MedWorm provides a medical RSS filtering service. Over 6000 RSS medical sources are combined and output via different filters. This feed contains the latest medical blog items that have been tagged with 'grief'. Sat, 03 Sep 2011 01:50:14 +0100 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5182210&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F09%2Fsmiling-cant-cheat-death.html I'm a reasonably happy person. And I believe that concentrating on the half full part of the glass has helped me to cope with many aspects of my life, including breast cancer. However, there have been times when a good wallow or a raging tantrum have been just as necessary and cathartic.And I don't, for even a second, think that people who worried too much, or got mad or who didn't have a positive attitude brought cancer or their own deaths upon themselves. Nor do I believe that temperament or attitude is what causes one person to go into remission and another to succumb to the illness. I find the belief system that blames the patient to be repugnant.In many ways, cancer is a crap shoot. It helps to have excellent medical care, good nutrition and the resources that help you cope with the d... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5182210 Thu, 01 Sep 2011 16:20:00 +0100 5182210 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5174818&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2F29%2Ffinal-tributes-to-jack-layton-in-pictures%2F   It was an emotion-packed, life-affirming day. (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5174818 Mon, 29 Aug 2011 19:55:20 +0100 5174818 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5169674&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F08%2F27%2Ffinal-tributes-to-jack-layton-in-pictures%2F Click for pictures from Jack Layton’s final journey today from Toronto City Hall, and then Roy Thomson Hall. It was an emotion-packed, life-affirming day. (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5169674 Sat, 27 Aug 2011 22:35:20 +0100 5169674 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5169572&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F08%2F27%2F5-tips-for-staying-calm-in-a-hurricane%2F When hurricanes or tropical storms are forecast to reach us, we often go into a panic and fear the worst about the coming storm. The uncertainty of the storm provokes a certain in anxiety in most of us. Some of those fears are very real, as government officials ask residents to evacuate areas directly in the path of the hurricane. Low-lying areas are especially at risk for flooding. Calm is a hard emotion to muster when our entire environment is turning against us. It is ever harder to remain calm when you’re asked to evacuate your home, and live in a shelter or with a family member for a few days. Will my home still be standing when I return? What about my most cherished possessions? Even folks who aren’t asked to evacuate fear the loss of electricity to their homes, and wheth... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5169572 Sat, 27 Aug 2011 15:18:51 +0100 5169572 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159198&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Fcan-religion-or-spirituality-help-ward-off-depression%2F People of all shapes, sizes, colors and nationalities get depression. There seems to be little rhyme or reason to whom it strikes and when. Many people swear by certain things to help them keep depression away. Some people use exercise, while others throw themselves more into their work. Others take a daily dose of a herb like St. John’s Wort or fish oil, because of the association these ingredients have had with a reduction in depression in some studies. But what about religion? Can a strong sense of spirituality or religion help you ward off depression? According to new research that followed a group of people over 10 years, the answer is a qualified “Yes.” The new longitudinal research out of Columbia University wanted to followup on previous research demonstrating th... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159198 Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:10:27 +0100 5159198 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159199&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F08%2F25%2Fto-heal-after-an-affair-and-rebuild-the-relationship%2F “For many people, an affair is deeply traumatizing [and] some marriages can’t recover from it,” said Jason Seidel, PsyD, founder and director of The Colorado Center for Clinical Excellence in Denver. But if you decide to work on your relationship post-affair, you must accept a hard truth: Another affair can happen. This is the paradox of healing, Seidel said. Often, partners who’ve been cheated on will demand full access to their spouse’s email, cell phone records, Facebook and other accounts (or they’ll sneak around to get the access), he said. They see this as legitimate and essential to helping reestablish trust in the relationship. A common belief is “How could I ever trust you again unless you give me full access?” While this thinking is understandable, it simply doesn... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159199 Thu, 25 Aug 2011 12:40:21 +0100 5159199 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159200&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F08%2F24%2Ffrom-end-to-beginning-navigating-a-transition-well%2F I’ve had transitions on my mind recently. A lot of clients I work with feel stuck in the middle of a transition they didn’t quite anticipate, or that felt thrust upon them, or whose ramifications they just couldn’t calculate at the outset of the change. Marriage, divorce, childbirth, graduating college, losing a job, moving back home: whether positive or negative, transitions can be messy. And they can also give birth to previously unforeseen opportunities for growth. Therapy is, after all, about change, so I guess it is no surprise that as a therapist I should be witness to transitions galore. William Bridges, author of a book aptly titled Transitions, writes that moving from here to there involves three distinct stages: endings, the middle ground, and beginnings. He emphasizes that... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159200 Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:21:17 +0100 5159200 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5159653&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F08%2Fgrateful-through-my-tears.html "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." - Hon. Jack Layton (1950-2011)If you are reading this post on a site other than Not Just About Cancer (besides Facebook or a feed reader), you are reading stolen content. (Source: Not just about cancer) Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5159653 Tue, 23 Aug 2011 16:20:00 +0100 5159653 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5118923&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=36469&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fespeciallyheather%2FEH%2F%7E3%2FDxrPFlGR2RY%2F I can’t tell you how many times I have tried sitting down in front of this laptop and the words just wouldn’t come. I would try to start to type and then… nothing…. blank. I have had an awesome yet horrid summer. Awesome because I really truly have 2 great kids and really have enjoyed getting to spend quality time with each of them this summer- time which I was not able to spend in previous years. Horrid because I miss my 3rd. I just plain miss Emma. I miss her quirky little smile and her eyes. I really miss her eyes. It is getting easier, but harder at the same time. I have cried less frequently, which is a great thing, but when it comes- it comes in floods. Like a typhoon. I have kept myself busy with my “new new normal.” We have visited old friends... Especially Heather blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5118923 Thu, 11 Aug 2011 12:49:03 +0100 5118923 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5096899&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F08%2Fdogs-can-fly.html The day after I wrote the post about my friend Rebecca, I went to Take the Plunge, a fundraiser for local dog rescue organizations. It was a lot of fun. We had the chance to meet many different kinds of dogs and the people who love them. They came in all shapes and sizes, colours and temperaments. We also met a miniature horse and some ferrets. One woman was pushing a cat in a stroller. The cat wasn't strapped in and seemed quite relaxed amidst all the canine chaos.The central event of the afternoon was the dock diving competition. We watched all kinds of dogs leap after toys into the pool. Some of the dogs needed to be persuaded to get out of the water. Most seemed incredibly pleased with themselves. Everyone - spectators, dogs and their human handlers seemed to be having a wonderful time... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5096899 Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:17:00 +0100 5096899 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5086262&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F30%2Fthe-new-grief-how-modern-medicine-has-transformed-death-and-grief%2F The realities of death and dying have changed profoundly in a relatively short period of time. Why? Thank the ongoing and remarkable advances in medical diagnosis and treatment. As a result of these advances, life expectancy in countries like ours continues to grow. We all die, but modern medicine is getting better and better at staving off death. And because of this the nature of grief has changed. In her groundbreaking 1970 book, On Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified a process which she believed individuals pass through when they are confronted with death. At the time, sudden and unexpected death was much more common than it is today. The grief associated with that kind of loss is captured powerfully in Joan Didion’s memoir, The Year of Magical Thinking, which recounts ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5086262 Sat, 30 Jul 2011 13:44:25 +0100 5086262 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5069735&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F07%2F27%2Fthere-is-no-hierarchy-in-grief-of-norway-and-amy-winehouse%2F Please read this from Scott Dagostino, whose writing makes me admire the way his mind works. Being someone who might preemptively describe myself as naive (which endears me to world-wise friends and the ne’er do-well-alike), I must say the title of Scott’s post took me in with more than its most obvious sarcasm and led [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5069735 Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:14:52 +0100 5069735 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5057891&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F07%2Fdo-me-favour-honour-my-friend-by-having.html My friend Rebecca died this week. She was all of 37 years old (if I've done the math right) and she had metastatic breast cancer. She was also one of the funniest people in my online community. She was also generous, straigtforward and honest. My heart goes out to her friends and family - the people she loved, wrote about and who knew her best.Rebecca left strict instructions that we were to shed no tears after her passing (I'm afraid I've let her down on that front but I've been doing my best) and that, instead of a funeral she wanted a celebration of her life. I'd love to join the party and to hear the stories that those closest to her would be bound to share. Because Rebecca took her fun seriously.I won't be able to attend the celebration (Rebecca lived in Cape Cod) but I would like to ... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5057891 Sat, 23 Jul 2011 21:29:00 +0100 5057891 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5028458&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F12%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-july-12-2011%2F I wouldn’t call myself a hoarder. But I have what probably most of us have: an ordinary case of messy-itis. Underneath my bed you would find a collection of old books I’ve been meaning to read and a stack of unread old magazines or two. But after nearly tripping over a glossy mag the other day, I finally decided to face the music and deal with the growing clutter under my bed. The first thing I grabbed was a copy of O magazine’s April issue. ”Not bad,” I thought. Until I saw it was circa 2010. Yikes! Anyway, as I randomly flipped through the issue I found an excerpt from Geneen Roth’s book Women, Food and God. It’s a book already beautifully covered by associate editor and Weightless blogger Margarita Tartakovsky here. So I’m not going to g... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5028458 Tue, 12 Jul 2011 10:17:36 +0100 5028458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5028462&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F10%2Fbetty-ford-dies-at-age-93%2F Betty Ford, the former First Lady of the United States died Friday at the age of 93. Dr. William Van Ornum gives this succinct summary of her life in a tribute on the website of the American Mental Health Foundation (AMHF): Mrs. Ford was born in Chicago, grew up in modest circumstances, became a dancer, and married Mr. Ford shortly after he returned from the Navy in World War II. She thought she was signing up for a life with a mid-western lawyer; instead he chose politics and she was thrust into the role of a political wife, all the while raising 4 children and trying to keep her own interests as well. Political life became difficult for her and she felt an emptiness inside from which she sought solace in alcohol and prescription pills. She was open about her addiction at a time when othe... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5028462 Sun, 10 Jul 2011 10:23:09 +0100 5028462 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5028463&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F09%2Fthoughts-on-memories-grief-and-loss%2F For the first few months after my dad’s passing, it was really hard to talk about him and even harder to recall memories, vivid, detailed descriptions of my father and poignant times past. Because with the memories came the obvious grasp that my dad is gone. It was the very definition of bittersweet. Sure, there might be laughter and the subtle shape of a smile, but inevitably there’d also be tears and the realization that this is where the memories ended. But as the months passed, remembering and recounting tidbits from my childhood, my dad’s sayings and jokes and other memories started doing the opposite: they started bringing me a sense of peace. Not an overwhelming wave of calm, but a small token of serenity. I also knew very well that talking about my dad meant honoring his memo... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5028463 Sat, 09 Jul 2011 15:45:05 +0100 5028463 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=5008307&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F07%2Fthe-psychology-of-the-casey-anthony-trial%2F So Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murder, meaning we can go back to our everyday, regular lives. On July 5, the jury found Casey Anthony not guilty of first-degree murder, aggravated manslaughter, and aggravated child abuse (but found her guilty of four lesser, misdemeanor offenses related to her interrogations). What? You mean you “want answers” as to why she wasn’t found guilty? We all want answers in our lives. We yearn for answers. People spend years in therapy looking for answers. But life isn’t always so neat, nor does it always provide easy-to-understand answers to such a tragic series of events that led to the death of Casey Anthony’s toddler, Caylee. So the short answer is — there are no answers. You’re looking for justice in a worl... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=5008307 Thu, 07 Jul 2011 10:13:09 +0100 5008307 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4997777&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F07%2Fvalleys.html I live in a valley, surrounded by the verdant green of Wisconsin's hardwoods, almost like mountains in the mist and fog. Sunrises are hidden by a stand of old pine, sunsets vibrant goodnight kisses from our front porch.I dip my blue kayak tip into the rootbeer water of a lake whipped by wind. Through the shallows, I see the hill and valley repetition as far as my eye can see. Ridges in the sand below. Sand washing in and out.Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea--the Lord on high is mighty. Ps. 93:4Now THIS is what I call therapy!It's a lonely Saturday. All the kids and uncles and dads went fishing. My mom and sisters-in-law were all busy with errands. I wedged the blue boat and paddle into the minivan and went alone to the beach. I felt ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4997777 Mon, 04 Jul 2011 02:49:00 +0100 4997777 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4997618&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F07%2F02%2Fkahlil-gibran-on-pain%2F One of my favorite passages on pain is what Kahlil Gibran writes in his classic, “The Prophet”: Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief. Much of your pain is self-chosen. (If I cut one line, it would be that one.) It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drin... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4997618 Sat, 02 Jul 2011 19:34:09 +0100 4997618 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4976059&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36038&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Ftrevis-life-with-multiple-sclerosis-ms%2Friding-around-in-a-very-personal-journey-with-ms%2F A bus full of commuters passes you on a busy street. A car idles, waiting for a traffic light to change. The azure-blue, summer sky is unzipped by the contrail of a jumbo jet filled with hundreds of souls… and they all have a story. Have you ever been in an airplane on approach or departure; close enough to the ground to see the ant-like scene below as it gets on with the workaday world? Have you ever thought of the lives going on inside that plane far, far above your head? Have you ever felt yourself cut-off from the world as if you were in a personal space capsule catapulting through time, space and dimension and nobody gets it? Caryn and I have just experienced a very personal grief (and I trust our community to please leave it at that) during which we felt as if the world was going b... Life with MS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4976059 Mon, 27 Jun 2011 17:48:56 +0100 4976059 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4953278&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fjasper-friendly-bear-kingston-wayne-aka.html If you are reading this post on a site other than Not Just About Cancer (besides Facebook or a feed reader), you are reading stolen content. (Source: Not just about cancer) Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4953278 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 00:22:00 +0100 4953278 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4952993&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F17%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-june-17-2011%2F Most therapists, even before they were therapists, have a natural ear for pain. They are like magnets attracting people who are in dire need of a listener. I know because I was one of them. And over the years, I’ve learned that the real challenge underlying all of the stuff they talked about was acceptance. People felt rejected, heartbroken, beaten up emotionally because they felt that the life they were living wasn’t the life that they were supposed to be living. They mourned their inability to look a certain way, be a certain kind of person or get married and have kids by a certain age and be nurtured unconditionally by two loving parents. But life never unfolds the way we think it’s supposed to. And there is a lot of grief in that. One of the most painful things to con... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4952993 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 11:07:40 +0100 4952993 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4952994&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F17%2Ffatherless-on-fathers-day%2F {Holidays, 2008} This Father’s Day, I’ll be spending the day at my dad’s gravesite. It’ll be two years this August since my father passed away. I thought the wounds would heal by now. But they haven’t. Instead, it feels like the scar tissue is healing all wrong. The first year was a blur. Days dissolving into one another, melting like the clock in one of my father’s favorite Dali paintings. Days spent focused on checking off items on a to-do list. Months spent trying to carve out some sort of a routine in a half-empty house. Time heals all wounds; you hear that all the time. But I don’t think that’s true. Time tears off the Band-Aid, little by little, instead of ripping it off in one fell swoop. As the days, weeks, months and years go by, you just get caught... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4952994 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 10:11:12 +0100 4952994 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4934334&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F14%2Flearning-how-to-die-the-handbook-for-mortals%2F In any bookstore, you will find aisles and aisles of self-help books coaching us how to live more fully, how to embrace life with passion, and how to age in a way that we aren’t getting older! But how to die? Are you kidding me? DEPRESSING! But we desperately need a teacher in this area. Because each of us is eventually going to perish, and how nice it would be to have a few guidelines as we are getting close. In their book, Handbook for Mortals: Guidance for People Facing Serious Illness, authors Joanne Lynn, MD, Joan Harrold, MD, and Janice Lynch Schuster, MFA discuss the topic of dying from several perspectives: living with serious illness, helping families make wise decisions, getting the help you need, controlling pain, planning ahead, and enduring loss. It is a comprehensive and in... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4934334 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 19:12:29 +0100 4934334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4934739&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=36469&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fespeciallyheather%2FEH%2F%7E3%2FeKFzbBUMzVU%2F They come in waves. Sometime tidal waves, sometimes ripples that wash up the ocean shore. But they still come. I am still in the season of grief. Numbness has almost left, but grief, I can’t shake loose of. I do well talking about her to other people, actually I invite the conversation. But when I am alone…. I hate being alone. I am trying not to judge God by my present circumstances. I am trying really hard. But that in itself is hard. I know in my heart that He is the beginning and the end, that He is bigger than even this pain. But then my grief takes over and I am lost again. I am trying to guard my heart, protect it’s vulnerability from anything that satan might use to sway my trust in Christ, but even that, at times, is hard. Everything is hard when you grieve th... Especially Heather blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4934739 Tue, 14 Jun 2011 14:14:09 +0100 4934739 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4934337&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F06%2F13%2Fwhen-my-mother-died-she-told-me-to-try-to-enjoy-life-more%2F Happiness interview: Meghan O’Rourke. Meghan O’Rourke is a writer in many incarnations — an essayist, poet, critic, and editor. I got to know Meghan during the time that this blog appeared on Slate , and I was very eager to get my hands on her new book. The Long Goodbye is a memoir of her mother’s death from cancer in 2008, at the age of 55, when Meghan was 32 years old. Going through great unhappiness is one of the best, and most difficult, teachers of happiness, so I was very interested to hear what Meghan had to say. Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier? Meghan: Taking a walk. I used to run a lot, and that always made me happier (even if I was unhappy lacing up my shoes to do it). But I tore the cartilage in my right hip and n... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4934337 Mon, 13 Jun 2011 15:34:15 +0100 4934337 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4883677&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F05%2F30%2Fremembering-those-who-died-for-us-2011%2F It’s hard to repay the debt of a human life. Yet today in the United States, we remember those who died for us, fighting in wars to keep our freedoms safe from those who would take them away from us. War still rages around us, soldiers still fight today. And every month, soldiers die fighting for us. For our democracy. For our country. I’m not sure how to repay that debt. All I can do is remember and give thanks to those who fell in battle, because without their sacrifice, I’m not sure I’d be here living in one of the world’s greatest democracies. Memorial Day’s roots can be traced back to the Civil War, when people who honor those who fought in that bloody war by decorating the graves of the dead. After WWI, it was expanded to recognize the sacrifices g... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4883677 Mon, 30 May 2011 12:26:30 +0100 4883677 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4876487&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=36469&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fespeciallyheather%2FEH%2F%7E3%2Fu6iSqa-MJek%2F It is becoming less painful, the memories. Now when I think about you I, more times than not, smile and close my eyes. When I walk by pictures of you, I stop and remember with happiness not pain. But then there are those times when it becomes overbearing and the tears come rushing down my face. It is becoming easier to talk about you and not go numb. I’ve been thinking a lot about heaven lately. What it will be like. If you are enjoying it. I picture you, in your earthly body, running and skipping down the streets of gold, singing clearly. You have on a white dress and it is floating through the air as you twirl. But then I stop and think- Do I have a real picture of what heaven really is, or is it my human heart longing to see you and hold you again? I have so many questions tha... Especially Heather blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4876487 Sun, 29 May 2011 11:45:07 +0100 4876487 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4876484&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F05%2Fin-translation.html The cancer centre has implemented something new. When patients check in for treatment, we're asked to fill out a questionnaire related to our well-being (it has some acronym but I can't remember it). We're given the option of filling it in on a central computer but I'm really squeamish about germy public terminals. I always ask to fill the thing in manually (furthering my feeling that I am more of a Luddite than some of my seniors).Filling out the form involves reading statements such as "I am in pain" and then circling a number between 1 (no pain) and 7 (excruciating pain - or something like that). Most of my numbers were very low except for the ones about my emotional well being and sleep habits. My answers resulted in the following conversation with the well-meaning nurse who checked me... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4876484 Sat, 28 May 2011 17:00:00 +0100 4876484 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4848118&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=36469&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fespeciallyheather%2FEH%2F%7E3%2FEWqFM-Ys3mY%2F They say that the “firsts” are always hard. I experienced the first Easter through tears. I experienced the first Mothers Day through agonizing pain… and tonight I will experience the first “big bath tub” without Emma. Emma loved baths. She could live in the tub, literally. We have a jacuzzi tub in our master bath and she loved to turn the jets on and laugh and splash and sing. When we would say “bath”, she would have her clothes off in a flash and all of her toys that she had to have to complete her bathing experience. Her favorite being Baby Becca. She loved to wash her hair and and dunk her under the water. Which brings me to the title of my post. My parents have a pool, which Emma loved and yet hated. She would love to go to there house, put... Especially Heather blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4848118 Fri, 20 May 2011 13:54:57 +0100 4848118 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4841884&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=36469&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2Fespeciallyheather%2FEH%2F%7E3%2F3gdxLewoEcg%2F 2 days before the Lord called you home, I walked into your hospital room and prayed. I asked the Lord to give you peace, because I knew that you didn’t have long on this earth. I asked him to take away your pain, because I know you were in so much pain. I asked him to give me strength because I did not want to say goodbye. 1 Day before the Lord called you home, I sang to you all of the songs that we use to sing together. Even though you couldn’t sing them with me, I sang them to you. “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, “I see the moon”,” Emma Grace she so pretty”, “Itsy bitsy spider”, and your favorite “Deck The Halls”… I held your hand in mine and kissed your fingers. I memorized your face, like I had done so many ti... Especially Heather blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4841884 Wed, 18 May 2011 12:39:33 +0100 4841884 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4821096&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F05%2Fbeautiful-eyes.html That's what struck me when I met Sarah in person: she had the most beautiful deep brown eyes I had ever seen, with a lovely smile to match.It was February 2010 and we were both in attendance at the Annual Conference for Young Women Affected by Breast Cancer. We had met online through our online community, Mothers With Cancer.A short time after we met, Sarah found out that her breast cancer had become metastatic and she began treatment anew. A few weeks ago, she learned that the cancer had spread to her brain and she started radiation treatment. A couple of days ago, she was admitted to hospital with breathing issues. Last night, she passed away.I won't claim to have known beautiful Sarah better than I did. But I did consider her my friend. And I will miss her. Here are some things I knew a... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4821096 Thu, 12 May 2011 17:22:00 +0100 4821096 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4797878&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F05%2F07%2Fmays-contradictions-2%2F The month of May is one tinged with melancholy for members of my family. On May 4, 2002 my father dropped dead in his garden which, for him, could not have been a more suitable place. Yet he was only seventy-five, a birthday celebration only a few weeks earlier for which the entire family had [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4797878 Sat, 07 May 2011 16:44:23 +0100 4797878 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4794953&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fgreed-grief-and-the-choices-of-a-lifetime%2F As most of you already know, my daughter, Beth and I have just returned from a working trip to the high desert region of California. My sweet mother-in-law passed away last May and due to other family matters it has taken us a year to make it down there to clean out her home. The weather is also a factor because I cannot tolerate heat or sun. When we left home it was drizzling here in beautiful, green yet soggy Oregon. The contrast to the high desert is startling. Yucca trees, a few evergreens and lots of brown greeted us. It was also 90 degrees. I got out the sunscreen but still have many fever blisters. You all know I have trouble sitting, and had to go to the hotel and just lie down after the trip. We had drawn row 12 on our small commuter plane and got stuck right in front of the emerg... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4794953 Fri, 06 May 2011 20:36:00 +0100 4794953 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4789334&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F05%2F04%2Fpsych-central-roundup-the-death-of-osama-bin-laden%2F By now, you know the news: Osama bin Laden is no more. Whether he died in a blazing gunfight or was taken out by surprise (the reports are a little vague here), Seal Team 6 completed their mission. And for some people, that completed mission was cause for celebration.  Last Sunday evening and Monday morning, American flags were hoisted into the air, people stood out on the streets cheering and the internet was buzzing with elation. If you owned a Twitter or Facebook account, you saw it.  I certainly did.  In fact, I learned about bin Laden’s death before the President even announced it: I was Facebook chatting with the very friend who was sitting next to me almost 10 years ago when the twin towers came down and suddenly, status updates were exploding. “I think Osama bin La... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4789334 Wed, 04 May 2011 20:52:45 +0100 4789334 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4780458&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F05%2Fnot-really-end.html Did you know that the world is going to end on May 21st, 2011? I saw a guy on a street corner today with a sign that said just that. And then I saw a big-ass caravan with the same message. Contemplation of our impending collective doom helps to put yesterday's election into perspective. It doesn't matter if the Conservatives were gifted with a whopping majority if none of us is going to live long enough to deal with the consequences. There must be more of these end of the world types than I previously suspected. That would help me understand how it is that so many of us thought endorsing the Conservatives would be a good idea.Or something. You'll have to forgive me, it's been a hell of a day. I stayed up way too late watching the election results and then stumbled around like a zombie all ... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4780458 Wed, 04 May 2011 03:07:00 +0100 4780458 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4775432&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F05%2F02%2Fmental-health-needs-of-older-americans%2F As the baby boomers age here in the U.S., they are going to swell the ranks of seniors. And senior care — especially mental health care — is one of the most ignored in America. We act as though seniors don’t matter much, and few health care and mental health care professionals go into specializations, such as geriatric psychology, that can help senior citizens. Perhaps that will change, with more attention and focus provided on this group of people. Because as we age, we often face many of the same difficulties as we did earlier in life. Except these difficulties are often amplified, because of the loss of social support — our friends — and isolation — most often from our own family. The New York Times profiles Marc E. Agronin, M.D., a geriatric psychiat... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4775432 Mon, 02 May 2011 13:50:19 +0100 4775432 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4762858&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fthe-assologist-is-evolving%2F After writing this blog for almost five years, I find I have few secrets. My life is an open book. I’m one of those irritating women who talk to you in line at the market, have total strangers pick me out of a crowd to ask directions and always pet friendly, furry dogs at street fairs. I’ve always had a tongue that had a life of it’s own but now I’m far worse. My life changed about half-way through when, over a period of a few months, I developed two strange symptoms. Those two irritating and eventually painful problems changed my life forever. When I look back on the last 20+ years, I no longer recognize the woman I used to be. There is something about having chronic pain everyday of your life that causes you to evolve. I decided long ago it was up to me to decide if that evolutio... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4762858 Thu, 28 Apr 2011 21:08:12 +0100 4762858 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4734378&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36038&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Ftrevis-life-with-multiple-sclerosis-ms%2Fms-didnt-give-us-nuttin-we-took-it%2F The funeral mass for the first person I ever knew to have multiple sclerosis took place today. She lived a good life, a happy life, a full life. She’s remembered today for her love of family, of friends, and of travel. Goldine’s life with MS taught me much — likely far more than she would have ever known. Her love of travel in particular (oft with one of her daughters to help) made me look at my life with MS differently from the start. And today, in her honor, I state plainly that MS didn’t “give” us anything. If there is goodness in our life after MS that wasn’t there before; we took it! MS is a sly and evil thief. I’ll never give it the power of saying ‘MS gave me…’ and I think that if we do say something like that, we give too much credit to the disease... Life with MS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4734378 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 21:25:56 +0100 4734378 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4724182&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F04%2Fbittersweet-moment.html Yesterday afternoon, my baby fell asleep on my chest. He's almost 8 now and it had been years since this happened. He had two late nights followed by two early mornings, and he'd been tired and cranky. I suggested we curl up in bed for some quiet time. He had a new book to crack open and he was keen. But after awhile he grew restless. We talked about putting on a movie. I told him I felt tired and lazy. He said he did, too. After a few moments of lying quietly, his breath began to slow. Suddenly, he sat up, “Mama, could you stop feeling so lazy. I thought we were going to watch a movie!” “We could do that,” I answered. “But I thought we were going to have a little snooze first.” To my surprise, he said, “OK. I'll have a little snooze.” He put his head on my chest, and withi... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4724182 Mon, 18 Apr 2011 16:45:00 +0100 4724182 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4719986&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fgone%2F Life is filled with constant change As we grow, mature and learn Unfortunately it’s not all mental as Our bodies sometime take a turn. Yet, each of us is amazed Because life doesn’t stay the same; Relationships, jobs and health In a flash can rearrange. Each time the hand of fate comes down We face surprise and shock Because we want it all to stay the same We learn early how to pitch a squawk. Accidents, bad planning and stupidity Can throw us into a spin; It seems we’re always trying to cope, To adjust, never dreaming we could win. As we struggle to adjust our Rubik’s cube We blame ourselves when struck by fate, And we face fear, self-blame and loathing And try to give up, “That’s it, it’s just too late.” Yet, deep within us, after the initial surprise Is this glim... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4719986 Fri, 15 Apr 2011 15:15:00 +0100 4719986 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4696687&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F04%2F10%2Fwhat-not-to-say-to-a-grieving-family%2F Harold Kushner explains what not to say to a grieving family in his classic “When Bad Things Happen to Good People” using as an illustration the story of Job (the faithful, righteous, and pious man who loses his livestock, house, servants, and children, and is afflicted with boils all over his body). Having lost his own son, the rabbi knows all too well what helps and what hurts when trying to comfort a friend or relative. The three friends who came to console Job got terrible scores, and here’s why, according to Kushner… Because the friends had never been in Job’s position, they could not realize how unhelpful, how offensive it was for them to be judging Job, to be telling him he should not cry and complain so much. Even if they themselves had experienced si... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4696687 Sun, 10 Apr 2011 11:00:27 +0100 4696687 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4696889&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F04%2Fwoman-in-scarlet.html She was born on Easter and you would imagine her anything but a woman of scarlet. Or flowers, for that matter. Similar to me, her namesake of sorts, she loved them but didn't have many around. Born and raised on the lonesome windswept prairie outside Aberdeen, South Dakota, the flowers of her childhood were the wild roses, thistles, and fields of gold just after planting, before the crops choked out the flowers and surrounded her with corn and wheat.She had plenty of spunk, but in the quiet post-Great Depression, committed housewife and mother sense. Every now and then you got a glimpse of that spark, in the flash of her eyes as she shot a sarcastic remark back at Grandpa Al, when she giggled long until she went into fits of coughing over some silly joke; in the pack of cigarettes in her p... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4696889 Sat, 09 Apr 2011 09:38:00 +0100 4696889 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4684674&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F04%2Fearly-memories.html A few childhood memories remain incredibly vivid. Some have been worn into grooves in my brain, they have been retold so often. With those, I am unsure where my recollections end and those of others begin. Others, I am quite certain, are mine alone.Here are twenty memories, off the top of my head. Some I have likely shared here before but of some others, I have never spoken, let alone written:1. Sliding down the driveway at my friend's house, until my pants were worn out. I was wearing a jump suit with giraffes on it and I was in big trouble.2. Being in love with an airline pilot. He was my aunt's boyfriend and he brought me presents from all over the world. He also called me Miss Muffet.3. My father telling me that my baby sister had been born.Those first three memories were from when we ... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4684674 Wed, 06 Apr 2011 17:32:00 +0100 4684674 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4677049&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F04%2Fbottled-up.html Emotions, bewildered and with no home or expression in which to fly outward, get put in a bottle big enough to hold, stuffed down like constricted gas in a container of your own making.Medicine. Comes in bottles - not so pretty these days in their plastic with sanitary white labels and prescription numbers, but still amber. Temporary peacemaker for the bottled up emotion, temporary relaxation so your shoulders don't turn to stone, loosen your grip so you can hug someone in the deeps of your own emotional winter.Memories. Memories in bottles too, like a sweet perfume bottle you just lift the lid on to recapture joy, recapture someone long lost, like Evening in Paris brings Fern back to life for my aunt Rosalie. Rosalie with the fragmented memory of all childhood, brought back into the deep ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4677049 Tue, 05 Apr 2011 10:34:00 +0100 4677049 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4642686&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=35451&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jung-at-heart.com%2Fjung_at_heart%2Fwho-decides.html Last week, Neuroskeptic did two excellent posts on bereavement and the proposal to eliminate the exclusion of bereavement from the diagnosis of depression in the DSM V. Currently, it is not the practice to diagnose bereavement as depression under the assumption that grief, whose symptoms look very like depression, is a normal response to loss, especially the death of a loved one.  But it is proposed to eliminate this exclusion and treat even bereavement as depression. I feel a kind of horror at this. Because grief follows its own course and it is painful and I can't see a benefit to medicating it and making feeling better the goal. It is spring in Maine, even though as I write this the temperature is just barely above freezing. In the next few days and weeks the ice on the lakes will begi... Jung At Heart blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4642686 Mon, 28 Mar 2011 17:03:30 +0100 4642686 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4642676&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F03%2F27%2F8-survival-tips-for-the-spouse-of-a-terminally-ill-person%2F The other day, I had the honor of interviewing Owen Stanley Surman, M.D., a practicing hospital psychiatrist known internationally for his work on psychiatric and ethical aspects of solid organ transplantation. Following the death of his wife, Dr. Surman devoted six years to writer a memoir, The Wrong Side of an Illness: A Doctor’s Love Story, which includes a deeply personal and unique view of events both tragic and transcendent. He now lives in Boston with his new wife. Question: What words of wisdom would you give the spouse of a person struggling with chronic illness or terminally ill? Dr. Surman: Chronic illness and terminal illness have a pervasive impact on how we live our lives and in our sense of identity. Loss of a loved one affects the part of ourselves that has led us to ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4642676 Sun, 27 Mar 2011 15:02:30 +0100 4642676 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4600750&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F03%2Ffeeling.html I sit on the front stepsand feel grief in the dry windCoyotes howlingsing my heart's songlocked in longRemnants of rain drip off the roofthe rhythm of my fearthat life is cold and meaninglessand friends all disappearCold night airwashes sweetover life unfairI look out atWoods covered in mistand know Christcovers grief with His quilttear-stained cheeks and doubtof a still nightin the blanket of his tearsand I am comforted. (Source: Turquoise Gates) Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4600750 Wed, 16 Mar 2011 10:08:00 +0100 4600750 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4554775&cid=t_100145_137_f&fid=39091&url=http%3A%2F%2Falzheimmers.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F03%2Fmy-mother-died-of-alzheimers-disease.html Wow, it has been two months since I posted on this blog. Not much new in the Alzheimer's world as far as cures or new effective treatments. Of course the National Alzheimer's project passed, if you are suffering with AD or are a caregiver, this really does not change much in your life on a day to day basis. Perhaps our children or our children's children will not have to be stricken with AD.24 years ago today, March 6, 1987, my mother died from Alzheimer's disease. Her children were at her bedside as she took her last breath. It was five days before her seventieth birthday. I was 25 years old and a third year medical student. She had been diagnosed 9 years before she died and went through all the classic stages of AD. By the time she died it had been so long, since I had known he... Caregiver Survival: I Hate Alzheimers blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4554775 Sun, 06 Mar 2011 22:16:00 +0100 4554775 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4512430&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F02%2F23%2Fthe-two-worlds-of-grief-and-depression%2F Think back to the last time you suffered a major loss — particularly the death of a friend, loved one, or family member. You were knocked for a loop, of course. You cried. You felt a piercing, painful sense of loss and longing. Maybe you felt like the best part of you had been ripped away forever. You probably lost sleep, and didn’t feel much like eating. You may have felt this way for a few weeks, a few months, or even longer. All this belongs to the world of ordinary bereavement — not of clinical depression. Yet the two constructs of “normal grief” and major depression are a source of continued controversy and confusion — and not just among the general public. Many clinicians still find it hard to disentangle grief and depression, inspiring countless debates over ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4512430 Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:46:26 +0100 4512430 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4507546&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F02%2Fits-right-time.html There's a time for every season under heaven.Ecclesiastes 3:1The snow falls in grainy powdery magnificence, and we make ice cream.Amy gets a genetic diagnosis.I face some ghosts from my past.A dream withers and dies.I panic around new people.And so I am told I have grief and I have to feel it.I'm improvising, and the ice cream falters for a few minutes,and the kids are crowded around throwing out ideas.I balk at this whole grief idea.I run from grief.It's how I survived as a nurse.It's how I've survived as a parent.It's how I've survived as a cancer patient.But this seems to be the season. And just like the ice cream, that comes together in sprinkled splediforousness, this season seems to be for grief in a lot of ways. I give grief a little window, a little wiggle room in that deep down da... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4507546 Tue, 22 Feb 2011 21:38:00 +0100 4507546 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4495248&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F02%2F18%2F10-tips-to-mend-a-broken-heart%2F Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.” Especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. Mending a broken heart is never easy. There is no quick way to stop your heart from hurting so much. To stop loving isn’t an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.” But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 10 tips I’ve gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their heart and tried, ever so gradually, to move on. 1. Go through it, not ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4495248 Fri, 18 Feb 2011 20:56:05 +0100 4495248 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4460007&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F02%2F10%2Fcoping-with-grief-on-valentines-day%2F Losing a loved one stays with us forever. But holidays, in particular, can make the loss even tougher to handle. “Holidays tend to cause anniversary reactions,” according to George A. Bonanno, Ph.D, professor and chair of the Department of Counseling and Clinical Psychology, Teachers College at Columbia University. Anniversary reactions occur on the anniversary of an important event or holiday. These times remind us of the person who’s no longer with us, which can cause the pain of grief, he said. “Even the most resilient people have this.” With its focus on love, relationships and romance, Valentine’s Day can be especially difficult. As Gloria Lloyd, bereavement community program educator at Mary Washington Hospice, said, it’s hard to escape the enthusiasm, because remin... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4460007 Thu, 10 Feb 2011 11:00:35 +0100 4460007 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4433136&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F02%2F03%2F10-blogs-to-spark-your-creativity%2F Recently, I’ve talked quite a bit about connecting to our creative selves. (Yes, everyone is creative!) One way to access our creativity, I believe, is through inspiration from other amazing minds. In honor of that, I wanted to share 10 blogs that help me get creative (this is by no means an exhaustive list), find tons of right answers and most importantly, get super-excited about the world and all there is to see. In no particular order, they are: 1. Scoutie Girl. This blog features interesting independent craft and design work. As their about page states, “Simply put, Scoutie Girl is the blog with a penchant for the passionately handmade.” The posts are always a lovely surprise. Topics include creative living and mindful spending. 2. Susannah Conway Susannah is a writer and ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4433136 Thu, 03 Feb 2011 19:53:54 +0100 4433136 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4405990&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F01%2Fwelcome-to-my-life.html Earlier this week, my friend K. sent me an article from the New York Times on metastatic breast cancer that was the best piece of journalistic writing on metastatic breast cancer I've ever read. And I've read a lot on this subject.I cried when I read it (but as I told K., in a good way) because it resonated so deeply with me, juxtaposing the facts and the experiences of women living with cancer that can never be considered cured. I started to highlight the best bits to share with you here but ended up cutting and pasting more than two thirds of the article.I've decided that it's best not violate copyright or my own ethics and just post the link and ask you to please go read this article:A Pink Ribbon Race, Years Long.If you are reading this post on a site other than Not Just About Cancer (... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4405990 Fri, 28 Jan 2011 02:14:47 +0100 4405990 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4394528&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F25%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-january-25-2011%2F Almost a decade ago, I had a conversation with a friend that made me both infuriated and grateful. I don’t know how it started, but somehow we got to talking about depression. Essentially, he told me that depression was a made up disorder that helped put money in the pockets of mental health professionals. He didn’t see the need for medication and thought people should just buck up and be happy instead of feeling sad. Having a grandfather who suffered from depression, I was certain that depression was not only real, but a serious illness. And I was not only disturbed by his reaction, but angry. Although it’s been 10 years since the conversation, I often think about it. I’m not as upset as I was before. Although I still don’t agree with his statement, I ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4394528 Tue, 25 Jan 2011 13:43:59 +0100 4394528 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4399759&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F01%2F25%2Fthe-shack-allegory-and-empathy-but-forgiveness%2F “I brought a book I think you’ll find interesting,” my cousin said as we sat down for lunch recently, handing me a paperback copy of The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. I will not suggest motives she might have had in giving me this book other than the fact that she knows, perhaps as much [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4399759 Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:08:17 +0100 4399759 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4394687&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F01%2F25%2Fthe-shack-allegory-and-empathy-but-forgiveness%2F   “I brought a book I think you’ll find interesting,” my cousin said as we sat down for lunch recently, handing me a paperback copy of The Shack by Wm. Paul Young. I will not suggest motives she might have had in giving me this book other than the fact that she knows, perhaps as [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4394687 Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:08:17 +0100 4394687 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4377681&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fthe-circle-of-life-and-the-grieving-process%2F I realize I may sound like a cartoon or Elton John, but the Circle of Life is very real for all of us mere mortals. The simplistic approach may offend many self-proclaimed sophisticated adults, but life is truly just that simple. We’re born, we live, we wear out or run into trouble, and then we die. If you have not been touched by this circle, experiencing birth and death within the last year, then you are probably overdue. The joys of birth, the gut-wrenching pain of death, and all that happens in between represent this experience called life. Like the filling in a sandwich cookie, that “in between” is the most important part. I’ve never known anyone to scrape out the filling of an Oreo and toss it out just to eat the crispy cookie, have you? We are each of stuck with the whole co... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4377681 Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:44:28 +0100 4377681 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4377615&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F14%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-january-14-2011%2F The first month of a new year is often filled with fear, anticipation and sometimes frustration. There’s a whole lot of things we didn’t yet accomplish that we often feel pressured to do this year (lose weight, make more money, find our true love). And there’s often a sense of grief associated with that as we slowly say good-bye to 2010 and reflect on what we’re proud of what what we regret. Speaking of regrets, a lot of you had very different views about this statement told to me by a relative: “You haven’t really lived, if you haven’t had regrets.” (You can read their opinions here and contribute your own on our Facebook page.) If you feel regretful and frustrated about last year, there are still lots of things you can do to remedy that. In... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4377615 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 12:38:52 +0100 4377615 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4349544&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F14%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-january-14-2010%2F The first month of a new year is often filled with fear, anticipation and sometimes frustration. There’s a whole lot of things we didn’t yet accomplish that we often feel pressured to do this year (lose weight, make more money, find our true love). And there’s often a sense of grief associated with that as we slowly say good-bye to 2010 and reflect on what we’re proud of what what we regret. Speaking of regrets, a lot of you had very different views about this statement told to me by a relative: “You haven’t really lived, if you haven’t had regrets.” (You can read their opinions here and contribute your own on our Facebook page.) If you feel regretful and frustrated about last year, there are still lots of things you can do to remedy that. In... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4349544 Fri, 14 Jan 2011 12:38:52 +0100 4349544 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4331056&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F11%2Fthe-arizona-shootings-a-recurrent-american-tragedy%2F For many of us in the mental health field, the January 8 shooting in Tucson, Arizona was like a darker version of the movie, “Groundhog Day.” Surely we had seen this all before: the “senseless, horrific attack” on innocent persons; the “mentally disturbed young man” charged with murder; the ever-recurring polemical arguments between supporters and opponents of gun control. While the facts are still unfolding, and the accused shooter’s motivations — Jared Lee Loughner — still unclear, the murders in Arizona have once again raised a number of troubling questions: what if any link is there between violence and mental illness? Which problems in our health care system may contribute to untreated or inadequately treated mental illness? How should we balance civil libert... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4331056 Tue, 11 Jan 2011 11:25:52 +0100 4331056 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4322550&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F07%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-january-7-2011%2F The first month in the new year is often filled with reflections. We reflect on the past year. We reflect on what’s still to come. We reflect on the choices we made, good and bad, and wonder what we can do better for the coming year. Do you feel the inner struggle with the past in one hand and your future on the other? Reflections often bring both excitement for the new year and a mourning for what we haven’t yet achieved. As we sink our toes into 2011, what will you wish for? What are your dreams? Whether you want to create a more healthy work/life balance, be happier, or more compassionate, these posts will help you get there. It’s 5 posts to start the ending of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 right. Enjoy! Does Work/Life Conflict Cause You Stress? Dialectical Behavior T... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4322550 Fri, 07 Jan 2011 12:48:40 +0100 4322550 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4318371&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F06%2Fthe-story-of-your-life-in-six-words%2F Many people think their lives aren’t interesting enough or worthy enough of being committed to paper, even in journals or on scraps of napkins (my preferred writing materials). Whenever I tell people about the importance of journaling or leaving behind some sort of written record of their lives for their families, they usually say the same thing: “Oh, who’d want to read that?” or “My life isn’t that exciting” or “I don’t have much to say.” But just like creativity is in our bones, writing down our lives isn’t just worthwhile. It is within us and it’s a wonderful thing to do to process our world. It’s even good for us. For instance, journaling provides a variety of health and wellness benefits. One way to write our stori... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4318371 Thu, 06 Jan 2011 20:04:12 +0100 4318371 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4302958&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2011%2F01%2Fhappy-new-year.html In 2010, I:Made soup.Started running again and kept at it (in fact, I did the Resolution Run 5K last night before breaking into the wine and fondue).Started editing my novel. It doesn't really have an ending yet but I don't totally hate what I've written, so that's a start.Found a writing buddy.Knit a lot of dish cloths.Played lots of Scrabble/LexulousHad my heartbroken when my dog died.Went to Florida in the in the summer to get away from a heat wave.Spent some quality time with girlfriends.Organized a team for the Run for the Cure, called No Pink for Profit. By run day, we were more than 40 women and we raised more than $20,000.Fell in love with Twitter.Finally got a smart phone.Learned that grief is not a linear process.Spent a lot of time thinking about community, friends and family. I... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4302958 Sat, 01 Jan 2011 17:54:00 +0100 4302958 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4302887&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2011%2F01%2F01%2F2011-the-power-of-positive-being%2F Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~Dalai Lama Last year I began the Proof Positive blog here at Psych Central. The goal was to review the best research in positive psychology and offer applications from this research for everyday use. All of the techniques for promoting wellbeing and happiness were drawn from the research literature, and I experimented with each of them. Some had more power that others, and some were more difficult to maintain. But overall there was a clear, strong, positive shift not only in my way of thinking, but also in the degree of positive experiences noted, encountered, and received. This is not to say that the miserable things that come with being human stopped happening, or the sorrows and grief from losses weren’t there; they certainly were. B... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4302887 Sat, 01 Jan 2011 15:01:17 +0100 4302887 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4272366&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34859&url=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.davemsw.com%2Farchives%2F2010%2F12%2Fsurviving_the_holiday_blues.php Image via WikipediaThe holiday season is such a joyous time of year. Colored lights adorn houses and business. Thoughts of holidays past fill our minds and conversations. But not everyone can enjoy the holiday season. Some of us inevitably find as the holidays approach what is called the "holiday blues".The holiday blues are quite common. We expect to enjoy ourselves during the holidays. Those around us expect we will enjoy holiday celebrations and their company as well. We feel that pressure within ourselves and others. But sometimes what we really need is acceptance of ourselves and others. There are many things that may bother us during the holidays: a death in the family, financial set backs, separations from loved ones due to work, military deployment, or other reasons. There can be l... Ψ Dare To Dream... blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4272366 Mon, 20 Dec 2010 01:14:15 +0100 4272366 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4265738&cid=t_100145_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fmay-we-all-die-so-well%2F2010.12.17 Everyone liked him. Though his later years (the only ones in which I knew him) took away his ability to do most things, and though he was in great pain every day, it was easy to see the mischief in his eyes. The subtle humor was still there, coming out of a man who was weak, in pain, dying. She lived for him. She was always telling me of his pain, frustrated with the fact that he didn’t tell me enough. She was anxious about each complaint of his, wondering if this was the one that would take him away from her. Many of her problems were driven by this anxiety and fears, and she spent many hours in my office giving witness to them through her tears. As his health failed, I wondered about her future. He was the center of her life, the source of her energy, joy, purpose. How could she manag... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4265738 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 16:00:23 +0100 4265738 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4266156&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F12%2Fwhen-i-grieve-alone.html I was plunged deep into a hidden pain yesterday, a pain I am quiet about because I do not want to hurt others by revealing my own hurt in the wrong way. (Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God... I Corinthians 10:32)Moonrise in NovemberYet in the depths, when the tears become a river, and the sobs escape even though I hug my knees to my chest hard and dig my nails into my own flesh...it is the Man of Sorrows who sits with me in my grief. A baby born to die...who escaped the murder of all male infants ordered by an evil king...the one who prayed that the cup of the Cross be lifted from his trembling lips. Emmanuel...God with us. He is here, Emmanuel, on the bathroom floor with me as I weep. Inside my broken heart, feeling every awful twinge and groaning fo... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4266156 Fri, 17 Dec 2010 01:26:00 +0100 4266156 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4241910&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2F08%2Fmusic-therapy-after-which-you-may-need-some-without-the-music%2F I cannot remember a time when music was not a vital part of my life.  Music is in my genes, especially from my mother’s side of the family, with my grandparents having been matched up in the early 1920s as a violinist/fiddler being accompanied by his pianist.  What I wouldn’t give for a cell-phone video [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4241910 Wed, 08 Dec 2010 15:12:55 +0100 4241910 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4233362&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2F06%2Fdecember-6-1989-universite-de-montreal%25e2%2580%2599s-ecole-polytechnique%2F Fourteen women…killed en masse because they were women Geneviève Bergeron, 21, was a second year scholarship student in civil engineering. Hélène Colgan, 23, was in her final year of mechanical engineering and planned to pursue her master’s degree. Nathalie Croteau, 23, was in her final year of mechanical engineering. Barbara Daigneault, 22, was a teaching [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4233362 Mon, 06 Dec 2010 05:57:48 +0100 4233362 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4233373&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F12%2Flooking-in-on-grief.html He left her - this whole earth - early in spring. Her jaw was tight and tears fell silent through all our conversations. We walked down the steep hill in back and cried with her while the children swung on the swings he built, played with the dogs he loved.Summer came and she seemed better, the tears weren't her constant companions any longer. She showed us the garden she somehow managed to plant and we marveled at the pumpkin vines growing thick amongst the weeds. Neighbors mowed her lawn and it seemed like every time we brought her a meal there was one still warm in the fridge, the gift of another helpless friend who brought food instead of words.Autumn. She seemed to be recovering. She talked more about her children and their futures than she did the husband she lost. She seemed to be s... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4233373 Mon, 06 Dec 2010 01:52:00 +0100 4233373 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4220414&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F12%2F01%2Fambulance-chasers-aside-world-aids-day-provides-an-important-focus%2F By “ambulance chasers” I mean media who wish they could report on the illness, the meds, a cure and some drama all in about 52 seconds.  And they try. This year, rather than run to the annual UNAIDS report on HIV prevalence (good news and bad news as usual), I invested some emotional energy in [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4220414 Thu, 02 Dec 2010 02:32:00 +0100 4220414 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4207336&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F11%2F28%2Fthe-man-who-did-not-take-his-medicine-and-the-dog-who-saved-him%2F Today’s guest post is by Dr. Olajide Williams, a general neurologist with special interest in stroke. He is Associate Professor of Clinical Neurology at Columbia University. The following story is an excerpt from his book, “Stroke Diaries,” which is a collection of his experiences, both somber and hopeful. I find this piece on Oxford University Press’s blog, which you can get to by clicking here. Pedro was lying on the bathroom floor next to the toilet bowl. Water was still running from rusty faucet, overflowing the sink, and pooling around his body as he lay limp on wet porcelain tiles. Lucy was standing over him and whining. The young black Labrador retriever had not left her owner’s side since the previous night. It was as if she had predicted it, as if sh... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4207336 Sun, 28 Nov 2010 18:50:34 +0100 4207336 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4206050&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F11%2Fempty-places.html Grief became to her like breathing; she couldn't rise or go to sleep without the pressing feel of it against her heart, the weight of it like a suitcase she didn't know how to unpack. ~Karen White, On Folly BeachThe holiday season descends and with it the joy of the circle of family. Empty seats hover like ghosts - we don't set them, but they are there, in our hearts, as we look around at the beloved faces and the mind constructs a list of those gone now for this season. I read that some people set the places, an empty chair, a plate never dirtied; I wonder if those people know better how to unpack the suitcase of grief, that they can stare it in the eyes at the dinner table.The circle of life continues though we resist the gravity of time's passing. I wonder, too, at God's wisdom that He ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4206050 Sat, 27 Nov 2010 16:05:00 +0100 4206050 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4179412&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fsearching-for-thanksgiving%2F As children we’re taught the basics. We’re told to say, “Thank you,” when someone gives us a gift, whether or not we like it. We’re taught the magic word, “Please.” We also learn when we’re young not to wander into the street without looking both ways. Oh my, childhood is so full of dos and don’ts, as we are taught to become civil individuals, isn’t it? We learn so much about life that is basic to our knowledge to survive in this world. Day-to-day life was full of routine, learning, discipline, and friendships. The times that shine the brightest, however, are the holidays. Families dressed in their finest, the odors of fine food, and the joys of seeing faces you didn’t often see. The feeling of family love was and is wonderful. I know we all have many memories of Than... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4179412 Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:53:55 +0100 4179412 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4142808&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F11%2F06%2Fon-mourning-the-death-of-a-pet%2F My friend, Priscilla, just lost her best friend (okay, after her husband, Jimmy). On her blog, she writes: Our beloved golden retriever died this morning, peacefully, after spending a wonderful week by our side on Martha’s Vineyard, at the beach, where she ran into the ocean, and in the woods, where she took a long walk with me. She was 14 years old, my zen teacher, and my most constant meditation partner. We loved her so much. I know how traumatic losing a pet can be. I’m bracing for it myself, as one or both of our two Retriever-Chow mutts could go in the next two years. I found the Pet Loss Support Page online, which includes “Ten Tips on Coping with Pet Loss” from Moira Anderson Allen, M.Ed. I’ve excerpted the first five below. Anyone who considers a pet ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4142808 Sat, 06 Nov 2010 16:01:32 +0100 4142808 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4139433&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F11%2Fblinded-blurred-borne.html Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.My salvation and my honor depend on God;he is my mighty rock, my refuge.Trust in him at all times, O people;pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.Selah~ Psalm 62:5-8 ~I sat with my Bible open but blinded by tears. On my knees in new ways, my heart broken into a million new and tiny pieces when my baby died a year ago...the baby who was such a miracle that first day. Cousin-twins for a second time running, my sister and I burgeoning with babes at the same time, living an eighth of a mile apart, sharing every joy and wave of nausea, the unpacking of the baby clothes and the stocking of the nursery in expectation. Dreams awakened, not by my own ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4139433 Fri, 05 Nov 2010 11:24:00 +0100 4139433 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4077320&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F10%2F17%2Flet-me-live-until-i-die-an-interview-with-thea-bowman%2F Following are excerpts from an interview with Thea Bowman, a Franciscan Sister who became a huge inspiration to black Catholic communities, and to wider circles for her joy and gratitude, her nobility of spirit, and her very real spirituality. The interview, published in Praying magazine and US Catholic, was conducted shortly before she died from cancer, in March 1990, at the age of 53. For me, she is the picture of courage and perseverance of a person living gracefully with pain. Question: What kind of changes have you had to make in your life because of the cancer? Thea Bowman: Part of my approach to my illness has been to say I want to choose life, I want to keep going, I want to live fully until I die … I don’t know what my future holds. In the meantime, I am making a cons... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4077320 Sun, 17 Oct 2010 13:21:40 +0100 4077320 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4031306&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F10%2F04%2Fmental-health-awareness-week%2F So this is the 20th anniversary since Congress first established Mental Health Awareness Week as the first week in October. The effort to increase awareness about mental health is based in the history of numerous government reports and well-meaning workgroups and such that have found that stigma still exists surrounding the diagnosis of mental disorders. Surprise, surprise. Of course it still exists. People who’ve never encountered someone living with a mental illness still believe it’s the kind of thing that “happens to other people.” But it happens to a lot more “other people” than anyone realizes. In our lifetime, 1 in 5 Americans will have a diagnosable mental disorder. And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention just announced last week that ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4031306 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 18:30:31 +0100 4031306 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4027315&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F10%2Fyoure-missing.html A year ago, I started to wonder.  The missed period, the fatigue, the nausea every morning...I knew the signs.  Didn't really believe them, because I had a tubal, and who gets pregnant after a tubal?  It took me almost 4 weeks to take a pregnancy test...and then only by Aaron's urging.  Now, a year has passed.  A year you've spent in heaven, my little second son.  For almost a year now, we've mourned you.  Missed your nursing, and your night wakings, and the diapers, and unpacking the baby clothes...missed getting to know your personality, your own little quirks.  We've wondered if you'd have loved trains like Caleb.  We've thought about how different our lives would be with you in them.Today your Papa rolled a big stone up into Echo Woods onto ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4027315 Mon, 04 Oct 2010 11:28:00 +0100 4027315 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4027212&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F10%2F03%2F8-ways-to-manage-anxiety-on-an-anniversary%2F Most of us circle a few days of the calendar year that we know will be difficult to get through: the anniversary of a death, traumatic event, or even happy occasion. These dates are charged with emotion. Sometimes we feel trapped by these dates — like there’s nothing we can do to stop them. The approaching date creates a sense of panic and anxiety in many of us, and we can feel out of control. The one benefit from anniversary anxiety is that we can predict it and therefore prepare for it. Here are 8 ways to do just that. 1. Forecast your emotions. You’ve circled the day. You know it’s coming. Now get honest with yourself about how you might feel on that day. If it’s the anniversary of a death of a loved one, get ready to celebrate that person’s life wit... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4027212 Sun, 03 Oct 2010 13:30:09 +0100 4027212 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4003293&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F09%2F27%2F10-challenges-for-parents-with-chronic-illness%2F In the Parents Magazine article, “Mommy Isn’t Feeling Well Today,” Sarah Mahoney interviews many experts: professionals, parents who have chronic illness and sometimes, as in my case, people who are both. I was honored to be among them. The article is impressive in how it covers many of the challenges parents face every day rearing their children while their health is seriously compromised. Below, I summarize the article’s most salient points and add my comments: 1. “Handling chronic illness is about learning to live in balance,” said Rosalind Doran, Psy.D. Many of us learn the hard way that if we don’t pay attention to what and how much we do in all spheres of our lives we can quickly over-do. The result is the same as when the tires on our car a... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4003293 Mon, 27 Sep 2010 14:50:47 +0100 4003293 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4003064&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Fwhat-suffering-says-about-prosperity.html These days are filled with troubleAnd the nights feel like they’re all getting longerThese days are dark and greyLike that storm rolling in across the waterThere’s a strong wind blowingI push on it pushes backIt’s a hard timeBut I know I’ll get through itJust gotta lean into itThis ain’t where I thought I’d beIf I could I’d stop it now and I’d rewind itBut this ain’t where I’m gonna fallIf there’s a way to fightI know I’m gonna find it~ Lean Into It, Little Big TownMoments with my nephew - the "cousin-twin" to the baby I lost - in the morning sun.Today, in church, I listened with questions swirling: am I experiencing the blessings and benefits of being a child of God?  To outward appearances, perhaps not.  I'm tired.  The dark circles around my eyes, ... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4003064 Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:01:00 +0100 4003064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3969150&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Fgray.html The day glints raw and gray through the kitchen pane.  We read the last two Psalms for devotions this morning, the kids in slippers and me under wool against the cold filtering through the crack in the bedroom window. There is a lot of singing in Psalms 149 and 150, a call of the peasant saints to battle.  This morning, I am tethered in flight, my mouth full of rust instead of song.As Katy pulls on pair after pair of jeans in the kitchen behind me...this pair too tight, and this one, too...my thumb rests idly on the keypad of the phone, the doctor's number so long memorized scrolling past my mind's eye marquee endlessly.  The checkbook is empty and much needed relief has been delayed...again.  Our favorite cat lies dead in a ditch, waiting for us to pull on clothes to g... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3969150 Tue, 14 Sep 2010 14:31:00 +0100 3969150 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3965647&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Flight-has-gone-out.html I just learned the very sad news that Christine Lynds passed away last Friday.Chris was a strong, smart woman, who inspired and gave hope to so many people who's lived had been affected by cancer. We shared an oncologist and I appreciated her outlook towards living with advanced breast cancer.I was also more than a little in awe of her. She was active and fit and a true community activist. The first time I met Christine in person, she had brought a posse of women who'd lived through breast cancer to my book launch. The second time I met her, she came to collect a prosthetic breast that I no longer wore so that it could find a new home with a friend of hers. We sat and drank coffee on my couch and talked about our boys and our dogs.I know that she loved to organize people and projects and t... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3965647 Mon, 13 Sep 2010 19:22:00 +0100 3965647 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3965651&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F09%2Fgifts-along-way-to-grave.html A week ago, they danced across the rock ledges on the shore of The Big Lake in the hours after the exhausting funeral. Propped against each other, even tired as children, watching the waves foam up laying tireless, endless siege on the black basalt shore.I looked over at my brother and his beautiful wife, second baby on the way, and it struck me that his hands are a man's hands.I turned my face to the sun to soothe the ache that welled up inside, babe in partial seizure cuddled on my lap, exhausted from her rock climbing.  Let it soak in that it is a blessing that she can jump those rock ledges...even part of the time.A fellow mom and blogger has just returned from Guatemala and writes that she will forever fight the middle ground.  (that middle ground that I so long for when I a... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3965651 Mon, 13 Sep 2010 18:41:00 +0100 3965651 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3954257&cid=t_100145_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fis-there-a-rule-book-on-grief%2F2010.09.10 She looked down toward her feet at the end of her visit. “I’ve got one more question, doctor,” she said, hesitating. I turned toward her and waited for her, letting her ask on her own time. Clearly this was something difficult for her to ask. “When will I get over the death of my husband? It’s been ten years, and I still wake up each morning thinking he’s there. I still come home wanting him to be there. Am I crazy?” Her face showed the shame that was so clear in her words. I had been along with her during the death of her husband, and she handled that period with much grace and strength. Now the silence at home is deafening. People around her, on the other hand, are far too quick to tell her how to grieve. (more…) *This blog post was originally published at... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3954257 Fri, 10 Sep 2010 12:00:02 +0100 3954257 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3954308&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F09%2F09%2Fan-emotional-timeline-of-911%2F As we approach the ninth anniversary of 9/11, researchers writing in Psychological Science this week analyzed 85,000 text pages sent through pagers during the 2 hours before and 18 hours after 9/11 took place. (You do remember what a pager is, don’t you?) WikiLeaks, the website in the news lately for other reasons, has made the 573,000 lines consisting of 6.4 million words freely available on its website for the past year. What would these 85,000 pages tell us about the human emotion that people were expressing during those 20 hours? Researchers’ favorite tool when it comes to text analysis is the good ole Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count (LIWC). So it’s no surprise that’s what these researchers also turned to to analyze the word content of these communications for... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3954308 Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:30:44 +0100 3954308 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3933091&cid=t_100145_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fthe-right-to-mourn%2F2010.09.03 I seem to have had a run on bereavement recently, in that I’ve had several patients who have lost loved ones. Some have wound up in my office for unrelated complaints, only to have the grief spill out. I’ve become aware of the struggles of others via Facebook. I’ve found this handout (from Family Practice Management several years ago) to be very useful. I keep copies in my office and hand them out when needed, but it occurs to me that having another way to disseminate this helpful information would be a good idea. (more…) *This blog post was originally published at Musings of a Dinosaur* (Source: Better Health) Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3933091 Fri, 03 Sep 2010 12:00:14 +0100 3933091 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3924942&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F09%2F01%2F9-tips-for-coping-with-a-hurricane%2F With another hurricane on the warpath up the East Coast of the U.S. this week, many people are scrambling for shelter and safety. Evacuations are taking place, and while everyone is rightfully focused on their physical safety, our emotional health is at risk during times of increased stress too. There are ways you can better cope emotionally with an impending hurricane — to brace yourself emotionally from the significant amounts of stress you’re about to endure. One of the most important things to keep in mind is that a hurricane is a fairly short natural event. For most people, it means having to deal with a couple of days of moving out of the area and then moving back. While the effects of the hurricane may endure much longer — especially if your home was damaged or des... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3924942 Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:30:09 +0100 3924942 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3915253&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F08%2Fgeneration-waits-in-heaven.html Tonight I cooked meals for a brother in need in memory of my Grandma Fern. I pumped gas in my car and thought of my Grandpa Frank, who I never met. I told a story to my kids and thought of my Grandpa Al, who died in May. And then heard that my Grandma Irma is gone to heaven today. I will miss her hands, her nightgowns, her kind heart and her easy smile, watching TV game shows (she always knew the answer first), and reading her hand-me-down murder mysteries. There was no warning or illness, just a kind neighbor who checked on Grandma daily and found her today beside her bed.  As a nurse, my heart breaks that she may have suffered alone.  But my brother Daniel had wise words - "she may have been in pain, but she didn't suffer because she knew she was going home to be with Grandpa".... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3915253 Tue, 31 Aug 2010 03:32:00 +0100 3915253 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3876715&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F08%2F17%2Fwhere-do-friends-go-when-youre-coping-with-a-crisis%2F Have you ever noticed that when something bad happens to you or to someone close to you in your life (like a son or daughter, or a parent), some friends might offer help, while others disappear? This seemingly becomes more the case as we get older. I was reading this interesting essay in The New York Times today and stumbled upon an explanation for this behavior — the guy quoted in the article called it “stiff arming” or “pseudo-care.” A friend offers help to you in your time of need, but then disappears. Why do people do this? Are they afraid bad luck is “catching”? The author of this essay describes how both her daughters suffered serious health problems in the same year — one from a rare disease, and the other from anorexia. Then she notic... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3876715 Tue, 17 Aug 2010 19:11:01 +0100 3876715 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3849039&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F08%2Fgratitude.html The events of the past week, which I'll list in a moment, were enough to put me over the edge--right up there with the day I first found out that I had cancer and the day I found out my cancer had metastasized to my bones. But they didn't, and that is what this post is all about. During the past week or two, I've had to face:The death of my uncle, my mother's younger brother. His funeral was last Friday, the day I was scheduled for surgery.Also during the past week, I received an e-mail from my ex-husband, Kazuhiro Babe, who abandoned Older Son 14 years ago. Kazuhiro made an outrageous request of me which I am not prepared to grant. Then there was Friday's surgery, to place four gold seeds in the bones of my sacrum so that Cyberknife Guy can work his m... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3849039 Mon, 09 Aug 2010 20:49:13 +0100 3849039 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3808824&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F08%2Ffull-weekend.html Summer seems to be gathering speed as July waned quickly into August, and we were adrift in birthdays and barbecues and baseball games.  Aaron turned 36 on Saturday, in the midst of a weekend on call, full of procedures and disasters to tend to at work.  I love how the children look like sparks flying off his fire in this photo, as they bend like reeds in the glee of giving gifts.Amy's weekend was full of partial seizures, and a few full-blown ones as well.  I have noticed they are clustering on the weekends, which is a call to slow down again as a family.  Just when things seem to be under control, and we start to pile on the fun as we dance in joy that sickness is abating, the seizures come thundering back to remind us that this is not a temporary change in our lives.... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3808824 Mon, 02 Aug 2010 04:38:00 +0100 3808824 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3743555&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F07%2F11%2Fwhy-suicide-an-interview-with-eric-marcus%2F Today I have the pleasure of interviewing New York Times bestselling author Eric Marcus on the important topic of suicide. Eric is the author of several books, including “Is It A Choice?, Making Gay History,” and “Together Forever.” He is also co-author of “Breaking the Surface,” the #1 New York Times bestselling autobiography of Olympic diving champion Greg Louganis. For more information, please visit: www.ericmarcus.com and www.whysuicidebook.com. Question: Why did you write “Why Suicide?” Eric: When I started work on the original edition of “Why Suicide?” in 1987, I knew that I wanted to write the kind of book that I wish had been available to my mother when my father killed himself in 1970 so she would have known what to say a... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3743555 Sun, 11 Jul 2010 12:29:28 +0100 3743555 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3699547&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F06%2F25%2Fbest-of-our-blogs-june-25-2010%2F Well it’s here! We’re officially in the midst of summer. In fact, we’re almost at the end of June. July here we come! Yet, for some of us summer doesn’t automatically mean fun. There’s the oil spill, for example, the economy and everything else on the news. Added to that are our plain old daily concerns on everything from our weight to our empty wallets. Yes, we definitely need an extra boost to have fun as adults. It’s not just about ice-cream cones or playing in the sand anymore, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. If we have to work harder to have fun than so be it. We deserve to play as much as any kid out there! Even if you can’t get away this summer because the cost of a vacation is just too much for you this year, there’... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3699547 Fri, 25 Jun 2010 11:41:48 +0100 3699547 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3691064&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fdark-path.html But that was a long time and no matter how I tryThe years just flow by like a broken down dam.There's flies in the kitchen I can hear 'em there buzzingAnd I ain't done nothing since I woke up today.How can a person go to work in the morningAnd come home in the evening and have nothing to say.Just give me one thing that I can hold on toTo believe in this living is just a hard way to go~John Prine~Searching.  I am sure I have questions answered, so positive I practically skip instead of walking.  And then, in the darkness of a new time of testing, I turn my ankle in the same holes.  One minute, I have the clearest sight and surest perspective, as a worshiping woman confident in her faith.  The next, I am blinded by my ignorance and my tears as I struggle with the weight o... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3691064 Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:49:00 +0100 3691064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3676855&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fjasper-friendly-bear-kingston-wayne-aka.html If you are reading this post on a site other than Not Just About Cancer (besides Facebook or a feed reader), you are reading stolen content. (Source: Not just about cancer) Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3676855 Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:29:00 +0100 3676855 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3671968&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fok.html I want to let you all know (those of you who have been asking, wondering or worrying) that the reason I've not blogged since Friday is that I've been incredibly busy and that I haven't fallen completely apart.I'm still feeling incredibly sad but there have also been some unbelievably beautiful moments in the last few days and those have kept me going.I'll try and find some time to blog tomorrow afternoon but I wanted to take a moment tonight to say thanks to each one of you who have offered your love, support and understanding.We're keeping J-Dog as comfortable as we can for as long as we can and I am spoiling him rotten (lots of treats, feeding him from the table, wet food and lots of cuddles).Goodnight blogosphere. Thank you for reminding me why I love you so much.If you are reading this... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3671968 Thu, 17 Jun 2010 03:19:00 +0100 3671968 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3666020&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F06%2F16%2Fif-you-build-it-he-will-come-on-pursuing-our-dreams%2F “If you build it, he will come” is the famous line in the classic 1989 flick, “Field of Dreams.” When Iowa corn farmer Ray Kinsella (Kevin Costner) starts hearing voices to build a baseball diamond in his fields — sacrificing all the income from his crop — everyone thinks he’s gone mad. He has. Sort of. But then he sees Shoeless Joe Jackson (Ray Liotta) on the field, and the details begin to fall into place. It’s funny how you pick up different things in a movie depending on where you are in life. The movie came out just as I was graduating from high school and figuring out how to live my life sober. My vision was very black and white then. It has to be in the early days of sobriety, or else you’ll end up drunk. So I remember the &#8220... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3666020 Wed, 16 Jun 2010 11:29:10 +0100 3666020 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3655757&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2F10-in-june-part-two-writing-through.html June is a very busy month. The end of the academic year means that there are meetings, plays and endless school-related events (most are fun but they do keep me busy). Also, I've been very distracted because J-Dog (known to us as Jasper Friendly Bear) is very sick.We are waiting on the biopsy results of tissue taken from several large tumours in his mouth. Honestly, it doesn't look good. Even if the tumours are benign, which is highly unlikely, the surgery to remove the growths would be dangerous and painful (not the mention the fact that having half his upper jaw removed would leave him with a dubious quality of life). Leaving them where they are is out of the question because they are making him very uncomfortable and affecting both his breathing and his ability to swallow.We love this d... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3655757 Sat, 12 Jun 2010 00:14:00 +0100 3655757 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3648599&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F06%2F10%2Fhow-do-you-heal-loneliness%2F If I had to name the most common complaint I hear among people with depression, it is that they are lonely. Just a little while back, I replied on a thread within Group Beyond Blue to a woman who started a thread called “Who Do I Turn To?” She wants so badly to connect with another woman — as the anchors in her life, her mother and friends, have either passed on or moved. So many of us are lonely. It is at the core of so many disorders and illnesses. Not just the imaginary ones made up in our psyches (or so many think), but heart disease and immunity functions and nervous system disorders. Many of our health issues in this country stem from loneliness. In his PsychCentral blog entry, “Loneliness Is Not a DSM-5 Disorder, But It Still Hurts,” Psychiatrist Ron Pi... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3648599 Thu, 10 Jun 2010 10:05:27 +0100 3648599 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3635994&cid=t_100145_137_f&fid=39091&url=http%3A%2F%2Falzheimmers.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fhelplessness-of-alzheimers.html The process of living through Alzheimer's disease in a loved one is essentially an emotional prison. You are stuck behind the walls of helplessness. You can't stop the disease from progressing, you can't reverse it, you can't cure it. you have no control of the situation. You are involved  very passively and helplessly in a process. Sort of like being caught in a tornado, and waiting for the storm to end, wondering how much destruction will be there, and if you will even make it, and of course in the middle of the storm you are not sure it will ever end.Prison, you freedom, your control is taken away. It leads to anger and frustration, we often end up lashing out at those whom are closest to us, the guilt leads to more anger. You remember the loved one in better times and you wan... Caregiver Survival: I Hate Alzheimers blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3635994 Sun, 06 Jun 2010 21:17:00 +0100 3635994 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3632401&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F06%2Fwell-hello-there.html Yikes!It's been a while, hasn't it?I seem to have lost my blogging mojo. I remember a while back when Average Jane wrote that her blogging had been derailed (my word, not hers) by Twitter and Facebook. I get that now. Whenever I have a quick observation or a link to share, I can gratify myself instantly with Twitter (I'm lauriek, by the way). And while each tweet does go to Facebook and the sidebar of Not Just About Cancer (on the right - see it there?), it hasn't done much for my blogging.I don't want to give up the blog though, so I'll try and re-commit to posting regularly (how's that for hedging my bets?).On the cancer front, there is a little news. I loved having a break in April. That month also brought another clean CT scan. My oncologist continues to be happy with how things are go... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3632401 Fri, 04 Jun 2010 17:09:00 +0100 3632401 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3614692&cid=t_100145_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEufvLioMtWU%2F Grief may be expressed–without the aid of alcohol, drugs When Joanne and Bob (not their real names) came to the Center for Grief in St. Paul, Minn., after their daughter’s death, they were paralyzed by loss. They couldn’t sleep or work, and their relationship was eroding. "We also quickly discovered they were attempting to anesthetize their pain by drinking it away," said Tom Ellis, the nonprofit center’s executive director and the author of an upcoming book, "The Heart of Grief: New Understandings of Loss." "They had adopted the ritual of consuming several bottles of wine with dinner and would come to therapy exhausted, overwhelmed, and ‘stuck’ in the grieving process. Before we could deal with issues of loss, they needed to deal ... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3614692 Mon, 31 May 2010 15:02:21 +0100 3614692 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607556&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F05%2F28%2Fnow-what-depression-at-graduation-or-any-transition%2F I read somewhere that a large number of Nobel Prize winners become depressed after receiving their honor because their sense of purpose has been taken away. They have to grieve their pre-Nobel Prize life and find a new way of being, something to get excited about that will get you out of bed in the morning. The same is true, to some extent, when you graduate. With Commencement often comes an emptiness, a sense of loss. Much joy and relief, yes. But also a “what the hell do I do now?” response. For highly sensitive persons like myself, every kind of life transition — be it graduation, a new job, a baby — comes with a few challenges and their offspring. How to gracefully maneuver between point A and point B? Like you would with any other mourning process. Because yo... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607556 Fri, 28 May 2010 15:45:17 +0100 3607556 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3607677&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fhow-important-is-stuff-in-a-life-of-chronic-pain%2F Do you ever wonder what you’ll leave behind? With Memorial Day approaching and the recent loss of my sweet mother-in-law, I’ve had a lot of time this week to think about the debris we leave behind. We all know we leave a trail of possessions and financial resources when we die but we lay that trail while we are alive, don’t we?   We humans leave bits of our skin as we shed it every day, according to the vacuum cleaner salesmen. Most of us find our hair falling out; some more than others. We have tons of garbage rotting in dumps all over the country, some even out on barges in the ocean. We see discarded disposable diapers lying in parking lots and wonder at the term, disposable. It’s strange to realize many of these bits of debris and garbage will be around long after we are not.... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3607677 Thu, 27 May 2010 19:28:49 +0100 3607677 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3599491&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F05%2F26%2Fon-losing-a-child%2F Cindy Haines, Chief Medical Officer of HealthDay and Managing Editor of Physician’s Briefing recently remarked that “Grief is an inevitable component of life lived fully. It is a rare soul, indeed, who passes through unscathed. But losing a child ranks at the top of the hardest to bear.” I have thought about this so often: What I would do if one of my kids died before me? I can’t begin to appreciate the pain, the heartache, a bereaved mother or father must feel, and the reserve of strength and determination that is needed to forge ahead. I know that many of my readers have mourned the loss of their children. Several have asked me to write on this topic. However, as I am a mental-health blogger with two healthy children, I thought it best to get some help from a woma... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3599491 Wed, 26 May 2010 10:01:18 +0100 3599491 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3570066&cid=t_100145_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEMjAVyzMfXQ%2F Grief and recovery from alcoholism, addiction and co-dependency go hand-in-hand. This is an important recovery book. Quoting Groucho Marx, film director Woody Allen once said facetiously, "I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member." But there is a club so universal that adults join and rejoin it many times. The only requirement for membership is living in a world replete with change. Author Melody Beattie calls this unofficial club "The Grief Club" in her book of the same name. She says the club has many subgroups. She unwillingly joined the "My Child Died and My Heart is Broken and Nobody Gets It" subgroup in 1991, when her young son Shane died in a skiing accident. Years later, she became the member of other clubs too, suc... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3570066 Sun, 16 May 2010 18:33:00 +0100 3570066 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3549521&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F05%2F09%2Fwhen-mothers-day-isnt-happy%2F Mom insisted that I send no Mother’s Day flowers this year.  I can’t blame her if she can’t look at the designated special day the same, not yet anyway.  The cruelty this year, in particular, stems from the fact that this second Sunday in May, May 9,  was the day in 2007 when Mom’s first-born, Craig, died of his [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3549521 Mon, 10 May 2010 01:00:32 +0100 3549521 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=4060655&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34859&url=http%3A%2F%2Fblog.davemsw.com%2Farchives%2F2010%2F05%2Fthe_two_darts_of_suffering_pain_is_inevitable_suff.php This is the sixth in a series of articles about emotional intelligence for personal growth. In keeping with the idea that emotional intelligence is one of the foundational concepts of mental health, I dedicate this installment to May, Mental Health Month. It is often said that life is suffering. Some of that suffering is unavoidable. Life has a way of throwing us adversity. The pain of physical distress and illness as well as the psychological pain of loss is unavoidable. This is the first "Dart" and might be called pain. Pain serves an adaptive function in human life and allows us to appraise our experience and prepare to act in ways to maintain favorable conditions or to change unfavorable conditions (Egloff et al., 2006). Positive emotions encourage us to maintain that which evoked our... Ψ Dare To Dream... blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=4060655 Mon, 10 May 2010 00:36:05 +0100 4060655 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3546894&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F05%2F09%2Flife-lessons-from-a-mentally-ill-mom%2F This is my 22nd Mother’s Day. Or my first, depending on how you look at it. You can read my experiences with being a birthmom here and here. Part 3 is rather happier: This is the first Mother’s Day following my ridiculously blissful reunion with my wonderful son and his equally wonderful parents. It’s hard to say much, mostly because the memories of those few days in December are so intensely personal and the emotions still so raw. I’m not quite ready to let the world in on them. What I will say is that, as magical as it all was, and as healing as it all was, it wasn’t a cure-all. Right now, I’m on my third antidepressant combo in two months, trying to get out of the most recent episode, just so you know that even really joyous events don’t instantly cure longstanding... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3546894 Sun, 09 May 2010 09:55:17 +0100 3546894 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3546985&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F05%2F08%2Fwhen-mothers-day-isnt-happy%2F Mom insisted that there be no Mother’s Day flowers this year.  She can’t look at the designated special day the same, perhaps never again.  The cruelty this year, in particular, stems from the fact that the second Sunday in May is May 9 – the day, in 2007, when Mom’s first-born, Craig, died of his injuries [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3546985 Sat, 08 May 2010 19:00:32 +0100 3546985 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3545440&cid=t_100145_87_f&fid=39187&url=http%3A%2F%2Fgetbetterhealth.com%2Fwhen-grief-turns-into-rage%2F2010.05.08 Twice in the last few months I have encountered grief as rage. Both were in the setting of the cardiac arrest of individuals who were already very ill. One was aged, with severe, end-stage heart disease. One was of middle age, but with metastatic cancer and on hospice. In one instance, family members became angry because we did not leave the body in the ER for eight hours so that everyone could come and pay their respects. (Which I always thought was the purpose of a funeral home.)  In another, a family was angry because we did not allow everyone back into the room during the resuscitation of their cancer-stricken loved one — a resuscitation the family insisted upon, and which required rescinding hospice status. From observing their demeanor, their presence would have caused to... Better Health blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3545440 Sat, 08 May 2010 14:00:15 +0100 3545440 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3519503&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F04%2F30%2F7-ways-to-beat-depression-if-youre-unemployed%2F The unemployment rate today has skyrocketed to approximately 10 percent and is forecast to stay above 9.5 percent for the rest of 2010. For the first time in American history, more women are working than men because close to 80 percent of the people laid off in the recent recession were men. According to a recent study published in the “International Journal of Epidemiology,” unemployment is a major risk factor for depression, even in people without previous vulnerability. Because my husband is an architect — the housing market is dead, remember — whose work has slowed down substantially, I have an invested interest in this topic and wanted to know what I could do to help him stay physically and emotionally healthy, since, theoretically, one of us should be. Here, ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3519503 Fri, 30 Apr 2010 16:30:00 +0100 3519503 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3511713&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2F28%2Fmy-last-visit-with-craig-three-years-ago-today%2F From Mourning diary: Craig’s last days – and a few more April 28, 2007 – Update on Craig My sister Janice and I came to Montreal today for a visit with Claude, our sister Lynn and Craig. Little could have prepared us for how we found Craig. He is in very bad shape, from our [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3511713 Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:53:34 +0100 3511713 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3502952&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F04%2F24%2Fthe-happy-and-the-dreadfully-sad-of-april-24%2F Does anyone in Toronto know where I could get French-language greeting cards? Well, one more time, I had to mail an English birthday card to Craig’s partner, Claude.  Now he’s always up for anything that will improve his second-language skills but, as a gesture, I just think French-language cards for him would be nice. April [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3502952 Sat, 24 Apr 2010 18:07:38 +0100 3502952 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3479871&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fsubdued.html Aaron is drinking clear liquids and tolerating them fairly well this evening. Caleb has had some ice chips and we are waiting to see if that increases his diarrhea again or not. I miss my girls, my home. And my husband, oddly enough - being across the hall and seeing him for 20 minutes a day just isn't enough.Tomorrow is my grandpa's funeral. I have been trying all day to write the eulogy. Now I will be trying for a while tonight as well...Caleb apparently slept so much today that he is not particularly interested in going to bed yet. (Source: Turquoise Gates) Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3479871 Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:44:00 +0100 3479871 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3463813&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=39016&url=http%3A%2F%2Fturquoisegates.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F04%2Fplaces-of-pain.html Aaron is stable in the hospital with lots of diagnostic tests still pending. So far we know that his urine is very concentrated, bloody, and has lots of things present that indicate kidney issues or very severe dehydration. His liver function tests are somewhat abnormal. A CT scan this morning showed swelling in his intestines, and an x-ray this afternoon showed a paralytic ileus (intestinal blockage that can cause bowel perforation and death from widespread abdominal infection). The doctors are most concerned about E. coli, and a hemorrhagic colitis (intestinal inflammation and bleeding) it can cause. I am hopeful he will start to turn around tomorrow after 24 hours of fluids, morphine, and antibiotics. In this season of loss and grief, it is hard to be apart and even harder to keep my br... Turquoise Gates blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3463813 Tue, 13 Apr 2010 02:03:00 +0100 3463813 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3472054&cid=t_100145_151_f&fid=35818&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FRecoveryIsSexycom%2F%7E3%2FEfD_ige1zWQ%2F I’ve noticed that most of the discussion is from the female perspective. Probably because most of the people who participate are women, so that’s understandable. But I hope to shed some light on the male side of things the best I can. Usually when a woman is in emotional pain she needs to vent, and it really helps if that place to vent is as anonymous as possible. Women are made differently than men. A man will usually retreat to some place of quiet – some place where there is nothing going on at all – where he can regroup – somewhere where he can think and sort everything out. Like when Teddy Roosevelt lost his wife and mother in the same day – he went to the Badlands alone and spent time in the wilderness thinking things through. He was there for several mont... Recovery Is Sexy.com blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3472054 Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:13:09 +0100 3472054 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3443859&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=36035&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.everydayhealth.com%2Fblog%2Flife-with-chronic-pain%2Fadapting-to-a-life-of-chronic-pain%2F I may look the same as everyone else, but inside, I feel differently because I always have pain. It doesn’t come and go, like an errant neighbor; no, it stays, more like an inconsiderate relative who moved in without waiting for an invitation. When a cataclysmic event occurs in your life, like the advent of chronic pain, it changes you. Not only do you have the physical part of it to deal with, but because you still walk, hopefully, talk and breathe, you have to find a new and often inventive way to do everything. Life’s personal responsibilities remain, our family duties continue and the mere simple tasks of daily life call out to us; therefore you find new ways to do old, everyday jobs. Over the years on this blog I have discussed with all of you the many ways to ease life while at t... Life with Chronic Pain blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3443859 Wed, 07 Apr 2010 00:33:52 +0100 3443859 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3435143&cid=t_100145_129_f&fid=35709&url=http%3A%2F%2Ffeedproxy.google.com%2F%7Er%2FUniqueButNotAlone%2F%7E3%2FJEn7fHUkAjA%2Ftheyre-here.html It usually begins this time of year. They come. They come without me inviting them to my life. They come like perfectly timed bombs. They come to remind me. They come to be remembered. They... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]] (Source: Unique But Not Alone) Unique But Not Alone blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3435143 Sat, 03 Apr 2010 03:01:00 +0100 3435143 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3399131&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F03%2Fperspective-in-grey.html On June 30th it will be three years since my first clean scan, after the cancer had spread to my liver.For almost three years, I have had no evidence of disease (been NED, in cancer lingo).And yet I remain in treatment.I am asked frequently why I continue to receive chemotherapy and Herceptin, if there is no sign of cancer in my body. And the truth is that I often ask myself the same question. Certainly, I don't feel like I have cancer. And I do feel that the cumulative effects - both physical and emotional of ongoing treatment are wearing me down.I am stuck in cancer's grey area.My oncologist said to me last summer, "For all we know, you could be cured."We just don't know enough.Another oncologist I spoke to, hinted that some would take me out of treatment at this point. A third suggested... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3399131 Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:20:00 +0100 3399131 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3370473&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F03%2F16%2F7-ways-to-beat-depression-for-seniors%2F Roughly a quarter of people age 65 or older suffer from depression. More than half of doctor’s visits by the elderly involve complaints of emotional distress. Twenty percent of suicides in this country are committed by seniors, with the highest success rate belonging to older, white men. According to a recent report in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, depression is one of the major causes of decline in the health-related quality of life for senior citizens. Why all the depression? Rafi Kevorkian, M.D. calls them the five D’s: disability, decline, diminished quality of life, demand on caregivers, and dementia. To combat senior depression, then, requires coming up with creative methods to counter the five D’s. Here are 7 strategies to do just that, to help pe... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3370473 Tue, 16 Mar 2010 10:09:10 +0100 3370473 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3363790&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F03%2F14%2Fblogging-about-being-blogged-about%2F I was quick to post this link to Facebook yesterday from a website in Princeton which featured an interview-by-email with me on the subject of blogging about HIV/AIDS. Shruti Kalra, the writer of the piece, first contacted me early in the year, wondering a few things about me and this blog, and I wasn’t long agreeing to [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3363790 Sun, 14 Mar 2010 10:29:48 +0100 3363790 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3331350&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F03%2F04%2Fwhy-are-so-many-teens-depressed%2F Entertainment Tonight recently reported that TV and music star Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son, Michael Blosil, committed suicide last Friday in Los Angeles. In his suicide note, he described a life-long battle with depression, the reason for his suicide. Osmond said Michael became depressed after she and her ex-husband, Brian Blosil, separated, and that he entered rehab in November 2007. According to suicide.org, a teen takes his or her own life every 100 minutes. Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for young people ages 15 to 24. Approximately 20 percent of teens experience depression before they reach adulthood, and between 10 to 15 percent suffer from symptoms at any one time. Only 30 percent of depressed teens are being treated for it.Some teens are more at risk for teen ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3331350 Thu, 04 Mar 2010 12:24:54 +0100 3331350 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3322412&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F03%2F01%2Fsuicide-celebrity-and-young-adulthood%2F With the recent spate of celebrity-related suicides — Alexander McQueen (a fashion designer), Andrew Koenig (from the TV series, Growing Pains), and now Michael Blosil, Marie Osmond’s 18-year-old son — it seems like a sad but appropriate time to weigh in on this tragic outcome of untreated (or under-treated) depression, which is the leading cause of suicide. Alicia Sparks, blogging over at Celebrity Psychings, notes recommendations for the media when reporting on suicide, because suicide contagion is a real phenomenon. That is, there is a small but statistically significant increase in suicide deaths after a reported suicide makes the media rounds. Especially when the person who died by suicide is a celebrity. While suicide feels like a very personal and intense situation tha... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3322412 Mon, 01 Mar 2010 22:05:32 +0100 3322412 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3314772&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35303&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.assertivepatient.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fvery-very-married.html This post was written by my friend Carrie, whose husband died recently of cancer. Our marriage was over long before it ended. Or did it end long before it was over?The road we traveled together should have been much longer - decades longer, winding over sunny hillocks and through dark forests, with long vistas, snow squalls, soft purple sunsets. Our marriage was cut short by Jeff's death from cancer seven months ago.Yet it seems I am still very, very married. I've been doing some public writing, "processing" how hard this all is: this grief thing, that cancer thing, the difficulties as well as some bits of grace and wonder we experienced the last couple of years. I have heard from not a few friends, both men and women, about their complicated relat... The Assertive Cancer Patient blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3314772 Sat, 27 Feb 2010 17:06:44 +0100 3314772 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3271071&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F02%2F14%2F12-ways-to-mend-a-broken-heart%2F Bess Myerson once wrote that “to fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful,” especially if you are the one who wanted the relationship to last. But to stop loving isn’t an option. Author Henri Nouwen writes, “When those you love deeply reject you, leave you, or die, your heart will be broken. But that should not hold you back from loving deeply. The pain that comes from deep love makes your love ever more fruitful.” But how do we get beyond the pain? Here are 12 techniques I’ve gathered from experts and from conversations with friends on how they patched up their hearts and tried, ever so gradually, to move on. 1. Go through it, not around it. I realize the most difficult task for a person with a broken heart is to stand sti... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3271071 Sun, 14 Feb 2010 13:00:09 +0100 3271071 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3269716&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F02%2F13%2Fwhat-to-do-when-life-falls-apart-the-essential-6-step-program%2F What constitutes life falling apart? The death of a beloved spouse or family member? A marriage or relationship that has withered away or perhaps ended abruptly? A job loss potentially leading to financial ruin (or so you might think right now)? Whichever situation is closest to yours, there are some steps that you must go through to come out the other side with your heart — and new life — intact.   The 6 Steps Wallow in it. This step is essential. Repeat everything you went and are still going through many times to anyone who will listen. Good friends and family will be very patient with this part of the process. If your big life change included a cheating spouse, self-righteous indignation is appropriate at this point. Part of this step includes getting out of bed and... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3269716 Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:22:56 +0100 3269716 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3262647&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F02%2F10%2Fwhat-two-poles%2F He looks as if he got confused when dressing this morning in his Eddie Bauer hiking boots and his Armani suit. Then I remember the snow and slush I schlepped through on the way to his office. Always ill prepared for wintry weather, or just too stubborn to buy hideous boots, I sit on his leather couch, nervously shaking my wet, tennis shoed foot, legs crossed, pillow clutched protectively in front of me and my demons. For $135, we are reviewing my meds today. On more than one occasion, it’s been pointed out that I “present” well. This psychological jargon translates into: me, looking just fine. By some unconscious effort, perhaps I do act in that manner. Still, no Oscar, or the riches that accompany it, arrives in my mail box. Go figure. Indeed, I am in grand shape. This is the only s... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3262647 Wed, 10 Feb 2010 22:15:45 +0100 3262647 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3247039&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2010%2F02%2F06%2F3026%2F What a shock to learn last evening of the death in a snowy afternoon traffic accident in Indiana of 21-year old Brendan Burke and his 18-year old companion Mark Reedy. The son of Leafs GM Brian Burke was a hockey player and coach himself on his way to law school. As you’ll see in this interview with [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3247039 Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:27:12 +0100 3247039 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3227963&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F02%2Fsoup-and-missing-muse.html I made three soups in January.Red lentil and carrot from Cooking With Foods That Fight Cancer.Broccoli cheddar from Looneyspoons.Jambalaya from Weight Watchers (heavily modified: I substituted white fish for shrimp, used more liquid and had sausage on the side, so folks could choose their level of spiciness. And I didn't use chicken. And I used different spices. This for me, was a wildly adventurous departure).If I don't run out of time today, I plan on making a pre-chemo Sweet potato and roasted garlic soup from the Eat Clean Diet. A friend gave this one to me. I recall it being time consuming but delicious..I have had a post on the tip of my fingers about my current highly ambivalent feelings about my life, identity and treatment but I can't seem to bring myself to write it.In fact, I ca... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3227963 Mon, 01 Feb 2010 17:15:00 +0100 3227963 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3212378&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F01%2F26%2F10-ways-to-find-a-good-therapist%2F When we want to improve our bodies we pretty much know where to find help. This time of year the gyms are full and the meeting rooms at Weight Watchers are packed. But what do we do when we want to improve our inner selves, our relationships, or want to find help with depression or anxiety? Making the decision to find help is hard enough. Why should you have to get even more stressed out hunting for the right therapist? It’s like searching for a needle in a haystack unless you have some guidance. So here are a few tips: 1. Forget the yellow pages. A yellow pages listing is expensive so a lot of good people aren’t there. I’m not. Plus there is no oversight or regulation of who can list. 2. Ask a professional you already work with and trust. Your accountant, lawyer, dentist... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3212378 Wed, 27 Jan 2010 03:30:39 +0100 3212378 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3197844&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fin-other-news.html I was felled by a yucky stomach bug this week and really didn't feel much like blogging. It's the price I pay for a weakened immune system. My older son is home sick today, too. Not sure what his excuse is.Also, my spouse is in Florida. As far as I know, he's not sick.To compensate for my bitterness at having been struck down during a week of single parenting (I know, some of you have to deal with this kind of thing all the time), I thought I would show off a little.Here is my latest clapotis. I made it for my mom.She thinks she's not very photogenic but I think she's lovely.I made this thing on tiny (2.75mm, if you care about these things) needles and a laceweight (read very fine) yarn. It nearly killed me. I was working on it during chemo one day and one of the pharmacists, herself a kni... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3197844 Thu, 21 Jan 2010 19:22:00 +0100 3197844 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3153661&cid=t_100145_158_f&fid=36018&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcaregiversbeacon.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fbereavement-and-inspiration-guest-post.html This is Sheila's Story of her love for her husband, Gary, pictured here, and of the bereavement and the inspirations that helped her to cope with the loss. Many thanks to you Sheila for emailing your story to me. Excerpts from Sheila's StoryWe had first met at Christian Teen Camp at Nanoose Bay, here on Vancouver Island, in mid July 1972. I was there, with 5 girlfriends as dishwashers, as none of our parents could afford the cost. He was standing quietly in front of the Lodge, with his bike, looking so very shy!I found myself wandering over, just to get a close look, as he was so very handsome. I asked if he was staying, & he replied 'no'. He had just ridden down from Powell River to see this place he'd heard so much about. And as he was working at the Mill there, for his Dad, he'd have to... The Caregiver's Beacon - Resources, Links, Ideas, News blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3153661 Fri, 08 Jan 2010 07:53:00 +0100 3153661 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3142625&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2010%2F01%2F05%2Fthis-emotional-life-losing-a-brother-to-suicide%2F Harvard psychologist and bestselling author Daniel Gilbert has teamed up with Vulcan Productions and the NOVA/WGBH Science Unit to create a multimedia project called This Emotional Life. The second part of this 3-part documentary airs tonight on PBS, but you should also check out their website which features expert bloggers and clips from the series. Featured in the second episode is Robert Antonioni, a state senator in Massachusetts who faced up to his own depression after the suicide of his brother. His personal experience has strengthened his own position as a key policymaker in Massachusetts. I had the opportunity to interview him. Question: How did the suicide of your brother strengthen your position as a key policymaker in Massachusetts? Robert Antonioni: I gradually came to realize,... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3142625 Tue, 05 Jan 2010 12:07:47 +0100 3142625 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3136735&cid=t_100145_158_f&fid=36018&url=http%3A%2F%2Fcaregiversbeacon.blogspot.com%2F2010%2F01%2Fholidays-and-bereavement-joy-memories.html Laughter can change to tears in a moment for those who are coming out of grief after losing a loved one. The holidays are a time of gratitude, hope, and new beginnings. But those who are bereaved, even many years ago, can be surprised when unexpectedly something triggers the twinges of the old grief. Those who are widows and widowers know the feeling.In the midst of the celebrations something touches off a memory and suddenly there is the sharp pain of missing the loved one. One's chest squeezes, one's throat chokes, and a few tears, or a waterfall of tears, seems to come out of nowhere. It could be in the grocery store, at a party, or driving by a familiar scene. Other people, who have not experienced deep bereavement and these waves of grief that well up unexpectedly, might wonder what t... The Caregiver's Beacon - Resources, Links, Ideas, News blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3136735 Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:00:00 +0100 3136735 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3089503&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F12%2Fthese-are-questions-from-proust-quiz-in.html These are questions from the Proust quiz in a recent issue of Vanity Fair magazine. I stole the idea from a friend (she did it on Facebook, so I won't identify her here) and I've been thinking of it ever since.It was interesting to do. My answers reflect the fact that I have been in a somewhat melancholy mood of late. I tried to answer without censoring myself.Feel free to answer the questions in the comments or to link to your on blog if you do it there.What is your idea of perfect happiness?Being somewhere beautiful, being with someone I love. Happiness can come out of nowhere. I am better trained to notice it now.What is your greatest fear?That I will die and my kids will forget me.What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?Lack of discipline and the fear that causes it.What is the ... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3089503 Mon, 14 Dec 2009 05:09:00 +0100 3089503 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3075571&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F12%2F10%2Fthe-7-kinds-of-hope%2F Awhile back Anthony Scioli, coauthor of “Hope in the Age of Anxiety” discussed nine forms of hopelessness and how you can overcome them. This week, I’ve invited Julie Neraas, author of “Apprenticed to Hope: A Sourcebook for Difficult Times,” to tell us about the different kinds of hope. Julie is an ordained minister, spiritual director and associate professor at Hamline University, and speaks regularly about hope, where it can guide you, how it can sustain you, and what meaning it can bring to your life. For more information visit www.julieneraas.com. Here’s Julie … Not all hopes are alike. There are many different kinds like daily hopes — that rain won’t spoil the picnic, that the dentist will not find cavities. Or still larger hopes,... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3075571 Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:24:34 +0100 3075571 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3059864&cid=t_100145_135_f&fid=35247&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmyjourneywithaids.wordpress.com%2F2009%2F12%2F04%2Fdecember-6%2F “A government which lays white roses with one hand and distributes firearms with the other” -Laval MP Nicole Demers (Bloc Québecois) There was no mistaking the partisan nut-roasting but, as far as I’m concerned, point taken Mme. Demers!  The gun registry was Parliament’s tangible response to the massacre of December 6, 1989 and there is significant [...] (Source: My journey with AIDS) My journey with AIDS blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3059864 Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:32:00 +0100 3059864 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3019064&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F11%2F22%2Fsigns-of-suicide-from-kathryn-goetzke%2F Kathryn Goetzke is a depression survivor that began a non-profit organization for depression called iFred (the International Foundation for Research and Education on Depression) dedicated to encouraging research on depression and reducing the stigma associated with the disease. Kathryn lost both her father and her aunt to untreated depression — both tragically ending their lives in suicide. Kathryn herself experienced multiple depressive episodes before getting treatment. She began the organization in 2005, and it has attempted to bring more attention the impact that depression — and its untreated effects, such as suicide — has on families and society. Recently, the Chicago CBS affiliate interviewed her briefly for a story about the signs of suicide, after the suicide of ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3019064 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:01:01 +0100 3019064 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3015323&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F11%2F21%2Fsurviving-the-suicide-of-someone-you-love%2F My brother’s childhood best friend committed suicide. I was 16 years old at the time, Mark (not his real name) was 21. Mark’s parents were close friends of my parents; we played together as little kids, he was my first crush. We drifted apart as we grew up. Mark was a Kennedy-esque figure to me, handsome and smart. Everyone expected great things when he went off to an Ivy League law school. Then he was dead. I have a vivid memory of walking around the neighborhood with Mark’s brother at night. The adults were sitting shiva and he had to get away. Suddenly he grabbed a fallen branch and wailed it on the trunk of a tree. Raw anger. This family did heal. Before support groups or national days of recognition they talked about the conflicting emotions pain, anger, guilt. The ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3015323 Sat, 21 Nov 2009 14:19:11 +0100 3015323 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3003821&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F11%2F18%2Fholiday-blues-with-some-shades-of-grey%2F Meagan really wanted this Christmas to be “extra special” — not like last year, when the family dinner turned nasty and Uncle Fred left in a huff. But as Christmas approached, the shopping chores multiplied, and the savings account dwindled, Meagan became increasingly anxious and dejected. Paul, her husband, wasn’t of much help — he was preoccupied with his job search, after having been laid off two months ago. Meagan was left to deal with three school-age kids and a part-time “temp” job as a secretary. And all this, at a time Meagan strongly associated with her late mother, who always used to help with the holiday cooking — and who had passed away at about this time last year. In the past few days, Meagan had found it increasingly hard to fall asleep, ... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3003821 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:24:58 +0100 3003821 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=3008174&cid=t_100145_111_f&fid=34712&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdigitaldoorway.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Frecovering-from-shock-of-suicide.html Losing a close friend to suicide is like having the fabric of one's life torn open without warning. It is a shocking loss, a bitter and horrific loss. What could be more disruptive to the normal trajectory of life?Having lost a friend to homicide (by police) in 2001 and now a friend to suicide in 2009, there is a continuum of grief and mourning along which I continue to travel. Ironically, it is only quite recently that I feel I've made significant progress in accepting and coming to terms with my friend's 2001 murder, so perhaps I have been handed this newest challenge in order to further sharpen my skills of recovery.Suicide, that most self-centered of acts, removes a person's physical presence in a sudden, unexpected and brutal way. This self-inflicted disappearance sends ripples---or p... Digital Doorway blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=3008174 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:47:00 +0100 3008174 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2993819&cid=t_100145_111_f&fid=34712&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdigitaldoorway.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fdance-of-sudden-loss-and-grief.html Today I am reeling from devastating news of the sudden and tragic death of a very dear friend. Death frequently seems to visit when least expected, and this lack of ability to prepare for loss is one of the factors that can make it so difficult to cope when death pays a call.Eight years ago, another dear friend died unjustly at the hands of the police, followed by the death of my great-aunt, my beloved dog, and my step-father. Digesting this recent history, one of my personal themes for the majority of the last decade has been recovery from grief and traumatic loss.Now with another friend suddenly gone, the list of losses suffered over this last decade has lengthened, and my personal resiliency vis-a-vis grief and loss is challenged once again. In one respect, I am at a loss for words, but... Digital Doorway blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2993819 Sun, 15 Nov 2009 00:49:00 +0100 2993819 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2984983&cid=t_100145_136_f&fid=35316&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnotjustaboutcancer.blogspot.com%2F2009%2F11%2Fmy-husbands-chest.html You don't need to tell me how lucky I am.I have a roof over my head, great medical care and I'm surrounded by people who love me.And don't think I forget how very lucky I am to be alive at all. Why did I get to go into remission? Why me? I am indeed very fortunate.But there are times when I do feel sad that I will never put this cancer behind me. I feel the toll ongoing treatment takes on my body and my emotional well being.So last night I stood in my kitchen, with my head on my husband's chest (we say we were built for each other. My head lands flat on his chest and tucks under his chin). He put his arms around me and we just stood there, breathing together.He didn't need to say anything. He understood my frustration. Only a few hours before I was finallly feeling sharp and healthy and en... Not just about cancer blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2984983 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:33:00 +0100 2984983 http://www.medworm.com/index.php?rid=2981138&cid=t_100145_109_f&fid=34750&url=http%3A%2F%2Fpsychcentral.com%2Fblog%2Farchives%2F2009%2F11%2F11%2Fin-honor-of-veterans-2009%2F This Veterans Day, as we honor the sacrifices made by soldiers who’ve served and those who continue to do so, we mark the 91st anniversary of the end of World War I. It seems so long ago to most of us — ancient history. Yet history is a teacher and if we don’t listen, we’re bound to repeat the same mistakes. The mistake we’re repeating today is not doing enough to recognize and take care of veterans’ mental health needs. This isn’t some feel good mantra. This is a very real need that the military continues to have problems meeting. A professional, nonprofit that represents 1,600 behavioral healthcare organizations released a press release yesterday detailing some of the continuing issues. “For instance, while the Veterans Mental Health Act wa... World of Psychology blogs http://www.medworm.com/rss/comments.php?id=2981138 Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:46:09 +0100 2981138