MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'fucking'. Sun, 18 Oct 2009 17:39:28 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2741561&cid=t_219742_135_f&fid=35274&url=http%3A%2F%2Facidrefluxweb.com%2F%3Fp%3D3913 It was quite funny to see the Gay Guide Toronto’s update pronounce that I needed to get laid.  What’s new? My quest has been successful, I have been getting laid, quiet bit. Not on a completely whorish level, but I do have well more than six months or more of catching up to do. In these travels, usually over the internet, more and more I’m encountering neg guys who are into their own version of bungee jumping. It’s the same rush with a new twist: no rope. Simply jump off the bridge and hope you come on back. One guy, trick X with whom I reconnected, probably late 20s, early 30s, wanted me to f. him bare. I brought up the tired and boring conversation of status, as it’s clear in my profile. Trick X didn’t care, and assumed that he was probably positive but h... acidrefluxweb.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2741561 Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:27:24 +0100 2741561 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2737973&cid=t_219742_135_f&fid=35274&url=http%3A%2F%2Facidrefluxweb.com%2F%3Fp%3D3913 It was quite funny to see the Gay Guide Toronto’s update pronounce that I needed to get laid.  What’s new? My quest has been successful, I have been getting laid, quiet bit. Not on a completely whorish level, but I do have well more than six months or more of catching up to do. In these travels, usually over the internet, more and more I’m encountering neg guys who are into their own version of bungee jumping. It’s the same rush with a new twist: no rope. Simply jump off the bridge and hope you come on back. One guy, trick X with whom I reconnected, probably late 20s, early 30s, wanted me to f. him bare. I brought up the tired and boring conversation of status, as it’s clear in my profile. Trick X didn’t care, and assumed that he was probably positive b... acidrefluxweb.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2737973 Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:27:24 +0100 2737973 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2699838&cid=t_219742_135_f&fid=35274&url=http%3A%2F%2Facidrefluxweb.com%2F%3Fp%3D3877 I managed to meet one guy and hit it off for a two-condom, and hour rendez-vous. It’s been so long that all I kept thinking was, “It’s about time. Why did I wait so long?” To the fellows surprise, and happiness, he got about six months of frustration taken out on him. It’s taken a lot of work from the old days, when I sex was a service I sold. I had always equated it to that of hosting a party. You do have fun, but you can never relax and just enjoy it as you are taking care of everyone else making sure that they had a good time. For me, this was an intimate party for two, and I was the host. Reclaiming sex for myself, and not something was supposed to “do” to someone, and at that well-done, has been a long haul. My drug counsellor way back when sa... acidrefluxweb.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2699838 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:53:48 +0100 2699838 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2688861&cid=t_219742_135_f&fid=35274&url=http%3A%2F%2Facidrefluxweb.com%2F%3Fp%3D3877 I managed to meet one guy and hit it off for a two-condom, and hour rendez-vous. It’s been so long that all I kept thinking was, “It’s about time. Why did I wait so long?” To the fellows surprise, and happiness, he got about six months of frustration taken out on him. It’s taken a lot of work from the old days, when I sex was a service I sold. I had always equated it to that of hosting a party. You do have fun, but you can never relax and just enjoy it as you are taking care of everyone else making sure that they had a good time. For me, this was an intimate party for two, and I was the host. Reclaiming sex for myself, and not something was supposed to “do” to someone, and at that well-done, has been a long haul. My drug counsellor way back when sa... acidrefluxweb.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2688861 Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:53:48 +0100 2688861 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2216701&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F02%2F26%2Fobama-preaches-personal-responsbility%2F  Personal responsibility….. It’s a common theme in Obama/Biden speeches. WE ALL are suppose to take personal responsibility for our choices. Right? Who chose to leave all of this crappy trash laying on the ground after Obama’s speech???????   The Mall after  Obama’s followers listened to him talk about the new era of personal responsibility. CINCINNATI — Barack Obama received a [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2216701 Thu, 26 Feb 2009 14:37:33 +0100 2216701 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2210745&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F02%2F23%2Fsean-penn%2F I liked you better when you were  this guy…..Spicoli. Spicoli wouldn’t hang out with Hugo or Fidel. Spicoli was stupid enough to be honest. Spicoli wouldn’t haven’t spouted his left-wing propaganda at the Academy Awards. Spicoli would have realized the irony in what he was saying if he did spout off at the AW. Spicoli would have [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2210745 Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:48:04 +0100 2210745 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2182704&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F02%2F11%2Fa-valentine-for-my-dear-friend%2F “snicker snicker” Just had to post this for you, D!   Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Posted in creativity, freak magnet, friends, Holidays, humor, I can't believe how much we f.ing rule today..tomorro, I feel like breaking shit, lies, life, love and laughter, my life sucks, news, Obama is a thug, opinion, personal, politics, Things that rule Tagged: Obama is my valentine, Obama [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2182704 Wed, 11 Feb 2009 23:10:16 +0100 2182704 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2169857&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F02%2F08%2Fschool-5-years-from-now%2F This is what calling the roll in school will be like five years from now. Looks like a classroom full of Kool Aid drinker’s kids! Posted in Family, humor, I can't believe how much we f.ing rule today..tomorro, life, media, news, Obama is a thug, opinion, personal, politics, Random, things that suck   Tagged: fad kid's names, kool-aid drinkers, [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2169857 Sun, 08 Feb 2009 22:51:10 +0100 2169857 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2113656&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F01%2F18%2Frsvpmy-i-suck-really-suck-party%2F First, let me hereby acknowledge that I certainly do really, really suck as a person sometimes. Why deny it? It is what it is. At least, I’ve got the balls to admit it. But, let me assure you that I do not really, really suck as a person most of the time.   I wish that I could [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2113656 Mon, 19 Jan 2009 07:37:02 +0100 2113656 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2087039&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2009%2F01%2F07%2Fbe-careful-what-you-wish-for%2F “Be careful what you wish for,you may receive it” Anonymous. I’ve got to eat crow now. I’ve spent mucho time whining about psych doctors. Well, not just pdocs, all kinds of doctors. I had one of the strangest doctor’s visits in my whole life yesterday. It was very interesting to say the least. This is my 3rd visit [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2087039 Thu, 08 Jan 2009 06:49:33 +0100 2087039 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2074414&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F12%2F30%2Ffinally-proof-that-im-telling-the-truth%2F This is for all of my friends who have followed the story of my Crack ‘Ho SIL. Finally, proof that I’m neither lying nor exaggerating. Christmas With Momma…by The Vinyl Villager Cast of Characters: “Midge”…..my youngest daughter “Jeff Gordon”…..her husband “Mama”……CHSIL “Vinyl Villager”…..my nephew I don’t normally reveal my relationships to any other bloggers. However, this bears a breaking of the rule. [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2074414 Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:41:59 +0100 2074414 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1991041&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35438&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwrithesafely.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F11%2F27%2Fi-try-to-praise-the-mutilated-world%2F I often wonder what it will look like to reach the point of not just surviving my misfortunes but being simply and profoundly grateful for every single thing that has ever happened to me. And why people who want things like that are so perplexing to those who don’t. Those who wonder, in their golden ways what’s so funny about gallows humor, the sole comfort of those who’ve escaped the hangman and an affront to those who have no knowledge of his existence. Welp, there it is, in black & white, no less. Thanks by W.S. Merwin Listen with the night falling we are saying thank you we are stopping on the bridges to bow from the railings we are running out of the glass rooms with our mouths full of food to look at the sky and say thank you we are standing by the water thanki... Writhe Safely blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1991041 Thu, 27 Nov 2008 10:44:48 +0100 1991041 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1888308&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F10%2F18%2Fwhy-am-i-not-suprised%2F Obama supporter beats up McCain supporter. go read this….. This was obviously an unstable man that beat the crap out of this woman. That’s not the point. Just wondering how many times this would have already been played out in the biased media if it was an Obama supporter being beat up by a McCain supporter. PLEASE, WAKE [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1888308 Sun, 19 Oct 2008 06:10:42 +0100 1888308 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1883412&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F10%2F16%2Fthe-audacity-of-nope%2F     Five Good Reasons Not To Vote For Obama… 1. Ted Kennedy Loves Him….. ..        2. He wants Al Gore in his cabinet ………..     3. Rev. Wright……     4. The Economy……….   5. ACORN……….(supposedly bi-partisan?)….   Bonus….William Ayers and Tony Resco……..            (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1883412 Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:51:06 +0100 1883412 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1873145&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F10%2F13%2F1253%2F Dunno how much longer this will be up, but it still makes me cry. Church boy gone wild. Notice the comments: I believe it is wrong and silly how The Way International is constantly working to pull down any posts of The Renewed Live is the Key. This must piss them off to no end. Creepiness factor - [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1873145 Mon, 13 Oct 2008 17:18:37 +0100 1873145 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1859655&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35438&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwrithesafely.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F10%2F07%2Fjimmie-dale-healer%2F Welp, I went ahead and signed up to put in my time and am delighted to find the Obama campaign has impeccable taste. Tonight’s local debate party will be kicked off with music by the world’s most charismatic outlaw who’s sly compassion is as legendary as his high and lonesome zensoaked warble. Jimmie Dale Gilmore is a Saint. This is not hyperbole, but a well-known fact. I can’t find the words and believe me I’ve tried. Anyone familiar with my (cough cough) oeuvre might recall I spent my first year in Austin lost and determined to self-destruct in a flamboyant way but what you don’t know is it was Jimmie’s Wednesday night supper shows at Threadgills that kept me tethered to the planet. And I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t hateful, alien... Writhe Safely blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1859655 Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:32:57 +0100 1859655 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1759979&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F09%2F03%2Fyou-can-dooooooo-it%2F Couldn’t sleep last nite thanks to Flagyl, the poison that I’m taking to kill the other poison that  has inhabited my abcessed tooth for over a week now. Flagyl taste like the bottom of a NYC airport terminal crapper (i’m assuming this because I don’t go around licking the bottom of public shitholes). 5:00….Tony Little infomercial. I’m so dopey [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1759979 Thu, 04 Sep 2008 02:37:47 +0100 1759979 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1739306&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F08%2F27%2Fbig-pimpin%2F **Update** Go here. Vote for “Ghost of Keywork” He needs your vote…now!  it will take less than a minute of your time. ******************************* Time is of the utmost importance-we’re trying to prepare a layout to go along with the *prize (no pun intended, really); but we’re geographically challenged here. Our smokin hot friend KEYWORK needs your vote [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1739306 Fri, 29 Aug 2008 08:40:30 +0100 1739306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1709340&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F08%2F14%2Foh-crappy-day%2F what a crappy, crappy day! This morning,  Mr. Excitement went out and got the newspaper which is a nice thing that he does for me everyday. (See, I don’t complain about everything about him). Attched to our little ( a Watchtower has more pages) paper was a payment envelopment to put payment in. I pay directly [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1709340 Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:36:46 +0100 1709340 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1625697&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F07%2F15%2Fmentalhealth-thehealthsite-dot-info-steals-posts%2F This is me today —->  Since when is my blog’s name New Hampshire Public Radio , you assholes?! Girls, since when is our name, Health Living | Medicine & Health Questions and Answers? *By the way-it’s called a comma, learn to use one.*  ^^  (the program is not so smart, is it?) If you also have a health [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1625697 Wed, 16 Jul 2008 07:26:57 +0100 1625697 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1625698&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F07%2F14%2Fnew-bipolar-terms%2F OK, Chicks…..I’ve got a brand new bipolar term for you. First, let us review the last one…..”buypolar”: a legal defense of rich people with high powered attorneys Get ready…. “bipolar distorter”…..In my local paper yesterday, there was an article on Jesco White. Jesco lives about 1 hour away from me. He is known as the Dancing Outlaw and [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1625698 Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:05:32 +0100 1625698 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1616209&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F07%2F12%2Fbuypolar-defense%2F I’m truly sick of this nonsense! Chicks, it’s giving all of us a bad, bad rap. What am I talking about? The bipolar (which I from now on will call “buypolar” defense. How many of us with bipolar disorder live day after day without managing to get our names in the news? Yes, there are times [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1616209 Sun, 13 Jul 2008 10:27:30 +0100 1616209 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1538055&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F06%2F22%2Ftold-ya-so-told-ya-so%2F THE 10 COMMANDMENTS OF BIPOLAR DISORDER 1.Thou shalt not blame everything on chemical imbalance. 2.Thou shalt avoid high places and sharp objects when on either extreme of the mood spectrum. 3.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s shiny trinkets. 4.Thou [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1538055 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 04:36:08 +0100 1538055 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1450334&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.wordpress.com%2F2008%2F05%2F17%2Fi-am-my-worst-enemy%2F Numb to real thoughts or emotions. I’m OK with writing silly stuff that doesn’t matter at all in the long run. But, the part of my mind, soul, heart, etc. that means anything is gone/hiding/killed/abducted or something. And…..”deep breath”……I have kept this to myself because it is the nature of my beast. I had an [...] (Source: bipolar chicks blogging) bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1450334 Sat, 17 May 2008 17:05:43 +0100 1450334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1325177&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F03%2F24%2Fspit-in-a-cup%2F Spit in a cup and find out if you are bipolar. What a load of bullshit! Home bipolar disorder test causes stirs By MARCUS WOHLSEN, Associated Press Writer Sat Mar 22, 4:23 PM ET SAN DIEGO - Dr. John Kelsoe has spent his career trying to identify the biological roots of bipolar disorder. In December, he announced he had discovered several gene mutations closely tied to the disease, also known as manic depression. Then Kelsoe, a prominent psychiatric geneticist at the University of California, San Diego, did something provocative for the buttoned-down world of academic medical research: He began selling bipolar genetic tests straight to the public over the Internet last month for $399. His company, La Jolla-b... bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1325177 Tue, 25 Mar 2008 18:04:15 +0100 1325177 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1309092&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F03%2F18%2Fit-was-my-birthday-i-could-cry-if-i-wanted-to%2F by the feline….. The 14th of this month was my birthday… just last Friday… Know who forgot my birthday? My mother. ROFLMAO! She’s now officially forgotten most everyone in the family’s birthday. I believe the memory of every single person on this earth has been affected by the hormone’s in the chickens we eat. I’m dead serious. What else could it be? We can’t ALL have Alzheimer’s. (shakes head emphatically). And she’s not taking the old standby, Topamax (Dopamax, to us oldtimers)… so she can’t even use THAT excuse that we BP’ers use, can she? She’s not THAT old…. 66… so senility is out of the question. She’s not THAT busy, having retired just a year or two back… and she’s not e... bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1309092 Tue, 18 Mar 2008 06:58:59 +0100 1309092 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1297967&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2008%2F03%2Fim-sleeping-with-myself-tonight.html I was chatting with MPJ earlier about Elton John, and now I'm trapped in an Elton John nexus in my head. I love this song: It's four o'clock in the morning Damn it listen to me good I'm sleeping with myself tonight Saved in time, thank God my music's still alive.It's particularly appealing to me because I've found so much strength in sleeping alone. When I find myself responding too much to my husband's situation, I go sleep in a spare room.I used to follow him around. If he couldn't sleep and got up to watch television, I'd go sleep on the couch next to him with my head in his lap. I hated to be away from him. I still hate to be away from him, but sometimes he's not there. Sometimes, it's better just to be with me, to sleep with myself.It's the way it's phrased in the song that's so speci... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1297967 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 16:59:00 +0100 1297967 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1296116&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F03%2F11%2Fcourtney-lovedont-mess-with-us%2F I saw Courtney Love on TMZ tonight. Then, I did a google on her quote. This is from 411Mania Courtney Love is blogging back at skeptics who say her latest fraud allegations are figments of a “bipolar” disorder. The rocker raged when she read Monday that cops are supposedly laughing off the complaint she filed with the LAPD last Wednesday, alleging that she’s the victim of an egregious identity theft. “Courtney is simply (and possibly medically) delusional,” TMZ.com contended, citing sources who claimed the LAPD is “not taking it seriously … one source [said], ‘It never happened.’ … We found out she’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. … Law enforcement thinks the identity fraud is in Courtney’s mind.” Firing ba... bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1296116 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 03:46:01 +0100 1296116 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1280820&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35448&url=http%3A%2F%2Fseemedlikeagoodideathetime.com%2F2008%2F03%2F05%2Fweekly-cleaning%2F I got this in my inbox. I don’t know who wrote it. I’ll be happy to give them credit if anybody knows.   Cleaning Poem !   I asked the Lord to tell me Why my house is such a mess. He asked if I’d been ‘computering’, And I had to answer ‘yes.’ He told me to get off my fanny And tidy up the house. And so I started cleaning up… The smudges off my mouse. I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick… I was just admiring my work.. I didn’t mean to ‘click.’ But click, I did, and oops I found A real absorbing site That I got SO way into. I was into it all night. Sigh! No... bipolar chicks blogging blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1280820 Wed, 05 Mar 2008 15:43:37 +0100 1280820 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1274999&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2008%2F03%2Fsoup-toss.html I've been avoiding including many of the details of my amazing life as a junky's wife here lately for a few reasons...partly because I'm trying to be more aware of anonymity. I've been bad at anonymity, and as I progress through the program, I want to work it right. That twelfth tradition matters as much as the rest of it, so it's important not to compromise myself. I've also been avoiding too many details because the details are really rather ugly. There are beautiful transformations happening in my life, but they are happening to me, alone. They aren't happening to my husband, not yet. They aren't happening to my marriage.But I need to talk about this stuff, and it's probably too early to start making program calls, so I'm going to tell the internet my business like I used to. Welcome to... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1274999 Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:04:00 +0100 1274999 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1260052&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2008%2F02%2Ffull-bloom.html "You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in the present moment."-ThoreauI realized something at the meeting tonight about those of us living with addiction. We're not a dull lot, are we? We've always got a story, and it's always rich.And more than full of STUFF to talk about, it's a rich place to exist if we can find stillness. Every moment of every day is meaningful. Every moment of quiet, or presence with ourselves, with glimpses of sanity in our loved ones...every moment is sacred.In ways, I think that I've wasted so much time in my relationship...but in other ways, I recognize that not a moment has been wasted since I learned of my husband's addiction. I've not spent a second in complacency. The pain of watching his pain, of learning to deal with... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1260052 Wed, 27 Feb 2008 05:13:00 +0100 1260052 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1226802&cid=t_219742_140_f&fid=35439&url=http%3A%2F%2Fbipolarsoupkitchen-stephany.blogspot.com%2F2008%2F02%2Fsplit-my-head-open-now.html (Source: soulful sepulcher) soulful sepulcher blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1226802 Wed, 13 Feb 2008 07:13:00 +0100 1226802 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=1148259&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2008%2F01%2Fancient-tribal-junkies-of-southeastern.html Several thousand years ago, a syringe-worshiping peoples inhabited this particular region. They had a rather simple civilization...most likely they robbed neighboring tribespeople and traded stolen goods for the small amount of food they desired and other necessities.It just so happens that my husband and I have purchased a piece of real estate located precisely over the sacred syringe burial ground of these people, and our house appears to be infested with these ancient syringe artifacts. In fact, a syringe appeared in our bedroom just this morning. It appeared to have fallen out of a pocket of his pants; however, it seems that the logical explanation for how he syringe got on our floor was that, due to the particular molecular structure of this tribe's sacred syringes, it was absorbed fr... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=1148259 Mon, 14 Jan 2008 03:35:00 +0100 1148259 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=947493&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fthis-is-just-to-say.html Cuntface Damsel In Distress just reminded me of this goddamned poem by William Carlos Williams, who apparently has lots of opinions about my marriage this week.(Dear Dr. Williams, if you must send me poetic messages from your grave, could you please send them with less infuriating frequency? Yes, I loathed your work as an undergraduate. Yes, I submit to its relevance, crispness, and chill beauty now. I'm sorry I didn't like you and called you cold and male and said that your name was stupid when I was but a wee girl of twenty years. OK? Can we stop this now?)Anyway, while these poems keeping popping up in that bitch-slapping, higher-power proving kind of way, I continue to find them very sexy and repulsive and annoying. How dare he:This is just to sayI have eaten the plums that were in ... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=947493 Fri, 12 Oct 2007 15:45:00 +0100 947493 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=939976&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F10%2Fi-dont-feel-like-it.html "I'm not feeding the dogs or letting them out when we get home. I don't feel like it.""Really? What if I don't feel like it?""Then I guess it won't get done.""OK. What if I didn't feel like paying the mortgage or buying groceries? What if I didn't feel like having a job anymore?"Silence...It's an infuriating refrain, and it comes up again and again. Tonight was lovely, and we were on our way home from having dinner with family when he pulled out some "I Don't Feel Like It."I never know quite how to respond to these little tantrums. What makes me angriest about them is that they are proclamations and plans. If he just came in the house and started ignoring the dogs, I'd just let them out because they needed to be let out. It's just what you do. But because he had to make a declaration of ho... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=939976 Wed, 10 Oct 2007 04:54:00 +0100 939976 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=923822&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F10%2Frare-form.html My baby was fussy tonight.My husband behaves sometimes as if he were a giant slobbering infant from hell. His mood was foul, which made him break all our plans for the evening to go lie in bed and pout. Generally, I am very good at detaching from this scenario. When he is pissy and miserable and whiny and shitty to be around, I go away and protect my sanity from his bullshit. Tonight, however, he'd had a job interview, and we'd talked about us updating the website where he keeps his portfolio to make it easier for the boss to evaluate his work. I'd agreed to help him with that.While he was hiding in the bed, pouting and pretending to go to bed, I started fretting about how he needs to update the site. I'd volunteered to do it for him, as I'm more proficient with the whole web thing, and he... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=923822 Wed, 03 Oct 2007 04:04:00 +0100 923822 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=915081&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fneedle-in-haystack.html There was a needle in a flower bed today in my front yard. Yeah, that kind of needle. It didn't look old.I brought it inside and asked how in the world something like that could have gotten in the front yard. He says that it must have been old.I promptly went into the bathroom and had a giant meltdown. I cried, and I cried, and I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't collect myself.And then, I did.So there was a needle. I live with a heroin addict. Heroin addicts leave needles around.Maybe it's brand new and just fell out of his pocket this morning. Maybe it's been buried in our front yard for months and it just got uncovered by the wind. Either way, I'm safe. My stuff is safe. He's going to meetings.I could scream and cry and blow up at him, beg and beg that he tell me the truth. He will tell ... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=915081 Sun, 30 Sep 2007 05:14:00 +0100 915081 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=868362&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fmerch.html I'm going to come out with a whole line of Junky's Wife products, like a real batshit crazy rockstar, which is all I've ever wanted to be. We'll have a Junky's Wife doll, complete with inflatable waistline for those relapse pounds. She'll come with a hoochie shirt and a hippy skirt, sandals, a laptop, dogs and cats, and a line of jewelry for the Mr. Junky doll to take to the Pawn Shop Play Station. Mr. Junky will be breathtakingly beautiful with eyes that light up, and he'll come with a string you can pull to say inane bullshit like, "STOP TRYING TO CONTROL ME!" or "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TRUST ME?" He'll also have a case of syringes, a dirty spoon collection, and a tattoo-machine upgrade package available. He's available in Recovery or Relapse...you can go ahead and imagine the differences yo... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=868362 Thu, 13 Sep 2007 03:58:00 +0100 868362 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=850771&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F09%2Fthats-so-silly.html Go read The Sun telling about Pete Doherty and his passion for his pets. It's beautiful. I chortled my Red Bull right out of my nose.Or, you can read about it here or here or here.Courtesy Edith Whoreton. (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=850771 Fri, 07 Sep 2007 14:51:00 +0100 850771 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=831118&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fnot-dead-yet.html I think it's getting close to past the time for Mexican Heroin Dealers to be making house calls.His gun is a fucking bb gun. I don't know what kind of addict dramatic bullshit that was last night, waving it in the air like he was R. Kelly, (That's right EJ, I stole your phrase. Whachoo gonna do about it?) but I came home insisting that we sell the fucking thing or that he give it to the dealer or I'd make him leave blah blah blah, and he showed me that it's a very impressive-looking bb gun.So that's one thing not to be scared about.He'd fixed a bath for me when I got home. I like baths. We talked a lot, and I told him what I need. Here's the list:No guns.No threats of criminal activity.No strange mofos up in my house.No drugs.For him to go to meetings.He has agreed to my list of demands. P... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=831118 Thu, 30 Aug 2007 01:48:00 +0100 831118 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=830195&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Ffucking-dumbass-shit.html I've been given instructions to write a gratitude list...and I'm just about to get to that...but first, I need to bitch about something.The fucking thing that I hate most right now in my life is being scared--scared for myself, for my man, and for my stuff.The fucking thing that I hate second most in my life right now is the tediousness of it all. I hate all these ghetto scenarios this dumbass man I love keeps getting me stuck in. I hate having to think about "pawn shops" and "dealers" and "guns" and all that kind of wannabe thug dumbshit. I fucking hate the stories that I am always telling people. I hate the entire rhetoric of addict-life...the pawn and steal and gun and lie and twenty dollars and blah blah blah. I have better things to do with my head. I have better language to use than ... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=830195 Wed, 29 Aug 2007 20:52:00 +0100 830195 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=830196&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fguns.html "What you think about that?" he says, with a gun in the air, coming in from outside.I think I don't like that at all. Where did that come from?I always had it.That's not true. Where did it come from? Why don't you sell it?That was last night.Today, he called me at work, scared and urgent:I've got to tell you something.So in the time before Nar-Anon, before I learned that I didn't have to, I paid a debt for him. I'd hoped that by paying the debt, I'd get the scary dealers out of my life, out of his life, and we could move on. I didn't know that I'd be opening up a new line of credit for him.He told me he owed the dealers $380, and they were threatening him. I paid it. Two weeks later, he told me today, he got in debt to them again to the tune of $220. He's been gradually paying it off by ta... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=830196 Wed, 29 Aug 2007 19:35:00 +0100 830196 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=828550&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fmy-sponsor-is-magic.html I'm not just saying it because she might read this. She really is magic. And while I'm sure she's endowed with the magical hoohah that makes all codependents magic, she is also magic in that her voice can soothe a raging junky's wife.She just kind of laughs, and says, "I'm sure he's not in jail. I'll come get you if he is. You're supposed to be doing whatever you'd be doing anyway."BUT WHAT I'D BE DOING IS SITTING ON THE COUCH WITH MY HEAD IN HIS LAP!(sob, sob)"Well, I used to clean the house when I was worrying about things. Is there something you can do to keep you mind occupied until he gets back?"She has magical voice super powers. I hope that through working the steps, one day I will also acquire this power. So far, however, my kung fu is not very strong in this area.He wasn't gone fo... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=828550 Tue, 28 Aug 2007 17:43:00 +0100 828550 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=825700&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fhes-still-not-fixed.html News flash:My husband still acts like a drug addict.Goddamn it, we went to a meeting and everything. (Source: Heroin Addiction Codependence) Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=825700 Tue, 28 Aug 2007 01:43:00 +0100 825700 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=811330&cid=t_219742_151_f&fid=35793&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.thejunkyswife.com%2F2007%2F08%2Fboundaries.html I'm feeling pretty worn down. I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I'm overwhelmed on all fronts.I got home last night, and I dreaded getting home the whole way. I dreaded it from leaving until pulling into the driveway. I thought and thought of ways that I could stay home, longer. I don't like it at my house. It's dirty. He's there. He's miserable and miserable to be around.I got an email this morning on my work email address from someone he scammed out of money. This is the second time that's happened, and it makes me really, really uncomfortable. First, it's money he's had and lied about. Apparently, he took a couple of hundred dollars from someone as a "deposit," and now he won't respond to her. I never knew of him having $200. So where's the money?Second, we work in the same industry. I don't... Heroin Addiction Codependence blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=811330 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 16:53:00 +0100 811330