MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'co dependency'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:33:10 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029222&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbeyond-co-dependency%2F : And Getting Better All the Time By Melody Beattie A book for any one who has had a relationship with an alcohol, addict or compulsive gambler. Adult Children of Alcoholism / addiction, wives, husbands, parents &etc. Review By Neal J. Pollock (VA USA) While I have not read Melody Beattie’s other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the obvious signs of co-dependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship. I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards co-dependency, but there may also be peopl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029222 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:47:07 +0100 5029222 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287581&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2Fnz4ptnbbE0g%2F /Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. Examined the processes through which 20 committed members (aged 29-52 yrs) of self-help groups for adult children of alcoholics experience alterations in their perceptions of family of origin.Results suggest that world view transformation in the family of origin domain involves;learning to define the family as pathological,assigning responsibility for this pathology to a disease,forgiving oneself,accepting that one was adversely affected by the family’s problem, andultimately learning to accept one’s parents’ shortcomings.Humphreys, Keith. World view change in Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy. Vol 46(2), Ap... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287581 Mon, 13 Dec 2010 01:37:02 +0100 4287581 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4152279&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation.com%2F10-things-known-about-addiction%2F . If you were asked: ‘What are the most important things we know about addiction?’ what would you say? This paper brings together a body of knowledge across multiple domains and arranged as a list of 10 things known about addiction, as a response to such a question. Editors note; These things apply equally to addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling, co-dependency and all such afflictions. The 10 things are: addiction is fundamentally about compulsive behaviour; compulsive drug seeking is initiated outside of consciousness; addiction is about 50% heritable and complexity abounds; most people with addictions who present for help have other psychiatric problems as well; addiction is a chronic relapsing disorder in the majority of people who present for help; different psychoth... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4152279 Mon, 08 Nov 2010 16:58:03 +0100 4152279 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4143021&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-acoa-co-dependency-2%2F You can talk to a dozen experts, read a dozen books and get a dozen different interpretations of ACOA co-dependency.   Many accept it as a disease in as much as it has an onset, is progressive, predictable and in time potentially fatal, although other causes of death are generally cited.   It is assumed that all Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) are co-dependents, but we each act out this illness in a different way.  Basically, there are two general concepts: As children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home environment, we learned to hide or divorce our feelings, our true selves (also knows as the "Inner Child") and we adopted a survival role in order to cope with the stresses.   The experts in the field of alcoholism have ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4143021 Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:37:06 +0100 4143021 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3672044&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2Fb-YdyO2BzgA%2F Psychotherapy is a unique relationship, a kind of connection that is unlike any other kind of relationship a person has in their life. In some ways, it can be more intimate than our most intimate relationships, but it also paradoxically values a vestige of professional distance between therapist and client. Therapists, alas, are just as human as the clients they see and come with the same human foibles. They have bad habits, as we all do, but some of those habits have the very real potential of interfering with the psychotherapy process and the unique psychotherapy relationship. So without further ado, here are twelve things you wish your therapist didn’t do — some of which may actually harm the psychotherapeutic relationship. Showing up late for the appointment. Eating in ... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3672044 Tue, 15 Jun 2010 05:24:37 +0100 3672044 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656944&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhealthy-sexuality%2F Many areas of our life may need healing including our sexuality. One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency. Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for others or ourselves. Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexual addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame. Some ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656944 Sat, 12 Jun 2010 15:54:00 +0100 3656944 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3522831&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35805&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Ftwelvestepfacilitation%2FwAgT%2F%7E3%2FgDG0Cy-PGuQ%2F AA & 12-Step Treatment AA Assists Alcoholics Avoid Alcohol AA Can Help Most Alcoholics AA Fact File AA’s 12-Step Recovery Program Al-Anon offers new life Alcohol and Anxiety Alcohol Problems Database Alcoholic Defense Mechanisms Alcoholics Anonymous and Nursing Alcoholics Anonymous Program in India Alcoholics can benefit from Al-Anon Alcoholics Have Trouble Identifying Emotions Alcoholism / Addiction Treatment Saves Money Alcoholism in women Alcoholism Treatment in a Nursing Home Altruism helps AA members stay sober An Introduction to Medication for Alcohol Dependence Anti-craving Drugs Attendance at Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous Meetings Binge Drinking & Brain Damage Brain Damage & Cirrhosis Brief Intervention in Emergency Room Effective Brief-TSF Descrip... Twelve Step Facilitation.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3522831 Sat, 24 Apr 2010 05:54:31 +0100 3522831 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3412597&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F-B4KDydrQeg%2F What is co-dependency How does co-dependency happen? Who is affected by co-dependency? What can be done for a co-dependent? Am I a co-dependent? Understanding Co-dependency answers these questions and develops a scientifically based framework for separating the person and their past from their current disease or disorder. It places our past history and present environment (marriage, job, personal life) in their proper perspectives and shows us how to build a happy, healthy life. The time has come for a book that establishes the fundamentals of co-dependency and Understanding Co-dependency is that book. - Order Today >> Understanding Co-Dependency - Alcoholism, Addiction & Codependency Recovery Bookstore Hazelden Books, DVD's & Medalions (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3412597 Sat, 27 Mar 2010 17:20:00 +0100 3412597 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3354586&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8mNubGYqGzY%2F Women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency often may need new skills in the bedroom. These 5 tips may help. Want to give your man a thrilling experience like never before? Here are 5 really simple ways to make your lovemaking hotter, steamier and more passionate, starting tonight! This is a sampler the full story is at the Ask Dan and Jennifer site. 1. The best position for his enjoyment Practically every animal species utilizes the rear-entry “doggy-style” position, so it is a natural one for humans to enjoy, as well. While you won’t have face-to-face contact, there are many benefits. It’s great for guys because it gives them full control. 2. Find your man’s “hidden” zones Yes, men love to be touched sensually too. I call these “hidden” zones because ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3354586 Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:11:29 +0100 3354586 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3350591&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Ft1YhaQU7G_s%2F CONCLUSION: Results are consistent with previous studies showing that shorter-term outcomes are likely to be maintained, and that baseline characteristics and treatment factors account less for outcomes over longer terms. Research; Bodin MC, Romelsjö A. Predictors of 2-year drinking outcomes in a Swedish treatment sample. Eur Addict Res. 2007;13(3):136-43. See also; Brief-TSF can assist patients cease alcohol consumption. (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3350591 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:58:54 +0100 3350591 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3346727&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FXf_-89VLmVU%2F Codependents sometimes feel trapped behind frosted glass Co-Victims of Alcoholism, some times called codependency Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in an alcoholic or other dysfunctional households. We had come to feel isolated, and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect ourselves, we became people pleasers, even though we lost our own identities in the process. All the same we would mistake any personal criticism as a threat. We either became alcoholics ourselves, married them, or both. Failing that, we found other compulsive personalities, such as a workaholic, to fulfil our sick need for abandonment. We lived live from the standpoint of victims. Having an over developed sense of responsibility, we p... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3346727 Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:35:36 +0100 3346727 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3346733&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FFQaSVgL25e8%2F This article will give many people in recovery food for thought. What is a healthy relationship and how does sex fit in? In the simplest terms, a healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good about yourself and your partner. Not only do you enjoy being together, but you can express your true self, and allow your partner to do the same. All relationships are different, of course, but healthy ones have at least five important qualities in common. The acronym S.H.A.R.E. can help you remember these qualities. Safety: In a healthy relationship you feel safe. You don’t worry that your partner will harm you physically or emotionally, and you don’t feel inclined to use physical or emotional violence against your partner. You can try new things (such as taking a night class) or c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3346733 Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:56:44 +0100 3346733 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339808&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FnRw09tNZoIU%2F Let go as they fall “To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means ’I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, its the realization I can’t control another human. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reali... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339808 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 20:45:51 +0100 3339808 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339809&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fb8d4aGjDTNI%2F What is the purpose of the 12 Steps? All addicts, alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, sex addicts and codependents have the following focus – Me, Myself and I. This one of the main motivations for seeking treatment or recovery. This ‘me, myself and I’ focus is hurting too much. The addiction no longer works to relieve the pain. It’s like a piece of glass in your pocket Imagine you have a piece of glass like that below and carried it around with you at all times to help keep you focused. The edges of the glass are constantly chipped at, with each sharp edge cutting us. And, we are aware of that pain, except sometimes when drinking/ drugging. The pain of addiction gets worse over time. That’s what any compulsive behaviour does, including addiction. It keeps one focused on ‘Me, Myse... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339809 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:13:29 +0100 3339809 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339812&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FhU6aWC_nUoQ%2F “Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program.” Narcotics Anonymous, Basic Text, p. 76 These reservations can apply to alcoholism, addiction, compulsive gambling, codependency or sex addiction. A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it’s the death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbour gives us permission to use when they come true-as they often do. We can prepare ourselves for ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339812 Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:42:43 +0100 3339812 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339813&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FV-dxDYRUr1Q%2F Avoiding and shielding: Any behavior by the codependent covering up for, or preventing the abuser, or self from experiencing the full impact or harmful consequences of drug use. Attempting to control: Any behavior by the codependent performed with the intent to take personal control over the significant other’s drug use. Taking over responsibilities: Any behavior by the codependent designed to take over the abuser’s personal responsibilities, such as household chores or employment. Rationalizing and accepting: Any behavior by the codependent conveying a rationalization or acceptance of the significant other’s drug use. Cooperating and collaborating: Any assistance or involvement by the codependent in the buying, selling, adulterating, testing, preparing, or use of drugs. ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339813 Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:34:14 +0100 3339813 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339815&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FBB2yM86zcwI%2F 6 beers 2 glasses of wine 2 bottles of wine – shared of course Too many Margaritas 3 Kamikazes 7 rum & cokes 1 large purple haze 3 martinis 1 bottle of Tequila NB; To our knowledge, none of these animals actually drank alcohol. (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339815 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:29:37 +0100 3339815 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3339814&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fzn6gI3cct8w%2F Accepted norms of sexual behavior and attitudes vary greatly within and among different cultures. Generally, what is normal and abnormal cannot be defined readily. However, when sexual behavior or difficulties bother a person or their partner or cause harm, treatment is warranted. Societal attitudes about sexuality also change with time, as has occurred with the following: Masturbation: Once widely regarded as a perversion and a cause of mental disorders, masturbation is now recognized as a normal sexual activity throughout life. It is considered abnormal only when it inhibits partner-oriented behavior, is done in public, or is sufficiently compulsive to cause distress. About 97% of males and 80% of females masturbate. Although masturbation is harmless, guilt created by the disapproval and... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3339814 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:29:37 +0100 3339814 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3335575&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-drinking-may-do-for-you%2F 6 beers 2 glasses of wine 2 bottles of wine – shared of course Too many Margaritas 3 Kamikazes 7 rum & cokes 1 large purple haze 3 martinis 1 bottle of Tequila NB; To our knowledge, none of these animals actually drank alcohol. (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3335575 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:29:37 +0100 3335575 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3335574&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsexual-behavior-and-attitudes%2F Accepted norms of sexual behavior and attitudes vary greatly within and among different cultures. Generally, what is normal and abnormal cannot be defined readily. However, when sexual behavior or difficulties bother a person or their partner or cause harm, treatment is warranted. Societal attitudes about sexuality also change with time, as has occurred with the following: Masturbation: Once widely regarded as a perversion and a cause of mental disorders, masturbation is now recognized as a normal sexual activity throughout life. It is considered abnormal only when it inhibits partner-oriented behavior, is done in public, or is sufficiently compulsive to cause distress. About 97% of males and 80% of females masturbate. Although masturbation is harmless, guilt created by the disapproval and... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3335574 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 20:29:37 +0100 3335574 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3327303&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpeople-pleasers%2F People pleasers? Have you ever been around people-pleasers? They tend to be displeasing. Being around someone who is turned inside out to please another is often irritating and anxiety-producing. People-pleasing is a codependent behavior we may have adapted to survive in our family. We may not have been able to get the love and attention we deserved. We may not have been given permission to please ourselves, to trust ourselves, and to choose a course of action that demonstrated self-trust. People-pleasing can be overt or covert. We may run around fussing over others, chattering a mile a minute when what we are really saying is, “I hope I’m pleasing you.” Or, we may be more covert, quietly going through life making important decisions based on pleasing others. Taking other... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3327303 Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:39:00 +0100 3327303 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3327306&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhepatitis-c-does-sexual-transmission-occur%2F Jaundice Although there is some uncertainty about hepatitis C (also called hep C) being transmitted sexually, it’s not classified as an STI (sexually transmissible infection). General scientific knowledge supports this position. Some people, unable to identify any other risk factors, believe they may have contracted hep C sexually. Additionally, some research suggests that a small percentage of people do contract hep C through sexual contact. Thus, transmission of hep C during sex is seen as possible but is believed to be rare. General transmission of HCV Hep C is most commonly transmitted through blood-to-blood contact, ie. when the blood of someone with the virus enters the bloodstream of someone else. This can occur through: sharing needles or syringes or any other drug injecting equi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3327306 Tue, 02 Mar 2010 04:54:39 +0100 3327306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3318668&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FdEcBaxgrVdI%2F Meditating Mindfulness for Recovery Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. It has been adapted for use in treatment of depression, especially preventing relapse and for assisting with mood regulation. Mindfulness has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are, i.e. non-judgementally. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention in depression and has been found to have considerable health benefits. These exercises are designed to introduce the principles and can be used by anyone recovering from a mood altering disease such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling, food problems, addiction, codependency or adult children of alcoholics.. If you let cloudy water s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3318668 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 17:12:25 +0100 3318668 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3318671&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FP8hSX8c_pXA%2F Dr Karen Horney saw neurosis as continuous with normal life. Specifically, she saw neurosis as an attempt to make life bearable, as a way of “interpersonal control and coping.” This is, of course, what we all strive to do on a day-to-day basis, only most of us seem to be doing alright, while the neurotic seems to be sinking fast. In her clinical experience, she discerned ten particular patterns of neurotic needs. They are based on things that we all need, but they have become distorted in several ways by the difficulties of some people’s lives. Let’s take the first need, for affection and approval, as an example (see below). We all need affection, so what makes such a need neurotic? First, in the neurotic the need is unrealistic, unreasonable, indiscriminate. For ex... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3318671 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 16:57:00 +0100 3318671 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3316250&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FoomtlmPBrTg%2F Let go, let ... There’s a story sometimes told by members of Alcoholics Anonymous. A mountain climber stumbles off the edge of a cliff. He manages to break his fall by grabbing a branch on a tree that overlooks the ravine. Hanging for his life, he calls up to heaven. “If there’s anybody up there, help me-please!” A thunderous voice booms from the clouds: “Let go, and I will protect you.” The man pauses for a moment to think. Finally he shouts, “Is there anyone else I can talk to?” Paradoxical Program AA offers a program based on the paradox of personal change-that transformation comes only when we let go of our futile efforts to control what we cannot control. Unlike the man hanging from the tree, we can learn to accept direction from outside ourselves. Over the years, AA m... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3316250 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 04:40:27 +0100 3316250 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3316253&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F4TFYX3y6UOo%2F Anyone can learn online More than 100 Free Places to Learn Online – and Counting People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, codependency, gambling and sex addiction often find they have a ‘need to learn’. Or they find they have missed learning some basic stuff about life and how to live. This list of free online education may help some people. Topics include; Online Tutorials and How-to Sites Higher Education and Open Education Initiatives Free CE, CME, and CEU Cooking Business and Professional Skills Dance Economics Handy Things to Know Economics Health Human Resources International Development Language, Spelling, and Grammar Skills Law Maths Music and Art Sports, Recreation, and Hobbies Theological Web and Computer Skills CAUTION; Select a course wisely that does not inte... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3316253 Sun, 28 Feb 2010 03:55:12 +0100 3316253 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3314797&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fpn5hiGOwqIs%2F Denial is Hazy Thinking Alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents use many and varied combinations of these. Identify yours and work to eliminate them. When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us – Alexander Graham Bell Defence and denial mechanisms are used by all human beings and may be necessary for survival in some situations. We’ve all used defences and denial to distance ourselves from distressing feelings and maintain a sense of emotional stability. Our defence and denial patterns began in childhood when they prevented us from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. However, as an adult we outgrow their usefulness. If we continue to use outgrown defences or denial, we are ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3314797 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 04:30:50 +0100 3314797 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3314799&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FxVFPl8RLECI%2F “Seeking sexual satisfaction is a basic desire, and masturbation is often our first teenage natural sexual activity. It’s the way we discover our eroticism, the way we learn to respond sexually, the way we learn to love ourselves and to build self-esteem.” -Betty Dodson, renowned artist, author and sex educator And, said Woody Allen, “it’s having sex with the one you love.” Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, ACOA or codependency may not be in a sexually active relationship. Relations may need to be rekindled or new relationships may be needed. Additionally, many people may not want to endanger their new found sobriety by being involved in an emotionally charged relationship. Masturbation is normal and common Masturbation is one of the mo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3314799 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 11:10:20 +0100 3314799 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3314800&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F7H9UZUmD1mQ%2F Many people want and need to be close to others as they grow older. This includes the desire to continue an active, satisfying sex life as they grow older. But, with aging, there may be changes that can cause problems. This can be more critical for people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency, ACOA, gambling or sex addiction. What Are Normal Changes? Normal aging brings physical changes in both men and women. These changes sometimes affect the ability to have and enjoy sex. A woman may notice changes in her vagina. As a woman ages, her vagina can shorten and narrow. Her vaginal walls can become thinner and also a little stiffer. Most women will have less vaginal lubrication. These changes could affect sexual function and/or pleasure. Talk with your doctor about these proble... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3314800 Fri, 26 Feb 2010 10:45:00 +0100 3314800 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3311941&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchoice-making-in-recovery%2F Making choices Choice Making A classic in the literature of codependency. “Freedom from” and “freedom to” are essential elements of recovery. Freedom from our pain and our past gives us the freedom to choose our future life path in recovery. Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse uses her own experiences to show us how to become free and how to enjoy the freedom to make choices. She outlines the journey toward spiritual satisfaction and wholeness–the freedom of choice–in this eloquent work. This is necessary reading for anyone who has lived with addictive relationships, whether the addiction was to a drug or another person. - Choice Making – Order today! - (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3311941 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:37:22 +0100 3311941 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3307100&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F5zM96sc22pU%2F Ten Roadblocks to Creative Success To stay competitive in the work world today, you must use your imagination and creativity. These innate gifts have the potential to give us an edge in business and life, yet we are often blocked and fail to accomplish the projects we intend to finish. People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and codependency also need to use imagination and creativity. But, perhaps, in a different manner than they did while drinking or drugging. Or, perhaps, using these life skills for the first time they get confused and disheartened. Creativity is one of the most essential human talents. You have all the creativity you need to accomplish your goals. Your creative ideas provide you with tools for meeting challenges and coping with adversity. By definition, creativit... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3307100 Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:40:00 +0100 3307100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3307101&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FKTy2Ta1GID0%2F Based on the public television series of the same name, Bradshaw On: The Family is John Bradshaw’s seminal work on the dynamics of families that has sold more than a million copies since its original publication in 1988. Within its pages, you will discover the cause of emotionally impaired families. You will learn how unhealthy rules of behavior are passed down from parents to children, and the destructive effect this process has on our society. Using the latest family research and recovery material in this new edition, Bradshaw also explores the individual in both a family and societal setting. He shows you ways to escape the tyranny of family-reinforced behavior traps–from addiction and co-dependency to loss of will and denial–and demonstrates how to make conscious c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3307101 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 13:08:05 +0100 3307101 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3307103&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FXX-8CyylmOY%2F I Found My True Self I grew up in a middle-class family in Australia. We had a three-story home with an indoor swimming pool and I had a pony. But home was not as it looked from the outside. Not How It Looked My family looked very successful, but my mother drank alcohol daily and my dad drank beer and got drunk. Mum and Dad had weekly arguments. My brother was a qualified Chemist at 21. He committed suicide one night— the disease of alcoholism got him. It took me years to seek my own recovery after two marriage break-ups, loss of homes and a life of unmanageability that I did not recognize. My third husband, whom I love very much, is still out there drinking, although he has been in AA. I have been in Al-Anon (12 Step group for relatives and friends of alcoholics) for nine years. Recogn... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3307103 Wed, 24 Feb 2010 12:21:44 +0100 3307103 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3302654&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Finspiration-today%2F Just for today I'm going to sit Meditations and affirmations just for today … Today I will not strike back: If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind…. I will not respond in a like manner. Today I will ask my Higher Power to bless my “enemy”: If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask My Higher Power to bless that individual. I understand the “enemy” could be a family member, neighbour, co-worker or stranger. Today I will be careful about what I say: I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip. Today I will go the extra mile: I will find ways to help share the burden of another person. Today I will forgive: I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3302654 Tue, 23 Feb 2010 09:51:27 +0100 3302654 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3294817&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftiger-woods-truths-his-greatest-legacy%2F Tiger Woods at his public appology Patrick Smith writing in the Australian newspaper concludes that the Tiger Woods experience carries messages for all celebrities and sports stars. It also carries messages for us all in 12 Step Fellowship recovery plus life for all in general. Tiger’s immense and clean celebrity status affirmed the cliché ‘The bigger they are, the harder they fall’. And, as all people in recovery know, the fall from grace is devastating. Most recovering alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents fear making amends to some people they have hurt. And, Tiger Woods did not appear to be any less fearful at his press conference. Woods said “… I know I have bitterly disappointed all of you. I have made you question who I am and how I could have done the things I did. I am ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3294817 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:58:20 +0100 3294817 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3292020&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F9T4gBkE5Hho%2F Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Enjoy life! For co-dependents having fun is often a skill lost in antiquity. We do not have to be so sombre and serious. We do not have to be so reflective, so critical, so bound up within the rigid parameters and ourselves others, and often ourselves, have placed around us. This is life, not a funeral service. Have some fun with it. Enter into it. Participate. Experiment. Take a risk. Be spontaneous. Do not always be so concerned about doing it right, doing the appropriate thing. Do not always be so concerned about what others will think or say. What they think and say are their issues not ours. Do not be so afraid of making a mistake. Do not be so fearful and proper. Do not inhibit yourself so much. God did not intend us to be so inhibited, so restricted, ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3292020 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 01:25:00 +0100 3292020 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3294820&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fgood-sex-10-brilliant-reasons-to-do-it%2F People in recovery from various addictions and co-dependency often question their reasons and sometimes mother natures reasons for having sex. This list may help people think about or discuss their sexual activities. Decisions can then be made about what is right for each individual or relationship. Remember; In good sex no one gets hurt. 10 Brilliant reasons to do it! helps you live longer regulates the menstrual cycle boosts your self-esteem raises hormone (estrogen/testosterone) levels helps you sleep better gives you a mini workout is stress busting improves your relationship relieves emotional pain makes you look terrific Other aspects of good sex are; Sex for pleasure Maintains a healthy genital and pelvic system Needs sensitive genital manipulation Affected by age, disease, da... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3294820 Sun, 21 Feb 2010 00:20:00 +0100 3294820 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3290996&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F91BwAxbv7tU%2F This article may help. Letting someone else’s behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else’s “insanity” affect how we behave and how we feel. At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others’ problems or negative behavior. We may fear they’ll think we simply don’t care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful. I will work on detac... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3290996 Sat, 20 Feb 2010 11:05:04 +0100 3290996 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3291000&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FUJl0CaY11HU%2F What is Millati Islami? Millati Islami is a fellowship of men and women, joined together on the “Path of Peace:. We share our experiences, strengths, and hopes while recovering from our active addiction to mind and mood altering substances. We look to Allah (G-D) to guide us on Millati Islami (the Path of Peace). While recovering, we strive to become rightly guided Muslims, submitted our will and services to Allah. Islam tells us clearly that the status of man in this world is that of an “Abd” (servant or ’slave’). We know that we must learn to be slaves and servants only to Allah and not slaves to mind and mood altering chemicals. We must also learn not to be slaves to people, places, things, and emotions. Allah tells us that man is “Khalifa” (age... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3291000 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 03:25:46 +0100 3291000 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3291001&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FRp6b8xxtj5c%2F Sensual thoughts? Do you experience flights of fantasy when you have sex, followed by intense guilt that you might have betrayed your partner? Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency seem to have this sort of reaction. See list of male and female fantasies at end of this article. You might be surprised to know that sexual fantasies are far more common than you think, and can in fact add value to your relationship. A sexual fantasy, also called an erotic fantasy, is a deliberate fantasy or pattern of thoughts with the goal of creating or enhancing sexual feelings; it is mental imagery that an individual considers erotic. A fantasy can be a long, drawn-out story or a quick mental flash of sexual imagery; its purpose can range from sexual motivations, such as sexu... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3291001 Fri, 19 Feb 2010 00:44:00 +0100 3291001 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3291002&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FS_He3JOGmhQ%2F Enabling of Alcoholism / Addiction Questionnaire During the past 12 months how often have you; Given money to your partner thinking he/she might buy alcohol or drugs with it? Purchased alcohol or drugs for your partner? Taken over your partner’s typical chores and responsibilities neglected because of his/her drinking or drug use? Lied or made excuses to family or friends to hide your partner’s drinking or drug use? Drank or used drugs with your partner, or in your partner’s presence? Told your partner that it was okay to drink or use drugs on certain days or for special family or social gatherings? Borrowed money to pay bills caused by your partner’s drinking or drug use? Changed or cancelled family plans or social activities because your partner was drinking, us... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3291002 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:38:00 +0100 3291002 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3291003&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FxTJpC4ULFKg%2F Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Sexercises: Workouts to Work You Up You know all of the good-for-you arguments for becoming more physically active, but here’s an especially attractive reward: exercise can improve your sex life. This is especially so for women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, adult children of alcoholism, co-dependency, compulsive gambling or depression. Being physically active helps you feel more interested in sex, gives you the energy and strength you need for enjoying your partner or yourself more, reduces the stress that can block sexual interest and builds the muscles used in sexual intimacy. Research shows that exercise boosts women’s sexual arousal—even if they were experiencing low sexual desire before starting physical activity. That ef... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3291003 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:37:22 +0100 3291003 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3288031&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Femotional-communication%2F This article may help alcoholics, addicts, co-dependents and adult children identify some strategies to help. Most people put their best foot forward in a new work setting or when looking to attract a mate, but often stumble keeping the relationship rewarding. Emotional intelligence skills help you reach beyond initial good impressions to more meaningful long term relationships at home or work. Keeping a relationship productive and fulfilling requires a unique skill set that, for most of us, must be learned. Conventional books and articles touting “relationship help” or “emotional intelligence at work” focus primarily on intellectual interventions for changing behavior, but overlook the source of our communication and relationship problems. Emotional memory and the perceptions we h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3288031 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 23:13:00 +0100 3288031 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3283828&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F7spyGevO9xA%2F Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency and compulsive gambling may identify with these points. They may be the victim, the perpetrator or an observer. These reasons apply to heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transsexual people. Additionally, just because someone is in recovery does not exclude them from being difficult in relationships. Why would a woman stay in a relationship with a guy who puts her down, hems her in, and perhaps even physically abuses her? Why would a woman hold down two jobs to keep the rent paid and food on the table while her boyfriend sits around smoking weed all day? Why oh why would a woman allow herself to be emotionally blackmailed by her boyfriend’s threats that he will kill himself or her or both if she even talks ab... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3283828 Thu, 18 Feb 2010 03:24:06 +0100 3283828 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3283829&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FLc2XSGT2HUI%2F The Key A popular aid is the Just for Today card that AA and Al-anon members carry in their pocket or purse and refer to when thinking of a drink or they are disturbed by a life event. Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it. Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3283829 Wed, 17 Feb 2010 03:22:47 +0100 3283829 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3283832&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F-RtDZn8iSSw%2F Healthy Habits avoid relapse Although this is about a relapse into alcoholism/ addiction, it applies to many other areas of life, from overeating to relationships, co-dependency and money problems. Learn to recognize the danger signals, your life depends on it. 1. Exhaustion - Allowing yourself to become overly tired or in poor health. Some Alcoholics are also prone to work addictions – perhaps in a hurry to make up for lost time. Good health and enough rest are important. If you feel well you are more apt to think well. Feel poorly and your thinking is apt to deteriorate. Feel bad enough and you might begin thinking a drink couldn’t make it any worse. 2. Dishonesty - This begins with a pattern of unnecessary little lies and deceits with fellow workers, friends, and family. The... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3283832 Tue, 16 Feb 2010 05:34:35 +0100 3283832 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3276092&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsex-and-love-addicts-anonymous-twelve-steps%2F S.L.A.A. Preamble Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition-oriented fellowship based on the model pioneered by Alcoholics Anonymous. The only qualification for S.L.A.A. membership is a desire to stop living out a pattern of sex and love addiction. S.L.A.A. is supported entirely through the contributions of its membership, and is free to all who need it. We admitted we were powerless over sex and love addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of o... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3276092 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 03:19:37 +0100 3276092 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3276093&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpartners-of-alcoholics%2F Partner’s Criticism Linked to Alcoholic Relapse A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Al-Anon’s purpose of offering “understanding and encouragement” to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation. The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive. The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race. Al-Anon is a support groups for those who are affect... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3276093 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:42:00 +0100 3276093 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3273085&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FI7z4bxsaj_k%2F Twenty Questions to help identify sexually compulsive actions Sexual addiction can be a problem for people in recovery from alcoholism, gambling, addiction or co-dependency. This can be so whether one is gay, lesbian or straight. These questions may help identify or dismiss the problem. The Twenty Questions Do you frequently experience remorse, depression, or guilt about your sexual activity? Do you feel your sexual drive and activity is getting out of control? Have you repeatedly tried to stop or reduce certain sexual behaviors, but inevitably you could not? Are you unable to resist sexual advances, or turn down sexual propositions when offered? Do you use sex to escape from uncomfortable feelings such as anxiety, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, etc. which seem to disappear when th... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3273085 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:35:00 +0100 3273085 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3273087&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8pG0eTyYVe4%2F 40+ Sexuality Variety can be the spice of intercourse Recovery from alcoholism, addiction, gambling or co-dependency is common for people in their forth decade. Often sexuality in relationships has been absent or troubled. This may be true for straight, gays or lesbians. Too many men and women in long-term relationships lament that “the thrill is gone” but often don’t understand why. Some blame themselves or their partners or tell themselves that sexual boredom is as inevitable a part of growing older as wrinkles and reading glasses. It doesn’t have to be that way. And here’s why: To coin a cliché, variety can be the spice of intercourse. There are many kinds of sex play, but here let’s consider intercourse and different ways to do it — that is, experiment with positions. Th... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3273087 Mon, 15 Feb 2010 01:05:00 +0100 3273087 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271197&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FFat4OfKfvfM%2F Learn about the disease This is a bit like the picture at left – can you see other faces in the flowers and the disease of alcoholism? Understand the nature of the chemical alcohol, how alcohol affects the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic in different ways, and why the alcoholic continues to drink when drinking is obviously harming them. Learn about the early-, middle-, and late-stage symptoms of the disease and how these symptoms change as the alcoholic continues to drink. Learn about the underlying physiological changes, including adaption, tolerance, physical dependence, and the withdrawal syndrome, all of which have a profound effect on the alcoholic’s behaviour. Finally, learn why the alcoholic needs to drink, why he becomes irritable, frustrated, and depressed when he is not drink... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271197 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 03:15:03 +0100 3271197 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271198&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FlpeOeqDHxoY%2F Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” -Helen Keller Human beings have an enormous capacity to endure hardships and heartbreak. If their spirits are not broken, people can emerge from what seem like impossible circumstances to not only overcome the difficulties, but be enriched by them. It is when our spirits are broken that we are defeated and embittered by misfortune. Co-Dependent adult children of alcoholics emerge from the chaos of childhood with different degrees of brokenness. Some do not make it. Many remain emotionally numb, but others plant their feet in the ground of recovery and grow. I have the courage within me to go through the process of recovery. From the book, “Gentle Reminders – Daily Affirmations for Codepende... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271198 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 00:17:00 +0100 3271198 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271200&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FeEHq2bRQJNI%2F To be humble is to be balanced in our opinion of ourselves. Humility does not swagger with false pride nor grovel in self-depreciation. Humility is accepting the truth about ourselves. The good news for co-dependents and adult children of alcoholics / addicts is that we are blessed with many fine qualities that we have negated. We need to stand tall and be grateful for these gifts. “Thank you” should become a part of our emotional vocabulary. False pride is often a stance taken to cover up terrible feelings of inadequacy. But the truth is we have our own unique worth. Today I will accept my good qualities and acknowledge my defects. I have the courage to change my behavior and the wisdom to change my false beliefs. From the book; Gentle Reminders – Daily Affirmations for... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271200 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:38:22 +0100 3271200 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271202&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FqEcnPjY-dAg%2F Self propelled merry-go-round Some people, known as co-dependents, act to protect the alcoholic or attempt to make the drugging stop in ways that at first seem to disable the drinking. But, paradoxically, the effect on the addict is the opposite. What usually happens is more drinking. Enabling can take several forms, such as; Avoiding and shielding: Any behavior by the codependent covering up for, or preventing the abuser, or self from experiencing the full impact or harmful consequences of drug use. Attempting to control: Any behavior by the codependent performed with the intent to take personal control over the significant other’s drug use. Taking over responsibilities: Any behavior by the codependent designed to take over the abuser’s personal responsibilities, such as hous... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271202 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:30:16 +0100 3271202 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271203&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FKcRaniTvwmw%2F The relationship within our ‘self’ of body, mind and emotions shapes our ability to relate to other people, and to the spiritual power in the universe. Depression, addictions, compulsive behaviour and low self-esteem are but symptoms, signs of a broken relationship within our ‘self’. They are symptoms of a ‘wounded spirituality’. When this connection between our body, mind and emotions is broken or damaged, our ability, our ‘response-ability’, to respond healthily to life’s circumstances is limited. In 12 Step recovery our task is to identify and undo the broken parts of ourselves and learn to respond positively and creatively – to say YES to life in a way which enables serenity to grow and be maintained. Some of these symptoms are; Alcoholism / drug addict... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271203 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 03:36:48 +0100 3271203 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267205&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FJIqYh2Sos6A%2F Al-Anon Speaks for Itself A wife, father, husband, and daughter describe what it is like to love someone who has a drinking problem. The wife says, “I didn’t live in reality at all. I covered up and made believe.” The father says, “When the police came and told me the charges against my son, it was unbelievable. To see my son taken away in handcuffs was the most difficult day of my life.” To the right of the YouTube panel you will find other videos about Al-anon. Click here for the YouTube video; Al-Anon Speak Part 1 Al-anon Speak part II Al-anon Speak part III Al-anon Speak part IV See also; Al-anon / Alateen Recovery MP3 tracks for all 12-Step Fellowships Self-care Boundaries Language of Letting Go A Woman’s Way Through The Twelve Steps Related R... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267205 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 19:01:47 +0100 3267205 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267206&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FIWEiwmvaa7k%2F Families may be reunited with Al-anons help Research proves that the Al-anon method of encouragement and support is one of the best ways to help a recovering addict stay sober A recent American clinical study examined the effect of perceived criticism on relapse back to substance abuse, and found that the perception of criticism was a very significant factor leading to relapse. Families can best help in the recovery process by remaining encouraging and supportive, and additionally attending both therapy with the alcoholic, as well as some form of family support organization. The Al Anon philosophy: Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267206 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:47:52 +0100 3267206 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267207&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8lWnTrijfao%2F Which letterbox has a dysfunctional family Growing up in an alcoholic family “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. “I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parents, but struggle with how to do it. They have s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267207 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:32:33 +0100 3267207 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3267209&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fd6QO8hrOMms%2F The objective of this study in Canada was to examine the effects of sexual abuse on substance use patients’ presentation and course in treatment. Consecutive admissions to an addictions service were assessed at intake and six-month follow-up. Assessments evaluated socio-demographic and psychiatric characteristics, addiction severity, and physical and/or sexual abuse histories. Upon entering treatment, 23% reported prior sexual abuse with or without physical abuse. Patients with a sexual abuse history had higher rates of psychological problems, stronger family histories of substance use disorders, and more impaired family relationships. At six months, there were no differences between patients with and without sexual abuse histories in their response to treatment, or their utilization ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3267209 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 17:49:01 +0100 3267209 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3262905&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FHP58oxxc4Ss%2F We admitted our lives were out of control Accepted that a Higher Power could help us Got my ego out of the way to let it happen Took a hard, honest look at ourselves Told someone the truth Got ready to change Asked a Higher Power to help us change Remembered all the people we hurt Made it right with them wherever we could Continued to stay honest Put our Higher Power in charge every day Tried to live our values and help others After the Alcoholics Anonymous suggested 12-Steps to recovery. Related Reading: (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3262905 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 03:00:30 +0100 3262905 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3262906&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F_-LLHaTRFGI%2F This article may help you think about the issues involved. Burnout is subtle. It creeps up on you slowly. How do you know if you are burning out? I know well the face of burnout. I found myself questioning my motives, feeling guilty, and being greatly misunderstood. Sometimes I was shamed for not “working the program!” What are the signs of burnout? As a professional counsellor I have researched burnout. According to the best research available on the subject there are three aspects of burnout: 1. Perception of Inequity/Unfairness/Injustice When you start to feel like you are getting the short end of the deal, being mistreated, under-appreciated, the program is not working for you… You may be burning out. 2. Emotional Exhaustion When you start to run out of emotional gas you know som... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3262906 Thu, 11 Feb 2010 01:59:00 +0100 3262906 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3259269&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FMQr5lGvE6bA%2F ACOA's often have inner shadows of early life Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) refers to individuals who have grown up in a dysfunctional family as a result of their parents or caretakers alcoholism. Each ACOA finds they often have common characteristics in adulthood as the result of their childhood and upbringing, often including alcohol or drug abuse themselves. These traits can also be found in other dysfunctional families that include drug addiction, compulsive gamblers, or workaholism. The condition is often referred to as co-dependency as the sufferer usually needs a person dependent or addicted to alcohol or drugs to feel needed. Adult Children of Alcoholics can also refer to any 12 Step Fellowship that, like Al-anon, who assist ACOA with their common problems. Common Traits ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3259269 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 10:22:33 +0100 3259269 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3259271&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FpPwalH4xnAQ%2F Liz Scott Recovery Cooking In the Sober Kitchen by Liz Scott So, what exactly do we mean by a “sober kitchen?”  Although it means much more than merely removing alcohol containing ingredients from our cupboards and fridge, striving for an alcohol-free kitchen is definitely a good place to start. Why is this important?  Because contrary to the old wives’ tale, alcohol does not burn off in the cooking process. In 1989 a USDA study proved that between 5% and 85% of the alcohol added to a dish is retained depending upon the cooking method, type of alcohol used, and the amount of time it is exposed to heat. Indeed, the act of flambéing, or setting a pan alight, actually retains a whopping 75%!  Surprised?  I was too, but even more surprising was that addiction researchers discovered... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3259271 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:53:38 +0100 3259271 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3251400&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fcontrol-freak%2F Do you want to control life like a canal controls water Controllism Questionnaire. Many people in recovery from alcoholism, co-dependency and gambling find they have issues relating to control and submission. To find a comfortable medium one needs to examine the extremes. This is one extreme. Do you find yourself serious most of the time so that having fun is difficult for you? Do you find yourself feeling insecure and lonely even in the company of others? Have you ever felt yourself living a life of quiet desperation? Do you often hide your true feelings? Do you either try to make everything “smooth” or do you try to disrupt and stir things up? Do you have long lists and reminders of what you would like to see accomplished and do you get upset if these aren’t fulfilled... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3251400 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 13:20:29 +0100 3251400 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3251402&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdental-infections-in-recovery%2F This article from the American Academy of Family Physicians may help identify problems. What is dental caries? Dental caries (CARE-eez) is an infection caused by certain bacteria (germs) in your mouth. It destroys the enamel (the hard outer layer) and dentin (the bone-like tissue under the enamel) of your teeth. More common names for dental caries are cavities and tooth decay. How can I prevent dental caries? Taking care of your mouth is important. You and your family should visit a dentist each year, starting at one year of age. You should brush and floss twice a day with toothpaste that contains fluoride (FLOOR-ide). You can start teaching children to brush with a small amount of low-fluoride toothpaste when they are two years old. After six years of age, children can use regular fluorid... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3251402 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:54:44 +0100 3251402 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3251404&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F6-signs-of-co-dependency%2F Co-dependent emotional chaos What is co-dependency? The term “co-dependency” was coined more than 20 years ago by authors who studied the negative impact of drug and alcohol use on families. Since then, use of the term has been expanded to include a pattern of psychologically unhealthy behaviors that are learned by individuals as a way of coping with a family environment marked by ignored or denied emotional turmoil. Most people are able to enjoy a sense of healthy, mutual interdependence in their lives. However, people with co-dependency seem to habitually form relationships that are one-sided and emotionally destructive. The central feature of co-dependency is an unhealthy dependence on relationships, usually in an attempt to avoid the feeling of abandonment. Signs and sympt... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3251404 Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:16:56 +0100 3251404 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3248707&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fpa2dG3lu7HE%2F Recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency and gambling can bring new and unexpected ways to be in love and to express that love. Recovering people may need to rekindle an existing relationship. Or, they may have started a new relationship or sexual orientation with new a partner. To strengthen relationships, counsellors advise couples to “make weekly dates” or “go away on a couple’s weekend.” Those are great ideas, but let’s be realistic: that’s not always possible. These 11 quick and simple ways to express love let busy couples rekindle or promote romance among the chaos of everyday life. 1. Embrace your past. 2. Be kids together – let the inner child out. 3. Wrap your mate in love. 4. Speak the languages of love. 5. Write love notes to eac... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3248707 Sun, 07 Feb 2010 10:58:04 +0100 3248707 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3247080&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FeMKSi0uKrnY%2F We examined the processes through which 20 committed members (aged 29-52 yrs) of self-help groups for adult children of alcoholics experience alterations in their perceptions of family of origin. Results suggest that world view transformation in the family of origin domain involves; learning to define the family as pathological, assigning responsibility for this pathology to a disease, forgiving oneself, accepting that one was adversely affected by the family’s problem, and ultimately learning to accept one’s parents’ shortcomings. Humphreys, Keith. World view change in Adult Children of Alcoholics/Al-Anon self-help groups: Reconstructing the alcoholic family. International Journal of Group Psychotherapy. Vol 46(2), Apr 1996, 255-263. See also; ACOA’s have Streng... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3247080 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:15:54 +0100 3247080 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3247081&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fl9KjCMfnmxk%2F Accept “When I focus on what’s good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what’s bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases.” c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 419 See also; Abstinence-based Recovery Related Reading: (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3247081 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:24:19 +0100 3247081 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3244054&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F8GHcEl-Ava4%2F This article from PsychCentral tells the story of an elderly women who found love again and gives some pointers. Want to find love again? There’s no reason to think that you can’t find someone to love. A few simple pointers may help. Start with giving yourself a pep talk. Don’t try to replace someone you’ve lost. Let friends and acquaintances know that you are open to meeting someone special. Be honest about what you’re looking for. Consider online dating services as a way to enlarge your pool of eligible singles. Be reasonably cautious Trust your instincts. Know what you want. When you find yourself wanting to spend more time with someone who seems promising, please remember that you both already have pretty full lives. Don’t expect your adult kids to love your new love &#821... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3244054 Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:11:37 +0100 3244054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3244057&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FH46FlvSkMSk%2F Alcoholic Denial as a Psychological Defence Denial takes two major forms. First, the alcoholic insists that he or she can drink like other people – socially, normally. This means that there are always ready excuses for the exceptional times-for the fights, the arrests, the blackouts, the hangovers. It’s someone else’s fault. It’s harassment, bad luck, or just too much pressure. Secondly, the alcoholic insists that he or she is different from “real” alcoholics. Drinking alcoholics are usually experts at picturing “real” alcoholics. They’re different somehow: jobless, homeless, friendless, and usually feeble-minded. Not like themselves at all. That’s why you’ll find, if you look far enough, that the scotch and water alcoholic ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3244057 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:09:04 +0100 3244057 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3236096&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FMzMBpat_IXU%2F Anger feeds on itself What Are Anger Myths And How They Affect Us? All myths of anger give good reasons excuses for anger and aggressive behavior. Anger is an unavoidable part of being human. Anger is especially based on myths. Self-help Zone lists 5 myths that affect how we deal with anger. These are; Myth 1: Anger and aggression are natural for humans Myth 2: Frustration always leads to aggression Myth 3: Venting your anger is healthy Myth 4: Anger is always beneficial Myth 5: A person’s anger is caused by others Full story at; Self-help Zone Related Reading: (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3236096 Wed, 03 Feb 2010 02:04:32 +0100 3236096 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3239826&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fare-we-o-k-yet-4-tools-to-become-o-k-with-others%2F We are O.K. Principles of Behaviour – Relating to Others People in 12 Step recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency and compulsive gambling are learning new ways of relating to others. One of the tools that can be used is looking at the outcome of interactions between yourself and others. By using these 4 simple tools ones relationships can improve. Aggressive Behaviour When you act aggressively, you express your own feelings, thoughts and opinions without respect for the rights and needs of other people. The goal of aggressive behaviour is to dominate or win, and the effect is to make others feel humiliated, ignored or overpowered. This can leave you with the feeling: ‘I’m O.K.’ Or: ‘I’m O.K. – Your not O.K.’, and the other person with the feeling: �... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3239826 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 17:52:55 +0100 3239826 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3236104&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FFQgee-9Gc10%2F Alcoholics Anonymous members have made the Serenity prayer part of recovery. It asserts five basic elements of the recovery program. A belief in something other than ego-self Serenity – one of the goals of recovery Acceptance of …, e.g., loss of control Courage to make changes Wisdom of recovery that is gained from other members, Spirituality, meditation and literature God grant me the Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference. Whether we belong to this church or that, whether we are humanists, agnostics, or atheists, most of us have found these words a wonderful guide in getting sober, staying sober, and enjoying our sobriety. Whether we see the Serenity Prayer as an actual prayer or just as a ferven... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3236104 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:53:01 +0100 3236104 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3228013&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fco-dependent-defence-behaviours%2F Some behaviours seem to have us locked into unbreakable patterns Psychological and emotional defence mechanisms are used by all human beings and may be necessary for survival in some situations. However, people from dysfunctional families (co-dependents, adult children of alcoholics for example) may have developed defence behaviours that are increasingly dysfunctional. When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell We’ve all used defences to distance ourselves from distressing feelings and maintain a sense of emotional stability. Our defence patterns began in childhood when they prevented us from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. However, as an adult we o... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3228013 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 11:29:34 +0100 3228013 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3228014&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fcharacteristics-of-true-maturity%2F An person with true maturity - Accepts criticism gratefully. Being honestly glad for an opportunity to improve Does not indulge in self-pity. Has begun to feel the laws of compensation operating in all life. Does not expect special consideration from anyone. Controls temper. Meets emergencies with poise. Feelings are not easily hurt. Accepts the responsibility of own acts without trying to “alibi’. Has outgrown the ‘all or nothing’ stage. Recognizes that no person or situation is wholly good or wholly bad. And begins to appreciate the golden rule. Is not impatient at reasonable delays Have learned they are not the arbiter of the universe and that must often adjust to other people and their convenience Is a good loser can endure defeat and disappointment without whining or comp... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3228014 Sun, 31 Jan 2010 12:42:45 +0100 3228014 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3223492&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FOXJ56Txguc8%2F Family Recovery Family recovery is one of the keys to treatment for alcoholism. Alcoholics and alcohol abusers attract more public attention, but their families and friends also suffer long-term effects from alcoholism-and their recovery may be essential to the alcoholic’s recovery, according to a leading researcher in the field. “Alcoholism is a family disease. While it is important for the family to support the alcoholic’s recovery, it is also important for members of the family to get involved in their own recovery. Family recovery decreases the chances that the children of alcoholics will repeat the pattern and engage in unhealthy relationships,” said Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D., cofounder of the National Association for Children of Alcoholics and director of the Mid-Atla... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3223492 Sat, 30 Jan 2010 11:20:31 +0100 3223492 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3220559&cid=t_282957_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F01%2F29%2Fdo-you-refer-to-yourselves-as-we-in-a-couple%2F If you do, congratulations! You’re likely better at conflict resolution with your partner than couples who don’t refer to themselves as “we.” How do we know? Well, conversations can tell us a lot about how couples view themselves, both individually and as a couple. By analyzing conversations between couples, you can learn a lot about their interactions: UC Berkeley researchers analyzed conversations between 154 middle-aged and older couples about points of disagreement in their marriages and found that those who used pronouns such as “we,” “our” and “us” behaved more positively toward one another and showed less physiological stress. In contrast, couples who emphasized their “separateness” by using pronouns such as “I,” “me” and “you” we... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3220559 Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:02:37 +0100 3220559 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3216847&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FXYU94D3INWo%2F Focus on Acceptance In 12 Step Fellowships recovery from alcoholism, addiction or co-dependency needs many new concepts to be absorbed and acted upon. One of the most important seems to be Acceptance. “When I focus on what’s good today, I have a good day, and when I focus on what’s bad, I have a bad day. If I focus on a problem, the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases.” c. 2001, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 419 See also; What is AA? The Dry Drunk 12 Rewards of Recovery Touchstones, Daily meditations Related Reading: (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3216847 Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:45:12 +0100 3216847 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3212606&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6y5o0zhf2sg%2F Sex takes 3 to 13 minutes This story may help people who are discovering their new sexuality in recovery. Recovery from alcoholism, addiction, gambling and co-dependency is a journey of discovery of self. And, self includes ones sexuality. Maybe men had it right all along: It doesn’t take long to be satisfied in bed. A survey of sex therapists concluded the optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse was 3 to 13 minutes. The findings, to be published in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, strike at the notion that endurance is the key to a great sex life. If that sounds like good news to you, don’t cheer too loudly. The time does not count foreplay, and the therapists did rate sexual intercourse that lasts from 1 to 2 minutes as “too short.” Story Hig... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3212606 Wed, 27 Jan 2010 07:07:20 +0100 3212606 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3212611&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fb8d4aGjDTNI%2F What is the purpose of the 12 Steps? Coming into 12 Step Fellowships and recovery all people have the following focus – Me. myself and I. Imagine you have cut out the piece of glass on the dotted line and carried it around with you at all times to help keep you focused. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has a lot to say about this self focus; … Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well? Is it not evident to all the rest of the players that these are the things he wants? And do not his actions make each of them wish to retaliate, snatching all they can get out of the show? Is he not, even in his best moments, a producer of confusion rather than ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3212611 Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:13:29 +0100 3212611 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3212612&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FDMZhcodCMuU%2F Self-defeating thoughts How to Challenge your Internal Struggle Against Recovery and get off the endless staircase. Most people trying to overcome an addiction, alcoholism, gambling or co-dependency soon realize that recovery is not spontaneous. It requires discipline and patience, and therein lies the problem with recovery. Addiction’s lure is its promise of immediate gratification, the quick feel-good. Being addicted means relying on immediate gratification and, as the pattern of addiction continues, our ability to delay gratification erodes. Recovery, on the other hand, asks us to forego the quick feel-good and calls upon us to show a patience we have all but lost during our addiction. While recovery requires a physical tenacity, to bear the strain of withdrawal, it also requires ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3212612 Tue, 26 Jan 2010 01:00:37 +0100 3212612 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3208696&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fguiding-principles-of-recovery%2F Rays of hope from Recovery Summit Martin Nicolaus has written a great post on professionals finally trying to define recovery. A Recovery Summit under the auspices of the US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) convened and its report has now been released. These principles of recovery can be applied to 12 Step Fellowships, (alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency, ACOA, mental illness) and any group or 1-on-1 therapy that includes some form of self-help / mutual-help. These were called “Guiding Principles” of recovery. The principles of recovery are; There are many pathways to recovery. Recovery is self-directed and empowering. Recovery involves a personal recognition of the need for change and transformation. Recovery is holistic. Recovery has cult... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3208696 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:28:36 +0100 3208696 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3205125&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FOTfeHJ5Fto4%2F Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) If you have obsessive thoughts this means that certain words or ideas keep coming into your mind automatically. This can make you feel very anxious, particularly if the thoughts are nasty, unpleasant or frightening. For example, some people have repeated thoughts about germs causing disease or death. In order to cope with the anxiety they start to do things over and over again to get rid of the thoughts, such as washing their hands every few minutes, or reciting numbers. This is known as compulsive behaviour. People with this type of anxiety also tend to make it worse by continually checking their own thoughts. There can sometimes be a physical reason for obsessive thoughts, such as an infection, so it may be worth speaking to your doctor about this. Pa... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3205125 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 14:43:11 +0100 3205125 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3208699&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-acoa-co-dependency%2F ACOA's often feel frozen in relationships You can talk to a dozen experts, read a dozen books and get a dozen different interpretations of ACOA co-dependency. Many accept it as a disease in as much as it has an onset, is progressive, predictable and in time is potentially fatal, although other causes of death are generally cited. It is assumed that all Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) are co-dependents, but we each act out this illness in a different way.  Basically, there are two general concepts: As children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home environment, we learned to hide or divorce our feelings, our true selves (also knows as the “Inner Child”) and we adopted a survival role in order to cope with the stresses. The experts in the field of alcohol... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3208699 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:38:19 +0100 3208699 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3208700&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdance-humor-for-recovery%2F Judy recently shared the following on her Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) e-mail group. I found it so useful that I asked her to allow it to be published here. Judy readily agreed. Good morning group, When I read the daily reading on losing a sense of humour it reminded me … I had to learn to play. When I came to ACA some of the members encouraged me to play by asking what I had never done as a child that I wanted to do. I wanted to learn to roller skate and I wanted a bicycle. I went out and bought a used pair of skates and a used bike. My friends took me roller skating and held my hand around the rink until I could go it alone. It was fun but what I discovered was that what I really wanted to do was dance. I gave away my skates and took dance lessons and I’ve been dancing for... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3208700 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 00:47:13 +0100 3208700 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3201908&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpartner-enabling-of-alcoholism-2%2F Enabling is like a dam holding back responsibility Enabling is the ideas, feelings, attitudes, and behaviors that unintentionally continue to foster drinking, alcohol related problems or make matters worse by not allowing the alcoholic to deal with the consequences of their alcoholism. Enabling is part of the set of behaviors practiced by codependents of alcoholism. Researchers report that the majority of partners took over chores or duties from the alcoholic client at some point during the relationship, drank or used other drugs with the client, and lied or made excuses to others to cover for the drinker. Moreover, particular relationship beliefs were associated with higher behavioural enabling scores. Enabling Behaviors are practiced in four forms; Direct Enabling The behavior that acts ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3201908 Sun, 24 Jan 2010 03:53:00 +0100 3201908 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3201910&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fspirituality-is-universal%2F Spirituality lies at the heart of every person A small circle of men listened attentively as their counsellor at a mission in St. Paul announced their assignment. Their faces might have belonged to anyone–professionals with post-graduate degrees or homeless individuals who constantly struggle. But they were late-stage, chronic alcoholics, the kind who huddle beneath city bridges in the December cold or who simply revolve through local detox centers and shelters. All were searching for a reason to hope. A week earlier, the counsellor had asked each of them to write a prayer. Everyone managed to come up with something, except one. The counsellor asked if he had written something, and the man shook his head and stared dismally at the floor. Years on the street immersed in alcohol and g... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3201910 Sat, 23 Jan 2010 09:02:22 +0100 3201910 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3201912&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-a-a-member-medications-and-other-drugs%2F Alcoholics Anonymous is a program for alcoholics who seek freedom from alcohol. It is not a program against drugs. However, some A.A. members have misused drugs, often as a substitute for alcohol, in such a manner as to become a threat to the achievement and maintenance of sobriety. These incidents have caused all A.A. members to be concerned with what is popularly known as the “pill problem.” A report from a group of physicians in A.A. Because this subject is one which goes deeply into the field of medicine, a group of physicians who are members of A.A. was asked to help prepare this pamphlet. The experience of some A.A. members reveals that drug misuse can threaten the achievement and maintenance of sobriety. Yet some A.A. members must take prescribed medication in order to treat cer... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3201912 Sat, 23 Jan 2010 08:36:59 +0100 3201912 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3197840&cid=t_282957_135_f&fid=35274&url=http%3A%2F%2Facidrefluxweb.com%2F%3Fp%3D4317 Oh boy, It’s been a difficult week. And I have to speak to a twelve-step group tonight for the very first time ever. There has been one thing I have learned in recovery is that I now have a new inner intelligence. I wish that intelligence would kick in sooner than later, nonetheless it kicked in, and I had to listen to what it was telling me. This time before proceeding in an irrational way in dealing with a difficult decision I decided to speak to all the “sponsors” I have in my life, not just within a twelve-step program, but outside as well. I have been blessed with having important pivotal relationships in my life. Each of these individuals has been friends and mentors in various aspects of my life. One by one I consulted, and reflected on what was in the best interest of myself ... acidrefluxweb.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3197840 Fri, 22 Jan 2010 15:12:36 +0100 3197840 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3200667&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FPreUvLXkWn0%2F Acceptance People in 12 Step Fellowships often struggle with acceptance. Not just acceptance of powerlessness over their disease but many other things as well. God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. –Reinhold Niebuhr Some things I cannot change I need to accept as is: my age, who my relatives are, my eye color, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my nature, someone else’s abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun will shine, my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel, yesterday’s lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me, how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past. Some things I can change: the ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3200667 Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:54:41 +0100 3200667 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3200668&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F_yYhzB39yro%2F My sponsor gave me the following 10th and 11th step inventory and told me to write it out every evening before I go to bed. The Twelve Nightly Spiritually Focusing Questions 1. Was I resentful? 2. Was I selfish? 3. Was I dishonest? 4. Was I afraid? 5. Do I owe an apology? Who did I help today? 6. What have I kept secret? 7. Was I unkind? (cruel, harsh, unfeeling) 8. Was I unloving? (cold, unresponsive, indifferent) 9. What could I have done better? What am I grateful for today? 10. Was I thinking of myself most of the time? 11. Was I thinking of what I could do for others? Who needs my prayers today? 12. Was I thinking what I could pack into the stream of life? But we are careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3200668 Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:42:23 +0100 3200668 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3197895&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fprocrastination-is-only-a-habit%2F Without discipline, there’s no life at all. –Katharine Hepburn Procrastination is habitual. It’s perhaps a habit we’ve struggled with over the years, and not one that can be willed away. It eats at us, no doubt. How many times have we gone to bed at night depressed, discouraged, and angry with ourselves for not finishing a job we promised ourselves, or someone else, we’d do! Sometimes it feels hopeless. The tasks awaiting our attention pile up, seem impossible to complete. But there is hope. The program has offered us an easy solution. We have only this day to concern ourselves with. We can break the spell of procrastination, lethargy, immobility, if we choose. We can pick a task that needs attention, any task, preferably a small one for today. Maybe it’... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3197895 Thu, 21 Jan 2010 08:17:09 +0100 3197895 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189410&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fr3Dt1vRoHK8%2F Sexual dysfunction can be so lonely Sexual Dysfunction and Recovery Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, co-dependency, compulsive gambling and adult children of alcoholics may identify with some of these. Sexuality may be very different in recovery and some people may have many questions about their sexual functions. Sexual dysfunction is the persistent or recurrent inability to react emotionally or physically to sexual stimulation in a way expected of the average healthy person or according to one’s own standards of acceptable sexual response. Sexual dysfunction can occur during the desire, excitement, plateau, or orgasm stage of the sexual response cycle. For example, one of the most common dysfunctions is inhibited arousal during the excitement stage. This presents as ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189410 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:46:53 +0100 3189410 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189411&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F5ZZcMwXlR9o%2F Wellbriety – Continuing a Legacy of Resistance … Implementing a Vision for Healing Wellbriety means to be both sober and well. It’s a word translating a term from the language of the Passamaquoddy Nation of Maine as given by an elder in the mid 1990s. It describes a natural evolution of the recovery process. The Wellbriety Movement among Native Americans is a direct descendent of the modern Native sobriety movement that began in the 1950s and continues to change and grow even today. “I went to a sobriety meeting in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the early 1980s and there was a guy named Harold Belmont there who had a smudge. I was going, ‘What is this? What is this?’ It was controversial because it was very early sobriety for Indian people and there were sober people prese... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189411 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 12:16:35 +0100 3189411 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189413&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F9vrGHTij_so%2F This article puts to rest some of the guilt and shame generating myths that we may have in our heads. Masturbation still gets a bad rap in society, probably because it is a private behavior rarely shared or discussed in public with even the closest of friends. But masturbation is a normal part of sexuality in people, even if they are involved in a relationship with another person. In this article we answer the top ten myths regarding masturbation. Does masturbation cause blindness? Do spouses continue to masturbate after marriage? Why are people so embarrassed about masturbation? Why do women often have trouble reaching orgasm during intercourse? How much masturbation is too much? What do I tell my “touchy” toddler? Will eating Kellogg’s cornflakes make me stop doing it? Is shower m... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189413 Tue, 19 Jan 2010 23:57:04 +0100 3189413 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189414&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6yp9ytTXQ5I%2F It is important to put the responsibility for dealing with the alcohol problem squarely on the person in question while continuing to love him or her. What works depends on the individual. Doing the “right” thing can depend on how severe the alcohol problem is and on how in touch with it the person in question seems to be. What works for someone who is highly functional in daily life and who knows that alcohol is causing trouble, for instance, may not be the solution for someone who denies that there is a problem. Don’t make it easy for the drinker to keep on drinking Discontinuing “enabling,” along with putting the onus for the drinker’s behavior and its consequences on the drinker. Do not cover up for them. Let them be responsible for their actions. Accept yo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189414 Tue, 19 Jan 2010 05:14:00 +0100 3189414 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189416&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZdOs3r5afxQ%2F Self-care. The bike is waiting! Self-care is about setting boundaries, letting go “Some of us have so many voices in our heads, we could hold group therapy by ourselves,” said Rokelle Lerner, a popular speaker and trainer on relationships, women’s issues, and addicted family systems. This internal chorus is often composed of voices from our family of origin, voices of critical teachers or bosses, voices from past relationships or current situations. Often these voices are drowned out by our own voice nagging, reprimanding, berating, but rarely praising us. In times of stress or chaos, the voices grow louder and it’s easy to go numb, Lerner recently told the audience at Hazelden’s Women Healing Conference in Minneapolis. “We become estranged from our pur... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189416 Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:51:00 +0100 3189416 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3185637&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fworried-about-his-drinking%2F As a co-dependent I always felt that my loved one’s drinking was a terrible reflection on me, and I worried about what people thought. One day he told me he wanted to get sober. I was elated for a day, until his next relapse into a binge. Then I was devastated. Some months later, my loved one finally did go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Two days later, the drinking began again. The most important thing I’ve learned in Al-Anon since then is that my well-being cannot depend upon whether or not the alcoholic drinks. His behavior is not a reflection of me, it’s a reflection of his disease. However, my behavior is a reflection of me, and I owe it to myself to pay attention to what it has to tell me. I have to take care of myself. I have to accept that alcoholism is a disease, which... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3185637 Mon, 18 Jan 2010 00:23:43 +0100 3185637 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3182376&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FeK2YrNIPO7k%2F People can be isolated by dysfunctional beliefs People can have many dysfunctional beliefs. Not all of these are in any one person but if there is many then that person may be dysfunctional. Alcoholics, addicts, co-dependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify. Some of these dysfunctional beliefs are; That I can control my emotions. That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts. That I deserve: . . .to get something good. . . .to get something bad. . . .to be punished for mistakes. . . .to be rewarded for perfection. . . .to be rewarded for good behaviour, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever. That I can “make” sense out of anything. That I am responsible for . . .for achieving other peoples success. . . .for other people&#82... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3182376 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 10:59:25 +0100 3182376 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3180408&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F2-days%2F There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension. One of these days is Yesterday with all its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone forever. The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow. with all its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow’s sun will rise either in splendour or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow, for it is yet ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3180408 Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:10:23 +0100 3180408 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3180411&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmilitary-families-alcoholism%2F Al-Anon/Alateen Helps Military Families Recent published reports show that heavy drinking has increased in the military. What data is not shown are the effects of this drinking on others. For 55 years family members and friends of alcoholics have found help and hope in Al-Anon meetings. There are meetings held on or near military bases in the US, Canada, and around the world. Al-Anon provides a safe, confidential, and free place for military families to share with and learn from other family members and friends of problem drinkers. The latest Al-Anon/Alateen Membership Survey (completed in November 2003) shows that 25 percent of Al-Anon members and 29 percent of teen members surveyed have a relationship with a problem drinker on active duty in the military. An additional six percent have a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3180411 Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:45:16 +0100 3180411 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3176130&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FTf1Ojhr09Ac%2F Recovery through the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Sgt. Bill S., used a one word summary to describe the basic principle (as he saw it) behind each of the 12 Steps, when he was giving talks to military personnel about alcoholism at Lackland in San Antonio, Texas, during the 1950’s and later on in California. In the [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3176130 Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:11:00 +0100 3176130 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3172209&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FrubghhGQVUk%2F Detachment with love takes on deeper meaning One of the great gifts of the addiction recovery movement is the concept of detachment with love. Originally conceived as a way to relate to an alcoholic family member, detachment with love is actually a tool that we can apply with anyone. Al-Anon, a Twelve Step mutual-help group for friends [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3172209 Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:01:57 +0100 3172209 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3172210&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F-upWgFjik1Q%2F I encourage everyone IF you really want to see those beautiful changes occurring in ALL your relationships, work the steps! (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3172210 Wed, 13 Jan 2010 22:15:50 +0100 3172210 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3167458&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fry6nx8tD5gM%2F How to recognize the signs of addiction to sex Addiction to sexual activities can be just as destructive as addiction to chemical substances. Sex addicts may jeopardize their marriage and family relationships, allow their job performance to deteriorate, and endanger themselves and their partner through multiple sexual exposures. Even though they realize the consequences, they cannot control [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3167458 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:06:00 +0100 3167458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3167459&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FsfZAypKxf6U%2F Balance, the gray area of life (most of life!), doesn’t come easily to us. (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3167459 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:01:21 +0100 3167459 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3167460&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FQhVfZeBtE8Y%2F “My sponsor was a living damper on my intolerance. But even more, he told me that it would be all right for me to doubt God, that A.A. was not a religious program and, to belong, I did not have to adhere to any set of beliefs. “He suggested that for me a good starting point [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3167460 Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:01:09 +0100 3167460 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3164051&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FMariYUL9n70%2F Some Gifts of becoming clean and sober We’ll be amazed at and proud of changes we make We’ll be freer and happier than we could imagine Our mistakes won’t haunt us We’ll feel calmer and more confident What we’ve been through will help us help others We’ll stop feeling stupid and sorry for ourselves We’ll be more considerate of our friends and [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3164051 Mon, 11 Jan 2010 16:41:35 +0100 3164051 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3164054&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FwfLNfbvIMrc%2F What is emotional abuse or verbal abuse of a spouse or intimate partner? Mental, psychological, or emotional abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. Verbal or nonverbal abuse of a spouse or intimate partner consists of more subtle actions or behaviors than physical abuse. While physical abuse might seem worse, the scars of verbal and emotional abuse [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3164054 Mon, 11 Jan 2010 15:35:23 +0100 3164054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3164057&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fskr3BwGQku8%2F DEFENSES to PROGRESS in Recovery and Living If, instead of being honest, we respond without naming a feeling, we are hiding. The ways we hide our feelings are many, and we call them defences. Each defence prevents us from being known. These behaviours are typically practiced by alcoholics, addicts, co-dependents, adult children of alcoholics, compulsive gamblers, sex [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3164057 Sun, 10 Jan 2010 15:16:18 +0100 3164057 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3153646&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FgLjxNqqhWPs%2F On his desk Dr Bob (pictured at left), a cofounder of AA, had a plaque defining humility “‘As Dr. Bob said…:’” Humility is … ‘Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against [...] (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3153646 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:34:39 +0100 3153646 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3153648&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FQVk4bhdk2Ys%2F What can you do to help a friend or family member who is a self-injurer? (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3153648 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:33:59 +0100 3153648 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3153650&cid=t_282957_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FQhE9pUK_mtU%2F The biggest obstacle to treatment of alcoholism is getting the alcoholic to break through the denial that is a hallmark of this condition (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3153650 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 13:08:02 +0100 3153650