MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'family and friends'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 02:43:46 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5169572&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F08%2F27%2F5-tips-for-staying-calm-in-a-hurricane%2F When hurricanes or tropical storms are forecast to reach us, we often go into a panic and fear the worst about the coming storm. The uncertainty of the storm provokes a certain in anxiety in most of us. Some of those fears are very real, as government officials ask residents to evacuate areas directly in the path of the hurricane. Low-lying areas are especially at risk for flooding. Calm is a hard emotion to muster when our entire environment is turning against us. It is ever harder to remain calm when you’re asked to evacuate your home, and live in a shelter or with a family member for a few days. Will my home still be standing when I return? What about my most cherished possessions? Even folks who aren’t asked to evacuate fear the loss of electricity to their homes, and wheth... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5169572 Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:18:51 +0100 5169572 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5050715&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F21%2Ftaking-your-teen-to-a-therapist%2F It’s hard enough knowing when you need to see a therapist and navigating the entire process from picking a professional to making the most of your time once you do. (Here are some tips, by the way.) But doing this for your teen can seem outright overwhelming. Educating yourself on the process, however, helps immensely. Below, clinical psychologist John Duffy, Psy.D, who works with teens and authored the book The Available Parent: Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens, discusses everything from telltale signs to see a therapist to talking to your child to making the most of therapy. When Your Teen Needs Therapy According to Duffy, the time to take your teen to a therapist is “when you note a marked change in either her affect, her behavior, or both,” especially “if the chan... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5050715 Thu, 21 Jul 2011 12:06:53 +0100 5050715 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4997615&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F04%2Fhappy-independence-day-2011%2F We’re celebrating our Independence Day here in the U.S., so I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and safe day of celebration. The United States is celebrating our 235th birthday today. I’m honored and blessed to be living in a pretty great country (although, like every society, we certainly have our flaws). The United States was born of great dissatisfaction with the way the people were then being governed, especially an ever-increasing and seemingly never-ending tax burden. Today’s United States faces some of the same concerns — taxes keep going up while government takes on more and more. Let’s hope it never gets to another Revolution, but at the same time, I hope our politicians remember that their citizens don’t have endless pockets.... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4997615 Mon, 04 Jul 2011 11:11:55 +0100 4997615 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4953393&cid=t_356370_160_f&fid=36189&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skinmdblog.com%2F517%2Fprotect-your-skin-this-summer%2F It’s the summer and while you proceed to spend some fun in the sun with your family and friends, it’s important that you properly protect your skin from overexposure—too much sun can lead not only to painful sunburns, but skin cancer and early skin aging such as unattractive wrinkles and sun spots as well. But when it comes to selecting the best sunscreen for you and/or your family, sometimes it’s confusing. So confusing in fact, that the Food and Drug Administration has mandated new sun screen regulations so that consumers can better understand labels and get the protection they need. Under the new regulations, which will take effect next summer, sunscreens will now have to pass a “broad spectrum” test before they can be placed on the market. This test will... Skin MD blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4953393 Mon, 20 Jun 2011 18:31:52 +0100 4953393 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4893557&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F02%2Frun-like-a-girl-how-sports-can-empower-you%2F I never considered myself an athlete. My twin sister grew up with the reputation of being the tomboy of the family, the sporty one who participated in soccer and other organized sports. I was the brain and artsy one, who spent more time practicing my scales and arpeggios on our baby grand piano and perfecting pirouettes in the dance studio. I was intimidated by sports. And I found that I had absolutely no coordination once you threw a ball into the competition. So out were softball, volleyball, soccer, and pretty much every other sport. I swam during the summer and for my high school, and I started running in junior high, but just to lose enough weight to stop my period (I was a tad anorexic). I continued jogging and swimming through college into early adulthood. But just to stay in shape.... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4893557 Thu, 02 Jun 2011 16:37:03 +0100 4893557 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4203159&cid=t_356370_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Ffeeling-pretty-thankful%2F2010.11.25 It’s Thanksgiving here in the States, and I’m feeling pretty thankful. While the day is reserved for turning hand tracings into turkeys, it’s also a good day to highlight what I’m thankful for this year: I’m thankful that we have a backyard that the cats can go [potty] in, because I was tired of cleaning that litterbox. (And I’m also secretly glad that our neighbors have a ridiculous cat that comes over and starts trouble with ours, because when they pile into the bushes out back and cause the shrubbery to vibrate with their Andy Capp-style battles, it cracks me right up.) I’m thankful for our family and friends, who have helped Chris and I adjust to our new lives as “parents” and who make “home” a place that matters.... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4203159 Fri, 26 Nov 2010 00:00:21 +0100 4203159 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4200562&cid=t_356370_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fthanksgiving-and-your-priorities%2F2010.11.25 Here is my column in [the November 21st] Greenville News: This Thanksgiving we will have 32 guests at the table. Rather, at the tables we scatter about the dining room…and living room…and kitchen. At our house, food is practically a sacrament. And obviously Thanksgiving is the high holiday of American eating. So we will be honoring the tradition by feeding everyone as much as we can. Because the guests are all beloved to us, we will also have a variety of foods, in a variety of presentations. For instance, there will be fresh cranberries for organic purists, as well as a maroon gelatinous mass of cranberries for those who feel that cranberries indeed spring from aluminum. The turkeys will be divided perfectly among dark and light meat lovers. And for the carb-loving, there will be s... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4200562 Thu, 25 Nov 2010 13:00:38 +0100 4200562 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4200603&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F11%2F25%2Fhappy-thanksgiving-2010%2F If it’s November and you live in the U.S., chances are you’re going to find yourself eating some turkey today. Happy Thanksgiving! At this time of the year, it’s also traditional to give thanks for what we have. We’re a nation of bounty and plenty, even during these tough economic times. Most of us have the luxury of having a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and warmth in the cold. These are simple things we take for granted everyday. But I want to really thank you for reading Psych Central’s World of Psychology blog all year long. This has been the 10th year I’ve regularly been blogging, and it’s 10 years I’ve really enjoyed. So thank you for reading. I also want to thank our members, because without people who’ve made the ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4200603 Thu, 25 Nov 2010 12:29:59 +0100 4200603 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4151878&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F11%2F09%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-november-9-2010%2F I’ve had quite a bit of visitors in the month of October. And while it was fun and I was grateful for their company, it was exhausting. It reminded me of the upcoming holiday season. Giving me a preview of what’s to come in the next few months. The good thing is that I learned something during the parade of October visitors that may help you get through the season with friends and family peacefully. Conflict often occurs because of misunderstanding and miscommunication. You may, for example, have gone to therapy and learned ways to take care of yourself. But your family hasn’t done the same. Returning to the home you grew up in and the life you used to live sometimes means that those who knew you before, may not know how to interact with you now. Here’s where my tip... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4151878 Tue, 09 Nov 2010 11:59:46 +0100 4151878 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4045144&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F10%2F08%2Fblack-pain-an-african-american-woman-exposes-stigma-in-the-black-community%2F I first learned about the (even greater than among white folks) stigma of mental illness in the Black community when I participated in a six-week outpatient program at Laurel Hospital. Half the group was African American, and I got to hear their stories, which horrified me. Most of them could not reveal to any member in their family what they were doing (the outpatient program) because the stigma is so deep and tall and wide. My heart went out to them. Without support from the community, or at least family and friends, how does a person recover? So I was delighted to hear bestselling author and licensed social worker Terri M. Williams speak at the Mental Health America this summer. She inscribed for me a copy of her evocative and insightful book Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re N... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4045144 Fri, 08 Oct 2010 17:55:03 +0100 4045144 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4031305&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F10%2F04%2Fits-all-in-your-head-living-with-chronic-illness%2F Somewhere I read that properly diagnosing a chronic illness can take from two to three years. Many of you wait even longer. In the meantime, while the doctors scratch their heads, we’re expected to be happy we’re alive. And that’s if they don’t write us off with “It’s psychological.” It took a year and three doctors before I was diagnosed with scleroderma. Just remembering what I went through during that year-from-hell gets my blood boiling and I know I was one of the lucky ones. If you are experiencing symptoms but don’t have a diagnosis yet, here are some tips that I hope will help you get through this trying time a little easier. Trust yourself. You are not crazy. Physicians have referred many people to me before they had a diagnosis, even... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4031305 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 23:11:56 +0100 4031305 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3942836&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F09%2F07%2Fwhat-not-to-say-to-someone-with-panic-disorder%2F Imagine this: you’re allergic to cats. You’ve just been exposed to cat dander and your eyes are a soggy, drippy red mess. You sneeze uncontrollably multiple times in a row. Your skin becomes itchy, red, and full of welts. You’re feeling pretty miserable. A friend walks up to you. “Hey, no worries,” he exclaims casually, “there’s nothing to be allergic to!” Uh, what? “Sure there is — I’m allergic to cats,” you’d probably say. “Nah,” says your friend, “just stop sneezing. You’ll be okay.” “What?! I can’t just STOP sneezing on a dime,” you retort. “Sure you can. There’s nothing wrong with you,” he insists. “Uhm, care to explain these welts, then? And the red eyes? And the sneezing?!” Sounds frustrating, doesn’t it? If you suffe... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3942836 Wed, 08 Sep 2010 01:46:49 +0100 3942836 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3724473&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F07%2F04%2Fhappy-independence-day-2010%2F We’re celebrating our Independence Day here in the U.S., so I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and safe day of celebration. The United States is celebrating our 234th birthday today. I’m honored and blessed to be living in a pretty great country (although, like every society, we certainly have our flaws). It’s a great day to sit outside (if you can stand the heat — another day of 95 F degree weather here in New England), fire up the barbecue, and share good times with family and friends. On behalf of everyone here at Psych Central, here’s wishing your July 4th is a happy and joyous occasion (free of any family arguments or strife). Please enjoy the day! (Source: World of Psychology) World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3724473 Sun, 04 Jul 2010 13:07:55 +0100 3724473 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3656839&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F06%2F13%2Four-brains-on-technology%2F Is technology taking over our lives? Or do some people just make choices with regard to choosing technology over interacting with their family and friends? I don’t believe that “technology” can take over our lives — unless we choose to let it. So it was with interest that I saw a lengthy article written over at the New York Times, “Hooked on Gadgets, and Paying a Mental Price.” I was going to comment earlier on the article, thinking it was going to be this thoughtful, in-depth look at how technology is impacting people’s lives for both the positive and negative. Instead, it appeared to be some sort of story revolving around a guy called Kord Campbell and his family. Kord apparently has a hard time prioritizing things in his life — to the poin... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3656839 Sun, 13 Jun 2010 10:21:44 +0100 3656839 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3522674&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F05%2F01%2Fhealthy-nutrition-through-behavior-modification%2F For the past two years I have been attempting to manage my weight through behavior modification, healthy eating and exercise. After losing 190 pounds with diet and exercise, I can assume that I am very capable of making healthy choices; however, this past weekend illustrated how emotions can contribute to slipups in the healthy lifestyle department. I am as human as anyone else and I ended my week with a weight gain. Through each painful experience I have learned much about managing my emotions. Finding my inner balance may always be a struggle for me and many of you as well. The important factor in finding my inner balance is to modify my behavior through discipline and goal setting. The negative factor in my equation of healthy lifestyle choices are unforeseen events, which by their very... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3522674 Sat, 01 May 2010 13:15:51 +0100 3522674 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3490824&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fthank-you-all-.html During this recent rough patch, my friends and readers have really stepped up to help me, and I want to thank you all. Readers sent money, even though the Donate Button post was buried fairly deep in my blog and they had to search for it. I pay for a good part of my daily expenses with the donations to my blog, which average several hundred dollars a month. I haven't gone back to add up the total for 2009 yet, but the largest donation I have received was $3,000 (I cried) and the smallest was $5 from a college student who apologized for not sending more (I also cried).Most are in the $20 to $50 range, and most come from people who are also living with cancer and don't have a lot of money to spare. That really touches my heart. I'm using one donation to buy vege... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3490824 Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:28:42 +0100 3490824 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3231763&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fthe-daughter-i-never-had.html I don't complain about my life much, because I've gotten pretty much everything I ever wanted in life--a lot of education (two master's degrees), interesting work, loyal friends, and two wonderful sons. One thing I wanted but never had, however, was a daughter. That's one thing cancer took from me. When I went to see my ob/gyn for a routine exam in the fall of 1998 when I was 43, one of the things we talked about was how easy or difficult it would be for me to get pregnant at that age. Because I was considering it. I was a single mom, though, and I didn't really think I could spread myself that thin--there was only one of me for my two demanding, active sons, and adding a baby to the household would not really be fair to them.Or so I decided at the tim... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3231763 Tue, 02 Feb 2010 10:13:03 +0100 3231763 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3205075&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fmodern-family-and-my-family.html  The one big complaint that I have about the TV show "Modern Family" is that it took American television, conservatively, 25 years to catch up with reality. I know, I know, what else is new? Older Son, adopted in Japan, is 25 years old. The baby Lily on the show, adopted from China, is to my knowledge the first Asian adoptee character on TV. (Older Son is not the only child in my family adopted from Asia. One of my cousins has a daughter who was born in South Korea.)The gay couple? My sons have had a gay "uncle" all their lives--one of my closest friends going back to high school in Hoquiam, Washington. Dan was more of an uncle to my sons than my brother ever was. The blended family with the much-younger bombshell Hispanic wife and her kid? We do... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3205075 Sun, 24 Jan 2010 20:50:41 +0100 3205075 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3189348&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F01%2Flate-night-emails.html I'm not quite sure why, but the most heart-wrenching e-mails seem to land in my mailbox the middle of the night. Sometimes, like tonight, I'm awake and I can reply right away. Other times, I see it the next morning, and I wonder what the person did after sending a cry for help in my direction--did they go to bed and fall asleep, or did they stay awake, wondering or worrying? OK, enough of that. I'm freaking myself out here. Here is the e-mail that just arrived, from a parent--I'm not sure if this is a father or a mother--of a man with very advanced melanoma. My only son was diagnosed with melanoma in 2007 and it went to the armpit, lymph nodes, and then last year he was on interferon for one year, but after six months, last July was found to have mel... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3189348 Wed, 20 Jan 2010 05:35:47 +0100 3189348 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3176081&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fhow-many-friends-do-you-need.html It's another dark and rainy afternoon in Seattle, perfect for brooding on questions for which there are no real answers. Or no one right answer, anyway. I like that kind of question.The topic that I've been thinking about today, ever since my good friend Laurie picked me up for water aerobics because I didn't want to drive, is: How many friends does one woman need?Laurie is a special friend. I know I can call her in the middle of the night. I feel comfortable asking her to drive just because I'd rather not (with many other people, I would suck it up and drive myself rather than show weakness ... I know, I know). And she knows most, if not all, of my secrets. My friend Monica is another friend like this. She has come to my rescue when I was melting down. She has ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3176081 Thu, 14 Jan 2010 23:30:14 +0100 3176081 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2606033&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F07%2F16%2Fwhy-relationships-change-after-marriage-and-why-loyalty-brings-happiness%2F A recent Northwestern University study found that what makes a person a good dating partner might not determine who is a suitable spouse. For couples in both a dating relationship and a marriage, an important contributor to a satisfying relationship is an understanding that a partner will help the other achieve his/her dreams. That’s huge for married couples, too, but in the married relationship, it is even more substantial that the partner upholds his/her part of the commitment pledged before taking vows. Explains Daniel Molden, assistant professor at Northwestern University and lead author of the study: In other words, the feelings of being loved and supported that people use to judge who makes a good girlfriend or boyfriend may not be completely trustworthy in deciding who makes... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2606033 Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:56:36 +0100 2606033 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2570605&cid=t_356370_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F07%2F04%2Fhappy-independence-day-2%2F We’re celebrating our Independence Day here in the U.S. today, so I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you all a happy and safe day of celebration. We’re celebrating our 233rd birthday today, but please don’t call us old (even though we’re technically older than many modern European countries). We’re just “mature.” It’s a great day to sit outside (weather permitting here in New England, where summer has gotten off to a decidedly soggy start), fire up the barbecue, and share good times with family and friends. On behalf of everyone here at Psych Central, here’s wishing your July 4th be a happy and joyous occasion (free of any family arguments or strife). Enjoy! (Source: World of Psychology) World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2570605 Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:11:51 +0100 2570605 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2326688&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2009%2F04%2Fcomparing-our-grief-credentials.html This is a personal story, one that has been a painful memory for me for a long time. My father died of cancer, as I've said before, and my cousin, who was exactly two weeks older than me, died in a car crash when she was 20 or 21. So my mother lost her husband, and my aunt lost her daughter. They are sisters, and have never really gotten along. But this is the painful memory part: At one point, my mother and aunt actually had an argument about which was more painful: To lose your husband or to lose your child. I find this appalling, and my point is this: What is the point of comparing griefs and saying, "My grief is greater than your grief"? What does that prove?I bring this up now because some of the comments added to my post about the Hallmark ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2326688 Thu, 09 Apr 2009 17:04:10 +0100 2326688 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2152814&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2009%2F02%2Fworrying-about-debutaunt.html I haven't heard much from my dear friend Debutaunt in quite a while. She hasn't posted to her blog since early December, but I had heard from her via e-mail more recently than that, and then a couple of weeks ago I had an e-mail from one of her sisters. Deb had to go back to M.D. Anderson for another transplant, but things didn't go so well. I checked her sister's flickr site today, and it said that Deb had had a heart attack last night. She's in the ICU, I believe. If anyone in our tight bloggers circle has heard anything more recent, please let me know. And for now, lots of prayers for Debs and her daughter Zoe, the Wonder Child. @ Jeanne Sather 2009.  (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2152814 Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:05:44 +0100 2152814 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2094706&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2009%2F01%2Fcast-of-characters.html New to my blog? Here's the Cast of Characters to help you make sense of it all. JeanneThe author of this blog. An outspoken advocate for the cancer patient’s point of view.   “Even after 10 years living with cancer, I still don’t see myself as a sick person. It’s just not part of who I am.” Read more: About Jeanne Car Guy  Car Guy came into my life because of the Red Corvair. No one should own a car like this 1964 classic without someone like Car Guy for a friend … but that was only the beginning. Read more: Car Guy  Older Son The first glimpse I had of Older Son was a snapshot of him taken when he was just a few months old and living in an orphanage in Kumamoto, Japan. “Do you want this baby?” I was asked. Read ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2094706 Sat, 10 Jan 2009 21:30:16 +0100 2094706 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1872975&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fgreat-headline-on-msnbc-is-my-cancer-upsetting-you.html Actually, the headline on the story, which was posted earlier this month was: "Is My Breast Cancer Upsetting You?"And my first response was a heartfelt ABOUT TIME! that something I've been writing about for 10 years now is finally coming into the mainstream.It was pretty early in my 10 year dance with cancer that I realized that I was using up an awful lot of emotional energy reassuring friends that everything would be OK--when I was the one who had cancer!And it took me YEARS, literally, before I was able to close the emotional window on these people who were draining my precious energy (chemo fatigue is real, folks) and do it guilt-free. We are that conditioned to feeling that we have to be supportive of everyone who "needs" us. For the record, my short list... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1872975 Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:21:22 +0100 1872975 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1859380&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F10%2Fwhat-do-you-want-instead-of-a-pink-ribbon.html Those of you breast cancer patients and survivors who hate pink ribbons, please take a moment and post a comment below telling me what you would rather have instead of a pink glitter duck or a pink-ribbon eyebrow tweezer. (Do you even HAVE eyebrows? I draw mine on with a pencil, on the days I remember.) I tend to think that the things that help are simple gifts, of your time, of your attention, given from the heart. If you know someone who has cancer, whether it's breast cancer or not, celebrate October by:   ***Offering to clean his/her bathroom.   ***Going to the grocery store (and paying for the groceries, if you can afford it).   ***Offering to bring over popcorn and a movie and staying to watch it together. Here's a quote from J... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1859380 Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:09:32 +0100 1859380 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1825388&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F09%2Fwe-arent-saints-and-our-partners-arent-ministering-angels.html This post is a follow-up to one I wrote the other day, called "Yes, I Could Die on You," and it also belongs in the Cancer Myths category. The first myth is that all of us with serious, possibly terminal illnesses, such as metastatic cancer, will be totally saint-like as we live with these diseases. The second myth is that our partners will turn into ministering angels, never mind that they were imperfect mortals who fainted at the sight of blood, BC (before cancer). Neither of these expectations is realistic, but boy are they strong in our culture!We need to cut ourselves a break, and go ahead and bitch and whine and moan (and break plates!) when we need to, and our partners need to have the freedom to do the same. I think it's this pressure to be a perfect an... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1825388 Tue, 23 Sep 2008 20:52:50 +0100 1825388 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1531032&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F06%2Fone-perfect-day.html My life expectancy is short, and as a result I find myself, all too often, living life on fast forward--trying to do everything that I want to do, NOW. But even while I am fast forwarding, I am very aware that the quality of a life (for me, anyway) is not measured by how much you do, but by the happiness you get from each day. And to remind me yet again, every so often, I have One Perfect Day. Yesterday was such a day. I got up late, at 9 (sleep ... blissful sleep), edited a couple of papers for my students, and then took off in Car Guy's little Honda sportcar for the ferry that leaves from West Seattle for Southworth, on the other side of Puget Sound. That's where my aunt lives, my mother's older sister, who is now 83. I had the top down, of course, and I was taking along some let... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1531032 Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:18:24 +0100 1531032 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1458405&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F05%2Ffor-zoe.html This photo is a postcard to Zoe, daughter of Debutaunt, and now my honorary niece. (Well, I'm her honorary aunt, so I guess the reverse is true.) Zoe just had her first communion, and the great photos are on Debs' blog. Zoe visited my house for dinner with her mom (and the Debu__sweetie, Tim, and his two daughters) a couple of weeks ago, and Zoe and Kiera played with the four foster kittens all evening long. I had promised to send Zoe more photos, so here is one of Kuro-neko-chan (which means "cute little black cat" in Japanese) playing on my keyboard. I had to take all four kittens--now about six weeks old and eating from a dish and playing all sorts of kitten games--back to the rescue before my trip to Oregon. I won't get these kittens back, because they are almost old enough to ... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1458405 Tue, 20 May 2008 17:36:41 +0100 1458405 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1167149&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fsad-on-a-sunny.html Those of you who know Seattle know that for most of the winter we live our lives under heavy gray skies--rain, fog, more rain ... very little snow, very few clear days. SAD is a big problem here, which is why I finally bought myself a HappyLight. But today is one of those rare winter days--clear and bright. Colder than usual. I can see the Olympics from my front porch. Normally a day like today would give me a huge burst of energy and I'd be out gardening and getting all sorts of things done. But not today. Today I'm sad. My uncle--my only surviving uncle, actually--is in the hospital with heart problems. He's been there for more than a week now, and I've been in visiting him the past few days. Took both older and younger sons to see him last night. He's having a tough time. Surg... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1167149 Mon, 21 Jan 2008 23:15:26 +0100 1167149 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1133764&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fnostalgia.html This doll--who never had a name, as far as I can remember--was my first doll. I got her when I was a year old, and as you can see she got a lot of loving, or banging on the floor, not sure which. Somewhere in the family archives is a photo of me as a chubby infant dangling this doll by the feet. The doll came back to me some years ago and I've had her tucked away, but I think she's going to come out now and sit on the mantle. After all, she's an antique--at least 50 years old! @ Jeanne Sather 2008. (Source: The Assertive Cancer Patient) The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1133764 Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:24:41 +0100 1133764 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1100233&cid=t_356370_111_f&fid=36048&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeeds.b5media.com%2F%7Er%2Fb5media%2FAHeartyLife%2F%7E3%2F201801601%2F Fa-la-la-la-la…la-la-la-la……. The holidays are here and with them comes stress, anxiety and overall worry. Did I get all the shopping done? Have I finished the cookies? Did I send the cards out yet? “I forgot my cousin twice removed from my step fathers side of the family- he needs a gift!!!!!!!” Yup- that pretty much sums it up-the holidays blow in and out like a flash of light. It is hard sometimes to stop and think about what the true meaning is and to not get caught up in the hub bub! And what 2 days of the year do you think have the highest incidences of heart attacks and heart related deaths? I’m sure you guessed it… The two riskiest days of the year for heart-related deaths Dec.25 and Jan. 1. Christmas and New Year’s, it appears, can l... A Hearty Life blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1100233 Mon, 17 Dec 2007 19:29:59 +0100 1100233 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1034143&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F11%2Frainy-birthday.html Today is my 53rd birthday, and the rain is pouring down. I'm going to look up all the cliches and metaphors I can find about rain. (If you have a favorite expression about rain, please e-mail it to me. Consider it a birthday greeting.) When I was a little girl, my family lived in Hoquiam, a small town two hours or so southwest of Seattle on the coast. It rains much more in Hoquiam than it does in Seattle, and what I remember from having birthday parties in November is that my presents were always wet! They would get wet on the trip between car and house. Damp gift paper. Bedraggled bows. It's a funny memory to hold onto after all these years. But that's what I remember. My boys' birthdays are in July and October, much better weather. I've always been glad of that. Celebrating I wen... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1034143 Sat, 17 Nov 2007 20:16:53 +0100 1034143 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=658521&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F06%2Fwinning_and_los.html I’m jumping from project to project this morning, never quite finishing one thing before I go on to the next, trying to keep myself distracted and sane as I wait for a fax from the arbitrator who is deciding where Younger Son will live until he is 18. No matter whether I “win” or “lose,” I am losing. And I feel incredibly sad that my son has moved out of the house at 16, when I thought he would be with me until he was 18 at least. I pulled out a photo of the two of us when Younger Son was 3 or 4. We are leaning our heads together and smiling identical smiles, and the photo makes me cry. Our relationship has been damaged by this mediation/arbitration, because for the first time ever, my son and I have been on opposite sides in a dispute between his father and me. In the past... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=658521 Tue, 05 Jun 2007 22:50:36 +0100 658521 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=611025&cid=t_356370_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2007%2F05%2Fa_bittersweet_m_1.html The greeting card companies, who invented this holiday, have a lot to answer for. Mother's Day brunch with my two sons, ages 22 and 16, neither of whom lives with me right now, was bitter, and sweet. Older Son, a business student at the UW, showed up a little early for our brunch date and caught me without makeup. As a result, he was worried about me, and asked me several times how I was. The irony here, of course, is that I am so much better (and look so much better) than a month ago when the anemia was in full swing, but he never saw me then without makeup. He's also worried because he knows I'm heading off to Tucson this week to see the world's most wonderful oncologist, so I need to talk to him about THAT when he comes over today. We have some financial aid paperwork to take ca... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=611025 Mon, 14 May 2007 16:02:43 +0100 611025