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Proms, Plays, & Yearbooks: Erasing queer lives from schoolEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Recent school controversies around the country demonstrate how parents, administrators, and other school officials are harming students and teaching homophobia and intolerance.In Mississippi the issue is a female student who wore a tuxedo instead of the "drape" designated for female students for her yearbook photo. Now the school is refusing to publish her senior photo in the yearbook. In Alabama, the conflict was around a lesbian student on the prom committee who asked to bring her girlfriend as her date. The school threatened to cancel the prom. In Nevada, controversy emerged over student productions of The Laramie Proje...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 13, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Elizabeth Meyer, Ph.D. Tags: Child Development Gender Parenting Sex Social Life censorship controversies cynthia stewart drape fake id female students henderson nevada homophobia homophobia in schools laramie project lasting memories lesbian student Source Type: consumer

Women and the Dogs Who Walk ThemEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I've been trying to kick a 20-year habit of being on someone else's schedule. Our dogs have been my methadone. They cannot feed themselves and we don't live on a farm so they don't run wild and free. But I find them to be far more flexible than my former charges -- our children. Dogs will pretty much eat whatever and whenever you feed them. They don't complain, or say ew, what's that? Dogs don't voluntarily become vegans overnight.I used to have this fantasy that involved our teenagers walking the dogs every day. In this dream world there was order and exercise and human-animal bonding. Now that the job has fallen to me th...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 13, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Madora Kibbe Tags: Aging Happiness Parenting Spirituality brain dog-walking Dogs dream world empty nest exercise habit human animal introspection life transitions living at home methadone moms neighbor women neighborhood nod pace re Source Type: consumer

Mothers and Daughters: The Body Image Trickle DownEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Last week, I wrote about what's been happening in Australia, where several body image activists have been accused of being "too beautiful" to deliver a message of self-acceptance and body love to the "average" woman. I asked my readers if they'd still be willing to listen to my message of self-acceptance if I looked like a supermodel. Several women wrote to me and said that truthfully, they'd have trouble with that. I get it...I do. But through my years of body image struggles -- and through years of watching the number on the scale go down, then up, then down again -- I've learned something important about myself: Wh...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 13, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Dara Chadwick Tags: Parenting activists Australia beauty Body image curve excellent point Glamour magazine gold healthy choices little bit love mirror perfect life ripple effect self acceptance self perception self-acceptance self-percepti Source Type: consumer

TV time for Babies...Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Last night my 9-year-old daughter, Eliza, was so excited to see a discounted Baby Einstein DVD at the Barnes and Noble checkout line. She had no desire to buy the little-kid flick but was happy to see her current event come to life. She figured--and probably rightly so--that the book store was trying to dump their versions of once-touted educational DVDs because of all the bad press lately. She had a point.For her week as class reporter she chose the news story about the Walt Disney Company offering refunds to anyone who bought a Baby Einstein video or DVD since 2004 and could send it in with the original case and date of ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 13, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Randi Hutter Epstein, M.D. Tags: Child Development Cognition Parenting 4 year olds baby einstein company baby einstein dvd brainy baby brouhaha busy parents campaign for a commercial free childhood checkout line communication development current event developmen Source Type: consumer

A Note For MothersEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I hope you enjoyed yesterday's words from psychotherapist Mary Jo Rapini. Here's one more bit of wisdom she has to share, being a mom herself.Mother's are rated the top influence in 90% of all girls' lives. We carry with us the wisdom of experience, and no one else will ever love their child as much as we (moms) do. We also realize that the way we grew up wasn't always optimal so we (moms) are looking for a better approach. Girls really want to talk to their moms, but many times hold back due to feeling awkward about how to start the conversation. Our daughters do not want to risk the love of their moms, ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 12, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help daughters family girls love mom mothers rapini truth wisdom Source Type: consumer

Are We Destined To Turn Into Our Mothers?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
When I was young, I used to tell my mother, with great gusto and frequency, that "we're the same person." I fully believed it then. I was in awe of her and wanted to be not just her walking, talking mini-me, but her. Not like her. Not sharing her interests. Her.OK, in the name of honesty, I may have even said it (yes, that same "we're-the-same-person" speech, which now is met with a look of concern for my psychological well-being from said mother) again a month or so ago. But I couldn't help but ponder that age-old question: Don't all daughters, in the end, want to be just like their mothers? Or at least ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 12, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Happiness Parenting Personality Relationships admiration awe cafeteria closeness cold lemonade daughters disability doctors embodiment first person great gusto honesty kind of woman life mother daughter relationship m Source Type: consumer

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: A Few Words On The Mother-Daughter BondEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Author Mary Jo Rapini knows a thing or two about mothers and daughters. During the course of her decade-long career as a psychotherapist, she's confronted everything from body image issues to intimacy issues to parenting issues. Now, she's brought her expertise to the page with her book, ""Start Talking: A Girl's Guide for You and Your Mom About Health, Sex, or Whatever," by Bayou Press. She offers these gems of wisdom that are the perfect recipe for strengthening the mother-daughter bond. Look for a few more words of wisdom from her tomorrow..."Our society continually tries to tell women what they should...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 11, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Gender Happiness Health Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help body image issues bonding daughters decade gems of wisdom health sex intimacy issues mom sex mother daughter mothers mothers and dau Source Type: consumer

The Strength My Mother Gave MeEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Families in every neck of the woods pay homage to the matriarch of their family every May on that lovely Sunday we've come to know - and expect (at least my mother has) - as Mother's Day. Sons, daughters and even husbands shower the women in their lives with cards filled with words of love - and maybe even a Bath and Body Works gift card (my own mother's personal favorite gift). They do the housework for a change and give their boss the night off. And I'm pretty sure there are hundreds of hugs and kilograms of kisses to go around.Last May was a particularly emotional and triumphant Mother's Day for my fam...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 11, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Happiness Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help barry manilow bath and body bath and body works bravado brave face bread and butter buddha cruise ships dark winter daughters deep breaths disability having faith H Source Type: consumer

Benjamin Franklin Was Right, But....Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
This article also quotes a Fort Hood official stating that reports of violent crimes usually go up after a unit has returned from a deployment. Primary symptoms displayed by soldiers after a combat tour, are post traumatic stress disorder, poor anger management, chronic anxiety, and depression.It takes a village to raise a child, and parents should become cognizance about subtle messages society sends to their youth, particularly around the issue of force and conflict resolution. If I were to complete Benjamin Franklin's quote on force it would be, "force sh#*es upon reason's back and then on itself." (Source: Psycho...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 11, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Happiness Morality Parenting adolecents anger management anxiety and depression benjamin franklin chronic anxiety cities in texas cognizance combat tour conflict resolution evolutionary psychologist force Fort Hood genetic sc Source Type: consumer

Some Lessons Taught by Informal Sports, Not Taught by Formal SportsEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Imagine an old-fashioned sandlot game of baseball. A bunch of kids of various ages show up at the vacant lot. They've come on foot or by bicycle. Someone brought a bat, someone brought a ball (which may or may not be an actual baseball), and several came with fielders' gloves. They decide to play a game. The two reputably best players serve as captains, and they choose up sides. They lay out the bases--which might be hats, Frisbees, or any other objects of suitable size. There may not be enough players to fill all the standard positions, so they improvise. No adult authority is present to tell the kids what to do or to set...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 11, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Peter Gray Tags: Child Development Creativity Evolutionary Psychology Happiness Parenting Sport and Competition adult coach adult presence adult supervisor bicycle fielders gloves formal game frisbees hats Heroes informal sports league game Source Type: consumer

PornStar Mom, SuperStar Stepmom...What About Dad?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Last week the custody battle between Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, and James's ex-wife, Janine Lindemulder, exploded into public view as Lindemulder took to Good Morning America to make her case. It seems that while Lindemulder, a former adult film actress, was serving a six-month sentence for tax evasion, James won a temporary order granting full custody of their 5-year-old daughter Sunny. He now seeks to make it permanent, alleging that Lindemulder is an unfit mother and a drug addict, and that Lindemulder's husband is a convicted felon. So far, Lindemulder has passed a drug test, and the court has ordered that ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 10, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Tags: Gender Media Parenting blended family catfight custody battle divorce double standard drug addiction family court Janine Lindemulder jesse james mother remarriage Sandra Bullock sexism step mother stepmother unfit mothe Source Type: consumer

National Adoption Month: BittersweetEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
This year's theme for National Adoption Month--which occurs in November--is "You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent" (what a relief--right?).Jokes aside, I should be happy about this special month to celebrate adoption. But I'm not, not totally anyway. I've written about this over at The Faster Times in To My Daughters, Now Grown: One Adoptive Mom's Love Song.Funny thing is, I never really gave much thought to National Adoption Month, until now. (Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center)
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 10, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Meredith Resnick, M.A., M.S.W., L.C.S.W. Tags: Parenting adoptive mom experiences fathering grief jokes love song mothering national adoption month older child adoption parental bonding Source Type: consumer

Moral Adults: Moral ChildrenEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
In the Brother's Grimm fairy tale, "The Old Grandfather and the Grandson," a young married couple has grown tired of the husband's father, who lives with them, and who has become increasingly feeble. They stop inviting him to the dinner table and begin feeding him small portions from a dishpan.One day they watch their small son gathering some bits of wood on the ground; he is building something. "What are you doing there?" asks the father. Misha says, "Dear father, I am making a dishpan. So that when you and dear Mother become old, you may be fed from this dishpan ."The husband and wife look at one another and, asham...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 9, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Richard Weissbourd Tags: Child Development Morality Parenting Personality adult development adult morality adulthood bookstores children and morality compassion dear father dear mother dinner table Fears great faith grimm fairy tale husband and wif Source Type: consumer

Hypocrisy, Why We Are Sometimes Guilty Of ThisEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Recently Carrie Prejean, the former Miss California beauty queen was found to have contradicted her Christian values, after pageant officials discovered a solo sex tape, starring her. But this isn't the first time a well known public figure outspoken in support of righteous values has being found to have contradicted his or her moral high ground. As a matter of fact this is so rampant, that it is not a matter of how often the media can find a public figure engaging in hypocrisy, but how well known the culprit is.In all fairness, at some point in time, everyone has engaged in hypocrisy and sadly there are multiple offenders...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 9, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Morality Parenting Therapy beauty queen california beauty carrie carrie prejean christian values condemnation culprit elders fairness hypocrisy masturbation matter of fact miss california moral high ground pageant officia Source Type: consumer

A sense of autonomy is a primary reward or threat for the brainEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
This is the fourth in a series of five posts about the big drivers of threat and reward in the brain. So far I have posted about status, certainty and relatedness. This week let's explore the issue of autonomy. Autonomy is a feeling of having choices. This feeling turns out to be deeply upsetting when taken away from us.Teen angst is not universalAccording to Dr. Robert Epstein, teenagers in western cultures have fewer choices than a felon in prison. They can't drink, vote, have sex, marry, or choose where they go. I am not saying teens should be given total autonomy, they would probably make some pretty bad decisions. Yet...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 9, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: David Rock Tags: Child Development Happiness Neuroscience Parenting 18 year olds autonomy autonomy SCARF bad decisions biological necessity deleterious effects dr robert drinking ages felon live bands maier relatedness robert epstein stev Source Type: consumer

Reconciling DifferenceEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Her joys, her woes, Her highs, her lows, Are second nature to me now; Like breathing out and breathing in. . . .I've grown accustomed to the trace, Of something in the air; Accustomed to her face. -My Fair Lady Today, Frederick Loewe's My Fair Lady raises more than a few politically correct eyebrows, yet the musical persists and its closing song, I've Grown Accustomed to her Face, continues to evoke the tender sweetness of love's attachment. John Bowlby also celebrates relational bonds. His bardic trilogy, Attachment, Separation, and Loss, articulates a conceptual arc that has shown equal endurance. Attachment theory, the ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 7, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Gay Bradshaw Tags: Animal Behavior Cognition Evolutionary Psychology Morality Neuroscience Parenting Politics Relationships Social Life Stress animal minds animal psychology animal-assisted therapy attachment theory brain and mind british psych Source Type: consumer

In The Aftermath Of The Fort Hood Mass Shooting, A troubling MessageEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
There is a ubiquitous message we send to youths, over the ownership and use of guns in our society. That message is an eye for an eye. In the aftermath of the Fort Hood mass shooting, a lot of emphasis has being placed on the shooter's religion and his unhappiness about receiving orders to be deployed.Here's the truth, Maj. Hasan is a man with significant mental illness. A mentally ill man who found easy access to a gun, and who subsequently had easy access to use it on innocent people. The focus on Maj. Hasan's reasons for the shootings takes away from the psychological ramifications around the rampant availability of gun...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 7, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Child Development Law and Crime Parenting adolecents assault rifles collective psyche conflict resolution continuum Crime and Punishment easy access extremist views eye for an eye Fort Hood gun control gun rights guns rifles Source Type: consumer

Breeding BabiesEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Can it be that we are finally realizing that humans aren't created to make litters? In the beginning--that is in the early days of reproductive technology--we were wowed with the amazing feats of medical science. One day a woman is infertile, the next day, she's bred five at a time, a full house. These families became proud diaper sponsors and could be guaranteed a photo op in women's magazines. Nowadays, they can get their own reality TV show, which will certainly help defray the costs of baby food and baby wipes.Ever since British scientist Robert Edwards made little Louise Brown in a straw (yes, he used a straw to suck ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 6, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Randi Hutter Epstein, M.D. Tags: Child Development Parenting amazing feats baby food baby wipes british scientist developed nations fertil infant mortality intensive care unit litters louise brown medical science multiple births old baby premature births p Source Type: consumer

"A Room of One's Own" - I'll be Happy with the Bathroom!Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Virginia Woolf in "A Room of One's Own" wrote passionately about the need for women to have a place of their own to write and to be creative.Eighty years later, women across the country still have the same lament! Mother's whether they live in mansions or apartments eventually all will get driven to the smallest room in the house, the bathroom.From the privacy of their bathrooms, women run multi million dollar businesses, have heartfelt conversations with their best friends and conduct interviews. Hampers can serve as a desk for your laptop and the inside a file cabinet. In times of exhaustion, the top of the hamper can ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 6, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wanda Behrens-Horrell, L.C.S.W., NCPsyA Tags: Parenting airedale battleground commode conduct interviews daught dollar businesses exhaustion file cabinet green leaves hamper mansions northern toilet paper private place running water small blessings sound barrier squa Source Type: consumer

A Moment of Body "Thanksgiving"Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Last week, I wrote about my struggle to help my 13-year-old daughter find a Halloween costume that was fun, but not too sexy. It was no easy task. But in the end, it was a non-issue: The kid never went trick or treating. Instead, she spent Halloween on the couch, with a fever and an awful case of the flu. It was a scary six days in our house. At 13 -- and sometimes, sadly, at 30 and 40 -- we're so busy thinking about all the ways our bodies don't measure up to whatever standard we hold in our heads as "perfect" that we sometimes fail to appreciate the simple pleasure and value of good health. Normally, I'm t...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 6, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Dara Chadwick Tags: Parenting 12 year old girl absolute terror Body image case of the flu cocoa firm believer flu virus good health gratitude Halloween costume innocence knowledge is power little girl next morning sick child simple pleasure Source Type: consumer

What Is The Value Of A Life?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I was once told that I shouldn't have kids, because the child could be born with Asperger's, like me. I answered with a question - "Would you have given the same advice to my parents?""Well," came the answer, "look at all the difficulties you've had, and the pain you've had to endure...surely you wouldn't wish that on a child." Well, it's true that living my life with Asperger's has often been difficult. Yes, I have dealt with my fair share of pain and rejection... In a perfect world I wouldn't want a child to go through the same issues. But I also had to wonder...is life just about avoiding p...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 6, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Lynne Soraya Tags: Autism Child Development Cognition Creativity Gender Happiness Health Memory Morality Neuroscience Parenting Personality Relationships Resilience Self-Help Social Life Spirituality Stress abstract concept asperger syn Source Type: consumer

Teens Can Drive You Nuts--Especially When They're Not Yours!Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Special Guest Post by Susan Wisdom, LPCauthor of StepcouplingSusan uses the terms "biological child" and "biological parent," terms I prefer not to use in my own writing about stepfamilies, since many parents are adoptive parents. However, I think you will find Susan's piece and suggestions helpful to your step/family, regardless of how you came by your kids and stepkids.PARENTING BIOLOGICAL TEENS VS STEPTEENSWe all know that parenting teenagers is no piece of cake, but I have to say it's harder with a stepchild than your own flesh and blood. It's especially hard for stepmothers. The hardest time for a stepfamily to form i...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 5, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Tags: Parenting Relationships adolescent years adoptive parents bad behavior biological child biological parent biological parents blended family divorce flesh and blood funny things hardest time letting go of control mother parent Source Type: consumer

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: A Parent's PerspectiveEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Editor's Note: From the moment I began reading Ellen's To The Max, a blog about life and love with her son, Max, who had a stroke at birth. I immediately found myself captivated by her honesty, something that is sometimes lacking in the disability world. Read on for her thoughts on raising a child with a disability and the importance of the mother-child bond. And, of course, I couldn't resist asking Max a few questions, too...Describe a bit of the emotional journey you found yourself on after Max's birth? After Max was born, I was pretty devastated. Obviously, you're never prepared to have something go wrong during a birth...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 4, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Health Parenting Relationships Resilience Alternative Treatments babies color purple disability disability world early intervention program emotional journey exuberance family greatest joy hearing problems honesty insurance Source Type: consumer

The Sneaky Ways Your Mother Shaped YouEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Everybody has a nickname for their mother. Maybe they're not comfortable with the traditional Mom label. Case in point: In one of my favorite movies, "Mermaids," Winona Ryder's character calls her mother Mrs. Flax. She takes the professional-relationship route. My sister, Janelle, and I call our mother Ms. Bear. She's always been Ms. Bear. I'm not even sure when the nickname came into existence. I suppose it morphed out of the childhood image of my mother rising from her bed chambers. Every morning since I was 10 years old, the scene played out the same way. I'd hear a faint creak of a bed, hear loud foot...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 3, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help apron bed chambers bonding bringing home case in point cleavers creak daughters disability electronics shop family feminists flax janelle knee cap mothe Source Type: consumer

What Makes Stepmothering a Feminist Issue?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
In a word, power.Over the last months of promoting my book Stepmonster, I've tried to spread the word that, in spite of our image of them, the majority of women with stepchildren are anything but empowered, evil excluders and victimizers. Indeed, numerous studies and anecdotal reports from mental health professionals who work with stepfamilies paint a picture that may startle us: stepmothers are often the most powerless and vulnerable members of the stepfamily system.Experts including Jamie Kelem Keshet have found that when a woman marries or partners with a man with children-particularly if she has no children or "mini-fa...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 3, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Tags: Gender Parenting Relationships adult stepchild adult stepchildren advice affections anecdotal reports assumptions disempowerment family family hierarchy gender bias guilt hierarchy in stepfamily hostility interloper Jamie Source Type: consumer

How Your Child Will DieEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Odds are, sooner or later, your child will die of coronary artery disease (CAD) - fatty deposits in the arteries. Heart disease is the number one cause of death for Americans - strokes are third - and the large majority of both are due to CAD. Diabetes - which shares risk factors with CAD - is the sixth leading cause of death.The bad news - Americans' death rate is higher than most comparable economically advanced (and even several developing) countries. The good news - Americans' death rates are declining. More bad news, younger Americans are rapidly developing their risk profiles for CAD and diabetes, with as yet uncalcu...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 2, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Stanton Peele Tags: Parenting 14 year olds arteries cause of death childhood protection coronary artery disease coronary heart disease death rate death rates eight times fatal accidents fatty deposits infant mortality infant mortality rate kids in Source Type: consumer

Embryo Adoption: 7 QuestionsEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Snowflakes Frozen Embryo Adoption was established in 1997 when its president, attorney Ron Stoddart, was asked to facilitate the open adoption of an embryo. Today, that Snowflake Baby is approaching teenhood. Since then there have been hundred of babies who have been born through the program.Ron Stoddart answered some of my more general questions about the program and the nuts and bolts of how it works. Nightlight Christian Adoptions is the "parent" agency of the Snowflake program. Families need not be Christian to adopt.Meredith: Can you explain what embryo adoption is all about - the nuts and bolts?Ron Stoddart: Embryo a...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 2, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Meredith Resnick, M.A., M.S.W., L.C.S.W. Tags: Parenting adoption adoptive parents birthmother childbirth court hearing e mail embryo adoption embryo donation emotional issues holiday card infertility infertility treatment IVF meredith nightlight christian adoptions nin Source Type: consumer

Are Parents To Be Blamed When Their Teens Intentionally Hurt Others?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Are Parents to be blamed when their adolescents victimize others? From time to time, I read or hear news reports about how one or more adolescents have victimized one of their peers. About a month ago, it had to do with beating to death of a Chicago teen, and last week it was the gang rape of a fifteen year old girl. Out of habit, the first thing that pops into my mind is to ask who the parents of these attackers are, and why. But the truth is, parents are not to be blamed for the actions of their adolescents, however this is not to suggest that parents are relieved of all responsibility in regards to the actions of ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 2, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Parenting adolecents adolescents attackers bodily harm bottom line caseworker co workers condolences crime discipline gang rape habit news reports offspring old girl parents peers perceptions relationship sex crime Source Type: consumer

Sibling Rivalry ≠ Sibling Abuse: Parents Beware!Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Sibling rivalry is considered a normal and routine part of family life these days. Bickering, teasing and fighting among siblings can be seen everywhere from school bus stops to our television sets.Sibling rivalry can and often does, however, slide into sibling abuse, with the potential to cause serious lifelong trauma and suffering. Sibling abuse takes many forms. Emotional torture, such as name-calling or taunting, is all too common between those who are familiar with one's weakest points. But sibling abuse can also involve physical abuse -- hair pulling, shoving, hitting, and even threats of bodily harm. Sibling abuse i...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 2, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Linda G. Mills Tags: Parenting abuse abuse story bodily harm caretaker corrina daily basis department of health department of health and human services dr phil Dr. Phil family life family therapy fighting healthy relationships life these days o Source Type: consumer

Punishing the adolescent:Part one of three.Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Punishing their adolescent is one of the more unrewarding parts of parenting. Not only does it add negativity to a temporarily strained relationship; it can provoke the adolescent to punish parents in return.This payback is commonly done by acting mad, by complaining about mistreatment, or by refusing to talk to them for some period of time. This is kind of a "You showed me"/ "I'll show you" exchange of disfavor. Come adolescence, punishment is no fun for anyone.A thankless part of parental discipline, punishment is NOT for minor infractions like leaving the refrigerator door open again or not turning out the lights. It is...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - November 1, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D. Tags: Parenting adolescence adolescent aggravation aggravations chores dirty dishes family member joy ride keeping punishment constructive magnitude minor infractions misbehavior parental discipline Parental punishment payback pe Source Type: consumer

High school teacher suspended after assigning an article on homosexuality in animalsEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Yesterday, Mr. Delong, a 10th and 12th grade Honors English teacher in Piasa, IL was suspended for assigning an article about homosexuality in the animal kingdom to his students. Should teachers ask their students to read about controversial topics? Should we allow parents veto power over the curriculum?The local paper reporting this story quoted the teacher saying, "I have been suspended, but not without pay," Delong, of Carlinville, said Wednesday. "But I would rather not comment further until I speak with my union representative." In true student-activism fashion, a Facebook group called "Bring back Mr. Delong" has been...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 31, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Elizabeth Meyer, Ph.D. Tags: Child Development Cognition Gender Parenting Philosophy controversial topics critical thinkers curriculum delong english teacher gender and sexuality glbtq community heterosexism heterosexuality homosexuality homosexuality in Source Type: consumer

I'll Pay You Ten Dollars to Throw That AppleEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I was observing a Speech Therapist work with an autistic child (I consult with a school system in New York). The teacher was sweetly and diligently trying to help him pronounce the word ‘Green.' The boy, we'll call him Alan, threw the apple he was holding at the teacher. It bounced lightly off her.The Speech teacher laughed, and then, realizing that she might have been sending the wrong message, got a stern look on her face. "Alan , look at me," she said. "I am not happy."Alan then went on to do many more minor defiant acts, including sitting in her chair, knocking objects over, leaving his desk and walking around the ro...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 30, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Jonathan Levy Tags: Autism Child Development Happiness Health Parenting acts adult adults Apple autistic child button pushing. misbehaving cartoon character child care child fun children with autism countless times desk joey promise reac Source Type: consumer

Life Lessons From My FatherEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
It may sound strange, but I've come to think of my life not so much in terms of my "in-the-hospital" Melissa and "normal-spunky-redhaired" Melissa, but in terms of life before my father's suicide and the life I've tried to create from the ruins left behind in his wake.That second girl - the one who lost her father at the tender age of 21? I like to think of her as Melissa 2.0. On the outside, it's still me - green eyes, dots of freckles running up and down my arms, the cute little smile. But the girl on the inside has morphed into a woman. She was born the day my father died.And yet, as angry as I was (an...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 30, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Health Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help cool water daughter disability dots family family man father freckles green eyes gulf of mexico hands and feet life lessons little feet little smil Source Type: consumer

Halloween costumes: Is sexy empowering?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Earlier this week, I wrote a post on my You'd Be So Pretty If... blog about my daughter's search for a Halloween costume. Given the reaction it got, I'm reprinting it here: I'm not usually a big ranter -- in public, anyway -- but at what point did a "holiday" for children become all about women looking sexy? Last week, I took my kids to a local Halloween store (one of those places that moves in temporarily in the month before Halloween) to look for costumes. My son, who's 11, made a beeline for the scariest costumes he could find, and ended up choosing this freaky, demented-looking jester mask that gives me the willi...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 30, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Dara Chadwick Tags: Parenting Body image halloween sexy teens tweens Source Type: consumer

Savoring Those Special Moments With DadEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Growing up, I was the sort of girl who had a varying array of nicknames for, not my sister, but my father. For example, I'd harp "Good one, Einstein" after he made, in my young eyes, a blatantly obvious comment.Or I'd give his soft, round stomach a little pat/punch and exclaim "Fat Boy" when he'd come home from work every night, kiss us on the heads and head right to the bag of Cheetos. His typical response to my unprovoked barbs and jabs? He'd usually just chuckle it off - as his belly wiggled like Santa Claus.No doubt about it. I was an original daddy's girl. In all honesty, though, it was my father who...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 29, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Parenting Relationships barbs daughters family fathers feminine side finer things fitting tribute frasier gal pals hotel balcony jabs last laugh making a kite metrosexual model airplane nicknames nil Source Type: consumer

Delivering a Baby: Commercial Surrogacy in IndiaEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
What's it like to grow a baby in your body for nine months, feel it start to move and kick, give birth, and watch as the newborn is whisked away to the waiting arms of its...mother?Media descriptions of commercial surrogacy (1, 2, 3, 4) tend to focus far more on the lives and feelings of the "contracting parents" than on those of the surrogates. Typically the stories discuss the despair associated with infertility, the hopes aroused by the prospect of a genetically related child, the anxieties of "outsourcing" the gestation of the child, and the joys of "taking delivery" of the baby. The surrogates usually figure briefly a...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 29, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Marcy Darnovsky, Ph.D. Tags: Gender Morality Parenting Social Life american prospect anxieties arlie hochschild caesarean section commercial surrogacy difficult questions emotional attachment emotional labor fertility clinic gallop genetics gestation g Source Type: consumer

How Does Your Teen Cope?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I thought I would share with you the parts of my book, Adolescent Assessment, that readers found the most interesting. One of the most popular topics was defense mechanisms. Anna Freud (1958), Sigmund's daughter, believed people defended themselves against anxiety with defense mechanisms. As you may have learned in Introductory Psychology, Freudians believe internal conflicts cause anxiety. To reduce this anxiety, people employ psychological defenses. After many years of observing children, adolescents, and adults, and despite my extremely rigorous scientific training, I've concluded there is some merit to Freudian observa...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 29, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Jann Gumbiner, Ph.D. Tags: Addiction Child Development Parenting Adolescents and Coping styles anna freud anxiety astute observer avoidance car accident defense mechanisms defenses ego conflicts internal conflicts introductory psychology observing childr Source Type: consumer

Why Did the Divorced Dad Build a Wall?Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
As I researched my book Stepmonster, I realized all the ways in which a remarriage with children is different from a first marriage or partnership. The list goes on and on, but privacy and boundaries tend to be big issues. Martin Babits, a couples therapist and author of The Power of the Middle Ground: a Couple's Guide to Renewing Your Relationship, is my guest blogger today, and has this to say:It's been four years since the divorce that ended my 27 year marriage. How and why it happened is a story I'll tell you some other time. My son, knowing that it is not even a remote possibility, is rooting for his mom and I to get...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 29, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Tags: Parenting Relationships Self-Help archimedes principle boundaries couples therapist dad dating dining room divorce divorce with children Dogs formal sense good friend health boundaries heart living space marriage Martin Source Type: consumer

Words of Wisdom Wednesday: Notable QuotablesEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I couldn't resist posting some of my favorite quotes about the dynamic of the father-daughter relationship. What are some of your favorites? I'd love to hear them!"Certain is it that there is no kind of affection so purely angelic as of a father to a daughter. In love to our wives there is desire; to our sons, ambition; but to our daughters there is something which there are no words to express." --Joseph Addison"To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter." --Euripides"He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to into the basemen...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 28, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Happiness Parenting Personality Relationships affection ambition daughter desire erma bombeck euripides family father father daughter favorite quotes frying pan garrison keillor hostage joseph addison Source Type: consumer

Blogging the Wild ThingEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I've been thinking a lot lately about why we read blogs. And why we write them. I have to admit it, several years ago when I first heard about the concept of blogs and blogging I thought it was terribly narcissistic. Why would someone write something by, to, for, and about themselves? For awhile I persisted in that opinion, but have now been munching on those tart words for quite some time.While I've been wondering about it, the film version of Where the Wild Things Are has been released, and it brings to mind an incident highlighting one of my favorite themes, that of Life as Story and the need we all have for stories to ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 28, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Jenny Lind Schmitt Tags: Parenting big sister blog blogging bookshelf coffee table exasperation favorite themes film version frustration Hermes inhalation late in the day lower case Maurice Sendak nuts quite some time realization story Where Source Type: consumer

Wild Things and the Dance of Temperament in Step/family LifeEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
My eight-year-old son recently told me that he did not want to go to Where the Wild Things Are. A friend of his went, he told me, "and had to leave. It was just too scary." Indeed, my son grabbed my hand--a rare event these days--during the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are.When you're a Wild Thing, wild things can scare the bejujubees out of you.Parents and stepparents likely feel the same way. Sendak's story and Jonze's version convey not just playfulness but also the fearsome beauty of a child's most important impulses: to separate, to sass, to go away, to come back again. Particularly for stepfamilies, where wild t...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 27, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. Tags: Child Development Media Parenting Relationships Resilience Self-Help adaptability Alexander Thomas attention span child psychiatrists developmental psychologist Difficult Child dr rebecca Easy Child family dynamics frustratio Source Type: consumer

Pushing Competition and Damaging Health: Making Play OffensiveEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
If American football were a food additive or a drug, it would be banned by the FDA. Or, if financial interests prevented its banning, its package would at least carry a surgeon general's warning: Football causes brain damage. For a layman's summary of the evidence, take a look at Malcolm Gladwell's article, Offensive Play, which appeared in last week's New Yorker (Oct. 19 issue).Gladwell's article is based largely on his interviews with two neuropathology researchers--Anne McKee and Bennet Omalu--who are specialists in a condition called chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a progressive neurological disorder caused by ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 27, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Peter Gray Tags: Child Development Creativity Evolutionary Psychology Happiness Health Neuroscience Parenting Sport and Competition assays behavioral changes bennet omalu brain damage chronic traumatic encephalopathy clear evidence competitive Source Type: consumer

Halloween Manners: Dress Like a Witch, but Behave Like a LadyEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
As you work this week, take heart: Halloween is this Saturday. Whether you're staying at home handing lollipops to goblins or dressing in the costume of your dreams for the holiday party, manners should be part of the evening. Dress like a witch and "arrr!" like a pirate, but behave like ladies and gentlemen.  HALLOWEEN ETIQUETTE Q&A: 1. HOW DO YOU SIGNAL TO OTHERS YOU'RE DISTRIBUTING CANDY? While a gleaming porch light has been the favored nonverbal cue of candy-offering in the past, other signals include a carved and lit pumpkin, a holiday-decorated home, ghoulish music piping from a sound system, o...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 26, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: LisaMarie Luccioni, M.A., A.I.C.I., C.I.P. Tags: Child Development Parenting Relationships Social Life Work arrr behavior blasphemy candy chocolate costumes energy level etiquette evening dress gifts goblins halloween health issues holiday holiday party host hos Source Type: consumer

Parents And The Convenience of MythsEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
When working with adolescents and their parents, I usually encounter two types of families. On one hand there are families who recognize that things are amiss and are willing to throw in the towel, and keep an open mind to a new way of doing things. On the other hand, there a families who recognize that things are amiss, have a strong desire for change, but are insistent that their way of thinking and doing, not change an iota. Needless to say the latter presents as more challenging as the first. However such is the convenience of myths; the belief that a specific way of thinking and doing will guarantee some form of...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 26, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Parenting adolecents adolescent adolescents anger belief that convenience defiant children discipline email false positives feedbacks household identical twins iota myths parenting works parents personalities predicta Source Type: consumer

A Girl, Her Dad and a Summer SkyEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
This week, let's explore the father-daughter dynamic as it relates to having a disability. The father-daughter bond is an extraordinary one at its foundation, but add a disability to the mix, and that bond becomes even more solid, as it did in my case. At 21, I swiftly waved goodbye to my childhood and the innocence that had become my security blanket, leaving behind a life of memories and love and entering a new and frightening chapter in my life somewhat naked. As life sprouted up against the early morning dew and glistening sunshine, my father chose to end his on March 10, 2003, following a rigorous fo...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 26, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Melissa Blake Tags: Child Development Happiness Parenting Personality Relationships auburn hair bear arms brilliant color daughters disability enough woman family family photo albums father daughter fathers hearty chuckle innocence little gi Source Type: consumer

Criticizing your adolescent.Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
It's tempting for parents to criticize their adolescent.After all, normal developmental changes make the young person harder for them to live with as he or she breaks the boundaries of childhood to create more freedom to grow. Consider the three engines for independence that drive adolescent growth (separation, opposition, and differentiation) and the aggravation for parents that these changes can cause.In service of SEPARATION the adolescent pulls away from nuclear family to form a new family of friends. Now the young person becomes less communicative to create more privacy about this separate social world. Now he or she ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 25, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D. Tags: Parenting adolescent growth adolescent parents aggravation boundaries closeness companionship critical parents Criticizing criticizing adolescents criticizing and parental discipline criticizing teenagers developmental changes di Source Type: consumer

What We Don't Say Out Loud: The Internal DialogueEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
As Delta Delta Delta sorority's "Fat Talk Free Week" comes to a close, I'm curious: How did you do? Were you able to refrain from making critical comments about your body? Were you able to avoid making jokes at your own expense? It's a noble effort on the sorority's part -- to bring awareness to the world of the unkind words that women hurl at themselves, too often under the guise of female bonding. But there's another kind of "fat talk" that's less obvious. I'm talking about the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. True freedom from "fat talk" isn't just about biting your tongue before the self-critici...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 23, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Dara Chadwick Tags: Parenting Body image chase confidence critical comments delta delta delta delta delta delta sorority emotions Fat Talk Free Week female bonding guise healthy foods inner voice internal dialogue internal war lips noble effor Source Type: consumer

Dealing With Rejection (Re-Evaluating The Priority of Needs)Email this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
Some time ago, I addressed a situation with a thirteen year old, who had been turning in blank sheets of papers to his teachers, and calling them his assignments. To further make this case interesting, this teen had been identified as a gifted student, by his teachers and other professionals. It later came out that he was attempting to dumb himself in the presence of his peers in order to gain acceptance. While this revelation made a lot of sense, it was also sad, because for most of the semester he had spent his time sabotaging his academic progress.This scenario is quit typical with teens, however it calls attention for ...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 22, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Ugo Uche Tags: Parenting academic progress adolecents adults anorexia attitude blank sheets clothes clothing company eating disorders emotional needs essential nutrients feelings five feet gifted student human beings peers phenomenon Source Type: consumer

My Own Private OlympusEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
The children have decided that for the purposes of this blog as well as life in general, they should take the names of Greek gods for nicknames. This is fine with me, as it adds a luster of glamour to our otherwise ordinary day to day existence. And we are quite fond of the Greek gods. Definitely not something on which to base a systematic theology, (talk about creating gods in your own image!) but oh my, can they ever be entertaining!So here it is, my own private Mount Olympus: Artemis, our oldest, is goddess of the hunt and also devoted to the moon. While she doesn't yet show a penchant for bow and arrows, she definitely...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - October 20, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Jenny Lind Schmitt Tags: Parenting ancient greeks aphrodite goddess of love aphrodite goddess of love and beauty Apollo apollo god Artemis Athena ballet class bow and arrows creating gods democracy encouragement family life feast god of light godde Source Type: consumer

Do you believe in signs? A skeptic wrestles with the ghosts of her faithEmail this article to a colleague. Save this article to My Clippings. Discuss or comment on this article.
I have always believed in something, some other thing, not me, not of me, not controlled by me, that exists on some other plane, but only with great skepticism. I'm no sucker. No snake oil bought here. Trust but verify.I also, for lack of a better way to put it, see dead people. Not like that. But in this always-have way I've always had of feeling an awareness of passings, of pain, of souls. The moment my beloved mother-in-law, Gloria, passed, in the middle of the night, I startled awake, looked over and felt/saw her. My daughter, blessed/cursed with the same Aeolian harp for this kind of thing, at that same moment, jumped...
Source: Psychology Today Parenting Center - August 6, 2009 Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Pamela Cytrynbaum Tags: Parenting acts of god belief Buddhism faith grief Judaism loss and bereavement signs Source Type: consumer