MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'facing'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:18:03 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5131085&cid=t_107187_180_f&fid=38612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fpickthebrain%2FLYVv%2F%7E3%2Fm3rv7YjfbAs%2F ‘There are two driving forces in your life: love and fear. Love is your higher self. It is the place of pure intention and hope. When your higher self drives your life you are on purpose and empowered. Life surges through you; you thrive and society thrives because of it. Fear, of course, is its opposite and is your lower self. It is, unfortunately, the place from where the majority of us exist. When fear drives your life you stagnate and die. You don’t live your true purpose and you become dark and heavy and the world suffers as a result. Who is the driver of your life? Who are you allowing it to be? How do you know? Most of the time you don’t, as you are totally unaware of what is controlling you and your victim circumstances. Ask yourself. Are you living your true pas... PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5131085 Mon, 15 Aug 2011 10:21:52 +0100 5131085 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5086590&cid=t_107187_180_f&fid=38612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fpickthebrain%2FLYVv%2F%7E3%2FJOAObf3pdgE%2F The world lost a great person when Betty Ford passed away three weeks ago at the age of 93. Betty Ford was a courageous person who set a remarkably potent precedent for us all, especially when it comes to living a life without fear while keeping true to your core values. The Truth is Powerful and Liberating It’s easy to forget it in our current culture where we exchange minutia at the speed of a click, but once upon a yesteryear cancer was a topic approached only indirectly and not very often. Breast cancer was barely discussed at all. But Betty Ford faced cancer head on and chin up, staring right into cancer’s two fish eyes full of hate. She refused to bury the truth of her condition and was fiercly outspoken about both her masectomy and the disease itself. And Betty’s bravery bent... PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5086590 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 06:02:44 +0100 5086590 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4934334&cid=t_107187_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F14%2Flearning-how-to-die-the-handbook-for-mortals%2F In any bookstore, you will find aisles and aisles of self-help books coaching us how to live more fully, how to embrace life with passion, and how to age in a way that we aren’t getting older! But how to die? Are you kidding me? DEPRESSING! But we desperately need a teacher in this area. Because each of us is eventually going to perish, and how nice it would be to have a few guidelines as we are getting close. In their book, Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness, authors Joanne Lynn, MD, Joan Harrold, MD, and Janice Lynch Schuster, MFA discuss the topic of dying from several perspectives: living with serious illness, helping families make wise decisions, getting the help you need, controlling pain, planning ahead, and enduring loss. It is a comprehensive and in... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4934334 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:12:29 +0100 4934334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893820&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F06%2Fmake-me-daisy.html  Turmoil surrounded by sweet scented lilacs.Dandelion cottons looks like owlet feathers as they wait for the wind.My friend and I go for a long hike and muddy our shoes and legs in the coulees of Pepin County.And I pray, and I pray, and I pray that my life will soon be back to yellow. Bathed in sun. Flowers blooming, and my soul free to accept that gift from Father God.For now, I'll take the yellow that splurges out of the darkness, the buds cheerful against the dark foliage deep.Make me a flower, whose scent pleases you, Lord.Make me better as I become less.Fill all the holes in my soul Satan is diggingwith your love, grace, mercy, peace, long-suffering.  I don't want to be the corrugated metal panel patching up an old factory....we pray for you always, that our God wi... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893820 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 09:41:00 +0100 4893820 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4758897&cid=t_107187_131_f&fid=34989&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.b5media.com%2F%7Er%2Fb5media%2FGeneticsHealth%2F%7E3%2FvMgW3WYlfrg%2F In the UK, a nationally broadcast science series titled Inside The Human Body, which airs on BBC1, plans to air the peaceful death of an 84-year-old man, surrounded by his family. The show, which has previously documented conceptions, births, adolescence into adulthood, and the body’s natural defenses, will broadcast the man’s passing in an episode slated for May 12th. Hey, it’s not worse than anything I’ve seen on Fox’s Most Shocking High Speed Car Chases. We’re fed death and violence via airwaves daily. Between the bullet-hailstorms featured on cop dramas like Law & Order, to the magnified bloody innards of victims on CSI, we’ve become so attuned to seeing death and gore on TV, that when it happens to us in real life, the most popular comment... Genetics and Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4758897 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 17:05:51 +0100 4758897 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4532510&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F02%2Flove-will-not-betray-you.html Serve God, love me and menThis is not the endLive unbruised, we are friendsAnd I'm sorryI'm sorrySigh no more, no moreOne foot in sea one on shoreMy heart was never pureYou know meYou know meAnd man is a giddy thingLove - it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,It will set you freeBe more like the man you were made to be.There is a design,An alignment, the cryOf my heart to seeThe beauty of love as it was made to be~Sigh No More, Mumford and SonsThe basilica shines black against the white snowladen sky.I hover and take photos through the cracks behind the altar,and watch people pray.Yes, everything that has breath...Praise the Lord.Searching for the love that does not betray, dismay, enslave.The love that sets me free. (Source: Turquoise Gates) Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4532510 Tue, 01 Mar 2011 04:11:00 +0100 4532510 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4507546&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F02%2Fits-right-time.html There's a time for every season under heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1The snow falls in grainy powdery magnificence, and we make ice cream.Amy gets a genetic diagnosis.I face some ghosts from my past.A dream withers and dies.I panic around new people.And so I am told I have grief and I have to feel it.I'm improvising, and the ice cream falters for a few minutes,and the kids are crowded around throwing out ideas.I balk at this whole grief idea.I run from grief.It's how I survived as a nurse.It's how I've survived as a parent.It's how I've survived as a cancer patient.But this seems to be the season. And just like the ice cream, that comes together in sprinkled splediforousness, this season seems to be for grief in a lot of ways. I give grief a little window, a little wiggle room in that deep down da... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4507546 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:38:00 +0100 4507546 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4495388&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F02%2Fwhat-silence-speaks.html I'm going to put this in writing. Because I trust that someone out there has felt this way, needs to read this, needs to hear that someone else is in the same lonely place. Because writing it somehow brings the breath back into lungs spasming and the light back into eyes behind those squeezed-tight eyelids. Because I know somewhere someone else is crying out for help from Jesus as they put brick upon brick, slap mortar, build build build walls and hope they're invisible walls, walls nobody can see and will keep you safe in here forever. Because, if you read that I am right here, where you are feeling all alone, then you will know the truth - you who are like me, and not alone - and the truth will set you free. (John 8:32)Don’t let your bones turn to stoneCause you’re feeling so al... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4495388 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 06:00:00 +0100 4495388 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4489931&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F02%2Fwhen-god-seems-far-away.html I remember the moment clearly, when last He showed His face. It was only the second time in my life I felt like I had seen Him. Both times I was wrung out, wasted, worn, weary. The first time by the confounding decisions I faced as a single woman. This day, by the suffering of life...Amy's illness, the newly worsened drudgery of my days as a mom, failures at school and work, at home as wife and mother and housekeeper.So I flung myself like a rag doll across my bed, and my inner two year old showed herself in the hot tears and loud sobs. I heard the kids edging toward the closed door of the bedroom, but the sobs kept coming. And WHY? It wasn't as though someone had died or anything truly terrible had happened. I was undone by a whole list of small problems, that's all.Where are you? I sobbe... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4489931 Thu, 17 Feb 2011 10:09:00 +0100 4489931 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4399528&cid=t_107187_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fend-of-life-planning-makes-it-easier-to-say-goodbye%2F2011.01.25 This is a guest post by Dr. Barbara Okun and Dr. Joseph Nowinski. *********** End-Of-Life Planning Makes It Easier To Say Goodbye Saying goodbye as the end of life approaches can be difficult, even for those with a gift for words. In a moving account in a recent issue of The New Yorker, writer Joyce Carol Oates describes the last week of her 49-year marriage, as her husband was dying from complications of pneumonia. Like A Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion’s poignant memoir of her husband’s sudden death and its aftermath, Oates’ essay highlights the need for each of us to think about death and dying — and discuss them with loved ones — long before they become a likelihood. In our work with individuals and families facing death, we have seen too many people miss the op... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4399528 Tue, 25 Jan 2011 16:00:02 +0100 4399528 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4241917&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fweary-prayer.html I had my cancer doctor appointment yesterday. Potentially good news this time, which is a relief - but I won't know anything for sure until after my scan, which has now been set for "as early as possible". Given it is Christmastime, the "earliest possible" for me is January 3. I get injections the 3rd and 4th (Thyrogen - praising God anew for the insurance that allows me to pay for this $25,000 shortcut and remain on my medications). Then the electric blue pill - a mini dose of radioactive iodine 131 - for the scan on the 5th. After 9 a.m. on the 5th, I will be on my own without family once again. This is the hardest part of every year. You would think I'd be clamoring for a week off by this point, but I learned the hard way that it is an experience along the lines of "It's a Wonderful Lif... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4241917 Wed, 08 Dec 2010 14:55:00 +0100 4241917 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4233373&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F12%2Flooking-in-on-grief.html He left her - this whole earth - early in spring. Her jaw was tight and tears fell silent through all our conversations. We walked down the steep hill in back and cried with her while the children swung on the swings he built, played with the dogs he loved.Summer came and she seemed better, the tears weren't her constant companions any longer. She showed us the garden she somehow managed to plant and we marveled at the pumpkin vines growing thick amongst the weeds. Neighbors mowed her lawn and it seemed like every time we brought her a meal there was one still warm in the fridge, the gift of another helpless friend who brought food instead of words.Autumn. She seemed to be recovering. She talked more about her children and their futures than she did the husband she lost. She seemed to be s... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4233373 Mon, 06 Dec 2010 01:52:00 +0100 4233373 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4214538&cid=t_107187_180_f&fid=38612&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fpickthebrain%2FLYVv%2F%7E3%2FAxRAvdMlQv8%2F What is the single biggest roadblock to your dreams? Fear. Is fear of the unknown, fear of losing control, or fear of making the wrong decision keeping you from the life you’ve been longing to live? Is your confidence being sucked dry by your fears? I have the perfect antidote – gratitude. The power of gratitude is unrivaled by any other emotion, even love. In gratitude there can be no fear. If you don’t believe me, the next time you are afraid or worrying about the future, stop and be grateful for anything, then notice what happens. Just by thinking the words “I’m grateful for…” can change your entire outlook on life in that moment. Do you allow your fears to overcome you, forcing you into the fetal position, distracting you from the power of truth that lies deep within... PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4214538 Tue, 30 Nov 2010 16:32:16 +0100 4214538 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4207479&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F11%2Fback-and-forth.html Illness is the night-side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use only the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place. ~Susan SontagMy aunt was only sick a few weeks.Her sons couldn't bear the sharpness of spaded dirt falling on her in the grave.They dug with their hands instead,leaning deep in the hole to drop gently on the beloved.It's a different world, a different part of me whispered in the flat hushed land of the reservation. I think these men do intuitive better than most. Rules matter less here.I remember them both...lovers in old age, uncle with the chaotic over... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4207479 Mon, 29 Nov 2010 00:46:00 +0100 4207479 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4055922&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F10%2Falways-goodor-never-good.html We know from all his writings that Paul trusted not only that God is sovereign, but also that his character is faithful and good (1 Thessalonians 5:24). It's critical for Christians to believe this, too. Why? Because without these additional attributes, we could view an absolutely sovereign God as a potential big bully. If I can't trust that God is always good and faithful, then God goes on trial with each particular circumstance of my life. I become the doubter who's like the waves of the sea, always being tossed about (James 1:6).Of course, it's easy to say I'm confident that God's faithful when I've escaped a negative situation, but is he still faithful when the friend I've lifted up in prayer for more than 30 years has never returned to faith in Jesus? Or when I was diagnosed with brea... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4055922 Mon, 11 Oct 2010 15:00:00 +0100 4055922 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4053463&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F10%2Fgentle-teacher.html Amy took 36 hours of hard labor to enter this world. I remember being up for two full nights with no sleep, and feeling rather more like a limp noodle than a radiant new mother when she finally emerged!  It was the sweetest, purest of my four labors, with my mom singing and whispering verses through the whole thing. My grandma Fern was in the hospital at the same time, and the poignancy of that book-ends experience - one leaving this earth and one entering it - has stayed with me ever since. Two verses comforted me through the long second night of labor pain and effort, as I felt my body literally broken to "deliver" the sweet treasure housed within: But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be in God, and not of us. (II Corinthians 4:7) And we... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4053463 Sat, 09 Oct 2010 16:23:00 +0100 4053463 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4045357&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F10%2Fwhispers.html My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world....you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. But the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie — just as it has taught you, abide in him. And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. ~ I John 20: 1-2, 20, 27-28 ~I hear the whispers in the quiet communion between these tw... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4045357 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 01:29:00 +0100 4045357 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4003064&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Fwhat-suffering-says-about-prosperity.html These days are filled with troubleAnd the nights feel like they’re all getting longerThese days are dark and greyLike that storm rolling in across the waterThere’s a strong wind blowingI push on it pushes backIt’s a hard timeBut I know I’ll get through itJust gotta lean into itThis ain’t where I thought I’d beIf I could I’d stop it now and I’d rewind itBut this ain’t where I’m gonna fallIf there’s a way to fightI know I’m gonna find it~ Lean Into It, Little Big TownMoments with my nephew - the "cousin-twin" to the baby I lost - in the morning sun.Today, in church, I listened with questions swirling: am I experiencing the blessings and benefits of being a child of God?  To outward appearances, perhaps not.  I'm tired.  The dark circles around my eyes, ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4003064 Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:01:00 +0100 4003064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3987208&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Ftongues.html My Bible fell open to Acts 2 yesterday morning, the scene in which the Holy Spirit descends on the early church  on the Day of Pentecost.  So many times of late, I feel like I am speaking the wrong language...or at least a different one.  I remember a mission trip to Honduras, when I, by some magical interjection of the Holy Spirit into my stubborn brain, demonstrated fluency enough in Spanish to see patients without an interpreter for several whole days at a time.  I remember coming home to the States the next week and trying to speak to a Hispanic patient, and fumbling over a basic word I'd learned many years prior.  That experience taught me that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us, at times, with that gift of tongues...that New Testament kind of "tongues" where y... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3987208 Mon, 20 Sep 2010 13:06:00 +0100 3987208 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3872724&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F08%2Funfading-beauty.html Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.  For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves... (I Peter 3:3-5a)It's been months now since the rock garden was resplendent with the cobalt blue of the hyancinth standing tall in the back corner.  I took these photos in the early days of summer, in Amelia's worst month of seizures, as I tried to keep house maintained and children safe and my own brain sane.  Every day Rosy brought me a nosegay of wildflowers: daisies and butter-and-eggs, bachelor's buttons, asters, thistle... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3872724 Sun, 15 Aug 2010 10:36:00 +0100 3872724 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3862165&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F08%2Fbroken-china-is-still-china.html "In the darkness of despair and the prison of pain, we often say things that we later regret, but God understands all about it and lovingly turns a deaf ear to our words but a tender eye to our wounds." ~ Pause for Power, Warren W. WiersbeMy mother brought me a china plate for my collection of mismatched china (we eat off beauty every day) and I promptly broke it.  The very next day.  My first reaction, unfortunately, is still to throw a tantrum.  I remember her warning me, as a teenager, that I if I chose that agitated state of heart in the quiet of my room and privacy of my brain, it would settle in and become a habit that was nearly impossible to break.  And, I regret to say, I went on heedlessly...nay, obstinately...and let it settle in.  Now I struggle with th... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3862165 Thu, 12 Aug 2010 16:55:00 +0100 3862165 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3858342&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F08%2Finevitable-let-down.html Apparently, there still exists a very disturbing paragraph in the legislative code of the great State of Wisconsin, chapter N1 in the Board of Nursing code for accreditation of "professional programs of study":(c) A nurse faculty member who teaches nursing courses in a professional nursing program shall hold a current license to practice as a registered nurse in Wisconsin, have at least 2 years of full−time or equivalent direct care experience as a practicing nurse, be employed in nursing within the last 5 years and hold a master’s degree with a major in nursing.Somehow, I am apparently supposed to:Study for a doctorate degreeKeep working as a nurseAND obtain a master's degree...regardless of the fact that I've already shown that I've mastered doctoral content and e... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3858342 Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:42:00 +0100 3858342 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3787103&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F07%2Fchronology.html Reading the lyrics of "Wonder" by Natalie Merchant the other day brought me back.  Made me think some things over.  I had to scan a few photos in for another post, photos from my childhood album.  This is my favorite picture in that album.  Whenever I start thinking I might be making some headway in this photography hobby of mine, I look back and I am reminded that I have a long way to go to match my dad's black and white film and Canon A1 with it's old kit lens...a photojournalists camera, his first major purchase as a high school student.I remember fainting and nearly dying at a friend's wedding when I was in high school.  I remember them thinking I was pregnant and hemorrhaging or something, and how I said a thousand times through gritted teeth that was impossib... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3787103 Sun, 25 Jul 2010 11:34:00 +0100 3787103 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3726745&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F07%2Flamenting-loss-of-normalcy.html Sometimes it just hits you in the gut like a ton of bricks.  There is nothing left in your life that is normal.  You watch, on Facebook, at church, through blogs and e-mails, as your friends and most of your family progress through a "normal" life, with fun pictures of holidays, updates about jobs, all the little details that make up "normal".  And you realize there is nothing left you can claim as normal.  I found a photo taken a few weeks before we lost normal.  What brings the tears the quickest is my children, my husband.  He looks so young.  I look at Caleb - just born - and Amelia, not even 2.  They don't remember "normal".  I see Katy's innocence.  I had never asked to learn to do laundry or cook a meal or clean a bathroom yet. &nbsp... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3726745 Mon, 05 Jul 2010 19:30:00 +0100 3726745 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3524433&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F05%2Fin-drifts-of-soul.html And maybe the answer is that, whether we realize it or not, every moment is our testimony before a world who has Christ on trial. (Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience)I don't have energy for every moment being a testimony. I am picking a dried-up soul up off the floor today, dragging it around to do dishes, sort winter and summer clothes, tidy up the house. Trying to find something edible for dinner. Why, why, why, Father? The world is bursting with the green that comes after the storm. And my heart is still cold, in the drifts, the pale yellow of last summer's dried husks like the memory of a different life that swells within.Read Psalm 22 today and felt a bit better. I wonder if it is coincidence that Psalm 22 is followed by Psalm 23? According to the Jewish oral/textual tradition, both the o... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3524433 Sat, 01 May 2010 16:40:00 +0100 3524433 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3159952&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fjesus-sought-me-when-stranger.html I long to reclaim a toddler's spirit of faith. All it takes to make a beautiful day, peace and safety, is Papa. My niece, Susan, here ignores the cold floor, the lack of a proper bed to sleep in at night, and a dozen other comforts she might have desired, if she had thought of them. But her gaze is fixed upon her Papa. She finds all the beauty, peace, safety and comfort she desires there in his eyes.Through the daily sufferings and disappointments, may my eyes never be removed from the face of my Father. O to grace, how great a debtor! Daily I'm constrained to be. Grace that brought me home for eternity through the Cross. Grace that preserved my life through the latest surgery and infection. Grace that knows every day between my beginning and end. How His kindness yet pursues me, mortal to... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3159952 Sun, 10 Jan 2010 17:42:00 +0100 3159952 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3079539&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fhollow.html There is so much that is raw right now. It stops up my words, all this pain that threatens to bubble over the top and consume my days. I find comfort in the darkest books of the Bible...Lamentations, Daniel, Joel, Habakkuk, Isaiah, some of the Psalms. In a season that is all about praise, I am more on my knees in wordless agony of emptiness and concomitant desperation of waiting for resolution. Waiting for heaven. I had two miscarriages before this one, and I haven't ever suffered so. There is something so tangible about this baby...my sister-in-law down the street, one of my dearest friends. Calling me to tell me her baby is moving. Her baby that she found out about two days before I found out about mine. It just seems so cruel that I have to suffer this now, that I will suffer this for t... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3079539 Fri, 11 Dec 2009 05:46:00 +0100 3079539 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3023385&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fanother-november.html November hasn't been a friendly month for our family, two years running. The oppressiveness of the vista surrounding us is a visual reflection of the darkness of circumstance and spirit that pervades. Death seeps in all autumn, reaching its zenith in this gray, muddy month of wavering between the seasons. Last year, cancer. This year, giving over a child yet unborn and yielding another we've cherished these three long years, submitting bodies to knives in surgery, and waiting almost desperately for the healing hand as the hours tick by without relief.We know it will arrive, come December. The death scene of autumn's last waning warmth finally gives way to the blanket of rebirth that protects the deep secrets of the earth through the long winter. December is the resurrection of light and sp... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3023385 Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:43:00 +0100 3023385 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3023386&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fwhy.html My heart cries to you out of the darknessI am laid low in this caveMy soul finds no peaceon a bed of stone all the night longYou are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.Where is your miraculous hand, O God?Why are you silent now,when you spoke so loudly in days past?The troubles of my heart are enlarged: O bring thou me out of my distresses!Why did you shatter my illusions when I came to you for help?Why did you allow that hour of happinesswhen you knew the pain to come?I am content in a place of peace and mediocrityYet you draw me forth to the valleys and mountaintopsto revel in your glory,and to descend into pits and call out your name.But you are he that took me out of the womb:you made me hope when I was but a babe upon my mother's... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3023386 Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:50:00 +0100 3023386 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2999827&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fwhat-time-i-am-afraid_16.html , I will trust in Thee; In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. Thy vows are upon me, O God: I will render praises unto thee. For thou hast delivered my soul from death: wilt not thou deliver my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living? (from Psalm 56, KJV)I received a call from the neurologist today. Amelia has been formally diagnosed with Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis (ADEM), a form of leukodystrophy. She may also have Vanishing White Matter Disease (VWM), another much more severe form of leukodystrophy. The diagnosis of this, or exclusion of it as a potential diagnosis, will be made over time after one or more additional MRIs have been taken. I think it is reasonable that all of you who ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2999827 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 01:08:00 +0100 2999827 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2858872&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F09%2Fin-dark-places.html He reveals deep and hidden things; He knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with Him. I thank and praise You, O God of my fathers... Daniel 2:22-23aAlas, I have not had time nor energy to update this or visit all my normal blog haunts this week. The Crypto continues to rage in our household. I beg your prayers. Our annual church camp is this weekend and I am slated to play music in our annual family band. Without some dramatic improvements, most of the children and I will be stuck home. It's the third week now, and it feels as though the light may never shine at the end of this long, dark tunnel. I find it wryly humorous that an intestinal parasite visible only by microscope has brought me to my knees in frustration and desperation in many ways that cancer several inches long could... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2858872 Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:16:00 +0100 2858872 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2858891&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F08%2Fhow-to-respond.html Getting to know someone through their writing is undoubtedly difficult. Even the most eloquent writer fails to capture the entirety of life within the limitations of their character alphabet, those finite combinations of letters and sounds that meld together as in imperfect portrait in text. Just like the rest of the art forms, what comes through is a collection of impressions, viewpoints, ideas. But not the whole. I realize I may have been remiss in filling in the blanks in my attempt to be succinct and more contemplative in style, to the exclusion of reporting hard facts and boring details. So here, in a few bullet points, I aim to make more clear my vision for this, my life, in the next five years, adoption included.1) School is one of my great joys. I love being a student and look forw... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2858891 Mon, 24 Aug 2009 23:20:00 +0100 2858891 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2879683&cid=t_107187_123_f&fid=39041&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdrnabong.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F04%2Frear-facing-car-seats-safer-for.html Children under the age of 12-23 months riding in a rear-facing car seat are more than 5 times safer than children of the same age on a front-facing car seat. According to the first US data riding rear facing up to 2 years of age is safer for children. (Henary N, Inj Prev 2007;13:398-402). This is in accordance with the American Academy of Pediatrics.All infants should ride rear-facing in an infant car seatthe infant should be switched to a rear-facing convertible car seat once the maximum height(within 1 inch from the head to the top of the seat) and weight(usually 22-32 pounds) have been reached.Toddlers should be rear-facing till they reach the maximum height,weight(recommended by the manufacturer), or at least 2 years of age.In Sweden, children are rear-facing in the car until they are ... Dr Nabong's Pediatric Blogs blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2879683 Tue, 07 Apr 2009 19:59:00 +0100 2879683 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1727809&cid=t_107187_136_f&fid=37846&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhealthinfoispower.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F07%2F16%2Fpov-documentary-in-the-family-one-womans-journey-through-the-unpredictable-world-of-predicative-genetic-testing%2F “At the age of 27, filmmaker Joanna Rudnick tested positive for the BRCA mutation. Joanna now faces an impossible decision: remove her healthy breasts and ovaries or risk incredible odds of developing cancer. Armed with a positive test result that leaves her essentially “a ticking time bomb,” she balances dreams of having her [...] (Source: Libby's H*O*P*E*) Libby's H*O*P*E* blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1727809 Wed, 16 Jul 2008 22:51:22 +0100 1727809 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=501621&cid=t_107187_87_f&fid=34865&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thecancerblog.com%2F2007%2F03%2F26%2Fthought-for-the-day-pink-is-the-new-black%2F Filed under: Breast Cancer, Prevention, Fundraisers, Thought for the DayNot everyone buys into the power of pink when it comes to breast cancer. Pink ribbons, pink teddy bears, pink hats, shirts, scarves, socks, purses, jewelry, magnets, and even cooking appliances have monopolized the breast cancer market. And some people just plain refuse to associate the disease with anything remotely sweet, soft, and soothing.Think about this: Annette`s Angels, founded in 2006 by the children of Annette Roberta, love and applaud the effectiveness of the flood of pink used to raise awareness about a disease that took Roberta after a 15-year battle. But they refuse to embrace any color but black as they proceed to kick breast cancer in the butt. Black reflects their anger at breast cancer. And their powe... The Cancer Blog blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=501621 Mon, 26 Mar 2007 04:00:00 +0100 501621