MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'codependency'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:31:33 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5182331&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-does-letting-go-mean%2F Let go as they fall “To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means ’I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, its the realization I can’t control another human. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself To let go is not to care for, but to care about. To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies. To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reali... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5182331 Wed, 31 Aug 2011 17:16:04 +0100 5182331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159848&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F8-common-questions-about-sex%2F Alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents in recovery may experience an awakening sexuality. Some of these questions may help. Sex therapist Laura Berman reveals the answers to your most intimate questions and shows you how to spice up your sex life. It happens at my speaking engagements, of course, but also at cocktail parties and PTA meetings, even in department stores: People who’ve learned that I’m a sex therapist have tons of questions for me. Some just want to hear more about what I do, but most are concerned with very specific issues — things they’ve been wondering about but haven’t felt comfortable asking (until they run into me shopping for shoes!). I’m happy to answer, if time and the setting permit. Not only does it keep life interesting, but it als... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159848 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:16:59 +0100 5159848 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5131058&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-of-dysfunctional-parents%2F Recently I published an article about Children of Hoarders an issue I was unaware of until I accidentaly stumbled upon their website. There was a large response to this article. It seems there are similarities between Children of Hoarders and Children of Alcoholism (ACOA). It highlighted my need to become aware of other groups of children with similar problems. Are there other similar ‘children of ……….’ conditions? Does the same pattern of psychological illness appear in these children of ……..? Do some of these children become codependent? Some that I can think of are children of …; Drug addicts Compulsive gamblers Mental health sufferers Sex addicts Workaholics Religious sects I’m particularly interested in self-help, mutual-help type groups or organisations as well as... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5131058 Sun, 14 Aug 2011 08:43:36 +0100 5131058 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103517&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fco-dependent-relapse%2F A Checklist of Symptoms Leading to Co-dependent Relapse: Co-dependent : A Person who has let someone else’s behavior affect him or her and is obsessed with controlling others behaviour Denial Patterns: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling I minimize, alter, or deny how I truly feel. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others. Low Self-esteem Patterns: I have difficulty making decisions. I judge everything I think, say, or do harshly, as never “good enough.” I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings, and behaviors over my own. I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person. Compliance Patterns: I c... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103517 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 15:48:00 +0100 5103517 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5103518&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsex-for-recovery-after-40%2F Variety can be the spice of intercourse Recovery from alcoholism, addiction, gambling or co-dependency is common for people in their forth decade. Often sexuality in relationships has been absent or troubled. This may be true for straight, gays or lesbians. Too many men and women in long-term relationships lament that “the thrill is gone” but often don’t understand why. Some blame themselves or their partners or tell themselves that sexual boredom is as inevitable a part of growing older as wrinkles and reading glasses. It doesn’t have to be that way. And here’s why: To coin a cliché, variety can be the spice of intercourse. There are many kinds of sex play, but here let’s consider intercourse and different ways to do it — that is, experiment with positions. This doesn’t m... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5103518 Sat, 06 Aug 2011 06:12:48 +0100 5103518 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5097101&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F24-workplace-actions-of-acoas%2F Adult Children of Alcoholism / Addiction in the Workplace ACOA’s often transfer behaviour learned in childhood into other adult spheres of life. In true co-dependency style these often confuse and confound us. Some of these are; We confuse our boss or supervisor with our alcoholic parents and have similar relationship patterns, behaviors, and reactions that are carryovers from childhood. We confuse our co-workers with our siblings or our alcoholic parents and repeat childhood reactions in those working relationships. We expect lavish praise and acknowledgment from our boss for our efforts on the job. Authority figures scare us and we feel afraid when we need to talk to them. We get a negative gut reaction when dealing with someone who has the physical characteristics or mannerisms ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5097101 Thu, 04 Aug 2011 05:47:09 +0100 5097101 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5078041&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fteens-its-not-your-fault%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!   Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5078041 Fri, 29 Jul 2011 04:07:53 +0100 5078041 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5051245&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdifferent-types-of-stress-in-recovery%2F People in 12 Step Fellowships need to be aware of the different types of stress that can affect their recovery. What are the different types of stress? Acute stress Acute stress is the most common and most recognizable form of stress, the kind of sudden jolt in which you know exactly why you’re stressed: you were just in a car accident; the school nurse just called; a bear just ambled onto your campsite. Or it can be something scary but thrilling, such as a parachute jump. Along with obvious dangers and threats, common causes of acute stressors include noise, isolation, crowding, and hunger. Normally, your body rests when these types of stressful events cease and your life gets back to normal. Because the effects are short-term, acute stress usually doesn’t cause severe or permanent... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5051245 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 13:51:54 +0100 5051245 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5051246&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwater-wisdom-2%2F This article may help establish a starting point that you can adjust to suit your specific needs. You’ve heard all the advice: Drink eight glasses of water a day. Stay properly hydrated while exercising. Sports drinks aren’t just for professional athletes. Yet you’re still unsure whether you’re drinking the right amount for good health. How much fluid should you really be taking in daily? Do you need to add extra when you’re physically active? And is too much water dangerous? Everyone’s body needs water. We lose it by sweating, excretion, or simply not taking in enough through foods—like fruits and vegetables—and drinks. Mild dehydration (losing less than two percent of your body weight due to inadequate fluids) can cause health problems, includin... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5051246 Wed, 20 Jul 2011 08:33:57 +0100 5051246 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029221&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecovery-self-awareness%2F Meditating Mindfulness for Recovery Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. It has been adapted for use in treatment of depression, especially preventing relapse and for assisting with mood regulation. Mindfulness has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are, i.e. non-judgementally. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention in depression and has been found to have considerable health benefits. These exercises are designed to introduce the principles and can be used by anyone recovering from a mood altering disease such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling, food problems, addiction, codependency or adult children of alcoholics.. If you let cloudy water s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029221 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 00:01:05 +0100 5029221 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5029222&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbeyond-co-dependency%2F : And Getting Better All the Time By Melody Beattie A book for any one who has had a relationship with an alcohol, addict or compulsive gambler. Adult Children of Alcoholism / addiction, wives, husbands, parents &etc. Review By Neal J. Pollock (VA USA) While I have not read Melody Beattie’s other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the obvious signs of co-dependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship. I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards co-dependency, but there may also be peopl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5029222 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:47:07 +0100 5029222 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4953373&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F12-steps-for-a-sponsor%2F Twelve Steps of SponsorshipThese can be applied to all 12-Step anonymous fellowships such as Al-anon, Alateen, Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous etcI will not help you to stay and wallow in limbo.I will help you to grow, to become more productive, by your definition.I will help you become more autonomous, more loving of yourself, more excited, less sensitive, more free to become the authority for your own living.I cannot give you dreams or “fix you up” simply because I cannot.I cannot give you growth, or grow for you. You must grow for yourself by facing reality, grim as it may be at times.I cannot take away your loneliness or your pain.I cannot sense your world for you, evaluate your goals for you, tell you what is best for your world; because you have your... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4953373 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:36:13 +0100 4953373 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893923&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstages-in-the-alcoholic-family%2F Chaos in alcoholic familiesA family with an alcohol in its midst will go through several stages in dealing with the chaos and disruption caused by the alcoholic. These stages are described below in order of appearance.Denial: Early in the development of alcoholism, occasional episodes of excessive drinking are explained away by both marriage partners. Drinking because of tiredness, worry, or a bad day is not unbelievable. The assumption is that the episode is isolated and is, therefore, not a problem.Attempts to Eliminate the Problem:The non-alcoholic spouse realizes that the drinking is not normal and tries to pressure the alcoholic to quit, be more careful, or cut down. At the same time, the spouse tries to hide the problems from the outside and keep up a good.front. Children may start t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893923 Fri, 03 Jun 2011 19:03:25 +0100 4893923 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872481&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Ffht-X0H6iyI%2F It’s Not Your Fault! Hi!  Are you worried that your Mom or Dad drinks too much or uses drugs? You are right to be concerned— about their safety and health, about what will happen to you, about their embarrassing you or criticizing you unfairly, about breaking promises, about driving under the influence, and about lots of other things that create unpredictability and confusion. While you cannot stop your parent from drinking or using drugs, you can take steps to make things better for yourself. Facts You Should Know… One in four youth under age 18 lives in a family where a person abuses alcohol or suffers from alcoholism. Countless others are affected by a family member’s use of drugs. Remember: You are not alone. Lots of teens are in your situation and it’s important to addr... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872481 Mon, 09 May 2011 15:34:00 +0100 4872481 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872487&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F44G-oFFWOsQ%2F A classic recovery book for adult children of alcoholics.Have you ever said that to yourself? Or, I’ll never be like …? First published 20 years ago, It Will Never Happen to Me is the definitive book/workbook for adult children of alcoholics. With her reassuring and informative approach, Claudia Black expertly identifies common issues faced by children who grew up in alcoholic families–shame, neglect, unreasonable role expectations, and physical abuse. Using narratives and profiles, she describes survival techniques characteristic of children raised in alcoholic families, including the unspoken laws of don’t talk, don’t trust, and don’t feel. First explaining how such learned responses cause difficulties in adulthood, Black carefully guides readers in identifyi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872487 Fri, 06 May 2011 15:50:00 +0100 4872487 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872488&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fh-94W9hbtX8%2F Mature sexualityMen in their 50s have more satisfying sex lives than men in their 30sMen in their fifties are more satisfied with their sex lives than men in their thirties and forties, recording similar levels to 20-29 year-olds, according to a survey published in the February issue of BJU International.A team of experts from Norway and the USA surveyed 1,185 men aged between 20 and 79, asking them about various aspects of their sex life, including drive, erections and ejaculation.They found that although there was a strong relationship between a man’s advancing age and his declining sex drive and ability to have an erection and ejaculate, there wasn’t such a strong link between age and overall sexual satisfaction.The men who responded to the Norwegian postal questionnaire wer... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872488 Thu, 05 May 2011 17:18:01 +0100 4872488 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4872489&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F0G0MuxtzXeI%2F Two recovery books in one.Detachment and Enabling combines the two classic, user-friendly texts designed for loved ones, codependents, of chemically dependent people.After you have done all you can to help an alcoholic/ addict and he or she continues to drink or use, it’s time to detach. Detachment tells us how we can continue to love someone who is chemically dependent and, at the same time, no longer focus on that person’s behavior. It is about taking back our lives. Enabling describes the problems we can encounter when we focus on the alcoholic or addict in order to keep peace at any price. The authors encourage us to consider if we are really helping the alcoholic or ourselves when we prevent the alcoholic from feeling the true consequences of his or her actions.- Order to... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4872489 Thu, 05 May 2011 17:18:00 +0100 4872489 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4762939&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdrop-the-rock%2F A recovery book to extend sobriety by addressing;Resentment. Fear. Self-Pity. Intolerance. Anger. This cast of character defects will undermine the best-laid plans for recovery from addiction, alcoholism or codependency. It’s not uncommon for individuals in recovery to hang on to negative, self-defeating behaviors after they’ve given up their addiction. These are the “rocks” that can sink sobriety – or, at the least, block further progress. With more than 100,000 copies sold, Drop the Rock is the definitive guide to removing character defects that can prevent gratifying, long-standing recovery. Based on the Twelve Step program, particularly the principles behind Steps Six and Seven, Drop the Rock combines personal stories, practical advice, and powerful insig... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4762939 Thu, 28 Apr 2011 16:40:05 +0100 4762939 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4762940&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstay-on-the-beam%2F Just for Today – Stay on the Beam“Today most commercial flying is done on a radio beam. A directional beam is produced to guide the pilot to his destination, and as long as he keeps on this beam he knows that he is safe, even if he cannot see around him for fog, or get his bearings in any other way.As soon as he gets off the beam in any direction he is in danger, and he immediately tries to get back on to the beam once more.Those who believe in the All-ness of a Higher Power, have a spiritual beam upon which to navigate on the voyage of life. As long as you have peace of mind and some sense of the Presence of God you are on the beam, and you are safe, even if outer things seem to be confused or even very dark; but as soon as you get off the beam you are in danger.You are off th... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4762940 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:45:07 +0100 4762940 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4759045&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecovery-burnout%2F This article may help you think about the issues involved.Burnout is subtle. It creeps up on you slowly. How do you know if you are burning out?I know well the face of burnout. I found myself questioning my motives, feeling guilty, and being greatly misunderstood. Sometimes I was shamed for not “working the program!”What are the signs of burnout?As a professional counsellor I have researched burnout. According to the best research available on the subject there are three aspects of burnout:1. Perception of Inequity/Unfairness/InjusticeWhen you start to feel like you are getting the short end of the deal, being mistreated, under-appreciated, the program is not working for you… You may be burning out.2. Emotional ExhaustionWhen you start to run out of emotional gas you know something i... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4759045 Fri, 22 Apr 2011 15:59:02 +0100 4759045 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4724270&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Faffirmations-for-recovery%2F On Becoming Your Own Loving ParentAffirmations to be Repeated Each DayThese affirmations apply to recovering addicts, alcoholics, co-dependents, adult children of alcoholics / addicts and anyone working for recovery from a dysfunctional upbringing.Affirmations with other recovery program work are a powerful tool for addressing our critical nature toward ourselves and others. These affirmations represent the basic truths that most of us did not receive as children, but we can claim as adults. Read these affirmations out loud for several weeks.  You may also write down some of them and post them where you can read them. With affirmations, we begin to change our inner Critical Parent.  We learn to give ourselves a break.It is okay to know who I am.It is okay to trust ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4724270 Sun, 17 Apr 2011 16:32:00 +0100 4724270 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4684770&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fcoping-depression-in-adult-children-of-alcoholics%2F Coping Behavior and Depressive Symptoms in Adult Children of AlcoholicsThis research examined whether adult children of alcoholics (ACOAs) would report more depressive mood symptoms as compared to non-ACOAs, whether coping behaviors differed as a function of ACOA status, and whether specific coping behaviors were related to depressive mood symptoms in ACOAs.Participants were 136 college students categorized as ACOAs and 436 college students categorized as non-ACOAs.As compared to non-ACOAs, ACOAs reported significantly more symptoms of depressive mood.On the COPE Inventory, ACOAs reported higher use of the following coping strategies:Withdrawal and defend themselves physically, cognitively and emotionally,Denial,Focus on Venting of Emotions,Humor, andSubstance Use.For both the ACOA and non... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4684770 Tue, 05 Apr 2011 14:51:08 +0100 4684770 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4677117&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F6-sex-slip-ups-men-make%2F Expert sex tips for men who have sex with women.After learning the facts of life — most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.Addicts, alcoholics and co-dependents may also have developed habits counter to good sexual relations. These few tips may help in recovery.You Know What She WantsMen often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they’ve done with other women. But women aren’t all the same.You Have All She NeedsSome women can’t have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think somet... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4677117 Mon, 04 Apr 2011 16:42:00 +0100 4677117 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4549941&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstress-relief%2F Guide to Stress Relief.Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, gambling and co-dependency have diminished or lost ability to cope with stress. Due to the anethetising effects of alcohol and drugs many people also do not recognise that they are under stress – they just feel uncomfortable, angry, or sad.Untreated stress can lead to relapse.Stress is bad, right? Or is it good? Well, if you talk to the experts, they’ll say both are true. You need some stress to just get out of bed in the morning. And when you drive to work in your car, you need stress to stay alert and respond to what is in front of you. So stress has its place.  But what if a high level of stress goes on and on? The doctors tell us that ongoing stress becomes Chronic Stress. Chronic Stress is bad news. It... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4549941 Sat, 05 Mar 2011 10:30:56 +0100 4549941 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4545258&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frosebud-and-the-12-steps%2F Having been ship wrecked by the sea of alcoholism, Rosebud hits rock bottom and lands in the Cocoon where she makes astounding discoveries by finding the Twelve Steps.On an island far away Meggy Snail and Miranda Starfish hike to a mountain top where they converse with the Talking Tree of Hope, spend nights under the stars and attend a camp fire meeting filled with colorful characters.Rosebud later discovers treasures beneath the sand in ribbon wrapped boxes.The difficult subject of alcoholism is illuminated in a new and creative way through fantasy creatures and their separate journeys.The second section of the book gives insight into the Al-Anon program through the author’s personal journey.Not only are meetings described but her lessons learned may help the reader look within.In a... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4545258 Thu, 03 Mar 2011 16:12:00 +0100 4545258 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4528016&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fnarcissism-in-a-bottle%2F : The Self Centerdness of Addiction | RecoveryView.com.Over the years I have listened to a sort of running monologue from clients who grew up with an addicted parent. It goes something like this: “I felt like it was all about them, like what was going on inside of me was sort of invisible, like what they wanted or needed always came first.” They go on and on describing a family dynamic that circulated around the immediate needs of the addict. They talk about how they often found themselves staying quiet and well behaved so as not to disturb a drunk or hung-over parent or bring a torrent of anger down on them. They also describe a world in which their other parent was constantly over-burdened; hiding the extent of the problem and working double time to make the family seem “normal”.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4528016 Mon, 28 Feb 2011 07:52:36 +0100 4528016 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4512621&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F9-problems-that-affect-sexual-satisfaction%2F While alcoholics, addicts and co-dependents may know of the effects of alcohol and drugs on their sexuality, in recovery there may be other conditions affecting their sex lives.Here’s the good news, the bad news, and some more good news about sexual health: Most (64 percent of people, according to one recent study) are satisfied with their sex lives. But many health issues can get in the way of having a good sex life, from prescription medication side effects to depression to sexually transmitted diseases.In many cases, physicians can work with their patients to improve the situation, whether by changing the dosage of a medication, helping to treat depression or other medical conditions, or by providing sound medical advice for people who have STDs."For people who are not satisf... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4512621 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 16:13:00 +0100 4512621 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4495440&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fenhance-your-romance%2F This study suggests that if your romantic relationship has a case of the doldrums, having fun with another couple may help make your own relationship more satisfying,” said Slatcher.To review the full study, visit When Harry and Sally met Dick and JaneRelated articlesHealthy & Unhealthy Friendships in Sobriety (recoveryissexy.com)Hazelden’s Jewellery & Gifts Page Healthy Friendships A Lifeline to Sobriety (recoveryissexy.com)Romance and To Thine Own Self be True (recoveryissexy.com) Share, print or e-mail this articleA Kiss Is A Kiss – Or Is It?It’s the Little ThingsSexual Recovery Anonymous (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4495440 Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:23:00 +0100 4495440 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489985&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEsEBu0zngAk%2F These symptoms and characteristics of the thoughts and actions of a codependent are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation.Denial Symptoms: I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.Low Self Esteem Symptoms: I have difficulty making decisions.I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.”I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.I value others approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.Compliance Symptoms: I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others anger... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489985 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:02 +0100 4489985 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489986&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZa0qJUk3-VE%2F Stop Enabling the AlcoholicDiscontinuing “enabling,” along with putting the onus for the drinker’s behavior and its consequences on the drinker.Do not cover up for them. Let them be responsible for their actions.Accept your responsibility, if any, for enabling, and then transfer 100 percent of the responsibility back to the alcoholic once you have talked it over.He or she is then unable to use you as an excuse.Enabling includes protecting the problem drinker from the negative consequences of alcohol use. After all, if someone makes excuses when you miss appointments because of drinking too much, reheats dinner because you’ve missed it after stopping at the bar on the way home from work, readily has sex with you even if you’re drunk, or lends you money every time you lose your job... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489986 Tue, 15 Feb 2011 15:17:00 +0100 4489986 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4464708&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdefence-denial-mechanisms%2F Denial is Hazy ThinkingAlcoholics, addicts and co-dependents use many and varied combinations of these. Identify yours and work to eliminate them.When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us – Alexander Graham BellDefence and denial mechanisms are used by all human beings and may be necessary for survival in some situations.We’ve all used defences and denial to distance ourselves from distressing feelings and maintain a sense of emotional stability. Our defence and denial patterns began in childhood when they prevented us from becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. However, as an adult we outgrow their usefulness. If we continue to use outgrown defences or denial, we are more... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4464708 Thu, 10 Feb 2011 14:56:01 +0100 4464708 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4455490&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fself-esteem-myths%2F This article and the book may help debunk some of the myths of self-esteem and aid recovery.Self esteem is a woman’s issue;Self esteem is the same as confidence;Self esteem is the end goal;Self esteem comes from something outside of yourself, e.g., right man (or woman), lots of money, living in the right neighborhood, our parents;We are born with self esteem;Self esteem is all about how we look.The truth is self esteem is NOT the same as confidence, we are NOT born with it, we CAN’T get it from our mothers or husbands or jobs, men and women BOTH suffer from this malady, it’s not the destination—it’s the journey.The most compelling and truthful statement about self esteem is what I have discovered from years of hard knocks and even more years of hard work is that self esteem comes... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4455490 Wed, 09 Feb 2011 14:14:28 +0100 4455490 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4439026&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecognizing-co-dependency%2F Alcoholism may be a disease of isolation, but it is rarely an individual problem. Understanding how "enabling" works is the first step in helping both the alcoholic and the co-dependent seek help.Enabling is any action by another person or an institution that intentionally or unintentionally has the effect of facilitating the continuation of an individual’s addictive process.Who Is An Enabler? Most often, enablers are persons who genuinely care about the alcoholic — family, friends, co-workers, clergy.Their love and concern, unfortunately, often leads them to do things that actually help the alcoholic stay that way.They "cover" for the alcoholic, inventing excuses for absenteeism, tardiness, or inappropriate behavior.They "save" the alcoholic by taking... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4439026 Sat, 05 Feb 2011 15:12:00 +0100 4439026 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4436946&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Flack-of-sleep-in-recovery%2F Image via Wikipedia Click to enlargeWhat Lack of Sleep Does to Your MindPeople in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency may need to address all aspects of health – including sleep.One catch cry of recovery is; HALT – Don’t get too HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY or TIRED.Sleepiness can damage your judgment, work performance, mood, and safety.Do you often forget things that you’re sure you know? Is it hard to concentrate on complex assignments? Do you get less than six hours of sleep a night?If so, you’re probably not getting enough sleep. That’s right; lack of sleep can hinder you from thinking clearly and keeping your emotions at an even keel. Studies show that excessive sleepiness can hurt work performance, wreak havoc on relationships, and lead to mood prob... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4436946 Fri, 04 Feb 2011 15:50:00 +0100 4436946 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4429230&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Falateens-purpose-2%2F Cover via AmazonAlateen is part of Al-Anon, which helps families and friends of alcoholics recover from the effects of living with the problem drinking of a relative or friend. Alateen is a recovery program for young people. Alateen groups are sponsored by Al-Anon members.The program of recovery is adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous and is based upon the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, and the Twelve Concepts of Service.The only requirement of membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend.Al-Anon/Alateen is not affiliated with any other organization or outside entity.What Alateen members learncompulsive drinking is a disease.they can detach themselves emotionally from the drinker’s problems while continuing to love the person.they are not the cause of anyone... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4429230 Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:04:36 +0100 4429230 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4411729&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ffaith-in-something%2F Something Greater than MeA Glacier Melts“A.A. provided for me a means by which I could overcome the compulsion to drink and, more important, a means by which I could achieve a personality change or spiritual awakening-a surrender to life. Though I have had problems and deep troubles since that summer ten years ago, my faith has not been shaken. I cannot say that I have found God as I understand Him, but rather that I have faith in Something which remains a mystery to me and which I continue to seek. – Fresno, California, USA”AAWS, Inc.; Came to Believe, 2004, pg. 59Originally posted 2009-12-23 12:37:08. Share, print or e-mail this articleAction and Patience (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4411729 Thu, 27 Jan 2011 15:40:01 +0100 4411729 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4399832&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-reasons-for-change-stagnation%2F Image via Wikipedia“We must become the change we want to see.” Mahatma GandhiTop Ten Reasons for Change Resistance, Rebellion or Objection. In alcoholics, addicts or co-dependents these may be deliberate or subconscious – part of the denial syndrome.THE RISK OF CHANGE IS SEEN AS GREATER THAN THE RISK OF STANDING STILLPEOPLE FEEL CONNECTED TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE IDENTIFIED WITH THE OLD WAYPEOPLE HAVE NO ROLE MODELS FOR THE NEW ACTIVITYPEOPLE FEAR THEY LACK THE COMPETENCE TO CHANGEPEOPLE FEEL OVERLOADED AND OVERWHELMEDPEOPLE HAVE A HEALTHY SKEPTICISM AND WANT TO BE SURE NEW IDEAS ARE SOUNDPEOPLE FEAR HIDDEN AGENDAS AMONG WOULD-BE REFORMERSPEOPLE FEEL THE PROPOSED CHANGE THREATENS THEIR NOTIONS OF THEMSELVESPEOPLE ANTICIPATE A LOSS OF STATUS OR QUALITY OF LIFEPEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE T... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4399832 Tue, 25 Jan 2011 15:28:00 +0100 4399832 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4394753&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdance-for-recovery%2F Image via WikipediaThe Workout You’ll Look Forward to DoingAlcoholics, addicts and co-dependents in early recovery may be out of condition, unfit. Here is one fun way to lose weight and get fit.If dancing is a rare activity for you, one you take part in only at the occasional wedding reception (if then!), then it’s time to get in touch with your inner Debbie Allen.Dancing, like walking or cycling, is a great no-cost or low-cost way to build aerobic fitness, improve balance and strengthen your muscles at any age. And you don’t have to wait for a special event or find a partner to enjoy dance’s benefits.You can even pick dance as your main physical activity. Research presented at the 2009 annual meeting of the American College of Sports Medicine showed that dancing gi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4394753 Mon, 24 Jan 2011 15:10:00 +0100 4394753 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4386473&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F10-lame-condom-excuses%2F Condoms are Fun to UseTen reasons why these are lame excuses not to use a condom…I don’t have any infectionsMake sure it stays that way – use a condom every time you have sexI can’t find one that fitsCondoms can stretch to around 3 feet long and 18 inches wide – don’t boast!I have superb controlWith a condom you don’t need to – accidents do happen and you can really get carried away by the passion of the momentSex doesn’t feel as goodUsing a condom stops those niggling worries about pregnancy or STIs – great sex is safer sexCondoms cut off my circulationCondoms can hold 40 litres of air – more inflated than your ego!If you love me you wouldn’t ask me to wear oneIf you loved me you’d protect meThey smell terribleNot any more – they’re vi... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4386473 Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:40:01 +0100 4386473 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4382953&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F7-cs-for-alcoholic-detachment%2F Image via WikipediaChildren, Adult Children and partners of alcoholics often develop seven ways or attitudes to deal with the drinker. These are;Guilt and shame implied by the alcoholic about causing them to drink excessivelyIf I caused alcoholism, I must be able to find a remedyIf I can’t cure it I can control the behaviour and drinkingAvoiding self-care in deference to the alcoholics needsFearfully not expressing own needs and feelingsMaking poorly considered decisions – unhealthy, irrationalBelittling self, abilities, accomplishments and potentialIn recovery children of alcoholics and co-dependents learn to reverse these attitudes. Quite simply these principles are life attitudes.The Seven C’s of Another Persons Alcoholism – DetachmentI didn’t Cause itI can’t Cur... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4382953 Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:40:00 +0100 4382953 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4352854&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbenefits-of-recovery-from-alcoholism-2%2F There are two benefits from recovery: we have short-term gains and long-term gains.The short-term gains are the things we can do today that help us feel better immediately.We can wake up in the morning, read for a few minutes in our meditation book, and feel lifted. We can work a Step and often notice an immediate difference in the way we feel and function. We can go to a meeting and feel refreshed, talk to a friend and feel comforted, or practice a new recovery behavior, such as dealing with our feelings or doing something good for ourselves, and feel relieved.There are other benefits from recovery, though, that we don’t see immediately on a daily or even a monthly basis. These are the long-term gains, the larger progress we make in our life.Over the years, we can see tremendous rew... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4352854 Sat, 15 Jan 2011 15:03:57 +0100 4352854 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4324904&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fprivate-sexual-addiction%2F Sexual addiction can be a devastating disease and carries a high rate of stigma.Alcoholics and addicts can easily ‘switch’ addictions in recovery.Recovery Zone has three questionnaires that you can use to anonymously assess your own sexual behaviour. Additionally there is one for partners or ex-partners of sex addicts.Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST)The SAST is designed to assist in the assessment of sexually compulsive behavior which may indicate the presence of sex addiction.More information about the Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment (SAST)Sexual Addiction Risk Assessment (SARA)SARA is an anonymous and private sex addiction self-assessment; it compares your answers with thousands of other sex addicts who have preceded you in treatment. Thus, you have the benefit of comp... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4324904 Sat, 08 Jan 2011 15:30:00 +0100 4324904 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4305110&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-promises-of-acoa-recovery%2F Image via WikipediaAdult Children of Alcoholics is an anonymous Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of women and men who grew up in an environment of addictiveness (alcohol or other substances) or in other-wise dysfunctional homes. Our willingness and resiliency bring us together.We share our experience, strength, and hope to validate our experience as well as give some hope to the new member. We take positive action in our lives today. By practicing the Twelve Steps, focusing on “The Solution”, and accepting a loving Higher Power of our own understanding, we find freedom from the past and a way to improve our lives.These are The Promises of ACoA RecoveryWe will discover our real identities by loving and accepting ourselves.Our self-esteem will increase as we give ourselves approval ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4305110 Mon, 03 Jan 2011 03:46:55 +0100 4305110 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4305111&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomen-the-12-steps-of-aa%2F 12 Steps lead women upwardsWomen and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous: A Gendered NarrativeThis paper examines how women “work” the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) from a gendered perspective.Feminist critics of AA havechallenged the language of AA’s Twelve Steps,the spiritual nature of the steps, andthe male-dominated culture of the Twelve-Step program.This paper offers insight into how women in AA approach, interpret, and utilize the Twelve Steps to recover from alcoholism.Through survey and narrative data, findings suggeststhat women working AA’s Twelve Steps become empowered andchange for the better in spite of the male-dominated culture and language of the Twelve Steps andregardless of the difficulty they may have encountered in completing these steps.In part... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4305111 Fri, 31 Dec 2010 15:21:02 +0100 4305111 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4300718&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-co-dependency-is-not%2F Sometimes people mistake the milk of human kindness for co-dependency. Thus, when co-dependent women start to recover, the pendulum swings the other way and they become determined not to "caretake" or to give away too much. They don’t want to offer care unless someone asks. This is fine, and for some a necessary part of the recovery, but some distinctions are in order.Empathy, sensitivity, care, compassion, and tenderness are wonderful traits. Being deeply involved and nurturing in a relationship can reflect a person’s wonderful capacity for intimacy. The ability to protect and care for children is a skill to be highly valued. When you comfort someone in need, you bestow a precious gift. Tuning in to the needs of others is beautiful. The codependent woman does not need to get... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4300718 Wed, 29 Dec 2010 15:45:01 +0100 4300718 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287585&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FN0vztXo_0FE%2F Image via WikipediaMany areas of our life need healing.One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our co-dependency.Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for others or ourselves.Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame.Some of us may have... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287585 Thu, 23 Dec 2010 15:44:00 +0100 4287585 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287587&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FhDfPTM_iT2c%2F The “Good-Enough Sex” model for couple sexual satisfaction “Then we have the voices who cry for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage; who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes. They think we do not have enough of it, or that it isn’t the right kind. They see its significance everywhere. One school would allow man or woman no flavour for their fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet. We want to stay out of this controversy. We do not want to be the arbiter of anyone’s sex conduct. We all have sex problems. We’d hardly be human if we didn’t. What can we do about them?Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it.” Alcoholics Anonymous, pp 69. The Goo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287587 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:19:01 +0100 4287587 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287588&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F6iKgemJAL-0%2F During the past 12 months how often have you: Given money to your partner thinking he/she might buy alcohol or drugs with it?Purchased alcohol or drugs for your partner?Taken over your partner’s typical chores and responsibilities neglected because of his/her drinking or drug use?Lied or made excuses to family or friends to hide your partner’s drinking or drug use?Drank or used drugs with your partner, or in your partner’s presence?Told your partner that it was okay to drink or use drugs on certain days or for special family or social gatherings?Borrowed money to pay bills caused by your partner’s drinking or drug use?Changed or cancelled family plans or social activities because your partner was drinking, using drugs, or hungover?Had sex with your partner when you ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287588 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 15:19:00 +0100 4287588 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287589&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FAJBulOEZelE%2F Sexual lubricants Image via WikipediaStudy examines effect of water-based and silicon-based sexual lubricantWomen in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency may find the use of sexual lubricants increases pleasure, sexual satisfaction and reduced pain during intercourse.A new study by sexual health researchers at Indiana University found that women who used lubricant during sex reported significantly higher levels of satisfaction and pleasure.The study, involving 2,453 women, is the largest systematic study of this kind, despite the widespread commercial availability of lubricant and the gaps in knowledge concerning its role in alleviating pain or contributing to other health issues."In spite of the widespread availability of lubricants in stores and on the Internet, it ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287589 Sat, 18 Dec 2010 15:58:00 +0100 4287589 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4287590&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FlQa8_FSAwnc%2F .A new research study reveals a strong link between alcohol dependency and gambling problems, Reuters reported.According to researchers at the Research Institute on Addictions at the University at Buffalo, N.Y., adults with an alcohol addiction are 23 times more likely to have a gambling problem than those who do not drink.“If you’re in trouble with alcohol, the odds you’re also in trouble with gambling increase enormously,” said lead author Dr. John W. Welte. “Most of that correlation is that problem behaviors tend to cluster in the same people.”The study also found factors that identified which racial and ethnic groups were more likely to have a gambling problem. “Gambling is more common among lower socioeconomic people, blacks and Hispanics, than among ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4287590 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:57:02 +0100 4287590 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4266278&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fpositive-moods-for-recovery%2F This article may help.Humor is known to be therapeutic just as is music to set a mood.People who watch funny videos on the internet are not necessarily wasting time. They may be taking advantage of the latest psychological science—putting themselves in a good mood so they can think more creatively."Generally, positive mood has been found to enhance creative problem solving and flexible yet careful thinking," says Ruby Nadler, a graduate student at the University of Western Ontario. She and colleagues Rahel Rabi and John Paul Minda carried out a new study. For this study, Nadler and her colleagues looked at a particular kind of learning that is improved by creative thinking.Students who took part in the study were put into different moods and then given a category learning task ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4266278 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 17:57:00 +0100 4266278 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4266280&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fal-anon-mp3-podcasts%2F An official Al-anon MP3 websiteFor over 55 years, Al-Anon (which includes Alateen for younger members) has been offering strength and hope for friends and families of problem drinkers. It is estimated that each alcoholic affects the lives of at least four other people… alcoholism is truly a family disease. No matter what relationship you have with an alcoholic, whether they are still drinking or not, all who have been affected by someone else’s drinking can find solutions that lead to serenity in the Al-Anon/Alateen fellowship.New Podcast website Welcome to “First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery” from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.Drinking During the HolidaysJanie, Ern... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4266280 Wed, 15 Dec 2010 16:16:27 +0100 4266280 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4259200&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fputting-the-pieces-back-together%2F Image via WikipediaPutting the pieces back together – Ed Grisamore – Macon.com.I met with two women one afternoon last week, and we talked about putting things together. Actually, it was more like putting things back together. A self-repair shop.Carol and Donna are members of Al-Anon. This is why, for confidentiality reasons, I will not publish their last names.This is not to be confused with Alcoholics Anonymous, but Al-Anon follows the same 12-step and 12-tradition program that have become the model for AA. The only requirement for membership in Al-Anon is to have been affected by someone else’s drinking or substance abuse.Al-Anon meetings are not guilt trips, blame games or dress rehearsals on how to play the victim.They practice the three “C’s” at Al-Anon.“I didn�... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4259200 Tue, 14 Dec 2010 10:52:08 +0100 4259200 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4253456&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FZoViqCqG69Q%2F The Big Book of “Alcoholics Anonymous” includes the story of a woman whose drinking landed her in jail twice and nearly ruined her third marriage. Her final drunk, she recalls, lasted 60 days around the clock. “It was my intention, literally, to drink myself to death,” she said. Joining AA saved her life, largely because it helped her overcome the habit of resentment.This woman wrote that “self-pity and resentment were my constant companions … for I seemed to have a resentment against everybody I had ever known.” Moreover, “the only people who would support this attitude or whom I felt understood me at all were the people I met in bars and the ones who drank as I did.”AA recognizes that resentment is toxic to our inner lives. The case i... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4253456 Sun, 05 Dec 2010 03:37:37 +0100 4253456 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4253458&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FM3QA4GFti3k%2F Image via Wikipedia Goldie Hawn still sexyThe secrets to staying sexually vibrant forever.These ideas for alcoholism, addiction or co-dependency recovery can empower all women who want to stay hot and sexy forever.Sex is agelessUnlike other species, we humans have a sexuality that can last way beyond the years of fertility and procreation. In fact, barring serious health problems, we have the ability to stay sexually active (with or without a partner) until we die.  Sexual fitness makes a differenceGood sex has a lot to do with stamina, flexibility and blood flow. Thus, keeping yourself in general good health—by eating well and exercising regularly–may be the most important thing you do to keep sex alive as you age.  Comfortable settings, comfortable vaginas... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4253458 Sun, 05 Dec 2010 03:37:33 +0100 4253458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4225669&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdisturbing-denial%2F Denial Breaking through denial is alcoholic’s first step in recovery Looking in the mirror and accepting what we see can be one of the hardest things we ever do. It’s especially hard when the image staring us in the face is painful or doesn’t fit with how we want to see ourselves. Sometimes, the truth is so painful that we avoid it at any cost. Refusing to accept a painful reality that alters the perception of ourselves is a psychological defence called denial. As human beings, we may use denial to protect ourselves from knowledge, insight or awareness that threatens our self-esteem, mental or physical health, or security. The term “denial” is often used in the chemical dependency field to describe people who deny substance abuse problems. “Denial is the tendency of... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4225669 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:15:01 +0100 4225669 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4200737&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fneurosis-alcoholism-codependency-and-recovery-2%2F Dr Karen Horney saw neurosis as continuous with normal life.Specifically, she saw neurosis as an attempt to make life bearable, as a way of “interpersonal control and coping.” This is, of course, what we all strive to do on a day-to-day basis, only most of us seem to be doing alright, while the neurotic seems to be sinking fast.In her clinical experience, she discerned ten particular patterns of neurotic needs. They are based on things that we all need, but they have become distorted in several ways by the difficulties of some people’s lives.Let’s take the first need, for affection and approval, as an example (see below).We all need affection, so what makes such a need neurotic? First, in the neurotic the need is unrealistic, unreasonable, indiscriminate. For exampl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4200737 Tue, 23 Nov 2010 15:36:01 +0100 4200737 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4172331&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecovery-and-healthcare-spirituality%2F Spirituality is universal; in recovery from alcoholism, addiction,  co-dependency; or in the practice of health-care, the principles are the same. This is an extract from an article by the Royal College of Psychiatrists In healthcare, spirituality is identified with experiencing a deep-seated sense of meaning and purpose in life, together with a sense of belonging. It is about acceptance, integration and wholeness. According to one definition, “The spiritual dimension tries to be in harmony with the universe, strives for answers about the infinite, and comes especially into focus in times of emotional stress, physical and mental illness, loss, bereavement and death.” This desire for wholeness of being is not an intellectual attainment, for it is no less present in people with learning... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4172331 Tue, 16 Nov 2010 15:01:00 +0100 4172331 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4168215&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Finfertility-treatment-in-recovery%2F This article is based on the book, "Pregnancy Miracle" by Lisa Olson. Lisa is an author, researcher, nutritionist and health consultant who dedicated her life to creating the ultimate pregnancy solution guaranteed to permanently reverse the root of infertility, help you get pregnant quickly and naturally and dramatically improve the overall quality of your life,  without the use of prescription medication and without any surgical procedures. Learn more by visiting her website: Infertility Treatment  Click Here! Share, print or e-mail this articleRandom ArticlesSex is Good for your HealthLife Cycle of a PenisGood-Enough SexSymptoms of Co-dependenceRecovery Self-awareness (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4168215 Mon, 15 Nov 2010 15:42:00 +0100 4168215 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4163060&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Femotional-bankruptcy-or-alexthymia%2F Emotional bankruptcy refers to the emotional condition experienced by most early recovering people. Emotional bankruptcy usually means that a person has used up every emotion in attempts to support their alcoholism / addiction and has no emotion left to manipulate themselves or others. Alexithymia refers to a condition that is characterised by; a difficulty in identifying and communicating feelings, a difficulty in distinguishing between feelings and bodily sensations impaired symbolization, as evidenced by paucity of fantasies and other imaginative activity, and a preference for focusing on external events rather than inner experiences. The term was coined from the Greek a- (prefix meaning "lack"), lexis ("word") and thymos ("feelings"), and hence can... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4163060 Sat, 13 Nov 2010 15:24:00 +0100 4163060 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4143021&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-acoa-co-dependency-2%2F You can talk to a dozen experts, read a dozen books and get a dozen different interpretations of ACOA co-dependency.   Many accept it as a disease in as much as it has an onset, is progressive, predictable and in time potentially fatal, although other causes of death are generally cited.   It is assumed that all Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) are co-dependents, but we each act out this illness in a different way.  Basically, there are two general concepts: As children growing up in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home environment, we learned to hide or divorce our feelings, our true selves (also knows as the "Inner Child") and we adopted a survival role in order to cope with the stresses.   The experts in the field of alcoholism have ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4143021 Sun, 07 Nov 2010 13:37:06 +0100 4143021 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4143022&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmaturity-of-mind-through-a-spiritual-awakening%2F Image via Wikipedia Recover Maturity of Mind and Adult Behavior Through a Spiritual Awakening The 12-Step program of recovery from alcoholism / addiction / codependency, in part, takes one through the process to maturity. Maturity is gradually attained through the process of the spiritual awakening which is a result of working the 12-Steps. The 12th Step states “Having had a Spiritual Awakening as the result of these steps …” The Oxford Dictionary defines the word "maturity" as deliberateness of action, mature consideration, due deliberation, fullness or perfection of natural development, ripeness, due promptness, the state of being complete, perfect, ready, and so on. This is the literary definition. What is maturity? Maturity need not necessarily come w... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4143022 Thu, 04 Nov 2010 14:49:13 +0100 4143022 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4122080&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmind-guide-to-relaxation%2F Image via Wikipedia Learning how to relax improves day-to-day living, and can be a valuable tool for coping with stress of any kind. Suitable for anyone in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, ACOA, co-dependency, compulsive gambling & etc. This booklet explores why people have problems trying to relax and how to resolve them. It explains how to introduce more relaxation into your everyday life, and how to take it further. It is not designed to go into specific deep relaxation techniques. Topics in this article include; What’s the link between stress and relaxation? What’s wrong with the way I relax now? How does relaxation differ from recreation? I feel too tense to relax. What can I do? How can I introduce more relaxation into my everyday life? How can I ta... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4122080 Sat, 30 Oct 2010 16:57:00 +0100 4122080 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4119730&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdetachment-from-emotion%2F This article may help. Letting someone else’s behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else’s “insanity” affect how we behave and how we feel. At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others’ problems or negative behavior. We may fear they’ll think we simply don’t care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful. I will work on detac... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4119730 Sun, 24 Oct 2010 16:08:01 +0100 4119730 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4086521&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FPl7t8Im2OBg%2F As if you didn’t know! Normal intercourse results in greater satisfaction, better intimacy, promotes more trust with passion and real love. Hanky panky without intercourse does not give true satisfaction and is less intimate, passionate and loving. Masturbation does not result in effective satisfaction, is less intimate and does not promote trust, genuine passion or love. These are the outcomes of a new study of Portuguese women looking at relationship quality and sexual activity. Satisfaction increased as masturbation decreased and penis-vagina sex increased. Now what’s so new about that? Nothing I guess! But someone had to find out for sciences sake. Anyone’s that’s had sex with a partner and compared that with hanky panky without penis-vagina penetration will know what’s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4086521 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 15:45:54 +0100 4086521 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4001809&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fone-now-at-a-time%2F One Now From ’The Horse Whisperer’ “The only time he remembered his father happy . . . was when for three days they drove the cattle up to the summer pastures. His mother, Frank and Rosie came too and the five of them would ride all day and sleep out under the stars. ‘If only you could make now last forever.’ Frank said on one of those nights while they lay on their backs watching a huge half-moon roar up out of the dark shoulders of the mountain. Frank was eleven and not by nature a philosopher. They had all lain still, thinking about this for a while. Somewhere, a long way off, a coyote called. ‘I guess that’s all forever is,’ his father replied. ‘Just one long trail of now’s. And I guess all you can do is try and live one now at a time without getting too worked ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4001809 Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:18:55 +0100 4001809 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4001810&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ffinancial-abuse-in-relationships%2F What is economic or financial abuse of a spouse or domestic partner? Economic or financial abuse includes: Withholding economic resources such as money or credit cards. Stealing from or defrauding a partner of money or assets. Exploiting the intimate partner’s resources for personal gain. Withholding physical resources such as food, clothes, necessary medications, or shelter. Preventing the spouse or intimate partner from working or choosing an occupation. These symptoms may occur in alcoholic or addictive relationships as co-dependency grows. See also; Abusive relationship? Choicemaking Emotional Sobriety – A Recovery Book Drunks, Drugs & Debits: How to Recognize Addicts and Avoid Financial Abuse by Doug Thorburn - Share, print or e-mail this articleRando... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4001810 Sat, 25 Sep 2010 17:18:54 +0100 4001810 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982122&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fwx-C3hIxzRg%2F Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. It has been adapted for use in treatment especially preventing relapse and for assisting with mood regulation. Mindfulness has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are, i.e. non-judgementally. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention and has been found to have considerable health benefits. These exercises are designed to introduce the principles and can be used by anyone recovering from a mood altering disease such as alcoholism, compulsive gambling, food problems, addiction, co-dependency or adult children of alcoholics. If you let cloudy water settle, it will become clear. If you let your upset mind settl... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982122 Fri, 17 Sep 2010 15:52:00 +0100 3982122 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3982125&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FP1MAAuSR4k0%2F Research proves that the Al Anon method of encouragement and support is the best way to help a recovering alcoholic / addict stay sober A recent American clinical study examined the effect of perceived criticism on relapse back to substance abuse, and found that the perception of criticism was a very significant factor leading to relapse. Families can best help in the recovery process by remaining encouraging and supportive, and additionally attending both therapy with the alcoholic, as well as some form of family support organization. The Al Anon philosophy: Al-Anon has but one purpose to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic. I�... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3982125 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 13:39:07 +0100 3982125 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3960075&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwellbriety-recovery-for-native-americans%2F Wellbriety – Continuing a Legacy of Resistance … Implementing a Vision for Healing Wellbriety means to be both sober and well. It’s a word translating a term from the language of the Passamaquoddy Nation of Maine as given by an elder in the mid 1990s. It describes a natural evolution of the recovery process. The Wellbriety Movement among Native Americans is a direct descendent of the modern Native sobriety movement that began in the 1950s and continues to change and grow even today. “I went to a sobriety meeting in Albuquerque, New Mexico in the early 1980s and there was a guy named Harold Belmont there who had a smudge. I was going, ‘What is this? What is this?’ It was controversial because it was very early sobriety for Indian people and there were sober people prese... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3960075 Sat, 11 Sep 2010 13:50:35 +0100 3960075 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3946694&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdefinition-of-codependency%2F Codependency is a condition that results in a dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people.  A codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed.  Enabling This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other person to continue to be needy.  This behavior is called enabling.  The enabler will purposefully overlook someone abusing a child, will call in sick for someone suffering from addiction, will put roadblocks to prevent their child from becoming independent, or even keep a sick family member from getting the treatment that would make them well.  These are behaviors common to codependents.  A codependent often suffers from a ‘Messiah Complex’ where he sees problems with everyone ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3946694 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 15:10:00 +0100 3946694 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3933268&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadmit-it-and-be-free%2F Many people in early recovery from alcoholism, addiction and codependency struggle with some of the paradoxes of spiritual change. Some of the more profound ones are; Admit to being frightened, and your courage will grow. Admit to not knowing, and you will learn. Admit your weaknesses, and you’ll become stronger. Admit your mistakes, and you’ll begin to move past them. Admit you don’t know what to say, and you’ll have said just the right thing. Admit that you’re confused, and you’ll begin to understand. Admit that you’re hurting, and you’ll begin to heal. Admit that you care, and the things that truly matter will grow stronger. Being honest with yourself, with others and in life, can often be difficult and intimidating. Yet honesty is always the most reliable, the... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3933268 Fri, 03 Sep 2010 13:31:23 +0100 3933268 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3907788&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fbetter-oral-sex-2%2F Oral Sex and Sexually Transmitted Infections Many people in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, gambling and co-dependency may be exploring their sexuality from a new perspective. Safer and more enjoyable oral can be an exciting experience. Compared to sex, oral sex is considered a lower-risk sexual activity. There is zero risk of unwanted pregnancy and a lower chance of passing along a sexually transmitted disease. However, “lower risk” does not mean “no risk” – there is no such thing as 100 percent safe sex, and oral sex is no exception. Not just cold sores. People may tend to think of embarrassing cold sores and the Herpes virus when they think of oral sex and sexually transmitted infections (STI’s). However the majority of common sexually transmitted infections can be ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3907788 Thu, 26 Aug 2010 16:52:00 +0100 3907788 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3896102&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-smart-recovery%2F . SMART Recovery® (Self-Management And Recovery Training) SMART Recovery® is an international non-profit organization that offers free, self-empowering, science-based mutual help groups for abstaining from any substance or activity addiction. Donations are requested by passing a hat at meetings. SMART Recovery®  helps people recover from all types of addictive behaviors, including: alcoholism, drug abuse, substance abuse, drug addiction, alcohol abuse, gambling addiction, cocaine addiction, and addiction to other substances and activities. SMART Recovery®  currently sponsors more than 500+ face-to-face meetings around the world, and 16+ online meetings per week. In addition, our online message board is an excellent forum to learn about SMART Recovery®  and obtain addiction recovery... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3896102 Mon, 23 Aug 2010 14:43:28 +0100 3896102 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3890591&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ffriends-can-do-help%2F Mental health study shows friends can help People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, ACOA’s and co-dependency will recognise the behaviours of these helpers. Many of these are incorporated into the Twelfth Step. The study by the Mental Health Foundation discovered almost 80% of people know at least two friends who have experienced mental distress, yet many don’t want to admit their problems for fear of what their friends might think. The charity surveyed people across the UK looking at the experiences of both people with mental health problems and those of people who have supported friends during a period of mental illness. Half of all people who did not want friends to know about their mental health problem said it was because they felt ashamed and two in three were worried t... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3890591 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:24:02 +0100 3890591 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3889306&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fno-sex-people%2F This article may help. Andy is young and healthy – yet he’s never experienced physical desire. And there are thousands more like him. Olly Bootle meets the asexuals. At 21, Andy Holland is happy, easy-going and interested in the same things as most university students. With one notable exception: Holland is not attracted to women, or to men. In fact, he has no desire to have sex. And in this, he is not as unusual as we might assume. The first crush that Tessa Barratt had was on a Transformers toy called Rat Trap. “He was my first heart throb,” she says. The shelves in her bedroom are lined with models of Transformers. Playing with them now, laughs as she admits, “I don’t know how I fell in love with a rat.” Barratt is now 22. But she’s not that much closer to having what mo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3889306 Fri, 20 Aug 2010 17:24:01 +0100 3889306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3885548&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Frecipe-for-choc-chip-cookies%2F Yummy! Preparation Time: 20 minutes |Cooking Time: 15 minutes Ingredients 180 grams butter 1/3 cup sugar 1/2 cup NESTLÉ Sweetened Condensed Milk 1 1/2 cups self-raising flour 250g packet NESTLÉ Dark CHOC BITS Method Preheat oven to 180oC. Beat butter and sugar until creamy, beat in NESTLÉ Sweetened Condensed Milk. Add flour, stir until combined. Add NESTLÉ Dark Choc Bits, mix well. Roll heaped tablespoonfuls of mixture into balls, place on greased oven trays, press gently with fork. Bake for 15 minutes, until golden. Makes:approx. 12 Switch To Dark chocolate campaign. More information is available under the Switch to Dark website at www.switchtodark.com.au WHY? Because I like them! Share, print or e-mail this articleChocolate Lowers Blood PressureHEALTH BENEFITS OF CHOCOLATE REVEALEDCa... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3885548 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 17:55:01 +0100 3885548 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3876898&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fadult-children-of-alcoholics-can-practice-being-normal-2%2F “Sometimes I feel like I was raised by wolves,” sighed James, a 55-year-old man who grew up in a home with two alcoholic parents. "I know what it is to be codependent. I’ve gone through so much of my life guessing at what ‘normal’ is. It’s like trying to find your way through a dark woods without a compass.” According to Rosemary Hartman reactions like James’ are typical for people who grew up in dysfunctional families. But acknowledging that there were issues that deeply affected the whole family system is an important first step toward emotional and spiritual healing. Hartman said this acknowledgment frequently happens when adults have their own children. “They want to be good parents, but struggle with how to do it. They have some notions that are guided by prin... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3876898 Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:57:00 +0100 3876898 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3867064&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhealthy-sexuality-2%2F Many areas of our life need healing. One important part of our life is our sexuality. Our feelings and beliefs about our sexuality, our ability to nurture, cherish, and enjoy our sexuality, our ability to respect ourselves sexually, our ability to let go of sexual shame and confusion, may all be impaired or confused by our codependency. Our sexual energy may be blocked. Or for some of us, sex may be the only way we learned to connect with people. Our sexuality may not be connected to the rest of us; sex may not be connected to love – for others or ourselves. Some of us were sexually abused as children. Some of us may have gotten involved in sexuality addictive behaviors – compulsive sexual behaviors that got out of control and produced shame. Some of us may have gotten invo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3867064 Thu, 12 Aug 2010 18:49:00 +0100 3867064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3858391&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Faction-and-patience-2%2F The writings on recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency are extensive and the book ‘Came to Believe’ is one which I could not do without. “In shame and despair, I went to my first A.A. meeting.  By some minor miracle, I was able to suspend opinion, analysis, judgment, and criticism, and instead to listen and hear. I heard someone say that A.A. works for those who work for it, those who put ACTION into the program.  For me, at the time, action consisted of simply showing up at an A.A. meeting and following the suggestions I heard….The first step in the process of ‘coming to believe’ had been taken.” AA Came to Believe, page 42 Share, print or e-mail this article24 Ways to get the Rest You NeedAA Works & Costs LessAction and Pati... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3858391 Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:38:01 +0100 3858391 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3854754&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthings-i-can-and-cannot-change-2%2F The Serenity Prayer of recovery from alcoholism,addiction, codependency, gambling. God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. –Reinhold Niebuhr Some things I cannot change: my age, who my relatives are, my eye colour, my height, my childhood experiences, my inborn talents, my nature, someone else’s abuse of alcohol or other drugs, whether the sun will shine, the universe (see picture) my job history, what I will inherit, how my parents feel, yesterday’s lost opportunities, how long I will live, who forgives me, how my parents treated me, how much I am loved, the past. Some things I can change: the youthfulness of my spirit, who my friends are, ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3854754 Mon, 09 Aug 2010 18:14:00 +0100 3854754 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3854755&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-certain-kind-of-faith-2%2F Recovery from alcoholism, addiction, codependency and gambling requires a certain kind of faith. "Without knowing it, had we not been brought to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? For did we not believe in our own reasoning? Did we not have confidence in our ability to think? What was that but a sort of faith? Yes, we had been faithful, abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. So, in one way or another, we discovered that faith had been involved all the time!" Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 53~ See also; Alcoholics Anonymous – the Big Book – an Audible MP3 book Faith It Till You Make It – A Recovery Book - Share, print or e-mail this articleRandom ArticlesA Woman’s Way Through the Twelve StepsFemale Drinkers have more P... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3854755 Sun, 08 Aug 2010 18:56:00 +0100 3854755 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3845288&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F11-ways-to-be-loving-3%2F This article provides some ideas as follows; Embrace your past. Be kids together – let the inner child out. Wrap your mate in love. Speak the languages of love. Write love notes to each other. Turn on the charm. Connect online. Remember the little things. Send a card or note snail mail. Celebrate everything. Just say it – I love you. Your partner needs to hear those three simple words daily. Whisper it, sing it, shout it. Say it. Full story at Christianity Today See also; HALT being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired Say Yes to Your Sexual Healing – A Recovery Book Easy Does It Relationship Guide For People in Recovery - Share, print or e-mail this articleDeveloping SpiritualityThe Sexual G-spot, Male and FemaleWomen’s Sexual Addiction12 Ways to Be LovingMature ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3845288 Sat, 07 Aug 2010 18:35:00 +0100 3845288 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833565&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fchildren-and-alcoholic-family-roles-2%2F One model that is helpful in identifying child behaviors in alcoholic families is that of Sharon Wegscheider (1981). In this model children adopt various coping and enabling roles. Little caretaker The little caretaker role is often a carbon copy of the partner of the alcoholic. They take care of the alcoholic; getting drinks, cleaning up after the alcoholic and soothing over stressful situations and events. They are validated by approval for taking responsibility for the alcoholic and their Behaviour. This little person often goes on to become a partner of an alcoholic or other dysfunctional person if they do not get treatment. Family hero The family hero role brings pride to the family by being successful at school or work. At home, the hero assumes the responsibilities that the enabli... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833565 Fri, 06 Aug 2010 18:17:00 +0100 3833565 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833571&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Ftheres-no-shame-in-sex-therapy%2F This article may be a guide to seeking help. When Stephen Braveman suggested to his wife that they needed sex therapy, he did so with trepidation. He worried he’d “be seen as a pig who only wants sex.” Even though he’s a practicing sex therapist himself, his marriage wasn’t immune from the intimacy challenges that face so many couples. In his case, says Braveman of Monterey, Calif., his upbringing during the “free love” 1960s in California put him at odds with his wife’s native German culture. “It’s just not in her personality to be verbally expressive in the bedroom,” he says. Still, she agreed to join him in therapy, and the couple has “made progress.” Sex, of course, isn’t purely physical. Intertwined be... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833571 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 18:04:01 +0100 3833571 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3833572&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fstyles-of-enabling-behavior-2%2F Enabling is doing something to prolong an alcoholic or addicts drinking or drugging. The effect is that the alcoholic / addict is enabled to avoid taking responsibility for their own actions. This type of behaviour may be unconscious or deliberate and is practiced by the people who love them the most. Avoiding and shielding: Any behavior by the codependent covering up for, or preventing the abuser, or self from experiencing the full impact or harmful consequences of drug use. Attempting to control: Any behavior by the codependent performed with the intent to take personal control over the significant other’s drug use. Taking over responsibilities: Any behavior by the codependent designed to take over the abuser’s personal responsibilities, such as household chores or employ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3833572 Wed, 04 Aug 2010 18:04:00 +0100 3833572 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3816765&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Faddiction-in-the-family-2%2F Addiction is a complex issue. It affects every member of the family and can have a lasting impact on their lives. The effect on family members varies from person to person and family to family. Family members may become codependent on the addiction. How Does an Addiction Develop? Addiction is a process rather than an event. In the beginning, people often don’t experience any difficulties. As their use continues, they may begin to focus more on the alcohol, drugs or gambling than they do on the other areas of their lives. This process is often influenced by a number of factors, including the culture they live in, life events, their biological makeup and their relationships with family and friends. Researchers have looked at genetics, environment, and the combination of these two to e... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3816765 Mon, 02 Aug 2010 18:26:00 +0100 3816765 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3816766&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fletting-go-of-blame%2F Often those of us who live or have lived with someone else’s problem drinking either blame ourselves or the drinker. “If I were a better spouse, he wouldn’t be drinking.” “If she really loved me, she would have kept her promise and given up the alcohol.” When we understand that alcoholism is a progressive disease that affects the drinker as well as those close to the drinker, we realize that blame is as relevant with this disease as it is with diabetes or Alzheimer’s. The more we know about the disease we are dealing with, the better we are able to make healthy choices as to how we react. “Many of the symptoms of alcoholism are in the behavior of the alcoholic. The people who are involved with the alcoholic react to his behavior. They try to control it, make up for it, or h... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3816766 Sun, 01 Aug 2010 18:41:00 +0100 3816766 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3816767&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fanger-management%2F Anger can be a very real problem for people in recovery from codependency, addiction, alcoholism or compulsive gambling. Anger is a word we apply to a wide range of feelings. . . Anger can be as simple as a minor irritation. We frequently feel angry when we’re frustrated or when our plans are thwarted. Annoyances may be barely noticeable at first, but if annoyances continue, they can generate considerable wrath. We feel a form of anger when we’re disappointed and let down–most often it takes the form of resentment. When we’re angry, but don’t want to make a deal of it, we use a euphemism, “I’m really teed-off.” Anger is frequently a response to being hurt or suffering loss. Even so, we may not recognize it as such. For example, if someone says, “I never ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3816767 Sun, 01 Aug 2010 17:54:00 +0100 3816767 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808846&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fthe-23rd-psalm-for-recovery%2F Suitable for members of Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-anon, Alateen, ACOA, Naranon, Narcotics Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous and anybody in recovery through a 12-Step fellowship. The Lord is my sponsor, I shall not want. He makes me to go to many meetings. He leads me to sit back, relax, and listen with an open mind, He restores my soul, my sanity, and my health. He leads me in the path of sobriety, serenity, and fellowship for my own sake. He teaches me to think, to take it easy, to live and let live, and do first things first. He makes me more humble and grateful. He teaches me to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can and gives me the wisdom to know the difference. Yea, though I walk through the valley of despair, frustration, guilt, and remorse, I will fear no evil. Fo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808846 Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:00:01 +0100 3808846 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808847&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2F12-self-defeating-thoughts-2%2F How to Challenge your Internal Struggle Against Recovery and get off the endless staircase. Most people trying to overcome an addiction, alcoholism, gambling or codependency soon realize that recovery is not spontaneous. It requires discipline and patience, and therein lies the problem with recovery. Addiction’s lure is its promise of immediate gratification, the quick feel-good. Being addicted means relying on immediate gratification and, as the pattern of addiction continues, our ability to delay gratification erodes. Recovery, on the other hand, asks us to forego the quick feel-good and calls upon us to show a patience we have all but lost during our addiction. While recovery requires a physical tenacity, to bear the strain of withdrawal, it also requires a mental tenacity. ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808847 Fri, 30 Jul 2010 18:00:00 +0100 3808847 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808848&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fhalt-for-health%2F HALT. Don’t get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. As a codependent I use this reminder to help me set healthy limits for myself, which I never learned as a child of an alcoholic. In the past, I often believed I should be able to go for days without food or sleep. I also tested the limits of my ability to handle enormous doses of stress and isolation without tending to my own emotional needs. Al-Anon has taught me a gentler, simpler way of caring for myself. I find it of great benefit to have a brief list of the most basic areas in which I neglect my own well-being: nourishment, emotional wellness, fellowship, and physical rest. First, is my stomach rumbling? Then I need to stop what I’m doing and eat some food. Am I too angry about the trivial details of my life? If so ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808848 Thu, 29 Jul 2010 18:49:00 +0100 3808848 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3795063&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fyou-say-and-the-higher-power-says%2F It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. Whether its alcoholism, addiction, depression, gambling, co-dependency or relationships we shouldn’t lose heart. The Higher Power is at work in our lives, helping us in recovery even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground it just may be a smoke signal that summons the goodwill of The Higher Power. For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves, The Higher Power has a positive answer for it. Here is one example from Christianity; “It’s impossible” Bible says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27) “I’m too tired” Bible says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30) “Nobody really loves me” Bible says: I love you (John... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3795063 Mon, 26 Jul 2010 18:34:01 +0100 3795063 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3787128&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Femergency-contraception-after-emergency-sex-2%2F People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, codependency or gambling may need emergency contraception on occasion. After all, sometimes there is an emergent sexual arousal If you’ve had unprotected intercourse and don’t want to get pregnant, you still have a method of birth control at your disposal: emergency contraception (EC). Unlike other forms of contraception, EC can be used after intercourse to prevent pregnancy. After an unprotected sexual encounter, you have a window of between 3 and 5 days in which to use EC, although the sooner you use it, the better it works. There are three methods of EC in current use: a single dose of contraceptive pills called Plan B, a series of two doses of contraceptive pills called the Yuzpe method, and insertion of an IUD. All o... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3787128 Sun, 25 Jul 2010 18:07:00 +0100 3787128 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3787129&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fneurosis-alcoholism-codependency-and-recovery%2F Karen Horney saw neurosis as part of normal life. Specifically, she saw neurosis as an attempt to make life bearable, as a way of “interpersonal control and coping.” This is, of course, what we all strive to do on a day-to-day basis, only most of us seem to be doing alright, while the neurotic seems to be sinking fast. In her clinical experience, she discerned ten particular patterns of neurotic needs. They are based on things that we all need, but they have become distorted in several ways by the difficulties of some people’s lives: Let’s take the first need, for affection and approval, as an example. We all need affection, so what makes such a need neurotic? First, the need is unrealistic, unreasonable, indiscriminate. For example, we all need affection, but we do... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3787129 Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:31:52 +0100 3787129 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3786273&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FWFi3vr4CYkc%2F Styles of Distorted Thinking Throughout addictive / alcoholic / codependent living one tends to pick up dysfunctional styles of thinking to cope with every day life. Using them often ends in some sort of confrontation. These are some that many have noticed. They are born out of anger, anxiety and denial; or just plain damaged thinking. Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all the positive aspects of a situation. Polarized Thinking: Things are black or white, good or bad. You have to be perfect or you are a failure. There is no middle ground. Over-generalization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once you expect it to happen over and over again. (If something good happens it is... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3786273 Sat, 24 Jul 2010 13:19:01 +0100 3786273 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3772472&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fdefining-sexuality%2F People in recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency often question their sexuality or are ready to redefine their sexuality. Research indicates that both men and women maintain sexual relationships throughout life even though sexual problems may be evident. Sexual activity is often associated with health, with those in better health experiencing more sexual satisfaction and participation than those in poor health. Experiencing any barrier to sexual activity can lead people to reprioritize the role of sex but does not define sexuality. Instead, sexuality is generally described as how people view themselves and express themselves as sexual beings. This may include kissing, cuddling, and other forms of intimacy, expressing love for a partner verbally or through actions, working ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3772472 Tue, 20 Jul 2010 13:41:12 +0100 3772472 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3767323&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fmajor-depression-what-are-the-symptoms%2F Many alcoholics, addicts, compulsive gamblers and co-dependents suffer from depression both before and after they start recovery. This list may help identify some patterns of symptoms of depression that you have been experiencing. Depression shows itself differently in different people. Common depression symptoms are: Depressed mood, sadness, or an “empty” feeling, or appearing sad or tearful to others Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you once enjoyed Significant weight loss when not dieting, or significant weight gain (for example, more than 5% of body weight in a month) Inability to sleep or excessive sleeping Restlessness or irritation (irritable mood may be a symptom in children or adolescents too), or feelings of  “dragging” Fatigue or loss of energy Feelings ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3767323 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 09:01:23 +0100 3767323 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3763064&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FdNyj1oSWx7o%2F Alcoholism is a worldwide issue, causing problems not only for the drinker but for everyone else connected with that person as well. People who are sometimes called codependents. Every alcoholic affects at least 4 other people, many of them children troubled by their parents’ drinking. Often, these young people have nowhere to turn for help. This is where Alateen comes in. Alateen is fellowship of young relatives and friends of alcoholics who come together to discuss their difficulties, encourage one another, and learn how to cope with their problems. These young people are often introduced to Alateen by concerned friends, neighbors, school counselors, and clergy. Alateen is part of the Al-Anon Family Groups which helps those whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3763064 Fri, 16 Jul 2010 08:36:00 +0100 3763064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3754084&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FzwtzrNBgTwc%2F This article may help if one follows the tips before a real addiction develops. I’m not a psychiatrist: if you fear your problem is so serious you need professional help, go out and see one. I’m going to write this article for those who might have trouble leaving the computer behind when the back of your eyes are telling you it’s definitely bedtime, but your spouse hasn’t packed up and left yet as a result of it – not quite a full-blown addiction, just on your way there. Detecting the Problem The problem with many addictions is that it can be hard to tell when a hobby has become more than just that, and taken a hold on you. It can also be hard to be honest with yourself when facing a list of symptoms, so make the extra effort now – we’re going to go through a few. Yo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3754084 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:23:02 +0100 3754084 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3754085&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FO4vs471bJi8%2F This article provides some ideas as follows; Embrace your past. Be kids together – let the inner child out. Wrap your mate in love. Speak the languages of love. Write love notes to each other. Turn on the charm. Connect online. Remember the little things. Send a card or note snail mail. Celebrate everything. Just say it – I love you. Your partner needs to hear those three simple words daily. Whisper it, sing it, shout it. Say it. Celebrate recovery Full story at Christianity Today See also; HALT being Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired Share, print or e-mail this article Recovery Books, Medallions & DVD's (Source: Recovery Is Sexy.com) Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3754085 Tue, 13 Jul 2010 15:23:01 +0100 3754085 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3743722&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FnGKOwtMDL2Y%2F It is important to put the responsibility for dealing with the alcohol problem squarely on the person in question while continuing to love him or her. What works depends on the individual. Doing the "right" thing can depend on how severe the alcohol problem is and on how in touch with it the person in question seems to be. What works for someone who is highly functional in daily life and who knows that alcohol is causing trouble, for instance, may not be the solution for someone who denies that there is a problem. Suggestion #4: Address the drinking problem directly Over and over, people shared comments like these: "Let them know that you are aware of their drinking problem. I thought I had everyone fooled, and they never told me otherwise." – alcoholic lady. &qu... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3743722 Mon, 12 Jul 2010 00:38:00 +0100 3743722 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3743724&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2F1597rHN3bQY%2F Stepping Stones To Recovery An important resource that highlights the rewards recovery offers. This bestseller comes from the "group conscience" of members of the A.A. fellowship and is recommended reading for patients in many substance abuse treatment centers as well as alcoholism Stepping Stones To Recovery For Men This male perspective on the Twelve Step program offers insight into the unique needs of men through articles, reflections, and affirmations. It presents workable examples and ideas for positive personal and spiritual growth. Stepping Stones To Recovery For Women Articles, stories, slogans, and prayers written specifically for women highlight key Twelve Step recovery topics. Includes a daily reading guide. Stepping Stones To Recover... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3743724 Sat, 10 Jul 2010 17:16:00 +0100 3743724 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3743725&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FykTo0qwvojs%2F It is important to put the responsibility for dealing with the alcohol / addiction problem squarely on the person in question while continuing to love him or her. What works depends on the individual. Doing the "right" thing can depend on how severe the alcohol problem is and on how in touch with it the person in question seems to be. What works for someone who is highly functional in daily life and who knows that alcohol is causing trouble, for instance, may not be the solution for someone who denies that there is a problem. Suggestion #9: Be there for them when they’re ready Most comments on this subject go like this: "Be available when the alcoholic reaches out." "When they hold out their hand for help, grab it." "Help as many times as you are asked.... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3743725 Fri, 09 Jul 2010 15:28:00 +0100 3743725 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3743728&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2Fdjq5jZm2S8M%2F Emotional memories can be suppressed with practice Recovering members of 12-Step fellowships will know that resentment means to ‘refeel’ emotions – over and over and over again. Practicing the program of 12-Steps to recovery, works in ways that remove unwanted feelings. Steps 4 through 9 identify and resolve stressful memories and hence diminishing their power to disturb current emotions. This new research aims to show that some immediate and current bad memories can be suppressed until steps 4 to 9 are worked through – one day at a time. A new University of Colorado at Boulder study shows people have the ability to suppress emotional memories with practice, which has implications for those suffering from conditions ranging from post-traumatic stress disorder to alcoholism, addicti... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3743728 Thu, 08 Jul 2010 17:03:01 +0100 3743728 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3730104&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsexuality%2F and sexual skills are an important part of life. For people in recovery from addiction, alcoholism and co-dependency learning new or recapturing sexual attractiveness and techniques is a prime part of sobriety. These books on various sexuality issues are a selection that can be utilised in your journey of recovery. Good sex, however, is where no one gets hurt. Transforming Sexuality Mom, sex is NO big deal! Sex, Orgasm, and the Mind of Clear Light Sexless in the City Sex, Ecology, Spirituality Sex and Real Estate Virgin Sex for Guys The Ten Minute Sexual Solution Handcuffs My Fantasies Mia’s Secret Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid They&#8... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3730104 Tue, 06 Jul 2010 15:14:57 +0100 3730104 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3730105&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwomens-sexual-health%2F Women Say Sexual Health Issues Impact Multiple Aspects of Their Lives. Many women in recovery from alcoholism, addiction, compulsive gambling or co-dependency may identify with this survey. The women included were heterosexual, lesbian and/or bisexual. National Survey Shows 70% of Women Have Experienced a Sexual Health Issue A new survey released today shows 70 percent of women report having experienced a sexual health issue, of which 22 percent felt very or extremely concerned. The survey also found that many women claim they would be comfortable talking to a health care provider about a sexual health issue, but less than one-fifth (18%) actually visited their health care provider when they experienced one. The survey, commissioned by the US National Women’s Health Resource Center (... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3730105 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:27:01 +0100 3730105 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3724575&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FttkiulAK9WY%2F Epiphanies: Slowly Building Up Life Skills In Addiction Recovery Erin has posted a wonderful experience of a spiritual awakening – the epiphany type – an educational spiritual awakening is happening for her. And, epiphanies remove the mask of denial whether it be for alcoholism, addiction or co-dependency. Erin said; So I’ve talked, almost a sickening amount, about how active addiction keeps us from developing life skills. But what I really haven’t discussed is how being in addiction recovery makes building up life skills possible. There I am driving down the road. I should be concentrating on, oh I don’t know… driving. But I’m not. I’m thinking about what it would take for my husband, my son and myself to be able to move out of where we live now. This train of thought s... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3724575 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 18:35:56 +0100 3724575 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3726785&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsex-and-healthy-relationships-in-recovery-2%2F This article will give many people in recovery food for thought. What is a healthy relationship and how does sex fit in? In the simplest terms, a healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good about yourself and your partner. Not only do you enjoy being together, but you can express your true self, and allow your partner to do the same. All relationships are different, of course, but healthy ones have at least five important qualities in common. The acronym S.H.A.R.E. can help you remember these qualities. Safety: In a healthy relationship you feel safe. You don’t worry that your partner will harm you physically or emotionally, and you don’t feel inclined to use physical or emotional violence against your partner. You can try new things (such as taking a night class)... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3726785 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 18:23:59 +0100 3726785 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3726786&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwill-will-power-higher-power%2F Will power, will and higher power are terms discussed in 12-Step programs of recovery. I for one did not understand the differences between the various attitudes and actions I adopted. Then I came across something similar to the following and I was able to tell the difference between them – at least in theory. I took such a list to my sponsor and have been discussing these ever since. Counter will Opposition to ‘other’ will (other being spiritual guidance, another person, parent, boss or what one ‘must’ do) Child will (As when a child defies its parental guidance) Rebellion Positive will Willing what one ‘must’ do Disciplined will Parental will Creative will Willing what one ‘wants’ rather than what one needs Passionate will Higher will Spiritual will Higher Po... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3726786 Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:24:01 +0100 3726786 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3721969&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fsex-when-your-over-50-2%2F Sexuality Challenges Related to Aging and Recovery from Alcoholism, Addiction or Co-dependency. While there are some age-related sexual changes in both men and women, the ability to have and enjoy sex usually continues into old age. Both the sexual experience and the intimacy it provides remain important. But there is no doubt that there are changes going on, starting right in midlife. While every person is different (for example, some women go through menopause in their 40s, while others don’t reach menopause until their late 50s), there are certain common physical changes that happen as men and women age. Understanding these changes will allow you to discuss them with your partner, to make changes that keep you sexually active, or to consult a doctor or health-care practitioner if yo... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3721969 Fri, 02 Jul 2010 16:23:14 +0100 3721969 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3707006&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Finjured-fantasies%2F Many people have dysfunctional beliefs. Not all of these are in one person but if there is a great many then that person may be dysfunctional. Alcoholics, addicts, codependents and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA’s) may identify. Some of these dysfunctional beliefs are; That I can control my emotions. That I can control someone else’s emotions or actions or thoughts. That I deserve: . . .to get something good. . . .to get something bad. . . .to be punished for mistakes. . . .to be rewarded for perfection. . . .to be rewarded for good behaviour, intentions, thoughts, feelings, whatever. That I can "make" sense out of anything. That I am responsible for . . .for achieving other peoples success. . . .for other people’s feelings, thoughts... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3707006 Mon, 28 Jun 2010 13:53:21 +0100 3707006 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3707007&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhy-do-women-have-sex%2F This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression. The study; Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature- to reproduce, to experience pleasure, or to relieve sexual tension. Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex. Here are the top 50 reasons women have sex; I was attracted to the person I wanted to experience the physical pleasure It feels good I wanted to show my affection to the person I wanted to express my lov... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3707007 Sun, 27 Jun 2010 16:04:01 +0100 3707007 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3701811&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fa-friend-or-partners-excessive-drinking%2F Millions of people are affected by the excessive drinking of someone close. These questions can help you decide if you are involved with an excessive drinker. Do you worry about how much someone else drinks? Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking? Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking? Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking, to please you? Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions? Are plans frequently upset, or cancelled, or meals delayed because of the drinker? Do you make threats, such as, "If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you"? Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath? Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a dr... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3701811 Sat, 26 Jun 2010 13:51:08 +0100 3701811 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3699710&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fwhat-is-enabling-2%2F Enabling is doing for others what they are capable of doing for themselves. When we enable alcoholics / addicts, we prevent them from experiencing the consequences of their own actions. When we do this, we discourage them from learning from their own mistakes which, in turn, prevents them from realizing they have a problem. The alcoholic / addict has made drugs / drinking their whole life. The normal, natural things every person needs to learn have been put aside. When we continue to reach in and do even the simple things for people we love, how will they learn to do for themselves? When we begin to enable an addict / alcoholic it can spiral into a never ending co-dependency trap. How do we enable? We enable alcoholics / addicts by doing things such as: Paying their bills, making ca... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3699710 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 16:10:00 +0100 3699710 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3701812&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fare-you-alcohol-dependent%2F Alcohol dependence (alcoholism) is the most severe alcohol use disorder. People who meet three or more of the following criteria within 1 year are diagnosed with alcohol dependence: Evidence of tolerance Needing to drink more to get intoxicated The effects of alcohol intoxication are reduced with continued use of the same amount of alcohol Symptoms of withdrawal Examples of symptoms include sweating, nausea, vomiting, and anxiety The symptoms must not be due to another medical condition and must cause problems at work or in your personal life Repeatedly drinking more than intended Repeatedly unable to cut down or stop drinking, or a constant desire to do so Spending a lot of time drinking alcohol, recovering from the effects of alcohol, or obtaining alcohol Giving up other important ac... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3701812 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:03:01 +0100 3701812 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3687363&cid=t_161013_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Frecoveryissexy.com%2Fspouses-of-alcoholics%2F Alcoholic Partner’s Criticism Linked to Relapse – ‘But not All’ A new study published in Behavior Therapy apparently confirms that Ala-anon’s purpose of offering "understanding and encouragement" to those with drinking problems is best approach family members can take in dealing with the situation. The study, conducted by William Fals-Stewart of the State University of New York at Buffalo, found that men recovering from substance abuse are less successful if they believe their spouse or partner is critical of them, rather than supportive. The study found that of 106 married men studied, those who reported greater criticism from their partners were more likely to have relapsed, regardless of the severity of their drug problem, age or race. Al-Anon is a support group... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3687363 Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:55:00 +0100 3687363