Holiday reruns
I'm checking out at the store.Mr. Lumbarpain: "Oh, hi Dr. G! How ya doin'?"Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, uh, fine, um, I didn't recognize you when I got in line."Mr. Lumbarpain: "Yeah, I'm workin' at Local Grocery now. Ya got a Shopper's Card?"Dr. Grumpy: "Here, thanks."Mr. Lumbarpain: "Lemme ring this up. Looks like you're havin' burgers. Paper or plastic?"Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, I guess. Paper."Mr. Lumbarpain: "Ya know, my back is still killin' me, and it goes down my right leg."Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, why don't you call Mary and..."Mr. Lumbarpain: "Some days it goes around into my groin, too. Got any coupons?"Dr. Grumpy: "No..."(Lady in line be...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - September 1, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hawaiian memories
In 1989 my family was renting a condo in Kaanapali.The one above us had a group of 4 college-aged women on vacation. We often heard them talking out on the balcony. They didn't bother us, we just noticed who the upstairs neighbors were.Anyway, one day my Dad and I were sitting outside, and we heard 2 of them upstairs, talking about some postcards they were sending back home. Suddenly, there was a huge gust of wind. The newspaper Dad was reading blew over the edge, and we saw some papers from the girls above get scattered into the air. We both went inside.A few minutes later I went out (I'd left my Diet Coke on the table) a...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 29, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hawaiian vacation, day 4
Before we start today's adventures, I have an announcement. Dr. Fizzy is having a medical humor writing contest. Since this will require judges, she wanted someone witty, intelligent, clever, objective, and talented to assist her. Anyway, that person wasn't available, so she settled for me.More information is available here. As a judge, I pledge that I will not be swayed by monetary bribery (a case of Diet Coke, however, can't hurt your cause).And now, back to the vacation.Today we drove up Haleakala.For those of you who don't know, this is the center volcanic crater on Maui, dormant for a few hundred years. It involv...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 28, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hawaiian vacation, day 3
Due to requests that I re-start my vacation series, I now present my summary of our trip to the islands. For those who haven't read my past vacation archives, they can be found here. We had a pretty spectacular view of the ocean, overlooking the island of Lanai in the distance:Nice, huh? I sat out there a lot, drinking beer & mai-tais and reading CME. Doing work-related stuff isn't so bad when ETOH and a great view are in the mix.Watching birds all over the balcony (they're on the lookout for PBJ crumbs) gives you pause to realize that these are the last of the therapods - the biological line that once inclu...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 27, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hawaiian vacation, day 2
Due to requests that I re-start my vacation series, I now present my summary of our trip to the islands. For those who haven't read my past vacation archives, they can be found here.So we got to our condo. It was tastefully decorated, with this lovely piece of art being the first thing you see on walking in:Nothing really says "welcome to Hawaii" like a papier-mâché parrot in a faux-bamboo cage hanging from the ceiling (parrots aren't even native here. But, then again, neither are pineapples*). The kids immediately adopted it as their pet, since Mello and Snowball were back home. Craig, for reasons known only to him...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 26, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Hawaiian vacation, day 1
Due to requests that I re-start my vacation series, I now present my summary of our trip to the islands. For those who haven't read my past vacation archives, they can be found here.Our trip got off to a wild start with Craig.Craig HATES flying. In the days leading up to the trip he became increasingly worked-up about going, and convinced himself that we were going to have a horrible time (no, he's never been to Hawaii before).This reached a comical highlight the night before we left. Mrs. Grumpy sent me to get some extra socks for the kids, and so I went to his room. He was on the phone with a teen-crisis hotline, hy...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 25, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Thursday afternoon
"I have headaches all the time. Even when I don't have a headache, I know I'm secretly having one." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 22, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Skool Nerse time
This is Mrs. Grumpy.School is starting soon, and, as your school nurse, I'd like to offer some tips to help make this a better year for all of us.1. I'm happy to handle your child's medications. That's part of what I do. Please be sure to bring them in with useful instructions. DO NOT drop them off outside my office door after I've left, or hang them in a grocery bag on the school's front gate overnight. Have you people seen the kind of neighborhood Douglas C. Kenney Elementary school is in? Billy's bottle of Adderall is worth a lot of money here, and likely made some junkie very happy. Can't imagine how you explained that...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 21, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Sigh
Dr. Grumpy: "So, how are you doing with the new medication?"Mr. Noventa: "It's awful! It isn't helping my symptoms, and hurts my stomach. It also makes me sleepy all the time, I can't concentrate, and I think it's thinning my hair."Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, then why don't you stop it, and we'll try switching you to..."Mr. Noventa: "I'd rather continue it, because I just bought a 90 day supply." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 20, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Smokin'
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."Mr. Cheech: "Hi, I need to make an appointment with Dr. Grumpy."Mary: "Okay, we can see you on..."Mr. Cheech: "I don't have insurance. Does he accept other forms of payment?"Mary: "Well, we take MasterCard, Visa, AMEX..."Mr. Cheech: "No, I mean, like, in trade? I grow pot in my shed, and can give you some buds."Mary: "No, we don't accept payment of that sort."Mr. Cheech: "It's really high quality, organic. I don't use pesticides or any of that shit." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 19, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Gratitude
Dear Mrs. Patient,I'm glad you're feeling better. It was nice of you to send me a thank you card. I actually treasure notes like yours, and keep them in (as my friend Amanda Brown calls it) the "I don't suck box." On really bad days I read stuff from it for solace, and to reassure myself that I really am doing my best, and some people appreciate that.BUT I must admit, none of the notes I've previously received, in 15 years of doing this, came on a card with a picture quite like yours: (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 18, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Run, Run, Away
All right, gang. With only a few weeks left before the kids head back to school, it's time for the annual Grumpy family Summer vacation. So we're loading up the minivan and adding pontoons for a 5000 mile drive.I may post infrequently over the next 2 weeks, as time allows, but will return to my regular schedule in 2 weeks. (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 3, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Major
Dr. Grumpy: "Any other major health issues?"Mr. Durante: "I sneeze once a day, sometimes twice." (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - August 1, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Memories...
It was the early 1970's. I don't remember the man's name. Maybe I never knew it.My Dad didn't know it either, but he helped him.Dad was downtown, driving home from his law practice one afternoon. I don't remember the time of year.He was stopped at a red light while people crossed in front of his car. One was an elderly man with a cane. One of his legs was shorter than the other, and so he had a shoe with a platform bottom on that side to support him.As he hobbled across the street, he tripped and fell, landing on his chest. The cane went flying, and he was unable to get back up. While he struggled to get to his feet the ty...
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 31, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
Annie's desk
Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."Mr. Blood: "Hi, I have a question about the labs Dr. Grumpy ordered."Annie: "Sure, what's up?"Mr. Blood: "It says here the labs are fasting."Annie: "Yeah, that's standard for what he wants done."Mr. Blood: "Okay, but am I the one who has to be fasting? Or is it the tech who draws them?" (Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House)
Source: Doctor Grumpy in the House - July 30, 2014 Category: Neurologists Authors: Grumpy, M.D. Source Type: blogs
