MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'children of'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:07:53 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5182331&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-does-letting-go-mean%2F Let go as they fall “To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means ’I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, its the realization I can’t control another human. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reali... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5182331 Wed, 31 Aug 2011 17:16:04 +0100 5182331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5131058&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-of-dysfunctional-parents%2F Recently I published an article about Children of Hoarders an issue I was unaware of until I accidentaly stumbled upon their website. There was a large response to this article. It seems there are similarities between Children of Hoarders and Children of Alcoholism (ACOA). It highlighted my need to become aware of other groups of children with similar problems. Are there other similar ‘children of ……….’ conditions? Does the same pattern of psychological illness appear in these children of ……..? Do some of these children become codependent? Some that I can think of are children of …; Drug addicts Compulsive gamblers Mental health sufferers Sex addicts Workaholics Religious sects I’m particularly interested in self-help, mutual-help type groups or organisations as well as... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5131058 Sun, 14 Aug 2011 08:43:36 +0100 5131058 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103517&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fco-dependent-relapse%2F A Checklist of Symptoms Leading to Co-dependent Relapse: Co-dependent : A Person who has let someone else’s behavior affect him or her and is obsessed with controlling others behaviour Denial Patterns: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others. Low Self-esteem Patterns: I have difficulty making decisions. I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never “good enough.” I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behaviors over my own. I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person. Compliance Patterns: I c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103517 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 15:48:00 +0100 5103517 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103519&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhow-children-deal-with-parents-alcoholism%2F Millions of Americans suffer from the psychological and physical disease of alcoholism. The resulting emotionally destructive impact on the children of alcoholic parents and the family unit is enormous. Alcoholic parents usually act out their addiction in one of two negative ways: violent and abusive behavior or emotional unavailability and neglect. People who grow up in an alcoholic family often demonstrate a pattern of specific emotional issues and behaviors as a result of their parent’s addiction and dysfunction. For example, among alcoholic families, there is a high percentage of abuse — physical, verbal and sexual. The resulting dangerous climate in the home often pits the children against one another. Full story at; How children deal with parents’ alcoholism » Lifestyl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103519 Fri, 05 Aug 2011 23:49:49 +0100 5103519 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5097101&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F24-workplace-actions-of-acoas%2F Adult Children of Alcoholism / Addiction in the Workplace ACOA’s often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true co-dependency style these often confuse and confound us. Some of these are; We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood. We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships. We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job. Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them. We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5097101 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:47:09 +0100 5097101 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5078041&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fteens-its-not-your-fault%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!   Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5078041 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 04:07:53 +0100 5078041 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029221&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecovery-self-awareness%2F Meditating Mindfulness for Recovery Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. It has been adapted for use in treatment of depression, especially preventing relapse and for assisting with mood regulation. Mindfulness has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are, i.e. non-judgementally. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention in depression and has been found to have considerable health benefits. These exercises are designed to introduce the principles and can be used by anyone recovering from a mood altering disease such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling, food problems, addiction, codependency or adult children of alcoholics.. If you let cloudy water s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029221 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:01:05 +0100 5029221 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029222&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbeyond-co-dependency%2F : And Getting Better All the Time By Melody Beattie A book for any one who has had a relationship with an alcohol, addict or compulsive gambler. Adult Children of Alcoholism / addiction, wives, husbands, parents &etc. Review By Neal J. Pollock (VA USA) While I have not read Melody Beattie’s other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the obvious signs of co-dependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship. I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards co-dependency, but there may also be peopl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029222 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:47:07 +0100 5029222 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893923&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstages-in-the-alcoholic-family%2F Chaos in alcoholic familiesA family with an alcohol in its midst will go through several stages in dealing with the chaos and disruption caused by the alcoholic. These stages are described below in order of appearance.Denial: Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away by both marriage partners. Drinking because of tiredness, worry, or a bad day is not unbelievable. The assumption is that the episode is isolated and is, therefore, not a problem.Attempts to Eliminate the Problem:The non-alcoholic spouse realizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to pressure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. At the same time, the spouse tries to hide the problems from the outside and keep up a good.front. Children may start t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893923 Fri, 03 Jun 2011 19:03:25 +0100 4893923 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872481&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Ffht-X0H6iyI%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!  Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation and it’s important to addr... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872481 Mon, 09 May 2011 15:34:00 +0100 4872481 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872482&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FNzuGazygTRo%2F Coupleship: How to Build a RelationshipA recovery book about the process of being in a relationship.Forming a happy, joy-filled partnership is one of the greater challenges. Through Coupleship, many can find greater understanding and tools to: Enhance a current marriageMake a decision about commitmentExplore ways to find a partnerLoving and being loved isn’t a skill, its a learned process sprinkled with a little magic. Explore, learn and understand.About the AuthorSharon Wegscheider-Cruse, is a nationally known consultant, educator and author.She was the founding chairperson of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics.She is a family therapist who has conducted workshops around the world and has consulted with the military, school systems, business and industry, treatment ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872482 Mon, 09 May 2011 14:10:00 +0100 4872482 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872486&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F7rStxdPvF-I%2F This is a key video about Bulimia from Face The Issue and narrated by Catherine Zeta-Jones.Catherine Zeta-Jones in Legend of ZorroThis is a quote from a sufferer of Bulimia.for the past week i keep binging..ive been on a diet now since about 4 months or so and ive lost [edit]… i was doing really good and i hardly ever binged maybe once in the whole time.. all of a sudden in the past 2 weeks ive binged (and then purged) about 6 times.. i dont know whats wrong with me.. i feel so out of control.. i hate purging i know not even half the food comes up and then i feel guilty im really scared to gain weight again, i promise myself i wont do it the next day and then i do.. i just want control over my mind again but it seems liek i cant get control of it.someone please help.. Share, print or... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872486 Fri, 06 May 2011 15:50:01 +0100 4872486 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872487&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F44G-oFFWOsQ%2F A classic recovery book for adult children of alcoholics.Have you ever said that to yourself? Or, I’ll never be like …? First published 20 years ago, It Will Never Happen to Me is the definitive book/workbook for adult children of alcoholics. With her reassuring and informative approach, Claudia Black expertly identifies common issues faced by children who grew up in alcoholic families–shame, neglect, unreasonable role expectations, and physical abuse. Using narratives and profiles, she describes survival techniques characteristic of children raised in alcoholic families, including the unspoken laws of don’t talk, don’t trust, and don’t feel. First explaining how such learned responses cause difficulties in adulthood, Black carefully guides readers in identifyi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872487 Fri, 06 May 2011 15:50:00 +0100 4872487 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4724268&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fresolve-to-be-thyself%2F Resolve to be thyself; and know that who finds himself, loses his misery.–Matthew ArnoldIn recovery from alcoholism, addiction and ACOA our need for approval compels us to try to look good – no matter what’s going on. We imagine that somehow everything will be okay as long as it looks okay. Our hearts may be breaking from fear, disillusionment, and rejection, real or imagined, but we keep smiling so that no one will guess. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is it so hard to turn to a friend and say, “Hey, I’m hurting. I’ve been having a bad time and I need help”? Would the earth tremble if we said it right out, just like that?We’re not likely to get what we don’t ask for.  Instead of denying that our knees are shaking, our hands are sweat... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4724268 Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:21:00 +0100 4724268 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4724270&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Faffirmations-for-recovery%2F On Becoming Your Own Loving ParentAffirmations to be Repeated Each DayThese affirmations apply to recovering addicts, alcoholics, co-dependents, adult children of alcoholics / addicts and anyone working for recovery from a dysfunctional upbringing.Affirmations with other recovery program work are a powerful tool for addressing our critical nature toward ourselves and others. These affirmations represent the basic truths that most of us did not receive as children, but we can claim as adults. Read these affirmations out loud for several weeks.  You may also write down some of them and post them where you can read them. With affirmations, we begin to change our inner Critical Parent.  We learn to give ourselves a break.It is okay to know who I am.It is okay to trust ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4724270 Sun, 17 Apr 2011 16:32:00 +0100 4724270 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4684770&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fcoping-depression-in-adult-children-of-alcoholics%2F Coping Behavior and Depressive Symptoms in Adult Children of AlcoholicsThis research examined whether adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) would report more depressive mood symptoms as compared to non-ACOAs, whether coping behaviors differed as a function of ACOA status, and whether specific coping behaviors were related to depressive mood symptoms in ACOAs.Participants were 136 college students categorized as ACOAs and 436 college students categorized as non-ACOAs.As compared to non-ACOAs, ACOAs reported significantly more symptoms of depressive mood.On the COPE Inventory, ACOAs reported higher use of the following coping strategies:Withdrawal and defend themselves physically, cognitively and emotionally,Denial,Focus on Venting of Emotions,Humor, andSubstance Use.For both the ACOA and non... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4684770 Tue, 05 Apr 2011 14:51:08 +0100 4684770 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4566345&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fprinciples-of-recovery%2F Image via WikipediaThese are the Guiding Principles of Recovery for alcoholics, addicts and co-dependentsThere are many pathways to recovery.Recovery is self-directed and empowering.Recovery involves a personal recognition of the need for change and transformation.Recovery is holistic.Recovery has cultural dimensions.Recovery exists on a continuum of improved health and wellness.Recovery is supported by peers and allies.Recovery emerges from hope and gratitude.Recovery involves a process of healing and self-redefinition.Recovery involves addressing discrimination and transcending shame and stigma.Recovery involves (re)joining and (re)building a life in the community.Recovery is a reality. It can, will, and does happen.Source: CSAT White Paper: Guiding Principles and Elements of Recovery-Or... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4566345 Wed, 09 Mar 2011 16:03:00 +0100 4566345 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4560607&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fam-i-controlling-2%2F Some insightful questions to examine possible relationship problems in recovery.I must be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.I value other’s approval of my thinking, feelings and behaviors over my own.I agree with others so they will like me.I focus my attention on protecting others, even from themselves.I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.I keep score of "good deeds and favors," becoming very hurt when they are not repaid.I am very skilled at guessing how other people are feeling.I can anticipate others’ needs and desire, meeting them before they are asked to be met.I become resentful when others will not let me help them.I am calm and efficient in other people’s crisis situations.I feel good about ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4560607 Mon, 07 Mar 2011 16:25:00 +0100 4560607 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4528016&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fnarcissism-in-a-bottle%2F : The Self Centerdness of Addiction | RecoveryView.com.Over the years I have listened to a sort of running monologue from clients who grew up with an addicted parent. It goes something like this: “I felt like it was all about them, like what was going on inside of me was sort of invisible, like what they wanted or needed always came first.” They go on and on describing a family dynamic that circulated around the immediate needs of the addict. They talk about how they often found themselves staying quiet and well behaved so as not to disturb a drunk or hung-over parent or bring a torrent of anger down on them. They also describe a world in which their other parent was constantly over-burdened; hiding the extent of the problem and working double time to make the family seem “normal”.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4528016 Mon, 28 Feb 2011 07:52:36 +0100 4528016 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489985&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEsEBu0zngAk%2F These symptoms and characteristics of the thoughts and actions of a codependent are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.Denial Symptoms: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.Low Self Esteem Symptoms: I have difficulty making decisions.I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.I value others approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.Compliance Symptoms: I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others anger... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489985 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:02 +0100 4489985 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489986&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZa0qJUk3-VE%2F Stop Enabling the AlcoholicDiscontinuing “enabling,” along with putting the onus for the drinker’s behavior and its consequences on the drinker.Do not cover up for them. Let them be responsible for their actions.Accept your responsibility, if any, for enabling, and then transfer 100 percent of the responsibility back to the alcoholic once you have talked it over.He or she is then unable to use you as an excuse.Enabling includes protecting the problem drinker from the negative consequences of alcohol use. After all, if someone makes excuses when you miss appointments because of drinking too much, reheats dinner because you’ve missed it after stopping at the bar on the way home from work, readily has sex with you even if you’re drunk, or lends you money every time you lose your job... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489986 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:00 +0100 4489986 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489988&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8A_Dtuz42jM%2F CONCLUSIONS: Adolescent COAs are at risk for depression, suicide, eating disorders, chemical dependency, and teen pregnancy. It has been proposed that mental health professionals teach core resiliency factors to promote healthy behaviors for this vulnerable population.Children of addicted parents are the highest risk group of children to become alcohol and drug abusers because of both genetic and family environment factors.Twenty-two percent of those studied identified themselves as a child of an alcoholic. This is consistent with current estimates of children of parental period alcoholics, which is calculated to be 22%. In another study among 595 African American boys age 13 to 17 years, identified that 23% of the participating teens were COAs. The National Association of Children of Alco... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489988 Sun, 13 Feb 2011 15:32:00 +0100 4489988 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4470532&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcoholism-affects-the-entire-family-2%2F …Not Just the AlcoholicHow many people are involved in the life of any one alcoholic? Family, friends, employer, co-workers… It is important to remember that all these people are affected by alcoholism-not just the alcoholic. Many of them spend a lot of time and energy trying to "fix" the alcoholic: covering up for them, punishing them, taking responsibility for them.For over 56 years, Al-Anon Family Groups (including Alateen for younger members) has been providing help and hope to families and friends of alcoholics. In non-professional, mutual support meetings, members share their own experience, strength, and hope to help one another to recover from the effects of alcoholism. Living with alcoholism has been described as living on a merry-go-round, where each family memb... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4470532 Sat, 12 Feb 2011 15:25:00 +0100 4470532 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4439026&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecognizing-co-dependency%2F Alcoholism may be a disease of isolation, but it is rarely an individual problem. Understanding how "enabling" works is the first step in helping both the alcoholic and the co-dependent seek help.Enabling is any action by another person or an institution that intentionally or unintentionally has the effect of facilitating the continuation of an individual’s addictive process.Who Is An Enabler? Most often, enablers are persons who genuinely care about the alcoholic — family, friends, co-workers, clergy.Their love and concern, unfortunately, often leads them to do things that actually help the alcoholic stay that way.They "cover" for the alcoholic, inventing excuses for absenteeism, tardiness, or inappropriate behavior.They "save" the alcoholic by taking... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4439026 Sat, 05 Feb 2011 15:12:00 +0100 4439026 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4429230&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falateens-purpose-2%2F Cover via AmazonAlateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service.The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.What Alateen members learncompulsive drinking is a disease.they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.they are not the cause of anyone... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4429230 Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:04:36 +0100 4429230 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4382953&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F7-cs-for-alcoholic-detachment%2F Image via WikipediaChildren, Adult Children and partners of alcoholics often develop seven ways or attitudes to deal with the drinker. These are;Guilt and shame implied by the alcoholic about causing them to drink excessivelyIf I caused alcoholism, I must be able to find a remedyIf I can’t cure it I can control the behaviour and drinkingAvoiding self-care in deference to the alcoholics needsFearfully not expressing own needs and feelingsMaking poorly considered decisions – unhealthy, irrationalBelittling self, abilities, accomplishments and potentialIn recovery children of alcoholics and co-dependents learn to reverse these attitudes. Quite simply these principles are life attitudes.The Seven C’s of Another Persons Alcoholism – DetachmentI didn’t Cause itI can’t Cur... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4382953 Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:40:00 +0100 4382953 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4377794&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-of-alcoholics-week-2011%2F Sunday, February 13 – Saturday, February 19MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF COA’s AND HONORING RECOVERY –AN ANNUAL CELEBRATION OF HOPE AND HEALING (From the NCOA website)During Children of Alcoholics Week you and your organization can be a part of a grassroots nationwide and international celebration spreading the word that children living with addiction in the family need the support of caring adults. During this week we join our voices and connect our activities to raise awareness that children of addiction can be encouraged and supported just knowing there are safe people who can help. By raising our voices together we can encourage able, caring adults to be there for children who suffer when a parent abuses alcohol and other drugs.We can also reach the children with imp... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4377794 Fri, 21 Jan 2011 00:12:24 +0100 4377794 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4352855&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftypes-of-12-step-meetings-2%2F Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery.The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are:OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem.Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the programAt the end of the meeting there is usually a period for lo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4352855 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 15:44:01 +0100 4352855 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4305110&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-promises-of-acoa-recovery%2F Image via WikipediaAdult Children of Alcoholics is an anonymous Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of women and men who grew up in an environment of addictiveness (alcohol or other substances) or in other-wise dysfunctional homes. Our willingness and resiliency bring us together.We share our experience, strength, and hope to validate our experience as well as give some hope to the new member. We take positive action in our lives today. By practicing the Twelve Steps, focusing on “The Solution”, and accepting a loving Higher Power of our own understanding, we find freedom from the past and a way to improve our lives.These are The Promises of ACoA RecoveryWe will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4305110 Mon, 03 Jan 2011 03:46:55 +0100 4305110 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4305111&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomen-the-12-steps-of-aa%2F 12 Steps lead women upwardsWomen and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: A Gendered NarrativeThis paper examines how women “work” the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) from a gendered perspective.Feminist critics of AA havechallenged the language of AA’s Twelve Steps,the spiritual nature of the steps, andthe male-dominated culture of the Twelve-Step program.This paper offers insight into how women in AA approach, interpret, and utilize the Twelve Steps to recover from alcoholism.Through survey and narrative data, findings suggeststhat women working AA’s Twelve Steps become empowered andchange for the better in spite of the male-dominated culture and language of the Twelve Steps andregardless of the difficulty they may have encountered in completing these steps.In part... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4305111 Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:21:02 +0100 4305111 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4302287&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fzxsr76yUkPU%2F Image via WikipediaAlateen saved mom’s life, made mine better :: Lifestyles :: Post-Tribune.Dr. Wallace: My parents are divorced and I live alone with my mother, who is a recovering alcoholic. Mom has been recovering for more than a year. That’s when she decided to stop drinking and enrolled in Alcoholics Anonymous. She did this because I had been attending Alateen, a group where teens learn how to cope with parents who are alcoholics.More at; Alateen Made my Life BetterRelated articlesAl-anon MP3 Podcasts (recoveryissexy.com)Help an Alcoholic 8 (recoveryissexy.com)Adult Children of Alcoholics can Practice ‘being normal’ (recoveryissexy.com) Share, print or e-mail this articleRandom Articles10 Relationship MythsAlcoholic Cirrhosis of the LiverAct As If BeliefReleasi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4302287 Thu, 30 Dec 2010 03:19:14 +0100 4302287 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4300718&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-co-dependency-is-not%2F Sometimes people mistake the milk of human kindness for co-dependency. Thus, when co-dependent women start to recover, the pendulum swings the other way and they become determined not to "caretake" or to give away too much. They don’t want to offer care unless someone asks. This is fine, and for some a necessary part of the recovery, but some distinctions are in order.Empathy, sensitivity, care, compassion, and tenderness are wonderful traits. Being deeply involved and nurturing in a relationship can reflect a person’s wonderful capacity for intimacy. The ability to protect and care for children is a skill to be highly valued. When you comfort someone in need, you bestow a precious gift. Tuning in to the needs of others is beautiful. The codependent woman does not need to get... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4300718 Wed, 29 Dec 2010 15:45:01 +0100 4300718 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4302289&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6UXBnW6HjLU%2F Take care of yourself“Live a full life of your own.”“Make sure you live a life of your own that does not depend on the undependable person.”“Carry on with your life after you’ve let the alcoholic know you aren’t babysitting anymore.”“Let them go, and focus on your own health and peace of mind.”These comments from masters underline the importance of taking care of yourself despite the problems with the drinker.Often, however, in an attempt to hide a family member’s alcohol abuse from others, spouses withdraw and isolate themselves from friends and other family members.Taking care of yourself might mean signing up for a class in the evenings, getting together with buddies from the past, or going away by yourself for a weekend.See also;AA and ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4302289 Sun, 26 Dec 2010 15:28:01 +0100 4302289 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287585&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FN0vztXo_0FE%2F Image via WikipediaMany areas of our life need healing.One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency.Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for others or ourselves.Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.Some of us may have... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287585 Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:44:00 +0100 4287585 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287588&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6iKgemJAL-0%2F During the past 12 months how often have you: Given money to your partner thinking he/she might buy alcohol or drugs with it?Purchased alcohol or drugs for your partner?Taken over your partner’s typical chores and responsibilities neglected because of his/her drinking or drug use?Lied or made excuses to family or friends to hide your partner’s drinking or drug use?Drank or used drugs with your partner, or in your partner’s presence?Told your partner that it was okay to drink or use drugs on certain days or for special family or social gatherings?Borrowed money to pay bills caused by your partner’s drinking or drug use?Changed or cancelled family plans or social activities because your partner was drinking, using drugs, or hungover?Had sex with your partner when you ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287588 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:19:00 +0100 4287588 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287590&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FlQa8_FSAwnc%2F .A new research study reveals a strong link between alcohol dependency and gambling problems, Reuters reported.According to researchers at the Research Institute on Addictions at the University at Buffalo, N.Y., adults with an alcohol addiction are 23 times more likely to have a gambling problem than those who do not drink.“If you’re in trouble with alcohol, the odds you’re also in trouble with gambling increase enormously,” said lead author Dr. John W. Welte. “Most of that correlation is that problem behaviors tend to cluster in the same people.”The study also found factors that identified which racial and ethnic groups were more likely to have a gambling problem. “Gambling is more common among lower socioeconomic people, blacks and Hispanics, than among ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287590 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:57:02 +0100 4287590 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4266280&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-mp3-podcasts%2F An official Al-anon MP3 websiteFor over 55 years, Al-Anon (which includes Alateen for younger members) has been offering strength and hope for friends and families of problem drinkers. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people… alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon/Alateen fellowship.New Podcast website Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.Drinking During the HolidaysJanie, Ern... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4266280 Wed, 15 Dec 2010 16:16:27 +0100 4266280 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287581&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2Fnz4ptnbbE0g%2F /Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. Examined the processes through which 20 committed members (aged 29-52 yrs) of self-help groups for adult children of alcoholics experience alterations in their perceptions of family of origin.Results suggest that world view transformation in the family of origin domain involves;learning to define the family as pathological,assigning responsibility for this pathology to a disease,forgiving oneself,accepting that one was adversely affected by the family’s problem, andultimately learning to accept one’s parents’ shortcomings.Humphreys, Keith. World view change in Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy. Vol 46(2), Ap... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287581 Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:37:02 +0100 4287581 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4245610&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FST_9NgWX_fY%2F as Adults Women who were physically or sexually abused as children are more likely to abuse alcohol or be alcohol-dependent (alcoholic) as adults, according to a recent study. HealthDay News reported Nov. 22 that researchers used a sample of 3,680 women taken from the 2005 U.S. National Alcohol Survey. They correlated eight measures for past-year and lifetime alcohol use with the women’s reports of physical and sexual abuse in childhood.  "The take-home message is across a range of alcohol consumption patterns, child abuse is consistently associated with alcohol abuse," said lead researcher, E. Anne Lown, DrPH, of the Alcohol Research Group. "All of my measures found that association." Investigators controlled for a variety of factors, including education... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4245610 Fri, 03 Dec 2010 10:03:35 +0100 4245610 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4187056&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FqPmRjnYgmms%2F This article explores the roots and spiritual dimensions of 12-step recovery programs. It further explores the ways in which theoretical and clinical knowledge about the delivery of spiritual care interventions may be gained from an understanding of AA’s spiritual approach to recovery.Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing; Lessons in Holism and Spiritual Care. Eileen M. McGee, J Holist Nurs 2000; 18; 11.Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption.Random ArticlesBrain Damage & CirrhosisTreating Alcoholism as a Chronic DiseaseAdjunctive therapyThe Experiences of Alcohol DependenceThe Brief-TSF Model (Source: Twelve Step Facilitation.com) Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4187056 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 18:27:40 +0100 4187056 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4159518&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F7fKiJ3Jw9uY%2F A Bill of Rights For Adult Children of Alcoholics / Addicts and, in fact, all people. Bill of rights I do not have to feel guilty just because someone else does not like what I do, say, think, or feel. It is OK for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways. I do not have to assume full responsibility for making decisions, particularly where others share responsibility for making the decision. I have the right to say, "I don’t understand" without feeling stupid or guilty. I have the right to say "I don’t know" I have the right to say "no" without feeling guilty. I do not have to apologize or give reasons when I say no. I have the right to ask others to do things for me. I have the right to refuse requests which others make of... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4159518 Tue, 09 Nov 2010 16:19:00 +0100 4159518 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4143021&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-acoa-co-dependency-2%2F You can talk to a dozen experts, read a dozen books and get a dozen different interpretations of ACOA co-dependency.   Many accept it as a disease in as much as it has an onset, is progressive, predictable and in time potentially fatal, although other causes of death are generally cited.   It is assumed that all Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) are co-dependents, but we each act out this illness in a different way.  Basically, there are two general concepts: As children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home environment, we learned to hide or divorce our feelings, our true selves (also knows as the "Inner Child") and we adopted a survival role in order to cope with the stresses.   The experts in the field of alcoholism have ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4143021 Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:37:06 +0100 4143021 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4122080&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmind-guide-to-relaxation%2F Image via Wikipedia Learning how to relax improves day-to-day living, and can be a valuable tool for coping with stress of any kind. Suitable for anyone in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, ACOA, co-dependency, compulsive gambling & etc. This booklet explores why people have problems trying to relax and how to resolve them. It explains how to introduce more relaxation into your everyday life, and how to take it further. It is not designed to go into specific deep relaxation techniques. Topics in this article include; What’s the link between stress and relaxation? What’s wrong with the way I relax now? How does relaxation differ from recreation? I feel too tense to relax. What can I do? How can I introduce more relaxation into my everyday life? How can I ta... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4122080 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 16:57:00 +0100 4122080 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4119727&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fforgiveness-of-self-2%2F Image via Wikipedia I have studied many ways to self-forgiveness and have found this to be the definitive document on the why, who, how and where of forgiveness. Recovering members of 12-Step fellowships, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, ACOA, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, may find this helpful. It is important to forgive ourselves for our own confusion and unhappiness. It’s important to forgive ourselves for our own failures and stuckness––for the dreams, desires and visions that did not come true. If it seems that we may go unfulfilled in the ways we expected or strived for, we must be especially kind to ourselves in self-forgiveness. It is also important to forgive ourselves for the wounds we carry and the harm we caused others. Through the medium of prayer or me... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4119727 Wed, 27 Oct 2010 16:53:00 +0100 4119727 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4086522&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FcI-szDLNqrI%2F What Is NACoA? The people hurt most by drugs and alcohol don’t even use them; they are the CHILDREN of alcoholics and other drug dependent parents. The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (NACoA) believes that none of these vulnerable children should grow up in isolation and without support. NACoA is the national nonprofit membership and affiliate organization working on behalf of children of alcohol and drug dependent parents. Our mission is to advocate for all children and families affected by alcoholism and other drug dependencies. In a word, we help kids hurt by parental alcohol and drug use. • We work to raise public awareness. • We provide leadership in public policy at the national, state, and local levels. • We advocate for appropriate, effective and ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4086522 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 15:45:52 +0100 4086522 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4086524&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F_yDewJGElt0%2F Image via Wikipedia Clergy Prevention Handbook NACoA’s latest publication from The Clergy Education and Training Project® is Preventing and Addressing Alcohol and Drug Problems: A Handbook for Clergy. This was prepared with support from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, Center for Substance Abuse Prevention. This handbook provides some basic information on alcoholism and addiction, the impact of parental addiction on children, facts about adolescent alcohol and drug use, and prevention strategies. It also has an appendix with handouts for use with children of alcohol and drug dependent parents. Clergy Certificate Program NACoA, in partnership with NAADAC, The Association for Addiction Professionals, has created a new milestone for congregational leader... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4086524 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 13:51:12 +0100 4086524 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4086525&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fz1oRVEIjTvQ%2F Image via Wikipedia Moving from anger to forgiveness is a healing experience Adults who grew up with alcoholic parents probably have plenty to be mad about. As children, they were virtually powerless to stop the forms of abuse and neglect they often suffered. They couldn’t express their anger or outrage in a healthy manner. Instead, many either acted out their anger by getting into trouble or reacted inwardly by converting anger into shame, depression or low self-esteem. It can take years of hard work to discover how deep the wounds really go. If anger isn’t eventually dealt with responsibly, it can be a major block to personal growth. Unresolved anger is often a factor in addictive and compulsive behaviors and relapse. Holding on to old anger can cause people to avoid conf... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4086525 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 13:25:21 +0100 4086525 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4001710&cid=t_341020_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F09%2F25%2F6-more-steps-to-better-communication%2F In a recent job interview, I was asked, “How would you get your client to see things your way?” I said, “By seeing things his way first.” The associate looked a little confused, so I continued. “You aren’t going to get anywhere if you don’t listen first, right? You can’t make him come around to your plan, if you don’t understand the purpose and intention behind his plan.” In their insightful book, We Need to Talk: Steps to Better Communication, Paul Donoghue, PhD and Mary Siegel, PhD discuss how a few tweaks in how we approach difficult conversations can save relationships. Whether it be confrontations between spouses, parents and children, work colleagues, or friends, knowing a few basic skills of expressing ourselves can lead t... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4001710 Sat, 25 Sep 2010 11:50:22 +0100 4001710 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982120&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FKSiVvVxcEnY%2F A great video from Face the Issue about the effects of drugs narrated by Sarah Jessica Parker. This is an anonymous quote from a young addict trying to reclaim their life. ok, so pot, is fine let’s not get into that…. but whenever i hang out with my friends they’re always drinking, which i don’t do, because i’m on pills. lots of pills, pills to sleep, pills to wake up, pills to dull the pain, pills to be numb… it’s ok, i have a prescription…. but for a while i got off them. because i ran out but the other day i found some codiene and i took it, with other stuff… and in my spnish class it started kicking in… and i felt… complete… which is terrible because lately i’ve been hella down because collectively ev... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982120 Sat, 18 Sep 2010 14:32:47 +0100 3982120 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3983554&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F5-strengths-of-an-acoa%2F What’s Your Greatest Asset? Five Strengths of an Adult Child of Alcoholism / Addiction Amy Eden writes about the assets of ACOA’s. “I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel exasperated with the emphasis on problems tied to being the offspring of alcoholics. Today I need to hear the B side of the record, to think about our other characteristics.” Here are her first five assets of ACOA’s. YOU CAN EMPATHIZE YOU’RE INDEPENDENT YOU’RE CREATIVE YOU’RE RESILIENT YOU’RE CALM Full post at Guess What Normal Is. See also; Adult Children of Alcoholics Al-Anon Alcohol intervention may help. An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s Normal Daily Affirmations for Adult Children of Alcoholics - Share, print or e-mail this articleRandom ArticlesSought Through Prayer... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3983554 Sat, 18 Sep 2010 14:32:46 +0100 3983554 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982122&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fwx-C3hIxzRg%2F Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. It has been adapted for use in treatment especially preventing relapse and for assisting with mood regulation. Mindfulness has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are, i.e. non-judgementally. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention and has been found to have considerable health benefits. These exercises are designed to introduce the principles and can be used by anyone recovering from a mood altering disease such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling, food problems, addiction, co-dependency or adult children of alcoholics. If you let cloudy water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982122 Fri, 17 Sep 2010 15:52:00 +0100 3982122 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982125&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FP1MAAuSR4k0%2F Research proves that the Al Anon method of encouragement and support is the best way to help a recovering alcoholic / addict stay sober A recent American clinical study examined the effect of perceived criticism on relapse back to substance abuse, and found that the perception of criticism was a very significant factor leading to relapse. Families can best help in the recovery process by remaining encouraging and supportive, and additionally attending both therapy with the alcoholic, as well as some form of family support organization. The Al Anon philosophy: Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. I�... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982125 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:39:07 +0100 3982125 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3946694&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdefinition-of-codependency%2F Codependency is a condition that results in a dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people.  A codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed.  Enabling This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other person to continue to be needy.  This behavior is called enabling.  The enabler will purposefully overlook someone abusing a child, will call in sick for someone suffering from addiction, will put roadblocks to prevent their child from becoming independent, or even keep a sick family member from getting the treatment that would make them well.  These are behaviors common to codependents.  A codependent often suffers from a ‘Messiah Complex’ where he sees problems with everyone ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3946694 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:10:00 +0100 3946694 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3933269&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-on-youtube%2F Al-Anon Speaks for Itself Part 1 A wife, father, husband, and daughter describe what it is like to love someone who has a drinking problem – an alcoholic. The wife says, "I didn’t live in reality at all. I covered up and made believe." The father says, "When the police came and told me the charges against my son, it was unbelievable. To see my son taken away in handcuffs was the most difficult day of my life." To the right of the YouTube panel you will find other videos about Al-anon. Click here for the YouTube video; Al-Anon Speaks for Itself Part 1 See also; Al-Anon May be able to help Alcoholic Family Roles Lifeskills for Adult Children Choicemaking Share, print or e-mail this articleAl-anon Speaks for ItselfAlcohol and the FamilySex Addictio... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3933269 Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:22:17 +0100 3933269 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3889306&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fno-sex-people%2F This article may help. Andy is young and healthy – yet he’s never experienced physical desire. And there are thousands more like him. Olly Bootle meets the asexuals. At 21, Andy Holland is happy, easy-going and interested in the same things as most university students. With one notable exception: Holland is not attracted to women, or to men. In fact, he has no desire to have sex. And in this, he is not as unusual as we might assume. The first crush that Tessa Barratt had was on a Transformers toy called Rat Trap. “He was my first heart throb,” she says. The shelves in her bedroom are lined with models of Transformers. Playing with them now, laughs as she admits, “I don’t know how I fell in love with a rat.” Barratt is now 22. But she’s not that much closer to having what mo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3889306 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:24:01 +0100 3889306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3889307&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-of-alcoholics-have-different-emotional-responses%2F This study used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to examine brain responses to emotional stimuli in adolescent COA’s considered “vulnerable” or “resilient” to Alcohol-use disorders. Findings indicate that resilient COA’s have greater control over their emotional responses, while vulnerable COA’s seem to have difficulties processing emotional stimuli. “COA’s are between 4 and 10 time more likely than non-COA’s to develop Alcohol-use disorders,” … said Mary Heitzeg, research investigator in the psychiatry department at the University of Michigan. “It is widely believed that this is due to a combination of genes that are passed on and the environment these children are raised in. Both of these factors – genetics and environment – can influence... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3889307 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:24:00 +0100 3889307 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3876898&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadult-children-of-alcoholics-can-practice-being-normal-2%2F “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. "I know what it is to be codependent. I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parents, but struggle with how to do it. They have some notions that are guided by prin... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3876898 Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:57:00 +0100 3876898 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3858387&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdetachment-with-love%2F Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help. In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it. We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves. In Al-Anon we learn: Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people; Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery; Not to do for others what they could do for themselves; Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink; Not to cover up for an... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3858387 Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:35:47 +0100 3858387 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833565&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-and-alcoholic-family-roles-2%2F One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviors in alcoholic families is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981). In this model children adopt various coping and enabling roles. Little caretaker The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their Behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment. Family hero The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabli... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833565 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:17:00 +0100 3833565 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3816766&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fletting-go-of-blame%2F Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.” When we understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that affects the drinker as well as those close to the drinker, we realize that blame is as relevant with this disease as it is with diabetes or Alzheimer’s. The more we know about the disease we are dealing with, the better we are able to make healthy choices as to how we react. “Many of the symptoms of alcoholism are in the behavior of the alcoholic. The people who are involved with the alcoholic react to his behavior. They try to control it, make up for it, or h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3816766 Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:41:00 +0100 3816766 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808846&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-23rd-psalm-for-recovery%2F Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship. The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want. He makes me to go to many meetings. He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health. He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake. He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first. He makes me more humble and grateful. He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference. Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil. Fo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808846 Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:00:01 +0100 3808846 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808848&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhalt-for-health%2F HALT. Don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. As a codependent I use this reminder to help me set healthy limits for myself, which I never learned as a child of an alcoholic. In the past, I often believed I should be able to go for days without food or sleep. I also tested the limits of my ability to handle enormous doses of stress and isolation without tending to my own emotional needs. Al-Anon has taught me a gentler, simpler way of caring for myself. I find it of great benefit to have a brief list of the most basic areas in which I neglect my own well-being: nourishment, emotional wellness, fellowship, and physical rest. First, is my stomach rumbling? Then I need to stop what I’m doing and eat some food. Am I too angry about the trivial details of my life? If so ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808848 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:49:00 +0100 3808848 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3776617&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcohol-risk-factors-differ-for-men-and-women%2F Research Summary; Women and men appear to have different genetic and environmental risk factors for alcoholism, Reuters reported. A quartet of new family studies on alcoholism show, for example, that while both sexes are more likely to develop alcoholism if they have a history of aggressive behavior in childhood, women who experienced severe physical punishment in childhood were also at elevated risk, while men were not. "Clearly, there are some common antecedents (to alcoholism), such as conduct disorder or symptoms, but there are also predictors unique to each gender," said researcher Aruna Gogineni of the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. "These are the kinds of findings that call out for many more studies on women in order to determine how the mechanisms of a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3776617 Wed, 21 Jul 2010 20:05:18 +0100 3776617 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3763064&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FdNyj1oSWx7o%2F Alcoholism is a worldwide issue, causing problems not only for the drinker but for everyone else connected with that person as well. People who are sometimes called codependents. Every alcoholic affects at least 4 other people, many of them children troubled by their parents’ drinking. Often, these young people have nowhere to turn for help. This is where Alateen comes in. Alateen is fellowship of young relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together to discuss their difficulties, encourage one another, and learn how to cope with their problems. These young people are often introduced to Alateen by concerned friends, neighbors, school counselors, and clergy. Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups which helps those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3763064 Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:36:00 +0100 3763064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3754084&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FzwtzrNBgTwc%2F This article may help if one follows the tips before a real addiction develops. I’m not a psychiatrist: if you fear your problem is so serious you need professional help, go out and see one. I’m going to write this article for those who might have trouble leaving the computer behind when the back of your eyes are telling you it’s definitely bedtime, but your spouse hasn’t packed up and left yet as a result of it – not quite a full-blown addiction, just on your way there. Detecting the Problem The problem with many addictions is that it can be hard to tell when a hobby has become more than just that, and taken a hold on you. It can also be hard to be honest with yourself when facing a list of symptoms, so make the extra effort now – we’re going to go through a few. Yo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3754084 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:23:02 +0100 3754084 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3730105&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomens-sexual-health%2F Women Say Sexual Health Issues Impact Multiple Aspects of Their Lives. Many women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, compulsive gambling or co-dependency may identify with this survey. The women included were heterosexual, lesbian and/or bisexual. National Survey Shows 70% of Women Have Experienced a Sexual Health Issue A new survey released today shows 70 percent of women report having experienced a sexual health issue, of which 22 percent felt very or extremely concerned. The survey also found that many women claim they would be comfortable talking to a health care provider about a sexual health issue, but less than one-fifth (18%) actually visited their health care provider when they experienced one. The survey, commissioned by the US National Women’s Health Resource Center (... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3730105 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:27:01 +0100 3730105 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3707006&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Finjured-fantasies%2F Many people have dysfunctional beliefs. Not all of these are in one person but if there is a great many then that person may be dysfunctional. Alcoholics, addicts, codependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify. Some of these dysfunctional beliefs are; That I can control my emotions. That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts. That I deserve: . . .to get something good. . . .to get something bad. . . .to be punished for mistakes. . . .to be rewarded for perfection. . . .to be rewarded for good behaviour, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever. That I can "make" sense out of anything. That I am responsible for . . .for achieving other peoples success. . . .for other people’s feelings, thoughts... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3707006 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 13:53:21 +0100 3707006 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3699710&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-enabling-2%2F Enabling is doing for others what they are capable of doing for themselves. When we enable alcoholics / addicts, we prevent them from experiencing the consequences of their own actions. When we do this, we discourage them from learning from their own mistakes which, in turn, prevents them from realizing they have a problem. The alcoholic / addict has made drugs / drinking their whole life. The normal, natural things every person needs to learn have been put aside. When we continue to reach in and do even the simple things for people we love, how will they learn to do for themselves? When we begin to enable an addict / alcoholic it can spiral into a never ending co-dependency trap. How do we enable? We enable alcoholics / addicts by doing things such as: Paying their bills, making ca... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3699710 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:10:00 +0100 3699710 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3691117&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F5-friendship-themes-from-sex-and-the-city-2%2F Friends as Family. Members of 12 Step Fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics will recognise these themes as being part and parcel of everyday life in recovery. These themes may also be familiar to one of the stars, Kirsten Davis, who is in recovery from alcoholism. An Indiana University press release says; Remember The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink? These films illustrate what Maresa Murray calls the "friends as family" concept. Today, television viewers see a myriad of shows with similar themes. Think Sex and the City, Entourage, Cashmere Mafia and Lipstick Jungle. "We are currently seeing some of the same themes from 20-25 years ago in families, relationships and media," says Murray. "One ex... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3691117 Thu, 24 Jun 2010 08:06:00 +0100 3691117 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3678660&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Faddiction-symptoms-video-2%2F A great video from Face the Issue about the effects of drugs narrated by Sarah Jessica Parker. This is an anonymous quote from a young addict trying to reclaim their life. ok, so pot, is fine let’s not get into that…. but whenever i hang out with my friends they’re always drinking, which i don’t do, because i’m on pills. lots of pills, pills to sleep, pills to wake up, pills to dull the pain, pills to be numb… it’s ok, i have a prescription…. but for a while i got off them. because i ran out but the other day i found some codiene and i took it, with other stuff… and in my spnish class it started kicking in… and i felt… complete… which is terrible because lately i’ve been hella down because collectively ev... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3678660 Sun, 20 Jun 2010 00:38:00 +0100 3678660 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3672054&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ffetal-alcohol-syndrome-2%2F Each year, as many as 40,000 babies are born with alcohol related defects. The most common defect is known as Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and it is also the most preventable. Even if the symptoms aren’t physically visible, as these children grow they will encounter obstacles every step of the way. They may have trouble sitting still, trouble with moderation, a proclivity for binge drinking and difficulty learning and remembering new things. While books can be purchased on the subject of learning disabilities and children may be sent to special schools, there is no real cure for FAS so the emphasis is on prevention and education. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is one of the few known preventable causes of mental retardation. Physical features of someone with FAS may include any or all of the... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3672054 Wed, 16 Jun 2010 17:18:00 +0100 3672054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3662961&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-signs-of-bad-relationships-2%2F Many people have experienced or practiced abuse in alcoholic or addictive relationships. You may be an alcoholic, addict, codependent or child of a bad relationship (ACOA). In recovery these behaviors need to be addressed in the program in confidence with a sponsor or counselor. This list is not complete, but it may help you begin to find understanding and ways out of the quagmire of pain. 1.  Isolates you from friends and family 2.  Is verbally abusive 3.  Blames others for his problems 4.  Alcohol and drug use 5.  Does things to instill fear 6.  Punishes you for spending time away from him 7.  Expects you to wait on him like a servant 8.  Is extremely jealous of all aspects of your life 9.  Controls you through his emotions 10.  They g... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3662961 Tue, 15 Jun 2010 03:08:04 +0100 3662961 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656941&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsay-no-to-guilt%2F Today I will say no without guilt. Today I will say no whenever it is in my best interests to do so.  Just as important, I will say no without feeling guilty or fearful. My attempts to separate from my parents were met with threats of abandonment.  As a result, I learned to avoid having my own opinion for fear of rejection.  Deep within me now, I feel a strong desire to become my own person, to stand free of all unhealthy attachments and discover who I am.  When I disregard my limitations and permit others to violate my boundaries, I harm myself. Today I will love myself enough to say no when I find it necessary.  I will reassure the child within me that those who truly love me will not abandon me when I must tell them no.  No matter what the response, today... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656941 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 15:01:00 +0100 3656941 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656942&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdepression-video-2%2F A great video about depression from Face the Issue narrated by Kate Hudson. The following is an anonymous quote from a sufferer of depression. lately ive been feeling down, like i used to, ive had a heavy heart fora few weeks now, i cant sleep properly, and it all reminds me of when i had my issues, im afraid that they might be returning, that illl relapse and i wont recover this time, ive already relapsed back into my self harm once in the last month, i dont want to do so again, but if i am falling back into the abyss will i be able to crawl back out again, i know ive done it once, but can i do it again? do i have the strength? i just dont know at the moment       Hazelden and HCIBooks Online Spirituality Books Inspirational Books Love & Relationships Books ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656942 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 01:30:00 +0100 3656942 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656943&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fzen-and-a-cup-of-tea%2F Balanced life of Zen When ever I consider Steps 4 to 9 of the 12-Step program I know I am emptying my cup of memories from my drinking days. I know that when the cup is drained I can be my true self. And, that process of draining my cup goes on continuously. A Zen story explains; Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen. Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor’s cup full, and then kept on pouring. The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. “It is overfull. No more will go in!” “Like this cup,” Nan-in said, “you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?” This may apply equally ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656943 Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:54:01 +0100 3656943 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3652695&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fi-value-what-is-unique-in-me-2%2F Uniqueness: I value what is unique in me I value my own specialness and I dare to reveal it. Since the universe expresses itself through the differences in all of creation, I choose to acknowledge my own uniqueness. My inner self speaks through the nonconformity that I am. Today I applaud nonconformity and the differences within my life. I am free of the need to please others or to conform to what they are. When I am true to myself, I easily and lovingly express my own opinions and beliefs without fear of rejection. My self-worth is not on the line when I recognize the uniqueness in myself and others. I do not have to agree with everyone, and everyone does not have to agree with me. Belief in my differentness allows me to understand those who do not understand me. I praise my uniqueness a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3652695 Fri, 11 Jun 2010 15:50:00 +0100 3652695 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3652697&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-relationship-myths%2F Ah, relationships in recovery. How delightful, how satisfying, how frustrating, how disastrous. Take your pick or apply any other expression. It does not matter how we describe relationships in recovery the fact is we may be learning or relearning facts-of-life. When we are clean and sober we look at relationships differently, and, as we progress in the program we change our perspectives. Many long term Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholic (ACOA) members say we should keep out of new relationships for the first 12 months on the program. That’s probably good advice especially when we look at some of the common myths of relationships. We are having enough trouble trying to re-establish a relationship with ourselves let alone with another perso... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3652697 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:55:00 +0100 3652697 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3641331&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falcoholism-is-a-family-disease%2F Family Recovery Family recovery is one of the keys to treatment for alcoholism. Alcoholics and alcohol abusers attract more public attention, but their families and friends also suffer long-term effects from alcoholism-and their recovery may be essential to the alcoholic’s recovery, according to a leading researcher in the field. “Alcoholism is a family disease. While it is important for the family to support the alcoholic’s recovery, it is also important for members of the family to get involved in their own recovery. Family recovery decreases the chances that the children of alcoholics will repeat the pattern and engage in unhealthy relationships,” said Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics and director of the Mid-Atla... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3641331 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:07:01 +0100 3641331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3641332&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-12-step-recovery-program-love-it-or-leave-it%2F For those who don’t know or have never heard of Al-anon, it is a 12-step recovery program that is the counter-part to the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step recovery program. It was initiated by Lois Wilson (the wife of Bill Wilson; one of the original founders of Alcoholics Anonymous) as a safe haven and support group for anyone who is dealing with a loved ones alcoholism (and/or drug addiction) Attendee’s include wives, husbands, partners, parents and adult children of alcoholics/ addicts. Young children of alcoholics attend Alateen sponsored by Al-anon. I have been attending Al-anon meetings for 20 years and came away from my first meeting thinking…"What a bunch of losers, as well as… I heard some interesting things here." As a professional family substance abus... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3641332 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 17:07:00 +0100 3641332 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607826&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falateen-acceptance%2F Whenever we Alateen members met with Al-Anon, I felt doubtful. I didn’t think adults could help me in any way, because they were sure to have the same sick attitudes as my alcoholic parents. I would think to myself, "Oh great, here we go again." But I was the one with the sick attitude. I had closed my mind, not only to my parents, but to all adults. I brought this attitude to meetings, so I didn’t learn a thing. I had to deal with my old resentments before I could recognize the wonderful gift Al-Anon was offering. Here were people who could help me heal the wounds my parents’ drinking had left, and help me to know that it is safe to be a part of my world. It took discipline and courage to stop pushing every adult away, but because I made the effort, I began to see that adu... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607826 Thu, 27 May 2010 15:38:00 +0100 3607826 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607827&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frewards-of-the-acoa-12-steps%2F ACOA works, it really works This is an extract of a post on an ACOA discussion group and is used with permission of the writer. You got me thinking..about how my life used to be before attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings versus today… I used to suffer depression but now with medication and therapy, I don’t I used to have rage attacks, but after working the 12 steps, I don’t I used to feel hopeless ad helpless but today I feel powerful and in control of my life I used to have NO relationship with my children but today they live 10 minutes from me and end every conversation with, I love you mom I used to have NO relationship with my grandchildren but today I am the BEST Nana I know of. I used to have a poor relationship with my hubby but today we are actually teaching ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607827 Tue, 25 May 2010 16:24:01 +0100 3607827 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3592416&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-experiences-of-co-dependency%2F Co-dependency is often experienced by children of alcoholics, wives or husbands of alcoholics and even parents of alcoholics. The beliefs and thoughts often follow patterns such as these. These can also be found in extended families. My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you. My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you. Your struggles affect MY serenity. MY mental attention focuses on solving YOUR problems or relieving YOUR pain. My mental attention is focused on PLEASING YOU. My mental attention is focused on PROTECTING YOU. My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to "to do it my way". My self-esteem is bolstered by solving YOUR problem. My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving YOUR pain. My own hobbies and intere... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3592416 Sat, 22 May 2010 18:47:48 +0100 3592416 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3589048&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FmUzaXYbgERY%2F Lowering voice may be means of signalling attraction, research finds It’s well known that alcoholics, addicts, Adult Children of Alcoholism and other co-dependents have problems interpreting facial cues in communication. Whilst relearning body language helps one can add voice tone monitoring to ones skills. Flirtation may seem largely visual – the preening, the coy eye contact – but voice plays a role, too. Lowering your voice may be a means of demonstrating attraction, says Susan Hughes, assistant professor of psychology at Albright College in Reading, Pa., in a study, "Vocal and Physiological Changes in Response to the Physical Attractiveness of Controversial Partners," to be published in the fall by the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior. "We found that both sexes used ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3589048 Fri, 21 May 2010 04:58:32 +0100 3589048 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3589049&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F9rA1gdDX8QY%2F What’s Your Greatest Asset? Amy Eden writes about the assets of ACOA’s. “I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel exasperated with the emphasis on problems tied to being the offspring of alcoholics. Today I need to hear the B side of the record, to think about our other characteristics.” Here are her first five assets of ACOA’s. YOU CAN EMPATHIZE YOU’RE INDEPENDENT YOU’RE CREATIVE YOU’RE RESILIENT YOU’RE CALM Full post at Guess What Normal Is. Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, DVD's & Medalions (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3589049 Wed, 19 May 2010 18:56:01 +0100 3589049 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3581857&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FM-DHjXM6q9I%2F The term “co-dependency” was coined more than 20 years ago by authors who studied the negative impact of drug and alcohol use on families. Since then, use of the term has been expanded to include a pattern of psychologically unhealthy behaviors that are learned by individuals as a way of coping with a family environment marked by ignored or denied emotional turmoil. Most people are able to enjoy a sense of healthy, mutual interdependence in their lives. However, people with co-dependency seem to habitually form relationships that are one-sided and emotionally destructive. The central feature of co-dependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships, usually in an attempt to avoid the feeling of abandonment. Signs and symptoms of co-dependency include: Controlling behavior M... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3581857 Wed, 19 May 2010 18:39:01 +0100 3581857 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3566813&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FvrQQNYaDMsU%2F Sometimes people mistake the milk of human kindness for co-dependency. Thus, when co-dependent women start to recover, the pendulum swings the other way and they become determined not to "caretake" or to give away too much. They don’t want to offer care unless someone asks. This is fine, and for some a necessary part of the recovery, but some distinctions are in order. Empathy, sensitivity, care, compassion, and tenderness are wonderful traits. Being deeply involved and nurturing in a relationship can reflect a person’s wonderful capacity for intimacy. The ability to protect and care for children is a skill to be highly valued. When you comfort someone in need, you bestow a precious gift. Tuning in to the needs of others is beautiful. The codependent woman does not need to ge... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3566813 Fri, 14 May 2010 19:57:24 +0100 3566813 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3560505&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FhGdGEkPS9Hk%2F A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehaviour and even abuse on the part of individual members of the family occur continually, leading other members to accommodate such actions. Children sometimes grow up in such families with the understanding that such an arrangement is normal. Dysfunctional families are often a result of the alcoholism, substance abuse, or other addictions of parents, parents’ untreated mental illnesses/defects or personality disorders, or the parents emulating their own dysfunctional parents and dysfunctional family experiences. Behavior patterns Dysfunctional family members have common symptoms and behavior patterns as a result of their common experiences within the family structure. This tends to reinforce the dysfunctional behavior, either t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3560505 Wed, 12 May 2010 21:07:41 +0100 3560505 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3552555&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fzovtg41AgxU%2F These are the most popular articles on Recovery Is Sexy over the last 3 months. 10 Masturbation Myths 10 Reasons for Low Libido 12-Step Speaker Tape Links 5 Ways to Please Your Man In Bed A Woman’s Way Through the Twelve Steps A Women’s Sexual Addiction About Recovery is Sexy Addictive Thinking, Stinking Thinking Alcohol & Sexuality Alcoholic Family Roles Bill and Lois’ Story on Video Codependent No More Lifeskills for Adult Children On-line Gaming Addiction Sensual Massage Sex Addicts and their Partners Sex for Men Over 50 Sexuality in Sobriety Sitemap Stinking Thinking The Role of AA Sponsors Types of 12 Step Meetings Which Sexual acts can Transmit HIV? Women’s Sexual Arousal Women’s Sexual Fantasies Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3552555 Mon, 10 May 2010 15:27:00 +0100 3552555 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3552556&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FRB3c9rXNc00%2F Judy recently shared the following on her Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) e-mail group. I found it so useful that I asked her to allow it to be published here. Judy readily agreed. Good morning group, When I read the daily reading on losing a sense of humor it reminded me … I had to learn to play. When I came to ACA some of the members encouraged me to play by asking what I had never done as a child that I wanted to do. I wanted to learn to roller skate and I wanted a bicycle. I went out and bought a used pair of skates and a used bike. My friends took me roller skating and held my hand around the rink until I could go it alone. It was fun but what I discovered was that what I really wanted to do was dance. I gave away my skates and took dance lessons and I’ve been dancing for ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3552556 Sun, 09 May 2010 17:57:22 +0100 3552556 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3542890&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F5t_yegZQXgU%2F Uniqueness: I value what is unique in me I value my own specialness and I dare to reveal it. Since the universe expresses itself through the differences in all of creation, I choose to acknowledge my own uniqueness. My inner self speaks through the nonconformity that I am. Today I applaud nonconformity and the differences within my life. I am free of the need to please others or to conform to what they are. When I am true to myself, I easily and lovingly express my own opinions and beliefs without fear of rejection. My self-worth is not on the line when I recognize the uniqueness in myself and others. I do not have to agree with everyone, and everyone does not have to agree with me. Belief in my differentness allows me to understand those who do not understand me. I praise my uniqueness an... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3542890 Thu, 06 May 2010 16:41:01 +0100 3542890 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3524458&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FCJmvl9mKIa0%2F Sobriety disc Twelve Step fellowships such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Al-anon, Cocaine Anonymous and others don’t just address the substance or overt behaviour. In progressing through the 12 Steps other benefits will be realized. These are know as the rewards of recovery. One example is; THE TWELVE REWARDS OF SOBRIETY By Searcy W., 55 years sober as at 2001 aged 90. Faith instead of despair. Courage instead of fear. Hope instead of desperation. Peace of mind instead of confusion. Real friendships instead of loneliness. Self-respect instead of self-contempt. Self-confidence instead of helplessness. A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt. The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt. A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence. The love... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3524458 Sat, 01 May 2010 13:54:01 +0100 3524458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3519716&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F0IjhNB2yMoM%2F Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.” When we understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that affects the drinker as well as those close to the drinker, we realize that blame is as relevant with this disease as it is with diabetes or Alzheimer’s. The more we know about the disease we are dealing with, the better we are able to make healthy choices as to how we react. “Many of the symptoms of alcoholism are in the behavior of the alcoholic. The people who are involved with the alcoholic react to his behavior. They try to control it, make up for it, or h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3519716 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 03:33:52 +0100 3519716 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3522831&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FgDG0Cy-PGuQ%2F AA & 12-Step Treatment AA Assists Alcoholics Avoid Alcohol AA Can Help Most Alcoholics AA Fact File AA’s 12-Step Recovery Program Al-Anon offers new life Alcohol and Anxiety Alcohol Problems Database Alcoholic Defense Mechanisms Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing Alcoholics Anonymous Program in India Alcoholics can benefit from Al-Anon Alcoholics Have Trouble Identifying Emotions Alcoholism / Addiction Treatment Saves Money Alcoholism in women Alcoholism Treatment in a Nursing Home Altruism helps AA members stay sober An Introduction to Medication for Alcohol Dependence Anti-craving Drugs Attendance at Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Binge Drinking & Brain Damage Brain Damage & Cirrhosis Brief Intervention in Emergency Room Effective Brief-TSF Descrip... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3522831 Sat, 24 Apr 2010 05:54:31 +0100 3522831 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3490883&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftypes-of-12-step-meetings-3%2F Within Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous Gamblers Anonymous, Al-anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics there are 2 basic types of meetings for fellowship and recovery. The two most common kinds of 12-Step meetings are ‘open’ and ‘closed’. OPEN MEETINGS: As the term suggests, meetings of this type are open to members and their families and to anyone interested in solving a personal problem or helping someone else to solve such a problem. Most open meetings follow a more or less set pattern, although distinctive variations have developed in some areas. A chairperson describes the program briefly for the benefit of newcomers in the audience and calls speakers who relate their personal histories and may give their personal interpretation of the program At the end of the meeting... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3490883 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 10:27:18 +0100 3490883 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3483129&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6kng1PCRMsU%2F Many people have experienced or practiced abuse in alcoholic or addictive relationships. You may be an alcoholic, addict, codependent or child of a bad relationship (Adult Child of Addiction / Alcoholism). In recovery these behaviors need to be addressed in the program in confidence with a sponsor or counselor. This list is not complete, but it may help you begin to find understanding and ways out of the quagmire of pain. Signs of abusive relating; 1.  Isolates you from friends and family 2.  Is verbally abusive 3.  Blames others for their problems 4.  Alcohol and drug abuse 5.  Does things to instill fear 6.  Punishes you for spending time away from them 7.  Expects you to wait on them like a servant 8.  Is extremely jealous of all aspects of your life 9.  Controls you through th... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3483129 Sun, 18 Apr 2010 08:11:37 +0100 3483129 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3480940&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUwBtgHpK-EA%2F Adult Children A recovery book for people outside alcoholic or addictive families. It is estimated that millions of people have grown up in alcoholic homes. But what about the rest of us? What about families that had no alcoholism, but did have perfectionism, workaholism, compulsive overeating, intimacy problems, depression, problems in expressing feelings, plus all the other personality traits that can produce a family system much like an alcoholic one? Countless millions of us struggle with these kinds of dysfunctions every day, and until very recently we struggled alone. Pulling together both theory and clinical practice, John and Linda Friel provide a readable explanation of what happened to us and how we can rectify it. - Order Today >> Adult Children of Dysfunctional Famil... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3480940 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 09:28:27 +0100 3480940 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3472054&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEfD_ige1zWQ%2F I’ve noticed that most of the discussion is from the female perspective. Probably because most of the people who participate are women, so that’s understandable. But I hope to shed some light on the male side of things the best I can. Usually when a woman is in emotional pain she needs to vent, and it really helps if that place to vent is as anonymous as possible. Women are made differently than men. A man will usually retreat to some place of quiet – some place where there is nothing going on at all – where he can regroup – somewhere where he can think and sort everything out. Like when Teddy Roosevelt lost his wife and mother in the same day – he went to the Badlands alone and spent time in the wilderness thinking things through. He was there for several mont... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3472054 Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:13:09 +0100 3472054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3458009&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FHa-XB9TnKuQ%2F From the author of the New York Times bestseller Adult Children of Alcoholics — a wonderful book that affirms and encourages AcoAs by developing skills for living. Imagine how good you would feel if: You could stand up for yourself without losing your temper You could make a decision without second guessing yourself You didn’t have that sense of worthlessness every time someone criticized you You could learn how to say no and stick with it In Lifeskills for Adult Children you can learn how to do these things and more. This book is designed specifically for Adult Children and teaches skills to make your complex adult life easier, while improving your sense of self-worth. Examples are provided to help clarify the lessons and exercises are given to help you practice your new sk... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3458009 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 02:39:00 +0100 3458009 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3454205&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fanger-recovery%2F Adapted from “Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth” by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse; Health Communications, Inc., 1987. Anger is a word we apply to a wide range of feelings. . . Anger can be as simple as a minor irritation. We frequently feel angry when we’re frustrated or when our plans are thwarted. Annoyances may be barely noticeable at first, but if annoyances continue, they can generate considerable wrath. We feel a form of anger when we’re disappointed and let down–most often it takes the form of resentment. When we’re angry, but don’t want to make a deal of it, we use a euphemism, “I’m really teed-off.” Anger is frequently a response to being hurt or suffering loss. Even so, we may not recognize it as such. For ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3454205 Thu, 08 Apr 2010 00:23:55 +0100 3454205 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3454207&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadult-children-of-alcoholics-can-practice-being-normal%2F Don't let the trust stop at birth “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. “I know what it is to be codependent. I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman, supervisor of the Hazelden Family Program, reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parent... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3454207 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:25:00 +0100 3454207 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3441066&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FR7KyD9xcl-Q%2F Have you ever said that to yourself? Or, I’ll never be like …? First published 20 years ago, It Will Never Happen to Me is the definitive book/workbook for adult children of alcoholics. With her reassuring and informative approach, Claudia Black expertly identifies common issues faced by children who grew up in alcoholic families–shame, neglect, unreasonable role expectations, and physical abuse. Using narratives and profiles, she describes survival techniques characteristic of children raised in alcoholic families, including the unspoken laws of don’t talk, don’t trust, and don’t feel. First explaining how such learned responses cause difficulties in adulthood, Black carefully guides readers in identifying self-defeating, destructive behaviors and findin... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3441066 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 15:50:00 +0100 3441066 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3441067&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUBRQnJKXiWM%2F In dysfunctional families, parents violate the boundaries of their children. Parents from these families; do not respect their children’s personal freedom and privacy, they discount their children’s feelings, do not honor their attempts at independent thinking and decision-making, and do not allow them to experience their impulses toward creativity, spirituality and self actualization. These deficits in the children’s development are revisited by problems in their adult relationships and careers, and with raising their own families. When parents disrespect a child’s boundaries, the child’s sense of self are compromised. This affects their; sense of autonomy, self-respect, feelings of effectiveness and making a difference. In place of a healthy sen... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3441067 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 15:21:41 +0100 3441067 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3441069&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FV3q18z3Hq_E%2F Codependency has become a buzzword of our time, and as with all buzzwords that acquire a certain cultural currency, the vital concepts behind it can sometimes be undermined with time. In the case of this particular buzzword, however, we cannot afford to let its meaning slip away. Codependency is one of our most destructive psychological habits, and, unfortunately, one of the most prevalent What is codependency? Contrary to what many people think, codependency does not only refer to dependent relationships that involve substance abuse. Its connotations are far broader. Someone who is codependent is one who has let another’s behavior or feelings affect them in a way that interferes with work, creativity, other relationships and personal growth. Alternately, the word codependency also... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3441069 Sun, 04 Apr 2010 14:34:00 +0100 3441069 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3429458&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FOF5ANYSGzas%2F Seek help It’s dumbfounding to learn that some never seek help of any kind with severe alcohol abuse. One wife says, "If my husband had sought help, he would have been admitting how serious my problem was. It was a big family secret." But other people emphasize the importance of not going it alone when someone you care about has a drinking problem. This comment captures the essence of many suggestions: "Join a support group to keep your own life buoyant and prosperous and to analyze your own negative coping strategies." Not surprisingly, many people who take traditional twelve-step recovery routes suggested going to Al-Anon, also a twelve-step-based program. Also, a number of people make a general comment that family and friends should seek counselling for their ow... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3429458 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:33:00 +0100 3429458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3429462&cid=t_341020_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUfKs47QomLE%2F Coupleship: How to Build a Relationship Forming a happy, joy-filled partnership is one of the greater challenges. Through Coupleship, many can find greater understanding and tools to: Enhance a current marriage Make a decision about commitment Explore ways to find a partner Loving and being loved isn’t a skill, its a learned process sprinkled with a little magic. Explore, learn and understand. About the Author Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, is a nationally known consultant, educator and author. She was the founding chairperson of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics. She is a family therapist who has conducted workshops around the world and has consulted with the military, school systems, business and industry, treatment centers and corporations. She is a past winner of... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3429462 Wed, 31 Mar 2010 14:10:00 +0100 3429462