MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'cancer humor'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:29:17 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4172296&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F11%2F16%2Fbend-it-like-glenn-beck%2F New cartoon by Trussell & Trussell on Politics Daily. Bend It Like Glenn Beck. Also known as freeper association. Filed under: Politics Daily Tagged: cancer humor, fox news, glenn beck, political cartoon, republican, robert donna trussell, tea party (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4172296 Tue, 16 Nov 2010 16:35:12 +0100 4172296 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4053454&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F10%2F10%2Ffloridas-marco-rubio-privatize-social-security-who-me%2F New cartoon by Trussell & Trussell on Politics Daily. Florida’s Marco Rubio: Privatize Social Security? Who, me? Filed under: Politics Daily Tagged: 2010 election, cancer humor, florida, marco rubio, political cartoon, robert donna trussell, senate (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4053454 Sun, 10 Oct 2010 17:57:25 +0100 4053454 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4013459&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=39025&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Feverythingchangesbook%2F%7E3%2FpW3KMMp3GaU%2Fcancer-humor I first posted this piece last summer, but knew I had to revive it when I got a great request from ChronicBabe for posts on the theme of chronic illness and humor: Last week, I was interviewed in a Newsweek article about young adult cancer humor. I’m, not a very funny person. I’m just not. Don’t worry, I’m not being harsh on myself. I think I’m smart, compassionate, and fairly attractive. But, I’m just not very funny. I love to laugh, but my humor is particular, maybe even stubborn. I can’t rent dvds from the comedy section; I just don’t find them funny. Nor do I find cancer jokes very funny. So, it was really hard when Newsweek asked me to contribute some jokes to the blog that accompanied the article. Here’s what I sent: *What do you call a young adult cancer patient wi... Everything Changes blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4013459 Tue, 28 Sep 2010 13:52:45 +0100 4013459 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3983529&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F09%2F19%2Fthree-party-lunch%2F New cartoon by Trussell & Trussell on Politics Daily. Three-Party Lunch. I only had a couple, Ossifer. Filed under: Politics Daily Tagged: cancer humor, comics, democrat, political cartoon, republican, robert donna trussell, third party (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3983529 Mon, 20 Sep 2010 04:18:31 +0100 3983529 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3929430&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F09%2F02%2Fanother-depression-the-fed-and-ben-bernanke-to-the-rescue%2F New cartoon by Trussell & Trussell on Politics Daily. Another Depression? The Fed and Ben Bernanke to the Rescue! Filed under: Politics Daily Tagged: ben bernanke, cancer humor, comics, economy, political cartoon, recession, robert donna trussell, unemployment (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3929430 Thu, 02 Sep 2010 16:00:20 +0100 3929430 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3603830&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F05%2F26%2Fthe-joy-of-cancer%2F Cartoon by Robert & Donna Trussell © 2010 Filed under: Cancer, LOL Cancer Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer humor, cancer support group, medical humor (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3603830 Thu, 27 May 2010 03:48:13 +0100 3603830 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3534061&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F05%2F04%2Fcancer-treatment-voila%2F Cartoon by Robert & Donna Trussell © 2010 The cartoonists wish to thank Politics Daily, where this cartoon originally appeared. Filed under: Cancer, LOL Cancer Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer humor, medical cartoon, medical humor, robert donna trussell (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3534061 Tue, 04 May 2010 16:42:36 +0100 3534061 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3425092&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2010%2F03%2F31%2Fcancer-then-treatment-then-voila%2F New cartoon by Trussell & Trussell on AOL’s Politics Daily. Cancer, Then Treatment, Then Voila! Filed under: Cancer, Politics Daily Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer humor, caregiver, chaos theory, medical humor, political cartoon (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3425092 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:01:22 +0100 3425092 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189349&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fthe-couch.html  I've realized recently that my living room couch has become a character in my story, so it's time to add the couch to my Cast of Characters.I've been blogging from the couch for at least two years, thanks to the WiFi Older Son set up when he moved back in. I have a basket full of cancer blog-related files and information stashed under the coffee table, and this spot has become my home office. The couch was just a piece of furniture, however, until the past few weeks. That's because of the pain. It is easier for me to get up and down from the couch when I'm in pain than it is from my bed. So I slept on the couch for a couple of weeks. More recently, because I'm still in pain, the couch is the spot I retreat to at the end of my day... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189349 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 02:58:04 +0100 3189349 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3082577&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fchristmas-lights.html  One of my readers sent me an e-mail that said:Hi Everyone--I already have my Christmas lights up. If you need any help with yours, please give me a call. And then it had this photo attached. Somehow, this one really tickled my funny bone, and I had to post it. Maybe because my Christmas lights are still stashed away in boxes in the basement ... @ Jeanne Sather 2009.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3082577 Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:57:22 +0100 3082577 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2959039&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2009%2F11%2F03%2Fcancer-patient-boot-camp%2F Cartoon by Robert & Donna Trussell © 2009 Posted in Cancer Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer humor, cancer patient, cancer survivor, chemo humor, kick cancer's ass, lance armstrong, medical cartoon, medical humor, robert trussell (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2959039 Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:07:32 +0100 2959039 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2260412&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2009%2F03%2F13%2Fdr-spin-of-orwell-medical-center%2F Cartoon by Robert Trussell © 2009 Posted in Cancer, Humor Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer survivor (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2260412 Fri, 13 Mar 2009 18:25:43 +0100 2260412 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2206095&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2009%2F02%2F22%2Fstylish-bold-and-its-on-sale%2F Cartoon by Donna & Robert Trussell © 2009 Posted in Cancer, Humor Tagged: cancer cartoon, cancer survivor, shiny happy cancer (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2206095 Sun, 22 Feb 2009 19:57:45 +0100 2206095 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2032974&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F12%2Fhealth-warning.html  A friend sent me an e-mail with the heading "Health warning," and I almost didn't open the e-mail, because I get a lot of these, everyday. Typically, they are trying to sell me something. (See Quacks)But this one is pretty funny.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2032974 Thu, 11 Dec 2008 18:48:58 +0100 2032974 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1944381&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2008%2F11%2F08%2Ffighting-cancer-still-fabulous%2F Shopping for an inexpensive gift for the afflicted loved one in your life? Consider these. Many colors and styles available. Most designs come in note cards. pins and coffee mugs as well as shirts. [Ed. note: I have no connection to the companies/organizations involved and receive no compensation for clicks or purchases.] More cancer/fabulous here. More newsboy/cancer here. More nurses/cancer here. More new/cancer-free here. More oncologist/homeboy here. More work/cancer here. More foxtrot/cancer here. Posted in Cancer, Humor   Tagged: cancer patient, cancer survivor, gift, holiday, shopping    (Source: Donna Trussell) Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1944381 Sat, 08 Nov 2008 18:36:31 +0100 1944381 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1924391&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fhow-low-will-komen-go-the-winners.html Choosing the winners in our second annual competition to find the tackiest, most trivial, most offensive pink-ribbon products wasn't easy. As readers of this blog know only too well, during October we are overwhelmed by displays of tacky pink crap whenever we venture into most retail establishments. (Some notable exceptions here in Seattle: Whole Foods, Metropolitan Market, and PCC--thank you, all. At the top of the thumb's down list: Bed, Bath & Beyond, which had at least 30 pink-ribbon products.)As always, The Assertive Cancer Patient suggests that you fight back by voting with your wallet. Don't shop at stores filled with pink-ribbon merchandise, and do patronize stores that refuse to be pink-washed. This year's contest was international, with entries fro... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1924391 Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:38:04 +0100 1924391 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1875919&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fintroducing-breast-cancer-joe.html In 2006, in October, of course, Mattel introduced Breast Cancer Barbie.  I bought one to add to my Wall of Shame, and she's been there ever since, raising awareness in a different way from what Mattel intended. See: Breast Cancer Barbie Sometimes readers write to me, confused, asking if I made Breast Cancer Barbie, because they can't believe that Mattel did. But no, I found her on the shelves at Toys R Us. In 2007, in October, of course, I created Prostate Cancer Ken, as a companion for my Breast Cancer Barbie.I thought at the time that if I did a gender-reversal people might better be able to see how stupid this Barbie doll is, and how offensive it is to a woman like me. See: Prostate Cancer Ken At about the same time, I started to hear rumors of a doll ca... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1875919 Tue, 14 Oct 2008 23:33:44 +0100 1875919 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1862628&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Ftransforming-gi-joe-into-bc-joe-halfway-there.html Here's Joe, now Breast Cancer Joe, with his pink helmet, pink boots, pink teddy bear, and pink T-shirt. For more on pink teddy bears and cancer, see: Throwing (and Throwing Away) Pink Teddy Bears @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1862628 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 09:14:00 +0100 1862628 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1862629&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Ftransforming-gi-joe-into-bc-joe-the-process.html Car Guy is incredibly handy, and he suggested spray painting GI Joe's torso pink, since the T-shirt on the doll is molded on, and it's khaki in color.  We wanted that sickly Komen-for-the-cure pink ... so off to the hobby shop to buy a spray paint that works on plastic. While we were there we cruised up and down the aisles, admiring all the remote-control vehicles, especially the helicopters, a passion of Car Guy's. That's Car Guy's hand holding the spray paint. Note how carefully he masked Joe, with electrical tape and rubber gloves. @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1862629 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 09:00:00 +0100 1862629 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1862630&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Ftransforming-gi-joe-into-bc-joe-the-materials.html Here are some of the materials I bought to transform GI Joe into Breast Cancer Joe. One of my readers suggested that Joe should wear pink camo rather than khaki, and I found a baby blanket to cut up to make clothes for him--camo fatigue pants and a backless hospital gown. I also bought several shades of pink nail polish, and used those to paint his helmet and boots pink.  @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1862630 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:30:00 +0100 1862630 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1862632&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Ftransforming-gi-joe-into-bc-joe-the-gear.html The process of transforming a GI Joe doll into Breast Cancer Joe was made easier by all the gear that comes with the doll. As you can see from the photo, the doll I bought, "Desert Trooper," comes with camo pants, a helmet, a gun, boots, sunglasses, and more. For a look at the naked doll, go to:BC Joe Does Yoga @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1862632 Thu, 09 Oct 2008 07:54:00 +0100 1862632 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1862636&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fhow-low-will-komen-go-amorettes-entry.html Amorette's entry is actually multiple entries, because she sent me the link to a site that is also collecting BAD pink products. The most disturbing ones are the pink handguns, but I'm not sure if these products are donating money to Komen--which lets Komen off the hook for these--or if they are just trying to capitalize on pink marketing. Any women out there buying pink handguns? Please send me an e-mail and explain why you want a pink gun--especially the pink camo version. Is that cute? Does it kill people less dead if it's pink? I don't get it. Here's the link (thanks, Amorette):The Worst Pink Products Ever @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1862636 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:32:43 +0100 1862636 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1857432&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2008%2F10%2F06%2Fit-sucks-to-be-me%2F I know only too well the interior monologue of the cancer patient, but I wonder how accurately I can depict the mind of the friend or caregiver. I’ll start with the patient’s semi-coherent, conscious or subconscious cry of pain: Noooooooooooooo! Get me out of here! Save me! Don’t let the bad man come in my room! I don’t want to die! I’ll do anything! Give cancer to someone else, anyone but me! I’d rather die than go through this! Easy for you to stay positive — you don’t have cancer! I’m sick of you all! Go away!!!! Hey, where’d you go??!! Help me! I don’t have the strength for this! God, pick on someone else, why doncha? I’m falling apart! Oh so you have a microwave on the blink — try a broken microwave and c... Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1857432 Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:41:42 +0100 1857432 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1852474&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fbc-joe-does-yoga.html The GI Joe doll I bought the other day to remake as Breast Cancer Joe is pretty amazing: The entire doll is jointed. His head not only turns all the way around, but it tilts forward and back. His elbows are jointed, as are his wrists and even his fingers. The first finger moves independently of the other four, to allow him to hold weapons. Hips, knees, and feet all have great joints that swivel as well as bend (I should be so flexible!), which allowed me to put Joe into an approximation of the yoga "tree pose." His legs are right--standing on one leg with the other leg wrapped around it and the foot hooked behind the calf. But Joe can't get his elbows close enough together to do the arms. His chest is too broad and his arms too muscle-bound. I never ha... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1852474 Sat, 04 Oct 2008 22:18:35 +0100 1852474 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1844560&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Flaughing-at-myself-vegan-mascara.html I buy what little makeup I wear at PCC, the Puget Consumers Coop, which used to be a real coop you paid to join until Whole Paycheck (oops, I mean Whole Foods--I keep doing that today) moved into the neighborhood and started grabbing PCC's customers. Now, PCC lets just anyone shop there. But they still give a free piece of fruit to any child who asks. Anyway, in keeping with my vegetarian, organic, no-animal testing, live lightly on the Earth philosophy, I won't buy cosmetics that were tested on animals--blind a bunch of rabbits just to develop a mascara that won't blind me? No thanks. So yesterday, after making a very difficult phone call, I rewarded myself by going out for some play time with Constant the Wonder Dog and I stopped in at PCC for organic ice cream and ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1844560 Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:44:44 +0100 1844560 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1825389&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F09%2Fbreast-cancer-joe-your-ideas-please.html Last October, I promised that in October 2008 I would create a "Breast Cancer Joe" to join the Breast Cancer Barbie family, which includes Breast Cancer Barbie, Prostate Cancer Ken, and Benign Girl. You probably know that one in 100 people diagnosed with breast cancer in this country is a man. You can imagine how these men--the few and the brave--feel each October when their disease is celebrated with a sea of pink shlock. You may not know that men with breast cancer, as a group, are diagnosed LATER in the course of their disease than women as a group, giving them a poorer prognosis. One reason is that they don't think they can get breast cancer, so they ignore any lumps in that tissue. Another reason is that many doctors don't think of breast cancer when a male... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1825389 Tue, 23 Sep 2008 19:05:13 +0100 1825389 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1811689&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=37852&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdonnatrussell.com%2F2008%2F09%2F21%2Fcancer-is-so-limited-i-beg-to-differ%2F If you’ve ever googled cancer poems, you’ve come across this: What Cancer Can Not Do by Anonymous Cancer is so limited… It cannot cripple love It cannot shatter hope It cannot corrode faith It cannot destroy peace It cannot kill friendship(s) It cannot suppress memories It cannot silence courage It cannot invade the soul It cannot steal eternal life It cannot conquer the spirit.   Ya gotta love the attention to detail on “friendship(s).” A copyeditor must have shown up somewhere on the Internet daisy-chain. Cancer is so limited? What bullshit! Miss Anonymous, I want to have cancer on your planet. On my planet, cancer acts like a serial killer who’s got plenty of ammo and is just getting started. It cannot cripple love. Tell that to the woman whose boyfr... Donna Trussell blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1811689 Sun, 21 Sep 2008 05:29:29 +0100 1811689 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1770409&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F09%2Ffor-the-weekend-some-cancer-humor.html Here's a round-up of some cancer humor to help you get through the weekend.  A warning: Cancer humor tends to be very black, and it may not be to your taste. Cancer patients share a certain kind of humor with each other that we don't usually share with the temporarily able bodied (that's healthy people) and we don't usually share with friends and family, although my Younger Son sends me cancer humor. He sent me this first one, from The Onion.Having a Friend With Cancer Is Good for Your Health? The Chemo Diet Booby Prizes @ Jeanne Sather 2008.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1770409 Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:19:06 +0100 1770409 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1525907&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F06%2Fairline-travel.html Younger Son's favorite editorial cartoonist has a very funny cartoon about airline travel these days. Reminds me of my most recent trip on US Airways ... See: plane travel Me, I just want to travel by Amtrak from now on--but not in the cheap seats: All too often, people while away the trip talking on their cell phones, despite requests from train staff that they go out in the corridors to talk. Here's the link to Horsey's blog: Drawing Power (Great name. The writer in me loves this name.) @ Jeanne Sather 2008. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1525907 Wed, 18 Jun 2008 18:51:45 +0100 1525907 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1432306&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F05%2Fnow-its-rocky-f.html Thank you to everyone who wrote expressing concern about poor GB, who swallowed two large rocks last weekend and had emergency surgery on Monday to remove the larger one. (He threw up the 2-inch rock on my bedroom floor Sunday night.) GB developed pneumonia from aspirating fluid into his lungs, and his esophagus is also damaged by the rocks and the attempts to get rid of them, so he is still at the vet. His doctor has treated him with cortisone and also antibiotics. At first, we thought he would be home in a day or two, so when the vet said, "You can visit him," I said no, because I thought GB would think I was there to take him home and it would be tougher for him to have to stay. But after three days of phone reports, I couldn't stand it, so I stopped by to see him yesterday. The... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1432306 Fri, 09 May 2008 17:19:32 +0100 1432306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1428903&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F05%2Fhaving-a-friend.html Younger Son sent me the link to this story on The Onion, hoping to cheer me up. He wrote: Hello-- I'm not sure black humor would be the best, but here's something that might lighten the mood. Actually, he knows me pretty well. I think it's really funny, but--a warning: you may not. The piece says, tongue in cheek, that 85 percent of people who know someone with cancer take up marathon running and other sports ... "The U.S. Surgeon General is now recommending that all Americans get close to a cancer patient," the voice-over says. Watch it: The Onion: A Friend's Cancer, Good for Your Health? That's a video piece. I also loved the print story The Onion did about the Race for the Cure. 6,000 Runners Fail To Discover Cure For Breast Cancer @ Jeanne Sather 2008. (Source: The Assertive... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1428903 Thu, 08 May 2008 17:17:13 +0100 1428903 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1133763&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fthe-chemo-diet.html I just came home from the grocery store, where it seemed that the cover of every magazine I saw featured a weight-loss story: Movie star diets. Who's fat and who's thin. How to lose 20 lbs. by Valentine's Day. You know the drill... It's pretty clear that magazine editors think that we are all obsessed with losing weight in the new year. They are probably right, of course, given that something like half the adult U.S. population is overweight or obese (including me, overweight but not obese). Since I've lost a good 10 lbs. since I started on the Tykerb in late November, I can't help but propose: The Miracle Chemo Diet Lose 10 lbs. in one month, or your money back! No hunger pains! (You will have no appetite at all, and will have to remind yourself to eat.) Amaze your friends! Gu... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1133763 Mon, 07 Jan 2008 23:10:53 +0100 1133763 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1117541&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F12%2Fbenign-girl-liv.html OK, so this is cancer-related silliness, but I think we're entitled. We have to get some humor out of our situation, and Benign Girl, a Chinese Barbie-doll knock-off, so perfectly fills the bill. When you have a tumor, which in and of itself is not cancer, the big question is whether or not the tumor is cancerous (bad) or benign (good). Most of the people who read my blog have been in cancer territory for some time, and for one person, at least, they were ALWAYS there. I think I started paying special attention to the comments and posts of my friend and fellow cancer blogger, Amorette, when she drew my attention to the existence of Benign Girl, and then again when she commented that she had never had a chance to be Benign Girl. Because of some nasty industrial polluting by Dupont, Am... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1117541 Wed, 26 Dec 2007 22:37:08 +0100 1117541 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1087512&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F12%2Fbooby-prizes.html From now on, all runners up in our contest An All-Time Low: For Rudeness and Insensitivity will receive a Booby Prize. Thanks to Amorette, who found these at a flea market, and actually had the nerve to buy one. They are actually "stress balls," you know, the ones you squeeze to build your grip strength and reduce stress. Any woman within range who sees a guy squeezing one of these is not going to have HER stress reduced, of course. All contest runners up will receive a real Booby Prize if we have an address for them, or if we know them and can just hand it over in person. Otherwise, we'll send the prize via e-mail, and they'll just get the digital image. The winner of the All-Time Low Contest gets an even better prize. Keep those entries coming! Read more: Woolly breasts ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1087512 Tue, 11 Dec 2007 20:17:12 +0100 1087512 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1048932&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F11%2Fsurviving-the-3.html Sara sent me the link to The Brick Testament, an illustrated version of the Bible, made entirely of Legos. Now, we've played with a lot of Legos around our house (two sons who progressed from Duplos to Legos by about age 5), and it wasn't all that long ago that Younger Son built a Star Wars vehicle (the Millenium Falcon, I believe it was) out of Legos, but I had never seen this. (When queried, Younger Son acknowledged that he'd seen it, "of course." His favorite section is The Law, in the Old Testament.) My first thought is, of course, that someone had WAY too much time on his hands. My second thought is, read this with a kid at Christmas. I don't think you have to be religious to appreciate the Birth of Jesus in Legos. In fact, perhaps it's better if you're not religious. Rev. Sha... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1048932 Sun, 25 Nov 2007 19:06:11 +0100 1048932 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1041268&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F11%2Fsurviving-the-1.html A warning: This section is not PC. If you don't like black humor, turn the page. However, I feel that there is a place for black humor in coping with difficult situations, such as having cancer at Christmas time. So, here's the first contribution, from me: Q: What do you give a person with cancer for Christmas? A: Something that can be consumed in a short period of time, like cookies or a jar of jam. No lifetime memberships to anything. Send me your holiday black humor, either in an e-mail (jeanne.sather@gmail.com) or as a comment at the bottom of this post. @ Jeanne Sather 2007. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1041268 Wed, 21 Nov 2007 03:57:38 +0100 1041268 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1005096&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F11%2Fmeet-the-breast.html Meet the members of the Breast Cancer Barbie Family: Breast Cancer Barbie (issued by Mattel, 2006) Every single thing that Breast Cancer Barbie wears is pale pink: gloves, gown, spangled stole, lipstick, and the tiny pink ribbon stitched to her left shoulder. The shawl wraps across her shoulders and crosses behind her back, just like the pink ribbon symbol of breast cancer awareness. The box, of course, is pink. Prostate Cancer Ken (created by Jeanne, 2007) I decided to make Prostate Cancer Ken because I was so pissed off last year when Mattel came out with the pink ribbon Barbie doll, the doll I call Breast Cancer Barbie. I thought if I did a gender-reversal people would better be able to see how stupid this Barbie doll is, and how offensive it is to a woman like me. Benign Gi... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1005096 Mon, 05 Nov 2007 21:00:54 +0100 1005096 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=994878&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fhow-low-will--9.html Choosing the winners in our month-long competition to find the tackiest, most trivial, most offensive pink ribbon products endorsed by the Komen Foundation wasn't easy. As readers of this blog know only too well, during October we cancer survivors have had to run the gauntlet of tacky pink crap whenever we ventured into a retail establishment. (One easy answer: Stay home. Vote with your wallet.) However, allowing for personal biases on the part of the judge (me), some clear winners did emerge. And they are: Grand Prize: to the blogger Dubutaunt, for her entry: Jingle Jugs for Life Jingle Jugs sells life-size boobs, or "racks," that bounce in time to the song "Titties and Beer." Its market? Frat boys. From the Jingle Jugs Web site: “Our newest version of Jingle Jugs comes with a ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=994878 Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:59:53 +0100 994878 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=988382&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fmeet-benign-g-1.html Benign Girl, a Chinese Barbie knock-off, does exist. I’ve heard from two blogging friends who have spotted her, either in dollar stores or flea markets. (Amorette sent me the photo at right.) If you do see one, please buy it for me and I will reimburse you. But in the meantime, I’ve found my own Benign Girl at a second-hand store in Vancouver, B.C. Paid $2 for the little darling and she is going to join my “Wall of Shame” as Breast Cancer Barbie’s little sister. You can see from the photo how much Benign Girl resembles me as a child—the photo in the background is me at age 6—the same freckles across the nose, the same red-brown hair with thick bangs, the same chubby cheeks. I haven’t played with dolls for decades, but I’m going to enjoy dressing this one. ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=988382 Mon, 29 Oct 2007 17:42:13 +0100 988382 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=965712&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fprostate-canc-3.html Read my rant about Breast Cancer Barbie. @ Jeanne Sather 2007. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=965712 Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:50:42 +0100 965712 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=965713&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fprostate-canc-2.html The text on the back of the box reads: Prostate Cancer Ken Prostate Cancer Ken comes with the following accessories: Backless blue hospital gown Blue prostate cancer armband Teddy bear Book: Prostate Cancer for Dummies Depends adult diapers Viagra Breast Cancer Barbie sold separately @ Jeanne Sather 2007. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=965713 Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:44:06 +0100 965713 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=965714&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fprostate-canc-1.html There is nothing like being stripped of your own clothing (and identity) and dressed in a backless cotton hospital gown to make the most self-confident among us feel like a powerless child. Or a doll. Woo! Do you feel a breeze, Ken? @ Jeanne Sather 2007. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=965714 Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:35:16 +0100 965714 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=965715&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fprostate-cancer.html In the Barbie doll tradition, Prostate Cancer Ken comes with a number of accessories. These include a copy of "Prostate Cancer for Dummies," a bottle of Viagra, Depends diapers for men, and a teddy bear. How many of you--adults--received a teddy bear when you were diagnosed with cancer? (I have three, at least.) Even worse, was it pink? Shoot me an e-mail and let me know. jeanne.sather@gmail.com The label on the Viagra bottle reads: Viagra. Take one (1) tablet by mouth 30 minutes before attempting sexual intercourse. Refills: 3 (The "pills" inside are blue M&Ms.) Remember, this is a drug that all health insurance companies pay for, while many still do not cover birth control for women. (Fill in the expletive of your choice HERE.) @ Jeanne Sather 2007. Sabino Canyon (Source:... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=965715 Sat, 20 Oct 2007 20:27:47 +0100 965715 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=958801&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Ffrom-rose-on-pi.html A comment posted to my blog by Barry, whose daughter Rose died of cancer yesterday at age 20. Barry wrote, Someone bought my daughter (fighting metastatic osteosarcoma) an actual pink ribbon. She replied, "Thanks, I'm still dying, but I'm sure this will help." Bless you, Rose, you were my kind of woman. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=958801 Wed, 17 Oct 2007 18:10:46 +0100 958801 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=944435&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fmms-and-cancer.html As promised, I am making a mosaic out of pink ribbon M&Ms. Here are some shots of this work in progress. I hope to have the mosaic completed by tonight. Then I will post a photo. I plan to send the mosaic, titled, "What I See in the Mirror Every Morning (And It Ain't Pretty)," to the makers of M&Ms. @ Jeanne Sather 2007. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=944435 Thu, 11 Oct 2007 19:34:49 +0100 944435 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=941746&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fhow-low-will--1.html Amorette's Entry: Eat (Chicken) Breasts for the Cure Read the label carefully. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=941746 Thu, 11 Oct 2007 00:01:31 +0100 941746 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=933925&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fwalk-for-the-fr.html The organizers call it the Walk for Hope. I call it, the Walk for the Freebies. Here's a report from someone who was there. As you can guess, pink everywhere, but that was to be expected and I had taken anti-nausea medication before going. The walk/run, a 5 K, was held down at Magnuson Park and the Expo attached to it was in one of the hangars. I knew there would be exhibitors there, but I was expecting the usual suspects, like Cancer Lifeline, Gilda's Club, the odd sport-drink and energy-bar vendor, some of the area medical centers and maybe a grocer or two handing out produce. My jaw just about hit the floor when I saw not just the number of vendors, but the amount of loot that was to be had ... according to one woman I talked to, this event is known for the amount of "swag" it... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=933925 Mon, 08 Oct 2007 02:27:12 +0100 933925 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=933252&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=36162&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.myelomablog.com%2F2007%2F10%2F07%2Fsir%2F Why would anyone call me sir?  I was pumping gas today, wearing my IMF cap to cover my bald head.  I had on flowered pants and a neon orange t-shirt with a cartoon dog on it, for crying out loud. Plus, I’m only 5′ 5″ tall, not to mention other obvious attributes. There’s no way [...] (Source: beth's myeloma blog) beth's myeloma blog blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=933252 Sun, 07 Oct 2007 20:04:00 +0100 933252 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=847207&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fbreast-cancer-b.html Oh my god, it's Breast Cancer Barbie's little sister, Benign Girl! My friend Teresa, the Cheeky Librarian, sent me this link. Take a look: Benign Girl Now Breast Cancer Barbie has Prostate Cancer Ken AND Benign Girl. I've e-mailed my friend and fellow cancer blogger, Jacqueline, who lives in New York, to ask her to check out the 99-cent stores for a Benign Girl from China (somebody named this doll with a Chinese-English dictionary in hand. Too funny). Of course, those of you with sharp eyes will have noted that the package doesn't contain a doll, just a toy phone, with a photo of a blonde, Barbie-like doll on the package, along with the name. Pretty soon I'll have an entire alternative family of Barbie dolls. (In October, I plan to mail Prostate Cancer Ken to the good folks at Mat... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=847207 Thu, 06 Sep 2007 20:54:57 +0100 847207 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=655357&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F06%2Fneed_a_snappy_c.html A couple of things became very clear after last week's post asking for snappy comebacks: One, Teri, the Cheeky Librarian, and I are not alone is our quest for the perfect snappy comeback when a stranger asks an intrusive question. And two, we are under no obligation to tell the truth just because someone asks. The second point opens up all sorts of possibilities. And really, what obligation do I have to answer truthfully when I'm asked a question that I don't want to answer in the first place, and that I may find upsetting or simply an invasion of my privacy? Freedom. All sorts of folks suggested all sorts of snappy comebacks. Here are some samples. Feel free to borrow them: 1. My friend Jill has metastatic breast cancer and often wears a sleeve or wraps her arm because of lymphedema... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=655357 Mon, 04 Jun 2007 02:56:44 +0100 655357 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=644480&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F05%2Fsnappy_comeback.html There is nothing worse for us writers than to be caught flat-footed with nothing to say. My friend Teri, the Cheeky Librarian, and I have been having some exchanges about snappy comebacks—you know, the perfect words to say in response to outrageous comments, usually from total strangers. It’s happened to all of us, and not just about cancer. Mommy and Me Older Son is adopted, and since he is Japanese and I am a Northern European blend (German, Norwegian, French, Irish, English, and Scottish, since you asked), it’s pretty clear to the least-observant passerby that we are not blood relatives. But it’s also pretty clear that I am his mom, not the nanny. When we lived in Japan, strangers, including young schoolgirls, assumed that my son was half-Japanese, since my then-husband wa... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=644480 Wed, 30 May 2007 04:26:43 +0100 644480 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=622962&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F05%2Fwhat_cancer_pat.html When we’re not waiting on hold for hours at a time, or stuck in the bathroom with upset tummies (or worse), we call our insurance companies. Just for fun. I have a bill from the University of Washington Medical Center that dates back to 2005. As far as I can tell, I do not owe this money, and I have had numerous conversations both with the billing office at the UWMC and with my insurance company, trying to straighten it out. They each, however, refuse to talk to the other about the bill, so it has been dragging on for almost two years, and every so often I get a reminder in the mail. I got one just last week, as a matter of fact, and I’m saving it for a day when I’m in the mood for a fight. But of course I’m always calm on the phone—sarcastic is as far as I will go. And ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=622962 Fri, 18 May 2007 23:22:00 +0100 622962 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=562435&cid=t_114465_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F04%2Fpeep_surgery.html OK, so the little peeps don't have cancer, and putting a link to "Peep Surgery" on my blog is a stretch. However, what makes it funny to those of us who spend a lot of time in Medical Settings, shall we say, is that the folks who wrote this have the medical vocabulary down cold. Read it for yourself; you'll see what I mean: Peep Surgery (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=562435 Mon, 23 Apr 2007 01:35:57 +0100 562435