hour ago I received a rather amusingly confused phone call while in my personal trolley-pushing nirvana, the supermarket (’Ooooh! Three for the price of TWO!’). It was a phone call from a bemused individual in slightly baffled possession of what appear to be on the surface of things two identical time sheets. She took great delight in asking if I had intended to send two time sheets for the last fortnight, or whether I did it just to check they wer... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2804263 Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:08:58 +0100 2804263 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2800721&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F09%2F16%2Fmore-like-a-colander%2F I would like to think I have a mind like a steel trap. Sharp, fast and never EVER prone to letting small details slip. The kind of mind that can recall the dose of warfarin that every single patient on it on my ward (a percentage that varies with the particular Unit of Malady I am working for at that point in time, ranging from ‘what’s warfarin?’ to ‘everybody and their dog’), remember their last three INR’s and adjust the therapeutic rat poison dosage appropriately. Before being paged fifty times about it. Not that doing so in any way stops the inevitable pages by several somebodies guilty of not actually reading the drug chart lately, but you know. It’s still much nicer to be able to be righteously irritated at having your valuable! damnit! t... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2800721 Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:29:18 +0100 2800721 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2766335&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F09%2F04%2Fthings-that-annoy-me%2F I hereby dedicate this post to the following things that annoy me the very most in the world. Well, at least as of today, at 7 pm, plus something minutes and something-else-divisible-by-60 seconds. Just so that tomorrow when I am at work and something annoys me more, I can rank it appropriately with regards to my feelings on having run unexpectedly out of chocolate because LS has eaten what I though was the last bar in my cleverly concealed secret stash. Also, it is raining and too bloody cold to go out for more. Pity me. I am a (insert discrete whisper that menstrual events may be happening) woman without chocolate. Thank goodness for wine. 1. People who treat nauseous and nauseated as synonyms and thus in one fell swoop tell the world that they make other people feel sick. Actually, th... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2766335 Fri, 04 Sep 2009 09:39:52 +0100 2766335 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2730394&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F08%2F25%2Fbad-blogger-mathematics%2F …Alternately entitled We Weren’t Quite Done with The Gastro and THIS Time LS Copped It. Alternately Alternately entitled I Find Above Events Perversely Amusing Because I Am Clearly A Sadist. (Source: Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?)) Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2730394 Tue, 25 Aug 2009 00:29:49 +0100 2730394 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2712397&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F08%2F19%2Fa-small-note-to-self%2F Dear Geohde, Hi, me, how are you doing? Long time, no internal dialogue typed out for the world to derive amusement at your tiny mind and all of that. I apologise deeply and come prepared to make it up to you, really I do, me. Don’t look so stunned, you. Yes, you, I’m talking to you, err, make that ME. So, since it’s just the inside of your head and the entirety of the Internet, me, let’s ask some really searching questions. I promise that I am deeply interested in your answers. I’d never commit the crime of boring myself to tears, would I? Besides, I like to take an interest in myself now and again. I hear it’s healthy to be a bit all about ME upon occasion. It’s good for the self-esteem to mentally re-centre the entire Universe on one’s cra... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2712397 Wed, 19 Aug 2009 00:48:56 +0100 2712397 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2695666&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F08%2F13%2Feureka-2%2F Dear world, It’s me, Geohde. Do please humour me and ignore my happy charade of discovery. I know a woman of my, um, age and appearance should not attempt a failed gazelle-like leap out of a half-filled bath, especially when complete with retina-scorching cellulite in all the Bad Pasty Places, breasts you could store your car keys underneath and an abDON’Tmen that could feature heavily as a deterrent in an Anti Teen Shagging campaign. Say ‘abdominoplasty’, boys and girls. Anyway. It’s just that I need to say a gratuitous ‘Eureka’, and somebody once told me that it was really Greek for ‘I need a towel’, and not a way of discovering that procrastination truly pays off in the end, after all. Eventually. Or is that serendipity? Regardless.... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2695666 Thu, 13 Aug 2009 01:13:48 +0100 2695666 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2513495&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2F20%2Fi-must-be-premenstrual%2F Dear Internet, Firstly, I do hope that you are enjoying your weekend. As the title may imply, I am not enoying mine in the least, and in fact am bringing large amounts of The Cranky (B!tch edition) wherever I go. So perhaps those of you who have enjoyed my personal Fantasy Morning of a good a lie-in, followed by toast and eggs and a leisurely newspaper read in which (for once) mysteriously there are no headlines screaming ‘DEATH’, ‘CRASH’, ‘ECONOMIC CRISIS’, ‘DISASTER IN THE WAR ON…. (pick your item of choice, this poor overworked phrase is quite painfully abused nowadays. I’d like to declare a war on The War On, if I may? Or did I just commit the sin of grammatically irritating the heck out of myself?) …’, or, if your fancy... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2513495 Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:14:42 +0100 2513495 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2463313&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F06%2F08%2Fwhy-yes-i-did%2F Dear Internet, Due to Severe Ongoing Computer Infirmary on the grounds that it is Bloody Old and Can’t Be Expected to Possibly Keep Up with anything much beyond being a mildly decorative paperweight (and I really should do the kind thing and put it out of it’s misery already, preferably with a hammer), oh and lest I forget my life, I’ve not really been able to whine to the world wide web at large (or indifferent) for some days now. Fortunately, the gods of working motherboard have smiled upon me after an hour spent unhappily swearing ‘WORK damnit, work, the eight hour day is standard in the first world you slack sod’ at my PC and restarting innumerable times, I have the Internet. HI, Internet, I’ve missed you. I have but a brief tale on this occasion, pu... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2463313 Mon, 08 Jun 2009 07:11:18 +0100 2463313 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2415887&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F05%2F19%2Fcarpark-shmarpark%2F Otherwise entitled ‘You probably shouldn’t talk to the ticket vending machine with such animation outside the psych wing of ANY hospital’. I hate machines. I especially hate machines where I should by right be getting a human being to steam at. DD is entirely right, I hate the ones that ring up to suck me into buying the latest and greatest energy deal or obligatory crap raffle tickets and worse than that don’t even bother to disguise the fact that they are a recorded message properly. Telemarketing Geniuses out there, I hate to break the bad news this way, but most of the world is not fooled by a token two second pause for an answer to the empty ‘….and how are you today?’. Personally, however, I sadly always fall for that damn pause and have duly... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2415887 Tue, 19 May 2009 00:41:36 +0100 2415887 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2390495&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F05%2F05%2Fagony-aunt-edition-16%2F Getting drunk for the first time and puking in a handy wastepaper bin at a heady room-spinning sixteen, it’s time for Agony Aunt to trot out The Cranky at the things people type into Goog.le. Because they end up HERE, and I object whole, fat, lotso. Oh, and before I begin gleefully assulting your retinas with my latest misdirected gems, may I just briefly (with appropriately flaming cheeks of contrition, because apparently my ass DOES look paranoid in a URL cloaker) apologise to the very kind blogger who fessed up even after all that misdirected cross stuff? Deeply sorry I am, because it turns out that there are entirely legitimate reasons for a URL like hide.refer to pop up in my stats package from time to time. Like peacefully reading my blog. I honestly thought I was calling out o... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2390495 Tue, 05 May 2009 00:26:30 +0100 2390495 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2353831&cid=t_292100_97_f&fid=35606&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theangriestpharmacist.com%2F2009%2F04%2F21%2Fsave-us-all%2F I’m all for accountability and consequences of negligence….but…federal-pound-me-in-the-ass prison? http://www.pjonline.com/news/former_locum_handed_suspended_jail_term_for_dispensing_error Sound off…I will respond as able. Dealing with new house and medical problems. (Source: The Angriest Pharmacist) The Angriest Pharmacist blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2353831 Wed, 22 Apr 2009 03:49:44 +0100 2353831 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2342085&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F04%2F17%2Fbeige%2F I think I may be in serious danger of becoming completely, stuporously, coma-inducing boring. No, don’t bother politely laughing at your monitor in a charade of disbelief. I mean it. Dishwater dull, to my orange-tinted roots, I am. I posted an ode to Mom Jeans, ferchrissakes. Not precisely my most thrilling material, even I must admit, and you all duly punished me most deservingly by not bothering to click through and comment. I am clearly beige and very apologetic about it. I’ve been sitting here wondering how to improve upon my situation which in itself is odd because, well, writer’s block has never really been an issue for me. Just look at my back archives for evidence that if it has run through my stream of consciousness, it probably has been written down at some poi... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2342085 Fri, 17 Apr 2009 10:16:04 +0100 2342085 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2342086&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F04%2F15%2Fan-ode-to-mom-jeans%2F Dear Mom Jeans, Oh, how I love thee- let me count the ways: One: Your pockets are generous, permitting at any time my hands-free transportation of Emergency Dummy, teething rusk (only partly chewed and therefore deemed Still Good), car keys, mobile phone, tissues and (as a bonus item) loose change for coffee purchases. I’ll accept generating more lint than a giant’s bellybutton as a small price to pay for the convenience of saving my poor purse’s positively heaving seams and zips any more strain than they have already encountered under the Onslaught Of Crap Miscellanea. Two: You waist is both generously high and secure, kindly sparing the surrounding population from the double visual assault of Gut and Ass.  No-one, unless possessing of x-ray vision, shall be subjected... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2342086 Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:10:53 +0100 2342086 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2342087&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F04%2F13%2Fyou-dont-say-2%2F Dear Nice Lady At Telco, It was lovely to speak to you several weeks ago whilst trawling my local supermarket vainly in the hope of pre-made salads that didn’t require I first call my bank for an increase in my credit card limit, really it was. It is none of your business and not in any way your fault that Long Suffering doth insist on a salad that requires no arranging in a bowl every day and thusly I spend the best part of forty dollars a week on lettuce (of all bloody things, made mostly of water as it is) so I decided not to bring it up and affirm that yes, now actually was a good time to discuss making arrangements to pay your bill. I must admit with a small amount of guilt that I was waiting to see just when the proverbial penny would drop at Big Telco Co that, in fact, my ... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2342087 Mon, 13 Apr 2009 09:45:34 +0100 2342087 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2303260&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F04%2F03%2Forange-you-glad-to-see-me%2F Dear Internet, oh-most-wise Computer residents, Why did I not ask you before attempting to colour my hair? Why did I not seek guidance that any attempts conducted on impulse by an inexperienced operator (to put it politely rather than calling myself an utter idiot), armed solely with the deadly combination of Dutch Courage and three glasses of wine and limited to the entirely ignorance-based inappropriate use of a de-colourant, for streaky bit insertion thereof, was going to go horridly pear. Internet, dear, sweet, Internet, I actually had no issue with my hair the way it was. I liked my hair, really I did. I just thought some streaky bits sounded all, you know, fun and a bit daring and trendy. Like the young folk do, Internet. But I couldn’t be bothered with all that cap applying an... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2303260 Thu, 02 Apr 2009 23:05:19 +0100 2303260 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2303266&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F03%2F28%2Fpinnacle-of-entertainment%2F Don’t ask me why, but for some reason the pinnacle of entertainment around these parts has recently shifted. For some time it’s happily been at: ‘Hey, I have arms, I can use them to bash myself in the face repeatedly as often as I like! How totally cool!‘, undoubtedly followed by the observation in Baby that: ‘Ouch. Why does my face hurt?’, but mysteriously enough (until the Indian Takeaways frontal lobes kick in in about 20 to 30 years, give or take, and they learn about judgement and insight and how valuable they are in deciding NOT to get drunk and wrap one’s car around a power pole or go out with That Cool Boy all night and do Naughty Things in unsafe ways. I’m giving myself bone-chilling shivers of fear in anticipation of adolescence wi... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2303266 Fri, 27 Mar 2009 21:32:32 +0100 2303266 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2283401&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F03%2F18%2Fbecause-it-never-gets-old%2F This post could be quite easily alternatively entitled ‘Because we are clearly very juvenile Chez MII’. In other words, if you still can’t get the shape of what’s about to hit your monitor, it’s poo humour. Feel free to abstain from reading if you actually happen to be eating. Especially, say, if it’s brownies or chocolate and the like. Oh, and probably Rocky Road, too. Given the impressive intake of slightly misnamed Solids (more correctly known as anything that can be emulsified in three goes or less via a blender, or Runnies for short), these days it is also all about the texture round here. One lump, or ten? Ahem. I shall continue in my revolting streak since I seem to have made quite the flying start. LS, Saag, Naan and myself created a minor Aur... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2283401 Tue, 17 Mar 2009 23:16:52 +0100 2283401 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2262769&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F03%2F14%2Five-been-a-very-busy-gril%2F Oh yes, I darn well have. I’ve been such a busy girl that I’m much too busy to do something obvious like proof read my title. Since the permalink is now screwed as indelible evidence of my stuff-up and I don’t know how to fix it, I’ll leave the title for confirmation positive of my reliance on spellchecker and the fact that it has a critical flaw in that it dosen’t extend to titles. Along with the bleeping thing taking enormous pleasure in checking my powers of observation by gluing two unrelated words together all the way through the text if one is cheeky enough to be italicised AND seeing just how many words with -ing on the end it can decide are spelling mistakes consisting solely of the word ‘ing’ and drive me batty by swamping my post in a fo... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2262769 Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:13:45 +0100 2262769 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2262775&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F03%2F10%2Fdiscretion%2F Is the better part of valour, oh yes it is. To put it another way, I (for once) exercised a rarely-used part of my ever-tactless brain and bit down hard on what had the potential to be an utter clanger of a reply. Although it would have been fun. I’ll recap, because I’m in danger of waffling. I am describing yet another Supermarket Encounter with the gaping-mouthed Curious General Public. People, as usual, are agog at the sight of one rather frazzled looking woman hurriedly pushing twins. Twins who are, you will be pleased to note, fully occupied alternately grabbing their sister and yelling to be put down where they can examine the deficits in cleanliness of the supermarket floor with their gobs (in minute detail). They’re just itching to follow this star turn with ... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2262775 Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:04:33 +0100 2262775 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2202573&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F02%2F20%2Fno-i-mean-cots%2F Dear People At Nokia, Thank you for the technology that powers my mobile phone. Really. Yes, it is true that it may not be the flashest model on the market and if I am being completely honest about it’s faults, it does have a sad habit of freezing up and going cacky-drawers if I attempt to take too many photos with it at once. But. I figure that’s par for the course for any electronic device regularly monstered by twins. Actually, I’m kind of impressed it still works at all, so hats off to you, Nokia, for having dribble-resistant technology. Even though you have had the fortuitous foresight to claim everywhere all over the long-expired warranty that water damage is NOT covered, just in case, that actually hasn’t been a problem. My issue with you is related not to t... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2202573 Fri, 20 Feb 2009 02:31:01 +0100 2202573 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2192401&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F02%2F17%2Fclothing-schmothing%2F Okay, so before I commence b!tching at length about any dilemmas sartorial, I shall  as gracefully as possible acknowledge that, yes, I should probably submit to a retributional eye gouging with blunt spoon in advance. After all I am a woman whose figure tends to naturally vacillate between ‘thicker legs on a seagull’ (a favourite comment from a teacher when I was five that I proudly related to my parents when I got home later that day, only to be laughed at for the next thirty minutes solid) and ‘where did Geohde go? Oh, behind that flagpole over there.’ In other words, I am pathetically scrawny. Apparently these days being unable to tell if somebody is looking at you from  either behind, the front, or possibly the side without casting their vision high enou... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2192401 Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:44:58 +0100 2192401 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2188755&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F02%2F15%2Fthings-i-should-remember-not-to-do-in-public%2F Also better known as another entry from the files of I Am Terminally Tactless. Really, you ask? Why, yes I am, now that I mention it. I hope that doesn’t represent too much of a shock to anyone. My sin? Admitting a personal long-standing bug-bear about performing Pap Smears to a group of women who were complaining how much they hated being on the receiving end of this particular sterling bit of preventative medicine. My opening line? ‘That’s nothing. At least you get to lie down.’ I continued to relate, in vivid detail, exactly what happens when you get the Mining Light and Divine Intervention required scenario of too-small speculum and too-err-um, too-GOSH-golly (there’s just no possible way to be delicate about this), too bloody well local major harbor of yo... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2188755 Sun, 15 Feb 2009 10:34:39 +0100 2188755 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2157968&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F02%2F04%2Fwhats-got%2F …..four arms, four red-rimmed eyes, four legs (fits of flailing pique for the use of), two yell-holes at full volume (shriekathon mode engaged), is red all over, sweaty and won’t go to sleep? Twins with vaccination fevers. Sigh. Fun times aplenty. Incidentally, can anybody please tell me why the feck they dye children’s paracetamol red? It looks like Jack The Ripper has done a number on one chair, several bunny rugs, assorted bibs, baby shirts, my clothes and one piece of carpet Chez MII. Apologies for the silence in the last day or so, but I’ve been busy. As I don’t particularly cherish the idea of my children ever experimenting with tetanus, diphtheria, whooping cough, meningitis and the like, I have this nasty habit (from their beleaguered point of view) of... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2157968 Tue, 03 Feb 2009 23:09:43 +0100 2157968 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2148376&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F30%2Fmy-last-will-and-testament%2F Well, kind of. Inspiration for this particular missive comes courtesy of a far-flung relative who (I think) intended well, even if they were surprisingly forthright and passionate about their cause. Imagine my surprise when I opened what I though was a lovely letter thanking us for our attempts at hospitality in a recent visit and instead found enclosed a long missive about how I really Should Think About The Future with a rather more long term view than most thirty-somethings are accustomed to having. Complete with a blank will form, premarked with my name, address and ’sign here’s’ in lead pencil. Nice thing, the personal touch. Ooh-err. I didn’t know I looked that bad. Thanks to Uncle GrimReaper, I now have one more piece of paperwork just begging me not to stack... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2148376 Sat, 31 Jan 2009 04:23:48 +0100 2148376 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2145333&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F30%2Fmy-last-will-and-testamant%2F Well, kind of. Inspiration for this particular missive comes courtesy of a far-flung relative who (I think) intended well, even if they were surprisingly forthright and passionate about their cause. Imagine my surprise when I opened what I though was a lovely letter thanking us for our attempts at hospitality in a recent visit and instead found enclosed a long missive about how I really Should Think About The Future with a rather more long term view than most thirty-somethings are accustomed to having. Complete with a blank will form, premarked with my name, address and ’sign here’s’ in lead pencil. Nice thing, the personal touch. Ooh-err. I didn’t know I looked that bad. Thanks to Uncle GrimReaper, I now have one more piece of paperwork just begging me not to stack... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2145333 Fri, 30 Jan 2009 09:05:03 +0100 2145333 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2135499&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F27%2Fmoving-right-along%2F Firstly, can I say how much I’d like to live in the Internet? The nicest people live there, really they do. The next time I’m feeling like a self pitying ass, however, I shall eat chocolate (copious amounts thereof) for my validation rather than abusing your eyeballs all with my Vintage Whine and sucking up all the nice comments like a bag-less hoover. I’d quite like a bag-less hoover. My vacuum makes the saddest noises when I ruin both our days by asking it to bloody well vac. Anyway. That period I was moaning about remains thus far MIA, which before anybody goes and sprains anything is not precisely a big achievement on my part. I’m rather good at getting my menses all backasswards, after all. Last spin around the crampy-carousel was a mere seven days post ovul... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2135499 Mon, 26 Jan 2009 21:43:48 +0100 2135499 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2117338&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F20%2Fanxiety%2F Not mine. Long Suffering’s. I never would have predicted this outcome, but LS (as it turns out) is a man who can and WILL constipate himself with anxiety over Child Safety. Me? I’m the woman sitting back letting her babies crawl over broken glass and eat razorblades for morning tea. Well, not quite that far perhaps, but that’s how LS sees it. Truly. I think perhaps we shall end up with the first children to go to school carefully wrapped in cotton wool from head to bloody toes and with the local hospital’s emergency department on standby just in case. Sport? Ha! I think we’ll have an ambulance outside the doors when they sharpen their first pencil. To recap slightly more clearly in Infertility Speak, LS is the equivalent of the patient who cries down the pho... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2117338 Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:56:18 +0100 2117338 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2105518&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F15%2Fthey-have-a-cure-for-the-stupid-now-right%2F This report has been passed onto the builder to attend to any outstanding items. Should you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me. [Questions? Nah! What's a small matter like the wrong f.ing property between friends?] Regards, Developer. IMPORTANT NOTICE ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY AND LEGAL PRIVILEGE This email message (including attachments) is strictly confidential and is intended only for the use on the named addressee. It may contain legally privileged material. If you are not the addressee then you are hereby notified that this message has been received by you in error, and any legal privilege or confidentiality attached to it is not waived, lost or destroyed by reason of its mistaken delivery. Therefore you must not save, copy, print or distribute it or take any a... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2105518 Thu, 15 Jan 2009 03:59:16 +0100 2105518 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2098683&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F13%2Fclarification%2F Yawn. Stretch. A luxuriant nearly 7am sleep-in, only ended by construction workers next door deciding that Sparrow’s Fart is, in fact, a GOOD time to start hammering things. Ah. That’s better. After I stumbled away from my computer the other day, you will probably be unsurprised to note that I carefully put Saag and Naan down in the playgym (a.k.a the Toy That Is Fun To Pull All The Flashy Bits Off Of, purpose thereof to create painful missiles for unwary parental insteps at 3am) and promptly fell asleep on my back on the floor next to them. Long Suffering tells me he didn’t realise I wasn’t awake and listened to the sound of Saag and Naan At Work from the front room where he was Busy doing presumably Critically Important things with the Internet. He found me nearly... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2098683 Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:48:46 +0100 2098683 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2090790&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F09%2Fsaag-here%2F Yo, Saag here. My hat is on backwards you know. I’m all cool like that. Yes, I am. Anyway. Hiya Mama’s friends inside of her flashy-box that I think she calls a com-poo-ter. It doesn’t look like it has much to do with the contents of my nappy to ME, but I’m not a grown-up yet, so these sort of silly adult things remain a mystery. I do have Serious Plans to ask ‘why’ rather a lot in a few years. Especially about sex in the supermarket. But at the moment, I have another more pressing issue. I just had a quick question for you, since you’re all grown-ups and Mama simply persists in smiling at me and saying ‘coo’ a lot. I think she thinks I’m daft. My question is this: hands up the silly bugger who decided that teeth should come up th... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2090790 Fri, 09 Jan 2009 08:52:58 +0100 2090790 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2077024&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F01%2F01%2Fon-a-lighter-note%2F Even I, a unusually talented whiner (if I do rather immodestly say so myself), can only bitch about housing and family-by-marriage for only so long before the urge to say something rude or inappropriate overrides my Bitch Switch and, hey presto, a post is born. About pubes. Clearly. Because that’s what we all like to read about after a mouthful of fresh bile, right? Now, where was I? I distracted even myself with a clanger like that. Ah, yes, got it. Pubes. Snigger. Sorry, I’ll stop juvenilely saying a slightly rude word that just begs to roll off the tongue and get caught between the teeth. Oh, I AM sorry. Without further ado, I shall tell my rather bland tale. I do fear you’ll all be horridly let down after such a salacious beginning. I believe I have gently alluded to... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2077024 Thu, 01 Jan 2009 06:38:56 +0100 2077024 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2054719&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F12%2F20%2Fbrief-missives-from-the-land-of-bah-humbug%2F Otherwise entitled One Should Absolutely Not Go Grocery Shopping Anywhere Between December and, say, March. Especially if you want to find a carparking space within an hour’s route march of the bloody shopping centre anyway. With twins. AND public nimrods stopping you every twenty metres with the usual daft questions. Sigh. I shan’t say any more on the matter other than to remark that my fridge is now rather well stocked with the makings of a truly gluttonous celebration. So is my drinks cabinet. Fortunately. Sometimes I need a drink or fifty, especially at this time of year. Especially when it was on par with a particularly vicious rugby scrum to beat down the competition for that last bloody pudding with fruity bits in. Humbug, I tell you. Humbug! Anyway, in other matters far... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2054719 Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:04:26 +0100 2054719 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2048815&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F12%2F18%2Fsaag-and-naan-go-to-the-slammer%2F ….and hopefully it’s the last time they ever do. I hope. Please don’t tell me the horror stories of what teenagers get up to which may end up in this wish being comprehensively ruined. I may just have to put both fingers in my earholes and sing ‘Lalala’ until you give up and go away if you do. So there. Now, with a title as salacious as this one, I better get on with explaining just what it is two four months olds can do to attract the attention of The Law. After all I don’t think there’s any statutes to breach with respect to the following items: Provocatively naughty, and in the interests of full disclosure, slightly irritating massive dumps taken right after a particularly messy nappy change. Even if they do seem to smile with what I like to th... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2048815 Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:40:25 +0100 2048815 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2029514&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F12%2F10%2Funcharitable%2F Perhaps it’s the impending season of bah-humbug-gimmicky-gift-giving-for-the-sake-of-obligation, otherwise known in more polite circles as Christmas at work. You know, the season that all Entities Commercial merrily exploit in order to ruthlessly wring  every penny they can out of our poor moth-eaten wallets, armed with the aid of Flashy Ads On The Television. The ads that we all succumb to when thinking desperately ‘What the f. do I get for Aunt Flora, since I haven’t seen her in about twenty bazillion years anyway? Hang on…..I know ten kinds of shite she’ll never use, a knife set, bath salts, a shoulder massager, an epilator, AND a foot spa! Brilliant!’. Socially awkward crisis averted, etc. etc. I’m probably a little more cantankerous than us... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2029514 Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:21:47 +0100 2029514 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2019237&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F12%2F07%2Fyes-i-did%2F It’s probably kind of obvious that I like to write. I suspect it’s very obvious that the material I enjoy writing the most has a certain element of square-peg-in-a-round-hole, travelling-up-on the-down-escalator kind of bloody minded sideways quirk to the world at large. Yes, I fully confess I am a slightly awkward soul, but despite this handicap I have no trouble whatsoever getting my point across. Although I AM quite sure I cause vaguely horrified bemusement in others who are rather more conventionally polite all the time. Just revisit my charming letter to my desired ISP. Yes, I really sent that. Yes, I did get several shocked sounding phone calls from people escalatingly senior in their company (as it made it’s inexorable way up the food chain) over that one.  It wa... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2019237 Sun, 07 Dec 2008 11:07:17 +0100 2019237 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1997511&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F29%2Femerging%2F Emerging from the fog of sleep deprivation, or at least consuming enough Liquid Awareness With Bonus Palpitations (i.e. coffee) to pretend that I’m not so very painfully stonkered, what else is a lady with a messy house, empty fridge and babies that need a thorough flea-dip by virtue of recent enthusiastic double-ended explosions do but blog about something else entirely? I’m kidding. Lest I be summarily judged and child protective services called to rescue my spawn from a filthy house where they are lovingly layered in several kinds of their own excreta, I will quickly make a disclaimer. The little buggers are not only wiped clean enough for now, but are additionally in what is bordering on a religious experience for confirmed-athiest me, napping. I’ll bath them when ... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1997511 Sat, 29 Nov 2008 00:57:52 +0100 1997511 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1992276&cid=t_292100_122_f&fid=36582&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.feedburner.com%2F%7Er%2FSharpBrains%2F%7E3%2F465573115%2F Here you have the November edition of our monthly newsletter covering cognitive health and brain fitness topics. Please remember that you can subscribe to receive this Newsletter by email, simply by submitting your email at the top of this page. Thank you for your interest, attention and participation in our SharpBrains community. As always, we appreciate your comments and suggestions. Summit of the Global Agenda How can we persuade business leaders, policy-makers and researchers of the urgency to develop and promote an integrated "Healthy Living" agenda focused on maintaining lifelong physical and cognitive health, vs. the usual mindset focused on dealing with specific diseases and problems once they arise? In The Future of the Aging Society: Burden or Human Capital?, I summariz... SharpBrains blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1992276 Tue, 25 Nov 2008 23:41:47 +0100 1992276 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1985784&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F25%2Fschmothers-group%2F Or on how I must be a social retard and just don’t quite get the concept of instant friendship based solely upon having produced spawn via natural or artifically created orifices at around the same point in time. Or in my case, not the same point in time. You see, I carefully neglected two previous invitations to join my local Mothers’ group on the basis that: A) The first time my twins were still in hospital and I could hardly relate to the tales of sleepless nights, poo issues and colic, instead being fully conversant with the world of jaundice, gavage feeds, septic workups and planning my day around visits to see the fruits of my IVF. Besides, I didn’t think it was all that traditional to turn up at a group designed to house rugrats en masse without any actual babies.... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1985784 Tue, 25 Nov 2008 09:58:39 +0100 1985784 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1977377&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F21%2Fa-veritable-picture-of-it%2F Health. The new code word for giant, public, red-faced full on turd-action by those who are too young to know it’s rude, of course, and not me.  Really, it is. Just ask my (clearly polite to a fault even in the face of rather severe provocation) mother-in-law. I don’t think her mental deportment manual actually contains advice for how one returns a public poo, other than to try and pretend really hard that it didn’t just happen. However, there are some things, or sounds to be rather more precise, that one cannot ignore. Let me relate my tale. (and, yes, I was quietly cheering Naan on in her endeavours. Is that evil on some level?) As already canvassed my paternal relative is rather a cultured woman. Educated, refined, polite, tactful to a fault, and certainly incapable u... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1977377 Fri, 21 Nov 2008 11:16:46 +0100 1977377 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1970822&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F19%2Fagony-aunt-edition-12%2F ….and so it begins again. I reach a critical mass of irritation at the daft things Goog.le proclaims me to be a specialist on and take it out on the hapless searcher. Fun times all round. As always, click on the button for previous editions of my snark advice to the frequently illiterate. Or click on the Bad Google tab at the top to see a more comprehensive list of what can only be described as Dumb Stuff. Without further ado, may I present the magnificent fodder for edition twelve (otherwise known as that angst ridden, won’t leave her bedroom devestatingly pimply) of agony-aunt?: Pregnancy with a negative beta. Effect of dysentry on ivf conception One year old postpartum libido. Can Clomid make my foot like pins and needles?  Not a suppository. Pregnant supermodel. Snort.... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1970822 Wed, 19 Nov 2008 12:02:58 +0100 1970822 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1964960&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F16%2Fopinions-are%2F Otherwise entitled ‘So, you’re having twins?’. For anybody on the internet who happens to actually get a relevant google hit to this site. Firstly, hello! You make a nice distraction from all the po.rn hits about arses, really you do. Don’t go away, please? Let me begin again. Welcome to the club.  I had my (non-identical) IVF twin girls at the end of July, I have no mother or mother in law to help, so I’m outnumbered by infants almost all the time. My husband is often away or working funny hours. It’s Not That Bad. I’ll probably do it again in a year or two. I’ve yet to carve LS’s eyeballs out with a blunt spoon in frustration at ever ejaculating into a cup (although I have fantasised about it) , OR go doolally with sleep deprivatio... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1964960 Mon, 17 Nov 2008 11:47:46 +0100 1964960 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1944346&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F08%2Fi-said-not-to-mention-it%2F My bad. Basil Fawlty was bloody right. I should Not Have Mentioned The Sleep, even in passing (and without goose-stepping in rather poor taste, no less). Those of you who have been up to date with recent events shall presumably rapidly surmise that things went comprehensively pear last night. To put it another way, Naan unilaterally decided that Sleep Was For Utter Losers (Like perhaps a thanks-be sound stone cold asleep through defcon-sodding-ten wailing Saag), and she would therefore comprehensively Not Be Having With It. Especially if it was, say, dark outside because it was bloody nighttime. Oh, my. To think the poor neighbour recently crept up oh-so-apologetically to me at the mailbox to apologise if her baby was keeping me awake at night. Ha. Please hold me while I wipe my eyes after... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1944346 Sat, 08 Nov 2008 10:09:17 +0100 1944346 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1931407&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F04%2Fpoo-to-you%2F Can you tell I’m very tired? I get especially puerile when I’m several days past my bedtime….. The Revolting Natives have run absolutely bloody riot in the last few days and I’ve been comprehensively held captive by a tiny army, armed solely with large amounts of Yell, Vomit, Wee, Poo and Scream. Sometimes all at once. Fun times. Fun times aplenty Chez MII May I make some excreta related observations? Excreta happens. A lot. When either Saag or Naan look me deeply, nay lovingly in the eyes these days they also usually take the golden opportunity to fart like an uncouth truck driver who’s eaten a dodgy curry. I must admit, it’s hard to know how to reciprocate that kind of ‘pfft!’ (’scuze me) deep and meaningful devotion. I never know w... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1931407 Tue, 04 Nov 2008 11:08:36 +0100 1931407 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1912482&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F28%2Fthink-hell-be-cross%2F So, I know it’s one of those slightly disgusting-ly kept woman-ish traits, but I have a confession to make. When LS* and I got married, financially-risk-averse-would-keep-her-money-in-a-mattress-if-she-could became one with share-market-credit-card-multiple-loans. It’s always been a tricky balance to keep the peace between a woman who obsessively keeps receipts and ticks off every single item on her bank statement and a man who never opens envelopes with windows on general principles that the contents are usually disagreeable and bound to ruin an otherwise sunny day. The upshot of all this financial incompatibility is that whilst I begrudgingly accepted a secondary credit card in my husband’s name, I never got one myself. Yes, I am a functioning adult in all other respe... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1912482 Tue, 28 Oct 2008 11:18:39 +0100 1912482 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1909324&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F25%2Fbelly-go-up%2F ….and belly go DOWN. No points given for picking the point at which I spontaneously exploded twins. A.k.a (you guessed it) a tired, weekend post. Probably horribly misspelled to boot. Lazy Blogging 101 strikes again, i.e. when low on verbage of meaning simply add pictures and hey presto! A post is born. Except I can’t figure out how to embed the darn thing, and have wasted an hour that could have been better spent creating actual content with meaning swearing fluently about it. Could you all just play along and click on the link? Ta, ever so. Much obliged. Looking at the pictures, I am freaked out anew with just how stupidly massive the whole growing-two-babies-at-once made me. The photographic proof stops somewhere at about 34 weeks, after that point I no longer wanted to &#8... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1909324 Sat, 25 Oct 2008 10:59:07 +0100 1909324 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1909325&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F23%2Fagony-aunt-edition-11%2F Oh, my. Soon my little Agony Aunt shall be a TEENAGER. Where does the time go? If this is your first exposure to my one-coffee-short-of-a-sense-of-patience (self appointed, no less) more-prickle-than-a-porcupine-convention Agony Aunt to the unfortunate victims of Google, please click on the logo above (it’s also in my sidebar, naturally) to be taken to an explanation and a backlist of previous editions of snark, fun poking err helpful advice. Once again (with feeling, I promise), darling Google and I do the Dance Of Misdirected Search Terms. Let me begin with a list of my latest favourites. Squirrels get sick, too. Wholly shit, I’m pregnant. If my boobs were my brains? Physiology of a cockle. Extreme nudity testic.les clear plastic. Can getting a gunshot would in the butt ma... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1909325 Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:31:22 +0100 1909325 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1909327&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F21%2Finterior-decorating-geohde-style%2F Those of you who have had the misfortune to endure months of sleep deprivation, for whatever reason, know just how miserable it is. How it mushes up the cognition irrevocably, such that minor items one would normally have bang to rights with minimal consulting of errant memory banks (such as the correct date, or day of the week, or the sum of two-plus-two) all give serious pause or have you consulting your fingers. Just hoping for the answer to miraculously appear. It’s actually pretty miserable to be so tired all the time. Yes, it makes me go all short-tempered and whiny. Can you tell? Although things are gradually improving as the Terrible Twosome learn that night time is perhaps notthe ideal time to party unless they want to do it in their cot and in the dark on their lonesome, I... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1909327 Tue, 21 Oct 2008 01:50:40 +0100 1909327 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1888525&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fi-love-you-i-love-you-i-love-you.html I spoke with my husband on the phone tonight, and he kept telling me again and again that he loved me. He said it too much.I am suspicious of my husband for saying "I love you," too much.I am crazy.Good night. (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1888525 Sun, 19 Oct 2008 02:53:00 +0100 1888525 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1909330&cid=t_292100_177_f&fid=38137&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmissionimpossibleinfertile.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F16%2Fthe-odd-spot%2F By the end of this post I expect either recognition of wry cleverness of dual-useage of said title, or (more probably) a resigned sigh that I am again abusing the English language unfairly. Let me relate my tale, I do believe that I have once-or-twice subtly alluded to the fact that, despite all enthusiastic medical predictions that ‘being pregnant is a GREAT temporary cure for PCOS’ and ‘I could get (gasp!) knocked up on my own’ and, say, without the aid of a speculum and some embryos my RE prepared earlier, I am proving in true recalcitrant fashion to be the biological exception to the rule. In other words, I have not only completely omitted to pop ovum in the last eleven-going-on-twelve (non-breastfeeding, mind you, so that’s not the explanation) weeks, bu... Mission: Impossible (or adventures in infertility, pregnancy....parenting?) blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1909330 Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:23:25 +0100 1909330 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1837327&cid=t_292100_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F09%2F29%2Ffor-sale%2F Heh There’s some funny stuff in that shitpile. Wonder if UM will offer up some of those big ole panties?        (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1837327 Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:31:42 +0100 1837327 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1764020&cid=t_292100_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F09%2F04%2Fscuffle-hoe%2F Is what we call burying a post…(long story involving AC, me, alcohol and trying to find a rhyme for a long forgotten word) UM asked me to bury naked cowboy. I’m burying him with this. bite me.  Perhaps later I’ll edit the “Fusion Post” and put it up. First…. Equal time *********************************************** Megyn! (this is comedy gold) btw….put the copies of [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1764020 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 22:30:11 +0100 1764020 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1305664&cid=t_292100_87_f&fid=34595&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnhsblogdoc.blogspot.com%2F2008%2F03%2Fletter-to-ass-doctor.html Ass DoctorNever let it be said that I censor or remove comments, however critical. It is interesting that the comment below should arrive minutes moments after I published the article "in praise of nurse specialists"Dear Dr. AssPeople like you are the reason why I left medicine. For 4 years I endured asses like you while doing my medical training. 2 more years of internship with arrogant asses like you. I eneterd family practice and was surrounded by arrogant asses like you. I left.I am not longer surrounded by arrogant, chauvinistic wastes of space: much like you. I am very happy! I receive all of my medical care from a Nurse Practitioner. She has her PhD in biochemistry. She teaches asses like you advanced trauma care. I have taken several courses from her: ACLS, NALS, PALS.You couldn't ... NHS Blog Doctor blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1305664 Sat, 15 Mar 2008 21:08:00 +0100 1305664 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=906306&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fhi-crazy-im-crazy-nice-to-meet-you.html Junky battles from the celebrity world. (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=906306 Wed, 26 Sep 2007 15:06:00 +0100 906306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=874748&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fpop-ups.html Are folks getting pop up ads from me? If so, I'm sorry...I'll try to fix them. Pop up ads suck ass! (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=874748 Sat, 15 Sep 2007 23:03:00 +0100 874748 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=867473&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fbrief-voyage-into-land-of-idiocy.html So last night, we agreed that we'd meet in a parking lot after my meeting, and we'd drive together to his parents' house. He'd borrowed their car, and we needed to return it. The place where my meeting is held is halfway to his folks' place, so it made sense to travel together.He has my phone, as I've had his turned off since he can't pay the bill. (Yay, big codependent victory. Boo, big codependent sucker-ass move in letting him use my phone while I'm at work.) I get out of the meeting, and he isn't there. I wait. I pace. He's not there.Some folks come out, and I borrow a phone. I call, and it rings and rings and rings. I know that paranoid Mr. Junky won't answer a number he doesn't know. I call again. I call his parents and ask, "Is he there?"Of course he isn't there. I ask them to try t... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=867473 Wed, 12 Sep 2007 17:32:00 +0100 867473 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=841980&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Flove-fest.html I've been on an ad-clicking and StumbleUpon love fest over the last few days. If you've noticed a little bump in your stats or in your ad revenue, that's a little kiss from me. I'm in love with everyone lately. (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=841980 Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:14:00 +0100 841980 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=839144&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fi-can-tell-things-are-better.html I can tell things are better because reading the post about my husband acting like a drug addict makes me feel guilty.Isn't that funny? (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=839144 Tue, 04 Sep 2007 03:09:00 +0100 839144 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=830195&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Ffucking-dumbass-shit.html I've been given instructions to write a gratitude list...and I'm just about to get to that...but first, I need to bitch about something.The fucking thing that I hate most right now in my life is being scared--scared for myself, for my man, and for my stuff.The fucking thing that I hate second most in my life right now is the tediousness of it all. I hate all these ghetto scenarios this dumbass man I love keeps getting me stuck in. I hate having to think about "pawn shops" and "dealers" and "guns" and all that kind of wannabe thug dumbshit. I fucking hate the stories that I am always telling people. I hate the entire rhetoric of addict-life...the pawn and steal and gun and lie and twenty dollars and blah blah blah. I have better things to do with my head. I have better language to use than ... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=830195 Wed, 29 Aug 2007 20:52:00 +0100 830195 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=828550&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fmy-sponsor-is-magic.html I'm not just saying it because she might read this. She really is magic. And while I'm sure she's endowed with the magical hoohah that makes all codependents magic, she is also magic in that her voice can soothe a raging junky's wife.She just kind of laughs, and says, "I'm sure he's not in jail. I'll come get you if he is. You're supposed to be doing whatever you'd be doing anyway."BUT WHAT I'D BE DOING IS SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH MY HEAD IN HIS LAP!(sob, sob)"Well, I used to clean the house when I was worrying about things. Is there something you can do to keep you mind occupied until he gets back?"She has magical voice super powers. I hope that through working the steps, one day I will also acquire this power. So far, however, my kung fu is not very strong in this area.He wasn't gone fo... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=828550 Tue, 28 Aug 2007 17:43:00 +0100 828550 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=822114&cid=t_292100_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fhow-ya-been.html (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=822114 Sat, 25 Aug 2007 03:39:00 +0100 822114 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=624478&cid=t_292100_88_f&fid=35612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftheknifeman.blogspot.com%2F2007%2F05%2Fin-praise-of-nurses.html This post could be almost anything; I might, at a later date muse about the Doctor-Nurse dynamic, specifically as applied to Shroom.I could simply write how great nurses are... that would surely be too simple, and runs the risk of being condescending.However, and this is in no way related to a realisation brought on by a comment made to me by a valued colleague while we studied an archaic looking piece of equipment at South Coast General, I would like to say how much I've enjoyed working in my last post, specifically because of the Nursing Staff there and my relationship with them. They have stood by me, even when I didn't have a clue, and when the toys were firmly ejected from the pram, and they drank beer with me, then picked me up afterwards.Mind you they never let me forget it.Anyway, ... The KnifeMan blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=624478 Fri, 04 May 2007 21:15:00 +0100 624478